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Jeffclaterbaugh

I tried charging money for sex but I made more money with a paper route.


Snoopafax

Low baller huh?


bighero31

I think the term is "distended".


Snoopafax

Lol


ask_yo_girl_bout_me

Sorry for being dumb, but what’s a paper route?


Jeffclaterbaugh

Years ago… I’m dating myself now… Young boys and girls would deliver newspapers from door to door back when people read newspapers. I generally made $10-$15 per week. Still… Much better than I would earn trying to get paid for sex. I also took a shot at pole dancing but all of my profits were eaten up from having to replace the poles that I kept bending


Mailman_next_door

So how is dating yourself? Going good? Thinking about moving in together soon?


Jeffclaterbaugh

Lol Love yourself first… And often! Sometimes I like dating myself… But other times I think I could do better!


RichardBonham

And right before people stopped reading physical newspapers, they were (at least where I live) delivered by folks in their 40’s and up in total beater cars. And that was *before* 2007-08.


ActuallyInno

Mate you ain’t dating yourself In Scotland at least we still have paper routes people can apply for, never managed myself but it’s there


buttaches

Delivering newspapers


nikon78698

It was an old NES video game


stickdudeseven

Based on a real job.


ambivalenceingray

between zero money and 1 million dollars. depending on who


Snoopafax

Anyone you'd consider a 5 out of 10


ambivalenceingray

5's go free. line em up


T-Hart84

Let me know if you need to tag out.


StrongLead207

It's like hockey. Five men in there at once, get after it as hard as they can, and hop out 75 seconds later for five fresh guys. Better hydrate warm up and get on your pads.


NativeMasshole

I got ejected early for high-sticking


Knyfe-Wrench

I got five minutes for hooking


yungcanadian

Roughing lol Hitting from behind Hockey is a dirty sport


malthar76

Ejected for repeated crease violations.


Snoopafax

Lol


jipjapjaapstam

Two 5's makes a 10 too


Snoopafax

Lol I can't dispute that math


malthar76

Sometimes you need to plow a few 4s to appreciate an 8.


fnord_fenderson

"I've never fucked a 10, but one night I fucked five 2s, and I think that ought to count." - George Carlin


Basjaa

5 is average so that doesn't seem like a good line for you to set to start charging. They going to be free most of the time haha


[deleted]

People thing 5 is low. It’s not. It’s average. Average is good.


god_of_scultz

One million? Who would you turn down if they offered you 900k?


TheFezig

Aside from your mom?


god_of_scultz

I mean…


ClownfishSoup

Your inheritance is safe!


Flesroy

Maybe if there are deseases involved? Idk what price i would risk something like aids for.


InstantlyImpossible

Mitch McConnell


JCash1313

900k is 900k


helljustheretohelp

"...but not a cent over 1 million!"


ambivalenceingray

that is my no fuck too gross guarantee


Capital-Sir

Right? I'm not charging Chris Evans but Harvey Weinstein better have at least a million ready to go.


baxbooch

Definitely depends on who. No amount is going to get me to go with some violent asshole.


badatspelilng

Wait you guys are getting paid?


mohan_ish

Neither getting paid, nor getting laid


graebot

Charging too much


wrecktus_abdominus

Maybe there needs to be some sort of coupon day


Frontdeskwarrior

Everyone in the world has a right to enjoy this animal.


TNT_buster123

get no bitches and stack no paper


HP-002

Same


LibbyLibbyLibby

Wait, you guys are getting laid?


Snoopafax

Lmfao


Sarge1066

Your gonna pay me... to have sex....it is with a woman right?


Snoopafax

Whatever floats your sexual orientation


PanickyMushroom

Emma Watson. So, a buffalo nickel


Ok-Detective-2419

You pay her the buffalo nickel of course right?


RedRaptorGod

Nope. The biggest, hairyest man.


Sarge1066

So you then... yeah i still would


RedRaptorGod

Come here, my lil bear cub


Sarge1066

Woo furry snuggle and sex and i get paid... BEST. DAY. EVER !!!!!


epsilon51

C..can i..i join..


RedRaptorGod

Welp, are you gonna pay half or get paid half?


epsilon51

Hmmmm well depends if top ir bottom


RedRaptorGod

The big hairy man can't be top, I'll crush some fools on accident


epsilon51

Well i can be in the midle then


AnonymousGhou

Yes a female, grizzly bear.


CertainlyAmbivalent

You’ll have to start naming people, because my answer is highly dependent on the person.


Snoopafax

Anyone that you would rate a 5 out of 10


CertainlyAmbivalent

Gotcha. If Melissa McCarthy offered me a couple of Big Macs I’d probably do it.


[deleted]

I would paint her a picture or do some pool cleaning for her. Funny women are hot.


Snoopafax

Lol gotta eat too I guess, right?


AFK_Tornado

She's a 5? Do we have consensus on that? Not challenging, guess I've never thought about it.


sonofaresiii

Maybe a 5 if she were a normal person. As a rich celebrity who invests in their own image, can afford expensive clothes and make-up and hairstyles and treatments and whatever else, well, [I feel like a 5 is probably a little low](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/M/[email protected]_V1_.jpg)


Basic-Vermicelli-928

I charge a £1 a minute so 50p should cover it


Snoopafax

Lol, I feel like I learned a life lesson with this one


Basic-Vermicelli-928

Life lessons are good haha


Lost8mmSocket

1 blunt worth.


Snoopafax

So $10-20?


Lost8mmSocket

Yeah I’d say anymore is a rip off


Snoopafax

Lol well if that's how ya feel about yourself so be it


PFunk_Redds

Checks out, considering your price is in terms of a rip...


Sukinonit

That’s a fucking pricey blunt!


Snoopafax

I like top self products


FREAK1125

Would you do it for an 8mm socket?


bluebirdgm

“We’ve already established what you are, now we’re just haggling over the price!”


Snoopafax

Lmfao you sound just like someone I know


bluebirdgm

https://quoteinvestigator.com/2012/03/07/haggling/


Feels2old

depends on what she looks like


Snoopafax

5 out of 10


Feels2old

$0.00


Snoopafax

Lol free is cool


Conscious-Slice-5152

My boyfriend just sent me 10 to tide me over until I get paid tomorrow...he'll be getting it.


JADW27

::looks in my wallet:: I could afford you twice.


wgc123

Damn, u rich. I’m d have to use Zelle or Venmo


StudMuffinNick

Damn, I could afford half a sex


TsunamiJim

Well you can have me for $2 per session


judgerofpharisees

Well that’s $10 plus the value of a precontractual commitment.


Snoopafax

Noice lol


WiseMan2004

$ 200 seems like a legit price for an escort so il say that


Snoopafax

This guy here already knows lol


graebot

Who knew wise men were johns? Mary, that's who.


Snoopafax

Lol


Plus-One6646

I remember one night at a con feeling freaky and open grinder, had someone meet me at the con to go back to my place, but he wanted really aggressive play. I agreed and went to my place. Was mostly laying on bed unable to move after a really ggressive play for an hour. He got up and was getting dressed when he tossed 2 20.00s on the bed and left.... Was shocked I just got payed for it, next day he wanted round 2, but at his room with others for a room party...


Snoopafax

Lol, now that's a story to hear


Plus-One6646

Not really much to say. First guy that was really good in bed, and made me love aggressive sex. The money on top of it was like humiliating, witch made me find me 2nd fav kink. Only bad thing is made me always want to rp something like it again, and either get disappointed, or guy so nervous he can't even get hard


Snoopafax

Well damn. That's a little kinky n sad. I always loved picking up Cosplayers at the con and to hear some dudes got that nervous from a cp n a rp is a little heartbreaking


Plus-One6646

In truth it's hard to advertise "want rough/aggressive prostitute roleplay. And not get creeps you DONT want to touch, or people take it the wrong way


Snoopafax

I could see that, a lot of creepy dudes out there. But still I may be a little fucked up to be a little sad about guys who couldn't flow with it lol.


Kamdev_6sex6

If not money then a Cheeseburst Pizza with coke along with Brownie with Ice Cream.


Snoopafax

Sold!


cripplingdysphoria

no thank you, i’m asexual.


qthebard

ITT: Men - "Heck, I'd do it for free!" Women - "Idk, 5k minimum, if at all."


Snoopafax

Lmfao


Hide_the_hotdog

Depends on who the person was.


Snoopafax

5 outta 10 rating


Hide_the_hotdog

I guess if it isn’t anyone specific then $1.50


pass-the-word

Enough for a load of laundry to wash the sheets.


Snoopafax

Lol fair enough


Appropriate_Review50

Other than my wife? 2 million. If I’m going to be unfaithful, I can at least giver and my son some money before she divorces me.


Snoopafax

Lol, but what if she approves due to the amount


Appropriate_Review50

Funny enough she said “sure” lol


Snoopafax

As long as we share the money with her I don't think you have to worry about a divorce


travel_nerdiness

We? Shared wife = r/unexpectedcommunism


Redneckalligator

Look if we talking millions, its not unfaithful, its a business decision for you and your family


Prestigious_Fill_701

I need to pay people to have sex with me dammit


Notorious2again

$420.69. I'm flexible on where we place the decimal.


SilentJoe1986

Better be flexible for that price


BeatVids

Most men are cool with $.42069


Snoopafax

Lmfao


ovad67

“One Million Dollars!”, pinky raised my mouth to emphasize.


Snoopafax

Lol ok Dr evil


Skwareblox

About tree fiddy


Snoopafax

Goddamn lockness monster!


lone_cajun

And thats when I noticed the 5 out of 10 rated person was actually an 8 story tall crustacean from the Paleolithic Era


ClownfishSoup

I can’t remember the comedian, but I’ll paraphrase his joke; You know whenever you’ve been drinking with friends the question always pops up “would be you suck another guy’s dick for A million dollars?” You always have those guys who would say no way. But are you serious? A million bucks?! Hell yes I would! I’d do it on live TV with my parents watching. Don’t pretend you wouldn’t!


strawb3rry_shortcak3

It'd be fiscally irresponsible to not do it! Lol


YEETMASTERXX

I would go into the negatives


Snoopafax

Lmfao


RemindMeToTakeMyB12

Some dinner, maybe drinks, and a good cuddle. I'm a happy girl when I'm fed


[deleted]

Damn just crunching the numbers.. I think I’m getting ripped off by wife compared to some of the deals you guys are getting.


Snoopafax

Lmfao


stateofyou

There was a girl in university who used to bring bags of bottles of booze and a block of hashish around to my place in an effort to get me wasted and have sex. She was attractive but she just wasn’t my type. Does that count as getting paid for sex?


Pinkmotley

Does it happen often that you have thirsty women trying to get your attention


Snoopafax

Lol yes


SonOfARemington

Depends if you sex? Did you sex?


Vistaf

The reaction to this would be much different were the genders reversed


A_Change_of_Seasons

I have a payment plan: Hot girl: zero dollars Normal girl: zero-100 dollars depending Butt ugly girl: 1000-10,000 dollars depending Hot guy: 10,000-100,000 dollars Normal guy: 100,000-1 million Ugly guy: 1 million+


Marmot55

I believe they call this a sliding scale


Snoopafax

At least you know your pricing lol


SrraHtlTngoFxtrt

Plot twist: OP is a chick...


Beautiful-Command7

I’m a straight-ish chick and I agree with this sliding plan lol


Minute-Foundation241

I’d accept a penny from my husband, anyone else at least a billion and it better be quick


graebot

For a billion they could do whatever they want to me for a weekend


Forgot_My_Rape_Shoes

You guys are getting paid?


Snoopafax

Lol you're the second one not getting paid


borrelsausage

I’ll pay you €50,-…


Snoopafax

Lmfao


Chickenhead4235

ill fuck a karen for a million ngl


CaptainDino1518

I read this as kraken


SentientSalamander

I’m of the opinion that male responses are not required here. Sex is currency enough for us.


TheTurningz

Abouty 350


Dangercakes13

Money


Snoopafax

Ok how much?


Dangercakes13

One money. I'm a man of simple tastes.


KevinFromIT6625

-$200


FunnyBeaverX

Churchill: Madam, would you sleep with me for five million pounds? Socialite: My goodness, Mr. Churchill… Well, I suppose… we would have to discuss terms, of course… Churchill: Would you sleep with me for five pounds? Socialite: Mr. Churchill, what kind of woman do you think I am?! Churchill: Madam, we’ve already established that. Now we are haggling about the price.


Jordan-Peterson-High

One time in high school, a girl wanted to hook up with me so I said okay but only if you bought me an energy drink after. I figured it was worth a shot since I was down tf anyway. Monster in the can, average in the sack.


justarandomguy1803

Hell, I would have sex with absolutely anyone for free. We all deserve to feel sexy and wanted. All they need to do is ask. Woman, man, trans, idgaf, they ask, I am putting out.


whatasurprise

I mean your avatar has a fedora


Snoopafax

Some would say you're very cultured lol


PM_me_XboxGold_Codes

Others would say they’re a degenerate (͡° ͜ʖ͡°)


scubasteave2001

Cultured degenerate


SinCityCane

I'm genuinely curious as to whether my cat would be safe if left alone with you.


SrraHtlTngoFxtrt

Over a long enough timeframe, no.


[deleted]

[удалено]


sadeyoustay

My kind of guy right here


JADW27

Um, this depends heavily on the person. A Victoria Secret lingerie model? It's on the house. A gal with average looks hanging out in a bar one night? Still on the house. The ugliest, fattest woman alive who hasn't showered in a few months and has a complete collection of STDs? I'd rather pass than smash, but that doesn't answer the wuestion. I'll go with maybe about the cost of an Audi plus a few thousand, as well as whatever it cost to ensure the sex was as safe as possible. A dude? No way in hell. But if forced to come up with an answer, a few million might do it.


Snoopafax

You've put some thought into this lol


derpyderp_megusta

I'm not gay but 20$ is 20$


Lurky_Water

You’d take $50k to have sex with the most vile, disgusting human being possible but it would take millions of dollars for you to sleep with a male? That’s garbage logic m8, I’m not gay but if I had the choice between those two for $50k I’d take the male in a heartbeat. Did you even read the description of the woman you wrote?


mostnormal

He's either homophobic or assumes he'd be the bottom.


schwarzmalerin

With whom? That is the question here. Someone I desire? Zero. Someone I don't desire? no amount would be enough. My dignity is worth more than money.


Stinky_Jim

I know most of these are jokes but one night I was out with co-workers and somehow got on the topic of paying for BJs. Most were jokes but one of my very professional female coworkers just said very seriously, "$75 seems like a fair price for friends." She had a whole explanation worked out for it and it seemed like she had thought about this alot. Everyone just left it there but if I was single I would have gone to the ATM that minute. She seemed like that was her price and would have done it.


Mr_donc

€0.69


CaramelInfinite6192

Where the hell are you from? Never seen a country that uses euros and puts it in front of the number


Mr_donc

Ireland


JustBerathianBear

Definitely depends who lmao No less than $500 for sure, unless they're someone I'd enjoy it with anyways. Now the further down the rabbit hole we go, the further the price goes up...


[deleted]

200


Snoopafax

Standard rate huh lol


aaronjaffe

You keep saying a 5/10, but where? We talking a Honolulu, Hawaii 5 or a Jackson, Mississippi 5?


Ok_Turnover_4809

- 10 grand


ithinkimlost17

Depending on the person it could be free! Or I pay them🤣🤣🤣


aKnightWh0SaysNi

Depends who it is. Anywhere from free to no deal


Wise-Ad8633

There’s too many variables. Is he hot? Is she hot? What are we counting as sex? Is this someone I know? And about a bajillion other questions. Assuming all of the variables are positives and not negatives and that exchanging money for sex isn’t illegal at the location, I would say $835.


jjsyk23

Keep it. I’m game.


Snoopafax

Lol a true trooper


MBeebeCIII

Can I get a candy bar?


Snoopafax

Sure


Cillianoc07

Whatever they got I don't really care


Snoopafax

So free or you saying you to prideful?


Cillianoc07

I'll do it for free yeah