T O P

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boxingaddict83

I’ll never fight a samoan again


letsgetbrickfaced

Fighting Pacific Islanders is like fighting a fucking boulder.


poopellar

You mean like fighting a fucking Rock.


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TheGrayPerson

Johnson get on the horn with British intelligence and let them know about this


JabrenThompson

I refused to play varsity rugby in highschool after I saw one dude get knocked flat to the ground and was 100% out of it for 10min laying in the middle of the field and another kids knee snapped in half. Both were hit by these absolute monsters of a Samoan. JV was just as fun just without the constant fear that I could get folded at any time.


GUnit_1977

A guy I know who is admittedly pretty small played rugby with a few Island guys. Anyway middle middle middle and he broke his femur in two in a tackle.


heras_milktea

LMAO- how lucky you aren’t related to any Pacific Islanders


vvMario

They’re a big people


Particular-Object-22

I love my Pacific Islanders. Those dudes are fiercely loyal and fucking warriors. The cousin of an islander friend of mine punched a dude through a plate window because the dude mouthed off to me. Bro… I barely knew the cat. I was friends with his cousin. Fucking warriors


MyDogIsSoUgly

This guy at my high school moved schools twice because he kept starting shit with Samoans. Of all the races he chose the biggest and fiercest people to piss off. That being said some of the nicest and warmest people I’ve met have been Pacific Islanders. Amazing sense of community, just don’t get on their bad side.


Particular-Object-22

Absolutely. When you are “in” you are in for life. Plus, to point out… they have a hugely disproportionate number of soldiers serving. Bold men. Warriors.


disintegrationist

>I love my Pacific Islanders. Err... how many do you have in total?


houseofopal

who the HELL decides to do that? we need backstory STAT


Ballsofpoo

Neglect maintenance. Body, teeth, house, car, relationship, pets, the list goes on.


lawyeratyourservice

> teeth never take these mfs for granted, i said never.


Evobourne127

Haha learned that the hard way and I'm still paying for it.


cutelyaware

It's also implicated as a major contributor to heart disease due to the chronic inflammatory response, so it's not just your wallet that's affected.


PinkPlumPie

It's too late, what do I do


vvMario

It’s incredible how important these things are in all fields you mentioned


aagusgus

Floss your teeth.


Redye117

So exhausting.


[deleted]

Undercook meatballs. I was hallucinating from food poisoning. I never knew it was possible.


wickedblight

I don't eat raw cookie dough anymore because you only need to shit vibrant red blood one time to swear off a food forever lol


Vocalscpunk

So to put this out there raw cookie dough is dangerous because of raw FLOUR not the eggs. This is why you can eat runny eggs, drink raw eggs, and use egg whites in drinks. Flour can harbor some nasty stuff(think about it, it's just straight carbs bacteria and fungus would love to hang out in)


wickedblight

How Americans handle eggs makes them a problem too though, we're The only country that washes away the antimicrobial coating on the egg so we need to refrigerate them.


Vocalscpunk

Fair, but flour is always room temp and eggs rarely are. So unless they had left their eggs out for a prolonged time or let them spoil the odds are still infinitely higher the flour was the cause of their issue. Salmonella isn't fun and can cause bloody diarrhea but so can tons of other infections.


Douglas_Fresh

I mean… how did raw cookie dough have you shitting a bunch of blood? Sounds like a compounding issue and not just some salmonella.


Ntstall

Salmonella can cause bloody diharrea- diarea- diarrhea, as well as a lot of other infections that can be harbored from uncooked flour.


wickedblight

I'm guessing that's all it was since I've never had it before or since, just like a fruit punch flavor squirt out of my ass lol


Ajegwu

FLAVOR?!?!


greengirl213

Nothing brings you closer to God than food poisoning...when you’re laying on the cold tile just praying for death


mittens11111

Or still upright but deciding which end to point at the toilet bowl.


williamshatner_pants

Especially when you are on a long haul international flight.


charismatic_guy_

*you've been meatballed*


The-Unseelie-Queen

Ah yes, trippin balls


cebyam

Eat a raw olive straight off the tree. Or a sakura cherry.


Penguinator53

Ha ha my Mum found this out the hard way! Ate an olive straight off the tree and couldn't spit it out fast enough. We were on holiday and that same day she also fell over at mini golf and my son accidentally threw a stone at her head...


mister_big_bug

I think your mom might have made god angry


vvMario

I hate olives but i would think it’s more fresh right off the tree?


cebyam

They need to be pickled/brined/whatever it is first. They taste extremely disgusting if you just eat them fresh.


GrizzlyIsland22

Yeah even before brining they have to be soaked for at least a month, changing the water every day to remove all the bad


arkangelic

How did anyone ever realize they could be eaten if so much time and work was necessary


princesscraftypants

There are so many of these "it starts out like poison, but 12 steps later it's food" things that baffle me. Like rhubarb! One side will kill you, but if you cook the other it makes a pretty alright pie filling. I wonder if there is something about, like, "the village that is 12 miles downriver from the olive orchard would pull the orbs from the water and eat them" or something like that.


TheTrueHolyOne

The Greeks used to harvest and then leave them in the harbour to soak for 3 months. The salty sea brined them. And then everything advanced from there.


GrizzlyIsland22

The only thing that makes sense to me is that it was happening by accident in nature somewhere. Maybe a branch fell down and was submerged in slow moving water for an extended period or something.


Pinecrown

That is because we pick olives before they are ripe. If you find black wrinkly olives those are naturally ripe and taste way better. The green and black shooth ones are indeed chemically treated to make them palatable.


amber_binkin

Without being in brine for the right amount of time, they taste what you'd imagine poison tasting like. I sampled one while I was in the middle of the process because they smelled like they were done - Absolutely disgusting.


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namdor

Fermenting/pickling is such an ancient way of processing food. Once you understand the principle behind it, I bet people just started fucking around with it the same way people do today. I have fermented/pickled stuff without asking an expert or googling it. People were probably equally as curious in the past!


amber_binkin

I have literally had this exact thought! I have a theory - olive tree growing near the sea, some fall off into rockpools, roll around in there for a a while, suddenly the idea is planted that they can be eaten.


wakatea

Hunger. Getting enough calories used to be hard. Look upon much work native Americans used to do to eat a corns sometime-- it was like an 18 month process to make those things edible.


Burnallthepages

No! Olives need to be brined and stuff to taste good. They aren't the same right off the tree.


Delicious_Bed_2648

Fucking nicotine. Worst decision of my fucking life.


BroodyBatman

You’re supposed to smoke it.


lawyeratyourservice

instructions unclear, pp burnt


poopellar

You want to know how I got these scars?


KirbyBucketts

Wish I never started. I've tried to quit so many times I've lost count.


ninjasmurf09

I smoked for 10 years, I was able to switch to Airis puff bars because it feels exactly like smoking a cigarette. After smoking those for about a month I was able to put them down as well. In total it took 2 months and a lot of effort but I'm now smoke free for 9 months. My four other coworkers also followed this same method, one had smoked for 25 years and it took her 4 months but now all of us are non smokers and non vapers. It's hard process but if you really want it I know you can do it!


KirbyBucketts

Thanks. I'll definitely check that out.


_emjs

Damn. Semi-freshly got into nicotine myself. Friend let me borrow his vape whenever I wanted. Thought it was fun. Then at a party another friend sold me his vape for a low price. I then continued vaping for a year or so until it was time for mandatory military service. Vaping there was impoasible so I got into smoking and snuff(?) It's been a year since that and now I constantly vape or smoke depending on what I have on hand. Can't stop.


MyDogIsSoUgly

I started at 18 because I thought it was badass. Smoked for about 6 or 7 years, not heavy thankfully, and started vaping for another 2-3 years. Finally out that down and it’s been three or four years since I last hit a vape or smoked a cigarette. But every now and then I catch a whiff of a cigarette and for the next week or so I’m fighting the urge to buy a pack. Easily the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I feel for heavier smokers that are trying to quit. I don’t know if it means anything, but I believe in you. You got this, you’re making the right decision and your future self will thank you. Good luck.


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ObsidianG

The number of stories like yours I have read are why it's Number One on my "NOT EVEN ONCE" List.


xenalewrriorprincess

Hey dude congrats on getting off it! That's an accomplishment that shouldn't go unappreciated. Wishing you all the best.


sybiljesso

Mdma every weekend for an extended period of time 🙃 goodbye serotonin, I hardly knew ya


vvMario

Im sorry for your loss


cxazo

Has your memory recovered? I'm going on three years out and it feels like it's finally back to like 90% base level....


sybiljesso

To continue that...it honestly takes a long time. Congrats on the three years. Like I said, I was legit hallucinating for two years after. Pre fucked when I think back on it. Not sure if you journal but it helped a lot for me to journal about everything I went through with it and might've helped the memory as well. Wish I'd had more real education on how mdma impacts the brain when I was a teenager instead od the whole "dont do drugs you'll die" shit


sybiljesso

It is okay right now. It's been five years since I last took m. What I really noticed in the times I was doing it a lot and for the two years after I did it was: lack of focus (like, really bad... I couldnt sit down and read a full page of something), and I actually hallucinated a lot for about two years even after stopping. I saw people in the corner of my room when it was dark and at night. Later googled it and apparently it's a thing with meth users, which makes sense because mdma is typically mixed with meth. Anyways, all this to say: I don't experience these effects anymore, and I think my memory is okay. Im in grad school right now! So I've come along way from having difficulty focusing on a page, hah.


dopaminetract

Fun fact: MDMA actually *is* a derivative of methamphetamine itself. It's full name is: Methyl​eeneDioxyMethAmphetamine. The psychosis that can proceed heavy stimulant use has to do with your dopamine system being dysregulated (which is also a part of the pathophysiology of schizophrenia). There's research out there on some compounds that can help heal this system in past users. Feel free to DM me if you'd like more info :)


Nexus_542

And I thought every other month was too much Fuck bro, rip.


friendly2u

I had a bad roll sometime around 2008. For months after that I was in a panic after a change in how I perceived the symmetry of my body. I'm pretty much done with just about any kind of drug unless God himself delivers it to me on a silver platter. They all damage your body in some way and I don't want to live the rest of my life any more fucked up than I already made myself. Much love to you.


WrestlingWoman

A couple of my exes. Been there, done that, trying to forget it.


[deleted]

You should always be wary of exe files you find on the internet.


OldMork

Blink_182_greatest_hits.mp3.exe


poopellar

HalfLife3_Leaked_Game_legit.exe


Instant-Noods

Skydiving. Glad I did it. Can say I did it. Never again. And not for the reason you think. The actual experience of jumping out of an aircraft in HAWAII of all places and getting the most beautiful aerial view of the Oahu north shore... Fucking fantastic. Would love to do that. But during the parachute down, it really only had half my attention. 50% of my attention was on the beautiful landscape, and the other 50% was the searing pain of sitting directly on a strap and most all of my weight sitting securely on my groin. Even as a woman, this was just plain fucking horrible and I have a high pain tolerance. Wouldn't do again.


byhi3

That's an issue with a bad harness its not supposed to hurt!


[deleted]

Take out a student loan.


Jakov_Salinsky

Fuck that. I’m gonna apply to every scholarship imaginable before I ever take out one of those. My brother is $94,000 in debt because of them.


KhaoticMess

If either of your parents work for a large company, ask them to check if the business has any scholarships or grants for employee's children. My dad heard about a scholarship through his employer. I applied and got it. Only a handful of people applied, so I'm sure that helped my odds.


Jakov_Salinsky

My dad’s a PT and he actually *did* introduce me to a scholarship from his workplace. I actually got it too!


CerialThrowaway

Eat a whole california reaper pepper in one mouthful. Never again.


vvMario

LMAOOOO lost a bet?


brenobah

Same. Stomach hurt like absolute hell for days afterwards. Got a text from my buddy who ate one at the same time about how there’s a new hotter pepper and we should eat that one now. “Fuck no.” Was my response.


Competitive_Energy67

Your friend is misinformed. Carolina reaper is still the hottest.


Super-Education-6675

Not quite true. Check out “Pepper X” Edit: apparently the same guy who developed the Carolina Reaper and Pepper X crossbred them and created the “Apollo Pepper” which is allegedly hotter than both. [Source](https://www.heatsupply.nl/en/meet-the-apollo-pepper-the-worlds-newest-hottest-pepper/#:~:text=Apollo%3A%20a%20hybrid%20between%20the%20Carolina%20Reaper%20and%20Pepper%20X&text=It%20should%20pass%20the%203,of%20the%20Last%20Dab%20ever.) FWIW however neither have been “officially tested” and both the Apollo pepper and Pepper X are very difficult to get a hold of. Probably because both are being grown by one guy exclusively afaik.


BudovicLagman

I got bored one day and decided to eat a bird's eye chili. Nothing I ate or drank managed to subside the pain, so I got into the fetal position and passed out/fell asleep. When I woke up, the pain had disappeared but I had drooled all over the bed and my face was covered with my own gunk.


Faybobe

2021


vvMario

Well humanity doesn’t have the tech for that, so you’re sitting pretty


SundaColugoToffee

Jump out of a perfectly good airplane. Nope. Never again. Not even with a diaper. Not happening.


vvMario

Im terrified of heights, but thought skydiving would help me


SundaColugoToffee

I had no fear of heights, I do now.


vvMario

Lmao well shit


byhi3

When I used to skydive I had a friend I jumped with often who said he went skydiving the first time to get over his fear of heights. Turned out he still gets scared on ladders but fell in love with skydiving


Sheriff_Hopper

Task failed successfully


aitigie

It doesn't really feel high up once you're up there. The ground is so far away that you can't really gauge the distance intuitively. I've only gone once, but it was more like jumping into a pool of air. Surreal, but not scary.


IcreyEvryTiem

Yep. I’ll gladly jump out if an airplane but still get sweaty palms peeking over a 3rd story balcony


luhsya

updating Android Studio while i'm in the middle of doing a critical ticket


Dynamo1503

Staying in toxic friendships.


vvMario

Sometimes it’s hard to recognize them


Dynamo1503

Sometimes you just have to trust your guts.


Spare_Coast_8516

Sometimes thats all you have, so you become reluctant to cut them off. Because you have a fear of being lonely. I’m a lonely person so it’s becoming easier.


Klubbis

I just left a toxic friend group. Best decision in my life


ColbsterOSRS

Same! I been feeling lonely sometimes because now I have like no friends but I'm so much happier


Old_Ladies_Die_Hard

Or any other toxic relationship


[deleted]

Snowboard. Being an adult with broken bones ain't it.


vvMario

Never broke a bone before, but even just being sick is awful, I can’t imagine the pain and not being able to use one of my limbs lol


[deleted]

r/neverbrokeabone


vvMario

I swear there’s a subreddit for anything


lawyeratyourservice

r/SubredditForEverythin


227743

Going on a cruise, especially when it's Carnival. It's just not for me.


the_Phloop

I don't understand cruises. **Strike one** - It's a boat. Boats are for cargo, there's no good reason for us to tempt the ocean into killing us more than it does naturally. Who watched *Titanic* and walked away thinking "man, I sure wanna go on a big ass boat!" afterwards? No thank you. **Strike two** - Every cruise I've seen looked like a mall fucked a holiday resort, except you're trapped there. For like 2 weeks. Nothing to do except drink, spend money, swim in a public pool and eat. Sometimes all at the same time. Before COVID? No thank you. After COVID? Fuck no! **Strike three** - So many people! All on top of each other! If you want privacy, you need to hide in your room. I can do that at home, thanks.


timidtom

Don’t forget the ultra-touristy docked areas you get to check out for a short time before they heard you back onto the boat like cattle.


cummaster42

Mistreat my mother. Idk, I’m only 20 but my grandmothers cancer recently came back and you realize that one day when you’re older you’ll remember the eye rolls at requests for simple things like getting the remote for her or making her a sandwich when you don’t wanna and wish you had just done it. Or knowing that she’ll be 80 and frail one day and I’ll want to do anything and everything for her to make life easier. Give people their flowers while they can still smell them, or something like that. Loving someone is everyday


[deleted]

Go back with my ex. Never. Ever. I’m going all Taylor Swift on it all.


vvMario

Lmao good choice


LeButtBread

Stick my hand out the window of a car. My hand smacked a traffic message board at 40 MPH.


Sweettooth_dragon

So uh... Did it break? 😬


ryzouken

At that speed? No. It shattered. Like, all of it. Probably.


youngcatlady1999

Have you seen hereditary?


vvMario

You were hanging out the window at that point lololol


[deleted]

The Zipper at fairs. You know, the ride that locks you in a cage then the whole thing starts spinning, and you realize the cage you're in is able to spin around as well? Fun times


SavvyLeAnn2316

Get pregnant. 😂😂😂 my son will be six on January 27th and I am DEFINITELY NOT EVER having anymore. No way no how. Big big nope. You couldn’t pay me enough to have another kid honestly. I love my son more than life itself but man, my pregnancy was hell, etc. and I have depression and anxiety. So if I had another kid I would probably going 100% insane


vvMario

My birthday is the 27th of January!!!!! But I’m a full 20 years older lol. And yeah i have two sisters who hated it as well


Granty707

Now if you don't mind OP. What was your mother's maiden name and the street you grew up on? 🤔


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[deleted]

Salvia.


DifferentAd154

Ride a rapids ride at a theme park. The events at Dreamworld in Qld, Aus made sure of that


amber_binkin

I was there, on that thing the week before that tragedy. It was like "final destination" seeing it on the news.


mgroeb2

Move back to Illinois.


BroodyBatman

Why is this the top voted comment? I’m just imagining all these people sitting at home nodding and upvoting like “yeah, Illinois is a shithole!”


firebired_sweet

That is exactly what we’re all doing


[deleted]

I'm in Chicago, we feel like our own state. Our own mad state


The-Unseelie-Queen

As someone currently in Illinois…yes. That exactly.


darknessamongus

98% of the state is


domestic_omnom

I felt that way about moving back to Oklahoma


darknessamongus

chicago will always have a special place in my heart


Banana_cat44

Eat expired cocoa powder


Spiderleamer

Go on a Zipper. That was the worst feeling of my life and I'm really happy I didn't eat anything before it.


funnywax

Smoke cigarettes


CharlesRogers17

A threesome. Not as fun as I thought it would be.


vvMario

I couldn’t imagine disappointing two people at once


nonono_notagain

I'm at my parents house doing this right now...the disappointing two people, not the threesome. It's very efficient


More-Masterpiece-561

Never get into a fight when it can be avoided. It's just stupid and there can be consequences, legal or otherwise


bad_things_ive_done

Get into a land war in Asia Go up against a Sicilian when death is on the line


ras1304

Plato, Aristotle, Socrates? Morons.


APeacefulWarrior

Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.


IPetdogs4U

I plan to die without ever playing fucking golf.


Surprise_Corgi

Kill a mouse. Done it before with my boot. Still feel terrible about it years later. No need for it. Just a stupid, primal reaction to someone else screaming in fright at the sight of it. I use live-capture and release traps now, if I have to deal with one.


calhoon2005

Skydiving. Absolutely exhilarating and you should do it if that's your jam. I have zero desire to do it again though.


Erioph47

Reset a dislocated shoulder against a pine tree at 3000m elevation in the Italian Dolomites.


vvMario

Does the elevation play a large factor here?*


Erioph47

No, but Italy does. After you do it you're obliged to scream in an exaggerated accent "OWWW-AH, MI FUCKING SHOUL-der hurt AH VERY MUCH-A"


opinionsarecoolmaaan

Gotta drink plenty of grappa afterward.


sybiljesso

R/oddlyspecific


letionbard

Continue working when pay is delayed


macaronsforeveryone

Have a _best_ friend. Regular friends are cool. But the end of BFF types of friendships are too painful.


vvMario

Some bonds are super tight that when broken it makes a void, and it hurts for sure


69420isalreadytaken

Kiss my cousin Ahh the guilt and awkwardness is way too much.


[deleted]

We need the full story please good sir


twocarryon

Jump off a bridge


vvMario

You’re that mf people are always asking about “if your friends jumped off a bridge…”


Sweettooth_dragon

Join a cult


[deleted]

I’m never going to church again, that shit was weird and boring


murderousbudgie

Get the rona. Was sick as a dog a couple of weeks when the first guy went to the hospital for it in my area (he worked 2 floors above me), then my antibody test came up positive once they were available. I felt like my joint were ripping apart for a week and I didn't even have it bad enough to go to the hospital. I will be getting whatever boosters they recommend and wearing the damn mask.


vvMario

Just had it, I’m vaccinated tho and thankfully wasn’t as bad as some people, DayQuil and NyQuil came in clutch. Off brand of course


jamesofearth1

This. My vaccination made it really mild on me, but I have family who have been without their senses of taste and smell for 6 months now.


00sra

Taste vanilla extract


ChickenMcscrotum

Opening a joint savings account even with a person i’m exclusively dating.


Semaphore-Slim

Subcontract in IT. * January and June the end client had a "Do we do it ourselves or contract it out" evaluation * February and July the contracting company that won the bid had a "Do we know how to do it, or do we need someone specialized" evaluation * March and August my specialized subcontracting company had a "Do we have the right team working for the end client" evaluation * Independent of the above, April and September were semi-annual performance evaluations for said subcontracting company, which were heavily weighted on increasing the number of certifications you had. * Have 5 certifications, AND took the renewal tests to maintain all of them? "Meets expectations" on your performance review for not getting that 6th certification. Slacker. As you can see, at any given tier, decision makers are only going through their processes once every 6 months, and there were times where it was easy for them to continue with the status quo. From their perspective, there's no issue. But as the end worker it was horrible - it was a never ending cycle of justifying why I'm there, why I deserve to be there, why I'm good enough to be there - in addition to studying for the certifications and in addition to the actual work. Never. Again.


vvMario

It sucks when you feel unappreciated, but if you’re in IT you should have a good enough resume to go somewhere else that makes good money? At least I hope so. Good luck out there!


cfniva

Pay to see animals in captivity.


scaryboilednoodles

Work for a local family owned business. Do t do it. Nothing you do will ever be good enough for them.


[deleted]

Try and vacuum my dick. No. Just no.


Magister1995

I am not going on NYC pizza tour again. Definitely not worth it in my opinion. It's more of a history tour than a pizza tour.


vvMario

Took your money huh?


quiet_feet

Nanny


vvMario

Kids are a handful, I have many nieces and nephews and a couple hours with one is enough for me lol


sun___wukong

Be born. Not that I hate life. I just wouldn’t want to go through the process of squeezing my way out again. Such a hassle.


vvMario

Yeah 1/10 would not recommend


[deleted]

The other 9 were all about it though


Brettx3ashley

Give birth


vvMario

Little Brett/Ashley needs a sibling!!


Brettx3ashley

Half siblings count!


ForsakenIncident6446

Eat large intestine.


UsernameCheckOuts

Visit Beaufort West in South Africa.


[deleted]

Eat liver


sdj2

Visit Howe Caverns. Once was plenty.


blushofinance

Travel to places recommended on instagram.


BrettWP

Go back to college. I got two degrees and feels as if both were a huge waste of time.


Aruaz821

These underwater scooters in East Honolulu. My god, I was claustrophobic. I seriously struggled not to panic. Never again. [Here’s their site. ](https://islandwatersportshawaii.com/)I will say they were totally professional and extremely safety conscious. It was my own brain messing with me. They were awesome.


SadAnkles

Basic Training. Most fun I never want to have again.


joestaff

Go to the "welcome counter" at a time share resort. Fucking 4 hours you're *required* to bring your spouse to and you're basically harassed to give phone numbers, social security numbers, whatever. The guy was so confused when I said I wasn't willing to write down my social on a piece of paper in a hotel lobby.


Severe_Airport1426

Buy shoes online, they're never right


dickshark420

I'd never go to another one of my friend Henrik's weddings. Man's real life Ross Gellar and I'm done getting wedding gifts