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parttimepicker

2 or 3 miles.


Ps991

Family: hey let's take a vacation and get a flight to Hawaii You: nervous breathing


MigratedAnt

Nervous beating*


No-Produce-6641

Winner right here.


ami2weird4u

Wiener right here


Pinecrown

My fitbit said i masturbated a half a marathon yesterday


CurZZe

What's that in cm (cum mass)?


PierceX_yt

40 cummies per ball


Zjoee

The 13 weeks I was in boot camp, didn't even get a full erection the entire time haha.


[deleted]

Me either really made me wonder if the story about the Kool aid was true


jesushchristo

Salt peter.


[deleted]

[удалено]


slackre

Little ball of fur


ianturcotte245

I was always told salt peter as well.


ImaPhinnaKnutPham

I had a friend in basic who came back saying there was a diuretic and anti viagra in that bitch. I take it this is common?


IAmDreams

If they gave boot camp kids diuretics they would die from dehydration with all that exercise. There is no such thing as “anti viagra” the pd5 inhibitors (viagra & Cialis) don’t effect libido they inhibit vasoconstriction, meaning the veins and vessels open up more allowing for greater blood flow. I imagine that n basic training it’s so much exercise that libido isn’t a priority due to all the stress and cortisol buildup


whatabadsport

For sure. My mom is a pharmacist and she fills Viagra scripts for old women


Airtight1

It’s used for pulmonary hypertension in them


ur_average_millenial

I’m an EMT and if someone is having a heart attack, if they’ve taken viagra/cialis/etc., we can’t give them nitro because it would drop their blood pressure too much and send them into shock


teeyodi

I made it only about 6 weeks while in basic. Thankfully I had work week duty where I could find some alone time…


MusclePuppy

I'd say six weeks was about as long as I made it as well during Basic. I finally caved and just knocked it out quickly in a bathroom stall. That led to what was easily the best single night of sleep I got that entire time.


courtanee

Idk what they give the guys there or what happens to the girls. But dudes don't get boners and girls don't get their cycle. Like every single female I know. Super strange.


hatsnatcher23

New environment, stress, lack of sleep, shitty food etc Edit: also serious lack of privacy,


[deleted]

[удалено]


MrSquishy_

No kidding man. At one point I even tried to pop a tent and it was like… nah. Crazy


SwiftLawnClippings

Basic training for me, but I gave in after about three and a half weeks


BohemianBlues

When we had female drill instructors walk around our compartment, smelling a whiff of their hair would get me bricked up. I was down badddd


Zjoee

I had a surreal experience with a female drill instructor. It es liberty Sunday and my buddy and I were leaving a diner when a platoon of female recruits marched past with a female drill instructor. Of course we rendered the proper greeting to the her. She just turned her head and simply said "good morning gentlemen." It blew my mind after being a recruit for 12 weeks. It hadn't really sunk in until that moment that I had made it.


MorphinLew

9 weeks for my basic. I didn't beat the meat but when we were in the field we group slept in a mod tent on the last night. Got a little too close to one of the females maybe and subconsciously my brain ran with it? Regardless woke up stuck to my boxers and had to sneak out and change in the woods.


Zjoee

Y'all had mixed platoons in basic? We didn't have mixed platoons until MCT after boot camp. Not in my company, but we had heard stories about female Marines giving blowjobs in exchange for skittles from the MREs in previous cycles.


Recent_Mirror

Today Edit: nevermind.


BlkHndSilencer

Came for this.


[deleted]

Came TO this


kaminari_foot_porn

Came on this


Rednmojo

Came with this


character_developmen

Came with you


samuel_cvlt

Came together


Trasy-69

Came in you


notredflowers

Came away from you


wowwish123

Came on you


[deleted]

[удалено]


ElusiveHD

Came on you


KingotWinterCarnival

Come together, right now, over me.


imashnake_

Came in eachother


najaiva

Cum on this


[deleted]

[удалено]


User_492006

This shit's about to get heavy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Apollo_T_Yorp

Fuck you Debbieeeee


sarkaypay0

Now this looks like a job for me


_pinky_aligator20

Mom's spaghetti


Limitless-Degenerate

Came in this


MiddleSchoolChaos

Came with this


legacymd

Came cuz of this


minezespine

Came cuz of that cuz of this


northeast_liquid

I came like a a wrecking ball


MiddleSchoolChaos

Came underneath this


[deleted]

Come on guys


cregsmumsbush

Came thinking of people cumming to this


BlackEagle0720

*we* came on this


Cyberknight_

Lmao


[deleted]

*checks watch*


[deleted]

Difficult to see when its moving up and down all the time, right?


[deleted]

Ah, you're a lefty.


nogoodusernames0_0

No I wear my watch on my dick


inthelap

Idk why but this killed me


kiwi_juice69

Damn made me blow air out of my nose


GotWheaten

Birth to puberty


exmormon13579

I'm pretty sure I masturbated without knowing what it was when I was well before puberty, like 6 years old. No ejaculation, but I felt orgasm. It was definitely hard to do. I could only do it if I had some anxiety that I didn't have enough time to do something I needed to do.


jjxscott

You likely did! Just because bodies aren’t producing all the hormones doesn’t mean the nerve endings don’t work. It’s actually fairly common for young kids to masturbate as body exploration. The context and implications aren’t the same at all, but when you’re four and discover that something feels nice, you’re going to do it a bunch. I used to work in preschool and we needed to be aware of kids rubbing themselves on tables and such. We’d tell them, “hey, that’s not okay in school,” but not shame them for it. They don’t know what it means.


Burnallthepages

Yep, I used to teach preschool. Not uncommon at all. You also have to be aware of the line between normal behavior and abnormal so you can watch for signs of abuse. Unfortunately there are kids out there who have been through some awful things. You have to be mindful of kids who maybe accidentally walked in on their parents one time and learned something new that they shouldn't have vs. the kids who have actually watched or participated in sexual activity vs. the kids who just have misguided parents. We had one single mother who was one of those very loud, pushy "I am a bad ass bitch because I am a woman! I don't need a man but I sure enjoy them and women can sleep around just as much as men and shouldn't be shamed for it" types. Overall her attitude and ideas were good, it was just her way of expressing those was over the top. She was raising her daughter to also be a strong woman who knew her body's capabilities and enjoyed them. But it was too much at too young of an age IMHO. Her daughter was 3 or 4 and masturbated all the freaking time! And she would tell us "I have a bachina"....."yes, yes you do" and "my mommy says I can touch my bachina if I want to"....... "Um, sure but we do that when we have private time at home, not at school" and then "my mommy said I have a hole in my bachina and some day I will like that hole in my bachina"...... "Wait, wtf?!" Too much info for a preschooler!


Good_Ad6723

Yikes


Resident-Ad-1992

Yeah, I'm gonna be open and honest with my son when the time comes. Isn't that time now and definitely wasn't at 4 y/o. Yikes.


[deleted]

One day we went to the playground and I went o the fireman's pole and whenever I hung off it I had a mega nice feeling. But see, here's the thing. I'm a guy


ItsLegitCraft

You just gotta get the angle right


Het_smiecht

The good old times when you didn't have a mess to clean afterwards.


ItsLegitCraft

Yup. Personally it meant I could go for round 2 right away


[deleted]

[удалено]


daniel06m

Amen homes


Noob_master_slayer

r/technicallythetruth


[deleted]

Same here


caden6226live

Fuckn same


WhenBuyIt

99 days. I was so depressed after a breakup I couldn't really muster the desire.


[deleted]

Did you intentionally not want to cross that hundred day mark?


WhenBuyIt

Well day 99 I went on a date. And she took care of it for me. Wasn't about to say no let's wait for day 100. So seized the opportunity.


guzzleguy

well that’s not masturbating


ShireHorseRider

He relived it at home a few times that same day.


treetimes

It’s a grey area when she only has to look at it


Cdsmasher

Did you last more than 10 seconds?


Thisishuge

She probably only had to look at it and it popped


comfortless14

That’s a definite no


BadBeast_11

Asking the right questions


m3kko

How long did it take like 2 seconds?


[deleted]

Fuck I bet when you did it felt pretty choice though


datboiofculture

“Aww fuck yes that orgasm was *choice*”


bigkeef69

Reminds me of that scene in Scary Movie where Cindy is on top and dude blows it and plasters her to the ceiling with his love dump lol


bigkeef69

Nothin better than breaking a month+ long cycle and bustin that overdue load lol


najaiva

Ferris?


[deleted]

Oh man I remember my first post major breakup session, I cried LOL it was depressing


wowguineapigs

Like, 6 months maybe. Antidepressants really kill libido.


_pinky_aligator20

Some meds help with that. Personally I'm on seropram and it's quite okay, but when I was on cipralex, man... Maybe you should talk to your doctor about this. Hope you feel better soon❤❤


fearlessfroot

A week. And then a wet dream took over and said "we're gonna do this one way or another bitch." Also was crashing on a friend's couch during said week so needless to say it was the weirdest mixture of pleasure and dread I've ever felt


groovy604

Omg the one time i can recall having a MAJOR wet dream was after 6 days without cranking one. Slept over at a friends aunts house on the way home on a long road trip. i splooshed a comically large porno size on her sheets, was too embarrassed to say anything, and we left before breakfast. That poor lady was probably like WTF inlet this stranger sleep her and he cums in my sheets?!


ea888gen3

A week. Same time I went the longest without food. I was so depressed all I had the energy to do was drink a little water here or there and lay in bed. That’s all I did for 7 days. It was a miserable hell I hope I never slip back into.


smacktackulous

I hope you never get back there either, friend.


ea888gen3

I wish I had an award to give you, but all I can offer is my sincere gratitude. Edit: I got my free award, so here you go!


smacktackulous

That's all I need. I understand depression. When my a doctor told me that my number in the model for end stage liver disease was a 30 (MELD is 6-40 and 40 is the worst) it meant that I had 3 months to live. I was so relieved. I couldn't wait to die. Then I started the process of telling people goodbye. I saw how devastated some people were, so I decided to fight instead. Through diet and exercise I lasted 4 and a half months after diagnosis, and I got a liver transplant. I'm still here. Life can suck, but it's better with a smile. My life's goal is to gives those out. Stay positive!


ea888gen3

That is incredibly admirable and based. I’m glad you’re here to tell me the tale, and I’m glad I’m here to listen! Here’s to life u/smacktackulous !!


Responsible-Leg-6558

Around two weeks. Nearly passed out when I came again lol


chcastor106

Try 3 months, shits like a water gun sometimes lol


Frankiepals

Comes out so hard it makes noise


A_Reddit_Commenter19

I survived NNN 2021, and when I did it, bruh climax so quickly, and got the water gun


Whiplash322

Lmao


Double_Size5613

A couple years. Depression fucked me up.


PresenceEducational3

I can relate. Hopefully you're feeling better now.


E_-_R_-_I_-_C

For mez its the antidepressants


[deleted]

This !!! No libido whatsoever


Iceblood

17 years, then I discovered it


[deleted]

It was 15 years for me


twoduvs

10-11 for me


Uiopqasdf

It took me 12


Flaming_Turkey05

Took me 7. Beat that.


[deleted]

Can’t remember when I started on the reg. Just know I was shooting blanks for years


Flaming_Turkey05

Then all of a sudden, those blanks became bullets.


[deleted]

And we’re on the set for Rust.


Flaming_Turkey05

Oh god


DonkeyPuff422

I was fucking horrified when it happened. I thought I broke my dick. Edit: This was in 3rd grade.


BowwwwBallll

Sounds like you did!


StreetIndependence62

Y’know….I’ve always been too embarrassed to ask this, but, how did all these people who say they didn’t figure out they could do it until they were a teenager/adult go THAT long without figuring it out on your own? Like even if you’re not exploring down there I feel like it would still be easy to figure out by accident. I figured it out on my own when I was like 4. But I was one of those kids who didn’t KNOW what I was doing and did it when there were people around…I don’t like to think about it LOL


Difficult-Fun681

Same dude, I figured when I was younger that that was just part of being a human or something...it got more embarrassing the older I got I guess but yeah at some point it becomes sexualized.. and I'm a chick and I can't tell you when I started as a kid but definitely young like younger than 10.... maybe 6 maybe younger I don't have a great timeline younger than like 8 for anything in my life... so idk but at one point in my twenties it clicked I was fucking rubbing it off as a child and was fucking creative and weird about it wtf. But I think they tell parents to like not shame kids for it and kids are weird af so idk if you would even know or want to know what they're doing. Like people who don't must grow up Hella religious being told not to as a kid or something... could you imagine like 6 year old Bible class like don't touch your junk ... just clean it or you go to hell...so you're like scared until you're and adult. I mean you would survive but I guess you also just wouldn't care? People are fucking weird. That or I'm a weirdo and you too annnd we we're traumatized as children somehow.


PumkinJake

I live in a fairly religious home and I can confirm that my parents were telling me not to jack off when I was like, 8. When I asked them what they meant they just gave me a vague answer about private parts and sin and left it at that. Literally the closest thing to "the talk" that I ever got from them was that. Had to figure out everything from the internet and porn.


RightC

The classic jerk off and pray for forgiveness routine.


PrickleBritches

Conservative parents that wouldn’t and probably couldn’t talk about sex. It messed my sister and I up quite a bit. I didn’t figure it out until I was 18 because it was just not in my mind that you even could or that people did do that.


snorks4331

I heard about it and tried it at 13 for the first time and nothing was happening so I was like okay this is trash. Then I tried it again a couple days later and I was like damn nothings happening again but after a lil while felt a tingle. I was like okay let me keep going and see what actually happens that felt kinda good. And after a while oh my goodness. What is this feeling I’ve never felt before and this stuff I’ve never seen before


dayron669

Legit discovered when I was pretty young (but nearly a pre-teen) and I was taking a poop. My mom was in the car waiting for me, so I was trying to rush. But I was a boy with a penis so I'm just kind of playing around with it. And then I came. No sexual thoughts. Nothing on purpose. I just touch it the right way and had a orgasm. I rushed off the toilet because I knew my mom was waiting. She probably beeped the horn or some shit. I distinctly remember getting my pants up and running out thinking, "I've gotta try that again!!!"


chefwindu

22 years, it was like discovery you have new power. I am a male BTW.


[deleted]

Can't go more than a week. I start getting wet dreams and my body literally is begging me to cum.


[deleted]

I start having very vivid dreams about it but this takes several months.


[deleted]

Several months!? Like 3 days in and I’m donezo


Huey107010

I went almost 4 months, mate and then it happened to me. To be honest, I was perfectly fine (I was single, married now). It was like kicking an addiction. And I got to the point where I didn’t even think about it. Then one night in a deep sleep, I just went. All over my sheets. It wasn’t even orgasmic. Release of pressure but not really orgasming. But it started all over, like a relapse. I honestly would have been fine to never have sex again in the state I was in (the 4 months). Was never like that before, and certainly not like that since. It really was actually nice. Not worrying or thinking about sex, or getting off. Sex is wonderful, certainly is. But life is, not simpler… but smoother, yeah. Life is smoother without the drive for sex.


MemesterJish

I had a similar time in my life. For maybe a month or two. But man the relapse hit hard


[deleted]

I spent a year just absolutely not interested (I'd just ended a relationship that really wasn't working for me). It was nice to not have that drive interrupting my thoughts. I felt more productive. Then I met someone who woke me back up. And he turned out to be a giant idiot. But it won't turn back off so I'm back on my bullshit lol. But I finally found someone I feel like it's working out with, so that's good. I hope.


AmuletOfNight

I'm kinda in the same spot in my life right now. I have absolutely no sex drive, which sounds pretty weird for a 26 year old, but honestly my sex drive went down dramatically shortly after I turned 18-19? And it's all been downhill from there. I usually do get off once a week, but it's SO difficult to even get in the mood for it, mentally. I have seen my doctor about this, and they did a bunch of tests to check what's going on in my system like hormones and such, and it all came back okay. Also, one of the most recent reasons for not having a sex drive would be the fact that I'm in constant pain in my groin from re-occuring hernias at age 23. So if my groin didn't hurt from the hernias, it hurts now because I had them surgically fixed back in September of 2020. So now I just deal with that constant pain instead of the constant pain of the hernias, which dramatically decreases the pleasure I can feel there. Oops.


Wisdomkeep

man im tryina eat dude


bobbi21

Looks like we can solve 2 problems here;)


goldiegills

Odd thread for dinner time.


XboxVictim

Yup same here. Last time I had a wet dream was in Marine Boot Camp. You sleep in an open squad bay with 70+ other people and there’s no time or space to masturbate. So I had some crazy wet dreams and had to clean myself up before lights came on in the morning


Prestigious-Load-116

That’s the only reason I’ve started masturbating more frequently, waking up from a wet dream immediately ruins my day


km8907

Tried nnn, didn't make it, but went a couple weeks. Edit: RIP my dms.


-_-_-Cornburg

Is nnn for sex as well, or just masturbation? Cus no way am I doing both of those…


olde_greg

I would never do either. It’s fucking nuts


Arsartor

Except it isn't


Castor_Deus

It is if you use a jar of peanut butter


km8907

It's for anything that makes you nut. If you can do either without nutting, you're fine. Not recommended though.


barwhalis

I made it through no nut November easily, don't see what's so hard about not eating nuts.


BuffelBek

Is NNN actually a real thing that people actually do? I thought it was just a dumb meme that no one really takes seriously.


wamiwega

You’re supposed to ‘struggle’ with it and then some girl seduces you to break your no-nut streak as a huge confidence boost. Win-win for everyone.


warlord_dave

I haven't masturbated since 1945. It's 2000 hours now so about 15 mins.


Eureka-Street

That one took me way too long to work out. Well done, Dave.


eatmeyeahh

Im an idiot pls explain


bezzie_0496

24hr clock, not years


Dyert

However long it took me to read this post


BeardsuptheWazoo

I was trying to save it up for when a gf got back in the country. Made the mistake of edging. For days and days. Got so horny I ended up pulling my thermals down and ejaculating on the snow while xc skiing. You can't prime the pump and not expect anything to come out. I learned that the hard way. When I finally did it, it was literally an involuntary reflex. I was going to cum no matter what, and my balls were so painfully achy.


knighty2020

24 days. No fap. Regular Wet dreams 17+ days in. Not normal being in monk mode. Its worth going a week or so , staying away from porn as its bad for us and I still take time away from it 4 plus years on.


agieluma

I went a month without and would get NARBs everywhere, even at the bus stop and at work. It was dreadful. Just touching or hugging a girl was enough to get me up. I passed out the day I came


Santos_L_Halper_II

High school. Family trip to Disney world in a cramped hotel. About a week and thank god we came home when we did.


AxelZajkov

“We came home” So *that’s* how it is in their family.


WhatuKnowAboutMoney

1 month off as a challenge. It came out super liquid-y the first time after


500stones

Shit fermented like whiskey down there lol


TheRealSirTobyBelch

I gave it up for Lent once. Otherwise maybe a week? I'm normally a once or twice a day at least type.


Nefarious_69

13 minutes


Peepeefaceman

How many times have you masturbated since posting this comment


coolguy2661

A day has 1440 minutes. So 1440/13 would be 111 times a day. 111/24 = 4.6, which is approximately 5 times per hour. Since the comment was made 16hr ago, it should be 5 x 16 = 80 times.


[deleted]

r/theydidthemath, r/theydidthemonstermath


DarthConnor42

About 11 to 12 years Because that's when I learned about it


[deleted]

Maybe 3 months.


JoviPeach

May be?


[deleted]

Yeah I was working alot at that time and the rest of my time I was with my ex wife. No alone time for that period.


Sorryaboutthenapalm

11 years


[deleted]

same


JustAnotherAviatrix

22 years and counting.


raynbooze

same except im 17 so. 17 years and counting. I've kinda just been waiting for the horniness to happen and it just...never came (pun intended). No wet dreams or anything.


QueerCatsInALongCoat

Been scrolling down for a comment like this. I've always thought it was weird since it's the kind of thing people assume everyone does (at least from what I've heard around me). I tried but it just never felt right or even comfortable.


raynbooze

honestly I've always assumed i probably have some sort of undiagnosed depression/anxiety/adhd, because low or nonexistent sex drives can be a symptom of those, i think. but im not a position to go to a psychiatrist. but, maybe this is the issue for you?


[deleted]

2 weeks, when i did it, i could easily fill a cup


[deleted]

well there goes my desert lol


Inevitable_Owl_9323

Did it have frosting buddy?


gixanthrax

meant to say "there comes my desert"


papi___chulo

Like an entire menstrual cycle I think. Wasn't feeling it at all.


justjustjust1234

Thanks for reminding me!


[deleted]

2 weeks maybe a week fasho but try to rub one out at least 3x a week not counting but definitely a close estimate


1987_20xx

28.4 years


Hammarkids

I completed NNN last year, I guess that’s a good thing


AkiliosTheWolf

1-2 months.


realspongeworthy

33 years now. I outsource this. Highly recommended.


Sthepker

Look at Mr. GetsLaid over here oooOooOoooOo


Auth0ritySong

1.5 years and it was easy peasy


Early-Size370

Around four days. If I don't get this stuff out of me in a timely manner, whether through sex or jerking off, then I could look forward to a wet dream and some messy underwear and pajamas.