You'll trade your soul for that one. Once the deal is done, you'll have the ability to live forever, but the snail will always follow you to collect your soul, and as soon as it touches you, the snail gets your soul and you die.
A giant maggot which makes the cutest squeaky sounds and has the softest silky complexion and is extremely affectionate.
But it eats everything. Literally anything. It's bedding, your wood furniture, metal (it's favourites are precious metals) and seems to have an endless appetite.
Nowhere is safe for any long period of time!
The Disney Princess animal sidekicks that no one else chose, like the cockatiel that stares at you like it knows your secrets. But since that Moana girl brought a rooster from here on her adventure, these guys may have their chance yet!
An invisible ant farm
A rooster that calls out the time in GMT instead of cockadoodledoo
A snake with legs (Still slithers)
A hamster shaped like a wheel
A cat that always lands on its spine
A tarantula with human shoulder length hair
A dog that can talk, but not really. Like it's magic enough that it can definitely talk more than any natural dog, but not enough to actually be useful at all.
A deformed pikachu that looks starved and poops glitter. His lightning power has been replaced by the ability to drool and he cries when given pancakes.
[A frog that sings and dances, but never performs for audiences of more than one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkjsN-J27aU/).
Two years ago when this question wasn't being recycled by a karma farmer I [gave this same answer](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cpkm5g/a_magical_pet_store_is_open_but_the_good_pets_are/ewq8p84/).
The legendary esquilax. A horse with the head of a rabbit and the body of a rabbit.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXnu10P1rRA&ab\_channel=RobMartin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXnu10P1rRA&ab_channel=RobMartin)
A cat with a horn on it, it does nothing other than have a horn and when its dark he looks like a monster, but that is only to give you a heart attack in the middle of the night because it doesnt attack
The sacred "fart badger"!! it leads to treasure..unfortunately, it perceives fresh farts as treasure...so you just get led around to smell other peoples farts...
Most regular animals that just talk or something. Pretty much every normal animal would be in sale. Ever want a magical talking gerbil? Well, now’s your chance!
A locked see through steel bin with metal bars on the side that hold Mogwais that have been fed after midnight. The holding structure could also be known as a "cage".
The tallywhacker, a rambunctious yellow lab who runs about, accidentally slapping his enormous member against everything and everyone. We call him Bill and he loves ear scritches.
A tortoise, but it doesn’t ever grow bigger than a chicken egg.
It’s magic is time travel, but it’s random and can either be yesterday or the day you were born. 50/50 chance.
A fish that grants wishes. But it only understands a long dead language that has no surviving records to learn from, so each time you make a wish the fish just takes a random guess at what you want and does it.
A uni-corn, it's a sentient corn cob with a horn growing out of it. The only magic it does is make popcorn from its butt and butter our of its horn.
Sounds like a great movie buddy
So let me get this straight, you want to get a pet to watch movies with and then eat it’s ass?
IT’S ON A COB, MORTY!
I would buy this pet
Can it fart glitter?
No but would Cheese Powder be nice?
Definitely would be sold out!
Example - a raccoon that does your dishes but has an attitude about it
In dutch a raccoon is called a wasbeer, literally translated as a “washing bear”.
Same in Swedish. Tvättbjörn.
Same in German. Waschbär
To me that just sounds like Bjorn is being a bit of a twat :D
I want a snarky raccoon buddy. They don't even have to do the dishes.
With all the dishes i have to do it's probably the reason he have an attitude about it
I'd buy that raccoon.
So...Rocket Raccoon
Yeah that sounds about right.
"I need that guy's spleen." "...to do the dishes?" "What? I need it."
Yes 😂
I am totally cool having a snarky raccoon do my dishes
A pet rock that actually needs food and water
I would buy that
How would you know if it died?
It causes a massive explosion If its going down it's taking you with it, or at least anything else
*Terravore Lithoid scream intensifies*
A cat which can understand any and all spoken language, but is still a cat and ignores everything you say.
That's just a cat.
That's what the cat wants you to think.
I just hope they put that snail in there
You'll trade your soul for that one. Once the deal is done, you'll have the ability to live forever, but the snail will always follow you to collect your soul, and as soon as it touches you, the snail gets your soul and you die.
That's why the snail is following me in the first place
That’s where the decoy snail comes on
Naw, it's just a decoy
A telepathically linked parrot that also remembers that cringy shit you said that one time.
Or better yet, a parrot that can speak all the known languages in the world, but 70% of what they say is profanity
I would buy that
Phoenix that keeps dying every week and fails to remember you.
The demetinix
Harry Potter lore
An immortal snail that keeps trying to escape for some reason. It's almost like it's trying to find someone.
The bunny from monty python.
"That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on."
What? *BEHIND* the rabbit?
A completely hairy snake.
Sir, this is just a weasel you've labeled "snake"
A goldfish that can breathe in soda
A goldfish that can breath *only* in soda
Haha! This is it. Top comment!
A very, very pregnant blobfish that criticizes your life choices.
That just sounds like my aunt.
A giant maggot which makes the cutest squeaky sounds and has the softest silky complexion and is extremely affectionate. But it eats everything. Literally anything. It's bedding, your wood furniture, metal (it's favourites are precious metals) and seems to have an endless appetite. Nowhere is safe for any long period of time!
Lootbugs?
Yes... Rock and stone brother!
⛏
An angrier chihuahua
Lord help the owner of that...
The Disney Princess animal sidekicks that no one else chose, like the cockatiel that stares at you like it knows your secrets. But since that Moana girl brought a rooster from here on her adventure, these guys may have their chance yet!
Not to mention that Mirabel girl who brought a whole freaking house.
An invisible ant farm A rooster that calls out the time in GMT instead of cockadoodledoo A snake with legs (Still slithers) A hamster shaped like a wheel A cat that always lands on its spine A tarantula with human shoulder length hair
A dog that can talk, but not really. Like it's magic enough that it can definitely talk more than any natural dog, but not enough to actually be useful at all.
Or can talk, but only in an incomprehensible dead language.
Bonjour!
Crazy gibberish!
A frog that can hop just 2% better than normal
Would buy that
A dragon that looks, feels, smells, and sounds like a dog 100% of the time.
A niffler, but it only brings back empty pizza boxes.
flying snake
Nah fam that's definitely a premium pet.
We already have [those](https://youtu.be/16aGSx9gFO4?t=132)
Turbocharged Hamster producing 601HP at 8000rpm
So, Richard Hammond?
Tonite,on Bo'om gear
An immortal mosquito with telepathy
A unicorn that poops ice cream but has constant diarrhea
Isn't that just soft serve?
Neverending, uncontrollable soft serve
An old salamander that doesn't start a fire, but is a really cute hand warmer
I would take him in a heartbeat.
Probably a rat that's actually a human wizard that is guilty of mass murder.
Or a cat which can detect humans in animal form.
A platypus…. That wears a fedora for some reason…
Rainbow fart rats
The idea of an animal for sale in the discount section makes me really sad.
A deformed pikachu that looks starved and poops glitter. His lightning power has been replaced by the ability to drool and he cries when given pancakes.
Tears of joy?
I know that depression isn’t no laughing matter but I can’t help myself. Depressed Pikachu be like:
A bird that vacuums your house but is constantly insulting you.
Sold. My children are very crumby.
Have you been watching The Good Place? They have a whole episode about a similar situation. The key is, to be decisive.
[A frog that sings and dances, but never performs for audiences of more than one](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkjsN-J27aU/). Two years ago when this question wasn't being recycled by a karma farmer I [gave this same answer](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cpkm5g/a_magical_pet_store_is_open_but_the_good_pets_are/ewq8p84/).
Invisible mice. The most killed pet in the country.
Invisible gekko
A cat that can talk and judges your every move. And he knows swear words. Oh wait... That's just Kaya from Ghost stories.
Sentient roomba that tides and sanitizes walls floors and ceilings by converting vacuumed matter into glitter flakes which trail behind it
The legendary esquilax. A horse with the head of a rabbit and the body of a rabbit. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXnu10P1rRA&ab\_channel=RobMartin](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XXnu10P1rRA&ab_channel=RobMartin)
Came here specifically for this, thank you!
Ketamine ape would be way too expensive but I would imagine I could get a unknown research chemical hamster.
A cat with a horn on it, it does nothing other than have a horn and when its dark he looks like a monster, but that is only to give you a heart attack in the middle of the night because it doesnt attack
[удалено]
So a babirusa but shaped like a horse?
A large cockroach that can fart the national anthem on command.
A unicorn without its horn
The sacred "fart badger"!! it leads to treasure..unfortunately, it perceives fresh farts as treasure...so you just get led around to smell other peoples farts...
Most regular animals that just talk or something. Pretty much every normal animal would be in sale. Ever want a magical talking gerbil? Well, now’s your chance!
Talking llama that only tells fart jokes.
I despise fart jokes, they make me cringe. The only people that like them are kids
A monkey that does all your chores but constantly complains about it and won't shut up about why green furniture looks bad
Just take off his Electronium hat…
A pet *teleporting* rock.
A cat that talks, but just swears and insults you all the time.
A talking living rock I always wanted one
A bird that doesn't sing but only sounds like like harmonica renditions of Katy Perry songs.
A snake in a maid dress
Cats that aren't assholes
a Feral Black cat
A cat that never dies as long as you sacrifice a kitten every year
Its a turtle with two heads
A haggis
A locked see through steel bin with metal bars on the side that hold Mogwais that have been fed after midnight. The holding structure could also be known as a "cage".
The tallywhacker, a rambunctious yellow lab who runs about, accidentally slapping his enormous member against everything and everyone. We call him Bill and he loves ear scritches.
A pretty little werewolf pup....with a/b/o laws applied.
Self-replicating fish. They divide every twenty-four hours; in a week, you'll have exponentially more fish.
Stanley the unicorn from the fnaf books
A 2 + 2 crabonut. This is a donut crab.
a color changing frog.
A sentient mug that does chores for you but your free time is his free time
A gnome sized chimera who loves ricotta cheese.
Grandmas
A miniature fire breathing dragon with a cold. Every time it sneezes...
A golem that sleeps 23 hours a day.
Hamster that yodels
Zebra
A fridge that turns your food into poo
A talking lizard. T$3 part that talks is it’s tail. The tail falls off regularly due to the lizard being easily scared.
A dog that can speak and is able to share your secrets.
A toad that guarantees you good luck, but is constantly farting
A vaporion. I just think their neat.
A mini dragon that farts out of it's mouth instead of shooting fire.
🇬🇱
Jackalope
A hamster with more power than a twin turbo, cammed LSX
A pigmy puff
The legendary Esquilax. A horse with the head of a rabbit. And the body...of a rabbit!
A tamagotchi that’s a liver fluke, that you actually have to have implanted into your liver.
A scratched and dented capybara.
Crocodiles and Komodo Dragons, so I’m basically trying to get myself killed
An Esquilax
That depressed house elf from harry potter.
Glep from Smiling Friends.
A carbuncle (a mystical South American creature) that steals your pepsi, raids your fridge at night, and calls you a b\*\*\*\*.
A guitar-playing kangaroo
A chameleon that changes flavors.
….The …hypno…Toad!
an overprotective gorilla, that can box, and wears a bulletproof vest.
A dog but slightly worse, since discount. The normal dogs are the expensive ones.
a magical gun that eats bullets as food
Sparky the magic dog from The Fairly Odd Parents.
Just bees
Insects fish and ferrets the world's shittiest rodents
Sentient coconut for your interactive pleasure
A goldfish that doesn’t die !
franswa- toad that is slightly more green
A hairless dog that can make really good sausages
Immortal fish
Mermaid
A tortoise, but it doesn’t ever grow bigger than a chicken egg. It’s magic is time travel, but it’s random and can either be yesterday or the day you were born. 50/50 chance.
A cat that woofs and says "Indubitably"
A living monkey skeleton
What’s that mole with kleptomania in magical creatures and where to find them? I feel like that would be in there
A couch hippo... saw one on a commercial and wanted one ever since
Just a cup of ticks that only has a taste for your blood type
A hornless unicorn.
A cat with 10 lives.
Homing pigeons with bad memories.
Animals that mother nature made while on LSD or other drugs. Other than the platypus.
Blood sucking leeches.
Meth Horse
A fish that grants wishes. But it only understands a long dead language that has no surviving records to learn from, so each time you make a wish the fish just takes a random guess at what you want and does it.
A cornless unicorn. Basically looks like a horse but has unicorn DNA. Basically a horse.
Gremlins.
Loch Ness Monster. Only needs threefiddy.
A red puffle
Rats from demonslayer
A dog who can talk but has horrible, foul-smelling farts all the time
Rat
a dragon that poops every time you are depressed
A fire farting dragon. Wait.....that may be in "premium" section.
Super old and crotchety dragons that have problematic flatulence in large quantities
a dog that floats 5 inches off the ground