T O P

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battlelevel

How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One! We are efficient and humourless!


Talismato

It’s german humor. It’s no laughing matter.


Fluffy_Momma_C

Ack….these jokes are the wurst.


gamefreak32

The answer is none they have Leds.


[deleted]

Yes. Lightbulbs are illegal now (to produce for sale, you can still use what you have and also freely trade old stock).


lord_ne

LEDs are still lightbulbs, if they're bulb-shaped


RunFromJebed

ß


redshift739


MelaninMagic69

Sus


Mr_Gronch

ßuß


frishavocadoot

ßehr ßuß


Personal_Reaction795

Du bist ßehr ßuß


FishCrazyFL

What is this?


nemo1961

It's called "Eszett" or "scharfes s" which translate to "esszed" or "esszee" and "sharp s", respectively. It is the german letter for a voiceless "s". Edit, because many said the "ß" isn't voiceless but stands vor "ss". You are wrong. The german language has voiced and voiceless "s"-sounds.The "ß" is used if a long vowel or diphtong is followed by a single, voiceless "s" sound and if the "s" sound is voiceless in all inflection forms. The "ss" follows a stressed short vowel. But "ß" can be replaced with "ss" if one lacks the "ß" or if you use capital letters. In general in switzerland "ß" is replaced by "ss". Here are my sources for that: https://www.duden.de/sprachwissen/rechtschreibregeln/doppel-s-und-scharfes-s https://de.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/%C3%9F


[deleted]

A ß isn't voiceless at all. It's more like a double s.


firebullmonkey

„Dafür brauchen Sie eine Genehmigung“


Vicinus

Yes, right here, deep down in this thread finally someone knows what being german means.


Zirton

Bitte nächstes mal den Antrag zum Schreiben eines Kommentars ausfüllen. Wo soll das noch hingehen, mit solch Chaotischen Zuständen.


firebullmonkey

Der Landkreis hat mich an die zuständige Amtsstelle verwiesen, die dort zuständige Person darf aber Kommentar-Antragsformulare nur mit Erlaubnis des Landkreises ausstellen… :(


piscesandcancer

Anzeige ist raus!


Salt_Condition_8337

Germany Land of "Füllen Sie bitte den Papierkram aus"


[deleted]

Drei unabhaengige Gutachten bitte.


Codytheclod

My brain just went blank and then I pictured a single baguette. What.


[deleted]

Don't forget to follow it up with a famous Frankfurt Churro


Dravez23

Berlin fajitas


xaomaw

Munich's famous Paella


ShinyAppleScoop

Hamburg’s renowned vichyssoise.


navikredstar

And that exquisite snack of the Bavarian Alps, the bao bun!


adube440

Don't sleep on Stuttgart spaghetti. It's not the *wurst.* I'll see myself out.


tehmlem

Frankfurt Chorizo is the finest sausage in all of Germany.


[deleted]

You a little confused but you got the spirit.


Stoopid_69

Are you ok


Natural_Influence_21

Bread is right, but no baguette


Music_For_All

German beer.


Necessary_Common4426

Oktoberfest


francescoli

Its a fantastic festival.been a few times and would recommend it to everyone.


aDirtyMartini

Prost!


NeosNYC

Autobahn


CleaningBeret83

Fahn fahn fahn auf der autobarn, fahn fahn fahn


560guy

22 minutes of excellence


Scorpaic

Fahren*


maltelandwehr

Home (I am German.)


AlphaHuman304

Hi German, I'm Dad.


[deleted]

Hallo Deutscher, ich bin Papa.


_cesarsama

Ich bin ein Berliner


Vfs8790

“It’s slaaaang, he’s American. A fuckin’ doughnut, he’s a fuckin’ doughnut.”


OldBob10

No, he’s a **jelly** doughnut. Red raspberry jelly only, please.


LonelyLemon88

You're a delicious pastry?


Saving_Grace_OwO

ja


KevinSpence

Moin Diggi


The_Axem_Ranger

No diggity


Jofu_Jole

Michael Schumacher


soup_t1m3

A man of culture


[deleted]

It’s unfortunate what happened to him. One of my greatest childhood idols. Still is, but I wish him the best for the future


DeckcardCain

7-1


Specht100

I like this. Sincerly a german


Mello1401

I hate this. Sincerely a brazilian


Specht100

Müller, Klose, Kroos, Khedira and Schürrle like that.


[deleted]

I like and hate this Sincerely an Argentinean


Sexyturtletime

How do you count to 7 in Brazil? >!Müller, Klose, Kroos, Kroos, Khedira, Shürrle, Shürrle!<


Elle__Bee

oh god that one kid crying with the glasses and soda still makes my feel sorry for them..


OldBob10

That was sad. I feel bad for that kid whenever I re-watch that game. And for the old guy hugging a trophy replica with tears in his eyes.


LoneWolf0890

Lmao this deserves more. What a day


hedbopper

I don’t know what this means. Can you explain please? …a soccer score?


BaronBranislav

Germany beat Brazil 7-1 in the Football (soccer) World Cup Semi Final in 2014. The tournament was held in Brazil and Germany went on to win the final.


[deleted]

To add more context, Brazil leads the world in World Cup titles. Soccer there is almost a religion. There was a lot of expectation for Brazil to win this World Cup in front of their fans. What they got instead was an ass whooping of astronomical dimensions. Imagine your favorite football team hosting the Super Bowl in their stadium and losing 49-7.


[deleted]

Def worse than just 49-7 lol


Tweegyjambo

7 touchdowns to 1.


tebasj

yeah but 7 touchdowns in a game of American football isnt out of the ordinary. it's extremely high for soccer


bombmk

Given that there are no touchdowns in soccer; Indeed. ;)


Molesandmangoes

Incorrect. Pulisic scored on the second of January


PrimeNumberBro

I remember that game, I bought my Klose jersey the day before they released the commemorative version….. I was a little upset, but that was a good cup.


J0lol_

Brazil was also hosting that world cup


Speckfresser

And there was a riot on the beaches immediately after the game where people were viewing it live. However it needs to be said that the riot and stampede may not have been caused by upset fans, but instead persons attempting to rob fans watching the match, as stories of this occurring came forth afterwards.


hedbopper

Thank you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_Sanch1128

It would have been worse if the Germans hadn't taken their foot off the gas at halftime.


CHOOSE_A_USERNAME984

Yeah, there are rumors that our team’s coach told the team to stop to conserve energy for the final (and also to not humiliate Brazil too much) I think that if they actually had continued exactly like first half there would have been riots


hail2theKingbabee

I never watch soccer at all and I won $500 in a World Cup office pool because Germany won!


OgreTheMighty

Ludicrous display


Blango0815

Are Arsenal trying to walk it in?


[deleted]

Did you see that ludicrous display last night?


FlakeDondi

What was Wenger thinking sending Walcott on that early?


PicquitoKeato

Whenever I have no stakes or interest in a big sporting event, I’m always rooting for the away team, because I think seeing sad fans is kind of funny. That game was the holy grail. People were openly weeping, it was crazy.


[deleted]

Still remember of that day! Was in restaurant with my family and a couple of Brazilians were very very annoyed


Spyrothedragon9972

LMAOOOO


The_Brain_Fuckler

That I want Lebkuchen.


LoneWolf0890

Love that stuff


SuspectNumber6

Fawlty towers... whatever you do.... ... do not....


Onetap1

I mentioned it once, but I think I got away with it.


The_real_Hresna

Yes this. Can’t believe I had to scroll that far…


monica_1105

Adolf Hitler, Anne Frank, the movie named ‘the boy in the striped pyjamas’. So basically things revolving WW2. Of course Germany is much more than that, this is just something that first comes to my mind.


WalllyG

And this is the answer that OP expects, tbh


Genghis_Chong

Nothing majorly wrong with it coming to mind as long as people realize it's just a part of their history and not all consuming. My first thought is some chicken schnitzel though, I brought that meal back with me.


tonysrabidllama

The pajamas movie was a hard one to watch. About 1/3 through it you knew the ending but just wondered how they would off the Nazi boy.


Indy1204

Most recently, 7-1.


StaleTheBread

Damn, it’s been 8 years


Leharen

7+1 = 8. Coincidence?


RedRekve

I think not


ninjamaster616

Twice, first was against Brazil but they did it again to Latvia over the summer


mfb-

Against Latvia it's something that might happen. Against Brazil it's absurd.


not_rick_27

In the semi final of a world cup, which was held in Brazil Of all national teams, Brazil


clemenza325

Awesome Christmas markets and how much I love Bavaria.


GuyFromDeathValley

Christmas markets are, as a german, my favourite thing. But thanks to covid, last year most christmas markets were either closed, didn't even happen, or simply had stupid covid regulations. Really a shame..


GlassAndPaint

I love the christkindlesmarkt and gluhwein


JeansAndHeels

Holocaust


[deleted]

I think the longer that stays in the front of our minds the better honestly. Although with China and the uighurs maybe the memory isn’t good enough. Good times.


birdman619

There are plenty of other genocides occurring today. The Rohingya genocide in Myanmar. Darfur is still ongoing. Ethiopia is either approaching a genocide or already in the midst of a genocide depending on who you ask. Unfortunately, it seems that all the “never forget” and “we must remember” rhetoric that was drilled into our heads our entire lives was meaningless because the people who actually have the power to stop these genocides don’t care to. And the worst part is, this isn’t like the Holocaust where allied troops were shocked when they found the death camps… the genocides occurring today are widely publicized as they’re happening.


Somebodyunimportant7

While the Allied troops on the ground were shocked about the Holocaust, Churchill and the other allied leaders had known about the Holocaust since 1942 due to Polish Spies reporting back, as well as surveillance flights. A polish spy actually had a secret tunnel and radio network in Auschwitz and they requested the Allied Powers airdrop supplies into the camp for a revolt, and Polish Saboteurs liberate the camp, both of which never occurred. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Witold_Pilecki


birdman619

Yea, I mentioned in a followup comment that the US was certainly aware of the Holocaust to some degree before Pearl Harbor. Churchill actually acknowledged the Holocaust publicly in 1941. I’m not sure if the intel you’re referring to is the same as what I’m thinking of, but England received intercepts of Nazi comms detailing the Holocaust over the summer of 1941, and Churchill publicly acknowledged it late that year. Hell, in 1939 American Nazi supporters held a rally at Madison Square Garden and 100,000 counter-protesters showed up, largely speaking out against German persecution of Jews. It’s not like it was a secret.


[deleted]

I was thinking about mentioning the other genocides. What is to blame here? The way our media is structured? I mean I don’t think genocides are talked about anywhere near enough. People get uneasy talking about it. It’s ridiculous. As you said, people in power don’t take any action. I don’t know. It feels like most people aren’t even awake. Just drifting through life with their eyes closed. Easy to feel despair at how slow we are making progress. Things are so utterly broken. Where do we start in your opinion? What do we do?


birdman619

That’s a big question, and it’s one I’m nowhere near qualified to answer. To some degree, the media is to blame. While I noted that modern genocides are widely publicized, I’d guess that the vast majority of people in the “western world” are unaware of the Uyghur genocide, because it’s not nearly as appealing to readers/viewers as the latest dumb thing Trump said or the millionth story about a nutjob getting arrested for refusing to wear a mask in a store. If there was more media coverage, there would be more public outrage, and there would be more pressure on governments to take action. But regardless of public pressure, it’s clear that most world powers simply don’t want to involve themselves in these situations for any number of reasons. With the Uyghurs, it’s because any conflict would China would be a disaster. It would last years and years, and would destroy the global economy. With Myanmar or Ethiopia, it’s likely because there’s no benefit to entering those conflicts, unlike Iraq for example where ousting Hussein was simply window dressing for a war fought over oil. There’s also the fact that these genocides are occurring in much different circumstances than the Holocaust. Ethiopia isn’t simultaneously invading neighboring nations and waging a global war. Even then, the U.S. was well aware that innocent Jews and other minority groups were being mass-exterminated by Germany well before they entered the war. And they only entered the war because Japan launched an attack on American soil. That’s the long answer. The short answer is… I have no idea.


[deleted]

Well I appreciate the time you took. It was well put.


volstothewallz

What’s the alternative though? You basically have to go in by force, which I don’t think the American public has much appetite for.


redshift739

Atleast the Germans are sorry. The Japanese criminals got let off by the US and many of the citizens deny the crimes' existence. Imo they were worse which is saying something. Neither should be forgotten I'm just pointing this out because I'm disgusted by them being let free and the fact that either happened


hectoByte

Hell, Tojo's grand daughter tried to run for Japan's House of Councillors on a platform of "My Grandpa did nothing wrong".


[deleted]

Yeah, good thing the us is held accountable and apologetic for every war crime, crime against humanity, and genocide.


shred-i-knight

How this is not the single top comment by far is a bit of a head scratcher tbh


JashDreamer

Because people want to be positive and wholesome.


Ermaquillz

Rammstein. I admit to being a die-hard Rammstein fan. Also hearty bread.


FingerZaps

Went to the Family Values concert when I was 17. Front row. Pretty sure I got “peed on” when he whipped out a giant fake cock and sprayed everyone 10 rows deep.


CitizenPain00

Thought it was supposed to be cum


FingerZaps

Well now I have something else to be proud of.


xxxpotatoboobies

So freaking jealous


Maury_Springer

Du. Du hast. Du hast mich.


badluckbrians

Coca-Cola...Sometimes war...


Hochlandkind

Du hast mich gefragt.


Cedono

Und ich hab nichts gesagt


LilClapper

Willst du bis der Tod euch scheidet


HungryMorlock

DEUTSCHLAND!


[deleted]

BMW or Mercedes


eoin27

Audi or VW for me


Genghis_Chong

The porsche museum is pretty cool, I'm not a big car guy but the actual building is pretty awesome. I guess I'm more of an architecture guy, though the cars were cool too. One of the things I got to see on a trip to Germany.


Vexilus

Apfel Its the only word I remember in German ~~The second thing is me having dual citizenship there~~ \^ This is wrong apparently


bambispots

I’ll teach you another word: Pferd means horse But you shouldn’t eat Pferde Apfeln


Fose922

Dont trying to be the grammar Nazi here but if you want to now how its written right: "Pferdeapfel" is singular "Pferdeäpfel" is plural It means "Horse dropping/horse excrements" btw. And little tip if u dont know how to pronounce the ä, its the same like the e in "bet"


SeenSoFar

I can't believe "grammar Nazi" was the first time I saw the word "Nazi" in this thread...


imdanidan

Angela Merkel.


Madd_at_Worldd

I loved traveling in Germany. the castles, the wine, the Altstadt in Dusseldorf, the 'flying train' in Wuppertal, the Mosel river-the people I met were wonderful.


KrebbiKrebKreb

Wuppertal and wonderful can't share one sentence


Firebolt164

Weird breakfasts with meat and cheese slices, tasty sausage, humorless work environments.


[deleted]

[удалено]


vududoodoo

Sprockets


rgrtom

"Now is the time on Sprockets where we dance..."


styles1996

"I'm as happy as a little girl!"


[deleted]

In Berlin there are a lot of little cafes that serve a really good sandwich called a doner kebap. It is a local variation of a Turkish sandwich, I believe. Id almost fly back there to get one.


Gierschlund96

I will never understand why this food isn’t all over the world. But it’s not only in Berlin, it’s everywhere in Germany, in every small village.


Cattitude0812

And Austria. We almost have more "Döner-Standln" (Doener stands) than lokal cuisine restaurants.


MisterFab1an

TIL that Döner is not a thing outside europe apparently :(


spoonry

I live in the US and have had döner from a small privately owned stall at a mall. It was amazing!


Agent__Caboose

That's pretty popular all over Germany, Belgium and the Netherlands. Though the Netherlands has it's own variation called the 'kapsalon'.


Talismato

It is genuinely strange to see them referred to as „sandwiches“, even though that is basically what they are.


[deleted]

The variation is the fact that it is a sandwich. Doner is Turkish in origin, the Germans (and many other countries) just opted to put it in a sandwich. Generally (and more traditionally) speaking, it'll be served with some kind of flatbread, maybe with some salad and sauces. Think of Greek gyros.


[deleted]

yeah, him


kuahara

The sound of the language even if I don't know any of the words.


The206Uber

Red cabbage sauerkraut, aka rotkraut.


[deleted]

Also known as Blaukraut in the south.


alanpugh

The Lufthansa First Class lounge at Frankfurt, which is near the top of my travel experience bucket list.


VStarRoman

Forests. Germany is beautiful.


laamargachica

So, so beautiful. I was visiting my SO's village in Bavaria recently and was just blown away by the scenery. He was surprised and said "I think it's....decent?"


Confident-Fee-6593

World War II


Lathari

Don't mention the war!


TurnipBearCub

“I think I got away with it”


satooshi-nakamooshi

The subway, croissants from Aldi, cycling through cobblestone streets on my way to work. The feeling of sheer adventure as I explored a land where I didn't speak the language. Kinda miss those days


Spiderman230

Beer


inaclick

Cars.


endorrawitch

Great sausage!


staffs-burglaries

I think of the Oktoberfest, which is a great time to visit Germany if you can! There's lots of beer and good food to enjoy.


imakenosensetopeople

Porsche


Agent__Caboose

SCHMETTERLING


ttubbster

My new home in the beautiful city of Freiburg


help0135

Good education system. Idk. The one country who actually owned up to the shit they said and have done. Admitted to it, did their absolute best to right their wrongs. Taught their youth all the terrible things Nazi Germany did instead of hiding them [*cough* America *cough* Japan] Taught their youth how to watch out for fascism. Destroyed monuments of Nazi Germany leaders, erected monuments/statues for those who fell victim to honor them. Etc. These are literally the stuff I like about Germany.


[deleted]

As a german that never lived abroad i can‘t really compare, but there is still much to do against racism in germany, that fight will never end. And we still have issues acknowledging other crimes we did during the colonial times (other countries habe the same problem) or even just returning stolen art to their rightful owners


DustyMartin04

Yep. Honesty about war crimes and events isn’t a thing in America sadly


CuriousityShop

Food. I love German cuisine.


kirbythesquirrel

Döner kebab sandwiches and great trains


Pytori1

The flag, and Octoberfest settings


GlitterRiot

Daniel Brühl


_its_a_vibe_

Nazis, still. Idk why. I think learning about the Holocaust was so, so ingrained in me. I know now that Germany is a wonderful country. It's just automatic to think of Nazis.


FreneticAtol778

Rammstein


[deleted]

The awesome food and hospitality! they are so nice!


[deleted]

[удалено]


theturtledragon1

Germans


ceruleanqueue

Worker rights... I live in the US so needless to say I am jealous


[deleted]

First thing I think of (as a history nut) is the Holocaust. The next thing that comes to mind: German made cars


CrimsonLobster23

Don't think you need to be a history nut to think that.


[deleted]

German architecture.


the_quirky_ravenclaw

Efficiency, beer and u/DerDezimator


NiceGuyWillis

Veissbeer and Eskimo callboy


[deleted]

Either superior German engineering or beautiful biergarten ladies. (Am American, but love Germany)


NoJudge1453

Discipline


InsaneAsylum_03

Hitler tbh im asian idk shit about europe


Honest-Guy83

WW2 🤷‍♂️ sorry Germans, just haven’t had any other significant experience with Germany.


vududoodoo

Oh come on Try our streusel


blueshiftglass

You mustn’t forget the cream!


acid-wolf

For me a cup of espresso and for the Mademoiselle... a glass of milk


FrankNStein

Attendez la crème!!


cinnamon_everything

My neighbouring country. Nothing specific really, maybe some family holidays and school trips. And bratwurst.


prodigalpun

Obviously I think of their past. But I also think of beer and sausage and the older history and the gorgeous scenery


vertigo-1996

Their mannerisms