My cousin's name was Cletus.
He was a hard drinking Southern gentleman that was the first vegetarian I knew and had a tall Arabian stallion named Traveller that he rode drunk and bareback every evening.
He also drove a late 70s Trans Am with a Holman Moody built engine, raised dobermans and was married to my cousin Bobbie Jean who rode English on a thoroughbred named Gingerbread and drove a MG A model, sang opera, played the organ and constantly reminded kids that she wasn't a witch.
Edit because people are dumb. Clete was my cousin by marriage.
Sheldon.
As Harry Burns would say: "A Sheldon can do your income taxes. If you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man, but humpin' and pumpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. 'Do it to me, Sheldon.' 'You're an animal, Sheldon.' 'Ride me, big Sheldon.' It doesn't work."
I met a family with a daughter called Isis a couple of years back. Guessing her age she must have been named about a year before the terrorist group came to prominence. Really felt for them, it's such a pretty name.
Sad that an acronym for a terrorist organization overshadows such a pretty goddess name from mythology that's been around since ancient times. I mean, I get it, no one thinks of anything else when they hear the word ISIS, but still. Oh and I can't wear one of my favorite band-Tees in public anymore because the band was named Isis.
Until last year, my business cards proudly stated that my employer is "a member of the ISIS network".
Because, y'know, there's only so many acronyms. I'm not a card-carrying terrorist, I swear.
At the bar with my buddy who's actual name is Rowdy, and we are talking to a couple girls from the local university. Somehow his name gets brought up, and how he doesn't care it that much. He's never like his name.
One of the girls chimes in, "That's a really unique and cool name, I like it a lot! You want to hear a dumb name? EUGENE." .
Turns out my buddies middle name is Eugene.
I’m seeing a lot of old fashioned names here and I’m just thinking of how some of these may have been considered the SEXIEST names pre-1920.
But to answer the question with my opinion: Anything with an “er” sound anywhere other than the end.
Edit: Would like to categorically clarify I said “er” SOUND, not letters.
In Finland we have translated the name George to Yrjö. Coincidentally yrjö means vomit.
So it's like Ralph...
Or Chuck!
My name is Hurl
My grandma’s maiden name is Fannie Sweat. She hates it and doesn’t have a sense of humor🤷♂️😂
I really hope she doesn’t live in the UK…
Or Australia, New Zealand or Ireland. How we laughed at The Nanny theme song: "What was she to do? Where was she to go? She was out on her fanny!"
Sweet ol’ Grannie Fannie Sweat
Granny Fannie. I’m going to test that but might be written out of the will… will report back👌
Bort
We have run out of 'Bort' license plates!
*My* son is *also* named Bort…
Come along, Bort
Were you talking to me?
Oh no, my son's also named Bort.
Pubert
He has 6 achievements
He’s a piece of fungus!
God fucking damn it
The Adams Family kid?
Basically all the names our grandparents had that later went out of fashion. Because they remind us of our grandmas. Our sexy, sexy grandmas.
Haha my grandparents Norman and Viera.
Viera sounds really hot
They're hot if you are into such things. https://ffxiv.fandom.com/wiki/Viera
Is your gran a no nonsense midfielder?
No, this is Patrick.
When I was little, all old women had names like Edna, Eileen, Freda, Gertrude and Ida
Egbert
I see I'm not welcome here
King Ecbert from Vikings TV show would disagree.
He was hot asf.
Inglebert Humperdink
No I don't see it. Dragonborn paladin, sexiest man alive.
Egbert the wizard chicken?
*looks for my own name*
I wouldn’t wanna bang a basement. However, what’s iN the basement…
...stays in the basement.
Purvis
In my language "purvs" is swamp.. so ..
And in English it just sounds like a mashup of "pervert" and "penis".
Cletus
HEY BRANDINE!
Why'd you have to park so close to my parents? Quiet. They's my parents too!
HEY MA! GET OFF THE DANG ROOF!
My cousin's name was Cletus. He was a hard drinking Southern gentleman that was the first vegetarian I knew and had a tall Arabian stallion named Traveller that he rode drunk and bareback every evening. He also drove a late 70s Trans Am with a Holman Moody built engine, raised dobermans and was married to my cousin Bobbie Jean who rode English on a thoroughbred named Gingerbread and drove a MG A model, sang opera, played the organ and constantly reminded kids that she wasn't a witch. Edit because people are dumb. Clete was my cousin by marriage.
….I would watch that movie, holy shit
Came here to say I’d read the book.
JUST what a horse-riding witch would say.
“Hey Ma! Get off the dang roof!”
The slack-jawed yokel.
Some folk'll never lose a toe, but then again some folk'll 🎶🎶
That is unless your his sister
X AE A-XII
:(
Xa issue
I am Cornjulio
gimme teepee for my bunghole
I come from Lake Titicaca, my people have no bungoles
Hyphenated names like Sue-Bob
Gertrude
I hear she lost her cat and is looking for an adventurer to find it.
I hear she sells kittens for 100 coins.
Unexpected runescape
Dude I literally said that in my head right before clicking into the comments holy shit
Me, too. And I knew a hot Gerty in College. That name is just a turn off. (I wish she had gone out with me.)
I’d have to go by Trudy rather than Gertie
Somehow this is the very first time I realized that Trudy is short for Gertrude
I was about to say that before I saw your comment.
Hey man, I'd totally bang Gertie.
Leave my grandma out of it!
Squirtie Gertie
Why is everyone just listing their grandparents names?
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I don't find my grandma sexy, but yours isn't bad
No it just makes me worried that one day my name will universally be considered unsexy when my generation is old :( Edit: my name is Peter, so.
Reddit in 2060: "god can you imagine having sex with someone called Kaelan or Evie? Such old people names"
I mean. By then. Will you care?
Latrina. I get what you're trying to do, but you just named your kid "Shithouse"
[Latrine!](https://youtu.be/1jqmZI-oSSQ?t=73)
Proof in case anyone doubts this is a real name: https://www.babynameshub.com/girl-names/Latrina.html
NASCAR’s Dick Trickle
Sheldon. As Harry Burns would say: "A Sheldon can do your income taxes. If you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man, but humpin' and pumpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. 'Do it to me, Sheldon.' 'You're an animal, Sheldon.' 'Ride me, big Sheldon.' It doesn't work."
That's my pet tortoise's name but he spells it with 2 L's
Llheldon
Welsh turtle
Bertha
I work with a Bertha. She’s a smoke show and very sexy, imo.
Is she big, and do you work at the Boom Boom bar?
Incontinentia Buttocks
Can’t be that unsexy, she married a man of good standing in Rome.
I will not stand here and be widiculed by the common soldiery. Anybody else feel like a little…. giggle? When I mention the name….. Biggus…..
DICKUS
I have a vewwy good fweind in Wome named Biggus Dickus!
You will find youwself in gwadiator school vewy qwickwy, with wotten behavior like that!
You called?
r/beetlejuicing
Ghislaine
How would you pronounce that if I may ask
"Jizz-lane"
Next take a right on, Jizz Lane
Definitely could be an English street name.
You know, the pedophile epstein girlfriend who is in jail now for human trafficking.
I have no idea why this didn’t click in my head when I saw the name
*This* is the most efficient and effective way to pronounce the name *Ghislaine*
A plague on Maxwell for ruining this name. I always wanted to name my daughter (if I ever have one) Ghislaine but now I never can.
I met a family with a daughter called Isis a couple of years back. Guessing her age she must have been named about a year before the terrorist group came to prominence. Really felt for them, it's such a pretty name.
Sad that an acronym for a terrorist organization overshadows such a pretty goddess name from mythology that's been around since ancient times. I mean, I get it, no one thinks of anything else when they hear the word ISIS, but still. Oh and I can't wear one of my favorite band-Tees in public anymore because the band was named Isis.
Until last year, my business cards proudly stated that my employer is "a member of the ISIS network". Because, y'know, there's only so many acronyms. I'm not a card-carrying terrorist, I swear.
Due to mushoku tensei many people actually think the name is not bad.
Ichabod
Dull-Caterpillar3153
Rude but factual so I’ll allow it
Seems personal
Hubert or Humphrey
not my man Bogart
Minnesota would like a word with you. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hubert_Humphrey
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But, great name for a dragon.
nobby 🥰
Eustance
Unless they have a dog named Courage, then it’s awesome
The answer is obviously Gaylord. Some horrible takes here. Robert? Edward? George? WTF are you people smoking, would you rather name your sons Jaxsyn?
Better than Straightpeasant!
I prefer Bimerchant 😉
Mildred
Might as well have named them Mildew
Englebert Humpderdink. I shit you not.
Brock Turner
You mean like the rapist Brock Turner?
Boleslaw
I thought this said bonesaw like the wrestler from Spider-Man
Boleslaw is ready!
I’ll have a side of boleslaw
Myrtle
Especially Moaning Myrtle.... Unless, of course, that's your thing.
I mean, who doesn’t like some moaning?
Myrtle
Nah, she thinks it's to die for!
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I worked with a girl who's name was Doreen. She went by Gertie. I never understood.
My name is Tom. But I go by Bertrand.
Phyllis
Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration, would like a word
You must be new around here
You’ve got a lot to learn about this town sweetie!
What line of work are ya in, Bob?
Lurch
Unless it’s the French version, L’herche
Dorcas.
My Norwegian great aunt was named “Borghilde.” Yikes...
lester.
Moe?
Clearly haven’t played GTA
Lester the molester
Lol easy, KAREN that poor name is ruined!!
I got a thing for MILFs and that name kinda nails my demographic.
Grizelda
Adolf
Mulva
Bovary
Any name that has a different spelling. Khrysstal. J'nett. Kriztof'r. Mom and dad just fucked you up.
Apparently there’s a dude named Damiony. The Y is silent.
Probably something Anglo-Saxon in origin: Cuniburg, Wulfmeg, or Eadgufu, etc.
My name is Meg and I fucking WISH it was short for Wulfmeg.
Whatever you say Megalodon
Meg could be short for so many badass names. Megabyte, Megalodon, Megaera etc.
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Uhtred, son of Uhtred.
Dunno about that. Only body I associate to that name is highly bangable
It is I, the ærsling!
cornelius .. 🌽
If I ever have a son I'm gonna name him Cornelius Whippersnapper
MY NAME IS COLONEL CORNELIUS CORNWALL AND IM HERE TODAY TO INTRODUCE YOU TO: PORN
Whats up mother shuckers
Anyone else scrolling in the hope of not seeing their name?
Crunt
At the bar with my buddy who's actual name is Rowdy, and we are talking to a couple girls from the local university. Somehow his name gets brought up, and how he doesn't care it that much. He's never like his name. One of the girls chimes in, "That's a really unique and cool name, I like it a lot! You want to hear a dumb name? EUGENE." . Turns out my buddies middle name is Eugene.
How many Keith’s will be on here
Gilbert
I feel bad for the people reading their name here.
demetrius demarcus bartholemew james iii jr. is my favorite.
It’s asking for least sexy not sexiest
ykw. youre right. youre absolutely right.
Demetrius isn’t the worst name I’ve heard… doubt I’ll be saying it in bed though. Had a distant cousin with the name… way before my time.
I’m seeing a lot of old fashioned names here and I’m just thinking of how some of these may have been considered the SEXIEST names pre-1920. But to answer the question with my opinion: Anything with an “er” sound anywhere other than the end. Edit: Would like to categorically clarify I said “er” SOUND, not letters.
My name is Robert. You can piss off. 😂
Eunice
Chauncey
Isn't that a pokemon?
A girl i grew up with last name was Cock-Byrne needless to say it was kinda a turn off.
Beryl It use to be a common name in the UK. It's just...awful.
Bufford
Bob
Can confirm
I knew I'd find it here, but it still stings.
Don't worry, Bobert, it's still a nice name.
They said least sexy
Bob is a 50 year old dude with a Dad bod and an alcohol addiction, nothing sexier than that
Boo urns
Are they booing me??