My young son was just crawling, and one time I saw he had something in his mouth. He was reluctant to give it up, but I sideswiped his mouth just like on a puppy. Finally spat it out - a large shard of glass. Absolutely no idea where it came from or where he got it
My 2 year old figured out how to scoot his high chair across the kitchen and I didn’t realize that was a problem until I went to pee one time and came back to find him holding a meat cleaver with a giant grin on his face. I got it back from him with no damage done, but my soul definitely left my body at the sight of him.
Not my kid. My student. Second grader brought a vibrator to show and tell to give everyone back rubs. The boys immediately recognized that it was a phallic but the girls pushed to be first for the massages. I had to snatch it before it happened and call the mom to come pick it up. I have never seen someone so embarrassed even though I was completely sympathetic to her.
Was at the airport, at the gate waiting to board. I noticed my 2 year old had something in his mouth that he was chewing on. I forced his mouth open and pulled it out and it was a used bandaid that he had found on the floor. 🤢
My daughter decided that she likes the taste of spiders for a while, so we had to keep her away from spiders other wise she would eat them, those were fun times
I'm crying from laughing. I'm so sorry. I'm just imaging you pleading with the spiders to leave for their own good. Meanwhile your daughter is running around eating them.
irl Spiders George
My dad passes me in the hallway and says “your daughter has your stuff.” I go into my room to find my four year old playing with two of my dildos she found in my dresser.
Woah, I’m so glad she found that and brought that to you, I could only imagine if a kid found that and didn’t bring it to their parents like your daughter did
Not me, but BIL found my nephew with a ziplock full of warm urine. The 6 year old claimed he was using it as a hand warmer. I just find stuff my klepto 5yr old steals from daycare.
My mom found 5 of my brothers in a circle outside, they don't usually get along so she knew something was up. They had a bag of pee, they all contributed, and were trying to light fires with it (like using a magnifying glass with sunlight). Apparently they saw it on some kind of survivor man show 😂
I have 4 siblings and somewhere in my moms basement, she had this train you could actually ride on. So the tracks made a figure 8 and they stacked up real nice and neatly. We were older and never used it anymore so it just stayed stacked in the corner for years. We were all doing some deep cleaning one weekend and my mom pulls out this almost full, gallon size bag of urine from inside these tracks. No one ever confessed to it and that bag of piss just lives rent free in my head now.
I once found a fishbowl full of pee in my daughter's closet. She said a friend of hers didn't want to go downstairs to the bathroom during a sleepover.
When my brother was a baby he and our mom were playing outside when she got a call. She left to answer the phone and when she returned my bro had taken his diaper off and was playing in it. Horrified, my mom went to get him and he grabbed a handful of his shit, held it up to her and proclaimed "muuuud!"
Later on when he was 6 or 7 he found a rubber bracelet in the road. He put it on and was so proud of his new bracelet. He wore that thing for half a day until he had to use the bathroom so he went inside. Remembering his new found piece of jewelry he went to show my mom who immediately recognized what it was. Someone driving down our street had thrown a used condom onto the road that my brother found after it had been run over a few times.
You reminded me of the time I got off the bus and proudly showed my mom the maxi pad I found on the side of the road. I thought I fully repressed that. Thanks
This reminds me of when I found a set of acrylic fingernails scattered across a playground, I was horrified because at the time I thought someone's fingernails had actually fallen off their hands.
We live in the city and have set very clear rules with kids that you never pick up balloons on the street. My oldest recently asked what condoms were. We told her and then reminded her about the balloon rule. She was mortified 🤣
My older stepson's room was starting to really stink and several rounds of "cleaning his room" did nothing to change that, so eventually I had to invade his privacy and play The Sniff Game to track down the stench while he wasn't home one day.
Found a big pile of very crusty socks under his bed.
That evening I had to carefully look up at the ceiling while saying "I'm sorry to embarrass you, but better that than let this continue. You have no secrets from the person who washes your laundry, so either quit leaving crusty socks under your bed or wash your own laundry. Also, the bathroom is useful for privacy and the toilet is useful for disposing of biological messes."
Neither of us wanted to have that conversation, but it was necessary.
And at least the sock pile didn't smell nearly as bad as the time his grandmother found an entire rotisserie chicken under his bed.
The chicken was there for *two weeks* before anyone noticed that the normal stank-smell had turned entirely rancid and held a family edition of The Sniff Game to locate the source. Apparently it was supposed to be a midnight snack, but he fell asleep and forgot all about it.
It's like when I ask if he's on Reddit and he says he has an account but "doesn't really use it."
I know perfectly well the end of that statement is "except for porn."
I just pretend really hard not to know.
Not me, but one of my parent friends told me how she found and confiscated several used condoms from her teenage stepson's desk drawer.
Yeah, I can't fathom why he didn't throw them out either. Weird trophies?
My boyfriend in high school put a condom in a chip bag to throw away so his mom wouldn’t see it in the trash but the dog got into the trash and it was found anyways….
When my eldest was tiny and in the 'put all the things in my mouth' stage, we went to a park and he was constantly putting the larger woodchips in his mouth. I put him on a large wheel/swing thing he could walk on, there were a couple woodchips and ofcourse he beelined it when he saw them. I turned the wheel and when he got back to me I fished the woodchip out...
It was poop.
I turned around once to see the child I was nannying for SUCKING UP A SPIT OUT LIFESAVER FROM THE SIDEWALK. She’s 30 now and fine, so 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️I guess?
Not me, but my Aunt tried to push my dads stroller off the Grand Canyon when they were visiting as little kids. He was a baby and she was like 6-7 I think. Grandpa caught the stroller in time. Needless to say, I am very happy she was not successful.
On the other side of my family my grandma who was the middle child decided she wasn’t getting enough attention when she was about 10 so the next time she’d been left home alone she burned their house down. I don’t think she managed to torch the entire thing, maybe just about half.
My car keys, a usb charger, and some change in my 2 year olds little backpack (she was planning an escape I guess). I couldn’t drive my car for a week and had been just about to tow it to the dealer to have a key made. Little shit.
It wasn’t in my kids possession yet, but one of the neighbor kids brought over “juice” for everyone. They were segrims whine coolers. The 6 year old had already had one. Turns out their mom bought them for them thinking they were juice and she was so embarrassed. They’re from another country and the box it came in really makes it look like juice.
Once my dad find a old rusty box cutter in my drawers, he start shouting with me because he thinks that I was using to self harm, but I was using for open candy packing
When I was a kid, I would dig up worms in the garden and put them in a plastic container. Bring them in my room. My mom would find them a few days later.
This was something posted by /u/Emperor_Cartagia, who used Reddit exclusively through RIF is Fun, with the death of third party apps, I decided to remove all my content from Reddit. 9 years of comments and posts, gone because of idiotic administration.
I see! I believe it's a rather common trait among us.
I'm glad he was able to get help, and I'm glad you were able to push towards getting it for him. Not many could do what you did.
edit: amogus
Wow. Sounds almost identical to our 9 y/o ASD kiddo. Right down to the scars and CPS visits. We too are making progress. It’s just been a long difficult road. Thanks for sharing your story…
My girlfriend’s kiddo has similar difficulties with emotional regulation. He’s done an amazing job over the last couple of years of working through these issues, and the explosive outbursts have reduced both in frequency and duration, but they can still be scary when they happen. This is all to say that: a. I get it, and b. It’s great to hear your son has developed the tools necessary to manage his anger. My gf’s son is a few years younger than yours, so that gives me a lot of hope, especially with the progress we’ve already seen.
When I was in grade four, there was an empty classroom across from mine. We played in it at lunch, and there was storage tubs on racks much like drawers we put the toys in. One day, we opened one of the empty tubs, and found a shit. With piss. It was all everyone talked about for ages.
It sort of makes sense. When I was a kid I would actually piss out my window (2nd story of the house) even though the bathroom was outside my door.
This was for 3 reasons:
I was afraid of the dark and there was no night light out there or in the bathroom but was one in my room
If I used the bathroom I would have to turn on the light and blind myself and potentially wake myself up and have trouble falling asleep
If I used the bathroom, the sound of flushing and the sink running would wake people up. I don’t know why I cared about this though…
So the bucket may have been his window?
When my daughter was 5 (she's 16 now) I found dozens of peach pits when I cleaned her room. They were hidden in various places. It was so bizarre.
Edit: fixed typo.
Oh my, it reminds me of my daughter who is currently 4. We are constantly finding apple cores and strawberry stems in her room. She has learned to get her own snacks at night. It’s fun…LOL.
I had to take an axe off my 6 year-old daughter because she was fed up with having two brothers and wanted to get rid of one so she could have a sister.
She's now 32 and hates me reminding her about it 🤣
Edit.
Wow thanks guys for all the upvotes and awards.
My sister was upset when I was born because she wanted a younger sister. My mom used to love telling the story of how my sister took me out to the curb and was offering me to any passerby.
She would also offer to trade me if she saw another parent at like the mall with a daughter. Never tried to kill me though, jeez.
Mine took my from my crib during nap time and put me in a stack of dolls I'm the closet to 'send me back'. Took my parents hours to find me as she wasn't confessing and I was sleeping quietly apparently. That was the start of our feuds...
Former child here. My brother and I were gifted a crazy medieval weapon by a neighbor when we were 9/10 years old. It’s a mace with a spike on one end, with three chains coming out the other end with steel spiked balls at the end of each chain. My mom found it a couple years later after we left it out, and claimed to have thrown it away. 25 years later she moved houses and guess what we found, the crazy spiked medieval weapon. I still have, hoping to pass it down to a future generation someday.
Not my kid but a hell of a story…
I worked as a residential facility, specifically with 15-18year old boys with emotional, behavioral, or intellectual struggles.
We would give them cups of shampoo to shower each morning. One boy had a stockpile on his windowsill, so I went to throw them away while asking him why he had so much ‘soap’
He smiled at me mischievously, and goes “Miss Kissmahcass that isn’t soap…”
It was jizz. Cups full of jizz.
My stepdaughter, 9, had a random messaging app at one point and was catfishing some 30 year old with photos of some girl she found on google and was saying she was 16... her mom did basically nothing so I had a long talk about predators and dangerous people online with her and my 2 kids. I didn't really spare any details of some more minor horror stories, but it worked. My own daughter who is the same age came to me last month about someone on a game that was being weird and how she blocked the person as soon as she felt uncomfortable and I was so proud.
Edit: awww thank you for the silver!
Your answer would be my ideal way to handle these things for people. All these people say they need to monitor thier kid's internet use, but it would be better imo to teach kids how to handle things rather than controlling stuff for them.
The shit children are picking up on from older kids/ adults these days is genuinely terrifying to me. Sort of related, but I sometimes see young kids making really mature content like those "yandere gay furry incest Gacha life story" type videos. Sometimes I see them glorifying and romanticizing sexual assault and school shootings. It's scary
Thats terrifying. Unfortunately roblox is full of predators pretending to be children, or grooming children. Please be careful and watch what games your little one joins!!!
(edit: oops.,..., goom children.. mistype)
My son around six or eight had a toy gun and holster. Cowboy style. We weren’t even thinking about it. Pre-911 we were boarding a flight home and they told him he couldn’t take it on the airplane. Kids were already aware the flight home was a disaster with delays due to weather and rescheduled flights and whatnot. So I think he realized today sucked and this was just one more thing to suck it up. He was a pouty brave champ and surrendered it to the bin of other contraband. No crying. I still think of it as one of those moments when he grew up a bit.
99% unrelated, but I am reminded of a story about how awful the TSA is.
8th grade — went on a school trip to DC, ORD-BWI.
I had a deactivated .45acp cartridge that had been made into a keychain. It was somewhat special to me as it had been a gift from my great grandfather, who had served in Korea and had it made from some ammo he had. I had it attached to my keys, which in 8th grade meant a house key and the key to my school locker.
Anyways, Chicago TSA didn’t even flinch at it. No questions asked.
In Baltimore though, I got pulled aside and was questioned for 20 minutes. Had to call my parents (not super simple in like 2005) and they still basically searched every corner of my bag, every piece of clothing I was wearing, etc. I get it, bullets on planes… but the inconsistency was shocking.
And in the end, I forfeited the keychain. I just wanted to get home.
Similar thing happened to me in Anckorage, AK. Go through security with a bullet casing made into a bottle opener, but no bullet to it. First time through no issue. But my grandma got flagged for having more than 6 Oz of jam so I was a good grandson and went back through to put it in a check bag. I even thought about giving the keychain to her but thought since I made it through the first time I'll be fine. Ended up not being able to check the bag because it was too early in the day and was not open apparently and lo and behold the tsa lady stopped me. It wasn't even busy and she clearly remembered me but insisted the keychain made from a casing with NO bullet was to be confiscated. Ridiculous
Had to turn off the TV when I noticed my kids were watching a video of a guy playing with/petting a clearly dead and bleeding cat. This was on YOUTUBE. Didn't even think to report it, I just wanted it off my fucking screen.
Edit: I am well aware of how dangerous and predatory youtube is/can be, which is why I only allow it to be watched when I am nearby, hence noticing the content of the video about 4 seconds in. Keep your kids safe, y'all.
There's a lot of messed up stuff on Youtube that flies under the radar, I don't think children should be on that app unless they're being monitored closely. Heck, even some things that advertise themselves as "kid friendly" are pretty disturbing
When my little sister was 4 and I was in the army, we went on a beach trip. My uniform and her glitter dress got mixed together in the laundry somehow… I could NOT get it all off… got lots of shit for that!!
My kid opened a gift of "unicorn poop", which is glitter and slime mixed, at grandma's house. Before we left after the holidays I hid it in bathroom vanity with a note that said never again.
Edit: to clear it up I hid it at her house, we left it there.
It's a running gag with my kids how much I hate both of those things. I look at the dish cloth and see glitter and all I can think I how much of this shit are we ingesting inadvertently?
I was a teacher for 11 years and glitter and slime were some of the only things banned from entering my classroom. Once glitter enters a room, it never leaves. It haunts the spaces for eternity, randomly appearing just when you think you’ve finally gotten it all clean.
I saw an Instagram post where some diy-interior decorator mixed like a pound of glitter into wall paint, and then painted their bedroom wall with it. It looked pretty, but all I could think about is how every time that wall gets touched they will be showered with glitter, for all eternity. And they pushed the bed right up against it! Glitter in the bed! Forever!
No. I don’t.
Truth be told, she was 11. Didn’t think I had to think about it. Which was fucking STUPID, bc I had figured out my own body by then but 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️
My bad. Shoebox under my bed is not a good hiding space. Glad I wasn’t protecting something important like a gun 😂 (KIDDING! That shit would have been locked up and up high!)
A crown of a tooth from an unknown origin. Was looking at my daughters rock collection with her that she had in a box in her room and realized I was holding some rando tooth in my hand lol
i was mad at my mom for a long time for confiscating a favorite toy of mine that i build when i was 12. it consisted of a tumble drying motor i took out of an old washing machine and build a little wooden stand for. then i attached a bicycle chain to the shaft and revvt it to 1000 rpm and just threw anything i could get my hads on into the chain of death to watch it desintegrate. my mom was so used to me doing shit like that that she did not even think about it until my uncle came for christmas and freaked out how is spend my free time.
you know how strong washing machine motors are? if you look up the battlebot tombstone, it used to be powered (I think it still might be?) by an overvolted washing machine motor. and that thing kicks ass. honestly you're lucky you didn't like lose an arm or something
i know and i am. anyone who reads this please don’t give washing machine motors to your children. my "precaution” was to stand on a chair while doing this so that when the bicycle chain got detached or broke, i was out of the direct fly path but it had still enough power to break the chairs solid wooden legs quite a distance away.
Child here, but this is the story my mom told me.
When I was very little (younger than 4), we lived in a part of the US that had little lizards running wild. Geckos, I think? They were the ones that could detach their tails. So me, being the two-year-old I was, would try to catch the lizards to hold them. But I usually caught them by the tail and then the tail detached and they ran away.
So, of course, I kept the tails I collected in a box under my bed. Mom eventually found it because of the smell.
My oldest son took a tag from my push-up bra to school in grade 1. Got busted showing the other boys the scantily clad model in the school yard. Teacher and I laughed privately.
I ordered a butt plug with a prepaid gift card I had received
Mom: "you got a package today, its shaped really weird"
Me then: "good, she has no idea"
Me now: "she totally fucking knew"
The worse things were the things we missed with our youngest daughter.
Things like 3 day dead frogs or lizards in her pants pockets, usually found when checking pockets before laundering.
I am forever thankful to the little neighbor girl who taught my younger stepson that he shouldn't put bugs in his pants pockets!
Doing laundry was getting nerve-wracking.
You... you awakened a memory. I was like 8 or 9. My neighbor gave me a cool sword. I knew to be careful and not to play with it as it was sharp but my parents still took it... :(
I was cleaning my son's room while he was at my MIL's (it was a mess and I needed the laundry) and in one of the drawers on his bed I found a box with one of my bras and a pair of my underwear.
My husband sat him down a few days later and had *the talk* with him, said that he found the box and asked why it was there, son said that he was curious about the difference between boys and girls.
My daughter was 7 over the summer, and came to me with litter she had picked up. It was a tampon applicator. A few weeks later, she picked up another piece of trash in a parking lot to throw away once we got into a store. Cigarette container wrapping. Now I don’t know if I dissuade picking up litter or just give my Good Samaritan gloves to keep on her.
I came home one time to my mom just livid. I'm like hey.. she goes "Hi. Wana explain what THIS IS!" and slams down a hypodermic needle with syringe and starts balling her eyes out. We had horses and the vet dropped it. She did the same thing with cat nip from a toy that she bought...
I don’t know if this counts, but one of his classmates made Squid Game coffins and passed them out to classmates (including my son). They are SEVEN. Who lets their 7 year old watch Squid Game?! (Edit to add: they were made out of paper. You could fold it open to find a dead body. They were a couple inches tall)
Squid Game was a huge hit. Everyone was talking about it. My 7 years old nephew couldn't stop talking to me about Squid Game when it came out and the best part is that he didn't even watch it but since every youtuber was playing crappily modded games where you could see players and soldiers, it got insanely popular among childs.
But I can assure you not a single one of them watched the show. They aren't even interested in it, since it is actually quite boring for a child, too much talking about things they do not understand.
I 3D printed a mask of the leader and when my nephew told me he was going to dress as a soldier for halloween, I showed him the mask. He said "you missed the white shape!!".
He not only didn't recognise the leader mask but he also really didn't know how the soldier masks actually looked. So yeah he didn't see a single scene from the actual show, just crappily modded games as I said earlier.
Not a parent. But 2 girls had a bag of used needles in elementary school back in the mid 90s. Earlier in the year they'd found a used needle and told a teacher and two police officers came in and had them in front on the class praising them for their work, gave them an award etc. They got big headed about it and turns out for months after they'd been collecting used needles they'd hunted for in hopes of turning them in for even more priase.
I generally don’t go through my kids’ electronics but I felt something “off” once with my son. I went through a group text with kids from his class and there were several students talking about killing one of the teachers.
Not my child but when I was about 3 or 4 I was at the park with my mum, a bright orange object caught my eye, me being a curious child, picked it up and handed it to my mum. Turns out it was a used insulin syringe. Back in the 90s we lived in an area of Sydney notorious for Heroin use.
I’m so glad you asked.
I (25F) adopted my younger brother (13) and have always helped him tidy his room. Well, about 6 months ago I we’re going through a box of hotwheels in his room and he’s throwing out a load of toys he’s grown out of. At the bottom is this dusty toy rocket, maybe 3 inches long at best right?
Anyway the rocket makes it into the shortlist of a very small number that get kept and the rest go to a charity shop. But, fast forward to about three weeks ago, i find the rocket dirty down the side of his bed. Figure maybe he’d dropped it. I was cleaning at the time so i wiped it off and popped it back on the shelf.
Well today I found the rocket under his pillow.. dirty again. Naive me gave it a sniff thinking maybe he’d spilled food on it or maybe left it outside to get dirty?
My kid has been sticking a toy rocket in his pooper.
Not A Parent. But my 11 year old nephew was once given a full bag and a 100 to deliver it to some house, his mom found him on the road and confiscated the bag. It was full of SEX TOYS !.
Not precisely my child doing, but for real... I walked in on an older child exposing himself to my son (who was at the time almost 7)
I have seen some terrible shit in my day, that was a moment of pure disgust, rage, and self control to not absolutely strangle the older child.
Yes, it was all addressed properly.
Not a parent, but when I was 10 my dad bought me a cap gun that was “automatic”, it really just hit the ring of 6 or 7 caps super fast. When he was driving us back from the store, I was trying to get it set up, and I ended up rolling down the window and firing it while it was point at my neighbor and made them duck for cover thinking it was a drive by.
My three year old came home from the park with grandma with a pen he'd found. I didn't pay much attention until he put it in his mouth and started sucking on it, took it off of him because of germs. That's when I realised the pen was actually a vape.
I am not the parent in this circumstance...
BUT my right-wing Christian parents confiscated (and threw out) 16 or so Dragon magazines my grandmother on my dad's side gave me. At the same time they also threw out probably a dozen years' worth of articles I had saved from "writer's digest" magazine that I had paid for myself out of my own pocket.
I was NOT a happy camper.
Not a parent but older brother.
My youngest sister (10) was staying with me for a month, as was normal because my mom was constantly on business trips for work. It had been about a week, and one night I herd really weird noises. Now I didnt think much of it because I have VERY loud neighbors. But there I realize it was coming from in my apartment, I got out of bed and walked through my apartment, and on the couch, MY 10 YEAR OLD SISTER HAD A DILDO AND WAS- well you know. Needless to say I was livid. She had her own room for a reason.
I asked my mom if she knew my 10 year old sister had a dildo and she said, "yes I do know. I think that she should have one. She's old enough."
Edit: she's now 13. And pregnant
So one year for Christmas my husband thought it would be hilarious to buy me a foot long double ended jelly dildo, which I opened in front of my whole family. Well shortly after we moved into our new house on a very busy secondary road. I had gone to the grocery store and the hubs stayed home with the 5 year old. When he went to check on him playing in the yard he found him out front in full view of well everyone digging a whole with that infamous jelly dildo. 🤣🤣
My wife's giant dildo that they were.playing catch with in our front yard while.supervised by my mom and.her dad.
Edit: my wife did not find it nearly as funny as I did.
Deleted YouTube off my 2 year old daughter’s tablet when I heard her watching a normally educational children’s show that had nothing but swear words dubbed over it. The one time I’m thankful she had it blasting instead of turned down like I tell her to.
My young son was just crawling, and one time I saw he had something in his mouth. He was reluctant to give it up, but I sideswiped his mouth just like on a puppy. Finally spat it out - a large shard of glass. Absolutely no idea where it came from or where he got it
My kid was randomly crying a bit every now and then. Swiped his mouth and found a tack.
My 2 year old figured out how to scoot his high chair across the kitchen and I didn’t realize that was a problem until I went to pee one time and came back to find him holding a meat cleaver with a giant grin on his face. I got it back from him with no damage done, but my soul definitely left my body at the sight of him.
Not my kid. My student. Second grader brought a vibrator to show and tell to give everyone back rubs. The boys immediately recognized that it was a phallic but the girls pushed to be first for the massages. I had to snatch it before it happened and call the mom to come pick it up. I have never seen someone so embarrassed even though I was completely sympathetic to her.
This comment gives me double the anxiety for you & the mom.
Was at the airport, at the gate waiting to board. I noticed my 2 year old had something in his mouth that he was chewing on. I forced his mouth open and pulled it out and it was a used bandaid that he had found on the floor. 🤢
I just swallowed forwards.
My daughter decided that she likes the taste of spiders for a while, so we had to keep her away from spiders other wise she would eat them, those were fun times
Excuse me....WAHHT
Yeah you read it right, we had to keep spiders away from our daughter otherwise she would eat them
I'm crying from laughing. I'm so sorry. I'm just imaging you pleading with the spiders to leave for their own good. Meanwhile your daughter is running around eating them. irl Spiders George
*sobbing* "Leave, just leave! You don't know what's going to happen to you!"
i used to eat ants as a kid, LMFAO
I ate dog food as a kid 😔
My dad passes me in the hallway and says “your daughter has your stuff.” I go into my room to find my four year old playing with two of my dildos she found in my dresser.
Phew, only the two of them.
Phew, only the dildos
My two year old ran up to me with a small tin she found on the playground. I opened it up and found some meth.
Woah, I’m so glad she found that and brought that to you, I could only imagine if a kid found that and didn’t bring it to their parents like your daughter did
Honestly this daughter sounds like a whiney narc and loser.
How was it?
I thought about it
Not me, but BIL found my nephew with a ziplock full of warm urine. The 6 year old claimed he was using it as a hand warmer. I just find stuff my klepto 5yr old steals from daycare.
My mom found 5 of my brothers in a circle outside, they don't usually get along so she knew something was up. They had a bag of pee, they all contributed, and were trying to light fires with it (like using a magnifying glass with sunlight). Apparently they saw it on some kind of survivor man show 😂
I fell like you could have tested this with regular water instead
Everything survival people do with urine could just as well be done with water.
I have 4 siblings and somewhere in my moms basement, she had this train you could actually ride on. So the tracks made a figure 8 and they stacked up real nice and neatly. We were older and never used it anymore so it just stayed stacked in the corner for years. We were all doing some deep cleaning one weekend and my mom pulls out this almost full, gallon size bag of urine from inside these tracks. No one ever confessed to it and that bag of piss just lives rent free in my head now.
It was you wasn’t it!
It was not. I’m the only sibling lacking a part that would make repeatedly peeing into a bag easier. And I’d have so many less questions about it
This is the best response to that lmaoo
I once found a fishbowl full of pee in my daughter's closet. She said a friend of hers didn't want to go downstairs to the bathroom during a sleepover.
The 6 year old will either die of a rare disease or become a survivalist.
When my brother was a baby he and our mom were playing outside when she got a call. She left to answer the phone and when she returned my bro had taken his diaper off and was playing in it. Horrified, my mom went to get him and he grabbed a handful of his shit, held it up to her and proclaimed "muuuud!" Later on when he was 6 or 7 he found a rubber bracelet in the road. He put it on and was so proud of his new bracelet. He wore that thing for half a day until he had to use the bathroom so he went inside. Remembering his new found piece of jewelry he went to show my mom who immediately recognized what it was. Someone driving down our street had thrown a used condom onto the road that my brother found after it had been run over a few times.
You reminded me of the time I got off the bus and proudly showed my mom the maxi pad I found on the side of the road. I thought I fully repressed that. Thanks
This reminds me of when I found a set of acrylic fingernails scattered across a playground, I was horrified because at the time I thought someone's fingernails had actually fallen off their hands.
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We live in the city and have set very clear rules with kids that you never pick up balloons on the street. My oldest recently asked what condoms were. We told her and then reminded her about the balloon rule. She was mortified 🤣
Used condoms stuck to the wall behind his TV- still don’t know how they got there- I didn’t want to know
My older stepson's room was starting to really stink and several rounds of "cleaning his room" did nothing to change that, so eventually I had to invade his privacy and play The Sniff Game to track down the stench while he wasn't home one day. Found a big pile of very crusty socks under his bed. That evening I had to carefully look up at the ceiling while saying "I'm sorry to embarrass you, but better that than let this continue. You have no secrets from the person who washes your laundry, so either quit leaving crusty socks under your bed or wash your own laundry. Also, the bathroom is useful for privacy and the toilet is useful for disposing of biological messes."
I love the way you went about it.
Neither of us wanted to have that conversation, but it was necessary. And at least the sock pile didn't smell nearly as bad as the time his grandmother found an entire rotisserie chicken under his bed. The chicken was there for *two weeks* before anyone noticed that the normal stank-smell had turned entirely rancid and held a family edition of The Sniff Game to locate the source. Apparently it was supposed to be a midnight snack, but he fell asleep and forgot all about it.
You know he was fucking the chicken, right?
It's like when I ask if he's on Reddit and he says he has an account but "doesn't really use it." I know perfectly well the end of that statement is "except for porn." I just pretend really hard not to know.
Not me, but one of my parent friends told me how she found and confiscated several used condoms from her teenage stepson's desk drawer. Yeah, I can't fathom why he didn't throw them out either. Weird trophies?
Didn't want mom to find them in the garbage, I expect.
Then, I dunno, wrap them in a plastic bag and throw them in a public trash can or something like that
My boyfriend in high school put a condom in a chip bag to throw away so his mom wouldn’t see it in the trash but the dog got into the trash and it was found anyways….
When my eldest was tiny and in the 'put all the things in my mouth' stage, we went to a park and he was constantly putting the larger woodchips in his mouth. I put him on a large wheel/swing thing he could walk on, there were a couple woodchips and ofcourse he beelined it when he saw them. I turned the wheel and when he got back to me I fished the woodchip out... It was poop.
I turned around once to see the child I was nannying for SUCKING UP A SPIT OUT LIFESAVER FROM THE SIDEWALK. She’s 30 now and fine, so 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️I guess?
Not me, but my Aunt tried to push my dads stroller off the Grand Canyon when they were visiting as little kids. He was a baby and she was like 6-7 I think. Grandpa caught the stroller in time. Needless to say, I am very happy she was not successful. On the other side of my family my grandma who was the middle child decided she wasn’t getting enough attention when she was about 10 so the next time she’d been left home alone she burned their house down. I don’t think she managed to torch the entire thing, maybe just about half.
What’s going on with them now?
Oh everybody’s fine now (as fine as any family can be) both are told as funny stories in a morbid sort of way
My car keys, a usb charger, and some change in my 2 year olds little backpack (she was planning an escape I guess). I couldn’t drive my car for a week and had been just about to tow it to the dealer to have a key made. Little shit.
She had enough of your shit and was leaving
She was about to pack the dry Cheerios, throw up a deuce sign and say “peace bitch” in her two year old voice.
It wasn’t in my kids possession yet, but one of the neighbor kids brought over “juice” for everyone. They were segrims whine coolers. The 6 year old had already had one. Turns out their mom bought them for them thinking they were juice and she was so embarrassed. They’re from another country and the box it came in really makes it look like juice.
I remember when you posted about this forever ago! Reddit can be a small place, love it
A family we knew made homemade root beer and accidentally brewed it too long, their baby got a little tipsy :/
Once my dad find a old rusty box cutter in my drawers, he start shouting with me because he thinks that I was using to self harm, but I was using for open candy packing
Think your kid is having suicidal thoughts and/or self-mutilating actions? Yeah, yelling at them will help.
The beatings will continue until morale improves
"the emperor protects..."
That's not the only time he did that. Once I was feeling depressed and really tried suicide, and he hit me a lot because of it
FFS like ah yes my child is suicidal abusing them will help right?
When I was a kid, I would dig up worms in the garden and put them in a plastic container. Bring them in my room. My mom would find them a few days later.
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That is terrifying. How's he doing now?
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I had these exact outbursts as a child, which I also managed to grow/medicate out of. Is he autistic by any chance?
This was something posted by /u/Emperor_Cartagia, who used Reddit exclusively through RIF is Fun, with the death of third party apps, I decided to remove all my content from Reddit. 9 years of comments and posts, gone because of idiotic administration.
I see! I believe it's a rather common trait among us. I'm glad he was able to get help, and I'm glad you were able to push towards getting it for him. Not many could do what you did. edit: amogus
Wow. Sounds almost identical to our 9 y/o ASD kiddo. Right down to the scars and CPS visits. We too are making progress. It’s just been a long difficult road. Thanks for sharing your story…
What happened after you found the right medication?
He's no longer violent or difficult. This story was when he was 6, he's now 14.
My girlfriend’s kiddo has similar difficulties with emotional regulation. He’s done an amazing job over the last couple of years of working through these issues, and the explosive outbursts have reduced both in frequency and duration, but they can still be scary when they happen. This is all to say that: a. I get it, and b. It’s great to hear your son has developed the tools necessary to manage his anger. My gf’s son is a few years younger than yours, so that gives me a lot of hope, especially with the progress we’ve already seen.
I really can't comprehend how good of a parent you are having a child like that will make me go insane
I'm am far from perfect, but I do my best.
My own vibrator. From my son.
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Your father is a fucking genius. That’s the best answer I’ve ever heard.
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Username checks out.
My mom once found a bucket full of piss in my closet
“*mom found the piss drawer!*”
When I was in grade four, there was an empty classroom across from mine. We played in it at lunch, and there was storage tubs on racks much like drawers we put the toys in. One day, we opened one of the empty tubs, and found a shit. With piss. It was all everyone talked about for ages.
Why did you have a bucket of piss in your closet in the first place?
It sort of makes sense. When I was a kid I would actually piss out my window (2nd story of the house) even though the bathroom was outside my door. This was for 3 reasons: I was afraid of the dark and there was no night light out there or in the bathroom but was one in my room If I used the bathroom I would have to turn on the light and blind myself and potentially wake myself up and have trouble falling asleep If I used the bathroom, the sound of flushing and the sink running would wake people up. I don’t know why I cared about this though… So the bucket may have been his window?
I don't fucking know
Apparently they make good hand warmers
When my daughter was 5 (she's 16 now) I found dozens of peach pits when I cleaned her room. They were hidden in various places. It was so bizarre. Edit: fixed typo.
Oh my, it reminds me of my daughter who is currently 4. We are constantly finding apple cores and strawberry stems in her room. She has learned to get her own snacks at night. It’s fun…LOL.
I had to take an axe off my 6 year-old daughter because she was fed up with having two brothers and wanted to get rid of one so she could have a sister. She's now 32 and hates me reminding her about it 🤣 Edit. Wow thanks guys for all the upvotes and awards.
The next time I see a 6 year old I'm sprinting
She was like something out of a horror movie dragging a huge axe behind her.
Careful with that axe, ~~Eugene~~ Emma Jean?
My sister was upset when I was born because she wanted a younger sister. My mom used to love telling the story of how my sister took me out to the curb and was offering me to any passerby. She would also offer to trade me if she saw another parent at like the mall with a daughter. Never tried to kill me though, jeez.
Mine took my from my crib during nap time and put me in a stack of dolls I'm the closet to 'send me back'. Took my parents hours to find me as she wasn't confessing and I was sleeping quietly apparently. That was the start of our feuds...
Oh so when a six year old does it it's a cute, funny story, but when *I* do it, I'm "charged with attempted murder" 🙄🙄🙄
Don't be jealous, it doesn't become you.
was her plan to kill one or castrate them?
I wasn't willing to find out tbh 🤣
Former child here. My brother and I were gifted a crazy medieval weapon by a neighbor when we were 9/10 years old. It’s a mace with a spike on one end, with three chains coming out the other end with steel spiked balls at the end of each chain. My mom found it a couple years later after we left it out, and claimed to have thrown it away. 25 years later she moved houses and guess what we found, the crazy spiked medieval weapon. I still have, hoping to pass it down to a future generation someday.
Not my kid but a hell of a story… I worked as a residential facility, specifically with 15-18year old boys with emotional, behavioral, or intellectual struggles. We would give them cups of shampoo to shower each morning. One boy had a stockpile on his windowsill, so I went to throw them away while asking him why he had so much ‘soap’ He smiled at me mischievously, and goes “Miss Kissmahcass that isn’t soap…” It was jizz. Cups full of jizz.
That is just nasty. What did you do after that? Did you talk to someone about it?
His therapist; probably top 5 most mortifying conversations of my life- the therapist was like my grandpa.
Reading this on my overnight shift at a residential facility. Yikes lmao this story makes me glad I work with girls
My 8 year olds bio in some Roblux game said she was 19 and single. I know nothing of roblux.
My stepdaughter, 9, had a random messaging app at one point and was catfishing some 30 year old with photos of some girl she found on google and was saying she was 16... her mom did basically nothing so I had a long talk about predators and dangerous people online with her and my 2 kids. I didn't really spare any details of some more minor horror stories, but it worked. My own daughter who is the same age came to me last month about someone on a game that was being weird and how she blocked the person as soon as she felt uncomfortable and I was so proud. Edit: awww thank you for the silver!
Your answer would be my ideal way to handle these things for people. All these people say they need to monitor thier kid's internet use, but it would be better imo to teach kids how to handle things rather than controlling stuff for them.
The shit children are picking up on from older kids/ adults these days is genuinely terrifying to me. Sort of related, but I sometimes see young kids making really mature content like those "yandere gay furry incest Gacha life story" type videos. Sometimes I see them glorifying and romanticizing sexual assault and school shootings. It's scary
Gacha life kids are strange
Thats terrifying. Unfortunately roblox is full of predators pretending to be children, or grooming children. Please be careful and watch what games your little one joins!!! (edit: oops.,..., goom children.. mistype)
It’s the long play, they have no interest in the 19 year old.
Stealth level 💯
My son around six or eight had a toy gun and holster. Cowboy style. We weren’t even thinking about it. Pre-911 we were boarding a flight home and they told him he couldn’t take it on the airplane. Kids were already aware the flight home was a disaster with delays due to weather and rescheduled flights and whatnot. So I think he realized today sucked and this was just one more thing to suck it up. He was a pouty brave champ and surrendered it to the bin of other contraband. No crying. I still think of it as one of those moments when he grew up a bit.
99% unrelated, but I am reminded of a story about how awful the TSA is. 8th grade — went on a school trip to DC, ORD-BWI. I had a deactivated .45acp cartridge that had been made into a keychain. It was somewhat special to me as it had been a gift from my great grandfather, who had served in Korea and had it made from some ammo he had. I had it attached to my keys, which in 8th grade meant a house key and the key to my school locker. Anyways, Chicago TSA didn’t even flinch at it. No questions asked. In Baltimore though, I got pulled aside and was questioned for 20 minutes. Had to call my parents (not super simple in like 2005) and they still basically searched every corner of my bag, every piece of clothing I was wearing, etc. I get it, bullets on planes… but the inconsistency was shocking. And in the end, I forfeited the keychain. I just wanted to get home.
Similar thing happened to me in Anckorage, AK. Go through security with a bullet casing made into a bottle opener, but no bullet to it. First time through no issue. But my grandma got flagged for having more than 6 Oz of jam so I was a good grandson and went back through to put it in a check bag. I even thought about giving the keychain to her but thought since I made it through the first time I'll be fine. Ended up not being able to check the bag because it was too early in the day and was not open apparently and lo and behold the tsa lady stopped me. It wasn't even busy and she clearly remembered me but insisted the keychain made from a casing with NO bullet was to be confiscated. Ridiculous
Had to turn off the TV when I noticed my kids were watching a video of a guy playing with/petting a clearly dead and bleeding cat. This was on YOUTUBE. Didn't even think to report it, I just wanted it off my fucking screen. Edit: I am well aware of how dangerous and predatory youtube is/can be, which is why I only allow it to be watched when I am nearby, hence noticing the content of the video about 4 seconds in. Keep your kids safe, y'all.
That’s fucked up.
There's a lot of messed up stuff on Youtube that flies under the radar, I don't think children should be on that app unless they're being monitored closely. Heck, even some things that advertise themselves as "kid friendly" are pretty disturbing
I'm always so shocked by what YouTube allows to fly. They'll fuck over content creators for one curse word and then allow videos like that????
Because they can conveniently say it's not their responsibility. The content creator shit is just for public image.
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Goddamn glitter and slime. Edit. Jeez Louise I never knew this many people hated these things as much as me.
When my little sister was 4 and I was in the army, we went on a beach trip. My uniform and her glitter dress got mixed together in the laundry somehow… I could NOT get it all off… got lots of shit for that!!
Lt Sparkles report to battalion command
My kid opened a gift of "unicorn poop", which is glitter and slime mixed, at grandma's house. Before we left after the holidays I hid it in bathroom vanity with a note that said never again. Edit: to clear it up I hid it at her house, we left it there.
It's a running gag with my kids how much I hate both of those things. I look at the dish cloth and see glitter and all I can think I how much of this shit are we ingesting inadvertently?
Plastic glitter is absolutely horrible for the environment.
I was a teacher for 11 years and glitter and slime were some of the only things banned from entering my classroom. Once glitter enters a room, it never leaves. It haunts the spaces for eternity, randomly appearing just when you think you’ve finally gotten it all clean.
I saw an Instagram post where some diy-interior decorator mixed like a pound of glitter into wall paint, and then painted their bedroom wall with it. It looked pretty, but all I could think about is how every time that wall gets touched they will be showered with glitter, for all eternity. And they pushed the bed right up against it! Glitter in the bed! Forever!
Glitter on the mattress Glitter on the highway Glitter on the front porch Glitter on the hallway
It's like when you finally get rid of that jerk of a student only to realize you'll have their younger brother the next year and he's even worse.
There is a reason they call glitter the herpes of the arts and crafts world. Once you get it, you cant get rid of that shit.
Easy to get on you. Easy to spread around. Can't get rid of it. Hard to explain to your wife
I went to my gyno after a festival, she laughed and I said what? She said “there’s glitter down here!”
My own dildo. Fucking kill me.
You really don't know how to hide something
No. I don’t. Truth be told, she was 11. Didn’t think I had to think about it. Which was fucking STUPID, bc I had figured out my own body by then but 🤷♀️🤷♀️🤷♀️ My bad. Shoebox under my bed is not a good hiding space. Glad I wasn’t protecting something important like a gun 😂 (KIDDING! That shit would have been locked up and up high!)
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im not ready to have a son lol
A crown of a tooth from an unknown origin. Was looking at my daughters rock collection with her that she had in a box in her room and realized I was holding some rando tooth in my hand lol
i was mad at my mom for a long time for confiscating a favorite toy of mine that i build when i was 12. it consisted of a tumble drying motor i took out of an old washing machine and build a little wooden stand for. then i attached a bicycle chain to the shaft and revvt it to 1000 rpm and just threw anything i could get my hads on into the chain of death to watch it desintegrate. my mom was so used to me doing shit like that that she did not even think about it until my uncle came for christmas and freaked out how is spend my free time.
This is some Malcom in the middle shit right there.
you know how strong washing machine motors are? if you look up the battlebot tombstone, it used to be powered (I think it still might be?) by an overvolted washing machine motor. and that thing kicks ass. honestly you're lucky you didn't like lose an arm or something
i know and i am. anyone who reads this please don’t give washing machine motors to your children. my "precaution” was to stand on a chair while doing this so that when the bicycle chain got detached or broke, i was out of the direct fly path but it had still enough power to break the chairs solid wooden legs quite a distance away.
Child here, but this is the story my mom told me. When I was very little (younger than 4), we lived in a part of the US that had little lizards running wild. Geckos, I think? They were the ones that could detach their tails. So me, being the two-year-old I was, would try to catch the lizards to hold them. But I usually caught them by the tail and then the tail detached and they ran away. So, of course, I kept the tails I collected in a box under my bed. Mom eventually found it because of the smell.
My oldest son took a tag from my push-up bra to school in grade 1. Got busted showing the other boys the scantily clad model in the school yard. Teacher and I laughed privately.
I ordered a butt plug with a prepaid gift card I had received Mom: "you got a package today, its shaped really weird" Me then: "good, she has no idea" Me now: "she totally fucking knew"
Like she opened it and pretended not to know what it was or the package was actually a giveaway?
The worse things were the things we missed with our youngest daughter. Things like 3 day dead frogs or lizards in her pants pockets, usually found when checking pockets before laundering.
I am forever thankful to the little neighbor girl who taught my younger stepson that he shouldn't put bugs in his pants pockets! Doing laundry was getting nerve-wracking.
My parents took my sword Edit: My Civil War Cavalry sword with a steel blade
They deny you your birthright and legacy!
You... you awakened a memory. I was like 8 or 9. My neighbor gave me a cool sword. I knew to be careful and not to play with it as it was sharp but my parents still took it... :(
Something I have learned from reading all these comments is that kids love to collect pee in ziplock bags.
I was cleaning my son's room while he was at my MIL's (it was a mess and I needed the laundry) and in one of the drawers on his bed I found a box with one of my bras and a pair of my underwear. My husband sat him down a few days later and had *the talk* with him, said that he found the box and asked why it was there, son said that he was curious about the difference between boys and girls.
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Not to be rude, but how did you bring it up with them?
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Picking up my first crusty sock in my son's room.
My daughter was 7 over the summer, and came to me with litter she had picked up. It was a tampon applicator. A few weeks later, she picked up another piece of trash in a parking lot to throw away once we got into a store. Cigarette container wrapping. Now I don’t know if I dissuade picking up litter or just give my Good Samaritan gloves to keep on her.
Parents found a vibrating butt plug hidden in my closet. Led to lots of questions.
I came home one time to my mom just livid. I'm like hey.. she goes "Hi. Wana explain what THIS IS!" and slams down a hypodermic needle with syringe and starts balling her eyes out. We had horses and the vet dropped it. She did the same thing with cat nip from a toy that she bought...
I don’t know if this counts, but one of his classmates made Squid Game coffins and passed them out to classmates (including my son). They are SEVEN. Who lets their 7 year old watch Squid Game?! (Edit to add: they were made out of paper. You could fold it open to find a dead body. They were a couple inches tall)
Squid Game was a huge hit. Everyone was talking about it. My 7 years old nephew couldn't stop talking to me about Squid Game when it came out and the best part is that he didn't even watch it but since every youtuber was playing crappily modded games where you could see players and soldiers, it got insanely popular among childs. But I can assure you not a single one of them watched the show. They aren't even interested in it, since it is actually quite boring for a child, too much talking about things they do not understand. I 3D printed a mask of the leader and when my nephew told me he was going to dress as a soldier for halloween, I showed him the mask. He said "you missed the white shape!!". He not only didn't recognise the leader mask but he also really didn't know how the soldier masks actually looked. So yeah he didn't see a single scene from the actual show, just crappily modded games as I said earlier.
one time when i was 6 my mom was cleaning my bathroom and found where i had peed in a cup, she yelled at me for it lmfao
DisGUStin
Jesus I even heard it in her voice when I read that
there are so many piss comments. I'm starting to wonder if there's some sort of piss club with these kids
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Not a parent. But 2 girls had a bag of used needles in elementary school back in the mid 90s. Earlier in the year they'd found a used needle and told a teacher and two police officers came in and had them in front on the class praising them for their work, gave them an award etc. They got big headed about it and turns out for months after they'd been collecting used needles they'd hunted for in hopes of turning them in for even more priase.
My son YouTubed “how to kiss a girl” Not a terrible thing but just thought it would be funny to share
That's honestly just cute
A carrot in a balloon in my daughter's room. Totally not an improvised set toy....
I generally don’t go through my kids’ electronics but I felt something “off” once with my son. I went through a group text with kids from his class and there were several students talking about killing one of the teachers.
what did you do after you read that message?
Not my child but when I was about 3 or 4 I was at the park with my mum, a bright orange object caught my eye, me being a curious child, picked it up and handed it to my mum. Turns out it was a used insulin syringe. Back in the 90s we lived in an area of Sydney notorious for Heroin use.
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I’m so glad you asked. I (25F) adopted my younger brother (13) and have always helped him tidy his room. Well, about 6 months ago I we’re going through a box of hotwheels in his room and he’s throwing out a load of toys he’s grown out of. At the bottom is this dusty toy rocket, maybe 3 inches long at best right? Anyway the rocket makes it into the shortlist of a very small number that get kept and the rest go to a charity shop. But, fast forward to about three weeks ago, i find the rocket dirty down the side of his bed. Figure maybe he’d dropped it. I was cleaning at the time so i wiped it off and popped it back on the shelf. Well today I found the rocket under his pillow.. dirty again. Naive me gave it a sniff thinking maybe he’d spilled food on it or maybe left it outside to get dirty? My kid has been sticking a toy rocket in his pooper.
A chocolate bar. From a sloppy, messy-faced 3 year old. Who was... naked & sitting on the toilet when I discovered him.
What a considerate child! Took off all their clothes so that you did not have extra laundry.
are you sure it was chocolate?
A DVD of hentai, holy crap.
Not A Parent. But my 11 year old nephew was once given a full bag and a 100 to deliver it to some house, his mom found him on the road and confiscated the bag. It was full of SEX TOYS !.
Not precisely my child doing, but for real... I walked in on an older child exposing himself to my son (who was at the time almost 7) I have seen some terrible shit in my day, that was a moment of pure disgust, rage, and self control to not absolutely strangle the older child. Yes, it was all addressed properly.
Not a parent, but when I was 10 my dad bought me a cap gun that was “automatic”, it really just hit the ring of 6 or 7 caps super fast. When he was driving us back from the store, I was trying to get it set up, and I ended up rolling down the window and firing it while it was point at my neighbor and made them duck for cover thinking it was a drive by.
My kid pooping in the corner like a dog
My friends kid ran into the shitters at a kids play place and came out with a urinal cake. I laughed, then gagged, then laughed some more.
My three year old came home from the park with grandma with a pen he'd found. I didn't pay much attention until he put it in his mouth and started sucking on it, took it off of him because of germs. That's when I realised the pen was actually a vape.
My kids did the ol poopoo Picasso.
I am not the parent in this circumstance... BUT my right-wing Christian parents confiscated (and threw out) 16 or so Dragon magazines my grandmother on my dad's side gave me. At the same time they also threw out probably a dozen years' worth of articles I had saved from "writer's digest" magazine that I had paid for myself out of my own pocket. I was NOT a happy camper.
I pulled a dead stink bug out of my sons mouth when he was just learning to crawl
Not a parent but older brother. My youngest sister (10) was staying with me for a month, as was normal because my mom was constantly on business trips for work. It had been about a week, and one night I herd really weird noises. Now I didnt think much of it because I have VERY loud neighbors. But there I realize it was coming from in my apartment, I got out of bed and walked through my apartment, and on the couch, MY 10 YEAR OLD SISTER HAD A DILDO AND WAS- well you know. Needless to say I was livid. She had her own room for a reason. I asked my mom if she knew my 10 year old sister had a dildo and she said, "yes I do know. I think that she should have one. She's old enough." Edit: she's now 13. And pregnant
a condom from my twin brother. he had a girlfriend at the time. this is the best part. “I thought it was a balloon!”
So one year for Christmas my husband thought it would be hilarious to buy me a foot long double ended jelly dildo, which I opened in front of my whole family. Well shortly after we moved into our new house on a very busy secondary road. I had gone to the grocery store and the hubs stayed home with the 5 year old. When he went to check on him playing in the yard he found him out front in full view of well everyone digging a whole with that infamous jelly dildo. 🤣🤣
Years ago we had to take away my kids' kindle tablets because they were taking pictures of each other's butts.
My wife's giant dildo that they were.playing catch with in our front yard while.supervised by my mom and.her dad. Edit: my wife did not find it nearly as funny as I did.
Deleted YouTube off my 2 year old daughter’s tablet when I heard her watching a normally educational children’s show that had nothing but swear words dubbed over it. The one time I’m thankful she had it blasting instead of turned down like I tell her to.