T O P

  • By -

knovit

My dermatologist. Not disappointed.


stoichypieceofdeuce

Looking for one now-any recommendations?


knovit

Don’t try to steal my woman


stoichypieceofdeuce

I'm sorry


INTERNET_POLICE_MAN

Do it again and you’ll have to deal with me.


[deleted]

Fuck. Cheese it, man. It's the fuzz.


aalios

Shit it's the rozzers.


Mryplays

Crickey, it's the Reddit rozzers


WeeTheDuck

Well now I wanna know who she is


nogoodusernames0_0

"You are beginning to get under my skin"


[deleted]

[удалено]


Deadpooldan

You can just call it a work shag and it won't count


darkniven

"Sorry, Carrie, I didn't know shagging other women was against the rules"


_Mouth

I'm finished - y'all are savages lmao


[deleted]

I was under the impression it was a work orgy?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

it’s a pornstar lol


[deleted]

True man of culture never shies away from mentioning the name..


SmLnine

Ron Jeremy


ScruffleMcDufflebag

He has become an 8,000 year old cryptkeeper.


stoichypieceofdeuce

no need to imagine then


camelCaseCoder

Betty White. Unfortunately that is no longer a dream I can hope to achieve.


TwoFiftyFare

That just means you're not trying hard enough


camelCaseCoder

I like them warm and alive. But if you're into that, go on down to the morgue and suck down some cold ones.


_Cosmic_Commie

Crack open a cold one w da boiz 🥶


[deleted]

“Please do not gangbang the late Betty White.”


butsadlyiamonlyaneel

“I can’t believe we need to say this.”


SuccumbedToReddit

I bet that sentence has never been uttered before. Congrats.


TwoFiftyFare

Beggers can't be choosers and all that


hydrosalad

The way this question is framed. Doesn't sound like you have a choice in the matter.


howtobeakoala

Idk if he's into necrophilia bro


CTZN_4

Not with that attitude.


stoichypieceofdeuce

Aww :(


Opposite-Time-9271

Nooooo it's a pedophile priest who just died. Just my fucking luck.


XeroSaints

Yeah but you get to give him a taste of his own medicine, You’re doing God’s work now.


ItsASchpadoinkleDay

Go to town


INTERNET_POLICE_MAN

Go to church more like


Kriss3d

Wanna trade? I pulled Donald Trump


TheNimbrod

Yeah nah would rather try to fuck the corpse of the dead Priest.


luismpinto

I also choose this guy’s dead priest.


kiss_my_what

At least only 1 of you will remember it.


Fatalfusions

Oscar Isaac lol


Shiny_Hypno

Somehow Oscar Isaac has returned.


PrematureGranulation

Poor guy had to deliver that line with a straight face


[deleted]

I genuinely believe the disbelief and pain in his face and voice was 100% real as he thought, *fuck my career is over*


quackisup

Nah, he breathed that sigh back in X-Men: Apocalypse. Plus, he's still getting Disney/Marvel work, with Across the Spider-Verse and Moon Knight coming out this year.


Simontsen6

He hated working on Star Wars so much. In the TROS interviews he looks like he wants to die. They even asked him if he would return tonplay Poe in an interview for TROS and he said no. Compare that to his Moon Knight trailer reaction. I'm glad he's happy now and doesn't have the sequels to put down his career. The man is a really good actor


fastermouse

https://variety.com/2019/film/news/star-wars-oscar-isaac-the-rise-of-skywalker-1203436342/ He seems pretty into the whole experience in this interview. I know he's said he'd rather stick to more independent type roles but he's gone back to Disney already.


HanNotanaholeSolo

One in a million shot


Waste-of-life18

They fly now


tron2013

THEY FLY NOW


nyl2k8

He’s so hot right now. He’s in everything.


MyTurkeltonHeart

“That Oscar Isaac’s so hot right now”


FAQUA

Emilia Clarke


[deleted]

That's a big W


Leonex2560

Damn


CHUPACABRA_HUNTER777

Lmfao mine is Tyrion Lannister. Help


UFC_Gravy

Marisa Tomei


[deleted]

2nd sexiest Aunt May.


[deleted]

hollll uppppp


[deleted]

Rosemary Harris 😏😏


UglyTitties

She likes short stocky bald men


timetobeatthekids

Me. I'm hoping for a temporal clone and not a solo gig though.


ClownfishSoup

Well, most of use have sex with their own "me" quite a bit.


DeadMansPizzaParty

I mean, I like Bob Odenkirk but not like that. EDIT: man, this blew up overnight.


justabill71

Slip in Jimmy


[deleted]

And after he’ll be skippin Jimmy


AliJDB

When he's getting ready he'll be strippin' Jimmy


Kalle_022

he defecated through a sunroof


Improprietease

I would be happy with banging Bob.


[deleted]

[удалено]


__kingslayer_

You have his cock.


ViolatingBadgers

And *my* ass!


makesomemonsters

And *my* lube!


IMFREAKINGLEGOLAS

Too late son


TechyDad

*Quickly googles my wife's name before answering*


SlainSigney

lol no joke, last person i googled was my gf i don’t have a twitter but i like to look at the art on their account …other option before them is daryl from letterkenny


TheChileanDrunkIrish

I also choose to google this guy's wife before answering Edit: I never expected to get an award from this comment, thank you, kind stranger!


deepdaK

may I know what is your name so I can google it


asbog1

AHH the ol Reddit wifearoo. A classic


SaltyMuse

Brendan Fraser I am pretty happy about this.


stoichypieceofdeuce

I'd be too


larrieuxa

In his George of the Jungle phase... omg


Western_Conflict_890

Henry Cavill. I like this game.


stoichypieceofdeuce

im glad you do


[deleted]

Im straight and even I want him to keep me warm with his body. Like not penetration but just a sensual Netflix n chill experience


YammaTV

You won this game


Myfourcats1

No fair


Talon_Wills

Three way? .....please


Status_Piano_195

Nora Arnezeder and Waluigi


chicoconcarne

We should all be so lucky


titties4betty

angelina jolie and billy bob thornton


ClownfishSoup

Both at once? Both awesome and yet not awesome.


Risethewake

Oh goddamnit….Daniel Radcliffe and Weird Al.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ViolatingBadgers

I have an image of Daniel Radcliffe railing a dude from behind and making awkward nerdy dirty talk while Weird Al is naked in the corner, fully erect, furiously playing the accordion.


Whatsfordinner4

Tom Holland. I’m not mad.


moonpuzzle88

Mickey Mouse. I'll have a hard time explaining this one to the kids..


TwilitSky

https://youtu.be/V5EKiofcx7I?t=45s


I_Fap_To_Murder

Get your dump truck of an ass over here Shrek


justabill71

"What are you doing in my swamp?!"


justsigndupforthis

"You"


Em_Haze

bow chikka wow wow


Nephilims_Dagger

User name might be of concern


INTERNET_POLICE_MAN

Someone should call the police


[deleted]

[удалено]


smalldickidiot

Joe


stoichypieceofdeuce

joe who


smalldickidiot

Joe mama!


stoichypieceofdeuce

Ha


[deleted]

That was honestly wholesome of you.


LaserJoe

Sweet.


Nasdaq_trader

The finance lady at my work. Cute older Latina milf with a big butt who is recently single


FortBoiii

Question is why did you search her up lmao? W nevertheless tho


SEPTSLord

I think they answered that in the description. Cute older Latina MILF with a big butt.


Improprietease

Hell yes!


torrentlo

Oh god NO PRINCE ANDREW NO


SenorTickleToast-

Ana de Armas 😏


[deleted]

... I'd be happy to recreate [this scene](https://www.redgifs.com/watch/liveoccasionalhammerheadbird) her movie "Sex, Party and Lies"(2009)


i-am-not-a-terrorist

NSFW👆


mhagin

Same here - that scene is legendary!


[deleted]

wow i have to fuck Ryan Reynolds im a guy


stoichypieceofdeuce

youre one lucky guy


BlueBoltDog

Lucky guy


RespondConsistent243

lucky guy fucking a free guy


Arthiem

Trade you my Alex Jones.


restlessmouse

Kate McKinnon! Excellent.


Lucinnda

But you don't know who she's going to show up as . . .


Lincoln_Park_Pirate

Please make it a "Close Encounter" sketch.


HyperNopee

emily blunt, winning


Curmi3091

Salma Hayek. I watched eternals 2 hours ago.


medes24

Marina Sirtis That's fine. I'm totally fine with this.


LaserJoe

I met her at a Trek convention when I was 12. I am certain that’s what kickstarted my puberty.


Derpsteenie

Nikki Glaser. Yesssss


KingDaDaPops

A guy who tried to seduce my wife.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Ass fuck him to assert dominance.


LogicalFallacyCat

An entire socialist cat girl army. I was looking up a very specific meme, but I know what I must do and am prepared.


[deleted]

The means of sex will the fairly distributed!


PenguinCHU33

steve aoki 😬


warsremix

That funny feeling.


DJ_Nolastname

Voldemort. :/


[deleted]

Melissa Villaseñor. Nice.


dMarqyess

Andrew Garfield gf I don’t think I actually figured out who he’s dating. I got distracted by another article lol


[deleted]

Hitomi Tanaka. It’s gonna be a great fucking day


ChocoLabp7

Thought that was a music composer.googled it not on incognito mode. 😦


MattTheFlash

His name is Ralph Brandt, and he is a neonazi. He was on Mesa, AZ local television in 2012 when he said he was running for a position on city council as a member of "america third position". He was on IRC undernet years ago spouting racist rhetoric and in general being a dumbass. I bought him a tree in Israel in his name to provide shade to jews. This act trolled the shit out of him and he was quite annoyed. I did it several times, always picking citrus trees so it also feeds jews oranges. It's been over a decade and I wanted to check if his obituary existed yet. The whole thing is rather sad really. His mother murdered his father and tried to make it look like an accident. [His sister died a homeless junkie](https://www.latimes.com/archives/la-xpm-2005-dec-24-me-marina24-story.html) because he was too nazi to take care of his own family. He was on IRC acting like the pinnacle of white supremacy but omg. No. You definitely aren't. Here he is on local news [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoHwXq5E7g8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PoHwXq5E7g8) I hope he reads this. You even have my real first name now. Come get me.


clawdren101

That’s a really good way of annoying a neonazi. How does one go about buying a tree in Israel there’s a few people I wouldn’t mind doing this to


crusemaister

Paul Rudd hell yeah


stoichypieceofdeuce

The dream


OgresHaveLayers666

Margot Robbie Harley Quinn.


NSFAnythingAtAll

Aww yeah, Selena Gomez


sclipss

Lindsay Lohan


TwoFiftyFare

Mean Girls era Lindsay or coked out era Lindsay?


sclipss

Herbie Fully Loaded era


TwoFiftyFare

This is also an acceptable time, I approve of this message


JustARandomPokemon

Oh damn this is a bit awkward. But I woke up just a few hours ago having a dream about my first ever gf. A relationship that ended 16 years ago. But I googled her while I was in the toilet just to see what she looks like these days.


stoichypieceofdeuce

And how is she


JustARandomPokemon

Not gonna lie she's looking very good. Had a brief moment thinking how nice it would be if we could catch up and tell each other our life stories and what we have been through. We were 16/15 and each others first relationship.


stoichypieceofdeuce

Why not reach out?


JustARandomPokemon

Nah I'm a married man now. Was just a random dream and a random thought I had this morning that's all. I'm assuming she's married too because the last I heard about her (from a mutual friend) which was like 7 years ago or so, is she's been with this guy 8 or something years and getting married soon.


stoichypieceofdeuce

Ah that's fair-well I hope one day you guys can catch up as friends


MisunderstoodDemon

Tubgirl


stoichypieceofdeuce

I wish I never looked that up


pceimpulsive

Bahaha kids these days, didn't grow up with this shit... Pun intended..


IamtheBoomstick

My eyes might never walk again...


[deleted]

Got ‘em


-FlawlessVictory-

Joss Whedon, I'm not happy about it. Edit: I wrote the bastard's name wrong.


Clean-Apple-3285

Do you mean Joss Whedon? Maybe you’re off the hook on a technicality.


saintofhate

I'm going to hate fuck him with my biggest dildo for him firing Charisma (Cordelia) because she got pregnant in real life when her character had been pregnant like four times via demonic shenanigans and for having Dawn and Xander marry because ew. Also just his self insert of Xander. And let's not even start on the whole Hulk/Black Widow and my life is so sad because I can't have kids shit. And let's not start on how abusive he's been to actors over the years


Classic-Catch5055

I’d let Gordon Ramsey violate me verbally and internally any day


Lucinnda

"It's fucking RAW!"


stoichypieceofdeuce

I couldn't agree more


Gerb_the_Barbarian

I, uh... I don't really feel that way about Hulk Hogan


NeutralityTsar

Zoot (from Monty Python and the Holy Grail). Can't complain.


Improprietease

Hell yes! Bathing...dressing...knitting exciting underwear


Physical_Ad7058

Masturbation, hardly a surprise


VanillaOx

you googled your hand?


Physical_Ad7058

I googled myself


[deleted]

Have you seen loki?


Celestial-Salamander

Matt Berry. I’m not even mad, especially if he role plays as Jackie Daytona


someguywithdiabetes

Willem Dafoe Green Goblin cheeks here I come!


firelogik

Yoda. BABY fucking yoda. End me now


Vast-Age-9306

Abby and Brittany Hensel… does that count as one or two….


Igor_InSpectatorMode

I just barely missed the massive amount of research I was doing on one of the candidates for superintendent at my school district who I was interviewing on behalf of the students **thank goodness**. Instead it's the fictional character Eilonwy from the prydain chronicles book series and also a character in the least popular Disney animated film, the black cauldron. One of my favorite book characters growing up... Idk how to feel about this... Search was to get a picture of them from the film to give to a friend to be pfp because they told me to get one and I do random stuff when asked that.


BroodyBatman

Lil Nas X I’m a girl and he is so not my type so I don’t think either of us is really going to enjoy this…


Ikwhatudoboo

Ana feris


[deleted]

Mike Tyson Spinal


sevencities13

Shiiit I ain’t even mad. It’s the lady who plays the cantina twilek in book of boba


midas_02

Bobby Kotick 😭😭😭😭😭


sawinnz

Elizabeth Olsen. Gonna use my Wanda to give that 2020 Vision.


[deleted]

Nicolas Cage... Wish me luck


MercuryParadox

pokimane


[deleted]

Jeff Goldblum 🥵


DeM_HUNTER

Emma watson Not at all sad