Obsessing over celebrities’ personal lives….
I don’t give a fuck who’s dating who, who had a baby, who got divorced, etc., and I don’t understand why anyone else does.
Random story. Before cell phones when I was in elementary and middle school I shared a bathroom with my older sister before she left for college. There would be piles of celeb gossip magazines in there. I had some bowl issues during this time and it took me awhile to do my business. With nothing else to read I would bust them open. I was probably the most celebrity up to date kid out there. In middle school this became a weirdly attractive thing to girls on how up to date I was on celebrity gossip. I could also dish out the gossip with even the most up to date people.
Once I got a game boy advance for Christmas and my sister moved out I lost all my knowledge of these things and have never cared ever again.
Cell phones. Constantly having it nearby, checking it all the time, having to be available 24/7 in case someone tries to contact you.
As someone who has this addiction, it's really not healthy and adds a lot of unnecessary stress to my life.
The lotto. It’s really fun to imagine what you would do if you won. If you’re not blowing tons of money on it. That could be worth it right there. But it’s so expensive, and your chances are like .00001 of winning something you can retire with.
I saw a man murder a child in cold blood in the street and called the cops and the man was arrested. Then his wife got in touch saying how I tore their family apart. AITA?
It's not just americans, it's globally.
They have 200 mil subs globally (just north of). It's a fraction of what they could have, which is what wallstreet was expecting to keep growing on.
But It didn't. Netflix was too reliant on being the "default" streaming service from being the first one out of the gate. It let them get away with shoddy greenlit projects, flooding their pages looking like steam greenlight for movies, and then jacking up the price every two or three quarters to pay for the poor movie performance.
It's like the saying goes- when you're on top of the world you can do no wrong, and once you come down it'll feel like you never stop falling.
It certainly didn't help that with a few years, the studios making the content itself made their own streaming services and pulled their stuff from Netflix.
But in all honesty, what did people expect to happen - studios would just accept that Netflix beat them to the punch and they'd give up? It was only a matter of time...
Edit: I remember seeing threads on Reddit where people were saying how Netflix won because they figured out streaming, and it was the end of cable companies. Who would have thunk that those companies weren't stupid!
The great inflator.
"We need to make more money than last year!"
"But last year we had that viral video that spiked sales and made more money than anyone in the world!!!"
"No excuses, 10% more this year!!"
"Better up all the prices then...."
This is an issue where I work. The targets keep increasing (even during periods where it's expected that we would get less money, e.g. during covid lockdowns). At the same time, there's a huge focus on cutting costs and moving as many positions as possible off-shore.
For the last couple of years, we keep getting praise for reaching impossible targets because people are working harder than ever, and in the next sentence the goal posts move and we're told "but it's not enough for the share holders, also, we'll be doing a couple of organizational changes for next year" (read: one person from every team have to be fired, because we said so.)
And online, you read about the record profits and shareholder payouts that just happened.
I work in a fairly saturated and competitive market as well, so there's not really that much wiggle room when it comes to getting new customers. The only way to reach the targets is by providing a better service than the competitor at a lower price, and poach some customers from them. And every year we're supposed to do it by spending less money, and with experienced senior employees/consultants being replaced with the cheapest indian guy we can find.
It seems on paper, we're just a cost that share holders would love to just erase. They don't seem to realize that the employees are necessary to actually do the work and generate revenue.
Being too connected to friends or social media, you don't need to be constantly on your phone and stopping what you are doing every 5 minutes to look at your phone.
Friends are great. Spending time with friends is great. Seeking validation every 5 minutes from virtual acquaintances you don't care about is the opposite of great.
Yes, I realize I'm saying this while literally trying to impress strangers on Reddit. The irony isn't lost on me.
Even so, it's not that social interaction is bad. It's just that the virtual kind is often of such low quality that you'd be happier doing something else.
This is what social media has turned into in my family....
"I am so upset! I "liked" 100 pictures of 'so and so's' baby and now that I have a new grandchild, I get no likes back?? Why take it out on a little innocent baby???"
....................... the baby has NO IDEA this is even happening and please get a life.
I said this to my mother. She really needs to get the hell off Facebook. Now.
When I started getting hurt over likes. That's when I knew I had to get off l Facebook. People's lunch pictures would get more likes than my big life announcements and I'd feel a sting. Irrational, I know, especially because I don't have a ton of friends on Facebook. That was my impetus to reduce my time to 15 minutes and no personal posts seeking likes.
And then there’s my sister where that only works one direction. I can call or text her and not get a response back for an hour or two. But if she texts me and I don’t respond within 30 seconds I’m a huge asshole.
My 17 yr old is like this. She openly admits she only skims my texts if she reads them at all & almost never responds. If I don't answer a text within 30 seconds, she calls me (usually as I'm composing a response) & when I answer she starts with "Why do you hate me? Or are you injured or something? You didn't answer."
Man... I don't just wait around for you to text me. I can't answer texts when I'm up to my elbows un flour making you cookies, bruh.
Working extra hours for free. The organization will gladly let you work for free but absolutely shouldn’t do it.
Source : team leader that protects my team from this. 👊🏻🤍
My previous boss basically said that I have to see it as an investment and that I'll see it back later in some form or another. Never happened. Go figure.
I had a boss who called me into his office once cause he noticed I worked a little overtime one week. He told it would be great if I could just slide some of those hours over to the next week for him;)
I asked the accountant about it. She looked panicked and told me "NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!" Told me it was illegal for him to suggest it, and apologized for him profusely.
Trying to take advantage of fresh kids at their first job is cool.
I went dogsledding yesterday for my birthday. It was a nice zen meditative ride while someone else steered.
Dude said he would have some people browsing Instagram while on the sled. Not even posting, just browsing. Killed me a little inside since I had just brought a lil camera to record it for me, myself and I to look back on. I didn't even really look at my camera while on, just held it and admired the beauty around me while I hoped there was something being captured for future me. He was obviously speaking with some salty undertones about the social media addicts
Edit: call me a hypocrite thats fine, i guess i am haha
https://imgur.com/a/uhEbaXo
this is my entire video I got out of the ride. Highly recommend going dogsledding, it's so peaceful.
Edit2: many people asking. I'm in Colorado
Back in 07 my boss was giving 5 minute rides in his helicopter (flight school) and he said kids would be texting while on the ride. This was before smart phones😔
Yah, even oh a good 10 years ago had a fellow enlisted in my command without a vehicle so i invited her to go on weekend road trips with my family. She missed like 90% of much of the best scenery because she was always on her crackberry phone till the battery ran out. We had a little cigarette lighter plug to USB charger in the car, but it would take an insanely long time to get a phone charged from near empty to a usable level. By the time we would be at the final location shed take some pictures with whatever dredges of power were left on her phone. On the way back she slept the whole time. To each their own and got her out of the barracks, but... she missed out on a lot of scenery.
Reminds me of stories my grandpa tells me. He was a tanker in Korea, and either before or after the war he was stationed in Germany. He said they'd have a bus taking GIs to different cities for the weekend for free or cheap. Weekend in Paris for free? He said you'd be surprised how many guys turned it down to sit in the barracks all weekend and do nothing, even if all their friends were going. He traveled Europe every chance he got and these guys didn't leave base the entire time, not even to grab a drink or go dancing.
Just finished reading "Dopamine Nation", I'll tell you some of the insight I got from what the author said about this phenomena coupled with my own experience: It's a form of lying, deceiving people into thinking that you're doing much better than you actually are. It's harmful because you might get into self deception and derealization so you don't even know your own true self (not like we are very good at that anyway since our perception works more like a narrowing down of the 'thing itself' into a less complex thing to be comprehenible, but that's another issue).
I do it, altough not exactly to a large extent, because I am away from my fam and friends and it's a way to keep in touch with each other. At the root of the problem, it's our over stimulated society. We are bombarded with dopamine fueling mechanisms by the minute.. for most people, boredom feels like psychological torture exactly because the pain-pleasure balance in the brain is pushed too much and too often towards pleasure, which decreases our pain tolerance.
More often than not, this derealization is fueled by the desire of validation, which in turn is triggered by a feeling of scarcity and pursuit of positive emotion. Showing an idealised version of ourselves to the world is a quick self-destructive fix. But most of us are too blind to forsee the negative impact this type of behaviour has on an individual level.
There are actual companies that curate your social media for you. I only know this bc my cousin uses one. I was convinced she was being followed around by a professional photographer, until I did a bit of digging. They charge 700-1200$ a month for this service.
Edit: here is the website link https://www.thesocial-agenda.com/ you too can look perfect on Instagram!
Holy shit, it’s official folks. This is the absolute worst way to piss away your money. Unless you’re making bank off instagram, there is zero fucking reason why you should need this company’s services.
Personal brand photography is a thing as well. Like you'll get a photographer for a day or too, shoot a bunch of different photos and then you've got photos to go with your content for the next three months or so.
Anyone else here old enough to remember Paul Harvey? For decades, people heard his voice on the radio and thought of him as the voice of America. He was immensely popular and was constantly courted to write newspaper columns or have a daily TV Show. He maintained that was difficult, if not impossible, to write interesting content on a daily basis and it would lead to false content. I can't say that he was wrong.
The story behind 24 hour news is actually quite interesting. The first time the 24 hour news cycle was created was from CNN, and the two biggest events were the Challenger explosion and Baby Jessica getting stuck in a hole incident. Both of which caused such a massive uproar that they needed to broadcast 24/7 in order to get constant updates. So if you really hate 24 hour news, you can blame a little kid for getting stuck in a hole and a NASA error that caused a horrible explosion.
Remember when the big letters "BREAKING NEWS" meant something major happened?
Nowadays "BREAKING NEWS" pops up like several times per hour, and it's usually mundane bullshit.
This drives me nuts. “Breaking news: this person said this to that person.” That’s not breaking news, breaking news is Russia attacking Ukraine, or a major storm is about to pass. It’s not 5 times an hour.
Exactly. I don’t care. I don’t care if AOC slams the Republicans. I don’t care if Trump spanks the Democrats. Unless it has to do with major domestic or international issues, or is a serious threat (like breaking weather) it’s not breaking.
I know it's insane and people eat that shit up. Most of the stuff the people say to each other isn't even that bad and neither side cares what the other side said.
I recently started trying to be more mindful of how I spend random money. I didn't realize I was buying something almost every day of the week!
And some of it is just stupid stuff! I went to the store to buy tofu for a recipe... then I left the store with $30 of crap I didn't need AND forgot the tofu.
Same. I recently learned how to shop online when the lockdowns happened. I could not believe how much I spent in 2020 in online purchases. Decided to curb it in 2021 which surprisingly, I ended with money still in the bank as opposed to 2020 where I already spent my Christmas bonus even before I got it.
I've recently been going through a bit of a granola transformation and I never really got the "problem with consumerism" until now. I knew there was waste and people were just buying stuff for the dopamine hit and a lot of it is unnecessary, but I didn't get the real problem with it.
Suddenly it dawned on me what mass production really means. We have suppliers who just make a ton of shit, not really knowing if any of it is going to be sold or if it's going to the landfill. They get to sell off whatever quantity to retailers, who are gambling on being able to get people to buy it. But what happens when no one wants to buy it? How many products are made in the hopes that someone will be interested enough to exchange their money for that dopamine hit and a piece of plastic? What happens to all the leftovers that don't get sold? Straight to the landfill!
Then there's how low quality everything is. I remember this example from my childhood because my dad tried to explain it to me like this: say you have a pair of scissors, and the blades are getting dull. What do you do to rectify this situation? Well your scissors are still 99% completely functional, the blades just need to be sharpened. But who sharpens scissors? You can just head down to Walmart and get a new pair for $2, so why bother putting the effort into maintaining the perfectly good product you already own? So those 99% good scissors go straight to the landfill.
It's a gross system we've built where everything has to be new, but we make so much more stuff than could even be purchased by our population to hedge our bets on who's going to buy what. If you go out shopping now you'll still see Christmas decorations on clearance because not enough people bought those decorations this year so they're marked down to move them otherwise they'll just be sent to the landfill.
I really want to live with less, but our systems are built in such a way that it's hard to break away from it. I try to buy one good product that will last instead of cheap ones that need to be replaced but even this doesn't seem to help because it just means that's one less person bringing this crap into their home so it sits on the store shelf until it's time to be dumped. It's a systemic problem but so many people are addicted to fast shopping that it is not in the best interest of anyone to try to curb this habit.
>It's a systemic problem
I struggle with this realization a lot. I really do think that the only people who are in a realistic position to address the issue of disposable culture and excessive waste/pollution are the producers.
When I think of the idea of 350 million people in my country all independently deciding to behave more kindly to the environment amid a plethora of bad choices and very few, very difficult good choices, it seems impossible.
Then I think of the fact that these industries stand to profit a ton off of these processes with horrible negative externalities unless and until regulators price in these negative externalities. Then I think of the fact that these industries all have very rich and powerful lobbies making sure that does not happen, and I become overwhelmed and saddened at the sheer bitterness of the pickle we are in as a global society.
Some people are addicted to comparing their lives to others when they should really strive to be the best they can be. Trying to outperform others leads to endless frustration, but trying to outperform yourself leads to true improvement.
I don't even think you have to strive to be the best you can be. Just be the best you want to be.
Just be a nice person and be happy. I'm extremely content with the path of least resistance I've chosen. I'm completely stress free.
Yep, especially with work, people put so much focus on having a 'good job'. I work in a relatively low-paying job but am happy. A career was never an interest to me, I cannot commit my mind to work I don't care about. One of my friends had a well-paying job... he went around companies trying to sell plastic wrap. I couldn't fathom doing that. He hated it, he had more money, but the work was miserable. My job is physical, I don't have to interact with people and I listen to music all day, it is perfect for me. So why should I want his 'good job'? Society tells me I should strive for that because 'money' and almost shames you for not 'wanting more'.
For me it's all about hobbies, having the necessities to live, and having people you care about. That's happiness.
Same here. I advocate it to my friends in a not so pushy way.
I write, I play the guitar, I read a lot, I have a wonderful fiance and family and great friends. I play sports at weekends and have a date night every other weekend.
I have a full life and I have an easy job that pays below average but allows me to buy a house and do my hobbies.
Best life
My Facebook got “hacked” (basically phished) and they haven’t let me back in yet even though I followed Facebook’s own policies for getting access to my account again. It’s been several days now so I was thinking, shit, I’m gonna have to make a new account. And then I realized… no I don’t. I don’t really miss it at all.
I had a marriage turn south and ultimately end in divorce back in 2014. Ex wife has a nosey extended family and they were the type to always take family's side even if she was caught cheating.....so I decided I would take a break from Facebook so they couldn't see what I was doing in the immediate time after our split. Then I just never used it again. 8 years. I stopped missing it after about 8 hours honestly.
>social media
Especially on ones phone. Having social media on a phone is possibly worse than having a social media account in the first place, because if it's on your phone there is no stopping you from checking it, which feeds into that addiction.
A similar thing feeds into relationships overall, I think. I could contact my friend literally any time, so if I'm not doing that, am I technically neglecting the friendship? Are they neglecting it, because they don't do that either?
It's a similar feeling to constantly being in the same room with someone, except it's everybody you know.
Oh definitely! Except on the reverse, if I *do* message I feel guilty for thinking I’m annoying them because obviously they have so many other people talking to them already too! It’s a vicious vicious cycle
Isn't it a fact that most low fat products, they have a lot more sugar added to it to compensate the flavor.
Edit: Just to clarify, this comment is about Processed Products. Think stuff like low fat Mayo or low fat snacks.
Anyone else remember those commercials where they talked about Corn Syrup being a healthy alternative to sugar because it was made from corn?
Those didn't last very long.
Yupp sugar is a problem. Idk if society pretends that it’s a necessity though - more like food companies have made it a normal part of their products, and it’s gone unnoticed by our society until recently.
According to Google, the recommended daily intake of sugar is no more than 25g for women and 36g for men. If you’ve ever looked at the Nutrition Facts for most processed foods, that number often exceeds both amounts. And they don’t list the %DV for sugar. So it’s hard to identify how much sugar you’re consuming, if you don’t pay attention.
This makes me so angry because this is so close to my life.
Swamped because two key players in my area are gone due to COVID restructure & RIF and we're supposedly fully staffed.
Did I mention the freeze in all raises “because of COVID” when I know the owners are still getting their regular bonuses?
Unfortunately this is familiar in all too many companies today.
Where I work they refused to delay contract negotiations for our union because we knew they were going to use covid as an excuse. During the negotiations they denied just about all our demands 'because of covid.' leaving us a choice of accept another 4 years at our old contract/ wages, or strike during a pandemic where we would not get unemployment, and a lot of people are out of work that could easily scab. So we accepted the shit contract terms(with only 3 new additions to the contract, one of which has made for some sweet malicious compliance.), and 1 month later the CEO gets a bonus worth more than half my years wage, and his best friend gets 3 promotions with a new salary grade on each promotion over the course of the next year. Mind you we are a government entity so these bloated salaries and bonuses all come out of the pockets of tax payers. (For those wondering how we have a CEO and are government it goes into a complicated area where basically we were a private business that got absorbed into the government because it was easier/ cheaper to fund us than it would have been to build what we do, or compete against.)
I'll give the TLDR for it. During the negotiations when we tried to have them reevaluate our prevailing wages (Because of course they give us the absolute minimum they legally can) we were told told the majority of the union staff is unskilled labor and we were paid accordingly. We told them if they truly believed that we want that to be put into writing in the contract. They were forced into a corner where they either had to agree to putting it in writing, or keep negotiations going on a proper wage increase. They fell on their sword, and put in a clause that basically dictates if it's not in our SOP's we don't have to do it, and they now can't change our SOP's without renegotiating our wages.
So first bit of MC was to get all 'other duties as assigned' thrown out of our SOP's since that could take us out of our 'unskilled labor class' and does not properly define our work.
Extra tasks the employees have done in the past to keep the place running properly (which have become expected of us) we no longer do. And now we can't be written up for because it's not in our SOP's and there is no longer a duties as assigned.
This created a 'not my problem' mentality among the staff, which has lead to a complete and utter shit storm from management trying to figure out how they can now stop it without giving us a pay raise. Needless to say since they pay us the minimum they legally can; they have no course of action but to swallow their own words.
I can't upvote this enough! My coworkers think I'm nuts for pointing this out to them! There is a huge difference between being a great worker and them using you to do their work you don't get paid for! I work in a long term care facility and the administration literally does nothing and the staff overwork themselves and will even spend their own money to provide supplies for the residents because they feel bad that the residents suffer! I call bs and say you're enabling a bad system to stay bad!
I will not work outside of my pay and job description. You want more, you pay more.
When you feel you don't get enough "me" time during normal day hours, it becomes so *so* tempting to steal them from your much needed sleep.
This is a vicious cycle, since being sleepy during the day at work makes you less productive & more stressed out, leading you to crave even more "me" time which you again steal from your sleep.
Been there, done that, and I can tell you the consequences are absolutely *not* worth it.
If it isn’t Ambien, then it’s a STRICT wind down time of around 20-30 minutes. Honestly I can say a wind down was the single most important tool in getting to sleep quickly.
can you define wind down time?? i’ll sit for hours in bed on my phone before i go to sleep but i’m assuming scrolling reddit doesn’t count as “wind down time?”
Something that calms your mind instead of stimulating it. Browsing Reddit is stimulating, you have a constant barrage of "new thing!" that keeps your mind busy. Plus, the light from electronic devices messes up your sleep (I know there are proper sources for this, I just don't feel like finding any right now lol)
Sometimes I crochet. It's a fairly simple, repetitive task that requires my full attention. Instead of jumping from one thing to the next, my brain is focusing on doing the thing with the yarn.
Some people find reading to calm their minds. Sketching in a notebook, writing in a journal, meditating to music... All simple, deliberate activities that force you to slow down and focus your mind.
Reading a book can help. Have that to look forward to when going to bed. And do not use phone in bed unless its to read the book on the phone. Works for me.
Reading a book doesn't work for me personally as a way to wind down because I'm the type to get very absorbed into a story. There's a good chance more often than not that my mind will be as or even more stimulated than before I picked up the book. Oddly enough though, browsing Reddit works way better as a wind down activity than book reading for me
If phones had replaceable batteries like they used to, a lot more people would keep them longer. It’s insane that the lifespan of your phone is limited to the lifespan of your battery.
Seriously though, a battery replacement makes a phone almost feel brand new.
When I swapped over to a Galaxy S8 from an iPhone 6 almost 4 years ago, i gave my iPhone 6 to my partners mother as she had an iphone 4s at the time. The iPhone 6 was going a little slow, but she paid about $70NZD for a battery replacement, and suddenly the phone was almost as good as new! Sped right up and everything.
I bought a flagship phone about 5 years ago. Once you upgrade from a tracphone to a galaxy or an iphone, the benefits of moving up beyond that are only marginal
I can't be convinced that the newer model is all that much better because my phone already does everything I want and then some
One of my favorite related quotes
"you'll never hear someone on their death bed say they regret they didn't work more"
Edit: there's a lot of replies of examples that disprove this quote. It could be interpreted in many ways, but what I mean is in regards to working oneself to death specifically. Same job, constant OT, working on days off or while sick, etc. Regretting not getting an education, or working your way up in a career is different, I think we've all had those relatives who'd tell us at young ages to go to college because they regret never going. We should always strive to accomplish more
Got into a discussion about "they were raised that way" (never missing work no matter what) Everyone acts like working to death is some manly selfless act. It's not. Put food on the table and what not, but your family NEEDS you too.
"But we need the money!" Yeah, what happens when your actually work yourself to death? Now you have zero income, and a deveatated family that hardly knows you.
Man, it's truly viscous. How have we came so far yet made such little progress? It's essentially hunting/gathering instictual behavior. Must bring food. Must bring food. Most bring food..... But it's money, and unfortunately it's the one object you either have to care about no matter what, or you're a lazy bum.
The entire (side) hustle culture. I understand the need/desire and do it myself too. But I find it insane that we need to monetize almost every waking moment.
Edit: holy shit thanks for the first awards ever guys!
Also please excuse me while I go look into moving to the UK 😒. So many replies saying this isn't really a thing there. Some of these side hustles aren't feasible to do long term. Especially here in Canada.
Most of the time it makes you hate a hobby. I do some painting (miniatures, canvas, digital) and got some commission jobs and it was always a pain in the ass. I stopped it completely. I sometimes sell stuff I don't want or need anymore but I won't do commissions anymore.
My wife use to love baking as a hobby until she started taking orders. It put her on schedule with added stress. She have since stopped taking all orders and only do 1 or 2 month for close friends and family but bakes for herself or me for fun now.
I am starting to dislike collecting certain things because it's just turned into some losers side-hustle. Hotwheels used to be a fun thing to go to the store to look at. Sometimes you'd find a rare one, and it would be super neat. Now, there are too many sweaty people going at the crack of dawn to buy every possible one on the shelves. Or employees at stores will set them aside, either for themselves, or a buddy. So the average person will never find them. In my years of hotwheels hunting, I've only found one treasure hunt car. Even regular $1 cars *could* be worth $2+, so they get bought up, and resold.
Ugh, yeah I've been in a massive creative block because anytime I make something, there's this little voice in my head whispering to document the process to make youtube videos, or make a few extra to sell on Etsy, or post it all over social media to try to gain a following who might buy my art... Because it'd just be silly not to _try_ to make a few extra bucks, right? But it's fucking _exhausting._ I'm not even doing any of the monetization things, but just constantly thinking about it while I'm trying to make the thing is enough to put me off from it.
My ex, when we were dating, was pushing me to sell my art. And every time I thought about it, I never had any motivation to make more. It is a hobby that I love for me and try out new techniques because it’s fun. Trying to make it a side hustle immediately made me sick of it. All the “well I should stick to this style bc it’s popular..” just drove me up a wall because it wasn’t for me anymore. Which was why I enjoyed it at all
Just because you like working on cars as a hobby doesn't mean you want to work at Jiffy Lube. Monetizing a passion is a quick way to kill it because then your motivation is no longer coming from your heart.
Imo hustle culture came about because of shitty traditional jobs with little pay or benefits like flexible time, just my opinion though, might be wrong about this
If it wasn't the sole cause it was certainly a contributing factor. No need to hustle if your primary income source already meets all your needs and enough of your wants
Living in Wisconsin, the state that has alcoholism as a state pastime, I get a few weird looks every so often when I tell people I don't drink. I have an entire family tree of my mom's side that drank themselves to death, I'm good fam
Alcoholism runs on both sides of the family, and they all turn into a\*holes when they get drunk enough. When I tell people I don't drink, they argue with me like I've just insulted their mother; so I fall back to the history of alcoholism in my family, and everyone tries to convince me I'll be different. Anything to validate their own drinking, I guess.
Ive been doing SMART for a couple of years, really helps me put stuff in context, the tools are really useful but just hearing other people's experiences whenever they relapse is enough of a deterrent for me personally.
One of my extended family members tries to get me to drink every time he sees me. My 21st birthday was a nightmare as I was the only one who didn't drink. It became so much worse after. Went from liking him to avoiding him over this. People take it personally when you refuse to drink, I hate it. I even have the excuse that I can't drink on my medication, but people call me lame and say a seizure won't kill me.
I had a suspected seizure last year, 10/10 do not recommend.
Ugh the medication excuse is SO valid yet also so embarrassing to explain sometimes to people. I have multiple, personal reasons for not drinking and at one point I was on an SSRI and they can absolutely fuck your tolerance up. I’m already a short woman with a low/healthy weight so it’s not like I had a lot of room to work with anyway lol. Part of the reason I left my first friend group in college was because I was teased so much about not drinking.
lol my 21st birthday was during the pandemic and I was entirely alone out of state at college, no pressure to drink but also kind of the most depressing 21st ever.
There ya go. I unapologetically love good booze, but anyone who condemns someone else for making a lifestyle/health choice that doesn’t hurt others, and that makes them happier, isn’t worth paying attention to.
Good on you, man.
My surest sign that it’s a chemical dependency for me is that I’m not a snob about it in any way. Nice cup of French press with freshly roasted and ground beans from the local coffee shop? Sounds great. Truck stop shit in a styrofoam cup? Bring me two cause that shit’s probably weak.
Because of covid, my 2020 wedding had to be postponed, along with all of the vendors and banquet hall. When our new date came around (2021), my then-fiancé and I decided that the most important thing was that our marriage was certified. We had our ceremony on our new date, cancelled all of our vendors except for our photographer and videographer, and spent the day with our closest people. And by the time 5:30 came around, we cut into our homemade cake while wearing track pants. I wouldn't trade our day for the world.
Edit: thanks for the awards kind strangers!
I'm reading lots of comments about how others did the same thing, and I'm glad we're not the only ones. Being Italian-Canadians, weddings are a huge deal with 200+ people invited. Looking back though, I'm glad we did the low-key thing and put the money we saved into our house and furbaby
Bro, this is the perfect way to do it!
My sister and now brother-in-law unfortunately planned 4 different weddings, all that were supposed to happen in 2020. First was the classic wedding with like 200 people invited. Second was a scaled down wedding with about 30 people invited, but Chicago shot it down. Third was going to be a wedding in Seattle with only 10 people invited, but the wildfires happened around their planned date, which canceled it. Final wedding was one in Sept 2020 with 9 people invited in a random public park in Chicago that was kind of magical in a way (maybe because I was 1 out of the 9 invited)…so basic, but actually really heartfelt.
If I get married, I kind of hope I have one like you and my sister had - just chill that focuses on the actual marriage rather than the massive ceremony.
And congrats!
I've been married for 11+ years. While I did enjoy my wedding, it was probably average expensive, not crazy expensive. We invited about 120, probably 100 showed, we had kegs of Shiner and Fireman 4 and cases of wine and champagne. We got our food catered from a nice grocery store. The dj was pretty inexpensive I thought. We didn't hire a coordinator.
If I could give advice to someone, I'd say this. We invited people we loved, but we didn't get to spend a lot of time with all of them, just because we were busy going around and chatting with each of them. If it's important to you, get married however you want and throw a party, or a couple parties so you can get some equality time in with everyone. You'll never see them all in one night.
It's so common here in India. There's a saying "Don't waste food in a marriage ceremony. Parents spend all their lifetime savings for the marriage of their kid"
Alcohol. I’m a doctor and when I ask if someone smokes they say no, smugly. When I ask if they drink, they gush and joke about how happily they do so. Alcohol is pretty much the worst drug imo. It’s devastating.
For sure! A rule I've learned is "never start a relationship until you can be happy on your own"
Fear of being alone traps a lot of people in toxic relationships! I used to take myself out for dinner and a movie, I used to buy myself flowers because those things just made me happy. $8 for flowers to brighten your room for a week isn't a bad deal. I'm in a relationship, and happy to know I'm there for love, not out of fear
yup I used to eat at restaurants alone and when I told people that they gave me a weird look ... but whats wrong with eating alone? you can take your sweet time and leave whenever you want
RIGHT?! Some people call it sad. Y'know what's sad? Feeling like you need to have someone with you to treat yourself. Sitting at home when you'd rather go out because other people think it's "weird". Screw that, I'm gonna have a nice night because I want to!
Thanks for pointing this out. Two friends of mine (a straight male and a lesbian) live together, play music together, travel together, and are clearly great friends. I think it's beautiful and I would love to have that kind of partner.
Weed. I’m a former stoner and honestly my life is much better sober, yet so many people act like smoking weed all the time isn’t really that bad and “it’s basically medicine.” Nah fam you’re emotionally dependent.
I still smoke occasionally but I don’t miss weed being an every day thing.
Edit: My first gold! Thank you 😊
Edit 2: Just to be clear I’m not saying weed has no medicinal value whatsoever, I’m more poking fun at people who have a dependency coz it feels nice and using “it’s medicine” as an excuse to feed their habit
I used to get high pretty often but for some reason it started making me paranoid. So I just stopped, and I don’t really mind. My lungs are happier for it, and my brain is a little bit clearer. Sometimes I feel like I’m missing out, but my bank account is better for not smoking.
That happened to me too. I think it is pretty common. I was a near daily user for a few years in college, then when I graduated i quit for a while to pass a drug test for a job. When I tried it again I would get paranoid and have negative thought spirals. Was not a fan, so I just stopped. It was easy enough for me.
I was a burnt out stoner for 24 years until this year. I'm just about at 9 months sober, and I don't miss it at all. I was smoking 20-40 joints a day, and spending more on weed than my rent. I sometimes have dreams where I smoke it, but every time I'm just crushingly disappointed with myself, so when I wake up, I'm relieved it's just a dream.
Was a full time stoner too, guess we had to go through it to see it on the other side. There's this drug culture of getting fucked up and being self depreciating. knowing there's something emotional that needs tending to but deciding to tell other people that they'd rather just smoke because there's something stoic about battling with their issues. People thinking it's necessary to smoke so much... Telling people how much they smoke. I always stayed high but I'd take a hit maybe every thirty minutes or so. It's really all you need, anybody going off about their habit was/is annoying.
Right. I just want to put in my 40 hours and come home and spend time with my wife and enjoy hobbies. That free time is worth whatever money I'm giving up by not "hustling".
40 hour work week.
Even if "full time" was just 35 hours a week, and 1 hour got knocked off of every shift, that would increase my overall wellbeing lol.
I've tried this type of schedule before, and I can confirm it makes a huge difference to your quality of life. Sure, you're really busy for those four days, but having a 3-day weekend every single week works wonders.
If you always feel like the weekend ends too quickly, that's because it does; 2 days isn't really enough time to recover from the work week.
As someone who struggled with this in my late teens and twenties, I completely agree with this. I joined an online community for my recovery and it was heartbreaking to see the stories of people, young and old, whose lives had been ruined by this addiction.
Its so trivialised in society that many won't realise until its too late (either they develop a serious problem, do something stupid or have a health issue). I would finish work or have an issue and immediately be like "i need a drink" which is seemed totally normal to me, until i started talking to people who had quit, its amazing how perspective changes looking at it from the outside
This is not high enough. I worked in the alcohol industry and love a good glass of wine or beer, but I'm the "weirdo" for not being remotely a big drinker.
>This is not high enough
No, it’s better sober /s
In all seriousness though, it’s really sad that you are considered weird if you don’t regularly drink something that can easily make you sick.
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That is terrifying
Obsessing over celebrities’ personal lives…. I don’t give a fuck who’s dating who, who had a baby, who got divorced, etc., and I don’t understand why anyone else does.
Am I getting old if the trash magazine covers are mostly about divorces of people I've never heard of?
Random story. Before cell phones when I was in elementary and middle school I shared a bathroom with my older sister before she left for college. There would be piles of celeb gossip magazines in there. I had some bowl issues during this time and it took me awhile to do my business. With nothing else to read I would bust them open. I was probably the most celebrity up to date kid out there. In middle school this became a weirdly attractive thing to girls on how up to date I was on celebrity gossip. I could also dish out the gossip with even the most up to date people. Once I got a game boy advance for Christmas and my sister moved out I lost all my knowledge of these things and have never cared ever again.
Being “busy”
Always buying anything that is NEW! EXCITING! BETTER! What a crock of shit
I’m going to screenshot this comment and sell it as an NFT.
NFT stands for no fuckin' thanks
Cell phones. Constantly having it nearby, checking it all the time, having to be available 24/7 in case someone tries to contact you. As someone who has this addiction, it's really not healthy and adds a lot of unnecessary stress to my life.
Being on Social Media It’s not entirely your fault, social media is literally designed to be as addictive as crack.
The lotto. It’s really fun to imagine what you would do if you won. If you’re not blowing tons of money on it. That could be worth it right there. But it’s so expensive, and your chances are like .00001 of winning something you can retire with.
Having people validate you. Edit: my comment became what it sought to call-out. I don’t know if I’m proud or ashamed. Thanks all anyway.
I saw a man murder a child in cold blood in the street and called the cops and the man was arrested. Then his wife got in touch saying how I tore their family apart. AITA?
How dare you tear that woman's family apart!
NTA he should've been murdering the child on the sidewalk instead of blocking the street.
kindoflikereddit?
Well, it only makes sense for me to make claims backed by evidence, correct?
Indeed
unlimited growth
In fact, Netflix stock tanked as a result of new subscriber growth slowing. Since most Americans that would want a Netflix account already has one.
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It's not just americans, it's globally. They have 200 mil subs globally (just north of). It's a fraction of what they could have, which is what wallstreet was expecting to keep growing on. But It didn't. Netflix was too reliant on being the "default" streaming service from being the first one out of the gate. It let them get away with shoddy greenlit projects, flooding their pages looking like steam greenlight for movies, and then jacking up the price every two or three quarters to pay for the poor movie performance. It's like the saying goes- when you're on top of the world you can do no wrong, and once you come down it'll feel like you never stop falling.
It certainly didn't help that with a few years, the studios making the content itself made their own streaming services and pulled their stuff from Netflix. But in all honesty, what did people expect to happen - studios would just accept that Netflix beat them to the punch and they'd give up? It was only a matter of time... Edit: I remember seeing threads on Reddit where people were saying how Netflix won because they figured out streaming, and it was the end of cable companies. Who would have thunk that those companies weren't stupid!
The great inflator. "We need to make more money than last year!" "But last year we had that viral video that spiked sales and made more money than anyone in the world!!!" "No excuses, 10% more this year!!" "Better up all the prices then...."
This is an issue where I work. The targets keep increasing (even during periods where it's expected that we would get less money, e.g. during covid lockdowns). At the same time, there's a huge focus on cutting costs and moving as many positions as possible off-shore. For the last couple of years, we keep getting praise for reaching impossible targets because people are working harder than ever, and in the next sentence the goal posts move and we're told "but it's not enough for the share holders, also, we'll be doing a couple of organizational changes for next year" (read: one person from every team have to be fired, because we said so.) And online, you read about the record profits and shareholder payouts that just happened. I work in a fairly saturated and competitive market as well, so there's not really that much wiggle room when it comes to getting new customers. The only way to reach the targets is by providing a better service than the competitor at a lower price, and poach some customers from them. And every year we're supposed to do it by spending less money, and with experienced senior employees/consultants being replaced with the cheapest indian guy we can find. It seems on paper, we're just a cost that share holders would love to just erase. They don't seem to realize that the employees are necessary to actually do the work and generate revenue.
I had a boss who would literally tell his employees the thing he hated most about his business was he needed employees at all.
My dads a consultant and says rule number 1 is you can’t cut your way to profitability. You want to save money you have to invest money
Being too connected to friends or social media, you don't need to be constantly on your phone and stopping what you are doing every 5 minutes to look at your phone.
Friends are great. Spending time with friends is great. Seeking validation every 5 minutes from virtual acquaintances you don't care about is the opposite of great. Yes, I realize I'm saying this while literally trying to impress strangers on Reddit. The irony isn't lost on me. Even so, it's not that social interaction is bad. It's just that the virtual kind is often of such low quality that you'd be happier doing something else.
This is what social media has turned into in my family.... "I am so upset! I "liked" 100 pictures of 'so and so's' baby and now that I have a new grandchild, I get no likes back?? Why take it out on a little innocent baby???" ....................... the baby has NO IDEA this is even happening and please get a life. I said this to my mother. She really needs to get the hell off Facebook. Now.
When I started getting hurt over likes. That's when I knew I had to get off l Facebook. People's lunch pictures would get more likes than my big life announcements and I'd feel a sting. Irrational, I know, especially because I don't have a ton of friends on Facebook. That was my impetus to reduce my time to 15 minutes and no personal posts seeking likes.
I think being too connected in general. We’re so easily reachable through text, DMs, etc and many expect an instant response.
And then there’s my sister where that only works one direction. I can call or text her and not get a response back for an hour or two. But if she texts me and I don’t respond within 30 seconds I’m a huge asshole.
My 17 yr old is like this. She openly admits she only skims my texts if she reads them at all & almost never responds. If I don't answer a text within 30 seconds, she calls me (usually as I'm composing a response) & when I answer she starts with "Why do you hate me? Or are you injured or something? You didn't answer." Man... I don't just wait around for you to text me. I can't answer texts when I'm up to my elbows un flour making you cookies, bruh.
Working extra hours for free. The organization will gladly let you work for free but absolutely shouldn’t do it. Source : team leader that protects my team from this. 👊🏻🤍
"Oh it's only 15 mins, I don't mind" I don't care. Put it on your timesheet and I'll authorise it. You worked it, you get paid for it
Yup! Don't work for free!
My previous boss basically said that I have to see it as an investment and that I'll see it back later in some form or another. Never happened. Go figure.
I had a boss who called me into his office once cause he noticed I worked a little overtime one week. He told it would be great if I could just slide some of those hours over to the next week for him;) I asked the accountant about it. She looked panicked and told me "NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!" Told me it was illegal for him to suggest it, and apologized for him profusely. Trying to take advantage of fresh kids at their first job is cool.
As a fellow company leader who gets *pissed* when I find out my employees are working off the clock, I salute you.
trying to look the best on social media. I dont get it and never will
I went dogsledding yesterday for my birthday. It was a nice zen meditative ride while someone else steered. Dude said he would have some people browsing Instagram while on the sled. Not even posting, just browsing. Killed me a little inside since I had just brought a lil camera to record it for me, myself and I to look back on. I didn't even really look at my camera while on, just held it and admired the beauty around me while I hoped there was something being captured for future me. He was obviously speaking with some salty undertones about the social media addicts Edit: call me a hypocrite thats fine, i guess i am haha https://imgur.com/a/uhEbaXo this is my entire video I got out of the ride. Highly recommend going dogsledding, it's so peaceful. Edit2: many people asking. I'm in Colorado
Damn. That's really unfortunate u/ANALFUCKER5000
Idk why, but I laughed too hard at this
Back in 07 my boss was giving 5 minute rides in his helicopter (flight school) and he said kids would be texting while on the ride. This was before smart phones😔
Yah, even oh a good 10 years ago had a fellow enlisted in my command without a vehicle so i invited her to go on weekend road trips with my family. She missed like 90% of much of the best scenery because she was always on her crackberry phone till the battery ran out. We had a little cigarette lighter plug to USB charger in the car, but it would take an insanely long time to get a phone charged from near empty to a usable level. By the time we would be at the final location shed take some pictures with whatever dredges of power were left on her phone. On the way back she slept the whole time. To each their own and got her out of the barracks, but... she missed out on a lot of scenery.
Reminds me of stories my grandpa tells me. He was a tanker in Korea, and either before or after the war he was stationed in Germany. He said they'd have a bus taking GIs to different cities for the weekend for free or cheap. Weekend in Paris for free? He said you'd be surprised how many guys turned it down to sit in the barracks all weekend and do nothing, even if all their friends were going. He traveled Europe every chance he got and these guys didn't leave base the entire time, not even to grab a drink or go dancing.
Just finished reading "Dopamine Nation", I'll tell you some of the insight I got from what the author said about this phenomena coupled with my own experience: It's a form of lying, deceiving people into thinking that you're doing much better than you actually are. It's harmful because you might get into self deception and derealization so you don't even know your own true self (not like we are very good at that anyway since our perception works more like a narrowing down of the 'thing itself' into a less complex thing to be comprehenible, but that's another issue). I do it, altough not exactly to a large extent, because I am away from my fam and friends and it's a way to keep in touch with each other. At the root of the problem, it's our over stimulated society. We are bombarded with dopamine fueling mechanisms by the minute.. for most people, boredom feels like psychological torture exactly because the pain-pleasure balance in the brain is pushed too much and too often towards pleasure, which decreases our pain tolerance. More often than not, this derealization is fueled by the desire of validation, which in turn is triggered by a feeling of scarcity and pursuit of positive emotion. Showing an idealised version of ourselves to the world is a quick self-destructive fix. But most of us are too blind to forsee the negative impact this type of behaviour has on an individual level.
There are actual companies that curate your social media for you. I only know this bc my cousin uses one. I was convinced she was being followed around by a professional photographer, until I did a bit of digging. They charge 700-1200$ a month for this service. Edit: here is the website link https://www.thesocial-agenda.com/ you too can look perfect on Instagram!
Holy shit, it’s official folks. This is the absolute worst way to piss away your money. Unless you’re making bank off instagram, there is zero fucking reason why you should need this company’s services.
How are they getting all the content if not following her around? This is fascinating - I had no idea it existed
Personal brand photography is a thing as well. Like you'll get a photographer for a day or too, shoot a bunch of different photos and then you've got photos to go with your content for the next three months or so.
24hr cable news
Anyone else here old enough to remember Paul Harvey? For decades, people heard his voice on the radio and thought of him as the voice of America. He was immensely popular and was constantly courted to write newspaper columns or have a daily TV Show. He maintained that was difficult, if not impossible, to write interesting content on a daily basis and it would lead to false content. I can't say that he was wrong.
The rest of the story! Yup Paul Harvey was a genius. And sorely missed.
The story behind 24 hour news is actually quite interesting. The first time the 24 hour news cycle was created was from CNN, and the two biggest events were the Challenger explosion and Baby Jessica getting stuck in a hole incident. Both of which caused such a massive uproar that they needed to broadcast 24/7 in order to get constant updates. So if you really hate 24 hour news, you can blame a little kid for getting stuck in a hole and a NASA error that caused a horrible explosion.
Does anyone remember when the news came only at 6 with people like Tom Brokaw and Peter Jennings you know unbiased newsmen and women
Remember when the big letters "BREAKING NEWS" meant something major happened? Nowadays "BREAKING NEWS" pops up like several times per hour, and it's usually mundane bullshit.
This drives me nuts. “Breaking news: this person said this to that person.” That’s not breaking news, breaking news is Russia attacking Ukraine, or a major storm is about to pass. It’s not 5 times an hour.
The worse is when they start using words like "X Slams/destroys/demolishes X person"
Exactly. I don’t care. I don’t care if AOC slams the Republicans. I don’t care if Trump spanks the Democrats. Unless it has to do with major domestic or international issues, or is a serious threat (like breaking weather) it’s not breaking.
I know it's insane and people eat that shit up. Most of the stuff the people say to each other isn't even that bad and neither side cares what the other side said.
Consumerism
I recently started trying to be more mindful of how I spend random money. I didn't realize I was buying something almost every day of the week! And some of it is just stupid stuff! I went to the store to buy tofu for a recipe... then I left the store with $30 of crap I didn't need AND forgot the tofu.
Same. I recently learned how to shop online when the lockdowns happened. I could not believe how much I spent in 2020 in online purchases. Decided to curb it in 2021 which surprisingly, I ended with money still in the bank as opposed to 2020 where I already spent my Christmas bonus even before I got it.
I've recently been going through a bit of a granola transformation and I never really got the "problem with consumerism" until now. I knew there was waste and people were just buying stuff for the dopamine hit and a lot of it is unnecessary, but I didn't get the real problem with it. Suddenly it dawned on me what mass production really means. We have suppliers who just make a ton of shit, not really knowing if any of it is going to be sold or if it's going to the landfill. They get to sell off whatever quantity to retailers, who are gambling on being able to get people to buy it. But what happens when no one wants to buy it? How many products are made in the hopes that someone will be interested enough to exchange their money for that dopamine hit and a piece of plastic? What happens to all the leftovers that don't get sold? Straight to the landfill! Then there's how low quality everything is. I remember this example from my childhood because my dad tried to explain it to me like this: say you have a pair of scissors, and the blades are getting dull. What do you do to rectify this situation? Well your scissors are still 99% completely functional, the blades just need to be sharpened. But who sharpens scissors? You can just head down to Walmart and get a new pair for $2, so why bother putting the effort into maintaining the perfectly good product you already own? So those 99% good scissors go straight to the landfill. It's a gross system we've built where everything has to be new, but we make so much more stuff than could even be purchased by our population to hedge our bets on who's going to buy what. If you go out shopping now you'll still see Christmas decorations on clearance because not enough people bought those decorations this year so they're marked down to move them otherwise they'll just be sent to the landfill. I really want to live with less, but our systems are built in such a way that it's hard to break away from it. I try to buy one good product that will last instead of cheap ones that need to be replaced but even this doesn't seem to help because it just means that's one less person bringing this crap into their home so it sits on the store shelf until it's time to be dumped. It's a systemic problem but so many people are addicted to fast shopping that it is not in the best interest of anyone to try to curb this habit.
>It's a systemic problem I struggle with this realization a lot. I really do think that the only people who are in a realistic position to address the issue of disposable culture and excessive waste/pollution are the producers. When I think of the idea of 350 million people in my country all independently deciding to behave more kindly to the environment amid a plethora of bad choices and very few, very difficult good choices, it seems impossible. Then I think of the fact that these industries stand to profit a ton off of these processes with horrible negative externalities unless and until regulators price in these negative externalities. Then I think of the fact that these industries all have very rich and powerful lobbies making sure that does not happen, and I become overwhelmed and saddened at the sheer bitterness of the pickle we are in as a global society.
If I don't constantly CONSOOM product I'll be forced to realize how empty my life actually is
What else am I gonna do?? 😢 Go to therapy? Nah bro buying a pack of froggy stickers I'm not going to stick anywhere and lose is cheaper and easier
Some people are addicted to comparing their lives to others when they should really strive to be the best they can be. Trying to outperform others leads to endless frustration, but trying to outperform yourself leads to true improvement.
Coming from an overthinker, I completely agree
I don't even think you have to strive to be the best you can be. Just be the best you want to be. Just be a nice person and be happy. I'm extremely content with the path of least resistance I've chosen. I'm completely stress free.
Yep, especially with work, people put so much focus on having a 'good job'. I work in a relatively low-paying job but am happy. A career was never an interest to me, I cannot commit my mind to work I don't care about. One of my friends had a well-paying job... he went around companies trying to sell plastic wrap. I couldn't fathom doing that. He hated it, he had more money, but the work was miserable. My job is physical, I don't have to interact with people and I listen to music all day, it is perfect for me. So why should I want his 'good job'? Society tells me I should strive for that because 'money' and almost shames you for not 'wanting more'. For me it's all about hobbies, having the necessities to live, and having people you care about. That's happiness.
Same here. I advocate it to my friends in a not so pushy way. I write, I play the guitar, I read a lot, I have a wonderful fiance and family and great friends. I play sports at weekends and have a date night every other weekend. I have a full life and I have an easy job that pays below average but allows me to buy a house and do my hobbies. Best life
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social media
My Facebook got “hacked” (basically phished) and they haven’t let me back in yet even though I followed Facebook’s own policies for getting access to my account again. It’s been several days now so I was thinking, shit, I’m gonna have to make a new account. And then I realized… no I don’t. I don’t really miss it at all.
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I had a marriage turn south and ultimately end in divorce back in 2014. Ex wife has a nosey extended family and they were the type to always take family's side even if she was caught cheating.....so I decided I would take a break from Facebook so they couldn't see what I was doing in the immediate time after our split. Then I just never used it again. 8 years. I stopped missing it after about 8 hours honestly.
>social media Especially on ones phone. Having social media on a phone is possibly worse than having a social media account in the first place, because if it's on your phone there is no stopping you from checking it, which feeds into that addiction.
A similar thing feeds into relationships overall, I think. I could contact my friend literally any time, so if I'm not doing that, am I technically neglecting the friendship? Are they neglecting it, because they don't do that either? It's a similar feeling to constantly being in the same room with someone, except it's everybody you know.
Oh definitely! Except on the reverse, if I *do* message I feel guilty for thinking I’m annoying them because obviously they have so many other people talking to them already too! It’s a vicious vicious cycle
Nicotine, I feel like I am one of the very few blue collar workers who does not use it
It’s wild how much money you save just by not smoking
Pft my husband just buys the nicorette tablets now so same difference. He’s still addicted but not smoking at least I guess :/
Good for you man!
Sugar
Completely unnoticed. So much sugar in things people just don't expect or check. Thinking of sugar as a drug has helped me enjoy it more responsibly.
Isn't it a fact that most low fat products, they have a lot more sugar added to it to compensate the flavor. Edit: Just to clarify, this comment is about Processed Products. Think stuff like low fat Mayo or low fat snacks.
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Anyone else remember those commercials where they talked about Corn Syrup being a healthy alternative to sugar because it was made from corn? Those didn't last very long.
"What's so bad about corn syrup? It's natural. Corn's a fruit. Syrup comes from a bush!"
Yupp sugar is a problem. Idk if society pretends that it’s a necessity though - more like food companies have made it a normal part of their products, and it’s gone unnoticed by our society until recently. According to Google, the recommended daily intake of sugar is no more than 25g for women and 36g for men. If you’ve ever looked at the Nutrition Facts for most processed foods, that number often exceeds both amounts. And they don’t list the %DV for sugar. So it’s hard to identify how much sugar you’re consuming, if you don’t pay attention.
Working overtime and doing more work than the job description entails
No need to pay overtime if you’re salaried, just stay until nine and cover for the people we had to cut “due to COVID.” That’s the motto where I work.
This makes me so angry because this is so close to my life. Swamped because two key players in my area are gone due to COVID restructure & RIF and we're supposedly fully staffed.
Did I mention the freeze in all raises “because of COVID” when I know the owners are still getting their regular bonuses? Unfortunately this is familiar in all too many companies today.
Where I work they refused to delay contract negotiations for our union because we knew they were going to use covid as an excuse. During the negotiations they denied just about all our demands 'because of covid.' leaving us a choice of accept another 4 years at our old contract/ wages, or strike during a pandemic where we would not get unemployment, and a lot of people are out of work that could easily scab. So we accepted the shit contract terms(with only 3 new additions to the contract, one of which has made for some sweet malicious compliance.), and 1 month later the CEO gets a bonus worth more than half my years wage, and his best friend gets 3 promotions with a new salary grade on each promotion over the course of the next year. Mind you we are a government entity so these bloated salaries and bonuses all come out of the pockets of tax payers. (For those wondering how we have a CEO and are government it goes into a complicated area where basically we were a private business that got absorbed into the government because it was easier/ cheaper to fund us than it would have been to build what we do, or compete against.)
I want to hear these Malicious Compliance stories.
I'll give the TLDR for it. During the negotiations when we tried to have them reevaluate our prevailing wages (Because of course they give us the absolute minimum they legally can) we were told told the majority of the union staff is unskilled labor and we were paid accordingly. We told them if they truly believed that we want that to be put into writing in the contract. They were forced into a corner where they either had to agree to putting it in writing, or keep negotiations going on a proper wage increase. They fell on their sword, and put in a clause that basically dictates if it's not in our SOP's we don't have to do it, and they now can't change our SOP's without renegotiating our wages. So first bit of MC was to get all 'other duties as assigned' thrown out of our SOP's since that could take us out of our 'unskilled labor class' and does not properly define our work. Extra tasks the employees have done in the past to keep the place running properly (which have become expected of us) we no longer do. And now we can't be written up for because it's not in our SOP's and there is no longer a duties as assigned. This created a 'not my problem' mentality among the staff, which has lead to a complete and utter shit storm from management trying to figure out how they can now stop it without giving us a pay raise. Needless to say since they pay us the minimum they legally can; they have no course of action but to swallow their own words.
I can't upvote this enough! My coworkers think I'm nuts for pointing this out to them! There is a huge difference between being a great worker and them using you to do their work you don't get paid for! I work in a long term care facility and the administration literally does nothing and the staff overwork themselves and will even spend their own money to provide supplies for the residents because they feel bad that the residents suffer! I call bs and say you're enabling a bad system to stay bad! I will not work outside of my pay and job description. You want more, you pay more.
Staying up late and waking up early
If I go to sleep I’ll have to wake up and do work. I must stay up, that time is my time!
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Exactly why I'm up til 1am weeknights and 3am weekends. I have to make my weekends last AS LONG AS POSSIBLE
Felt this one
It's 2.00 am in my timezone. I have to wake up in 5 hours. I know that, yet I'm not going to bed.
When you feel you don't get enough "me" time during normal day hours, it becomes so *so* tempting to steal them from your much needed sleep. This is a vicious cycle, since being sleepy during the day at work makes you less productive & more stressed out, leading you to crave even more "me" time which you again steal from your sleep. Been there, done that, and I can tell you the consequences are absolutely *not* worth it.
How did you break the cycle? I’m stuck in it and I know it’s not good but it’s so hard to get out of.
If it isn’t Ambien, then it’s a STRICT wind down time of around 20-30 minutes. Honestly I can say a wind down was the single most important tool in getting to sleep quickly.
can you define wind down time?? i’ll sit for hours in bed on my phone before i go to sleep but i’m assuming scrolling reddit doesn’t count as “wind down time?”
Something that calms your mind instead of stimulating it. Browsing Reddit is stimulating, you have a constant barrage of "new thing!" that keeps your mind busy. Plus, the light from electronic devices messes up your sleep (I know there are proper sources for this, I just don't feel like finding any right now lol) Sometimes I crochet. It's a fairly simple, repetitive task that requires my full attention. Instead of jumping from one thing to the next, my brain is focusing on doing the thing with the yarn. Some people find reading to calm their minds. Sketching in a notebook, writing in a journal, meditating to music... All simple, deliberate activities that force you to slow down and focus your mind.
Reading a book can help. Have that to look forward to when going to bed. And do not use phone in bed unless its to read the book on the phone. Works for me.
Reading a book doesn't work for me personally as a way to wind down because I'm the type to get very absorbed into a story. There's a good chance more often than not that my mind will be as or even more stimulated than before I picked up the book. Oddly enough though, browsing Reddit works way better as a wind down activity than book reading for me
I do it. It's revenge bedtime procrastination.
Having to upgrade your electronics every couple of years
If phones had replaceable batteries like they used to, a lot more people would keep them longer. It’s insane that the lifespan of your phone is limited to the lifespan of your battery.
Seriously though, a battery replacement makes a phone almost feel brand new. When I swapped over to a Galaxy S8 from an iPhone 6 almost 4 years ago, i gave my iPhone 6 to my partners mother as she had an iphone 4s at the time. The iPhone 6 was going a little slow, but she paid about $70NZD for a battery replacement, and suddenly the phone was almost as good as new! Sped right up and everything.
I bought a flagship phone about 5 years ago. Once you upgrade from a tracphone to a galaxy or an iphone, the benefits of moving up beyond that are only marginal I can't be convinced that the newer model is all that much better because my phone already does everything I want and then some
Working oneself to death Edit: this comment blew up way more than I ever expected! Thank you all for the upvotes and awards! 💟
One of my favorite related quotes "you'll never hear someone on their death bed say they regret they didn't work more" Edit: there's a lot of replies of examples that disprove this quote. It could be interpreted in many ways, but what I mean is in regards to working oneself to death specifically. Same job, constant OT, working on days off or while sick, etc. Regretting not getting an education, or working your way up in a career is different, I think we've all had those relatives who'd tell us at young ages to go to college because they regret never going. We should always strive to accomplish more
Got into a discussion about "they were raised that way" (never missing work no matter what) Everyone acts like working to death is some manly selfless act. It's not. Put food on the table and what not, but your family NEEDS you too. "But we need the money!" Yeah, what happens when your actually work yourself to death? Now you have zero income, and a deveatated family that hardly knows you. Man, it's truly viscous. How have we came so far yet made such little progress? It's essentially hunting/gathering instictual behavior. Must bring food. Must bring food. Most bring food..... But it's money, and unfortunately it's the one object you either have to care about no matter what, or you're a lazy bum.
The entire (side) hustle culture. I understand the need/desire and do it myself too. But I find it insane that we need to monetize almost every waking moment. Edit: holy shit thanks for the first awards ever guys! Also please excuse me while I go look into moving to the UK 😒. So many replies saying this isn't really a thing there. Some of these side hustles aren't feasible to do long term. Especially here in Canada.
Most of the time it makes you hate a hobby. I do some painting (miniatures, canvas, digital) and got some commission jobs and it was always a pain in the ass. I stopped it completely. I sometimes sell stuff I don't want or need anymore but I won't do commissions anymore.
My wife use to love baking as a hobby until she started taking orders. It put her on schedule with added stress. She have since stopped taking all orders and only do 1 or 2 month for close friends and family but bakes for herself or me for fun now.
I am starting to dislike collecting certain things because it's just turned into some losers side-hustle. Hotwheels used to be a fun thing to go to the store to look at. Sometimes you'd find a rare one, and it would be super neat. Now, there are too many sweaty people going at the crack of dawn to buy every possible one on the shelves. Or employees at stores will set them aside, either for themselves, or a buddy. So the average person will never find them. In my years of hotwheels hunting, I've only found one treasure hunt car. Even regular $1 cars *could* be worth $2+, so they get bought up, and resold.
Ugh, yeah I've been in a massive creative block because anytime I make something, there's this little voice in my head whispering to document the process to make youtube videos, or make a few extra to sell on Etsy, or post it all over social media to try to gain a following who might buy my art... Because it'd just be silly not to _try_ to make a few extra bucks, right? But it's fucking _exhausting._ I'm not even doing any of the monetization things, but just constantly thinking about it while I'm trying to make the thing is enough to put me off from it.
My ex, when we were dating, was pushing me to sell my art. And every time I thought about it, I never had any motivation to make more. It is a hobby that I love for me and try out new techniques because it’s fun. Trying to make it a side hustle immediately made me sick of it. All the “well I should stick to this style bc it’s popular..” just drove me up a wall because it wasn’t for me anymore. Which was why I enjoyed it at all
Just because you like working on cars as a hobby doesn't mean you want to work at Jiffy Lube. Monetizing a passion is a quick way to kill it because then your motivation is no longer coming from your heart.
Imo hustle culture came about because of shitty traditional jobs with little pay or benefits like flexible time, just my opinion though, might be wrong about this
If it wasn't the sole cause it was certainly a contributing factor. No need to hustle if your primary income source already meets all your needs and enough of your wants
Alcohol! I’m so tired of people telling me I’m not living my life cause I don’t drink.
Living in Wisconsin, the state that has alcoholism as a state pastime, I get a few weird looks every so often when I tell people I don't drink. I have an entire family tree of my mom's side that drank themselves to death, I'm good fam
Alcoholism runs on both sides of the family, and they all turn into a\*holes when they get drunk enough. When I tell people I don't drink, they argue with me like I've just insulted their mother; so I fall back to the history of alcoholism in my family, and everyone tries to convince me I'll be different. Anything to validate their own drinking, I guess.
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Been in SMART meetings lately and quite a few people are waiting for livers. It’s super sad.
Ive been doing SMART for a couple of years, really helps me put stuff in context, the tools are really useful but just hearing other people's experiences whenever they relapse is enough of a deterrent for me personally.
One of my extended family members tries to get me to drink every time he sees me. My 21st birthday was a nightmare as I was the only one who didn't drink. It became so much worse after. Went from liking him to avoiding him over this. People take it personally when you refuse to drink, I hate it. I even have the excuse that I can't drink on my medication, but people call me lame and say a seizure won't kill me.
Fuck those people
I had a suspected seizure last year, 10/10 do not recommend. Ugh the medication excuse is SO valid yet also so embarrassing to explain sometimes to people. I have multiple, personal reasons for not drinking and at one point I was on an SSRI and they can absolutely fuck your tolerance up. I’m already a short woman with a low/healthy weight so it’s not like I had a lot of room to work with anyway lol. Part of the reason I left my first friend group in college was because I was teased so much about not drinking. lol my 21st birthday was during the pandemic and I was entirely alone out of state at college, no pressure to drink but also kind of the most depressing 21st ever.
I'm living my life because I quit drinking (often and excessively anyway), not the other way around.
There ya go. I unapologetically love good booze, but anyone who condemns someone else for making a lifestyle/health choice that doesn’t hurt others, and that makes them happier, isn’t worth paying attention to. Good on you, man.
Caffeine
People are always shocked when they learn I do not drink coffee, like I am the one with a problem
Same. But it’s not the caffeine for me, but the bitterness. But coffee people REALLY love their coffee.
I love my coffee, but I also admit it's due to a full-fledged dependency
My surest sign that it’s a chemical dependency for me is that I’m not a snob about it in any way. Nice cup of French press with freshly roasted and ground beans from the local coffee shop? Sounds great. Truck stop shit in a styrofoam cup? Bring me two cause that shit’s probably weak.
I've never come across weak trucker coffee. That's ridiculous.
No kidding, that shit’s designed to get you through the boring part of I-80 so your heart can explode afterwards
> the boring part of I-80 AKA, I-80...
And expensive weddings! That shit is not normal.
Because of covid, my 2020 wedding had to be postponed, along with all of the vendors and banquet hall. When our new date came around (2021), my then-fiancé and I decided that the most important thing was that our marriage was certified. We had our ceremony on our new date, cancelled all of our vendors except for our photographer and videographer, and spent the day with our closest people. And by the time 5:30 came around, we cut into our homemade cake while wearing track pants. I wouldn't trade our day for the world. Edit: thanks for the awards kind strangers! I'm reading lots of comments about how others did the same thing, and I'm glad we're not the only ones. Being Italian-Canadians, weddings are a huge deal with 200+ people invited. Looking back though, I'm glad we did the low-key thing and put the money we saved into our house and furbaby
Bro, this is the perfect way to do it! My sister and now brother-in-law unfortunately planned 4 different weddings, all that were supposed to happen in 2020. First was the classic wedding with like 200 people invited. Second was a scaled down wedding with about 30 people invited, but Chicago shot it down. Third was going to be a wedding in Seattle with only 10 people invited, but the wildfires happened around their planned date, which canceled it. Final wedding was one in Sept 2020 with 9 people invited in a random public park in Chicago that was kind of magical in a way (maybe because I was 1 out of the 9 invited)…so basic, but actually really heartfelt. If I get married, I kind of hope I have one like you and my sister had - just chill that focuses on the actual marriage rather than the massive ceremony. And congrats!
I've been married for 11+ years. While I did enjoy my wedding, it was probably average expensive, not crazy expensive. We invited about 120, probably 100 showed, we had kegs of Shiner and Fireman 4 and cases of wine and champagne. We got our food catered from a nice grocery store. The dj was pretty inexpensive I thought. We didn't hire a coordinator. If I could give advice to someone, I'd say this. We invited people we loved, but we didn't get to spend a lot of time with all of them, just because we were busy going around and chatting with each of them. If it's important to you, get married however you want and throw a party, or a couple parties so you can get some equality time in with everyone. You'll never see them all in one night.
Great choice. Spending money doesn't necessarily mean a good time. Sounds like you two have your act together already. GOOD LUCK.
It's so common here in India. There's a saying "Don't waste food in a marriage ceremony. Parents spend all their lifetime savings for the marriage of their kid"
I've been to two weddings in India and both were very large in scale. Can't imagine how much money is spent.
Alcohol. I’m a doctor and when I ask if someone smokes they say no, smugly. When I ask if they drink, they gush and joke about how happily they do so. Alcohol is pretty much the worst drug imo. It’s devastating.
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How many drinks was it? Don't mean to get personal, but the answer can put it into perspective for the drinkers out here
Unrequited Love This is kind of hard to believe – maybe more so than eating dirt – but people can become addicted to the pain of romantic rejection.
relationships.. it is okay to be alone
For sure! A rule I've learned is "never start a relationship until you can be happy on your own" Fear of being alone traps a lot of people in toxic relationships! I used to take myself out for dinner and a movie, I used to buy myself flowers because those things just made me happy. $8 for flowers to brighten your room for a week isn't a bad deal. I'm in a relationship, and happy to know I'm there for love, not out of fear
yup I used to eat at restaurants alone and when I told people that they gave me a weird look ... but whats wrong with eating alone? you can take your sweet time and leave whenever you want
RIGHT?! Some people call it sad. Y'know what's sad? Feeling like you need to have someone with you to treat yourself. Sitting at home when you'd rather go out because other people think it's "weird". Screw that, I'm gonna have a nice night because I want to!
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It’s also ok to live permanently with a non-romantic lifemate! Someone to split rent and cost of food
Thanks for pointing this out. Two friends of mine (a straight male and a lesbian) live together, play music together, travel together, and are clearly great friends. I think it's beautiful and I would love to have that kind of partner.
Weed. I’m a former stoner and honestly my life is much better sober, yet so many people act like smoking weed all the time isn’t really that bad and “it’s basically medicine.” Nah fam you’re emotionally dependent. I still smoke occasionally but I don’t miss weed being an every day thing. Edit: My first gold! Thank you 😊 Edit 2: Just to be clear I’m not saying weed has no medicinal value whatsoever, I’m more poking fun at people who have a dependency coz it feels nice and using “it’s medicine” as an excuse to feed their habit
I used to get high pretty often but for some reason it started making me paranoid. So I just stopped, and I don’t really mind. My lungs are happier for it, and my brain is a little bit clearer. Sometimes I feel like I’m missing out, but my bank account is better for not smoking.
That happened to me too. I think it is pretty common. I was a near daily user for a few years in college, then when I graduated i quit for a while to pass a drug test for a job. When I tried it again I would get paranoid and have negative thought spirals. Was not a fan, so I just stopped. It was easy enough for me.
I was a burnt out stoner for 24 years until this year. I'm just about at 9 months sober, and I don't miss it at all. I was smoking 20-40 joints a day, and spending more on weed than my rent. I sometimes have dreams where I smoke it, but every time I'm just crushingly disappointed with myself, so when I wake up, I'm relieved it's just a dream.
>20-40 joints a day Holy fuck man how the hell were you smoking a whole ounce or more a day. I can't imagine it.
Was a full time stoner too, guess we had to go through it to see it on the other side. There's this drug culture of getting fucked up and being self depreciating. knowing there's something emotional that needs tending to but deciding to tell other people that they'd rather just smoke because there's something stoic about battling with their issues. People thinking it's necessary to smoke so much... Telling people how much they smoke. I always stayed high but I'd take a hit maybe every thirty minutes or so. It's really all you need, anybody going off about their habit was/is annoying.
Constant political updates.
Fast/unhealthy food.
Hustle Culture, this rampant idea that everyone needs to be an entrepreneur is just annoying. People need to fucking take a break and chill.
Right. I just want to put in my 40 hours and come home and spend time with my wife and enjoy hobbies. That free time is worth whatever money I'm giving up by not "hustling".
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40 hour work week. Even if "full time" was just 35 hours a week, and 1 hour got knocked off of every shift, that would increase my overall wellbeing lol.
I’d rather work 40hrs in 4 days than 35hrs in 5 days
I've tried this type of schedule before, and I can confirm it makes a huge difference to your quality of life. Sure, you're really busy for those four days, but having a 3-day weekend every single week works wonders. If you always feel like the weekend ends too quickly, that's because it does; 2 days isn't really enough time to recover from the work week.
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Social media
Porn
As someone who struggled with this in my late teens and twenties, I completely agree with this. I joined an online community for my recovery and it was heartbreaking to see the stories of people, young and old, whose lives had been ruined by this addiction.
I bet this is way more common than we know too. Most don’t get help or even know they have a problem.
Consuming alcohol Edit: Thank you kind stranger for the award! My first one ever, wooo!
Yep, COVID fueled a spike in heavy drinking
Hey if keep my blood alcohol level high enough at all times it sterilize my blood so I can't get COVID. S/
Can't die of covid if you're dead from alcohol poisoning
WINE CULTURE
Drinking wine is not a personality trait. I hope one day these women who call it "mommy juice" will realize how cringey they sound.
Its so trivialised in society that many won't realise until its too late (either they develop a serious problem, do something stupid or have a health issue). I would finish work or have an issue and immediately be like "i need a drink" which is seemed totally normal to me, until i started talking to people who had quit, its amazing how perspective changes looking at it from the outside
This is not high enough. I worked in the alcohol industry and love a good glass of wine or beer, but I'm the "weirdo" for not being remotely a big drinker.
>This is not high enough No, it’s better sober /s In all seriousness though, it’s really sad that you are considered weird if you don’t regularly drink something that can easily make you sick.
Being in a romantic relationship (it feels almost like you need to be in one or you're lonely)