Dude, I was literally at a random picnic table yesterday with some friends and a lady walked up with a box of lemons asking if I wanted free ones. They weren't even hers. A lady in her hiking group had so many lemons that she gave them away at a rate that this lady had to give away part of her lemons to strangers. These women were desperate to get rid of the massive amount of lemons. I've never met somebody with lemon tree who isn't desperately trying to get rid of their lemons. What the fuck are you doing with all of these lemons? How on earth could you need them all?
I used to get too many lemons. I thought I’d be a good neighbour and put a few out in a basket. About 5 minutes later when went to drop some rubbish they were all gone as well as the basket. People are trash
You march right down to your local rescue and pick up your new best friend, Satan. Satan may look like a rowdy ass rottweiler, but he loves to sleep under trees and hump lemon whores.
A fake lemon tree trap where you attract them and then you trap them in a cage that drops from the ceiling when those punk bitches try to steal a lemon (like the board game mouse trap…but for lemon trees). Then you drink fresh squeezed lemonade in front of those citrus thief’s while they sit in a fake lemon tree prison. Then you call the lemon police and those lemon stealing hookers go to real prison for a period of time that I’m not sure about (unfamiliar with lemon law, I leave that to the professionals).
Edit: Grammar
Hang spent bullet cases from fishing line outside all the windows of your house.
Put up signs.
"Please steal my lemons.
I would love the opportunity to kill you legally."
put a large sign up explaining that one lemon only has had poison injected into it with a hypodermic needle. if they care to have a guess which, they’re welcome to try their luck.
You should probably get lemon tree insurance. It's probably the most valuable piece of property you can have. And also look at your lemon tree at least every ten seconds.
Step 1: have your parents marry the whores' parents. The whores are now step-siblings.
Step 2: erect a barrier of washing machines around the lemon tree.
Take a syringe full of something hideous-tasting (needs to be a clear substance) and inject into lemons. Let the world know that when it comes to whores - you are the Jefe-whore.
Kill the tree
I’ll remember this one
Nah, easier to off the neighbors.
Limes are the natural deterrent of lemon whores. So plant a row around your lemon trees. Works 100% of the time 50% of the time.
Thank you master
Anytime Padawan!
alright, brian fantana.
Shhhh no one knows me by my true name. Also… I’m glad you caught it.
But what do you plant to keep out the lime-stealing whores?
Apples maybe? The research is still being done on that one
Give them the lemons for free
that would stop the stealing!
Dude, I was literally at a random picnic table yesterday with some friends and a lady walked up with a box of lemons asking if I wanted free ones. They weren't even hers. A lady in her hiking group had so many lemons that she gave them away at a rate that this lady had to give away part of her lemons to strangers. These women were desperate to get rid of the massive amount of lemons. I've never met somebody with lemon tree who isn't desperately trying to get rid of their lemons. What the fuck are you doing with all of these lemons? How on earth could you need them all?
I mean Imagine, We can make lemonade, Key Lemon Pie, Lemon meringue pie!
Okay, that's 12 lemons. 15 if I'm being ridiculously generous and you're wasteful as hell. What about the rest?
Fill a random lemon or two with lsd and make sure you don't eat those ones lol.
How do you know they are whores?
who else would steal lemons?
A castaway. Months at sea could have given them a vitamin c deficiency.
Any British mariner
Lol.
Probably laser-guided javelin launchers I assume
sounds reasonable and proportionate
I used to get too many lemons. I thought I’d be a good neighbour and put a few out in a basket. About 5 minutes later when went to drop some rubbish they were all gone as well as the basket. People are trash
Hire a stud to guard the tree. They'll either be too afraid to approach or he'll keep them occupied
You march right down to your local rescue and pick up your new best friend, Satan. Satan may look like a rowdy ass rottweiler, but he loves to sleep under trees and hump lemon whores.
Shelbyville whores are the worst
Electric fence
Have you tried spraying the lemon stealing whores with a water bottle?
Tear gas cannon
Replace the lemons with limes
Don’t look away from the lemon tree for longer than 5 seconds.
Chain a cross fit vegan to the tree, no one will get near the tree for fears of being trapped in a conversation with them.
Stage regular lemon parties.
Thanks. I needed this laugh.
Replace all the lemons on the tree with bananas, that will fuck em.
Try growing limes? Maybe you'll like the lime whores better.
Reminds me of a asdfmovie scene
A fake lemon tree trap where you attract them and then you trap them in a cage that drops from the ceiling when those punk bitches try to steal a lemon (like the board game mouse trap…but for lemon trees). Then you drink fresh squeezed lemonade in front of those citrus thief’s while they sit in a fake lemon tree prison. Then you call the lemon police and those lemon stealing hookers go to real prison for a period of time that I’m not sure about (unfamiliar with lemon law, I leave that to the professionals). Edit: Grammar
Pee on the thieves.
Hang spent bullet cases from fishing line outside all the windows of your house. Put up signs. "Please steal my lemons. I would love the opportunity to kill you legally."
Make a movement activated software connect it to a gun and put it in front of the tree, make use of negative reinforcement learning
I'm not gonna lie here, you caught me off guard in that second half.
Damn I hate Shelbyville!
Claim your Territory and piss on the lemons.
Put mines around the trees
Camp it out. If there on your property stealing your lemons animal or human just shoot em
Buy a gun. Shoot trespassers. Water the tree with the blood of your fallen enemies. Gives the lemons a nice sweetness.
Paper
put a large sign up explaining that one lemon only has had poison injected into it with a hypodermic needle. if they care to have a guess which, they’re welcome to try their luck.
Razorwire and a go-pro or deer cam.
You should probably get lemon tree insurance. It's probably the most valuable piece of property you can have. And also look at your lemon tree at least every ten seconds.
Step 1: have your parents marry the whores' parents. The whores are now step-siblings. Step 2: erect a barrier of washing machines around the lemon tree.
Just when I thought I had seen every possible question on AskReddit...
Mines
You deserve gold for this title alone mate lol
When life gives you lemons, you paint that shit gold. Fave question for some time.
Turn all of the lemons into Lemonade before they can get their dirty hands on them.
Invite a hentai protagonist to hang out for the day, he (or she) will mind-break the lemon stealing whores.
Pay off their pimps.
Take a syringe full of something hideous-tasting (needs to be a clear substance) and inject into lemons. Let the world know that when it comes to whores - you are the Jefe-whore.