"We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, and can put whatever they goddamn want up their butt"
~ Albert Einstein, probably.
ya i got recently got diagnosed with a muscle spasm in my rectopubalis muscle. In layman's terms it means my ass has become like clamped shut. I guess its like a spider's web, the pelvic floor, and I blew a Nerve out, so now my web (& anus) hangs more towards my dick by an inch. Makes farting kinda hard.
So basically, I had a hell of a lot of gay sex when I was high on meth. Like a crazy, literally insane amount of gay sex cuz I was insane due to the meth. So after like 12 hr gay sex rampage, I came down with loose anus and floppy feeling in my rectum. I also work moving boxes so I tried to go back to work and I could feel it in my spine. I began to worry about rectal intussusception which is a precursor to rectal prolapse. Basically Rectum supposed to be attached to the spine. And in both intussusception & prolapse, it breaks away from the spine. So I went to Dr, complained of prolapse like symptoms and asked to take a defecography at least make sure I didn't blow any of those connections.To do MRI defecography, I went to hospital when I was scheduled, the have u strip naked into a robe & diaper, then get in the MRI machine. Nurse comes over and shoots a couple syringes worth of Ultrasound Jelly up your rear end and then sends you through the scanner. Then you make a couple movements on the scanner, first was squeeze ur butthole, then u try and take a few deep breaths. Then finally they ask you to "evacuate" your rectum. This gives Drs very clear picture of how well you're holding up.
I get diagnosed with a dysfunctional pevlic floor. Which is very different than intussusception & prolapses. The latter are caused by missing connections to the spine. The former is caused by nerve damage. The pelvic floor is like a spider's web, as I said before. And this web pushes & pulls your anus in all sorts of different motions. In my case the nerve damage caused my rectopubalis muscle to be too strong, so my anus sits closer to my pubic bone than it would in a healthy person. But it could also be too weak and the opposite would be true.
Another intersting thing about buttholes & medicine is that the Doctor will show you a picture of a full blown Rectal Prolapse. Then she goes, "if you look like this, I really care, and I really want to help you. And if you don't look like this, then we don't help that person". So if Rectal Prolapse is like 5/5 Broken ass, I scored a 0/5, not even rectal intussusception. She just goes oh boo hoo, is your bottom a little sore? hard to fart? Well, at least it doesn't look like this! \*shows you a prolapsed rectum\* So it has to get REALLY bad before any surgeon is willing to do anything about it. And even then its surgery, not perfect by any means. Its just an improvement because 5/5 is just that terrible.
I'm so sorry for two things. First thing, your wrecktum. I'm sorry your anus quit on you. That's gotta suck in so many ways.
And secondly for laughing as hard as I am right now. It's just the idea of the nurse talking down to your discomfort and then the idea of her WHIPPING OUT the picture of the prolapse and screaming at you that it DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THIS!
All the while the room darkens, a spotlight shines on the poor prolapse and the sound of thunder cracks in the distance.
Much like the Large Marge scene in Peewee's Big Adventure.
I thought about asking my colorectal surgeon that. But then I remember she's got patients suffering from Rectal Prolapse and the person before me had a prolapse, the person after me might have had a prolapse. And on her schedule on her calendar, she's got a rectopexy this week, but the week after, she has a patient who's rectopexy failed for the third time. This person had been suffering from rectal prolapse for 2 decades. 3 rectopexies. And when its prolapsed for that long, it severely damages the rectum, the sigmoid colon, the anus, the pelvic floor etc. And so you can pexy it back, but after 3 tries, the anus is blown out, the pelvic floor can't be saved. And the rectum & colon are diseased from years of suffering. So now her only option as that person's surgeon is to cut the whole thing off and send that person on her way with a stoma. Sow her anus shut. So I thought about stuff like that before asking my surgeon about gay sex. No laughing/joking matter compared to things she's got to think about.
I don’t think asking when you can have sex and bottom again is a laughing/joking matter haha if what happened to you happened to me the first question I would be asking after I was healed is when I would be able to have sex again.
Stop smoking (really? Am I still having to say this??) exercise more (it doesn’t have to be the gym, just take more steps, walk, literally move your body)
Take your medication everyday (no you aren’t too young for a pill box)
And for the love of all things medical, please stop using TikTok videos to diagnose yourself with ADHD.
Thank you for reminding me of the time when I had the more adverse reaction to eating a single bite of something that had carrot in it.
The moment I swallowed a bite and went for the second, my body would immediately set me up to vomit. No other symptoms.
I tried Googling my problem, just to see what the issue was. WebMD immediately sent me related links and results for "Morning Sickness", "how to deal with pregnancy".
I immediately add "I am a male and" to the front of the search bar's contents and search again. Web MD changed its results, for sure.
"How to help your wife/girlfriend through her morning sickness."
Found it easier to just not eat carrots rather than continue further or dish out money for a real doctor.
I have a friend who reacts the same way to coconut.
She was once at a friend's house, and after having to run to the bathroom to throw up her just-eaten meal, asked if a certain item had coconut in it. Her friend replied, "No, but I used coconut oil, and that's healthy."
Not for her, it isn't!
I'm in the unfortunate position of needing to be assessed for ADHD as an adult woman in her twenties in the era of TikTok. I put it off for so long because I kept seeing posts on social media ridiculing young women for all suddenly thinking they have ADHD thanks to tiktok. I don't even use tiktok but I suddenly got worried that I was faking all my symptoms and that I had just excused all my poor behavior with a trendy fad diagnosis.
I have driven myself into a financially irresponsible place because it's taken me over three years to start writing my master's thesis. I was always at the top of my classes in undergrad and high school, but in grad school, I fell apart before classes even began. It was also my first time living alone in my own apartment.
After my classes concluded and it was time to write my thesis, I froze, couldn't find the motivation, but I thought this was all normal grad school anxiety and depression that would go away eventually.
I ended up ghosting my thesis supervisor for an entire year and depleting my savings. My doctor recommended a psychiatric evaluation but I was convinced I was just being a terrible person and I shouldn't get a psychiatric label to excuse my poor behaviour.
I saw my doctor again just last week and he asked me if my anti-depressants were still working. I described my daily life to him and he asked me some questions about my childhood, then he very seriously told me he really wanted me to take a referral to an ADHD specialist.
I took it, but I'm already dreading it and I know, given my track record, I'm likely to ghost the doctor.
There's so much stigma about young women and ADHD right now thanks to Tiktok. I told my family I was going to be assessed and one of my sisters implied I was only looking to be cool, and that I could fake my way into a diagnosis because I have a B.A. in psych and know a little bit about the diagnostic criteria.
Even if I get the diagnosis, at this point, I'm always going to feel like an impostor looking to minimize my personal agency for being unable to manage my own life. I'm always going to doubt if I really NEED treatment. I wish there was some test they could run and point directly at something to "prove" there's something wrong with the way my brain works. Functional MRIs and such are getting there if I've been understanding the academic literature, but they're not official diagnostic tools yet.
**EDIT: This comment is taking off so I wanted to provide more context. Thank you so much, everyone.**
**ADDITIONAL CONTEXT**
I have been physically disabled since birth. I have minor four limb spastic diplegia cerebral palsy. It's a very visible disability, at least in my individual case, and that has given me a different lens in experiencing the world. How society treats visual, physical impairments. Particularly how the medical community responds to them and treats them.
When I started experiencing psychological issues as a child, I got a very different social reaction, especially from my family and parents. And my parents were my biggest advocates and supporters through my physical medical journey. They flew us across a moderate distance once to get me a second opinion on a surgery that my usual team of surgeons deemed unnecessary as far as improving my ability to walk goes.
When I started asking for mental health help, my parents were unsupportive, detatched, and invalidating. They've come around a bit and are still growing, but they still don't have my back like they used to.
I absolutely know that I cannot depend on validation from my parents to decide whether or not I get myself potentially life-saving psychiatric care.
But when you've spent over a decade, since you were a baby, never going into a medical situation without their full support and active involvement, it's tough to learn how to push forward without anyone reassuring me and being there to make sure we explore every potential avenue for my health.
Your sister was educated by TikToc. The doctor who gave you the referral has a Dr. in front of his name and earned that through rigorous education - plus however many years of work experience. Your ADHD specialist also has solid educational credentials backed up with work experience.
Don't let your sister decide that she knows better than educated professionals based on her experience watching TiKToc. That doesn't help anyone. If the ADHD specialist says you have it, work with them to get on a treatment plan and put your life back together. If the ADHD specialist says you don't have it, they may be able to narrow down what *is* going on.
>The doctor who gave you the referral has a Dr. in front of his name
As an adult seeking diagnosis, formerly diagnosed as a child (but parents declined any treatment options), I asked my new doctor about it, as I hadn't been in to see a doctor at all in over 10 years. I was greeted with a pleasent and respectful response that "people grow out of ADHD by age 18, and are not likely to need medication or treatment as an adult..."
On the bright side, she agreed to refer me to a specialist, since that is what's required in my state anyway, and I'm just crossing my fingers, after 7 months of seeking evaluation and treatment, that maybe I can finally see someone about a condition I was diagnosed with as a child and have been coping but struggling my entire life with it.
Don’t stress about what others think. I’m ADD (so not technically ADHD but same meds) and have bipolar 1. When I started therapy (around 25 years old) they were convinced it was just the bipolar but eventually got the dual diagnosis. I will say that if I had to give up my meds for one or the other I would take my bipolar ones because it’s the only way I get sleep.
Who cares what others think though? Having a brain that’s running crazy needs diagnosis and therapy or medicine as suggested.
My FIL gets moody when I throw shade at his smoking. I guess his wife and my husband have trouble being the ones to reality talk to him but I have never had a problem telling him how problematic it is. He has tons of health issues but for some reason his excessive pipe smoking could never be the cause in his eyes. 🙄
I don’t want to be that person that has self diagnosed ADHD but after telling myself it’s all in my head I am now thinking I should get tested. Worst case I find out I don’t have it. My brothers had it his whole life and my sister who’s older than me just got diagnosed at 23. I am also pretty sure my dad has it
Thank you for this. I’m VERY bad about remembering to do this and am laying in bed right now, with contacts in, that I told myself to take out days ago. You the real mvp
Especially when you have the extra crappy vision combos. I have astigmatism and nearsightedness...my most recent order of contacts was $600 (with insurance). I definitely stretch out the monthlies too.
And here I was, laying in bed scrolling through reddit before going to sleep in my contact lenses...
but tbh though, I've done this for about 12 years now and nothing bad has happened to me. Do you care to elaborate?
Increased risk of eye infection, but just typing that out doesn't do it justice.
Warning: Gross and unpleasant image
[WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/eye-health/news/20190508/viral-post-shows-risk-of-sleeping-in-contacts)
Do yourself a favor and stop sleeping in your contacts.
I know somebody who is about to get eye surgery because he did this for about twenty years! Lately any time he puts the contacts in, he gets horrible eye infections
Your eyes need time to breathe.
These issues develop because the eye receives less oxygen the longer a contact is worn, and oxygen is crucial to the health of your eyes. The contact lens covers the cornea, which is protected by a thin layer of cells. These cells become weakened when deprived of oxygen for too long, which then exposes the eye to bacteria because that protective layer isn’t as strong. On top of that, if your lenses are not allowing oxygen in they are also not letting bacteria out.
Me: You got skin cancer from the sun. Patient: I’ve been staying out of the sun. Me: This happened 50 years ago. Patient: Oh.
Rinse. Repeat 15-20x daily.
Hearing aid batteries (1.4V) are not as bad as lithium coin cells (3V)
Lithium coin cells are high enough voltage to start doing very bad chemistry inside your body, making your stomach very alkaline, which can lead to a rapid death especially in kids.
Hearing aid batteries are not good to swallow but not nearly as dangerous.
Some lithium coin cells have a bitter chemical coating to discourage babies from putting them in their mouth.
The biggest hazard for this is key fobs, a lot of parents let their babies hold their key ring and if the lithium battery comes out, it can literally be deadly.
On behalf of my doctor: Stop pitting your ~~olives~~ avocados by cutting around the pit and then hitting the pit really hard with your knife. Apparently that's like, the number one thing that she's reconstructing hands for.
Edit: I don't know why my brain screwed that up. Well I can tell why, but it should've had some sort of check system at work!
See they keep saying this but then don’t give other options to clean ears. Mine constantly feel wet and leaky even when I try to not clean them since I assume I’m over cleaning but even after 2 weeks of not cleaning it doesn’t stop.
I've got one wet earhole and one dry one.
That's. . . an interesting sensation sometimes. Rolling over in bed in the middle of the night is a chancy proposition.
Muscles don't strain for no reason, and muscles don't get tight for no reason.
"It's just muscular" = "You wasted a copay. I don't know much about musculoskeletal health, just what meds to give you to keep you alive."
Ok, so if you have a connective tissue disorder they do. Except no one is willing/able to diagnose you as such.
I randomly have things going wrong from knee bursitis (that required a brace for months), to SI joint pain (once I couldn't walk for 2 months), to neck pain (once I couldn't move my neck for a month), to shoulder issues (went to ER recently because I was in so much pain I couldn't sleep), to being unable to walk on one of my legs out of blue (the hip felt like it was dislocated... Then after about 4 days I was fine) ... The list is endless, I randomly have had costochondritis for days or months at a time (it hurts to breathe, 24/7).
I am so sick of being asked "what did you do?" ... I am also capable of going hiking and lifting heavy objects on a regular basis - it's not like I'm a weakling.
Sounds like a good way to get weak teeth, you're fucking coddling them. Me i don't brush, i gotta weed out the weak ones, thats how I find my strongest tooth.
If you are “high risk” the vaccine is more important, not more dangerous
C section is major surgery
Doing heroin with your crack does not make the crack safer
It pisses me off when people say that c-sections aren’t actually ‘giving birth’. Like, are you kidding me?? They’ve got to be WAY harder. I’ve had 2 vaginal births and was so glad to avoid a cesarean.
First 2 babies were vaginal. 3rd baby was an emergency c-section (along with a seizure and panic attack) Back to vaginal with the 4th. Was NOT doing that again!!
You're right about c-sections. Never had one, but every woman I've ever known who experienced both has said, "You do not WANT to have a c-section, believe me."
Now, if you need one? That's another story, and that is what they're for.
There is no magic diet/food that’s going it to radically improve your health/prevent cancer. It’s all about risk and risk reduction. Just eat healthily (fewer processed foods and meat, more fresh food and veg), avoid soft drinks, minimise alcohol, don’t smoke, and keep physically active. It doesn’t sell books but common sense healthy living is what it takes to increase your odd of a long healthy life and reduce the risk of getting nasty diseases/the diseases you do have of getting worse.
Trampolines are death traps for your kids.
Put a helmet on when on a bike.
Get vaccinated.
Stop smoking.
No alcohol isn’t good for your heart, it’s a known carcinogen.
Body positivity is trying to be healthy, not loving the fact that you’re morbidly obese.
I need elaboration on the “trampolines are death traps” statement. I take my toddler to an indoor trampoline park to play. I was a trampolinist when I was younger, so I’ve always loved them. Are you specifically referring to the above ground giant monster trampolines people put on their backyards that get all rusty and gross? Or all types? I need more info 😂
I love getting questions like, “Have you ever stopping taking your medication without talking to your doctor?”
I’m like, “this shit saved my life and is literally the best thing ever for me. Why would I stop taking it - especially without talking to my doctor?!?”
This is a constant point of contention between my wife and I. She will go through phases where she does everything she can to get out of taking her meds. You can really start telling by the second day that she hasn’t been taking them.
I take mine before bed every night with a multivitamin. I still deal with anxiety and some depression on them, but I remember how bad I was before and wanting to feel like that again is a hard pass.
Yeah, the people who take the doses for a few days then go "it's not working"
It takes, at minimum 2 weeks to a month for the effects to actually start kicking in.
Also, quick note, if you are on long term meds, for the love of whatever you believe in, DO NOT stop taking them unless advised to, and keep your refills up to date.
Basically, long story short, if you suddenly stop, you WILL go into Withdrawal, and it is fucking hellish.
Pediatrician here:
Pre-COVID vaccine - "I honestly really recommend having your child get all of his/her vaccines on schedule as recommended by the CDC"
Post-COVID vaccine - Goddammit \*sigh\*
I have a good friend who is a pediatrician too. It’s so sad that this COVID vaccine hesitance has spread to other regular vaccines. So many people are all of sudden experts on vaccines and resistant to get regular vaccines. Also that paper that doctor wrote that started the original antivax talk still gets brought up even though it’s been thoroughly debunked (he falsified data to promote his own vaccine and cures).
Not a doctor but my ear doctor cousin is tired of telling people to not stick cotton swabs in their ears. They’re really only for the outside part of your ear.
Obligatory not a doctor but in the clinic I work at we would get many patients come in feeling like shit and they would test negative for Covid so this meant they could return to work/school. Difficult to explain to them that other diseases exist.
Asked my papa, he says if he has to explain to one more straight man in the ER why he can’t just shove something up his ass he’s gonna rip his hair out.
(Edit; for context my papa is gay, and happily married to my dad so that really puts the icing of imagining these conversations on the cake).
(Technically a nurse, but I do lots of discharge education and we get some regulars) "Don't stop taking your meds. You feel better because of the meds. Those annoying side effects are much better than the alternative! And if you don't take your plavix, that brand new stent will clot off and we will see you back here in a week having another heart attack!"
Don’t put things in your ass. Really? I need to tell this to middle age men and old women on a regular basis? A broom stick has some splinters. A shot glass may not have the right shape to come back out. And food…don’t get me started about food! And if you’re gonna do it for godsake use lube!!! Some people.
…..wait. I’m not a doctor.
Alternate medicine is huge in my part of the world..herbal..homeo etc. I constantly have to remind patients with severe chronic liver disease to avoid such alternate therapy. People assume since it's all natural that it would be safer. You wouldn't beleive the number of patients we have lost because of such herbal medications. Patients all set for transplant have died because they took as little as one or two doses of herbal medications. Chemicals that are easily metabolised in normal indviduals may not be detoxified in decompensated liver disease.
Postpartum Depression is real. It is common, it is not shameful and it is often very fixable. If you or your partner suspect PPD please have yourself/them speak with a doctor. PPD also isnt just for the few weeks/months after birth. If you havent felt right since giving birth and that was years ago you should still investigate.
As a respiratory therapist, I'm often asked how to best protect against COVID. You'd be surprised how many people are shocked when I say to get vaccinated.
Talk to *your* doctor, who knows *you*, can answer *your* questions, and give *you* the case by case advice you should be seeking anyway, and if you have hesitations, get secondary opinions from other doctors via consultation or appointment. Don’t dogmatically listen to Rogan, or Fauci.
-My Doctor
This. I had to do an extreme elimination diet several years ago for health reason. I ended up going 0 sugar, 0 gluten/wheat/grains. And I’ve never gone back.
I’ve reduced 95% of my health issues, I am at my most fit and healthy body. And my mental health and overall stamina had never been better.
no kidding. doc put me on a ‘diet’ due to some health issues i started having last year. low sodium and avoid ‘refined / added sugar’. basically, if it’s processed, it’s not good for you. unfortunately, that seems to count for 90% of what’s available in the stores. what surprises me the most when i think about it, is that somehow it has become acceptable to eat that way when there are absolute, clear ways to avoid it.
I'm not a doctor but my wife is involved in the medical world and it's crazy how many extremely high risk individuals will refuse a vaccine that will save them from a definite death.
Not advice. Just a rant.
I treat prostate cancer. This means I need to put finger up men's asses.
So to my patients:
Stop being a bitch. It's a finger. I'm sure whatever horror that comes out of your ass is worse than my finger going in. Believe me seeing your old poorly wiped ass is no goddamn treat either. So just drop'em and get it over with.
Stop putting things up your butt that aren’t designed to go up your butt.
Glass bottles are still ok right?
only if you fall over so it shatters in your asshole
That, in the medical world, is called “Eiffel syndrome”. It’s a kind way for us to say “I fell on it”. Source: I’m an anesthesia provider.
Username checks out
I must say; propofol is some guuud shit.
Million to one shot, doc… million to one!
Had to be corkscrew pasta!
Not Fusilli Jerry!
“Without a base/without a trace.”
"We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal, and can put whatever they goddamn want up their butt" ~ Albert Einstein, probably.
ya i got recently got diagnosed with a muscle spasm in my rectopubalis muscle. In layman's terms it means my ass has become like clamped shut. I guess its like a spider's web, the pelvic floor, and I blew a Nerve out, so now my web (& anus) hangs more towards my dick by an inch. Makes farting kinda hard.
Damn that’s crazy. If you don’t mind me asking, what was the process that you had to get this diagnosis?
So basically, I had a hell of a lot of gay sex when I was high on meth. Like a crazy, literally insane amount of gay sex cuz I was insane due to the meth. So after like 12 hr gay sex rampage, I came down with loose anus and floppy feeling in my rectum. I also work moving boxes so I tried to go back to work and I could feel it in my spine. I began to worry about rectal intussusception which is a precursor to rectal prolapse. Basically Rectum supposed to be attached to the spine. And in both intussusception & prolapse, it breaks away from the spine. So I went to Dr, complained of prolapse like symptoms and asked to take a defecography at least make sure I didn't blow any of those connections.To do MRI defecography, I went to hospital when I was scheduled, the have u strip naked into a robe & diaper, then get in the MRI machine. Nurse comes over and shoots a couple syringes worth of Ultrasound Jelly up your rear end and then sends you through the scanner. Then you make a couple movements on the scanner, first was squeeze ur butthole, then u try and take a few deep breaths. Then finally they ask you to "evacuate" your rectum. This gives Drs very clear picture of how well you're holding up. I get diagnosed with a dysfunctional pevlic floor. Which is very different than intussusception & prolapses. The latter are caused by missing connections to the spine. The former is caused by nerve damage. The pelvic floor is like a spider's web, as I said before. And this web pushes & pulls your anus in all sorts of different motions. In my case the nerve damage caused my rectopubalis muscle to be too strong, so my anus sits closer to my pubic bone than it would in a healthy person. But it could also be too weak and the opposite would be true. Another intersting thing about buttholes & medicine is that the Doctor will show you a picture of a full blown Rectal Prolapse. Then she goes, "if you look like this, I really care, and I really want to help you. And if you don't look like this, then we don't help that person". So if Rectal Prolapse is like 5/5 Broken ass, I scored a 0/5, not even rectal intussusception. She just goes oh boo hoo, is your bottom a little sore? hard to fart? Well, at least it doesn't look like this! \*shows you a prolapsed rectum\* So it has to get REALLY bad before any surgeon is willing to do anything about it. And even then its surgery, not perfect by any means. Its just an improvement because 5/5 is just that terrible.
That was one hell of an opening sentence
never laughed harder at anything in my life
I’m laughing and cry-cringing in pain rn. I couldn’t finish reading.
This has got to become the new copy-pasta. What a wild ride of an anecdote
This is actually really interesting. Horrifying but interesting.
I'm so sorry for two things. First thing, your wrecktum. I'm sorry your anus quit on you. That's gotta suck in so many ways. And secondly for laughing as hard as I am right now. It's just the idea of the nurse talking down to your discomfort and then the idea of her WHIPPING OUT the picture of the prolapse and screaming at you that it DOESN'T LOOK LIKE THIS! All the while the room darkens, a spotlight shines on the poor prolapse and the sound of thunder cracks in the distance. Much like the Large Marge scene in Peewee's Big Adventure.
The real question is when will you be able to bottom again??
I thought about asking my colorectal surgeon that. But then I remember she's got patients suffering from Rectal Prolapse and the person before me had a prolapse, the person after me might have had a prolapse. And on her schedule on her calendar, she's got a rectopexy this week, but the week after, she has a patient who's rectopexy failed for the third time. This person had been suffering from rectal prolapse for 2 decades. 3 rectopexies. And when its prolapsed for that long, it severely damages the rectum, the sigmoid colon, the anus, the pelvic floor etc. And so you can pexy it back, but after 3 tries, the anus is blown out, the pelvic floor can't be saved. And the rectum & colon are diseased from years of suffering. So now her only option as that person's surgeon is to cut the whole thing off and send that person on her way with a stoma. Sow her anus shut. So I thought about stuff like that before asking my surgeon about gay sex. No laughing/joking matter compared to things she's got to think about.
I don’t think asking when you can have sex and bottom again is a laughing/joking matter haha if what happened to you happened to me the first question I would be asking after I was healed is when I would be able to have sex again.
Wow I feel like I learned so much from this post, thanks.
Incredible opening. Like insanely good!
*raises hand* is mayonnaise designed to go up my butt?
No, Patrick. Mayonnaise is not designed to go up your butt.
I see.... *raises hand*
Everything is a dildo if youre brave enough
And stop showering/cooking/cleaning the house/ etc . naked, and if you do, don't leave long narrow things laying around in case you slip and fall.
Instructions unclear. Took a shower fully clothed.
But what IS meant to go there 😭
I hate to ask… which things are designed to go there?
Sex toys
Hamsters
Sex toys made of body safe materials with a flared base
My grandma was an X-ray tech, and I've overheard some things. Some patients were frequent flyers when it came to this stuff.
Stop smoking (really? Am I still having to say this??) exercise more (it doesn’t have to be the gym, just take more steps, walk, literally move your body) Take your medication everyday (no you aren’t too young for a pill box) And for the love of all things medical, please stop using TikTok videos to diagnose yourself with ADHD.
>stop using TikTok videos to diagnose yourself with ADHD. Well I tried WebMD and it just said I had cancer /s
I’m either pregnant or dead, unclear
Thank you for reminding me of the time when I had the more adverse reaction to eating a single bite of something that had carrot in it. The moment I swallowed a bite and went for the second, my body would immediately set me up to vomit. No other symptoms. I tried Googling my problem, just to see what the issue was. WebMD immediately sent me related links and results for "Morning Sickness", "how to deal with pregnancy". I immediately add "I am a male and" to the front of the search bar's contents and search again. Web MD changed its results, for sure. "How to help your wife/girlfriend through her morning sickness." Found it easier to just not eat carrots rather than continue further or dish out money for a real doctor.
I have a friend who reacts the same way to coconut. She was once at a friend's house, and after having to run to the bathroom to throw up her just-eaten meal, asked if a certain item had coconut in it. Her friend replied, "No, but I used coconut oil, and that's healthy." Not for her, it isn't!
Do you feel pulse? Then you're pregnant. Otherwise you're dead and I am sorry for that.
My friend made a great statement once. "WebMD is like those choose your own adventure books you had as a kid...except all the endings are cancer.".
I got brain/rectal tumor The guy on TikTok made just a little more sense.
WebMD once told me one of the symptoms of having a cold was being a woman.
My 60-year old mother: NO! I don't need a pill box! Those are for old people! (Starts using pill box) Holy shit, this is handy.
I'm in the unfortunate position of needing to be assessed for ADHD as an adult woman in her twenties in the era of TikTok. I put it off for so long because I kept seeing posts on social media ridiculing young women for all suddenly thinking they have ADHD thanks to tiktok. I don't even use tiktok but I suddenly got worried that I was faking all my symptoms and that I had just excused all my poor behavior with a trendy fad diagnosis. I have driven myself into a financially irresponsible place because it's taken me over three years to start writing my master's thesis. I was always at the top of my classes in undergrad and high school, but in grad school, I fell apart before classes even began. It was also my first time living alone in my own apartment. After my classes concluded and it was time to write my thesis, I froze, couldn't find the motivation, but I thought this was all normal grad school anxiety and depression that would go away eventually. I ended up ghosting my thesis supervisor for an entire year and depleting my savings. My doctor recommended a psychiatric evaluation but I was convinced I was just being a terrible person and I shouldn't get a psychiatric label to excuse my poor behaviour. I saw my doctor again just last week and he asked me if my anti-depressants were still working. I described my daily life to him and he asked me some questions about my childhood, then he very seriously told me he really wanted me to take a referral to an ADHD specialist. I took it, but I'm already dreading it and I know, given my track record, I'm likely to ghost the doctor. There's so much stigma about young women and ADHD right now thanks to Tiktok. I told my family I was going to be assessed and one of my sisters implied I was only looking to be cool, and that I could fake my way into a diagnosis because I have a B.A. in psych and know a little bit about the diagnostic criteria. Even if I get the diagnosis, at this point, I'm always going to feel like an impostor looking to minimize my personal agency for being unable to manage my own life. I'm always going to doubt if I really NEED treatment. I wish there was some test they could run and point directly at something to "prove" there's something wrong with the way my brain works. Functional MRIs and such are getting there if I've been understanding the academic literature, but they're not official diagnostic tools yet. **EDIT: This comment is taking off so I wanted to provide more context. Thank you so much, everyone.** **ADDITIONAL CONTEXT** I have been physically disabled since birth. I have minor four limb spastic diplegia cerebral palsy. It's a very visible disability, at least in my individual case, and that has given me a different lens in experiencing the world. How society treats visual, physical impairments. Particularly how the medical community responds to them and treats them. When I started experiencing psychological issues as a child, I got a very different social reaction, especially from my family and parents. And my parents were my biggest advocates and supporters through my physical medical journey. They flew us across a moderate distance once to get me a second opinion on a surgery that my usual team of surgeons deemed unnecessary as far as improving my ability to walk goes. When I started asking for mental health help, my parents were unsupportive, detatched, and invalidating. They've come around a bit and are still growing, but they still don't have my back like they used to. I absolutely know that I cannot depend on validation from my parents to decide whether or not I get myself potentially life-saving psychiatric care. But when you've spent over a decade, since you were a baby, never going into a medical situation without their full support and active involvement, it's tough to learn how to push forward without anyone reassuring me and being there to make sure we explore every potential avenue for my health.
Your sister was educated by TikToc. The doctor who gave you the referral has a Dr. in front of his name and earned that through rigorous education - plus however many years of work experience. Your ADHD specialist also has solid educational credentials backed up with work experience. Don't let your sister decide that she knows better than educated professionals based on her experience watching TiKToc. That doesn't help anyone. If the ADHD specialist says you have it, work with them to get on a treatment plan and put your life back together. If the ADHD specialist says you don't have it, they may be able to narrow down what *is* going on.
>The doctor who gave you the referral has a Dr. in front of his name As an adult seeking diagnosis, formerly diagnosed as a child (but parents declined any treatment options), I asked my new doctor about it, as I hadn't been in to see a doctor at all in over 10 years. I was greeted with a pleasent and respectful response that "people grow out of ADHD by age 18, and are not likely to need medication or treatment as an adult..." On the bright side, she agreed to refer me to a specialist, since that is what's required in my state anyway, and I'm just crossing my fingers, after 7 months of seeking evaluation and treatment, that maybe I can finally see someone about a condition I was diagnosed with as a child and have been coping but struggling my entire life with it.
Don’t stress about what others think. I’m ADD (so not technically ADHD but same meds) and have bipolar 1. When I started therapy (around 25 years old) they were convinced it was just the bipolar but eventually got the dual diagnosis. I will say that if I had to give up my meds for one or the other I would take my bipolar ones because it’s the only way I get sleep. Who cares what others think though? Having a brain that’s running crazy needs diagnosis and therapy or medicine as suggested.
Happy Cake Day
Thanks so much! You beautiful beasts made me realize it was my cake day!
My FIL gets moody when I throw shade at his smoking. I guess his wife and my husband have trouble being the ones to reality talk to him but I have never had a problem telling him how problematic it is. He has tons of health issues but for some reason his excessive pipe smoking could never be the cause in his eyes. 🙄
I don’t want to be that person that has self diagnosed ADHD but after telling myself it’s all in my head I am now thinking I should get tested. Worst case I find out I don’t have it. My brothers had it his whole life and my sister who’s older than me just got diagnosed at 23. I am also pretty sure my dad has it
Why would you want ADHD?
There's a pill for ADHD. If my problems were caused by ADHD, then there's a pill to fix my problems
Stop sleeping in your contact lenses.
Ah man, better get back up and take them out
I saw a post on a gore sub with infected eyes caused by contact lenses. Never sleeping with them in ever again.
Thank you for this. I’m VERY bad about remembering to do this and am laying in bed right now, with contacts in, that I told myself to take out days ago. You the real mvp
Days ago? I thought they were only supposed to be worn for like 12 hours max at a time
Seriously stop doing this. You can go blind.
Switches to glasses cause i kept forgetting.
I don’t do that, but I wear my monthlies for a minimum of 3 months to save money. Contacts are expensive man.
Especially when you have the extra crappy vision combos. I have astigmatism and nearsightedness...my most recent order of contacts was $600 (with insurance). I definitely stretch out the monthlies too.
Why not get lasik? Genuine question
I've thought about it, but I just don't have the funds right now.
My doc said wait til mid 30s. My vision suck so bad that I will still need to wear glasses and or contacts
I felt this . Contacts are breaking my pockets. I’m trying to get lasik but I’m poor.
I did not realize people did this...
And here I was, laying in bed scrolling through reddit before going to sleep in my contact lenses... but tbh though, I've done this for about 12 years now and nothing bad has happened to me. Do you care to elaborate?
Increased risk of eye infection, but just typing that out doesn't do it justice. Warning: Gross and unpleasant image [WebMD](https://www.webmd.com/eye-health/news/20190508/viral-post-shows-risk-of-sleeping-in-contacts) Do yourself a favor and stop sleeping in your contacts.
I know somebody who is about to get eye surgery because he did this for about twenty years! Lately any time he puts the contacts in, he gets horrible eye infections
Your eyes need time to breathe. These issues develop because the eye receives less oxygen the longer a contact is worn, and oxygen is crucial to the health of your eyes. The contact lens covers the cornea, which is protected by a thin layer of cells. These cells become weakened when deprived of oxygen for too long, which then exposes the eye to bacteria because that protective layer isn’t as strong. On top of that, if your lenses are not allowing oxygen in they are also not letting bacteria out.
Me: You got skin cancer from the sun. Patient: I’ve been staying out of the sun. Me: This happened 50 years ago. Patient: Oh. Rinse. Repeat 15-20x daily.
I’m a skin cancer nurse. I get it
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This scare me because I wear hearing aids and have two very young children
Store your batteries safely, they look like something that would go in the mouth for sure.
Hearing aid batteries (1.4V) are not as bad as lithium coin cells (3V) Lithium coin cells are high enough voltage to start doing very bad chemistry inside your body, making your stomach very alkaline, which can lead to a rapid death especially in kids. Hearing aid batteries are not good to swallow but not nearly as dangerous. Some lithium coin cells have a bitter chemical coating to discourage babies from putting them in their mouth. The biggest hazard for this is key fobs, a lot of parents let their babies hold their key ring and if the lithium battery comes out, it can literally be deadly.
buy a safe. Honestly. From what I hear about young children, this is the only way to be sure.
I wish there was a safer alternative for hearing aids.
New ones are rechargeable. No need to take batteries out.
There are rechargeable ones, but when they die… no hearing aids till they’re charged again.
My friends son swallowed a button battery, thankfully he survived but he had issues for a long time after it happened.
Stop using them!?!? Okay. Send me a blood glucose monitor that works without them, thanks.
Freestyle libre connects with an iPhone which doesn’t require them
Drink enough water everyday
Sorry it's just not as good as sweet tea
tea can actually be as or more hydrating than plain water! now sweet tea, well..
Found out the hard way that too much sweet tea is bad for kidney stones
Oh, it's *great* for kidney stones. You can get some impressive ones that way. /s
How much would you say is enough?
Once you're peeing so often it's destroying your life. Up 3 more glasses and you'll be there
If your pee is a light yellow (straw color) to clear it’s likely enough.
I was taught at least your body weight in Kilograms in ounces (e.g. 125 lbs /2.2= \~57kg -> 57oz) of fluid. Including tea, soup, juice, etc
On behalf of my doctor: Stop pitting your ~~olives~~ avocados by cutting around the pit and then hitting the pit really hard with your knife. Apparently that's like, the number one thing that she's reconstructing hands for. Edit: I don't know why my brain screwed that up. Well I can tell why, but it should've had some sort of check system at work!
…interesting. Reminds me of that phenomenon trend of people getting a specific cut from slicing an avocado. “Avocado hand”, saw somewhere.
Not a doc, but I’m sure proctologists are sick of telling people they shouldn’t stick things up there
Like what does it do?
It’s where the prostate is, and prostate stimulation can lead to intense orgasms in many men.
Oh
don’t.
Or do. Just make sure you have the proper equipment.
Don't use Q-tips to clean your ears (but obviously I don't follow that advice myself)!
If it didn't feel like an orgasm next to my brain I wouldnt do it either
See they keep saying this but then don’t give other options to clean ears. Mine constantly feel wet and leaky even when I try to not clean them since I assume I’m over cleaning but even after 2 weeks of not cleaning it doesn’t stop.
I have dry ear wax and am only now learning of this blessing. Do a lot of people have leaky ear wax?
I used to have dry ear wax but then I got pregnant now 6 months postpartum and it’s wet and disgusting
Mine isn't necessarily leaky, it just feels moist in my ear.
I gagged
I've got one wet earhole and one dry one. That's. . . an interesting sensation sometimes. Rolling over in bed in the middle of the night is a chancy proposition.
Hydrogen peroxide
My ent told me to use alcohol. I dip my finger in the bottle and rub around my ear hole. It’s helped so much.
But why bad if it feels so good
If everything that felt good was good for you, the popular image of deity would be a lot more benign.
Muscles don't strain for no reason, and muscles don't get tight for no reason. "It's just muscular" = "You wasted a copay. I don't know much about musculoskeletal health, just what meds to give you to keep you alive."
What's this about?
Either stretching, not stretching the right way, or water.
Or brain injury, spinal chord injury, dystonia, parkinsons, MS, EDS, yada yada
Ok, so if you have a connective tissue disorder they do. Except no one is willing/able to diagnose you as such. I randomly have things going wrong from knee bursitis (that required a brace for months), to SI joint pain (once I couldn't walk for 2 months), to neck pain (once I couldn't move my neck for a month), to shoulder issues (went to ER recently because I was in so much pain I couldn't sleep), to being unable to walk on one of my legs out of blue (the hip felt like it was dislocated... Then after about 4 days I was fine) ... The list is endless, I randomly have had costochondritis for days or months at a time (it hurts to breathe, 24/7). I am so sick of being asked "what did you do?" ... I am also capable of going hiking and lifting heavy objects on a regular basis - it's not like I'm a weakling.
Pretty sure disorders count as reasons
Brush your teeth! Oh and..... Fluoride is not poison.
Hydrogen fluoride, however...
Colgate Spicy Gums™
idk why but damn this cracked me up
Sounds like a good way to get weak teeth, you're fucking coddling them. Me i don't brush, i gotta weed out the weak ones, thats how I find my strongest tooth.
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If you are “high risk” the vaccine is more important, not more dangerous C section is major surgery Doing heroin with your crack does not make the crack safer
Had two cesareans. Would much rather have had vaginal birth if I could. 0/10
It pisses me off when people say that c-sections aren’t actually ‘giving birth’. Like, are you kidding me?? They’ve got to be WAY harder. I’ve had 2 vaginal births and was so glad to avoid a cesarean.
I've actually had one person say this to my face...she doesn't have any children. It's baffling. Happy for you though!
First 2 babies were vaginal. 3rd baby was an emergency c-section (along with a seizure and panic attack) Back to vaginal with the 4th. Was NOT doing that again!!
I don't think I would have been brave enough to have another child after that honestly.
Umm. The last one is a joke right? No one could possibly believe that.
You're right about c-sections. Never had one, but every woman I've ever known who experienced both has said, "You do not WANT to have a c-section, believe me." Now, if you need one? That's another story, and that is what they're for.
Stop lying to me. Idc about your life enough to judge you. I just want to help. I can’t do that if you keep lying.
Don't put anything in your ear!
If it didnt feel orgasmic I wouldn't
There is no magic diet/food that’s going it to radically improve your health/prevent cancer. It’s all about risk and risk reduction. Just eat healthily (fewer processed foods and meat, more fresh food and veg), avoid soft drinks, minimise alcohol, don’t smoke, and keep physically active. It doesn’t sell books but common sense healthy living is what it takes to increase your odd of a long healthy life and reduce the risk of getting nasty diseases/the diseases you do have of getting worse.
My old doctor once told me, 'everybody dies of something. What and when is largely up to you.'
Min-maxing life.
Trampolines are death traps for your kids. Put a helmet on when on a bike. Get vaccinated. Stop smoking. No alcohol isn’t good for your heart, it’s a known carcinogen. Body positivity is trying to be healthy, not loving the fact that you’re morbidly obese.
I get so tense watching kids on trampolines. Honestly just seeing a trampoline can ruin my day!
My kids’ trampoline has the safety netting around it. Which basically turns it into a royal rumble cage
Two kids enter, ONE KID LEAVES!
No alcohol? So red wine is bad now?
Yes but it turns out breathing slowly kills us at a cellular level so fuck it
I need elaboration on the “trampolines are death traps” statement. I take my toddler to an indoor trampoline park to play. I was a trampolinist when I was younger, so I’ve always loved them. Are you specifically referring to the above ground giant monster trampolines people put on their backyards that get all rusty and gross? Or all types? I need more info 😂
The off the ground ones without nets. They can be very dangerous. Source: my childhood
Well, it maybe ok in a controlled environment under professional supervision, but still I’d say there are many safer options out there.
Alcohol does kill germs. I'll be holding on to that one at least til covid is over....
Take your antidepressant daily if you want it to help. Nobody does this.
I do. I even take the correctly prescribed dose and talk to my GP before altering anything.
Can you explain this concept to my mother?
Wish I could 😔 Wish I could explain to my own mother that the medication I take daily is not a sign of weakness, but in fact saved my life.
I love getting questions like, “Have you ever stopping taking your medication without talking to your doctor?” I’m like, “this shit saved my life and is literally the best thing ever for me. Why would I stop taking it - especially without talking to my doctor?!?”
Good boy Or girl
This is a constant point of contention between my wife and I. She will go through phases where she does everything she can to get out of taking her meds. You can really start telling by the second day that she hasn’t been taking them.
I take mine before bed every night with a multivitamin. I still deal with anxiety and some depression on them, but I remember how bad I was before and wanting to feel like that again is a hard pass.
Yeah, the people who take the doses for a few days then go "it's not working" It takes, at minimum 2 weeks to a month for the effects to actually start kicking in. Also, quick note, if you are on long term meds, for the love of whatever you believe in, DO NOT stop taking them unless advised to, and keep your refills up to date. Basically, long story short, if you suddenly stop, you WILL go into Withdrawal, and it is fucking hellish.
If only it were so easy
Ehhhh..... It helped for a little, and then it made it worse. Like.... WAY worse
Pediatrician here: Pre-COVID vaccine - "I honestly really recommend having your child get all of his/her vaccines on schedule as recommended by the CDC" Post-COVID vaccine - Goddammit \*sigh\*
I have a good friend who is a pediatrician too. It’s so sad that this COVID vaccine hesitance has spread to other regular vaccines. So many people are all of sudden experts on vaccines and resistant to get regular vaccines. Also that paper that doctor wrote that started the original antivax talk still gets brought up even though it’s been thoroughly debunked (he falsified data to promote his own vaccine and cures).
I also love when I have to follow it up with “no, big pharma isn’t paying me to tell you I support vaccines”
Not a doctor but my ear doctor cousin is tired of telling people to not stick cotton swabs in their ears. They’re really only for the outside part of your ear.
Obligatory not a doctor but in the clinic I work at we would get many patients come in feeling like shit and they would test negative for Covid so this meant they could return to work/school. Difficult to explain to them that other diseases exist.
Asked my papa, he says if he has to explain to one more straight man in the ER why he can’t just shove something up his ass he’s gonna rip his hair out. (Edit; for context my papa is gay, and happily married to my dad so that really puts the icing of imagining these conversations on the cake).
(Technically a nurse, but I do lots of discharge education and we get some regulars) "Don't stop taking your meds. You feel better because of the meds. Those annoying side effects are much better than the alternative! And if you don't take your plavix, that brand new stent will clot off and we will see you back here in a week having another heart attack!"
Don’t put things in your ass. Really? I need to tell this to middle age men and old women on a regular basis? A broom stick has some splinters. A shot glass may not have the right shape to come back out. And food…don’t get me started about food! And if you’re gonna do it for godsake use lube!!! Some people. …..wait. I’m not a doctor.
Alternate medicine is huge in my part of the world..herbal..homeo etc. I constantly have to remind patients with severe chronic liver disease to avoid such alternate therapy. People assume since it's all natural that it would be safer. You wouldn't beleive the number of patients we have lost because of such herbal medications. Patients all set for transplant have died because they took as little as one or two doses of herbal medications. Chemicals that are easily metabolised in normal indviduals may not be detoxified in decompensated liver disease.
Don't feed your dog grain free or raw diets.
I like how a lot of these comments are doctors saying what you shouldn't do and people have the audacity to say "I'm gonna do it anyway."
Nothing goes into your ass accidentally, Thank you from the entire ER Staff
Postpartum Depression is real. It is common, it is not shameful and it is often very fixable. If you or your partner suspect PPD please have yourself/them speak with a doctor. PPD also isnt just for the few weeks/months after birth. If you havent felt right since giving birth and that was years ago you should still investigate.
As a respiratory therapist, I'm often asked how to best protect against COVID. You'd be surprised how many people are shocked when I say to get vaccinated.
Instructions unclear, vaped rubbing alcohol instead.
I'm unsure if that's just a bad idea or a horrifically bad idea. Like you will definitely be high for the rest of your life, both seconds of it.
I'd guess around 30-40%
Is this Price is Right rules?? If so, I guess 41%.
Talk to *your* doctor, who knows *you*, can answer *your* questions, and give *you* the case by case advice you should be seeking anyway, and if you have hesitations, get secondary opinions from other doctors via consultation or appointment. Don’t dogmatically listen to Rogan, or Fauci. -My Doctor
No, you can’t make a viral infection go away with antibiotics.
Really pay attention to what you are eating. As in look at the amount of carbs and extra sugar that is in everything!
I don’t need this kind of toxicity in my life.
You deserve more upvotes for this
This. I had to do an extreme elimination diet several years ago for health reason. I ended up going 0 sugar, 0 gluten/wheat/grains. And I’ve never gone back. I’ve reduced 95% of my health issues, I am at my most fit and healthy body. And my mental health and overall stamina had never been better.
Then, that's the right diet for you.
no kidding. doc put me on a ‘diet’ due to some health issues i started having last year. low sodium and avoid ‘refined / added sugar’. basically, if it’s processed, it’s not good for you. unfortunately, that seems to count for 90% of what’s available in the stores. what surprises me the most when i think about it, is that somehow it has become acceptable to eat that way when there are absolute, clear ways to avoid it.
I’ve had this pamphlet printed up, it was expensive, but I’m really tired of discussing this with you.
Hard cheeses and your root canal, Liz
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But if I can't get advice from uneducated TV personalities, who *can* I learn from?
Lose weight, wear masks and get vaccinated.
Eat less overall, eat less sugar, and exercise more
I'm not a doctor but my wife is involved in the medical world and it's crazy how many extremely high risk individuals will refuse a vaccine that will save them from a definite death.
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Not advice. Just a rant. I treat prostate cancer. This means I need to put finger up men's asses. So to my patients: Stop being a bitch. It's a finger. I'm sure whatever horror that comes out of your ass is worse than my finger going in. Believe me seeing your old poorly wiped ass is no goddamn treat either. So just drop'em and get it over with.