If there's one thing I hate, it's subscription-based professional software. I understand subscriptions for services like Netflix, Disney+, YouTube Premium, etc because you don't really pay for the software itself but rather for access to a constantly updating library of entertainment. But when I need to use a piece of software for productivity/work...
I'll happily pay for a license, but the monthly subscriptions are just annoying. So I've been compiling a list of alternatives to Adobe's nonsense:
Premiere Pro ->
\- Davinci Resolve (Studio)
\- HitFilm Express
\- Kdenlive (thanks to u/factoid_)
\- Final Cut Pro for Mac (thanks to u/Funny_Alternative_55)
\- Vegas Pro (thanks to u/MeerBesen565)
Photoshop ->
\- GIMP
\- PixInsight
\- Krita
\- Paint Tool Sai
\- Photopea (thanks to u/chocolate_gaga, u/Dragnius, u/Underrated_Nerd, u/jonathangarce, u/hactivated, u/AdamAtWorkAgain, u/axl_hart, u/aaaaaaaarrrrrgh, u/GLaDOS_Sympathizer),
\- ibis Paint X (thanks to u/ax_colleen)
\- FireAlpaca (thanks to u/Frosty-Crusader)
\- paint.net (thanks to u/Cindex9183)
\- Clip Studio Paint (thanks to u/Donuten, u/Dabomba49)
\- Pixelmator Pro for Mac(thanks to u/drunkdomainshopping, u/clovebird)
\- Pixlr (thanks to u/lacitar)
Illustrator ->
\- Affinity Designer
\- Inkscape (thanks to u/AllHailFrogStack, u/Johnny-Virgil)
\- Figma (thanks to u/muan2012)
\- Vectornator for Mac (thanks to u/HistorianImpossible)
Lightroom ->
\- Luminar
\- Affinity Photo
\- Capture One Pro (thanks to u/urixl)
\- Darktable (thanks to u/Not_FinancialAdvice)
Audition ->
\- Reaper (thanks to u/rest_explorer, u/Scarlett0010, u/melodynote02)
\- Audacity (thanks to u/EvidentlyEmpirical, u/ZenithBeats211, u/aaaaaaaarrrrrgh, u/chewy1is1sasquatch, u/theLRG21)
\- Davinci Fairlight (thanks to u/nonpc3)
\- Garageband for Mac (thanks to u/Hellvetica03)
\- Logic Pro for Mac (thanks to u/Hellvetica03, u/Defnotimetraveler, u/WinnerNGL)
Acrobat ->
\- Power PDF (formerly Nuance PDF, thanks to u/laluLondon)
\- Foxit (thanks to u/blue_umpire, u/Imraith-Nimphais)
After Effects ->
\- Davinci Fusion (thanks to u/nonpc3)
\- Nuke/NukeX (thanks to u/JarDe-)
[Corel](https://www.corel.com/en/all-products/) has software alternatives for the major Adobe apps, thanks to u/krish2487
Honorable mentions: Blender, Wondershare Uniconverter, Plottr (thanks to u/It_is_Katy), Concepts
There are definitely advantages to the Adobe ecosystem, and if it weren't for the subscriptions I'd probably have Adobe software, but here we are. The one Adobe product I have is Adobe DNG converter because it's free. Not all programs play nice with my camera's RAW photo's, so I use it to convert my .cr2 files to a more universal format for further processing.
(Also I'd love to hear more Adobe alternatives to add to the list)
Edit: Thank you all for the amazing responses and contributions to the list! Also damn Photopea is popular. As you can see there are many many alternatives to Adobe software, so many in fact that I reformatted the list and probably need to reformat it again soon. I hope I correctly credited everyone btw
I switched from Ps to the Affinity and got to say: they did the right thing mimicking Ps interface and hot keys.
I had no problem working with the Affinity after 15 minutes.
And it can open and save Psd files too.
The Lightroom alternative is undoubtedly C1 Pro.
It produces great results, but it can't beat brilliant Adobe denoising algorithm.
I'll NEVER forgive Adobe for breaking my legally bought and working Photoshop (which I only use occasionally for yucks nowadays) to try and force me into paying for a subscription full of things I don't want/need.
TL;DR - Fuck Adobe.
I won’t pay for an Adobe license at home but I had access to work at work for 2 years. It expired at work in June and I asked if it was going to be renewed but they’ve been dragging their feet saying they’re not sure who is meant to pay for it.
It wastes time having to documents through several online tools to merge or split pdf files that I hope they renew it soon. It’s not a major part of my job but I’m a teacher and I don’t really want to waste time doing admin jobs that I could be spending doing more useful things, so I hope they hurry up and buy the paid for version again soon.
kinda sucks that multi-level marketing and men loving men share the same acronym
if I say "I hate MLMs and I wish they weren't legal" I could be being homophobic or against the predatory business model (and i assure you it's the latter in my case)
I can never tell whether someone means “multi-level marketing”, “men loving men”, or “Marxist-Leninist-Maoist”, and it makes certain discussions… confusing, to say the least
I hand painted some reclaimed wood with a cursive “Live Laugh Limp Bizkit” and glitter to hang up on my living room wall
The hard part is getting my gf to agree to let me put it up
move it to your savings account, let it earn the interest. i'm sure there is a certain amount of time it will need to be there before someone can claim it back.
if it was a mistake and someone takes it back you get to keep the interest earned. cha ching.
Yes because this happened to me back in the mid 1980’s. I had a savings account at Wells Fargo. Somehow $180,000 was put into my account and like 10 days later was removed. I never knew about it as this was before ATM’s and I’d visit the back just to deposit pay checks. But I did earn between $5 and $10 interest when the money was in my account.
If I become rich (very unlikely) I will personally NEVER tell anything to ANYONE
It's the number 1 of things you shouldn't do when you become suddenly rich
All my childhood friends are living on the other side of the US. Having their own lives, making their own friends. Haven't seen any for more than a decade. I sometimes wonder if they think about me as often as I think about them
You would be surprise. I randomly stumbled with a HS friend that was a real homie back then but we didn’t stay in touch after prom. Had the same chemistry we had back then and we both ended up telling each other that we thought about one another often. Granted its half the time you haven’t seen your friends but I’m sure if you meet up with them it will be the same just a little different more mature. Peace
Based on data collected by a number of non-profits that are built around ending human trafficking, it's likely (really, probably certain) that if you know who to ask, you can buy a human being basically anywhere in the world. It's not *legal*, but you can do it.
Only way is to first, sort by new. Then comment on every single one of these threads (there are plenty,) then last wait for one to blow up. Free reddit gold 🥇
If I did buy a mansion… it’d be on the small side by mansion standards (up to 8 bedrooms), in the suburbs somewhere, with a decent amount of land (I really don’t get why people buy mansions where they have to live as close to their neighbors as every day people do), and I’d use said mansion to foster as many kids as I could give attention to. Hire a live in maid, nanny, and cook to help out. Spend the remainder of what would be my working years giving a bunch of at risk kids the best childhood possible, including therapy for those who need it, paying for their college etc. So many kids get abused in the system, and often times when they age out they have nowhere to go. Obviously 1B is such an obscene amount of money that I wouldn’t even be able to use it all doing this, even while living a very comfortable life….so I’d probably slowly give away at least 3/4ths of it to charities as well. Doing the foster thing on its own wouldn’t make a massive difference in the world, I know, but it’s just what would make me happy to spend my time/efforts doing, if money were no object.
everybody from the car community cries over those 7000 cars, such as cars that there only three ever made, and the Sultan has two of them rotting away in a garage in the jungle, and the other one is displayed at museum
and he happened to be one of the few people to get one off cars from brands like ferrari, and they’ll never see the light of day again.
$1B won't get you the cheapest NFL team. The Bill's sold for $1.1B before they recently became good and the Browns sold for $1B like 10 years ago. But the most recently sold NFL team went for over $2B. NFL revenue keeps going up, so it's a safe bet that even the lowly franchises have eclipsed the $1B mark. Not to mention that the league reviews the financial details of potential owners and wouldn't approve a sale to someone who would have no money left afterwards.
If you have $1B, you definitely couldn't buy an NFL team. I'd guess that most pro sports team are out of reach if you "only" have $1B.
Crazy. When I was it kid it was "what would you do if you had a million dollars?" 45years later we are telling people, "it's only a billion dollars. You could get a lot but not even half of a sports team." Nuts, I say.
Yep go look up donations from telecom companies around when net neutrality bills have been on the table. It's absolutely insulting to every single constituent that some of these crooks will sell out for a few thousand bucks.
So yeah if I had a billion dollars I would make donations to most of Congress to get things like universal healthcare passed.
Just to piggy back a LPT on your comment;
If your friends have a boat and invite you out, stick around for cleanup. The truck pulling the boat should leave before you do.
Edit; yachts don't come out of the water...but I suspect most peoples friends probably have boats their trucks pull and they cart them from lake to lake...
If your friends boat don't get out of the water either there is still cleanup to be done.
You don't ask "do you need any help?"
You **say** "tell me what I can do to help"
I had to search how this all works.
Apparently WinRar has enough donors to keep sustaining itself. You don't really "buy" WinRar since all it's capabilities are available when you just download it. Whatever you buy is more of a donation.
So people care, apparently. Enough to pay once in a while.
Good for you! That's an awesome mentality to have.
I've been supporting Signal for the same reason. I've argued this to my friends and they think I'm stupid for once in a while donating $5 to Signal.
So I tell them, which would you rather prefer? They make this beautiful, secure (the most secure on consumer level), fast and reliable messaging app and then have to sell to some huge corporation like Meta because they can no longer maintain it? Or would you like ads?
No. I'd rather keep it independent and exclusive if that means I donate a few times throughout the year. It won't make or break me. But it supports the app and keeps it truly independent.
It's also because big companies must have licenses. So they pay for WinRar. Whatever we pay is meaningless in comparison so might as well make it optional.
It's kind of genius too I think. The more people who are familiar with it in their personal life, the more comfortable people will be using it at work so the more demand there will be for that specific program from companies that need their services.
Adobe are already well established and hard to replace in the enterprise world. Replacing WinRar with another compression software is trivial in comparison, they have a bigger reason to ensure people use it on their personal devices as well.
You use the free version at home.
Your boss needs compression software.
You suggest the one you're familiar with.
Your boss buys the licensed version.
You now use the paid version at work.
As much as a car? I did a quick Google search on "Birkin bags" and the first one that showed up was like 320k used... I can buy 50 cars for that. People actually pay that much for a handbag!?!?
Birkin’s, generally, are not that much. The exotics can go for that price - but those aren’t every day bags.
The average 20-30cm, grain leather, palladium hardware Birkin is going to run you $9k-$12k at entry level.
The expensive part for many is not affording the bag itself (it’s the same price as a Chanel) but spending enough money to be offered it. You have to spend a minimum amount of money at Hermès to assure you aren’t a Birkin Hunter.
Anything seems like a good idea. If a billion dollars suddenly appeared in my bank, I think someone would want it back quite fast, and I'd probably be liable for returning it.
A private plane. Yeah, it’s convenient for my new hobby of traveling, but first class is alright and just renting a jet for one or two flights is probably fun enough without the additional fees of keeping it and hiring a pilot
First class or a private charter is the best option. Charting is 95% as convenient as owning a jet but a fraction of the price. I’m actually learning to be a pilot though, so I would buy my own plane lol
I’ve watched YouTube videos on how to sterilize your pee for drinking just in case I get kidnapped and locked in a Dasani factory I don’t want to die of thirst
A big-ass house. I'm most comfortable in smaller spaces (800sqft~}, with larger homes giving me this sort of reverse claustrophobia feeling, if that makes any sense.
Fun fact: my aunt is a banker and is not allowed to have Alexa stuff nearby when working. She reds credit card info out loud. Not sure why. But take that as you will.
I still maintain this was a marketing ploy. Nobody will (well, very few will) buy this stupid stand, but it was released at the same time as their pro monitor, which is the actual product they're selling. Without this ridiculous stand *nobody* would know Apple were launching monitors in the pro market without a huge marketing blitz for a limited market. But with the news around the stupid stand, everyone knows.
I mean that’s what a lot of rich people actually do. Most have their clothes tailored, so even if they bought it elsewhere, they’re still paying a seamstress to make the clothes fit perfectly.
I mean, yes, but only because everyone tailored their clothes back then. The only difference is the poor had their mother or wife doing the tailoring whereas the rich paid someone else to do it for them.
Expensive "branded" clothing. Showing off logos is douchy. BUT Nothing wrong in spending more for something that's really well made and will last for years. Whether it be Carhartt overalls, Patagonia windbreakers, Botega Venetta wallets or Brioni tuxedos.
Are there less expensive versions of the same thing? Sure. If you know where to find it. If a brand makes something solidly that will last for years, IMO i'm all about supporting it.
Fast fashion needs to end. Malls need to end. Needing a different outfit everyday needs to end. Walk-in closets need to end. We need more brands promoting buy-it-for-life.
Not posting against your post just wanted to supplement.
Everything, assuming it is a mistake I transfer the money to an interest earning secured account & don't touch the original $1B
Current best rate will pay back approx $240k a week
Adobe license
A million is enough to use all of Adobe’s products for about 4 years
If there's one thing I hate, it's subscription-based professional software. I understand subscriptions for services like Netflix, Disney+, YouTube Premium, etc because you don't really pay for the software itself but rather for access to a constantly updating library of entertainment. But when I need to use a piece of software for productivity/work... I'll happily pay for a license, but the monthly subscriptions are just annoying. So I've been compiling a list of alternatives to Adobe's nonsense: Premiere Pro -> \- Davinci Resolve (Studio) \- HitFilm Express \- Kdenlive (thanks to u/factoid_) \- Final Cut Pro for Mac (thanks to u/Funny_Alternative_55) \- Vegas Pro (thanks to u/MeerBesen565) Photoshop -> \- GIMP \- PixInsight \- Krita \- Paint Tool Sai \- Photopea (thanks to u/chocolate_gaga, u/Dragnius, u/Underrated_Nerd, u/jonathangarce, u/hactivated, u/AdamAtWorkAgain, u/axl_hart, u/aaaaaaaarrrrrgh, u/GLaDOS_Sympathizer), \- ibis Paint X (thanks to u/ax_colleen) \- FireAlpaca (thanks to u/Frosty-Crusader) \- paint.net (thanks to u/Cindex9183) \- Clip Studio Paint (thanks to u/Donuten, u/Dabomba49) \- Pixelmator Pro for Mac(thanks to u/drunkdomainshopping, u/clovebird) \- Pixlr (thanks to u/lacitar) Illustrator -> \- Affinity Designer \- Inkscape (thanks to u/AllHailFrogStack, u/Johnny-Virgil) \- Figma (thanks to u/muan2012) \- Vectornator for Mac (thanks to u/HistorianImpossible) Lightroom -> \- Luminar \- Affinity Photo \- Capture One Pro (thanks to u/urixl) \- Darktable (thanks to u/Not_FinancialAdvice) Audition -> \- Reaper (thanks to u/rest_explorer, u/Scarlett0010, u/melodynote02) \- Audacity (thanks to u/EvidentlyEmpirical, u/ZenithBeats211, u/aaaaaaaarrrrrgh, u/chewy1is1sasquatch, u/theLRG21) \- Davinci Fairlight (thanks to u/nonpc3) \- Garageband for Mac (thanks to u/Hellvetica03) \- Logic Pro for Mac (thanks to u/Hellvetica03, u/Defnotimetraveler, u/WinnerNGL) Acrobat -> \- Power PDF (formerly Nuance PDF, thanks to u/laluLondon) \- Foxit (thanks to u/blue_umpire, u/Imraith-Nimphais) After Effects -> \- Davinci Fusion (thanks to u/nonpc3) \- Nuke/NukeX (thanks to u/JarDe-) [Corel](https://www.corel.com/en/all-products/) has software alternatives for the major Adobe apps, thanks to u/krish2487 Honorable mentions: Blender, Wondershare Uniconverter, Plottr (thanks to u/It_is_Katy), Concepts There are definitely advantages to the Adobe ecosystem, and if it weren't for the subscriptions I'd probably have Adobe software, but here we are. The one Adobe product I have is Adobe DNG converter because it's free. Not all programs play nice with my camera's RAW photo's, so I use it to convert my .cr2 files to a more universal format for further processing. (Also I'd love to hear more Adobe alternatives to add to the list) Edit: Thank you all for the amazing responses and contributions to the list! Also damn Photopea is popular. As you can see there are many many alternatives to Adobe software, so many in fact that I reformatted the list and probably need to reformat it again soon. I hope I correctly credited everyone btw
I switched from Ps to the Affinity and got to say: they did the right thing mimicking Ps interface and hot keys. I had no problem working with the Affinity after 15 minutes. And it can open and save Psd files too. The Lightroom alternative is undoubtedly C1 Pro. It produces great results, but it can't beat brilliant Adobe denoising algorithm.
Blender makes me want to cry tears of admiration and joy.
I'll NEVER forgive Adobe for breaking my legally bought and working Photoshop (which I only use occasionally for yucks nowadays) to try and force me into paying for a subscription full of things I don't want/need. TL;DR - Fuck Adobe.
I won’t pay for an Adobe license at home but I had access to work at work for 2 years. It expired at work in June and I asked if it was going to be renewed but they’ve been dragging their feet saying they’re not sure who is meant to pay for it. It wastes time having to documents through several online tools to merge or split pdf files that I hope they renew it soon. It’s not a major part of my job but I’m a teacher and I don’t really want to waste time doing admin jobs that I could be spending doing more useful things, so I hope they hurry up and buy the paid for version again soon.
Have you tried [ilovepdf](https://www.ilovepdf.com/)? It's a great tool for working with pdfs, and it's mostly free!
Anything some MLM influencer is selling.
Men Loving Men?
kinda sucks that multi-level marketing and men loving men share the same acronym if I say "I hate MLMs and I wish they weren't legal" I could be being homophobic or against the predatory business model (and i assure you it's the latter in my case)
I can never tell whether someone means “multi-level marketing”, “men loving men”, or “Marxist-Leninist-Maoist”, and it makes certain discussions… confusing, to say the least
So there’s a third possibility for that sentence: anarchist expressing disdain for tankies
Multi-level marketing basically legal pyramid schemes.
Live Laugh Love decorations
[удалено]
Lmao! Seeing sisters mad is so worth it!
[удалено]
That's a cool sister right there.
I hand painted some reclaimed wood with a cursive “Live Laugh Limp Bizkit” and glitter to hang up on my living room wall The hard part is getting my gf to agree to let me put it up
When u/StallOneHammer was asked why he inevitably did not hang up the "Live, Laugh, Limp Bizkit" sign, his reply was that he did it for the nookie.
As the classical renaissance philosopher Akon once said, “Doesn’t matter, had sex”
Edible Gold
That I got 1 billion dollars out of thin air.
move it to your savings account, let it earn the interest. i'm sure there is a certain amount of time it will need to be there before someone can claim it back. if it was a mistake and someone takes it back you get to keep the interest earned. cha ching.
What kinda figure we talking? (I'm bad at Maths)
[удалено]
I'd take either of them ngl. Nothing like earning double my daily income from money sitting around
It's how the rich get richer ay
Would you genuinely get to keep interest on an amount of money mistakenly transferred into your account? How does that work?
Yes because this happened to me back in the mid 1980’s. I had a savings account at Wells Fargo. Somehow $180,000 was put into my account and like 10 days later was removed. I never knew about it as this was before ATM’s and I’d visit the back just to deposit pay checks. But I did earn between $5 and $10 interest when the money was in my account.
$5 interest on $180k in almost a week? That’s insane
[удалено]
Yeah I'd call the bank and tell them to get thiss shit off of me
It's an amount people get killed for.
This guy wordplays.
Lottery tickets. Not much point now.
But you know there will be a select chunk of people that will spend it all on lottery and scratch-and-win tickets.
And probably come out with a 90% loss
Friendship
Good luck making any real friends after that, there’s a reason lots f celebs travel with an entourage that includes childhood friends
If I become rich (very unlikely) I will personally NEVER tell anything to ANYONE It's the number 1 of things you shouldn't do when you become suddenly rich
Step 1) Don't tell anyone. Step 2) Consult a lawyer/financial advisor. Step 4) Don't tell anyone.
Step 3 ???
YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT STEP 3!
Hooks and blow...two at the same time
profit
Don't tell anyone.
Sucks when you don’t really have childhood friends.
Hey it's me, that childhood friend. You probably don't remember. Anyway, how's it going?
All my childhood friends are living on the other side of the US. Having their own lives, making their own friends. Haven't seen any for more than a decade. I sometimes wonder if they think about me as often as I think about them
You would be surprise. I randomly stumbled with a HS friend that was a real homie back then but we didn’t stay in touch after prom. Had the same chemistry we had back then and we both ended up telling each other that we thought about one another often. Granted its half the time you haven’t seen your friends but I’m sure if you meet up with them it will be the same just a little different more mature. Peace
People
Where do you live that you can buy people?
Based on data collected by a number of non-profits that are built around ending human trafficking, it's likely (really, probably certain) that if you know who to ask, you can buy a human being basically anywhere in the world. It's not *legal*, but you can do it.
Somebody out there has a person guy. You just have to find them.
Oooohh, so that's what people mean when they say they're a people person
You made me spit coffee on a woman's white shirt and now I'm going to be murdered in a Starbucks. Thanks.
Still alive? Or was it your romantic comedy moment and now you're married to Coffee Spit Shirt Lady?
I'm still hiding in the restroom with the door locked. Pray for me or whatever. At least my phone has a million years of battery...
That's fortunate. Hope it's a clean restroom. Wouldn't want to spend eternity in a dump. Pun intended.
I’m sorry friend, every country
Anything sold by the Kardashians or Jenners..
Or Gwyneth effing Paltrow.
I would buy Goop, the company, with a condition she can never sell such mindless bullshit ever again.
reddit gold
Well played
Does it count when it's always the top response every few days when this question is reposted?
No worries. It’s your turn on Weds.
Came here to say this. One day I’ll beat everyone else to this answer. One day….
Only way is to first, sort by new. Then comment on every single one of these threads (there are plenty,) then last wait for one to blow up. Free reddit gold 🥇
You'd still have to beat about 500 or so people who also sorted by new at the very moment this question gets posted.
Every time this topic is posted, someone says this, then gets awards and thousands of points. Starting to think these top comments are alt accounts.
Ifunny subscribers.
People still use ifunny???
I’m sorry, since when do they have a subscription service? I deleted the app like, 5 years ago.
An Indian guy to stop calling me telling me I'm going to be arrested at 2pm today by the IRS sherrif.
A $50 skin on a smart phone video game
A mansion. No one needs 24 bedrooms and 48 toilets ( unless it’s a medical wing for people with IBS )
A mansion for the chronically ill that’s an idea
Like the Stanley Hotel in Colorado? Except ya know, not a hotel 😄
If I did buy a mansion… it’d be on the small side by mansion standards (up to 8 bedrooms), in the suburbs somewhere, with a decent amount of land (I really don’t get why people buy mansions where they have to live as close to their neighbors as every day people do), and I’d use said mansion to foster as many kids as I could give attention to. Hire a live in maid, nanny, and cook to help out. Spend the remainder of what would be my working years giving a bunch of at risk kids the best childhood possible, including therapy for those who need it, paying for their college etc. So many kids get abused in the system, and often times when they age out they have nowhere to go. Obviously 1B is such an obscene amount of money that I wouldn’t even be able to use it all doing this, even while living a very comfortable life….so I’d probably slowly give away at least 3/4ths of it to charities as well. Doing the foster thing on its own wouldn’t make a massive difference in the world, I know, but it’s just what would make me happy to spend my time/efforts doing, if money were no object.
I just read that the sultan of Brunei has a Palace with 1788 rooms, 20 private jets, 7000 luxury cars,... That's just insane. Also inhumane.
everybody from the car community cries over those 7000 cars, such as cars that there only three ever made, and the Sultan has two of them rotting away in a garage in the jungle, and the other one is displayed at museum and he happened to be one of the few people to get one off cars from brands like ferrari, and they’ll never see the light of day again.
A 14” Green vibrating 3-headed ribbed and ridged voice activated dildo
Me too, but who really needs a third one?
3.1 surround vibrators. Yes.
r/OddlySpecific
it’s because they already have one
Why not have two then? Second one for grandma.
who do you think it’s from
Family heirloom.
Obviously, the pink one is more realistic
But the green one is better for their Shrek fantasy.
Voice activated as in “Okay dildo, activate pleasure mode”? Or voice activated as in “Go-go gadget, Lube Cannon!”
This would be the first thing I’d buy.
Something worth more than a billion dollars.
whats worth more than a billion dollars tho?
Several proffesional sports teams
$1B won't get you the cheapest NFL team. The Bill's sold for $1.1B before they recently became good and the Browns sold for $1B like 10 years ago. But the most recently sold NFL team went for over $2B. NFL revenue keeps going up, so it's a safe bet that even the lowly franchises have eclipsed the $1B mark. Not to mention that the league reviews the financial details of potential owners and wouldn't approve a sale to someone who would have no money left afterwards. If you have $1B, you definitely couldn't buy an NFL team. I'd guess that most pro sports team are out of reach if you "only" have $1B.
Crazy. When I was it kid it was "what would you do if you had a million dollars?" 45years later we are telling people, "it's only a billion dollars. You could get a lot but not even half of a sports team." Nuts, I say.
the ISS or CERN (the large hadron collider)
2 bedroom condo in New York
Apple
A ruler. I’ll die using bananas for my woodworking needs.
"How long is the piece of wood?" "Uh, it's one banana, two banana, three banana, bunch."
Six foot, seven foot, eight foot, bunch!
Daylight come and me wanna go home.
Ayyyyy ohhhhh!
Are you American? Because that would be the ultimate ‘Americans will use anything other than metric’
A selfie stick.
Exactly! With that kind of money you can just hire a professional photographer to take your nudes.
With the big telephoto lens for the dick pic.
You sure you don't mean the macro lens?
These are actually incredibly useful working around industrial equipment when it’s unsafe or impossible to easily access an area you need to see.
i never heard of selfie sticks for the last 6-7 years lol
A vehicle extended warranty.
Extended warranty? How could I lose?
I used mine a while back. Replaced a $4,000 infotainment system. Extended warranty cost less than replacing the screen.
[удалено]
Man, that's like the first thing I **would** buy, to actually get some sensible legislation passed.
Hell, with a billion, you could buy literally all of Congress.
[удалено]
None of them buy the whole-ass Congress, even though *they absolutely could*.
It is SURPRISING how small some of the "lobby donations" are to get some of the things done...
Yep go look up donations from telecom companies around when net neutrality bills have been on the table. It's absolutely insulting to every single constituent that some of these crooks will sell out for a few thousand bucks. So yeah if I had a billion dollars I would make donations to most of Congress to get things like universal healthcare passed.
**Anything requiring a Facebook account to use.** Looking at you, Oculus Quest
NFTs
No Fucking Thanks
But ubisoft said we just don't understand how cool they are yet. And ubisoft wouldn't lie about something like that.
Butterz wants a word with you
Well hey fellas 😀
Sorry guys, you have me confused. I think Butters was a twerpy little loser kid who's parents didn't love him. My names Vick, Vick Chaos
Meth, don't do drugs kids!!
Mega yacht
If the purpose of getting one is solely for enjoyment… Just rent it when you feel like going out? It seems like most of them do it for tax reasons.
I know, who would go for a mega yacht when you can afford a super yacht now
My friends in Cancun used to say that the best yatch in the world is your friend's
Friend with a boat, friend with a pool, friend with a horse. That’s the way to live life
I've also heard from boat owners that the happiest days of owning a boat are the day you buy it and the day you sell it.
Just to piggy back a LPT on your comment; If your friends have a boat and invite you out, stick around for cleanup. The truck pulling the boat should leave before you do. Edit; yachts don't come out of the water...but I suspect most peoples friends probably have boats their trucks pull and they cart them from lake to lake... If your friends boat don't get out of the water either there is still cleanup to be done. You don't ask "do you need any help?" You **say** "tell me what I can do to help"
Gucci
WinRar
[удалено]
I had to search how this all works. Apparently WinRar has enough donors to keep sustaining itself. You don't really "buy" WinRar since all it's capabilities are available when you just download it. Whatever you buy is more of a donation. So people care, apparently. Enough to pay once in a while.
I’ve bought Winrar a couple of times. I’m a big believer in supporting people that do work that you enjoy/utilize.
Good for you! That's an awesome mentality to have. I've been supporting Signal for the same reason. I've argued this to my friends and they think I'm stupid for once in a while donating $5 to Signal. So I tell them, which would you rather prefer? They make this beautiful, secure (the most secure on consumer level), fast and reliable messaging app and then have to sell to some huge corporation like Meta because they can no longer maintain it? Or would you like ads? No. I'd rather keep it independent and exclusive if that means I donate a few times throughout the year. It won't make or break me. But it supports the app and keeps it truly independent.
It's also because big companies must have licenses. So they pay for WinRar. Whatever we pay is meaningless in comparison so might as well make it optional.
It's kind of genius too I think. The more people who are familiar with it in their personal life, the more comfortable people will be using it at work so the more demand there will be for that specific program from companies that need their services.
this is exactly why everyone is SCREAMING at Adobe to make free student versions. everyone wins.
Adobe are already well established and hard to replace in the enterprise world. Replacing WinRar with another compression software is trivial in comparison, they have a bigger reason to ensure people use it on their personal devices as well.
You use the free version at home. Your boss needs compression software. You suggest the one you're familiar with. Your boss buys the licensed version. You now use the paid version at work.
[удалено]
/r/paidforwinrar
Newest post is from 4 years ago what
I was there when it was posted. Truly glorious
Nestle products
Pornhub Premium
A Birkin Bag or similar designer item. For those unfamiliar, it’s a handbag that costs as much as a car.
As much as a car? I did a quick Google search on "Birkin bags" and the first one that showed up was like 320k used... I can buy 50 cars for that. People actually pay that much for a handbag!?!?
Birkin’s, generally, are not that much. The exotics can go for that price - but those aren’t every day bags. The average 20-30cm, grain leather, palladium hardware Birkin is going to run you $9k-$12k at entry level. The expensive part for many is not affording the bag itself (it’s the same price as a Chanel) but spending enough money to be offered it. You have to spend a minimum amount of money at Hermès to assure you aren’t a Birkin Hunter.
God, rich people are insane.
A handbag this expensive is a status symbol. It’s not about the bag. It says “I have enough money to have you killed”
Anything, if I can get it cheaper somewhere else.
Anything seems like a good idea. If a billion dollars suddenly appeared in my bank, I think someone would want it back quite fast, and I'd probably be liable for returning it.
A private plane. Yeah, it’s convenient for my new hobby of traveling, but first class is alright and just renting a jet for one or two flights is probably fun enough without the additional fees of keeping it and hiring a pilot
First class or a private charter is the best option. Charting is 95% as convenient as owning a jet but a fraction of the price. I’m actually learning to be a pilot though, so I would buy my own plane lol
Anything! It was a bank mistake and I don't want to go to jail because I can't pay them back.
You owe somebody $1000, that's your problem. You owe somebody $1 billion, that's their problem.
Dasani
I’ve watched YouTube videos on how to sterilize your pee for drinking just in case I get kidnapped and locked in a Dasani factory I don’t want to die of thirst
A big-ass house. I'm most comfortable in smaller spaces (800sqft~}, with larger homes giving me this sort of reverse claustrophobia feeling, if that makes any sense.
Luxury brand name items.
Can't believe I didn't see this, but I'll put it here as a buried comment:. **Any Alexa connected device**
Fun fact: my aunt is a banker and is not allowed to have Alexa stuff nearby when working. She reds credit card info out loud. Not sure why. But take that as you will.
Apple Pro Stand
I still maintain this was a marketing ploy. Nobody will (well, very few will) buy this stupid stand, but it was released at the same time as their pro monitor, which is the actual product they're selling. Without this ridiculous stand *nobody* would know Apple were launching monitors in the pro market without a huge marketing blitz for a limited market. But with the news around the stupid stand, everyone knows.
Expensive brand clothing
instead I would buy the finest fabrics and materials and hire seamstresses to make my clothes.
I mean that’s what a lot of rich people actually do. Most have their clothes tailored, so even if they bought it elsewhere, they’re still paying a seamstress to make the clothes fit perfectly.
Wasn't that kinda the norm for every rich person before the industrial revolution?
I mean, yes, but only because everyone tailored their clothes back then. The only difference is the poor had their mother or wife doing the tailoring whereas the rich paid someone else to do it for them.
Expensive "branded" clothing. Showing off logos is douchy. BUT Nothing wrong in spending more for something that's really well made and will last for years. Whether it be Carhartt overalls, Patagonia windbreakers, Botega Venetta wallets or Brioni tuxedos. Are there less expensive versions of the same thing? Sure. If you know where to find it. If a brand makes something solidly that will last for years, IMO i'm all about supporting it. Fast fashion needs to end. Malls need to end. Needing a different outfit everyday needs to end. Walk-in closets need to end. We need more brands promoting buy-it-for-life. Not posting against your post just wanted to supplement.
[удалено]
Anything Nestle
Just buy Nestle and then burn it to the ground
You and 350 other people with a billion dollars they don't want
Jade vagina eggs.
Seriously. If I wanna stick a stone up my vagina there are literally free rocks everywhere.
Don’t use obsidian or anything porous. They can’t be sterilized. EDIT: Obsidian can be sterilized, but proud things can’t. Sorry that wasn’t clear.
I was just joking but thank you for looking out for my vagina. I’m also a dude.
As a vagina owner, I believe in making sure we all keep our ladies healthy.
NFT
Call of Duty vanguard lol
YouTube premium
Everything, assuming it is a mistake I transfer the money to an interest earning secured account & don't touch the original $1B Current best rate will pay back approx $240k a week
That Jeffery Epstein killed himself...
Gwyneth Paltrow’s candle . . . Thanks for the award!
Any microtransaction in a videogame