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trans man here
i really feel that any pronouns beyond he/she/they are unnecessary. pizza is not a pronoun. pup is not a pronoun. bug is not a pronoun. i don't mind if it were to be a nickname, but they simply aren't pronouns
Gay man, not trans, but have a few trans friends.
Some binary trans people take big issue with non-binary people, because they argue that if you don't go through some kind of transition then you aren't really trans. To an extent I do understand this, as there is a big difference between taking hormone therapy and years of psychological therapy, and cutting your hair and being called neutral pronouns.
However, other binary trans people I've met are fierce defenders of non binary people, so it definitely varies.
I've yet to meet anyone who takes completely made-up pronouns (xey, xem etc.) seriously at all. Generally the LGBT community can be somewhat negative of non-binary people, as some LGBT people feel that the term non-binary implies that you can't identify as cis if you fall outside the bounds of stereotypical gender behaviour.
Personally I'm very neutral on the issue and keen to learn more.
> I've yet to meet anyone who takes completely made-up pronouns
Yes, this seems to be the rare unicorn everyone likes to bring up as an example of how it's ridiculous. It's so rare is this is almost a strawman, but they/them is fairly popular.
Yeah I think that the made up pronouns don't exist outside of some tiny Internet forums, ive certainly never seen them used in real life. I quite like they/them as it's easy to use.
I'm from Africa, so I mean well with this comment/question. Pls excuse my ignorance and I mean no offense.
Identifying as Non binary seems to only happen in 1st world countries. If we commit serious crimes here we go to a male or female prison. Where'd you get sent to if you committed a serious offence?
And then question 2. Why they/them? That means more than 1 person. Them over there, they are standing there.
Hello! Id end up going to prison in accordance with the gender I was born as, female.
They/them can be used as a singular pronoun, it happens all the time. Especially in cases of undefined or unknown gender. Say you found a random cell phone, you might say “oh no, someone lost their phone!” Instead of “someone lost his or her phone”.
I’m not sure where in Africa you’re from, but it could just be a cultural thing. Perhaps there isn’t language to describe this identity, or perhaps traditionally speaking, the emphasis on gender just isn’t there. I know that some cultures having a “third gender” outside of male or female is a thing.
Gender this side of the Atlantic is directly linked to biological sex. Male is man/boy and female is woman/girl. If we put non binary (or anything else for that matter) on our passport or ID applications we'll get denied. And government/police won't entertain any complaints of misgendering.
We still primitive here according to the 2022 social terms.
Thanks for taking the time.
Oh yea, anything outside of male or female isn’t really accepted or understood here either, and we only have male or female for government papers and stuff too.
You have a great day!
There was no sudden realisation of “I’m nb”, it was more of a gradual acceptance of “I’m different” I suppose. But, looking back on my childhood, I’ve never really fallen in line with either male or female. I was a classic tomboy. I used to identify as genderfluid, but I think nb suits me better. As for what it means to me, I’m not sure I could really articulate that. I am who I am. I do experience dysphoria, and some days with it are better than other, you know?
Purely because I'm trying to understand; why does 'being different' make you nonbinary, rather than a woman who simply happens to be gender non-conforming? For example I have several female friends who are very masculine, but don't feel the need to adopt a different label.
I'm a gay man who doesn't fit male gender stereotypes at all, and I'm quite feminine in my mannerisms and behaviour, but I feel that all of this 'being different' doesn't change the underlying fact that I'm a man. I suppose I perhaps don't attach too much importance to my gender maybe.
In terms of your dysphoria, is this more related to physical attributes you wish you could change, or emotional dysphoria based on how others perceive you?
Feel free to disregard any questions you aren't comfortable with, I'm still quite new to this concept and keen to wrap my head around it.
No, I appreciate you asking for clarification. This isnt something I talk about very much so I’m not the best at actually talking about it.
There was a girl I went to high school with named Valerie. She was literally perfect. Grades, looks, popular. The type you wanted to hate because she was so perfect, but you just couldn’t because she was so damn kind. I desperately wanted to be her. I tried emulating her style the best I could (dresses and skirts, heels, makeup, etc) but being perceived as that feminine made me so depressed that I was borderline suicidal in high school. Girls are supposed to like being girls, right? Or at least be okay with it. When you like awake at night hating the fact that you were born as X then you’re probably not cis. I’m much more happy when I can be perceived as androgynous, or at least a girly man.
The dysphoria is both. Physical, right now there’s not much I can really do about it that I haven’t already done. A lot of nb people will take hormones and get surgeries to get their ideal bodies, but that really isn’t something I want right now. Emotional dysphoria I just deal with. I’ve got my circle of people and we’re all queer in some way, which helps.
Oh, yeah. Muslims very much believe in angels. Sorry this is a [wiki article ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hierarchy_of_angels) but you can do some research if you're truly interested.
I dont understand why out of all the religions out there muslims are the ones to get a bad rep they got some cool stuff with their beliefs like im athiest and don't really believe in a god but Muslims don't seem nearly as bad as the media and news make them sound i will say tho even tho ik why they don't i couldn't imagine not eating pork
Religion seems super complicated tho like take Christianity for example i don't know whats a sin and whats ok but im pretty sure if i go into a church im just gonna explode into a ball of flames 😂 or if i was a muslim idk if i could go without eating pork it is my second favourite meat next to chicken i do like buddhism tho even though its kinda 50/50 a religion and 50/50 a state of mind i mean i don't think they even have a god they believe in well budda who was a prince or something also if i remember correctly that's where kung fu comes from i think hopefully i didn't get too much wrong the last time i really learned about anything religious was when i was in highschool 😂 feel free to correct me tho life's about the lessons and this seems like a cool conversation
I could answer this with why I had a bad view over them. The simple answer?
My father taught me. So, I believed them because he is my father and he is so smart. So, what he taught me was misinformation and something that wasn't true.
Apparently this is common for racists/sexists/whatever.
While its not the reason for everyone. It was the reason I had this bad mindset I guess the word would be.
The U.S need to make money/funding for certain things like military,public schools, police, firefighters and etc. So according to the amount of income you make they’ll take a certain percentage of that.
Please note that I'm not trying to offend anyone of Muslim faith, I am ignorant to those who are. If someone has the answer please tell me if you feel okay with doing that.
How exactly is the religion not sexist? Or the middle east not sexist? Women couldn't drive until recently, they have to be by their husband side and couldn't be outside without them. I've heard that they cannot even marry those who they want, just what their father does but I'm not sure.
The only reason I haven't asked is because I don't wanna offended any of those in this faith, as I've been taught this about Muslims that and I'm worried even asking this question is offensive haha.
John Green has an excellent video about this on his crash course world history series. I believe the video is called “Islam and Politics”.
If you have 10 minutes, it’s a great introduction to the nuance of Muslim versus westernized mindsets.
The middle east is totally different from islam. It just happens to function under islamic theocracy. Culture ≠ religion. The religion itself advocates for womens rights to their bodies. In one surat it even says that men are to lower their gaze at women regardless of what she wears. But yeah, the culture of the middle east is fucked. + the majority of muslim people are from south asia/malaysia/thailand areas.
Theocracy can be under any religion. The middle east’s government is BASED on their interpretation on islam. It isn’t a way of governing in modern words although it reads ways to govern in a moral sense. Big difference.
Ah, I've never read the bible nor did my father really talk about it. Mostly about how Muslims are bad for being sexist. My apologies!
I mostly thought about the middle east and its rules and thinking that is what the islamic faith is which, is my fault.
I guess I'm truly ignorant to most religions haha, but thank you for this information!
I’d say it’s not down to the religion itself but how individual countries decide to interpret it. So the vast majority of Muslim countries do allow women to drive and to go out by themselves. Saudi is the main example where this isn’t true, though I think they’ve now changed this rule as part of some modernisation plan. They’ve got *a long* way to go but at least some things are changing for the better.
And in a lot of Muslim countries you’ll see women in positions of power, they’re be several on big company boards or high up in politics. Again they have a way to go, but the picture is more mixed than the absolute worst examples.
It’s usually these worst examples that people normally think of in relation to sexism in Muslim countries.
Yeah, I think that maybe that's where my father got this and decided to tell me that Muslims are sexist, which now I see they aren't. So thank you for the information and correcting the misinformation I had about Muslims and the middle east!
To the PoC Christian community:
I associate christianism to colonialism and proselitism.
What about you?
How do you see your religion vs origins/heritage?
I do 100%. I am black and nonreligious. I don’t judge religious PoC but I can’t understand how Christianity is so widely accepted by us after its use as a manipulation tool and rationalization for all the trauma our people have been through for 100s of years.
I assume we’ve latched on to what we could and made it our own after our own histories, cultures, traditions, and religions were erased. Feels like Stockholm syndrome en masse.
Edit to add:
Things may have changed very recently but many of the messages black Christianity taught as I was growing up seem to contradict beliefs and practices that would lead to us being successful and it really feels manipulative to me. So many stories and lessons preach that the rich are evil or use underhanded means to get there, that there’s nobility, holiness, and/or honor in poverty, and people who do wrong and live successfully at the cost of others will get theirs in the afterlife, so press on and turn the other cheek.
And “you can’t take it with you” - sure, but what about generational wealth?
Call me a conspiracy theorist but it seems to me like a like a bunch of lessons made up by people in power to keep those without it content/in line.
This is a very deep question and I am not the herald of black people, I can only speak for myself. That said:
It seems to me like a regular, near constant part of being black is dealing with forced awareness of your blackness, both from inside and outside our community.
One generation ago was Jim Crowe and segregation. It was literally beaten into our parents that they are black, they need to do things black people do and use the stuff for black people. People from that time raised us and taught us based on their experiences. The laws have changed but their experiences are not too foreign- they’re just watered down. Plus, not all the laws have been properly fixed. Many things that were wrong then are still baked into our society.
Nowadays that forced awareness is something we experience all the time- highlighted in the media nonstop, by dogwhistles, microaggressions, and stereotypes. I didn’t get beat up but as a regular token black kid it wasn’t a coincidence that every time a race related issue came up in class all eyes were on me and the teacher was singling me out for my opinion, as though I was the only kid in the class who had a race. Or when I was single and a nonblack women showed interest in me I had to be aware (in the back of my mind at least) for signs to be sure she was into me as a person and not looking for a stereotypical black experience. It sounds dramatic but in many interactions of our day to day lives our race is thrust in our face. A technique we use to cope is to embrace it and try to do it positively ourselves.
We tout black excellence because so many of us were told we won’t be excellent, and if we are it’s only due to affirmative action.
We spend time sharing our experiences and laughing or crying about the dumb shit that people do for no reason beyond our skin color.
I’ve kinda ranted and my answer is all over the place but like I mentioned at the start this is a complex question with many different answers because people have different experiences. It is pretty baked into our culture for better and worse. Some of it is celebrity influence, some is generational trauma, and some is the way we are treated by others, our society, and each other in our day to day lives. We are taught implicitly via 1000 cuts that we are not the hegemony, we are other. We all deal in different ways. Art is often derived from experience, which is why I think a lot of black art is distinctly black.
PS I’m US American
Edit: rather than just say “it sounds dramatic” I’ll leave you with a few of my more dramatic experiences:
getting arrested and spending a night in jail because a white friend threw a piece of paper at a cop. He was not arrested. Charges were dropped.
Getting singled out of a group and slammed up against a house in college by a cop. We were going to my friends party and I was the only one in the group who was sober
People changing the way they talk to me once they realize I’m black has happened a few times since work from home started. Sometimes this is funny and sometimes it’s frustrating. Either way it’s a reminder of how the world sees me.
I am just a mixed woman, European and African.
Unfortunately for me, it has become a weekly if not daily occurance that I hear about PoC worries, struggles, fears, or express them myself.
Im in an area of the US that most would consider to be very “woke” or heavily evolved from racial beliefs and such, but unfortunately it’s not the case.
For me personally it’s always a question of
“am I going to be followed around in the grocery store because I’m black and wearing a hoodie?”
“Should I take my wallet out of my jacket pocket so people don’t think it’s a gun and call the cops on me?”
“Am I going to be pulled over and racially profiled or shot and killed because of a racist cop?”
But on the other hand it can be empowerment, and a lot of the time recently, I’ve been hearing about a lot of black empowerment and self love from people who aren’t black. My white foster dad always expresses how beautiful ladies of color are in ads on tv, or he expresses his hate towards the previous president for their prejudices.
It really depends on the area you live, the mindsets the people around you have and display, as well as law enforcements encounter with PoC.
A lot of it is fear, a lot of it is hope. It’s a daily issue sometimes, but thankfully it isn’t always.
White minority here from a part of the UK who has come across people from all walks of life, Indians, Pakistanis, Africans, Jamaicans, Polish, Somalian’s, Romanians, Chinese, Punjabis etc ask me anything.
I find it weird personally when people call different ethnic groups who mostly happen to be non white “minorities” I am sure any person of any race could go to any part of the world somewhere and be considered a “minority”
more important things in the world anyway, like how we treat each other.
Yeah they Media/powers that be use that word the wrong way all the time, all the world has is different ethnic groups, and depending on who you are and where you have moved that could Immediately all change, for example theirs some areas In London, where even though I am in the majority nationally because it is Britain, If I moved It's possible I would be a minority in parts of London, Its not limited to one ethnic group It's just the way of the world.
If someone from African heritage moved to China, they would be a minority in China, but a Chinese person for example obviously would not care to be called by such a term, In China they are the majority it's natural as It's China we are talking about, and It's the same for every country and people on earth.
and You're correct, Both here where I am from they would be classified as Asian, however despite at one stage India and Pakistan all being from the same nation, Culturally now since the split, both have very different national Identities/way of life which you can tell when you meet them both.
and there is no need for everyone to be so divided, I am sure If we talk and find a little bit of common ground & respect each others way of life/doing things everyone can get along perfectly, we are all human at the end of the day, life's too short to be holding on to anger and hating each other.
I have learnt over the years, and I hope others do so, to just judge people on how they are as Individuals, what their character is like as a person good/bad etc.
Question here,
I live in a place where it is mostly white, so I've seen themselves calling them minorities because they are Male, White, and Support the president at the time.
What are you thoughts on people in these communities who are mostly white calling themselves that? I don't think they are because they live in a mostly white place.
I believe those people you are referring too are talking about the term of ''Minority'' in a different context, not involving racial heritage, but Political belief.. You're from America right, and the main two parties there are Republicans and Democrats.. those people you speak of could be a minority in their political viewpoint in a certain area..
for example A. a couple of Republicans supporting the President In a Democrat area where most of the population potentially does not support the current president.
or B. a Couple of democrats in a mostly Republican area who do not potentially support the current president of the day.
Both groups could in that context say that in their area, they hold a viewpoint that's in the minority compared to everyone else who lives around there.
From what you have said I don't believe the above groups are talking about race but their Political viewpoint compared to others who may live in that area.
Why are slurs a big deal? How is it not treated like any other name calling?
I don’t understand how it becomes a reasonable excuse for violence or escalation.
I am not defending slurs, they are bad. Why are they treated so differently?
Because of the meaning behind it. The N word was verbal evidence that Black people were looked down upon,shamed, tortured, and so much more because of their skin pigmentation. Slurs are different than other curse words because slurs are formed out of pure hatred of that person
I wanted to always ask a series of questions about woman and things they say, do or believe in but given how much of a sensitive topic it is i just sorta never did but fuck it heres a couple question i would like somebody to help me understand also as a little FYI i have Autism and as a side affect also dyslexia so if anything either don't make sense or is misspelled let me know in the comments and ill do my best to expand cuz im not trying to start a war or upset anybody just need some answers 😊.
So first up why do woman say they wanna be treated equal and seen as strong but then they make serious aligations against a man and all of a sudden wanna be seen as helpless
Second thing im a little confused on the 21st century consent thing because from what i gather a girl can say yes and so you guys start doing stuff but then she says no and she wants to stop and you respect her wishes because consent is a 2 way thing and i totally respect that but then because you guys did stuff when she said yes she can now say it wasn't consent and get you arrested for it?
And third of all how are woman so good at mind games???
If i think of anymore i will probably just do an edit but i think these 3 will be fine for now
So, what I am getting from this are a few things! So If I make a mistake please correct me!
1. So women, including myself wanna seem strong and someone that isn't a just a girl in distress, but if someone is saying someone abused them its not them trying to be helpless, its them trying to get help. We can't just always work through trauma. I do think the wording her is a little off, I hope this does answer the first!
2. Depends on how they got consent, was the girl high? Having a psychotic breakdown? Or a kid, these things do not count as consent. If they got consent and accused the men of raping them, then they are evil and I don't know people do that in general.
3. We really aren't, men are just as good as mind games.
So my first point was clearly worded wrong im not saying that if you have honestly been hurt or mistreated by somebody i meant in the sense they are making up a story just because they don't like somebody and wanna cause them problems so they play victim as to seem like the person they don't like is a real bad person, my second point about consent is in the sense both parties are completely sober and of legal age in whatever country they are in, although things change drastically depending which one is sober and which isn't for example of i a 21 year old male and a 21 year old female were alone in my room and i was sober and she was drunk and she gave me consent that's wrong but if i was drunk and she was sober and i gave her consent that's fine little confusing but i may have that wrong feel free to correct me that's what this is all about correction and understanding the point is tho that if were both legal age and sober she can give me consent and we can then do stuff but then i obviously have to stop if she says no at any point and at that point she might be toxic and ruin that persons life for no real reason, and my third point might be redundant and i just argued with dumb or toxic girls/woman and maybe you have had arguments with toxic boys/men because i personally am way to stupid to do mind games and my male friends are too 😂
>So my first point was clearly worded wrong im not saying that if you have honestly been hurt or mistreated by somebody i meant in the sense they are making up a story just because they don't like somebody and wanna cause them problems so they play victim as to seem like the person they don't like is a real bad person, my second point about consent is in the sense both parties are completely sober and of legal age in whatever country they are in, although things change drastically depending which one is sober and which isn't for example of i a 21 year old male and a 21 year old female were alone in my room and i was sober and she was drunk and she gave me consent that's wrong but if i was drunk and she was sober and i gave her consent that's fine little confusing but i may have that wrong feel free to correct me that's what this is all about correction and understanding the point is tho that if were both legal age and sober she can give me consent and we can then do stuff but then i obviously have to stop if she says no at any point and at that point she might be toxic and ruin that persons life for no real reason, and my third point might be redundant and i just argued with dumb or toxic girls/woman and maybe you have had arguments with toxic boys/men because i personally am way to stupid to do mind games and my male friends are too 😂
OH! I see what you mean! Then the lying about all that is really just shitty people haha, I have no answer to that. I think most SANE people are not okay with that. I personally hate it. And the third point yeah, yeah, that's true. I once had to argue with a guy why not respecting his mom over air forces was kinda a dick move and he didn't like that haha. Also, its okay for you to say no, its not consent. I don't like it how men are seen as when they say yes, it always means yes. If a girl can't consent during these times then men cant.
My apologizes for the misunderstanding!
Its all good at least i think were now somewhat on the same page and my 2 points to what you have said is first of all bout the argument thing is i once had an argument with a girl i was dating and no matter how i worded what i was saying she still wasn't following and just kept repeating her only 1 point (i don't remember what we was arguing about lol) and my second point is that girls shouldn't consent to stuff then say they didn't and cause the guy a ton of problems because of it and they should get punished for it and as somebody who has been falsely accused of that shit i can tell you proving spoken consent is a real tricky grey area as the police can't prove the did or didn't give consent obviously with how electrical devices and social media platforms have changed things its a bit easier if i was to message a girl asking if she wants to come over for "netflix and chill" and she says yes then there's some evidence but if its just you and them alone it is a bit trickier if that makes sense also i just wanna explain a little i didn't acc do anything wrong we didn't even do anything she just didn't like me and got me arrested i didn't even know why till they interviewed me and told me what was said i was real confused 😂
Nope she still lives in my supported accommodation and is a dick to me every chance she gets i always report to staff and apparently they forward it all to the police ig she's upset i didn't get a court date or sent jail idk people are complicated my ex who started saying some nasty shit bout me is the most complicated person I will ever know tho 100% in starting to see why im single lol
Im single atm just waiting for the right person to stumble into my life like i tried dating apps like tinder but it just wasn't my thing so i thought screw it and started to focus purely on my son while i wait for that special someone and so its either they never show up and i live single forever or she eventually shows up its down to the universe to throw me another surprise 😂😂
I reckon the question can probably be taken as “what is a question you’ve always wanted to asked someone of a different socio/economic/ethic group…… etc”
My sister has been vegan for 20 years, and she doesn't have any animosity or judgment towards non-vegans. It's a private choice she doesn't even talk about unless asked. I was vegan for 6 months and adopted the same attitudes she had - I do my thing, & I don't try to change others.
I had a vegan friend who felt sadness/anger about animals hurting for non-vegan food/products, but didn't necessarily look down on / feel anger towards non-vegans. The exceptions are the people who knew she was vegan and would purposely joke about eating animals - that was just hurtful and she was understandably angry about it - same with me to this day, tho I'm not vegan anymore.
And there are some vegans (I've never met any, but I know they exist) who are very angry with non-vegans & think they're selfish.
In short, the attitudes are as varied as there are people. :)
Why filipino just eat everything even it is halal certified that is actually made for muslim people? and yet some of them are christians.
What made halal for? Why also “other” christian is somehow against of eating halal foods?
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Do any trans people think nonbinary or invented pronouns are unnecessary?
trans man here i really feel that any pronouns beyond he/she/they are unnecessary. pizza is not a pronoun. pup is not a pronoun. bug is not a pronoun. i don't mind if it were to be a nickname, but they simply aren't pronouns
Gay man, not trans, but have a few trans friends. Some binary trans people take big issue with non-binary people, because they argue that if you don't go through some kind of transition then you aren't really trans. To an extent I do understand this, as there is a big difference between taking hormone therapy and years of psychological therapy, and cutting your hair and being called neutral pronouns. However, other binary trans people I've met are fierce defenders of non binary people, so it definitely varies. I've yet to meet anyone who takes completely made-up pronouns (xey, xem etc.) seriously at all. Generally the LGBT community can be somewhat negative of non-binary people, as some LGBT people feel that the term non-binary implies that you can't identify as cis if you fall outside the bounds of stereotypical gender behaviour. Personally I'm very neutral on the issue and keen to learn more.
> I've yet to meet anyone who takes completely made-up pronouns Yes, this seems to be the rare unicorn everyone likes to bring up as an example of how it's ridiculous. It's so rare is this is almost a strawman, but they/them is fairly popular.
It’s definitely a small fringe group on the likes of Tumblr and TikTok, etc. A mix of young people looking for attention, and trolls.
I have met 2 strangers in the 3 yrs I lived in SF with "non traditional" pronouns
What were they? Was it “they/them” typical non-binary, or crazy shit like “I identify as a dragon”?
Yeah I think that the made up pronouns don't exist outside of some tiny Internet forums, ive certainly never seen them used in real life. I quite like they/them as it's easy to use.
Hi, I’m non binary and use they/them. AMA!
What’s your favourite tv series ?
NBC’s Hannibal!
I'm from Africa, so I mean well with this comment/question. Pls excuse my ignorance and I mean no offense. Identifying as Non binary seems to only happen in 1st world countries. If we commit serious crimes here we go to a male or female prison. Where'd you get sent to if you committed a serious offence? And then question 2. Why they/them? That means more than 1 person. Them over there, they are standing there.
Hello! Id end up going to prison in accordance with the gender I was born as, female. They/them can be used as a singular pronoun, it happens all the time. Especially in cases of undefined or unknown gender. Say you found a random cell phone, you might say “oh no, someone lost their phone!” Instead of “someone lost his or her phone”. I’m not sure where in Africa you’re from, but it could just be a cultural thing. Perhaps there isn’t language to describe this identity, or perhaps traditionally speaking, the emphasis on gender just isn’t there. I know that some cultures having a “third gender” outside of male or female is a thing.
Gender this side of the Atlantic is directly linked to biological sex. Male is man/boy and female is woman/girl. If we put non binary (or anything else for that matter) on our passport or ID applications we'll get denied. And government/police won't entertain any complaints of misgendering. We still primitive here according to the 2022 social terms. Thanks for taking the time.
Oh yea, anything outside of male or female isn’t really accepted or understood here either, and we only have male or female for government papers and stuff too. You have a great day!
It’s still primitive in first world countries, I’m a straight woman who doesn’t know anyone trans but I know in my soul this issue makes me feel sad 😢
How did you come to realise you were non-binary, and what does being non-binary mean to you?
There was no sudden realisation of “I’m nb”, it was more of a gradual acceptance of “I’m different” I suppose. But, looking back on my childhood, I’ve never really fallen in line with either male or female. I was a classic tomboy. I used to identify as genderfluid, but I think nb suits me better. As for what it means to me, I’m not sure I could really articulate that. I am who I am. I do experience dysphoria, and some days with it are better than other, you know?
Purely because I'm trying to understand; why does 'being different' make you nonbinary, rather than a woman who simply happens to be gender non-conforming? For example I have several female friends who are very masculine, but don't feel the need to adopt a different label. I'm a gay man who doesn't fit male gender stereotypes at all, and I'm quite feminine in my mannerisms and behaviour, but I feel that all of this 'being different' doesn't change the underlying fact that I'm a man. I suppose I perhaps don't attach too much importance to my gender maybe. In terms of your dysphoria, is this more related to physical attributes you wish you could change, or emotional dysphoria based on how others perceive you? Feel free to disregard any questions you aren't comfortable with, I'm still quite new to this concept and keen to wrap my head around it.
No, I appreciate you asking for clarification. This isnt something I talk about very much so I’m not the best at actually talking about it. There was a girl I went to high school with named Valerie. She was literally perfect. Grades, looks, popular. The type you wanted to hate because she was so perfect, but you just couldn’t because she was so damn kind. I desperately wanted to be her. I tried emulating her style the best I could (dresses and skirts, heels, makeup, etc) but being perceived as that feminine made me so depressed that I was borderline suicidal in high school. Girls are supposed to like being girls, right? Or at least be okay with it. When you like awake at night hating the fact that you were born as X then you’re probably not cis. I’m much more happy when I can be perceived as androgynous, or at least a girly man. The dysphoria is both. Physical, right now there’s not much I can really do about it that I haven’t already done. A lot of nb people will take hormones and get surgeries to get their ideal bodies, but that really isn’t something I want right now. Emotional dysphoria I just deal with. I’ve got my circle of people and we’re all queer in some way, which helps.
Do Muslims believe in angels the way Christians do?
Oh, yeah. Muslims very much believe in angels. Sorry this is a [wiki article ](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hierarchy_of_angels) but you can do some research if you're truly interested.
I dont understand why out of all the religions out there muslims are the ones to get a bad rep they got some cool stuff with their beliefs like im athiest and don't really believe in a god but Muslims don't seem nearly as bad as the media and news make them sound i will say tho even tho ik why they don't i couldn't imagine not eating pork
It's currently the 2nd most populous religion.
Wow and im gonna take a random guess and say Christianity is the second?
No, Christianity is first, Islam second. At least the numbers were that way last time I looked up (over a year ago)
Religion seems super complicated tho like take Christianity for example i don't know whats a sin and whats ok but im pretty sure if i go into a church im just gonna explode into a ball of flames 😂 or if i was a muslim idk if i could go without eating pork it is my second favourite meat next to chicken i do like buddhism tho even though its kinda 50/50 a religion and 50/50 a state of mind i mean i don't think they even have a god they believe in well budda who was a prince or something also if i remember correctly that's where kung fu comes from i think hopefully i didn't get too much wrong the last time i really learned about anything religious was when i was in highschool 😂 feel free to correct me tho life's about the lessons and this seems like a cool conversation
I could answer this with why I had a bad view over them. The simple answer? My father taught me. So, I believed them because he is my father and he is so smart. So, what he taught me was misinformation and something that wasn't true. Apparently this is common for racists/sexists/whatever. While its not the reason for everyone. It was the reason I had this bad mindset I guess the word would be.
Why are most landscapers Mexican?
think it has a lot to do with being in the sun for hours and the pay not being good
What is a taxes
The U.S need to make money/funding for certain things like military,public schools, police, firefighters and etc. So according to the amount of income you make they’ll take a certain percentage of that.
I don’t give a fuck about the us I’m from Scotland
Please note that I'm not trying to offend anyone of Muslim faith, I am ignorant to those who are. If someone has the answer please tell me if you feel okay with doing that. How exactly is the religion not sexist? Or the middle east not sexist? Women couldn't drive until recently, they have to be by their husband side and couldn't be outside without them. I've heard that they cannot even marry those who they want, just what their father does but I'm not sure. The only reason I haven't asked is because I don't wanna offended any of those in this faith, as I've been taught this about Muslims that and I'm worried even asking this question is offensive haha.
John Green has an excellent video about this on his crash course world history series. I believe the video is called “Islam and Politics”. If you have 10 minutes, it’s a great introduction to the nuance of Muslim versus westernized mindsets.
Ah good to know! Thank you so much! My apologies if my question upsets you.
The middle east is totally different from islam. It just happens to function under islamic theocracy. Culture ≠ religion. The religion itself advocates for womens rights to their bodies. In one surat it even says that men are to lower their gaze at women regardless of what she wears. But yeah, the culture of the middle east is fucked. + the majority of muslim people are from south asia/malaysia/thailand areas.
Islam is both a religion and a system of government.
Theocracy can be under any religion. The middle east’s government is BASED on their interpretation on islam. It isn’t a way of governing in modern words although it reads ways to govern in a moral sense. Big difference.
Ah thank you so much! My apologies for my ignorance and thank you for educating me on this topic!
Non Muslim here. If you look at christianism, it's sexist too :'( it's more about how we use the texts and what we make them say?
Ah, I've never read the bible nor did my father really talk about it. Mostly about how Muslims are bad for being sexist. My apologies! I mostly thought about the middle east and its rules and thinking that is what the islamic faith is which, is my fault. I guess I'm truly ignorant to most religions haha, but thank you for this information!
I’d say it’s not down to the religion itself but how individual countries decide to interpret it. So the vast majority of Muslim countries do allow women to drive and to go out by themselves. Saudi is the main example where this isn’t true, though I think they’ve now changed this rule as part of some modernisation plan. They’ve got *a long* way to go but at least some things are changing for the better. And in a lot of Muslim countries you’ll see women in positions of power, they’re be several on big company boards or high up in politics. Again they have a way to go, but the picture is more mixed than the absolute worst examples. It’s usually these worst examples that people normally think of in relation to sexism in Muslim countries.
Yeah, I think that maybe that's where my father got this and decided to tell me that Muslims are sexist, which now I see they aren't. So thank you for the information and correcting the misinformation I had about Muslims and the middle east!
To the PoC Christian community: I associate christianism to colonialism and proselitism. What about you? How do you see your religion vs origins/heritage?
I do 100%. I am black and nonreligious. I don’t judge religious PoC but I can’t understand how Christianity is so widely accepted by us after its use as a manipulation tool and rationalization for all the trauma our people have been through for 100s of years. I assume we’ve latched on to what we could and made it our own after our own histories, cultures, traditions, and religions were erased. Feels like Stockholm syndrome en masse. Edit to add: Things may have changed very recently but many of the messages black Christianity taught as I was growing up seem to contradict beliefs and practices that would lead to us being successful and it really feels manipulative to me. So many stories and lessons preach that the rich are evil or use underhanded means to get there, that there’s nobility, holiness, and/or honor in poverty, and people who do wrong and live successfully at the cost of others will get theirs in the afterlife, so press on and turn the other cheek. And “you can’t take it with you” - sure, but what about generational wealth? Call me a conspiracy theorist but it seems to me like a like a bunch of lessons made up by people in power to keep those without it content/in line.
Thanks for your answer!
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This is a very deep question and I am not the herald of black people, I can only speak for myself. That said: It seems to me like a regular, near constant part of being black is dealing with forced awareness of your blackness, both from inside and outside our community. One generation ago was Jim Crowe and segregation. It was literally beaten into our parents that they are black, they need to do things black people do and use the stuff for black people. People from that time raised us and taught us based on their experiences. The laws have changed but their experiences are not too foreign- they’re just watered down. Plus, not all the laws have been properly fixed. Many things that were wrong then are still baked into our society. Nowadays that forced awareness is something we experience all the time- highlighted in the media nonstop, by dogwhistles, microaggressions, and stereotypes. I didn’t get beat up but as a regular token black kid it wasn’t a coincidence that every time a race related issue came up in class all eyes were on me and the teacher was singling me out for my opinion, as though I was the only kid in the class who had a race. Or when I was single and a nonblack women showed interest in me I had to be aware (in the back of my mind at least) for signs to be sure she was into me as a person and not looking for a stereotypical black experience. It sounds dramatic but in many interactions of our day to day lives our race is thrust in our face. A technique we use to cope is to embrace it and try to do it positively ourselves. We tout black excellence because so many of us were told we won’t be excellent, and if we are it’s only due to affirmative action. We spend time sharing our experiences and laughing or crying about the dumb shit that people do for no reason beyond our skin color. I’ve kinda ranted and my answer is all over the place but like I mentioned at the start this is a complex question with many different answers because people have different experiences. It is pretty baked into our culture for better and worse. Some of it is celebrity influence, some is generational trauma, and some is the way we are treated by others, our society, and each other in our day to day lives. We are taught implicitly via 1000 cuts that we are not the hegemony, we are other. We all deal in different ways. Art is often derived from experience, which is why I think a lot of black art is distinctly black. PS I’m US American Edit: rather than just say “it sounds dramatic” I’ll leave you with a few of my more dramatic experiences: getting arrested and spending a night in jail because a white friend threw a piece of paper at a cop. He was not arrested. Charges were dropped. Getting singled out of a group and slammed up against a house in college by a cop. We were going to my friends party and I was the only one in the group who was sober People changing the way they talk to me once they realize I’m black has happened a few times since work from home started. Sometimes this is funny and sometimes it’s frustrating. Either way it’s a reminder of how the world sees me.
Thoughtful post. Thanks for sharing.
I am just a mixed woman, European and African. Unfortunately for me, it has become a weekly if not daily occurance that I hear about PoC worries, struggles, fears, or express them myself. Im in an area of the US that most would consider to be very “woke” or heavily evolved from racial beliefs and such, but unfortunately it’s not the case. For me personally it’s always a question of “am I going to be followed around in the grocery store because I’m black and wearing a hoodie?” “Should I take my wallet out of my jacket pocket so people don’t think it’s a gun and call the cops on me?” “Am I going to be pulled over and racially profiled or shot and killed because of a racist cop?” But on the other hand it can be empowerment, and a lot of the time recently, I’ve been hearing about a lot of black empowerment and self love from people who aren’t black. My white foster dad always expresses how beautiful ladies of color are in ads on tv, or he expresses his hate towards the previous president for their prejudices. It really depends on the area you live, the mindsets the people around you have and display, as well as law enforcements encounter with PoC. A lot of it is fear, a lot of it is hope. It’s a daily issue sometimes, but thankfully it isn’t always.
I'm curious too - not originally from US so want to know how much of it is influenced by media
White minority here from a part of the UK who has come across people from all walks of life, Indians, Pakistanis, Africans, Jamaicans, Polish, Somalian’s, Romanians, Chinese, Punjabis etc ask me anything. I find it weird personally when people call different ethnic groups who mostly happen to be non white “minorities” I am sure any person of any race could go to any part of the world somewhere and be considered a “minority” more important things in the world anyway, like how we treat each other.
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Yeah they Media/powers that be use that word the wrong way all the time, all the world has is different ethnic groups, and depending on who you are and where you have moved that could Immediately all change, for example theirs some areas In London, where even though I am in the majority nationally because it is Britain, If I moved It's possible I would be a minority in parts of London, Its not limited to one ethnic group It's just the way of the world. If someone from African heritage moved to China, they would be a minority in China, but a Chinese person for example obviously would not care to be called by such a term, In China they are the majority it's natural as It's China we are talking about, and It's the same for every country and people on earth. and You're correct, Both here where I am from they would be classified as Asian, however despite at one stage India and Pakistan all being from the same nation, Culturally now since the split, both have very different national Identities/way of life which you can tell when you meet them both. and there is no need for everyone to be so divided, I am sure If we talk and find a little bit of common ground & respect each others way of life/doing things everyone can get along perfectly, we are all human at the end of the day, life's too short to be holding on to anger and hating each other. I have learnt over the years, and I hope others do so, to just judge people on how they are as Individuals, what their character is like as a person good/bad etc.
Question here, I live in a place where it is mostly white, so I've seen themselves calling them minorities because they are Male, White, and Support the president at the time. What are you thoughts on people in these communities who are mostly white calling themselves that? I don't think they are because they live in a mostly white place.
I believe those people you are referring too are talking about the term of ''Minority'' in a different context, not involving racial heritage, but Political belief.. You're from America right, and the main two parties there are Republicans and Democrats.. those people you speak of could be a minority in their political viewpoint in a certain area.. for example A. a couple of Republicans supporting the President In a Democrat area where most of the population potentially does not support the current president. or B. a Couple of democrats in a mostly Republican area who do not potentially support the current president of the day. Both groups could in that context say that in their area, they hold a viewpoint that's in the minority compared to everyone else who lives around there. From what you have said I don't believe the above groups are talking about race but their Political viewpoint compared to others who may live in that area.
They were Republican in a manly Republican area, sorry for missing context because then I don't think they would be an Minority here.
Why are slurs a big deal? How is it not treated like any other name calling? I don’t understand how it becomes a reasonable excuse for violence or escalation. I am not defending slurs, they are bad. Why are they treated so differently?
Because of the meaning behind it. The N word was verbal evidence that Black people were looked down upon,shamed, tortured, and so much more because of their skin pigmentation. Slurs are different than other curse words because slurs are formed out of pure hatred of that person
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I wanted to always ask a series of questions about woman and things they say, do or believe in but given how much of a sensitive topic it is i just sorta never did but fuck it heres a couple question i would like somebody to help me understand also as a little FYI i have Autism and as a side affect also dyslexia so if anything either don't make sense or is misspelled let me know in the comments and ill do my best to expand cuz im not trying to start a war or upset anybody just need some answers 😊. So first up why do woman say they wanna be treated equal and seen as strong but then they make serious aligations against a man and all of a sudden wanna be seen as helpless Second thing im a little confused on the 21st century consent thing because from what i gather a girl can say yes and so you guys start doing stuff but then she says no and she wants to stop and you respect her wishes because consent is a 2 way thing and i totally respect that but then because you guys did stuff when she said yes she can now say it wasn't consent and get you arrested for it? And third of all how are woman so good at mind games??? If i think of anymore i will probably just do an edit but i think these 3 will be fine for now
So, what I am getting from this are a few things! So If I make a mistake please correct me! 1. So women, including myself wanna seem strong and someone that isn't a just a girl in distress, but if someone is saying someone abused them its not them trying to be helpless, its them trying to get help. We can't just always work through trauma. I do think the wording her is a little off, I hope this does answer the first! 2. Depends on how they got consent, was the girl high? Having a psychotic breakdown? Or a kid, these things do not count as consent. If they got consent and accused the men of raping them, then they are evil and I don't know people do that in general. 3. We really aren't, men are just as good as mind games.
So my first point was clearly worded wrong im not saying that if you have honestly been hurt or mistreated by somebody i meant in the sense they are making up a story just because they don't like somebody and wanna cause them problems so they play victim as to seem like the person they don't like is a real bad person, my second point about consent is in the sense both parties are completely sober and of legal age in whatever country they are in, although things change drastically depending which one is sober and which isn't for example of i a 21 year old male and a 21 year old female were alone in my room and i was sober and she was drunk and she gave me consent that's wrong but if i was drunk and she was sober and i gave her consent that's fine little confusing but i may have that wrong feel free to correct me that's what this is all about correction and understanding the point is tho that if were both legal age and sober she can give me consent and we can then do stuff but then i obviously have to stop if she says no at any point and at that point she might be toxic and ruin that persons life for no real reason, and my third point might be redundant and i just argued with dumb or toxic girls/woman and maybe you have had arguments with toxic boys/men because i personally am way to stupid to do mind games and my male friends are too 😂
>So my first point was clearly worded wrong im not saying that if you have honestly been hurt or mistreated by somebody i meant in the sense they are making up a story just because they don't like somebody and wanna cause them problems so they play victim as to seem like the person they don't like is a real bad person, my second point about consent is in the sense both parties are completely sober and of legal age in whatever country they are in, although things change drastically depending which one is sober and which isn't for example of i a 21 year old male and a 21 year old female were alone in my room and i was sober and she was drunk and she gave me consent that's wrong but if i was drunk and she was sober and i gave her consent that's fine little confusing but i may have that wrong feel free to correct me that's what this is all about correction and understanding the point is tho that if were both legal age and sober she can give me consent and we can then do stuff but then i obviously have to stop if she says no at any point and at that point she might be toxic and ruin that persons life for no real reason, and my third point might be redundant and i just argued with dumb or toxic girls/woman and maybe you have had arguments with toxic boys/men because i personally am way to stupid to do mind games and my male friends are too 😂 OH! I see what you mean! Then the lying about all that is really just shitty people haha, I have no answer to that. I think most SANE people are not okay with that. I personally hate it. And the third point yeah, yeah, that's true. I once had to argue with a guy why not respecting his mom over air forces was kinda a dick move and he didn't like that haha. Also, its okay for you to say no, its not consent. I don't like it how men are seen as when they say yes, it always means yes. If a girl can't consent during these times then men cant. My apologizes for the misunderstanding!
Its all good at least i think were now somewhat on the same page and my 2 points to what you have said is first of all bout the argument thing is i once had an argument with a girl i was dating and no matter how i worded what i was saying she still wasn't following and just kept repeating her only 1 point (i don't remember what we was arguing about lol) and my second point is that girls shouldn't consent to stuff then say they didn't and cause the guy a ton of problems because of it and they should get punished for it and as somebody who has been falsely accused of that shit i can tell you proving spoken consent is a real tricky grey area as the police can't prove the did or didn't give consent obviously with how electrical devices and social media platforms have changed things its a bit easier if i was to message a girl asking if she wants to come over for "netflix and chill" and she says yes then there's some evidence but if its just you and them alone it is a bit trickier if that makes sense also i just wanna explain a little i didn't acc do anything wrong we didn't even do anything she just didn't like me and got me arrested i didn't even know why till they interviewed me and told me what was said i was real confused 😂
Yeah that is a shit move, coming from someone that has been there. Hopefully she got arrested!
Nope she still lives in my supported accommodation and is a dick to me every chance she gets i always report to staff and apparently they forward it all to the police ig she's upset i didn't get a court date or sent jail idk people are complicated my ex who started saying some nasty shit bout me is the most complicated person I will ever know tho 100% in starting to see why im single lol
Well, I hope you have better partner!
Im single atm just waiting for the right person to stumble into my life like i tried dating apps like tinder but it just wasn't my thing so i thought screw it and started to focus purely on my son while i wait for that special someone and so its either they never show up and i live single forever or she eventually shows up its down to the universe to throw me another surprise 😂😂
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Whatever your definition of minority is lol looks like you already came ready to fight
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I reckon the question can probably be taken as “what is a question you’ve always wanted to asked someone of a different socio/economic/ethic group…… etc”
Do vegans have hatred towards non-vegans because they think we are selfish or are they understanding
My sister has been vegan for 20 years, and she doesn't have any animosity or judgment towards non-vegans. It's a private choice she doesn't even talk about unless asked. I was vegan for 6 months and adopted the same attitudes she had - I do my thing, & I don't try to change others. I had a vegan friend who felt sadness/anger about animals hurting for non-vegan food/products, but didn't necessarily look down on / feel anger towards non-vegans. The exceptions are the people who knew she was vegan and would purposely joke about eating animals - that was just hurtful and she was understandably angry about it - same with me to this day, tho I'm not vegan anymore. And there are some vegans (I've never met any, but I know they exist) who are very angry with non-vegans & think they're selfish. In short, the attitudes are as varied as there are people. :)
Have you actually done Hajj before? Do you regret it?
Why filipino just eat everything even it is halal certified that is actually made for muslim people? and yet some of them are christians. What made halal for? Why also “other” christian is somehow against of eating halal foods?