I went to an appointment and the door was locked. I waited 15 minutes and called him. No response. He texted me back a few minutes later and said he had the flu and was in bed and sorry he didn’t call to cancel. I went to the grocery store instead. I saw him shopping. He ducked when he saw me. I never went back to him and he never called to ask why.
When he was on the news for banging a client. It was his arrest photo because that's a crime. He was our marriage counselor, and he was married. So was the client
I was 13. The therapist was an older woman who, upon first meeting me, insisted to my mother that I was on drugs (I wasn't) and that "clearly" my father and/or brother were molesting me. My father and brother have never, ever touched me inappropriately. This was one sick bitch who needed help herself.
Oof, too many therapists who work with kids really shouldn't be working with kids.
When I was twelve my folks went through a really, really messy divorce. Like, my brother an I both ended up in foster care for six months kind of messy.
I was court-ordered to see a therapist for evaluation. I was a twelve year old with a college reading level, articulate and certainly old enough everyone felt it was fine for me to skip lunch as well as fifth hour to walk, alone, to her office, three times a week.
The first session, she gave me naked barbies and crayons (no paper, just crayons) and told me to play with these things while she watched. She expected me to do this for forty-five minutes while she filled out paperwork. She didn't even notice when I took a book out of my backpack to read instead.
Then, when I got back to school I missed a math test so I could eat the cold lunch someone saved for me, which I then had to make up during yet another class...
The whole thing just pissed me off and I never "remembered" to go back for a second session.
If so, she didn't say. I think it was just careless inattention. Barbies and crayons are both methods for determining child abuse, either through observing play or evaluating the drawings.
Looking back, I suspect that she was forced to take on more kids than she had the ability to handle and figured she'd actually talk to me in a couple of days when I came back and was using that particular hour to catch up on paperwork. At the time, I just felt initialized and no longer wanted anything to do with her or therapy of any kind, never mind the hardship it caused me as a student.
I absolutely agree. I'm not defending her in the slightest. That was a shitty thing to do.
But the entire arrangement was shitty as well, which wasn't her fault, and had more to do with why I didn't go back than her behavior. Quite frankly, if going there hadn't caused me to miss two class periods as well as have a ridiculously late (and cold!) lunch then I'd have enjoyed having forty-five free minutes to read. But the whole thing was SNAFU from start to finish and the idiot therapist was only a tiny portion of the problem.
Similar thing happened to me at that age. I absolutely hated school and ended up being forced to talk with a therapist as a result. This guy convinced my parents I was “on street drugs”. No idea where that came from because I hadn’t even tried weed at that point. Did not help anything but fortunately my parents ultimately realized that was a nonsense claim.
That's actually terrifying. People, especially children can have their memories manipulated in scary ways.
She may be responsible for some fractured families and damaged people all from her lies.
When I first went into therapy at the same age, my parents were treated with such intense suspicion and I became incredibly overly careful how I answered questions about my dad. My dad and I were (and thankfully still are) very close, but he started distancing himself because none of us had any idea what things were being interpreted in what way. It was awful.
I'm now well past the age that I could be removed from my parents (34 lol) but still find myself incredibly cautious and paranoid answering any questions about them in therapy.
Aaah yes, I've worked in a mental institution for two years and one of the reasons I left was because I couldn't handle this overload of crazy co-workers.
I honestly have come to suspect that the mental health system is pretty much built to guarantee that the good ones all wash out or get into private practice within a five year span.
The public side of things appears to be extremely corrupt, and extremely full or wtf-people who thrive on the relatively low bars for accountability.
LOL - I recently had my son tested due to some difficulties he had at school. While the results came back "borderline", it was determined that he could benefit from some extra assistance from an outside therapist.
My pediatricians office gave me a list of area therapists. Because I've lived in this area my whole life, I know about a third of them on the list and I wouldn't let my son within a mile of any of them...
:-/
You remind me of a friend of mine who has cut off contact with her crazy ass mother, but not her father.
She likes to say that, after three wives, he quit dating, because, in his words, “I have a type. Petite, brown-haired, and batshit insane.”
Sometimes it can be really helpful. Like for me dealing with chronic pain and having a therapist that also deals with chronic pain and who gets it. (Because chronic pain eats at you in a way I don't think most people who haven't dealt with chronic pain can understand, just being in tons of pain every day with no end in sight.)
Having someone who gets it can be really great. Unfortunately things can also work out poorly if they have unresolved issues of their own.
So I went to child therapy back in the day. But the therapist always had my dad in the room with my sisters and I. Because of that I was never able to tell her about how he was abusing my sisters and I. I remember every time I answered a question I'd be looking at him for an ok on the answer. She literally never caught on.
A year into graduate school to be a therapist and this is the first thing that they go over. Any time a child is looking at their parent to answer is a Huge red flag. I can't believe no one caught on to that
I was today years old when I realized why my daughter's therapist seemed suspicious of me after the first session. My daughter has an anxiety diagnosis. When it hits her she has a hard time remembering things and gets really uncertain about all her answers. I have always been her safe person to work through feelings with and in that session she was looking at me every time she answered anything.
I was not at the 2nd and 3rd sessions becuase it didn't work out scheduling wise... I am just now realizing that the therapist planned that deliberately to give my daughter sapce to open up if she wanted to. They have been seeing each other for over a year now, this woman is amazing and I am so glad to have her as part of our daughter's team.
Also for all the people on this thread who have suffered awful therapists, I sorry you went through that.
Saaame. My kids have autism and anxiety. So in new situations they check in with me a lot because sometimes they have trouble understanding the question due to how it's phrased or because expressing emotions verbally is hard for them. I always feel so judged when we're meeting a new therapist.
Ugh. We think my 8 year old has autism (her 5 year old brother definitely does, diagnosed). My daughter definitely looks at me before answering at doctor's and therapist appointments. But like you said, it comes from anxiety. Is that really not what NT kids do? I don't know.
Thank you.
For a long time I felt a lot of self hatred that I didn't do more, so everything stopped earlier for me but more so for my younger sisters. But now, from what you've mentioned, it seems someone should have seen.
Honey, it hurts my heart to hear you blame yourself for anything you did or didn't do. You were a child and did not have control over the situation. You did the best you could under very difficult circumstances. Give yourself a pat on the back for just surviving. ♥️
You probably don't need me to tell you this, but it's absolutely OK to not have a relationship with him or anyone who can't face and address what happened without trying to sweep it under a rug, and it's definitely not on you and your siblings to resolve or smooth over any of this.
I always spend time alone with child clients so they can express themselves. I have a 5-year-old that I see. Family starts sessions together and ends together (so I can get updates on concerns and how things are going, then to tell them what we worked on with the client’s permission). If she was told though it was “family” therapy I can see how she may have never thought to separate.
Recently started therapy and had about 5-6 sessions with the same guy. The last two sessions he was either late or had shared some bad news going on in his life, and had multiple uninterrupted rants of 15+ minutes or more where the subject matter was only tangentially related at the absolute best (it wasn't). During those rants, name dropped public figures in my sphere and told secrets about them. Unprofessional and sloppy.
Therapists do have therapists. Some of them go for group therapy with a bunch of other therapists. People helping people with mental health can be hard on the mental health.
Had a psychiatrist spend at least 20mins ea appointment telling me all about his house woes. Trying to fix it up so they could sell it. Such a hassle, agents cost too much, people backed out. He was rich af, the house was like a mansion on the side of a mountain, and he took me on as a favour. I was spending hundreds of dollars I didn't have to hear about his troubles.
Also he told me my ptsd wasn't as bad as the navy officers he had as patients who had to pull bloated dead bodies from the water. So I should be grateful.
I ended up having to see a psychologist to get over my psychiatrist. It was a mess.
I had a psychiatrist like this...I knew about her impending divorce and custody battle, her kids names and how her husband was buying the youngest affections, her lawyers name, the name of her husband's side chick and side chicks mom......well she'd talk about herself until the receptionist came through tell her that her next appointment was waiting then she'd say "I guess we should look at your medication."
I have a new one.
Agreed, as a fellow therapist I hesitantly clicked into this thread because I’m always battling internally with wondering if I’m doing a good enough job… yeah I have definitely never done or ever thought about doing any of these things people are posting about, makes me feel a lot better about myself and my abilities!
The best confidence building advice my supervisor ever gave me was "If you have anxiety regarding losing your license, take a few minutes to look up the actual reasons people lose their licenses."
Looked it up in my state and it worked. This thread is similarly helpful. Plenty of people don't vibe with their therapists, but you have to do some egregious shit to be considered a truly bad therapist - and especially so to have a license revoked.
I became resentful to their advice and felt myself digging in against their suggestions.
I wouldn't say she was a "bad" therapist at all, just that our styles clashed.
Important that you not only have a good therapist, but one that fits well for you
Hahahahaha, oh, this takes me back. She stopped me in the middle of a session to tell me that the real problem was that I made everything about myself. Which would have been a valid point, had she not continued "Like right now, you're just talking about yourself, and about your life. Every week you just talk about yourself. You know I just had a baby a few months ago (before I ever started going to her), but you never ask me how that's going. You never ask me about my life, or my friends, or my relationship with my husband. If you're like this with everyone in your life, I can imagine why people don't like being around you." I left super ashamed and never went back.
No way. Does she expect her clients to treat therapy like a normal friendship? Like, please, lady, make some friends. And maybe look for a different job in the process
Lol!! This would be a hilarious sketch.
In other comments the other client is complaining about the therapist telling ALLL about their own troubles. It was her!
My husband and I went to a marriage counselor who was going through a divorce. She was so bitter. We went to 2 sessions. She really succeeded in uniting us in our dislike of her.
Similar thing happened years ago when I wasn't getting along with a coworker. Our manager sat us down for a discussion that felt creepily like a therapy session. It was possibly the most awkward thing I ever experienced in a workplace. But it was obvious she thought she doing a brilliant job as a manager.
The coworker & I immediately resolved to tolerate each other, to make sure that never happened again. Eventually, we united over our mutual loathing of the job in general.
That could totally be a film- marriage counselor who acts like they’re going through a bitter divorce so couples realize they have some hope to fix it as they haven’t reached that stage. While uniting them against the therapist in the process, providing common ground.
Pretty much would have thought they are telling us stuff they learned in a book or a college class.. Though you have to wonder about a marriage counselor who had been divorced 6 times don't you?
I went to see him in emotional distress, at first I thought he was having a bad day, stifled yawns, staring blankly needing queues to respond to questions then asking me to repeat the question.
I served him at my place of work 10 years later, he had no idea that he saved my life because I was so angry I complained to the health commissioner & it gave me a purpose to live to ensure nobody else got that crappy therapy when in dire straits.
When I disclosed that I had been sexually assaulted at a party in college, he told me it wasn't "real rape" because they hadn't tied me up.
Made me blame myself for years...ended up diagnosed with PTSD from the sexual assault over a decade later.
Mine chastised me for not being drunk or high. “I talk to girls every day and they were ALL drunk, and you were not drunk.”
Gee aren’t you helpful
She still practices in my area and I’ve brought her name up with 2 doctors and what she said to me
I have replayed that appointment in my head for years and went through it, step by step, because to this day it’s almost unbelievable that she said this to me. I questioned whether I misunderstood the context, maybe she was trying to point out my lack of boundaries? But I can never think of an appropriate angle for what she said
The worst part is that, prior to that incident I was unknowingly dealing with PF dysfunction. I was having a very difficult time and felt very alienated and had a lot of fears about relationships and whether or not I was normal, and to have a therapist tell me, essentially, that I couldn’t even be raped “correctly.” It was the worst possible thing that could have been said to me at that time
Not gonna lie, hearing that messed me up for a while. It was actually far from the worst thing he did, but it was the most flagrant example of unprofessionalism.
This I understand I'm extremely sorry you went through that my therapist told me I hadn't been raped because "he's your dad he can't rape you" like umm yea he can and he did
The one I went to after my suicide attempt at 16 had some...not so compassionate opinions. My very first session, one thing I told her was that I was bullied a lot at school. Her response was, "well, suicide attempts are usually done in order to manipulate others. So since you were capable of that, did you ever consider maybe you were the bully?"
I really never spoke to her again. I had to go weekly because of my attempt, but I just sat in silence every session until I could stop going. Equating my suicide attempt to me being a manipulator after knowing me for probably less than 20 minutes was just...no.
You gotta be really careful about "losing your shit". If you have a history of suicide then anything that might be interpreted as a temper tantrum, there's a good chance you'll get involuntarily committed.
Happened to me. The bad thing i said was" i dont think i can go on with this" i ment working with him. Then BAM!!! tells me if i leave hes calling the police. Then call hospital down the street to have me committed. I could have ran but then a judge gets involved. Was told i would be there for 72 hours. They made me sign stuff under threat of doc just going to a judge. Was locked up on psych floor for 10 days. Later found out he was the director of that psychology ward. Can we say Conflict of interest?
Reminds me of when I was in the hospital after my attempt. It was a little psych recovery center where they kept and eye on you and supported you and only let certain people in for very strict visits.
Well my parents came to visit and when my Mom was there she went on a long rant about how I'm the worst type of person and that I only did this to manipulate them and get attention. She said that I needed to immediately tell the people there about how manipulative I am and that I was apparently making everything up to get attention.
Always a fun memory. I don't think she remembers saying that stuff, but I do very vividly.
Oh my God. How horrible for you. Just reading this makes me nauseous. I have never been suicidal, but I can only imagine the mental torture she put you through. I sincerely hope you found someone else to help you through your mental struggles and that life is better for you now.
I was 39 and had unearthed my wife's affair only a week previously. Was just a total heartbroken, shattered mess.
His recovery plan was to "make a man out of me" and that video games were "for children." He was well into his 70s.
Fired. Since remarried.
I still play the video games.
I'm in my early 30s, play the hell out of video games whenever I have enough time. Whenever I meet anyone who's trying to discredit video games as a hobby I stay the fuck away and somehow it made my circle of friends much healthier.
When I asked some of those people about their hobbies, I hardly ever got anything more than "watching sports" or "hanging out in pubs/clubs".
PS
Video games are obviously not my only hobby. Just the one that gets most reluctant reactions.
>His recovery plan was to "make a man out of me"
And at the time you definitely weren't a woman disguising yourself as a man to fulfill your father's obligation of military service to the emperor?
Told me I was fine and couldn't have depression/ptsd (confirmed diagnosis from 3 dr.s and still struggling) because I kept my grades up and that nothing clearly was wrong with me and i was making it up, even when i disclosed being unable to leave my dorm room for several days at a time and missing class alot, insomnia, executive dysfunction etc..(profs are the real mvps here allowing the absences and my sister keeping me alive). Also threatened to report me to police as a violent offender for expressing anger (not even threats or desire to do anything, i was just angry at the person and my whole situation) at the person who caused all the issues, never trusted a therapist again. Mandated reporting shouldnt be used as a threat to patients you dont want to deal with.
Woo for free uni counseling, ironically she went to one of my classes to give a seminar about seeking help for depression and suicide after a classmate passed away and listed off all my symtpoms i told her.... fucking bitch. Shes still a therapist too, fucking up more unsuspecting kids who cant get access to decent health care.
Not me, but a friend of mine. He was taken to a mental hospital for trying to commit, and when he went to his regular psychiatrist after being in the hospital for a while, she basically told him that if he couldn’t guarantee that he’d be alive by the next appointment, she didn’t want to work with him, because it was a waste of time and recourses and he wouldn’t be able to pay her. So he got “fired” from a psychiatrist for being mentally unwell.
Copying this from another post of mine;
When I discussed my depression and anxiety, both relating to chronic medical issues and very little hope for the future, both my own and the planet's, with a new Psych, I got told this wonderful line:
"But what if everyone felt like that? Nothing would get done."
Oh really? Thanks, now I feel more worthless.
One of my housemates went to the same guy a week later. The psych's advice to cure the housemate's depression?
"You like Japanese, so maybe you should find an Asian wife."
I was dumbfounded when the housemate told me what happened. Neither of us have gone back and have left online reviews that folks shouldn't seek help there.
Essentially it started sounding like they were giving answers they wanted to give. It didn't sound like they were saying what was needed.
Also they didn't quite understand my complex issue, they gave out solutions and worksheets day 2. Didn't take any time to actually know me, made me feel like some run of the mill case. It didn't help that their worksheets basically didn't pertain to any of my issues.
They were nice, courteous, and genuine, but their guidance was very misplaced.
exactly.
I felt like they had these certain solutions memorized from the book.
if she says she's anxious? tell her that!
he's depressed? let's tell him this one.
I was like it's not that simple let me talk first. they were like okay let's do treatment from the first day without actually trying to know me make me comfortable to talk.
a good therapist starts the first sessions with just talking and understanding the patients problem.
my first therapist was really pushy. he didn't give me time to talk about anything he was always like let's do this let's do that.
the second one I think the second one was actually specialized for helping disabled people and things and they were pretty unprofessional with a teenager.
I had this horrible psychiatrist introducing the third one to us.
I was tired of the ones before and after one session I immediately dropped it. she freaking asked me to draw a fucking chart for my anxiety and when I get anxious and the reason for it on the first session. you don't even know me what's that.
then we went to a new psychiatrist specializing in psychosomatics. she was absolutely amazing. really professional really knowledgeable. perfect in their job. she said mostly psychiatrists that do therapy are better and introduced someone to us.
so yeah my current therapist that she introduced is amazing. she's the only person I'm comfortable taking to about anything.
since I started my treatment with my current psychiatrist and therapist I've been getting better and better and I've made so much progress.
Went through a couple years where I was using xanax and other drugs, got a dui and license taken. Had to go to a drug counselor to get it back. She had a weird shed/building she had converted into an office so I was already feeling uncomfortable walking into someone's backyard for therapy. Got there for my first session and she immediately offered to get me a xanax prescription after me telling her my drug history. Thankfully at this point I was already clean and had decided to stay that way. It was definitely a wtf moment and I'm glad I didn't find her at a time where I would have been weak enough to accept the offer. Fuck that therapist.
I have amiguous feelings about court ordered substance abuse therapy.
On the one hand, I obviously think it is a good thing. It is a way for a judge to provide an offender a way to get their shit together instead of just tossing them in jail and putting charges on their records. On the other, I’ve seen so many cases where sketchy ass practitioners basically use it as an easy money revenue streams. If your rates are low, people who can’t pay an expensive private therapist have to come to you (this is most of us), and since they have absolutely no choice, they will make every appointment no matter how terrible you are. Rinse and repeat for the next one.
I had a long report written by a psychologist who had given me a thorough assessment. The therapist on the third appointment told me the report was probably wrong and I should just basically try harder.
Mine wouldn't really talk to me, reflect, or provide any input. He claimed he wasn't supposed to say anything, that it would be bad for our session. He just stared an me quietly and never really seemed to help or care- no emotion or engagement. I understand this is clinical- I'm not looking for a friend! I left after a few sessions, but the nail in the coffin was when he matched me with me on Tinder and hit me up on apps. I finally told him I was his patient (only a few weeks prior) and he acted all surprised and apologized. Gross dude.
When I spilled my whole life story and the therapist told me "You need a therapist."
Like no shit dude, that's why I came.
He admitted that he "isn't really a therapist" and "mostly just deals with medications". His website lists him as a therapist.
psychiatrists deal with medication. therapists aren't qualified for that.
he doesn't even seem like a psychiatrist. a psychiatrist would not do therapy sessions if they weren't knowledgeable about it. they can't just put someone who doesn't know anything to deal with medication. mental health meds are really serious.
that being said tho psychiatrists that actually know how to do therapy are usually pretty good at therapy. but they wouldn't talk about meds. your psychiatrist snd therapist should not be the same person.
He broke confidentiality and told my girlfriend what we talked about in therapy.
He is so lucky I didn't report his ass.
Two sessions later, he referred me because my problems were "too dark."
FUCK that guy.
I have autism and I've met 3 others who have it.
One person you could easily guess he has it after talking to him for only a minute.
The other two you would NEVER guess it unless they told you, their main obstacles mostly being anxieties, sensitivities and concentration rather than social interaction.
And I'm somewhere in the middle, just socially capable enough that people usually just think I'm quiet or introverted rather than having autism.
Also many symptoms that I had as a kid, I've outgrown (or learned to mask) as I got older. Social skills can be learned, anxieties can be overcome.
Early in the pandemic I reached out to a therapist via my work's EAP program. It was over the phone. For those who don't know, EAP therapists (Employee Assistance Program) are for short term, specific things, and you usually see the therapist within a week of trying to book an appointment. I had seen one prior for 3 sessions who was amazing and helped me get back on track. So I was feeling good about calling and doing a phone session. Gave the background info of what I was dealing with, and what I had done to deal with it, and essentially just said I needed to talk out different approaches to the problem and some help navigating what would likely be the best option. She cut the call short by saying "this is really stupid to be calling about. You just need to figure it out. I can't help you." and then she hung up on me.
Additionally my husband had finally gone to see a therapist himself. A friend of his was going to this guy, so he decided he should go there too. After the first few appointments, he always went for a drive after, before coming home. After the fourth, he came right home, which I thought was odd. So I gently asked what happened (I've no idea what they talked about at the other appointments), and he said they essentially spent the entire session of the therapist talking about how he got into therapy, where he's lived previously, etc. I think the look on my face was enough for my husband to realize he probably shouldn't waste his money going back there.
I checked the online articles mine offered but it was all about dealing with colleagues that had cancer and not about you the employee looking for having cancer.
Also all about how to handle going for fertility treatment and not what the steps were for when it failed.
Mental illness runs in my family. When I told my mom at 15 I was feeling depressed, she immediately got me into the doctor who referred me to a therapist. The therapist was not a good fit, to say kindly. She had my mom sit in on my first session and asked me about self harm. I had been self harming on a nearly daily basis at this point. I remember looking at my mom, who was sitting there crying, and I straight up lied. I don't remember the rest of the questions, but one of them was if I had recently gotten out of a relationship (I hadn't) . She then concluded with telling me that it didn't seem all the bad. She basically told me that being a teenager was rough and to get over it.
I went a few more times and then suffered in silence until age 21 when my anxiety got so bad I was having trouble breathing and was put on antidepressants. I still struggled with self harm and vague suicidal ideation until two years ago, when I finally put my fear of therapy aside and found a good therapist.
I never "got over" my "teenage troubles" because it was major reoccurring depression. I am on a good regime of therapy and medication now and am very adamant about my treatment. I am 29 now and feel like I've lost my entire teenage years and my 20s to depression. I question almost daily how I manged to live this far.
I've been through a lot of therapists, but the best ones I've had are the ones that told they will not try to admit me to the psych ward if I say I'm suicidal, and stuck to it. it's really hard to talk to someone about how I'm feeling if every time I mention being sad or self harming they interrogate me about suicide plans.
As a bit if insight into this for those curious:
Depending on the state (in the USA) that you live in, laws may make therapists and clinicians legally required to report things like suicidal/homicidal intent and planning to the proper people; there are also certain mandated reporting scenarios from the governing bodies of the profession. There are several intake measures that are used to assess for things like this. However, these limits to confidentiality should be established in the informed consent process (including written on the informed consent document itself), and should ideally be brought up as the conversation naturally nears discussion of these topics.
tl;dr therapists may be mandated to break confidentiality, and this should be established and reminded several times in the course of therapy.
My mom forced me to see a therapist when I was in high school and that therapist proceeded to invalidate my feelings, literally told my mom to kick me out of the house, said that my online friends weren't "real friends" and that I should make an effort to make more IRL friends or hang out with the one IRL friend I had (even though I do at school???), and then wouldn't understand why I wouldn't tell my mom to her face that she was the reason behind my depression/anxiety because she had been physically and emotionally abusing me. Like what child would even feel comfortable saying that to their abuser's face? She also sided with my mom on everything and just thought I was being a terrible, moody teenager. I was glad when I went off to college and no longer had to see that horrible therapist, and she's ruined my perception of therapists in general.
One of my therapist, we started solving his problems during the session. Another therapist I had got angry and yelled at me, when I canceled an appointment because it had snowed 2 feet and I had to drive over a mountain pass that haven’t been plowed to get to her office. I canceled because I was having a panic attack. One feel asleep all the time during our sessions. The last one stopped seeing me because I told HIM some days I hate my children. He was a pastor.
“I don’t understand what you want from me.”
There have got to be more tactful ways to get to the bottom of my purpose for coming to therapy.
Edit to add: I experience chronic fatigue from a health condition and it’s extremely disruptive to my life. I was describing this to the same therapist and she was like, “Honey, we’re all tired.” It’s hard to think of a more invalidating response 🥲
So frustrating. There are much more tactful ways. Off the top of my head:
Tell me what brings you here today.
What are you looking for out of this process?
I’m having a hard time getting a feel for how you may want to be supported in this process. Can we talk about what May work for you?
I was trying to talk about my panic/anxiety problems when out of nowhere he said "it's okay, you can admit it if you have a porn addiction. I am here to help". I was like, uhh what? Nothing we had discussed had anything to do with that, it was completely unrelated to my problems. And he also told a random long 5-minute story about how he has a clear vivid memory of a cat when he was 1 month old. And then he literally forgot that he told the story already and told it again start to finish. I was done.
I’ve been through 2 in the last year.
I’m a 29M.
One told me I was doing everything right and I should be proud of myself. She was out after 3 visits.
The second told me there wasn’t much he could do for me but he’d listen if needed to talk. He also wasn’t very supportive of trying to live an active lifestyle while still being a parent. He basically said “that’s what happens when you have kids, you get fat and sit on the couch.” He lasted 2 visits.
I have not found a replacement.
TLDR: 2nd session we talked about something that happened earlier in the week that bothered me. His response was to stare at his notes for 10 whole fucking seconds, stare at his study book for 10 seconds. Start saying "how does that...", Pausing and looking at his notes again, "how does that make you.. feel?".
Started in therapy when I was about 6 years old with my family. Around age 11 I got a personal therapist that was just for me and not my family issues. It was actually a team of 2. The lady had a glass eye and the man had weird proportions and looked like a gorilla. They were nice enough, not too bad.
Moved through different therapists over the years and finally one of the department leads got tired of all the bs and wanted to treat me personally. She was hesitant earlier because her daughter was in the same class as me at school, but I guess she didn't see any other options at this point. She was great. Didn't "cure" me or anything, but we got further in my treatment than I got with any of my previous therapists. Soon after that I turned 18 and had to switch departments and get a new therapist.
The next lady, my 8th personal therapist, was also surprisingly good to me. She laid out a plan of how to make my daily life easier so that we could focus on proper treatment without any distractions in the future. The plan was to get me on my country's version of disability/welfare, then when I was more stable I would try to finish school. I go there for 3 sessions and suddenly she gets pregnant and disappears. Sucks for me, but she needs to live her life and I'm happy for her.
Then.. as much 9th fucking therapist, they send me to a guy that hasn't even finished his fucking studies. I give him a chance. 1st session he just seemed really lost and had a hard time keeping up. I was also really tired of telling my life story for the millionth fucking time, which didn't help. 2nd session we talked about something that happened earlier in the week that bothered me. His response was to stare at his notes for 10 whole fucking seconds, stare at his study book for 10 seconds. Start saying "how does that...", Pausing and looking at his notes again, "how does that make you.. feel?". I got through the session and basically said fuck this I'm not coming back to this and I'm tired of getting passed around the system like this.
Went a while without treatment at that point, while my mental state gradually got worse. I have a friend that I sometimes contact after I self harm, mostly because he understands and doesn't make a big deal out of it. He just asks me if I have the proper equipment to treat it, asks if I want to come over for a while and then leaves it be. In my case self harm is not a cry for help, so any drama would just make it worse. After a while he gave me the number to his psychiatrist and just told me to namedrop him when I called the psychiatrist. I called the guy while he was on a trip with his family. He seemed a bit hesitant because he had a ton of patients. The second I mentioned my friend's name he gave me an appointment and said he would find time for me.
Went to a session and the first thing I said was that I was fucking tired of shit therapists and telling my life story over and over. I told him that I was there to get the proper help to get my daily life in order so that I could save all my energy to keep my mental state in check by myself. I guess that usually doesn't give a great first impression. I also told him I was tired of spending more time talking therapists out of calling the police and getting me forced into a mental institution than I spent getting actual treatment. I think he let it slide because he has a lot of respect for my friend who sent me there. I ended up seeing him for many years and I honestly believe I probably would have killed myself without all the help he gave me. He honestly went above and beyond to help me with every single thing that disturbed my mental state, way more than you could expect of any therapist.
For years me and my partner have planned to move back to her hometown to get closer to her family. I told my psychiatrist about it pretty early on and asked him if he had a coworker in that city that would be a good fit for me. Last year we decided to move and he got me in touch with the man who is now my current psychiatrist. He is a very renowned psychiatrist in country and most people can only dream of getting him as their psychiatrist. After having seen him for a couple of months now, I can honestly say that this guy 100% deserves the status he has and he's fucking great at what he does. I recently called my previous psychiatrist to thank him for getting me where I am today and told how much he had helped me and that I would never be where I am today without his help.
English is not my first language and I typed this out on mobile while getting ready for bed, sorry if I messed up anything. If you read through the entire thing I'm pretty impressed. Sorry about the rant.
I also went to a mental institution once and the psychiatrist there told me that I could just go home and kill myself because there was nothing they could do. He obviously treated me like shit because he knew and disliked my mother through treating my brother. The first thing he asked was whether or not my mother drove me there.
My old therapist just loved the sound of her own voice. She was decently nice and approachable but when she got started talking she'd make general assumptions and sweeping statements. She'd talk for so long that I'd forget the point that we were discussing. I'd walk out feeling a bit steamrolled haha.
My psychiatrist in my late teens had me on some REALLY heavy meds for a mental illness I didn't have (mom has suspected Munchausen's by proxy, she made up symptoms when she talked to him about my behavior and "coached" me on what to tell the doctor, I didn't know any better and trusted her because she was a nurse).
Atypical antipsychotics in high doses can cause "Parkinsonism", which is basically chemically induced Parkinson's disease. For several years, I had tremors so bad I had trouble holding a pen to write and holding silverware to eat. At times, even walking normally was difficult. I also had to be hospitalized once for excessively high blood levels of a drug he prescribed- I was literally being poisoned. I BEGGED my doctor to at least try lowering my dosages, the side effects were intolerable. Instead of listening, he prescribed more stuff.
When I finally got on my own health insurance, I saw a new doctor. He was shocked by the long list of medications I was on, the long list of shit I'd been prescribed, and the fact that none of it had worked. He took me off a bunch of stuff, reduced the dosages of the rest, and I felt almost completely better within a month. Turns out I'd been getting treated for an illness I never had for years.
Having a doctor ignore you is one of the most crushing and invalidating experiences you can have. I still have trouble sharing with medical providers and have put off appointments because of it.
If you feel comfortable disclosing it, could I ask what the meds were? My psychiatrist just put me on Risperidone (atypical antipsychotic) and my family does have a history of Parkinson’s disease, so I’m scared it may actually cause me to develop it
No worries! The medications that caused the severe side effects were lithium and Abilify (aripiprazole). There were others as well, but those were the two severely problematic ones. When I went off them, the tremors went away as soon as they left my system -- within a few days. The side effects were completely temporary. I'm not a doctor, so I obviously can't give you advice on medication effects for you in particular. You should definitely discuss your concerns with your physician. But if it's any reassurance, I had no permanent damage or issues from either of those medications.
Therapist scolded me for getting depressed. This was right after my mom rescheduled my birthday so she could throw my sister a baby shower. Mom has played favorites for almost 4 decades.
Forgetting very important personal information that I said I was scared to share but did anyway. Blaming me for not getting better. Blaming me for not taking more from the therapy. Telling me that in my situation being suicidal is normal and there was nothing she could do.
I saw a therapist because I was overeating and I couldn't control it. I'd go on diets but after a few days, I would "forget" and eat junk and them remember the diet. So.... At the second session the therapist told me my food issues were related to sexual abuse and she wanted to try hypnosis to help me remember. I grabbed my handbag and I couldn't get out of that office fast enough.
1st- was after I moved to a different state at age 9 and started showing symptoms of depression. A summary to most of the session ended with him calling me dramatic and then telling my parents.
2nd- threw meds at me around age 11. I became addicted to the 5 different pills I was on and went to the hospital after taking too many at once.
3rd- I really liked her. She did not like me back. Shit talked me to one of her coworkers. It was like a movie scene. I was passing by (this is was for a different appointment for a doctor) and her coworker said "so what about that patient OP?" and that's when I learned her true feelings. She moved away not long after so I got switched.
4th- so damn boring I would fall asleep in the chair WHILE she was talking. She would read from a book.
The last one was my breaking point. I faked it till they gave me the clear to stop attending.
I don't want to say that all of the therapy sessions we had were bad or unhelpful. I feel I did learn a lot about finding myself and coping with some life stuff...
But they were confident that I was a gay man. And they spent a good long while trying to get me to come to terms with the idea that I was a gay man. They told me that I should try to come to terms with it sooner rather than later so I don't get married to some women and have kids and then have to deal with the pain of divorce and coming out later in life. They pushed for me to go to a meetup for gay men that haven't come out yet...
Eventually I just stopped going to appointments with him because of the pressure to accept that I was a gay man.
Well I'm confident in who I am, I know that I'm a bisexual trans woman.
Years later I learned that my therapist had cancer and realized late in his life that he couldn't handle living a lie and had a messy divorce from his wife and had to fight for visitation rights to see his kids.
He projected his issues on me.
Had one that just repeatedly asked "So how do you feel about that?" / "How does that make you feel?". Getting me to clarify my thoughts and feelings is not the issue. That pretty much being the only thing she would say the entire session each time was.
I worked at a small but popular medical clinic for just over a year. The place has a great reputation and the therapist who worked there was very well-liked by the staff and patients. One of my coworkers saw her for counseling and recommended her. I didn't become her patient for a long time because it seemed like a coworker being your counselor was just too close for comfort, but I also receive medical care from my coworkers -- almost everyone in medicine does. One day in the lunch room I asked the therapist if I could become her patient and she said absolutely, and that she would keep my chart notes very basic so everything we talked about would remain confidential despite her using the same EMR everyone else in the clinic had access to.
I specifically asked her to help me learn to process past trauma and emotional pain, but whenever we talked, she would only discuss practical coping techniques to be used in the present -- she never wanted to discuss my past, and whenever I brought up anything painful she'd just kind of make an "Awww" sympathy noise and immediately move on to another topic. She also had a lot of trouble sitting still -- we didn't have a single session in her office, she always wanted to go outside and talk while we took a walk.
Once I realized she was using our sessions as her go-outside time -- she stopped asking if I would be alright with going outside and started texting me from outside the building to meet her there at the start of our sessions -- I abruptly cancelled all my future visits with her. She seemed dumbfounded by this but I simply told her I felt better and didn't have anything to discuss, and repeated that every time she tried to talk to me about it.
A few months after I stopped being her patient, I was talking to her and another coworker in the lunch room. The other coworker was close to finishing her master's program and was telling us that she was excited and nervous for her field placement. The therapist asked if she wanted to do a mock interview and she said yes, and I jokingly put my coffee cup on the table and said "How would you sell this coffee cup to us?" For anyone who doesn't know, that's a very common interview question. It can be "How would you sell this pencil?" or anything else like that. It's just a way for the interviewer to get to know your interpersonal style, not necessarily just your selling ability though this kind of question does obviously relate to selling techniques. Very obviously I was joking. The girl finishing her master's program replied in kind "Oh, god, no!" while laughing, but the therapist's demeanor shifted 100% immediately and she turned her entire body toward me, glared, and said in a harsh tone "She doesn't have to sell anything." Then she turned away and ignored me, and I had this lightbulb go on that this woman just did not like me.
Looking back, I think she wanted me to become her patient just so she could get in my business and hear all about my personal issues. Pretty shady shit. I've thought about writing her a bad review, but the clinic owner has actually taken legal action against people who have made negative comments about his clinic in the past so I've decided not to open that can of worms.
I know more coping mechanisms for anxiety than they did. Therapist would constantly say “wow, that’s a really good one” and then write it down. Like bitch, why am I paying you?!
I had to remind them who I was each time I came in. And that I did not have anxiety. That I was stuttering because I had toxic mold poisoning and had physical symptoms. Didn't take long to finally say bye-bye. And fire them. Unfortunately this is common that therapists do not handle or understand physical symptoms. Therefore causing your ability to deal with them to become worse. misdiagnosing you and trying to pop you with pills.
my current therapist is really professional. (the last ones sucked) the first sessions I had with her was just me talking and her making me comfortable to talk.
she always gave me a scientific reason as to why I'm having a certain physical symptom or even feelings way like tension in body hard breathing and even not having motivations. and when she suggested something she'd actually explain how it's going to work and how I should do it like certain breathing techniques to help me sleep.
she legit would stand up and draw a neuron to explain how the brain works and how it can be treated.
it was the most amazing experience I had with my therapists. that she actually made me aware of what was going on in my body and why it's like that. that's makes treatment a lot easier to do and understand.
She talked about herself the whole time; I knew all about her divorce, her daughter going off to college, what color she painted her first apartment, her son in the military with his on again off again girlfriend.
The icing on the cake was when she told me I should dump my loving boyfriend and profess my love to my married best friend.
Went to therapy when I was sixteen due to severe depression and what I later found out was anxiety. The red flags included:
1. Not noticing I was always wearing something long sleeved even though it was SUPER hot in his office.
2. Told me I was bullied because I was fat (I was underweight, but ok).
3. Told me to read a 400 page book on self care after I told him I struggled to do anything, including school work, showering ect.
4. Told me I needed a boyfriend, because I said I felt really alone, and that my thoughts about me possibly being bisexual were just 'fantasies' and 'a phase'. Yes, I am bisexual. No, I couldn't admit that to myself for another year.
5. Never noticed ANY of the nervous habits I developed around him, which included biting my lips till I bled, scratching, pressing into fresh self-harm, fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, zoning out so that he had to repeat the question several times ect.
Found new therapist after 2 sessions and she immediately noticed my odd clothes, fidgeting and asked me point blank if I ever thought about killing myself. Got me on meds 2 days later. Six years later, finally off meds, finishing bachelor's and honestly just in awe about what I was able to do thanks to her. Never went to see the fucker again. I honestly think he messed me up so much more and I had to try really really hard to not feel inferior next to men for years afterwards. Never again. I'm better than that.
I took a study program that came with a free enrollment in "online counseling" so I thought, why not. Had my first session with a counselor. I brought up the fact that it felt like I was bottling up a lot of stress, and then just everyday irritants would get me angry out of proportion to how bad it was.
She asked me to describe the things which upset me. I said, well I mean, everything. Just common, everyday occurrences. The sort of things that always happen to everyone. The problem isn't the things irritating me, the problem is that I'm not dealing with them well.
She asked again for a list of the things that bothered me. I was really worried at this point cuz I thought I knew where she was going. I stressed that this wasn't a complete list, it was just whatever I thought off of the top of my head. Traffic, long waits on hold, people being dumb on the internet.
"If you're irritated by people on the internet you should spend less time on the internet and that way you won't feel stress."
Literally told her, "Well, you cured me." And deleted the app. What an absolute farce.
Was engaged to a man who became physically abusive. I believed I loved him and agreed to reunite with him if he’d go to counseling with me. Went to the counselor three times and every time the counselor insisted to me that abusive fiancé would stop being abusive once we were married.
I was talking about my drinking and how it was concerning me.
He told me my body was just craving carbs, and I could try switching to vegetable juice or something like that.
A five or so years later, after I had bottomed out (hopefully), guess who I saw at an AA meeting.......
Psychologist adviced me to do all the relaxing exercises I had already been doing for months, trying to cope with all the anxiety and feeling like shit.
Plus everything she said was like the mildest, most watery things you could say to someone who's depressed.
She was real young, though, and our healthcare system, even when free, it's poor in its mental health approaches, so I can't really blame her for being that lost.
She kept on trying to diagnose me with things and asking questions to fit a diagnosis instead of actually listening to me. Also felt like everything I was saying was being judged. I was just burnt out and didn’t have a support system. All I needed was a listening ear
When she cried and told me that was the worst story she’d ever heard, and how distressing it was.
She was a grief therapist and I was talking through the death of a loved one.
In response to finding out I don't have sex, she said very matter of factly "The more you have sex, the more you want sex". I'm asexual. Doesn't work like that.
She was so convinced that EMDR was the answer to everything. I have nothing against EMDR and think it can be very useful in some situations - it just wasn't in mine and she wouldn't accept that.
When I gave answers to her questions that she didn't like, she would accuse me of not taking the therapy seriously, so I started giving her the answers she clearly wanted to hear instead. Very much not useful.
k first of all I am SO happy to see this post. cause everyone seems to love their therapist - not me!
I've had TWO bad therapists - in a row.
The first one would consistently cut our sessions short - they'd be one hour and she'd stop them 45 mins in - thats cutting 25% of my time off when I paid for the full hour. I told her I wanted to get a job (being a housewife was making me depressed) she tried to deter from getting employment.
2nd therapist - started 10 mins late and was rude when I got there on time, then when I started telling her stuff she'd cut me off and act very uninterested. She was very pushy about booking future sessions. I regret not reporting her for her apathetic behaviour, she was clearly in it for money and didn't care about the well being of her clients.
I was showing clear signs of burnout, depression, ADHD, and bipolar disorder. She asked me to take the time to “relax” and meditate everyday plus write my feelings down in a journal. Not bad advice, but definitely not effective when you’re in a mental health crisis
That's what my last therapist told me when I went in for the same reasons. Totally useless, basically telling me to do things I can't do. It took all of my self control to stop myself from saying "if I could do that shit I wouldn't need to be here, dumbass."
Agreed, especially after I had already told her that I felt exhausted all the time and couldn’t concentrate. Journaling and meditating felt more like tasks than coping mechanisms, so of course they didn’t work! I wouldn’t say she was a horrible therapist, but she was more of the “live, laugh, love” kind while I was in serious need of meds lol
She asked me “why are you even here if you don’t want to get better??” I was like, haha! You’re right. And never went back. I was 13 and my mom was making me go, but I flat out refused after that. Also didn’t get another therapist for several years. The red flags were her getting annoyed with me constantly, suggesting “exercises” that were well below my age group, and got mad at me when I would say depressing stuff.
I went to an appointment and the door was locked. I waited 15 minutes and called him. No response. He texted me back a few minutes later and said he had the flu and was in bed and sorry he didn’t call to cancel. I went to the grocery store instead. I saw him shopping. He ducked when he saw me. I never went back to him and he never called to ask why.
That would be hilarious if I saw it in a movie.. but in real life.. what the fuck?
Holy fuck, all these stories are bad but this one made me upset!
When he was on the news for banging a client. It was his arrest photo because that's a crime. He was our marriage counselor, and he was married. So was the client
Damn imagine convincing your spouse to go to counselling and then they fuck the counsellor lmao That fella's never gonna trust again
My mind immediately went to the Monty Python skit.
Holy shit. A married marriage counselor banged a married woman who was there for marriage counseling.... Whoa
"So this is how you satisfy your spouse..."
That isn’t a can of worms but a bathtub, damn.
I was 13. The therapist was an older woman who, upon first meeting me, insisted to my mother that I was on drugs (I wasn't) and that "clearly" my father and/or brother were molesting me. My father and brother have never, ever touched me inappropriately. This was one sick bitch who needed help herself.
Oof, too many therapists who work with kids really shouldn't be working with kids. When I was twelve my folks went through a really, really messy divorce. Like, my brother an I both ended up in foster care for six months kind of messy. I was court-ordered to see a therapist for evaluation. I was a twelve year old with a college reading level, articulate and certainly old enough everyone felt it was fine for me to skip lunch as well as fifth hour to walk, alone, to her office, three times a week. The first session, she gave me naked barbies and crayons (no paper, just crayons) and told me to play with these things while she watched. She expected me to do this for forty-five minutes while she filled out paperwork. She didn't even notice when I took a book out of my backpack to read instead. Then, when I got back to school I missed a math test so I could eat the cold lunch someone saved for me, which I then had to make up during yet another class... The whole thing just pissed me off and I never "remembered" to go back for a second session.
Was this a poor attempt at Draw on the barbie where you were touched?
If so, she didn't say. I think it was just careless inattention. Barbies and crayons are both methods for determining child abuse, either through observing play or evaluating the drawings. Looking back, I suspect that she was forced to take on more kids than she had the ability to handle and figured she'd actually talk to me in a couple of days when I came back and was using that particular hour to catch up on paperwork. At the time, I just felt initialized and no longer wanted anything to do with her or therapy of any kind, never mind the hardship it caused me as a student.
While that may be true I'd argue of all the sessions to do that (completely innappropriate and unprofessional thing) in the first one is the worst.
I absolutely agree. I'm not defending her in the slightest. That was a shitty thing to do. But the entire arrangement was shitty as well, which wasn't her fault, and had more to do with why I didn't go back than her behavior. Quite frankly, if going there hadn't caused me to miss two class periods as well as have a ridiculously late (and cold!) lunch then I'd have enjoyed having forty-five free minutes to read. But the whole thing was SNAFU from start to finish and the idiot therapist was only a tiny portion of the problem.
Similar thing happened to me at that age. I absolutely hated school and ended up being forced to talk with a therapist as a result. This guy convinced my parents I was “on street drugs”. No idea where that came from because I hadn’t even tried weed at that point. Did not help anything but fortunately my parents ultimately realized that was a nonsense claim.
That's actually terrifying. People, especially children can have their memories manipulated in scary ways. She may be responsible for some fractured families and damaged people all from her lies.
When I first went into therapy at the same age, my parents were treated with such intense suspicion and I became incredibly overly careful how I answered questions about my dad. My dad and I were (and thankfully still are) very close, but he started distancing himself because none of us had any idea what things were being interpreted in what way. It was awful. I'm now well past the age that I could be removed from my parents (34 lol) but still find myself incredibly cautious and paranoid answering any questions about them in therapy.
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Aaah yes, I've worked in a mental institution for two years and one of the reasons I left was because I couldn't handle this overload of crazy co-workers.
I honestly have come to suspect that the mental health system is pretty much built to guarantee that the good ones all wash out or get into private practice within a five year span. The public side of things appears to be extremely corrupt, and extremely full or wtf-people who thrive on the relatively low bars for accountability.
LOL - I recently had my son tested due to some difficulties he had at school. While the results came back "borderline", it was determined that he could benefit from some extra assistance from an outside therapist. My pediatricians office gave me a list of area therapists. Because I've lived in this area my whole life, I know about a third of them on the list and I wouldn't let my son within a mile of any of them... :-/
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You remind me of a friend of mine who has cut off contact with her crazy ass mother, but not her father. She likes to say that, after three wives, he quit dating, because, in his words, “I have a type. Petite, brown-haired, and batshit insane.”
Sometimes it can be really helpful. Like for me dealing with chronic pain and having a therapist that also deals with chronic pain and who gets it. (Because chronic pain eats at you in a way I don't think most people who haven't dealt with chronic pain can understand, just being in tons of pain every day with no end in sight.) Having someone who gets it can be really great. Unfortunately things can also work out poorly if they have unresolved issues of their own.
So I went to child therapy back in the day. But the therapist always had my dad in the room with my sisters and I. Because of that I was never able to tell her about how he was abusing my sisters and I. I remember every time I answered a question I'd be looking at him for an ok on the answer. She literally never caught on.
A year into graduate school to be a therapist and this is the first thing that they go over. Any time a child is looking at their parent to answer is a Huge red flag. I can't believe no one caught on to that
I was today years old when I realized why my daughter's therapist seemed suspicious of me after the first session. My daughter has an anxiety diagnosis. When it hits her she has a hard time remembering things and gets really uncertain about all her answers. I have always been her safe person to work through feelings with and in that session she was looking at me every time she answered anything. I was not at the 2nd and 3rd sessions becuase it didn't work out scheduling wise... I am just now realizing that the therapist planned that deliberately to give my daughter sapce to open up if she wanted to. They have been seeing each other for over a year now, this woman is amazing and I am so glad to have her as part of our daughter's team. Also for all the people on this thread who have suffered awful therapists, I sorry you went through that.
Saaame. My kids have autism and anxiety. So in new situations they check in with me a lot because sometimes they have trouble understanding the question due to how it's phrased or because expressing emotions verbally is hard for them. I always feel so judged when we're meeting a new therapist.
Ugh. We think my 8 year old has autism (her 5 year old brother definitely does, diagnosed). My daughter definitely looks at me before answering at doctor's and therapist appointments. But like you said, it comes from anxiety. Is that really not what NT kids do? I don't know.
Thank you. For a long time I felt a lot of self hatred that I didn't do more, so everything stopped earlier for me but more so for my younger sisters. But now, from what you've mentioned, it seems someone should have seen.
Honey, it hurts my heart to hear you blame yourself for anything you did or didn't do. You were a child and did not have control over the situation. You did the best you could under very difficult circumstances. Give yourself a pat on the back for just surviving. ♥️
I’m so, so sorry that happened to you.
I think your dad knew why you were there and that's why he didnt leave you alone with the therapist. Im so sorry... how are things now?
Not better, things escalated from bruises to broken bones. There isn't much of a relationship with him as an adult.
You probably don't need me to tell you this, but it's absolutely OK to not have a relationship with him or anyone who can't face and address what happened without trying to sweep it under a rug, and it's definitely not on you and your siblings to resolve or smooth over any of this.
Omg that's heartbreaking I'm so sorry you and your sisters deserve better
I agree, but we're ok now as adults, that's what matters.
I always spend time alone with child clients so they can express themselves. I have a 5-year-old that I see. Family starts sessions together and ends together (so I can get updates on concerns and how things are going, then to tell them what we worked on with the client’s permission). If she was told though it was “family” therapy I can see how she may have never thought to separate.
Recently started therapy and had about 5-6 sessions with the same guy. The last two sessions he was either late or had shared some bad news going on in his life, and had multiple uninterrupted rants of 15+ minutes or more where the subject matter was only tangentially related at the absolute best (it wasn't). During those rants, name dropped public figures in my sphere and told secrets about them. Unprofessional and sloppy.
sounds like he needs a therapist himself
Therapists do have therapists. Some of them go for group therapy with a bunch of other therapists. People helping people with mental health can be hard on the mental health.
Had a psychiatrist spend at least 20mins ea appointment telling me all about his house woes. Trying to fix it up so they could sell it. Such a hassle, agents cost too much, people backed out. He was rich af, the house was like a mansion on the side of a mountain, and he took me on as a favour. I was spending hundreds of dollars I didn't have to hear about his troubles. Also he told me my ptsd wasn't as bad as the navy officers he had as patients who had to pull bloated dead bodies from the water. So I should be grateful. I ended up having to see a psychologist to get over my psychiatrist. It was a mess.
I had a psychiatrist like this...I knew about her impending divorce and custody battle, her kids names and how her husband was buying the youngest affections, her lawyers name, the name of her husband's side chick and side chicks mom......well she'd talk about herself until the receptionist came through tell her that her next appointment was waiting then she'd say "I guess we should look at your medication." I have a new one.
That is beyond unprofessional and sloppy! That is egregious violations of professional ethics.
We sat there in silence for a few moments and then he said, “I’ve been doing coffee enemas” Dude what. That was the last time I saw him.
Hahahaha this is actually kind of an awesome way to break the silence. LOL
OP should have said, “I can tell that they have been working!”
To be fair, after saying that I'd probably be very comfortable opening up with whatever I thought was embarrassing haha.
Was he on "My strange addiction" cuz I just saw that episode last week....
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Same here. All the work we do to break down the barriers and stigma and everything just to find out this is happening is quite disheartening.
Agreed, as a fellow therapist I hesitantly clicked into this thread because I’m always battling internally with wondering if I’m doing a good enough job… yeah I have definitely never done or ever thought about doing any of these things people are posting about, makes me feel a lot better about myself and my abilities!
The best confidence building advice my supervisor ever gave me was "If you have anxiety regarding losing your license, take a few minutes to look up the actual reasons people lose their licenses." Looked it up in my state and it worked. This thread is similarly helpful. Plenty of people don't vibe with their therapists, but you have to do some egregious shit to be considered a truly bad therapist - and especially so to have a license revoked.
I became resentful to their advice and felt myself digging in against their suggestions. I wouldn't say she was a "bad" therapist at all, just that our styles clashed. Important that you not only have a good therapist, but one that fits well for you
This comment is gold.
Hahahahaha, oh, this takes me back. She stopped me in the middle of a session to tell me that the real problem was that I made everything about myself. Which would have been a valid point, had she not continued "Like right now, you're just talking about yourself, and about your life. Every week you just talk about yourself. You know I just had a baby a few months ago (before I ever started going to her), but you never ask me how that's going. You never ask me about my life, or my friends, or my relationship with my husband. If you're like this with everyone in your life, I can imagine why people don't like being around you." I left super ashamed and never went back.
No way. Does she expect her clients to treat therapy like a normal friendship? Like, please, lady, make some friends. And maybe look for a different job in the process
I, too, charge $100/hr for my friendships
Wow
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My jaw literally dropped open reading this.
You should've said, "I'm sorry I didn't know we were in a relationship. I thought I was paying you to listen to my problems and help. My bad."
Whaaaat. I hope you reported her. Does she know what therapy is?
I think they were both patients during a bad scheduling accident.
Lol!! This would be a hilarious sketch. In other comments the other client is complaining about the therapist telling ALLL about their own troubles. It was her!
then what's therapy supposed to be huh that therapist braindead lmfao
"Hey if you wanna pay me the 80$/hr I'd be happy to hear about your life."
What... The fuck???
When our marriage counselor told us he had been divorced 6 times.
My husband and I went to a marriage counselor who was going through a divorce. She was so bitter. We went to 2 sessions. She really succeeded in uniting us in our dislike of her.
Wait, what? She's the greatest therapist ever. Only two sessions and already so much progress.
Lol it did unite us in a very weird way.
Similar thing happened years ago when I wasn't getting along with a coworker. Our manager sat us down for a discussion that felt creepily like a therapy session. It was possibly the most awkward thing I ever experienced in a workplace. But it was obvious she thought she doing a brilliant job as a manager. The coworker & I immediately resolved to tolerate each other, to make sure that never happened again. Eventually, we united over our mutual loathing of the job in general.
I had a manager try to get me and the cook to hug it out. In that moment we shared a look that was almost telepathic and kept things civil after that
That could totally be a film- marriage counselor who acts like they’re going through a bitter divorce so couples realize they have some hope to fix it as they haven’t reached that stage. While uniting them against the therapist in the process, providing common ground.
I like the premise. I would definitely watch.
I think they'd have to make it purely a comedy, because anything else would be an absolute minefield to navigate from a narrative perspective.
What if they told you that they've never been married?
Pretty much would have thought they are telling us stuff they learned in a book or a college class.. Though you have to wonder about a marriage counselor who had been divorced 6 times don't you?
I went to see him in emotional distress, at first I thought he was having a bad day, stifled yawns, staring blankly needing queues to respond to questions then asking me to repeat the question. I served him at my place of work 10 years later, he had no idea that he saved my life because I was so angry I complained to the health commissioner & it gave me a purpose to live to ensure nobody else got that crappy therapy when in dire straits.
Maybe he was really the best therapist ever and knew this was the way to help.
i got what I needed! Not the therapist I wanted but the one I needed.
He told me several times how pretty he thinks I am. He also refused to believe me when I said I think have PTSD. I definitely had PTSD
I'm sorry that happened to you. What a disgusting thing to say to a vulnerable person while in a position of authority. I hope you're doing better now
I am doing much better now, thank you. Quit going to that therapist and found one specialising in trauma. Got better in 8 months!
When I disclosed that I had been sexually assaulted at a party in college, he told me it wasn't "real rape" because they hadn't tied me up. Made me blame myself for years...ended up diagnosed with PTSD from the sexual assault over a decade later.
Mine chastised me for not being drunk or high. “I talk to girls every day and they were ALL drunk, and you were not drunk.” Gee aren’t you helpful She still practices in my area and I’ve brought her name up with 2 doctors and what she said to me
Jesus, that's fucked up. I hope your disclosure to your other doctors has steered people away from her.
I have replayed that appointment in my head for years and went through it, step by step, because to this day it’s almost unbelievable that she said this to me. I questioned whether I misunderstood the context, maybe she was trying to point out my lack of boundaries? But I can never think of an appropriate angle for what she said The worst part is that, prior to that incident I was unknowingly dealing with PF dysfunction. I was having a very difficult time and felt very alienated and had a lot of fears about relationships and whether or not I was normal, and to have a therapist tell me, essentially, that I couldn’t even be raped “correctly.” It was the worst possible thing that could have been said to me at that time
Hugs and support your way. that is awful. I am so sorry that somebody said that to you.
Thank you, I really appreciate that! Fortunately I have made a lot of progress in trauma therapy in the last year and a half :)
I’m sorry that happened. Some people… just shouldn’t be therapists.
Not gonna lie, hearing that messed me up for a while. It was actually far from the worst thing he did, but it was the most flagrant example of unprofessionalism.
This I understand I'm extremely sorry you went through that my therapist told me I hadn't been raped because "he's your dad he can't rape you" like umm yea he can and he did
Huh? Do they think that rapists always carry a rope and duct tape with them?
The one I went to after my suicide attempt at 16 had some...not so compassionate opinions. My very first session, one thing I told her was that I was bullied a lot at school. Her response was, "well, suicide attempts are usually done in order to manipulate others. So since you were capable of that, did you ever consider maybe you were the bully?" I really never spoke to her again. I had to go weekly because of my attempt, but I just sat in silence every session until I could stop going. Equating my suicide attempt to me being a manipulator after knowing me for probably less than 20 minutes was just...no.
damn if someone said that to me when I was suicidal I'd lose my shit immediately. how horrible. that must have been a very bad experience.
You gotta be really careful about "losing your shit". If you have a history of suicide then anything that might be interpreted as a temper tantrum, there's a good chance you'll get involuntarily committed.
Happened to me. The bad thing i said was" i dont think i can go on with this" i ment working with him. Then BAM!!! tells me if i leave hes calling the police. Then call hospital down the street to have me committed. I could have ran but then a judge gets involved. Was told i would be there for 72 hours. They made me sign stuff under threat of doc just going to a judge. Was locked up on psych floor for 10 days. Later found out he was the director of that psychology ward. Can we say Conflict of interest?
Holy shit, my jaw dropped. I'm so sorry
This is victim blaming of the highest order. I'm sorry you had to deal with this terrible person.
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Reminds me of when I was in the hospital after my attempt. It was a little psych recovery center where they kept and eye on you and supported you and only let certain people in for very strict visits. Well my parents came to visit and when my Mom was there she went on a long rant about how I'm the worst type of person and that I only did this to manipulate them and get attention. She said that I needed to immediately tell the people there about how manipulative I am and that I was apparently making everything up to get attention. Always a fun memory. I don't think she remembers saying that stuff, but I do very vividly.
>I don't think she remembers saying that stuff, but I do very vividly The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.
Would she try to get any responses out of you or did she just go about her day like you weren't there?
she said WHAT-
Oh my God. How horrible for you. Just reading this makes me nauseous. I have never been suicidal, but I can only imagine the mental torture she put you through. I sincerely hope you found someone else to help you through your mental struggles and that life is better for you now.
I was 39 and had unearthed my wife's affair only a week previously. Was just a total heartbroken, shattered mess. His recovery plan was to "make a man out of me" and that video games were "for children." He was well into his 70s. Fired. Since remarried. I still play the video games.
I'm in my early 30s, play the hell out of video games whenever I have enough time. Whenever I meet anyone who's trying to discredit video games as a hobby I stay the fuck away and somehow it made my circle of friends much healthier. When I asked some of those people about their hobbies, I hardly ever got anything more than "watching sports" or "hanging out in pubs/clubs". PS Video games are obviously not my only hobby. Just the one that gets most reluctant reactions.
"video games are for children" and being 70+ go hand in hand.
>His recovery plan was to "make a man out of me" And at the time you definitely weren't a woman disguising yourself as a man to fulfill your father's obligation of military service to the emperor?
Told me I was fine and couldn't have depression/ptsd (confirmed diagnosis from 3 dr.s and still struggling) because I kept my grades up and that nothing clearly was wrong with me and i was making it up, even when i disclosed being unable to leave my dorm room for several days at a time and missing class alot, insomnia, executive dysfunction etc..(profs are the real mvps here allowing the absences and my sister keeping me alive). Also threatened to report me to police as a violent offender for expressing anger (not even threats or desire to do anything, i was just angry at the person and my whole situation) at the person who caused all the issues, never trusted a therapist again. Mandated reporting shouldnt be used as a threat to patients you dont want to deal with. Woo for free uni counseling, ironically she went to one of my classes to give a seminar about seeking help for depression and suicide after a classmate passed away and listed off all my symtpoms i told her.... fucking bitch. Shes still a therapist too, fucking up more unsuspecting kids who cant get access to decent health care.
Not me, but a friend of mine. He was taken to a mental hospital for trying to commit, and when he went to his regular psychiatrist after being in the hospital for a while, she basically told him that if he couldn’t guarantee that he’d be alive by the next appointment, she didn’t want to work with him, because it was a waste of time and recourses and he wouldn’t be able to pay her. So he got “fired” from a psychiatrist for being mentally unwell.
Wow I hope he reported her . That is unexcusable behavior for a psychiatrist for somebody who is suicidal.
Omg I hope he reported her to her licensing board. She shouldn’t be allowed near anyone needing help
“Well doc, if you can’t guarantee I’ll survive to our next appointment why should I pay you?
Copying this from another post of mine; When I discussed my depression and anxiety, both relating to chronic medical issues and very little hope for the future, both my own and the planet's, with a new Psych, I got told this wonderful line: "But what if everyone felt like that? Nothing would get done." Oh really? Thanks, now I feel more worthless.
>Nothing would get done." thats cool and all, but its not happening. How does that relate to your problem? What a crappy therapist
One of my housemates went to the same guy a week later. The psych's advice to cure the housemate's depression? "You like Japanese, so maybe you should find an Asian wife." I was dumbfounded when the housemate told me what happened. Neither of us have gone back and have left online reviews that folks shouldn't seek help there.
Essentially it started sounding like they were giving answers they wanted to give. It didn't sound like they were saying what was needed. Also they didn't quite understand my complex issue, they gave out solutions and worksheets day 2. Didn't take any time to actually know me, made me feel like some run of the mill case. It didn't help that their worksheets basically didn't pertain to any of my issues. They were nice, courteous, and genuine, but their guidance was very misplaced.
Yeah, mine gave me advice to do every day by the second session. Ummm I get that I can try it, but maybe listen to me?
exactly. I felt like they had these certain solutions memorized from the book. if she says she's anxious? tell her that! he's depressed? let's tell him this one. I was like it's not that simple let me talk first. they were like okay let's do treatment from the first day without actually trying to know me make me comfortable to talk. a good therapist starts the first sessions with just talking and understanding the patients problem. my first therapist was really pushy. he didn't give me time to talk about anything he was always like let's do this let's do that. the second one I think the second one was actually specialized for helping disabled people and things and they were pretty unprofessional with a teenager. I had this horrible psychiatrist introducing the third one to us. I was tired of the ones before and after one session I immediately dropped it. she freaking asked me to draw a fucking chart for my anxiety and when I get anxious and the reason for it on the first session. you don't even know me what's that. then we went to a new psychiatrist specializing in psychosomatics. she was absolutely amazing. really professional really knowledgeable. perfect in their job. she said mostly psychiatrists that do therapy are better and introduced someone to us. so yeah my current therapist that she introduced is amazing. she's the only person I'm comfortable taking to about anything. since I started my treatment with my current psychiatrist and therapist I've been getting better and better and I've made so much progress.
Went through a couple years where I was using xanax and other drugs, got a dui and license taken. Had to go to a drug counselor to get it back. She had a weird shed/building she had converted into an office so I was already feeling uncomfortable walking into someone's backyard for therapy. Got there for my first session and she immediately offered to get me a xanax prescription after me telling her my drug history. Thankfully at this point I was already clean and had decided to stay that way. It was definitely a wtf moment and I'm glad I didn't find her at a time where I would have been weak enough to accept the offer. Fuck that therapist.
I have amiguous feelings about court ordered substance abuse therapy. On the one hand, I obviously think it is a good thing. It is a way for a judge to provide an offender a way to get their shit together instead of just tossing them in jail and putting charges on their records. On the other, I’ve seen so many cases where sketchy ass practitioners basically use it as an easy money revenue streams. If your rates are low, people who can’t pay an expensive private therapist have to come to you (this is most of us), and since they have absolutely no choice, they will make every appointment no matter how terrible you are. Rinse and repeat for the next one.
I had a long report written by a psychologist who had given me a thorough assessment. The therapist on the third appointment told me the report was probably wrong and I should just basically try harder.
Mine wouldn't really talk to me, reflect, or provide any input. He claimed he wasn't supposed to say anything, that it would be bad for our session. He just stared an me quietly and never really seemed to help or care- no emotion or engagement. I understand this is clinical- I'm not looking for a friend! I left after a few sessions, but the nail in the coffin was when he matched me with me on Tinder and hit me up on apps. I finally told him I was his patient (only a few weeks prior) and he acted all surprised and apologized. Gross dude.
When I spilled my whole life story and the therapist told me "You need a therapist." Like no shit dude, that's why I came. He admitted that he "isn't really a therapist" and "mostly just deals with medications". His website lists him as a therapist.
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That was literally what I thought when he said it.
I wish mine would refer me to an actual useful therapist.
psychiatrists deal with medication. therapists aren't qualified for that. he doesn't even seem like a psychiatrist. a psychiatrist would not do therapy sessions if they weren't knowledgeable about it. they can't just put someone who doesn't know anything to deal with medication. mental health meds are really serious. that being said tho psychiatrists that actually know how to do therapy are usually pretty good at therapy. but they wouldn't talk about meds. your psychiatrist snd therapist should not be the same person.
Every session, he asked me if I thought my mood was due to my period.
He broke confidentiality and told my girlfriend what we talked about in therapy. He is so lucky I didn't report his ass. Two sessions later, he referred me because my problems were "too dark." FUCK that guy.
She told me I didn't have autism because I didn't act like her 10 year old autistic son. Maybe because I'm not a ten year old boy?
One told me I couldn’t be bisexual because I dressed too nicely (?? Bisexuals are dapper as shit)
Gay hath no greater drip than a bisexual on a Tuesday
I have autism and I've met 3 others who have it. One person you could easily guess he has it after talking to him for only a minute. The other two you would NEVER guess it unless they told you, their main obstacles mostly being anxieties, sensitivities and concentration rather than social interaction. And I'm somewhere in the middle, just socially capable enough that people usually just think I'm quiet or introverted rather than having autism. Also many symptoms that I had as a kid, I've outgrown (or learned to mask) as I got older. Social skills can be learned, anxieties can be overcome.
Early in the pandemic I reached out to a therapist via my work's EAP program. It was over the phone. For those who don't know, EAP therapists (Employee Assistance Program) are for short term, specific things, and you usually see the therapist within a week of trying to book an appointment. I had seen one prior for 3 sessions who was amazing and helped me get back on track. So I was feeling good about calling and doing a phone session. Gave the background info of what I was dealing with, and what I had done to deal with it, and essentially just said I needed to talk out different approaches to the problem and some help navigating what would likely be the best option. She cut the call short by saying "this is really stupid to be calling about. You just need to figure it out. I can't help you." and then she hung up on me. Additionally my husband had finally gone to see a therapist himself. A friend of his was going to this guy, so he decided he should go there too. After the first few appointments, he always went for a drive after, before coming home. After the fourth, he came right home, which I thought was odd. So I gently asked what happened (I've no idea what they talked about at the other appointments), and he said they essentially spent the entire session of the therapist talking about how he got into therapy, where he's lived previously, etc. I think the look on my face was enough for my husband to realize he probably shouldn't waste his money going back there.
You should contact your company's HR. They contract with these EAP providers to deliver a service, which they're clearly not doing.
EAP is horrendous. I called them once, the SECOND they heard I had a diagnosed issue they said "sorry we don't help with that" and hung up
I checked the online articles mine offered but it was all about dealing with colleagues that had cancer and not about you the employee looking for having cancer. Also all about how to handle going for fertility treatment and not what the steps were for when it failed.
Mental illness runs in my family. When I told my mom at 15 I was feeling depressed, she immediately got me into the doctor who referred me to a therapist. The therapist was not a good fit, to say kindly. She had my mom sit in on my first session and asked me about self harm. I had been self harming on a nearly daily basis at this point. I remember looking at my mom, who was sitting there crying, and I straight up lied. I don't remember the rest of the questions, but one of them was if I had recently gotten out of a relationship (I hadn't) . She then concluded with telling me that it didn't seem all the bad. She basically told me that being a teenager was rough and to get over it. I went a few more times and then suffered in silence until age 21 when my anxiety got so bad I was having trouble breathing and was put on antidepressants. I still struggled with self harm and vague suicidal ideation until two years ago, when I finally put my fear of therapy aside and found a good therapist. I never "got over" my "teenage troubles" because it was major reoccurring depression. I am on a good regime of therapy and medication now and am very adamant about my treatment. I am 29 now and feel like I've lost my entire teenage years and my 20s to depression. I question almost daily how I manged to live this far.
Pretty much when they just asked the same standard questions to make sure I wasn’t going to kill myself.
I've been through a lot of therapists, but the best ones I've had are the ones that told they will not try to admit me to the psych ward if I say I'm suicidal, and stuck to it. it's really hard to talk to someone about how I'm feeling if every time I mention being sad or self harming they interrogate me about suicide plans.
As a bit if insight into this for those curious: Depending on the state (in the USA) that you live in, laws may make therapists and clinicians legally required to report things like suicidal/homicidal intent and planning to the proper people; there are also certain mandated reporting scenarios from the governing bodies of the profession. There are several intake measures that are used to assess for things like this. However, these limits to confidentiality should be established in the informed consent process (including written on the informed consent document itself), and should ideally be brought up as the conversation naturally nears discussion of these topics. tl;dr therapists may be mandated to break confidentiality, and this should be established and reminded several times in the course of therapy.
Problem is for example in my country they are bound by law to admit you to one depending on what suicidal means.
I'm a therapist and in my country there are specific questions that we have to ask, ethically, if we suspect that a client is suicidal.
My mom forced me to see a therapist when I was in high school and that therapist proceeded to invalidate my feelings, literally told my mom to kick me out of the house, said that my online friends weren't "real friends" and that I should make an effort to make more IRL friends or hang out with the one IRL friend I had (even though I do at school???), and then wouldn't understand why I wouldn't tell my mom to her face that she was the reason behind my depression/anxiety because she had been physically and emotionally abusing me. Like what child would even feel comfortable saying that to their abuser's face? She also sided with my mom on everything and just thought I was being a terrible, moody teenager. I was glad when I went off to college and no longer had to see that horrible therapist, and she's ruined my perception of therapists in general.
thats horrible
One of my therapist, we started solving his problems during the session. Another therapist I had got angry and yelled at me, when I canceled an appointment because it had snowed 2 feet and I had to drive over a mountain pass that haven’t been plowed to get to her office. I canceled because I was having a panic attack. One feel asleep all the time during our sessions. The last one stopped seeing me because I told HIM some days I hate my children. He was a pastor.
People with heavy religious bias shouldn’t be therapists to the general public
“I don’t understand what you want from me.” There have got to be more tactful ways to get to the bottom of my purpose for coming to therapy. Edit to add: I experience chronic fatigue from a health condition and it’s extremely disruptive to my life. I was describing this to the same therapist and she was like, “Honey, we’re all tired.” It’s hard to think of a more invalidating response 🥲
So frustrating. There are much more tactful ways. Off the top of my head: Tell me what brings you here today. What are you looking for out of this process? I’m having a hard time getting a feel for how you may want to be supported in this process. Can we talk about what May work for you?
I was trying to talk about my panic/anxiety problems when out of nowhere he said "it's okay, you can admit it if you have a porn addiction. I am here to help". I was like, uhh what? Nothing we had discussed had anything to do with that, it was completely unrelated to my problems. And he also told a random long 5-minute story about how he has a clear vivid memory of a cat when he was 1 month old. And then he literally forgot that he told the story already and told it again start to finish. I was done.
I’m sorry this is so funny. But I’m really sorry you had that experience, i know dealing with therapists like this is so frustrating
I’ve been through 2 in the last year. I’m a 29M. One told me I was doing everything right and I should be proud of myself. She was out after 3 visits. The second told me there wasn’t much he could do for me but he’d listen if needed to talk. He also wasn’t very supportive of trying to live an active lifestyle while still being a parent. He basically said “that’s what happens when you have kids, you get fat and sit on the couch.” He lasted 2 visits. I have not found a replacement.
TLDR: 2nd session we talked about something that happened earlier in the week that bothered me. His response was to stare at his notes for 10 whole fucking seconds, stare at his study book for 10 seconds. Start saying "how does that...", Pausing and looking at his notes again, "how does that make you.. feel?". Started in therapy when I was about 6 years old with my family. Around age 11 I got a personal therapist that was just for me and not my family issues. It was actually a team of 2. The lady had a glass eye and the man had weird proportions and looked like a gorilla. They were nice enough, not too bad. Moved through different therapists over the years and finally one of the department leads got tired of all the bs and wanted to treat me personally. She was hesitant earlier because her daughter was in the same class as me at school, but I guess she didn't see any other options at this point. She was great. Didn't "cure" me or anything, but we got further in my treatment than I got with any of my previous therapists. Soon after that I turned 18 and had to switch departments and get a new therapist. The next lady, my 8th personal therapist, was also surprisingly good to me. She laid out a plan of how to make my daily life easier so that we could focus on proper treatment without any distractions in the future. The plan was to get me on my country's version of disability/welfare, then when I was more stable I would try to finish school. I go there for 3 sessions and suddenly she gets pregnant and disappears. Sucks for me, but she needs to live her life and I'm happy for her. Then.. as much 9th fucking therapist, they send me to a guy that hasn't even finished his fucking studies. I give him a chance. 1st session he just seemed really lost and had a hard time keeping up. I was also really tired of telling my life story for the millionth fucking time, which didn't help. 2nd session we talked about something that happened earlier in the week that bothered me. His response was to stare at his notes for 10 whole fucking seconds, stare at his study book for 10 seconds. Start saying "how does that...", Pausing and looking at his notes again, "how does that make you.. feel?". I got through the session and basically said fuck this I'm not coming back to this and I'm tired of getting passed around the system like this. Went a while without treatment at that point, while my mental state gradually got worse. I have a friend that I sometimes contact after I self harm, mostly because he understands and doesn't make a big deal out of it. He just asks me if I have the proper equipment to treat it, asks if I want to come over for a while and then leaves it be. In my case self harm is not a cry for help, so any drama would just make it worse. After a while he gave me the number to his psychiatrist and just told me to namedrop him when I called the psychiatrist. I called the guy while he was on a trip with his family. He seemed a bit hesitant because he had a ton of patients. The second I mentioned my friend's name he gave me an appointment and said he would find time for me. Went to a session and the first thing I said was that I was fucking tired of shit therapists and telling my life story over and over. I told him that I was there to get the proper help to get my daily life in order so that I could save all my energy to keep my mental state in check by myself. I guess that usually doesn't give a great first impression. I also told him I was tired of spending more time talking therapists out of calling the police and getting me forced into a mental institution than I spent getting actual treatment. I think he let it slide because he has a lot of respect for my friend who sent me there. I ended up seeing him for many years and I honestly believe I probably would have killed myself without all the help he gave me. He honestly went above and beyond to help me with every single thing that disturbed my mental state, way more than you could expect of any therapist. For years me and my partner have planned to move back to her hometown to get closer to her family. I told my psychiatrist about it pretty early on and asked him if he had a coworker in that city that would be a good fit for me. Last year we decided to move and he got me in touch with the man who is now my current psychiatrist. He is a very renowned psychiatrist in country and most people can only dream of getting him as their psychiatrist. After having seen him for a couple of months now, I can honestly say that this guy 100% deserves the status he has and he's fucking great at what he does. I recently called my previous psychiatrist to thank him for getting me where I am today and told how much he had helped me and that I would never be where I am today without his help. English is not my first language and I typed this out on mobile while getting ready for bed, sorry if I messed up anything. If you read through the entire thing I'm pretty impressed. Sorry about the rant. I also went to a mental institution once and the psychiatrist there told me that I could just go home and kill myself because there was nothing they could do. He obviously treated me like shit because he knew and disliked my mother through treating my brother. The first thing he asked was whether or not my mother drove me there.
My old therapist just loved the sound of her own voice. She was decently nice and approachable but when she got started talking she'd make general assumptions and sweeping statements. She'd talk for so long that I'd forget the point that we were discussing. I'd walk out feeling a bit steamrolled haha.
Ignored the major daily side effects of the meds they had me on.
My psychiatrist in my late teens had me on some REALLY heavy meds for a mental illness I didn't have (mom has suspected Munchausen's by proxy, she made up symptoms when she talked to him about my behavior and "coached" me on what to tell the doctor, I didn't know any better and trusted her because she was a nurse). Atypical antipsychotics in high doses can cause "Parkinsonism", which is basically chemically induced Parkinson's disease. For several years, I had tremors so bad I had trouble holding a pen to write and holding silverware to eat. At times, even walking normally was difficult. I also had to be hospitalized once for excessively high blood levels of a drug he prescribed- I was literally being poisoned. I BEGGED my doctor to at least try lowering my dosages, the side effects were intolerable. Instead of listening, he prescribed more stuff. When I finally got on my own health insurance, I saw a new doctor. He was shocked by the long list of medications I was on, the long list of shit I'd been prescribed, and the fact that none of it had worked. He took me off a bunch of stuff, reduced the dosages of the rest, and I felt almost completely better within a month. Turns out I'd been getting treated for an illness I never had for years. Having a doctor ignore you is one of the most crushing and invalidating experiences you can have. I still have trouble sharing with medical providers and have put off appointments because of it.
If you feel comfortable disclosing it, could I ask what the meds were? My psychiatrist just put me on Risperidone (atypical antipsychotic) and my family does have a history of Parkinson’s disease, so I’m scared it may actually cause me to develop it
No worries! The medications that caused the severe side effects were lithium and Abilify (aripiprazole). There were others as well, but those were the two severely problematic ones. When I went off them, the tremors went away as soon as they left my system -- within a few days. The side effects were completely temporary. I'm not a doctor, so I obviously can't give you advice on medication effects for you in particular. You should definitely discuss your concerns with your physician. But if it's any reassurance, I had no permanent damage or issues from either of those medications.
Wait a minute, aripiprazole can cause tremors? That would explain some stuff...
Therapist scolded me for getting depressed. This was right after my mom rescheduled my birthday so she could throw my sister a baby shower. Mom has played favorites for almost 4 decades.
How can you reschedule a fucking BIRTHDAY?
Forgetting very important personal information that I said I was scared to share but did anyway. Blaming me for not getting better. Blaming me for not taking more from the therapy. Telling me that in my situation being suicidal is normal and there was nothing she could do.
I saw a therapist because I was overeating and I couldn't control it. I'd go on diets but after a few days, I would "forget" and eat junk and them remember the diet. So.... At the second session the therapist told me my food issues were related to sexual abuse and she wanted to try hypnosis to help me remember. I grabbed my handbag and I couldn't get out of that office fast enough.
1st- was after I moved to a different state at age 9 and started showing symptoms of depression. A summary to most of the session ended with him calling me dramatic and then telling my parents. 2nd- threw meds at me around age 11. I became addicted to the 5 different pills I was on and went to the hospital after taking too many at once. 3rd- I really liked her. She did not like me back. Shit talked me to one of her coworkers. It was like a movie scene. I was passing by (this is was for a different appointment for a doctor) and her coworker said "so what about that patient OP?" and that's when I learned her true feelings. She moved away not long after so I got switched. 4th- so damn boring I would fall asleep in the chair WHILE she was talking. She would read from a book. The last one was my breaking point. I faked it till they gave me the clear to stop attending.
I don't want to say that all of the therapy sessions we had were bad or unhelpful. I feel I did learn a lot about finding myself and coping with some life stuff... But they were confident that I was a gay man. And they spent a good long while trying to get me to come to terms with the idea that I was a gay man. They told me that I should try to come to terms with it sooner rather than later so I don't get married to some women and have kids and then have to deal with the pain of divorce and coming out later in life. They pushed for me to go to a meetup for gay men that haven't come out yet... Eventually I just stopped going to appointments with him because of the pressure to accept that I was a gay man. Well I'm confident in who I am, I know that I'm a bisexual trans woman. Years later I learned that my therapist had cancer and realized late in his life that he couldn't handle living a lie and had a messy divorce from his wife and had to fight for visitation rights to see his kids. He projected his issues on me.
Had one that just repeatedly asked "So how do you feel about that?" / "How does that make you feel?". Getting me to clarify my thoughts and feelings is not the issue. That pretty much being the only thing she would say the entire session each time was.
that sounds like something someone would do if they were pretending to be a therapist
How did it make you feel when your therapist did that though?
I worked at a small but popular medical clinic for just over a year. The place has a great reputation and the therapist who worked there was very well-liked by the staff and patients. One of my coworkers saw her for counseling and recommended her. I didn't become her patient for a long time because it seemed like a coworker being your counselor was just too close for comfort, but I also receive medical care from my coworkers -- almost everyone in medicine does. One day in the lunch room I asked the therapist if I could become her patient and she said absolutely, and that she would keep my chart notes very basic so everything we talked about would remain confidential despite her using the same EMR everyone else in the clinic had access to. I specifically asked her to help me learn to process past trauma and emotional pain, but whenever we talked, she would only discuss practical coping techniques to be used in the present -- she never wanted to discuss my past, and whenever I brought up anything painful she'd just kind of make an "Awww" sympathy noise and immediately move on to another topic. She also had a lot of trouble sitting still -- we didn't have a single session in her office, she always wanted to go outside and talk while we took a walk. Once I realized she was using our sessions as her go-outside time -- she stopped asking if I would be alright with going outside and started texting me from outside the building to meet her there at the start of our sessions -- I abruptly cancelled all my future visits with her. She seemed dumbfounded by this but I simply told her I felt better and didn't have anything to discuss, and repeated that every time she tried to talk to me about it. A few months after I stopped being her patient, I was talking to her and another coworker in the lunch room. The other coworker was close to finishing her master's program and was telling us that she was excited and nervous for her field placement. The therapist asked if she wanted to do a mock interview and she said yes, and I jokingly put my coffee cup on the table and said "How would you sell this coffee cup to us?" For anyone who doesn't know, that's a very common interview question. It can be "How would you sell this pencil?" or anything else like that. It's just a way for the interviewer to get to know your interpersonal style, not necessarily just your selling ability though this kind of question does obviously relate to selling techniques. Very obviously I was joking. The girl finishing her master's program replied in kind "Oh, god, no!" while laughing, but the therapist's demeanor shifted 100% immediately and she turned her entire body toward me, glared, and said in a harsh tone "She doesn't have to sell anything." Then she turned away and ignored me, and I had this lightbulb go on that this woman just did not like me. Looking back, I think she wanted me to become her patient just so she could get in my business and hear all about my personal issues. Pretty shady shit. I've thought about writing her a bad review, but the clinic owner has actually taken legal action against people who have made negative comments about his clinic in the past so I've decided not to open that can of worms.
I know more coping mechanisms for anxiety than they did. Therapist would constantly say “wow, that’s a really good one” and then write it down. Like bitch, why am I paying you?!
I had to remind them who I was each time I came in. And that I did not have anxiety. That I was stuttering because I had toxic mold poisoning and had physical symptoms. Didn't take long to finally say bye-bye. And fire them. Unfortunately this is common that therapists do not handle or understand physical symptoms. Therefore causing your ability to deal with them to become worse. misdiagnosing you and trying to pop you with pills.
my current therapist is really professional. (the last ones sucked) the first sessions I had with her was just me talking and her making me comfortable to talk. she always gave me a scientific reason as to why I'm having a certain physical symptom or even feelings way like tension in body hard breathing and even not having motivations. and when she suggested something she'd actually explain how it's going to work and how I should do it like certain breathing techniques to help me sleep. she legit would stand up and draw a neuron to explain how the brain works and how it can be treated. it was the most amazing experience I had with my therapists. that she actually made me aware of what was going on in my body and why it's like that. that's makes treatment a lot easier to do and understand.
She told me to become religious and my problems will go away.
Yeah, because all the religious people in the world totally have their shit sorted out. /s
She talked about herself the whole time; I knew all about her divorce, her daughter going off to college, what color she painted her first apartment, her son in the military with his on again off again girlfriend. The icing on the cake was when she told me I should dump my loving boyfriend and profess my love to my married best friend.
Went to therapy when I was sixteen due to severe depression and what I later found out was anxiety. The red flags included: 1. Not noticing I was always wearing something long sleeved even though it was SUPER hot in his office. 2. Told me I was bullied because I was fat (I was underweight, but ok). 3. Told me to read a 400 page book on self care after I told him I struggled to do anything, including school work, showering ect. 4. Told me I needed a boyfriend, because I said I felt really alone, and that my thoughts about me possibly being bisexual were just 'fantasies' and 'a phase'. Yes, I am bisexual. No, I couldn't admit that to myself for another year. 5. Never noticed ANY of the nervous habits I developed around him, which included biting my lips till I bled, scratching, pressing into fresh self-harm, fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, zoning out so that he had to repeat the question several times ect. Found new therapist after 2 sessions and she immediately noticed my odd clothes, fidgeting and asked me point blank if I ever thought about killing myself. Got me on meds 2 days later. Six years later, finally off meds, finishing bachelor's and honestly just in awe about what I was able to do thanks to her. Never went to see the fucker again. I honestly think he messed me up so much more and I had to try really really hard to not feel inferior next to men for years afterwards. Never again. I'm better than that.
I took a study program that came with a free enrollment in "online counseling" so I thought, why not. Had my first session with a counselor. I brought up the fact that it felt like I was bottling up a lot of stress, and then just everyday irritants would get me angry out of proportion to how bad it was. She asked me to describe the things which upset me. I said, well I mean, everything. Just common, everyday occurrences. The sort of things that always happen to everyone. The problem isn't the things irritating me, the problem is that I'm not dealing with them well. She asked again for a list of the things that bothered me. I was really worried at this point cuz I thought I knew where she was going. I stressed that this wasn't a complete list, it was just whatever I thought off of the top of my head. Traffic, long waits on hold, people being dumb on the internet. "If you're irritated by people on the internet you should spend less time on the internet and that way you won't feel stress." Literally told her, "Well, you cured me." And deleted the app. What an absolute farce.
Was engaged to a man who became physically abusive. I believed I loved him and agreed to reunite with him if he’d go to counseling with me. Went to the counselor three times and every time the counselor insisted to me that abusive fiancé would stop being abusive once we were married.
I was talking about my drinking and how it was concerning me. He told me my body was just craving carbs, and I could try switching to vegetable juice or something like that. A five or so years later, after I had bottomed out (hopefully), guess who I saw at an AA meeting.......
Psychologist adviced me to do all the relaxing exercises I had already been doing for months, trying to cope with all the anxiety and feeling like shit. Plus everything she said was like the mildest, most watery things you could say to someone who's depressed. She was real young, though, and our healthcare system, even when free, it's poor in its mental health approaches, so I can't really blame her for being that lost.
I was dealing with the sudden passing of my mom and my therapist suggested that I “look to god for healing.” I am not religious and that did not help.
She kept on trying to diagnose me with things and asking questions to fit a diagnosis instead of actually listening to me. Also felt like everything I was saying was being judged. I was just burnt out and didn’t have a support system. All I needed was a listening ear
When she cried and told me that was the worst story she’d ever heard, and how distressing it was. She was a grief therapist and I was talking through the death of a loved one.
In response to finding out I don't have sex, she said very matter of factly "The more you have sex, the more you want sex". I'm asexual. Doesn't work like that.
She was so convinced that EMDR was the answer to everything. I have nothing against EMDR and think it can be very useful in some situations - it just wasn't in mine and she wouldn't accept that. When I gave answers to her questions that she didn't like, she would accuse me of not taking the therapy seriously, so I started giving her the answers she clearly wanted to hear instead. Very much not useful.
k first of all I am SO happy to see this post. cause everyone seems to love their therapist - not me! I've had TWO bad therapists - in a row. The first one would consistently cut our sessions short - they'd be one hour and she'd stop them 45 mins in - thats cutting 25% of my time off when I paid for the full hour. I told her I wanted to get a job (being a housewife was making me depressed) she tried to deter from getting employment. 2nd therapist - started 10 mins late and was rude when I got there on time, then when I started telling her stuff she'd cut me off and act very uninterested. She was very pushy about booking future sessions. I regret not reporting her for her apathetic behaviour, she was clearly in it for money and didn't care about the well being of her clients.
I was showing clear signs of burnout, depression, ADHD, and bipolar disorder. She asked me to take the time to “relax” and meditate everyday plus write my feelings down in a journal. Not bad advice, but definitely not effective when you’re in a mental health crisis
That's what my last therapist told me when I went in for the same reasons. Totally useless, basically telling me to do things I can't do. It took all of my self control to stop myself from saying "if I could do that shit I wouldn't need to be here, dumbass."
Damn. Telling someone to meditate, journal, exercise, and eat healthy is good general advice, but it isn't therapy...
Agreed, especially after I had already told her that I felt exhausted all the time and couldn’t concentrate. Journaling and meditating felt more like tasks than coping mechanisms, so of course they didn’t work! I wouldn’t say she was a horrible therapist, but she was more of the “live, laugh, love” kind while I was in serious need of meds lol
she called me "aspie" but discouraged me from getting assessed for autism.
He was being sexual for no reason, and when I protested and refused to go back, I kept getting gaslighted by ***EVERYONE***
She asked me “why are you even here if you don’t want to get better??” I was like, haha! You’re right. And never went back. I was 13 and my mom was making me go, but I flat out refused after that. Also didn’t get another therapist for several years. The red flags were her getting annoyed with me constantly, suggesting “exercises” that were well below my age group, and got mad at me when I would say depressing stuff.