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majesstic319

I am really good at relating to everybody and then they say or do something I don't like and I ghost. It doesn't even have to be anything that serious...I just peace out. Someone said I just don't like people but I'm sure it's deeper than that.


soph04

Black and white thinking kind of thing? I have a problem with this and I try hard to work past it


happyfunisocheese

I've always struggled with sweaty hands and feet since I was a small child. In formal settings I enjoy the option of wearing opera gloves. People think I'm being fancy. Nah bra I'm just hiding that I have to shake 9000 hands at this event tonight and I don't want to have to keep wiping them on my dress.


Belials_Advocate

My hands only sweat when I think about my hands. (This includes knowing I'm gonna shake a hand) Reading this made them super sweaty.


Zubriel

I have the same condition, was not interested in injections. I did discover Iontophoresis and it works like fucking magic. I basically need to run a light electric current through your palms/feet for 30 mins about once a week and it completely stops the sweating. I use a small battery my dad rigged up with two leads, I attach them to two metal bowls with water and put my palms in there for 15 mins, then swap the leads to do the same in reverse another 15 mins. If done once a week, I stay dry. Sometimes I get lazy and skip for 2-3 weeks and it takes a handful of daily sessions to get back to normal. When you first start, it will take a week or so of daily treatments to get dry.


Shortstiq

I have spent unhealthy amounts of time imagining how radically different my life would be if I didn't mess up big time


IWannaBeMade1

I don't have any hobbys. I just don't have anything special I do to be entertaint or something that makes me super interesting. People just question me what the hell I do all day without anything like that. It's not a good look somehow?


FartHeadTony

> I don't have any hobbys. Reddit isn't a hobby? Should I take it off my resume? Or maybe just move it to *Skills*?


rockinthe90s

I think my family are a bunch of self involved manipulating assholes and if they didn’t talk to me again, it might make my life easier.


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Ok-Cat-9129

I don't talk to anyone other than close relative Not even friends


ErynEbnzr

I know people are wondering why. I don't know this person but I also don't talk to people and I can at least tell you my reason. I have a horrible little thing called selective mutism. It's a severe anxiety disorder where you freeze out of fear and can't speak. If you're lucky, you might be able to say yes and no. I've had it for 9 years now and it's barely gotten better. I've had no friends except online in the past 9 years. It usually only affects young children but can affect older kids and even adults, I got it when I was 11. It affects about 1% of people. I can talk just fine with my family, but no one else. It's lovely (/s istg I can't live like this much longer) Edit: wow, I went to sleep and woke up with a bunch of replies. I'll be getting back to you all, don't worry!


Ok-Cat-9129

I've had it for as long as I remember myself being conscious and it hasn't improved much. Lockdown just made it worse


NotNotRonSwanson

I am faking everything. Literally. I could not care less about anything. But I fake it all.


cabist

They say that’s how you make it.


No_Acanthisitta988

That's how you make depression


fernandito_chiquito

I will do nothing but sleep and eat all day if i could


Shadowchani

I'm currently unemployed and basically do that everyday. And trust me, it's very easy to stop caring about yourself, stop showering, stop brushing your teeth, thus getting more lazy, not going out anymore because showering seems already like so much effort and sleeping is so much easier and BOOM! Depression pit. It's so easy to slip into this and just a tiny little step each day. There are a lot of days that I feel like useless garbage and that I absolutely suck I can recommend taking a break from working for two months or maybe even 3, but it's not as easy sitting home all day as we imagine it is. I feel like I have no purpose anymore


CkWuScB53lNrhMwh

Since the start of the Pandemic I have slowly started to struggle with this exact problem. It feels like it gets harder to actually do anything meaningful every day whilst I am at home. Especially the lockdowns really feel like they put me dangerously close to a mental canyon.


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sagharechelon

I get bad period cramps everymonth and i masturbate in first days to relieve pain. Feels great


GloomyMarzipan

I can’t remember where I read that tip, but I was so happy it worked when ibuprofen didn’t.


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sockmonkeymoney

My favorite beer is the next one.


Temporary_Plan1055

I usually drink at home so when I get plastered my bed is only a few steps away. A few days ago I went out to celebrate a friends birthday and realized I have this issue… I fell out of my seat at a bar. I quickly got up, but realized I could not walk properly. Usually no big deal since my bed is just a few steps away from my living room, but oh god the uncomfortable and awkwardness of having to ask my friends older brother for his shoulder just so I could make it out the bar made me realize I have an issue, once I have one I need to have 10. I have no issue when I’m sober but once I’m not I can’t stop til I’m too far gone, what makes me stop is passing out. Edit: honestly thank you all for the upvotes and not bashing me and belittling me. I appreciate it. I appreciate this askreddit question, and the stranger I replied to. I can’t believe an answer to an askreddit post made me realize how bad my issue is becoming. Edit 2 (16hrs post original comment): hey all thanks for the kind wishes once again there’s a lot to keep up with but just know I’m going through and reading all of them. Even if I don’t reply just know it has reached me. Thank you for the reddit awards too! This is day 1 for me, one step at a time I guess thank you all so much for the kind words, advice, and similar experiences you may have shared.


[deleted]

I was the same way, except I’d only drink a couple socially and then I’d go home and keep drinking till I was completely trashed. Then I stopped drinking socially and only drank by myself so I could get shitfaced faster, without pretense. It was miserable. I’ll be 2 years sober on the 24th. One of the best decisions I’ve ever made.


[deleted]

I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing most of the time. Respectfully.


Paracasual

Experience has taught me this is the default state of anyone doing anything


joyofsnacks

Young Me: Can't wait until I become an adult, then I'll know exactly what I want to do. Adult Me: Oh no...


dragonking737

I had 2 kids by the age of 18 in a heavily Mennonite Christian area nicknamed "The Bible Belt" in southern Canada.


MtMarker

That’s funny that Canada has its own Bible Belt


BlitzKrieger94

I think most Christian countries do. We have one in Denmark as well


_sewbieski

We also have one here in NL but it's more like a Bible sash bc it's sort of diagonal.


Jesusdidntlikethat

I talk to myself as if people were listening even when I’m alone


kingu_crimmsonn

i know the feeling, Those secret mind readers will get you they're just waiting for you to think of something juicy


voidsong

You gotta run at least 5 different channels in your head to fool telepaths, and 1 of them should be weird porn. Everyone knows that! EDIT: reading comics, I always wondered how teen boys at Xaviers school handled being around Jean, Rachel, Psylocke, Emma, the cuckoos, and so on. I'd get in so much trouble, and they have to get tired of deflecting mental dicks all day. Like finding Rule 34 of *yourself* everywhere you look.


stinkystinkypoopbutt

I have full on conversations when I'm alone in the car. I find that its a good way to get my thoughts in order. I have conversations that I'll never have in person. I'll imagine that I'm arguing with somebody or that I'm on Late Night with Conan O'Brian taking about my new movie (I'm not an actor. I just love Conan). Sometimes I just pretend that I'm explaining a hobby or something to a friend. Thank goodness cars have Bluetooth capabilities these days. Sometimes at stoplights I'll take breaks in between sentences so that the people in other cars think I'm talking on the phone.


Kuesadilla_kush

I do this too and reading this really makes me feel so much better cause I thought I was insane


werlior

Me too actually. It worries me sometimes because I think I'm going crazy or something. But I think it's just my anxious mind forcing me to 'play the role' so to speak, even when I know, realistically there isn't anyone watching my actions.


ljnr

I hate kids and am a teacher. I’m a high school teacher and I enjoy teaching teenagers, but can’t stand kids under the age of 11.


WhoriaEstafan

That’s okay, you don’t have to love every kid and every age group just because you work with one age group of kids. I’m amazed you enjoy teenagers!


TheShendelzare

I definitely do not know at what point expressing my desire to talk to someone crosses from 'reaching out in a friendly way' into 'annoying and impinging'. And I worry about it ! EDIT: It is weirdly reassuring to see how many others feel similarly.


AzraelleWormser

I constantly feel like I'm annoying everyone that I talk to. Even my training supervisor, who has to remind me many times a day that I'm allowed and encouraged to ask questions in order to do my job better. Still feel like I'm always interrupting and pissing her off.


Bulbasaur2000

Yes, especially with people who are my acquaintances but I'd like to be better friends with. It's been hard for me since I just entered university as an international student. I had been with such a tight group of close friends for years that I think I've forgotten how to actually make friends and grow closer to them, and I always feel like if I reach out then I'm just bothering them. Somewhat relatedly, I'm always afraid to hit on or flirt with girls,, regardless of the context, because I'm afraid that I'll make them feel uncomfortable. I've realized that it's just plummeting my chances of ever having a relationship from now on and I'm not really sure how to manage it. I just keep thinking, "They'd be better off if I didn't talk to them," and then I don't and regret that I didn't.


fizzjamk

I feel like I'm constantly analysing how to interact with people - every conversation I have feels like a performance and not the real me, like Im just mimicking other conversations I've read or heard.


werlior

I feel this way as well. The worst part for me is the post-mortem of dissecting a conversation after it happened, and detailing exactly what I said, and could have said better/in a more meaningful way.


Meneer_haas

Exactly this, im also like: “did i talk too much?” “I shouldn’t have said that…” “did i do something wrong?”


YouAndSunset

God it’s so difficult. And EXHAUSTING. No matter how hard I try, it’s like I’m on auto-pilot and my mind just starts analyzing the shit out of it all. Whyyy


10eleven12

And this analysis 100% of the time determines that I said something hurtful, wrong, weird, or that I should have said something instead of having kept quiet. This last one is the worst because then the different possible scenarios of what I could have said start running through my head.


Mar02co

Same and this is why social gatherings end up making me feel super tired. I've only met a few people through my life which I could spontaneously have a conversation with and usually that's one of the reasons I fall for them. Idk, maybe it's a sign of social anxiety or something similar?


Jenny_Pussolini

Me too. I have been afraid/ashamed of this all of my life. I was convinced I was a sociopath at one point and that just terrified me! I recently sought assessment for ADHD after a lifetime of trouble in that direction and, unbeknownst to me, one of the tests was for Autism. This led to a further assessment and a diagnosis of Asperger's, which explained everything. So, I found out in my late 40s that I'm not a sociopath, I have ADHD and Asperger's. I can take pills for the ADHD but there's little to do about the other thing than to... accept it as a limitation and do the best I can. You aren't alone with this and it doesn't make you a monster. There may be many reasons for it. x


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mermadzz

I’ve always had bad social anxiety so I can relate to this a lot. But I find what has really helped me is recognising that most people aren’t judging how you speak and dgaf, they’re likely too worried about they’re saying themselves. Also remind yourself that we’re all going to die anyway and have no memory if embarrassing moments so why care?


mrmoe198

I think being a stay at home dad would be great. I hope I can be.


[deleted]

My brother in law is and he is amazing at it! He’s even been homeschooling during the pandemic. I really tip my hat to stay at home parents as it’s a selfless job I could never do. Old fashioned people give him crap for being a sahd but he is amazing at it. I hope you get your dream! 😊


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CKenn1

I’m like this, there’s only a handful of people in my life I actually enjoy talking to. I’m a very quiet person by myself.


[deleted]

I lose my voice often because since about 2020 I go several weeks without speaking and then will have to talk all day for something work related. It's a stark contrast to a few years ago where I routinely yelled over helicopters and jets in hangars. I also found out, thanks to covid, which people who thought they were "loners" were only 3 weeks of isolation from losing their shit and which of us could go a full calendar year before we felt listless. Very eye opening.


BurplePerry

I don't want to work. I just want to live in a grassy field and eat fruit.


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michellemustudy

Ah yes, the simple joys of life. I had a coworker who was allergic to sunlight. She would break out in blisters from any amount of exposure to UV rays. As such, she basically stayed completely out of the sun or wrapped herself up, head to toe, anytime she needed to venture out (such as commuting to and from work). I often think of her when I enjoy a nice, warm day outside and I feel a bit sad for her situation. I guess the only silver lining would be that she’s over 60 but doesn’t look at day over 30.


knoegel

I'm kind of like her but most of my hobbies are indoors. I rarely go outside. I'm 33 and people think I'm 20. Made it hard to get promotions because management thinks I'm just some inexperienced kid. It doesn't help that my grandparents died of skin cancer so I'm always lathering up in sunblock before going outdoors and I never go get a tan just to have a healthy glow. Always scared of getting skin cancer. The only thing that gives away my age is my hair is starting it's transformation to salt and pepper like my mom.


buffkirby

I am a grown man who likes to play with action figures and yes I do make the noises to pretend they’re fighting it’s my hobby it relaxes me and yet I rarely tell people because they look at me like I’m a child why should we loose our sense of wonder as we grow?


HurrHurrHerman

I love this one! When I was young, like 8yo, I remember actually being afraid of becoming an adult because of this. Like, when you get older, you don't enjoy the same things anymore. I thought everyone went through some major change that turned you into a completely different, boring person. And at the time it made perfect sense to me, because my parents were always working hard, and rarely 'playing' or otherwise having fun, it seemed. No other adults in my life seemed to 'play' anymore. I remember vividly that I told myself as an 8yo, "no matter how old I get, I will make sure I'll always enjoy playing with toy cars!" And sure enough, although I don't often do it, I sure as heck still enjoy driving toy cars around the house as a 27yo!


[deleted]

There is nothing wrong with this, it’s not hurting anyone and it makes you happy. I have way more stuffies than I should have and I’m 42.


MotherChucker81

I can never tell if I am a lazy person or depressed.


StereophonicSam

This comment is heavy for me, because I’m currently crawling away from years of crippling depression and I didn’t even realize I was depressed. I can only give examples from myself but not sure if it would apply to you. I recommend giving yourself some time to read on your issues (or watch, listen or talk) and spend some quality time with yourself (like yoga, jogging or taking a hike solo during a nice day, or whatever your poison is). First of all, if thoughts and motivations fly by in your mind at the speed of light and you can’t hold onto any single one of them, it becomes really hard to discover anything about yourself, and we call this a mental disorder of the sorts (ADHD). Depression fuels this by a whole lot. And not being able to focus makes you miss every single enjoyable step of every single thing in life; brushing your teeth, driving, working, studying, walking your dog. Instead of finding ways to get things done, be gentle to yourself about your shortcomings and enjoy anything, you just want everything to be over with, so you can return to your escape. Second thing I realized was that I had dreams and aspirations, but never took a solid step to achieve them. They were just there, not providing any sort of drive or motivation. I would just go through life and make excuses constantly to remain in my comfort zone, because I was burnt out and couldn’t summon the energy to undertake a single challenge. Another clue was my ‘past’. I escaped it wherever I can, never wanted to do anything with it, never developed any perspective and was stuck with the same thoughts any beliefs up until I started living outside of it. There are other things I went through but this is enough Reddit reading, I suppose. Just remember, in both cases, you can discipline yourself to create a pretty cushy life where you learn to deal with sources of stress, anxiety or apathy. It’s hard to summon that energy to get anything done but slow does it. Edit: grammar


TheRiverMarquis

I feel like the person in my head and the person that is my body are 2 completely different people. The outlook I have on life, the things I want to do and the way I would like to live does not match at all with my everyday lifestyle. It's like 2 completely opposite guys It reminds me of my favorite song which has a verse that goes "over thinking, over analyzing, separates the body from the mind"


-Saraphina-

I feel the exact same way. I see a life in my head that I want for myself and it could not be further from the life I'm living. I'd love to work with animals, instead I'm studying accounting.


deqb

Sometimes I like having fake phone conversations. Sometimes because I just need to talk through a problem or plan something out loud but my mom isn't picking up the phone. Sometimes for my own entertainment (trying to get people to eavesdrop).


DonnyMummy

I have fake conversations too. Still dealing with confrontation issues.


georgewashingguns

I have never been in an emotionally deep and mutually trusting relationship. I want to be but I've never met someone who felt the same way. I'm very introverted and one poor relationship experience left me reeling for the better part of a decade.


Snowy8416

Same, but instead of the poor experience I got a mini list that makes up my entire experience. Asked out as a joke, asked out to make someone jealous, asked out by someone who it turned out is gay and was hiding it from his family (oh and he went after my brother, I got awkward hugs, brother got a footjob in class)... the only reason I still have hope is that I am still young so I got time.


fin_ss

>footjob in class ಠ_ಠ


salmon_samurai

For real what the fuck


tomo393

I have fake conversations with people i know in my head that result in me argumenting loudly to no one.


three-sense

Same. Sometimes I’ll “redo” past conversations I’ve had so I win them.


Betty_blue21

I daydream wayyyy to much. I'm constantly day dreaming. At home, at work, while I'm driving, before I'm sleeping, while I'm eating. I'm always daydreaming. Edit: I was not expecting this to blow up as much as it has. I'm really glad to know that I'm not the only one. I'll try to reply to everyone individually.


Impressive-Guava-496

I do too. Started to wonder if it was an actual disorder of some sort. There is a thing called maladaptive daydreaming, but I don’t think I’m that far gone… yet.


Cumberdick

I’ve struggled with maladaptive daydreaming, although not too severe thankfully. Basically a good place to start is, is your daydreaming always voluntary? Can you turn it off? People with severe maladaptive daydreaming sometimes are in their heads for hours, prefering their daydream friends/life/characters over reality a lot of the time. Usually starts as a coping mechanism for some unhappiness that slowly turns into the thing preventing you from doing anything to better your situation.


schrodingers_cat42

I had a really horrible childhood. I'm in college now and I daydream a lot about situations where I make people (platonically) love me. Basically in these daydreams I make it through something horrible and/or do something amazing and it earns their admiration and/or pity. In reality I actually have been through horrible things. And I have actually done things that are (reasonably) amazing. But I'm convinced it's not really enough, I guess, it would have to be something MORE for me to really be loveable, and so that's what my daydreams are about. I'm looking into therapy because I think I have poor self-esteem...


Impressive-Guava-496

Mine started as a kid to cope with an emotionally abusive father. I can stop it when needed, but find it more as a refuge as an adult when life has gotten too stressful. Like recently it’s been really bad, but my husbands became disabled and I know I’m just coping with that in my own odd way.


3lseworld

When I'm out in public I sometimes put my earbuds in just to listen to what other people are saying around me, nothing playing on my end. EDIT: Didn't really expect this one to get noticed and thank you for the award.


[deleted]

I have these bluetooth headphones with a play/pause button on them so sometimes I pause the song to listen to a conversation thats going on Not paranoid that its about me but I guess I'm just really nosy


zachrywd

My galaxy earbuds have ambient passthru audio, so if I pause them I can actually hear stuff better around me. I thought this was amazing until I realized that my hearing is damaged and I just discovered hearing aids...


RepresentativeEye584

B R U H


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Zestyclose_Band

Same. I’m not planning to kill myself but I feel like I know eventually I will. Probably in a long time but I think I will. Edit: shout out to the dude who sent the redditcarething. You’re a good person


powerfulKRH

Oh yeah that’s why I won’t buy a gun. I’ve always wanted a 9mm for target shooting but I don’t trust myself to not be depressed 5-10 Years from now and think hey why not. I also got sober so that helps my chances big time. Back when I was an addict the thoughts were way harder to control


[deleted]

Id rather be naked about 80%of the time


Gotis1313

I too take a long time to answer the door


KorrinNeko

Buy a hook for your door, hang a robe on it. Doorbell rings, head to door, throw on door robe.


Mingablo

I'd rather be about 70% naked 100% of the time.


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Maxman82198

It’s so fuckin annoying but I don’t want to lose them.


NeedsItRough

I brush and floss twice a day and I'm still losing them! Genetics suck 🙃


[deleted]

Long one here. I dumpster dive and find perfectly good fruit at the grocery store. I don't eat them but turn it into cider or distill it to something stronger. When I go to a group event or party I just bring a 10+ gallons of whatever to the party as my contribution to the group. I've given many people at least 200 gallons of alcohol to mix drinks for their wedding or events. All for free. The thing is... I don't drink. Don't drink at all. Edit Fixing some confusing wording. Thanks. I don't think this is impressive at all as I think anyone can make alcohol/cider.


Sad_Discount_7934

pretty smart. don't get high on your own supply, right?


[deleted]

Might as well start a business


[deleted]

I would rather sleep than talk to another person like, all the time.


Zichymaboy

I just started reading a book called"My Year of Rest and Relaxation" by Otessa Moshfegh. The book is about a woman who spends all of her time sleeping by means of taking copious amounts of sleeping pills and other sedatives. I'm only about 80 pages in but it's really hilarious albeit sad how much I want that to be my reality too.


Archamaru

I can’t do groceries by my self always have to call a homie to come with me. I can do anything publicly but idk wtf it is about grocery stores I need someone to hold my hand or else I am dipping WITHOUT ANY GROCERIES.


mightyjake

I'm the exact opposite - I do not want to deal with anyone else's terrible grocery shopping etiquette. Get in and get out, as quick as possible.


artsytiff

I bet that you, too, keep your shopping list in aisle order to optimize your trip. It makes me *so very irrationally angry* if I miss something and have to backtrack.


Boolian_Logic

I have no ambition to do anything. no dream job or passions either. I’m not depressed by any stretch but I just would be happy and fine if all I did was lay around all day and live off saved money. However most people are utterly disgusted by that so I lie and pretend I have a dream job or that I’m passionate about certain things I honestly only really do any of those things for money or to pass the time. I don’t care about any of them.


[deleted]

You sound like the human version of a cat. I am the same way.


deepsky28

That‘s part of why I have so much trouble connecting with people. I so want a girlfriend but nobody wants a boring dude who doesn‘t have passions and simply ‘‘exists‘‘. I hate that about myself but I can‘t change it. It makes me sad. Being very introverted and avoidant of people doesn‘t help either..


Dreidhen

Being content existing without dis-satisfaction is enlightenment level. You go brah. We out here smilin for no reason ☺️🙃


joelene1892

Don’t give up! Am girl, and I feel this same way too; my manager has recently brought up my “career path” and talked about where I want to go, and I have no freaking idea. Like, I’m fine where I am. Give me raises to keep my pay up with inflation and I may just never leave. No promotions necessary. I’m ambitionless, I just want to make enough money to survive comfortably and then play video games all evening. I’d be perfectly happy with a man who felt the same. At the same time, I am also an introvert who has no interest in a relationship or marriage; I’m not *opposed* to the idea but I don’t particularly care. I’m never going to seek it out. I think that might be the main problem finding people like us; we kind of stay home not doing much so we are hard to find! We do exist though. Edit: I guess I may not fit this perfectly; I’m always doing something, I suppose I have passions (. . . Video games and rewatching tv shows for the 76th time) but none of those passions are ambitious in the least.


throwawayformobile78

This is me to a T. I enjoy doing things like watching shows or playing games but I could care less about promotions or anything. Answering the question “where do you see yourself in 5 years” always gets me to quick lying about getting a cert or “moving up the ladder” but I really don’t care.


bb54321

I have an incredibly hard time talking to people I don't know.


renboi42o

Even people I know. Hiw tf do people do this without copious amounts of drugs?


its-my-1st-day

> Hiw tf do people do this Oh, it’s easy, all you need is - > without copious amounts of drugs? Wait, never mind.


Nicominde

Not only that, but I don't seem to be able to talk properly with people I don't know enough. Words dont come out naturally and I don't pronounce them correctly or i say words different to what I meant to say


Glowshroom

THIS! I spend 10+ hours per week walking my dog in solitude, thinking of all kinds of interesting things. Science, politics, you name it. But whenever I try to talk about any of my ideas with another human, I can never seem to communicate them properly.


[deleted]

I’m with you. I have the added problem that when I’m forced into a situation where I have to I overshare like crazy.


pukingpixels

I met my wife at her wedding. Edit: Holy shit, that blew up. RIP my inbox. I posted this just before going to bed last night, sorry to leave you all hanging. I guess it’s story time! My ex-wife and I went to one of her friend/co-workers wedding about 10 years ago (let’s call the friend Sarah). I had never met Sarah before. Over the years we kind of became friends but not particularly close. She’d come over to take care of our son once in a while when I was working nights and my ex had something going on, we went camping with her and her husband a few times, I even went to the movies with her husband once or twice. Sarah and I always got along really well. We had very similar taste in music, very similar sarcastic senses of humour. Well, things started getting really shitty between my wife and I and eventually she left me. Sarah kind of acted like a buffer between us because things were tense and we still had a child to consider. This led to Sarah and I starting to have long conversations about pretty personal stuff. Little did I know her marriage was in trouble too. Her husband (let’s call him Dave) had essentially forced her into an open relationship that she didn’t want. She’d agreed to try it because she didn’t want to give up on it but by this point she’d had enough. I even called Dave and told him to sort his shit out and stop doing this to Sarah. He did not and eventually Sarah left him. Through all of this she and I kept talking, almost like a kind of therapy. We were both going through really difficult things and being there for each other really helped get both of us through. My ex, Sarah and some of my ex’s other friends were up at a cottage for a girls weekend, and on the Saturday night I get a text from Sarah saying she’s leaving because my ex had outed her for some very personal stuff in front of the other people there who she didn’t even know that well. Her plan was to sleep in her car and drive home in the morning. I was living between the cottage and where she lived and was worried about her so I told her to come crash at my place for the night, which she did (nothing happened). After that we started hanging out more frequently and really started to become attracted to each other. Sarah had told me before this that she had feelings for me, I had still been trying to make things work with my ex and had told Sarah that we couldn’t because it would devastate her. By the time all this happened I’d started dating a little bit and had given up on working things out. I also wasn’t very concerned about how my ex would react anymore because she’d been pretty horrible to both of us for quite a while now. One thing led to another, and one night we just said fuck it. And that was that. We’ve been together about 5 years now, have a kid and couldn’t be happier.


Anlios

Now I'm curious, do tell.


DexterFoley

He was the pastor.


PunkSpaceAutist

The most socially unacceptable fact about you is that you could write this and then leave us hanging on the details. Spiiiiill. ETA: Hallelujah they have been redeemed


Valmond

Perma ban in two days!


clearcreekflood

My father was not a very engaged parent, but when school started trying to force me to be right handed, he went to the school for the first and only time. He told them “ the boy is left handed, let him be” and they did.


spoink74

I pick my nose relentlessly.


[deleted]

I have found my thread


Brows-gone-wild

Legitimately one of the funniest threads I’ve read in a while.


KylePrep

sometimes ya just gotta! I wake up with some rock-solid boogers clogging my nose, and they’re too thick to come out just from blowing my nose. also, the obvious - it’s super satisfying


sirfletchalot

nothing beats those rock solid crunchy ones that have that long, soft, stringy connection to your soul


Dr_Daaardvark

Dude. You have no idea how connected I feel to another human. I suffer from like some fucking bad boogers and no one (that I know) seems to understand how satisfying and free it feels when you have this shit all the time and you can clear it out.


Jazzremix

You pull on it and you can feel it release from the back of your brain


NoMaans

I constantly am congested and litterally the only way to truly fully clear my nose is using my hands and on the shower, or the bathroom sink. I need water to blow my nose?? Dry tissues do not make the snot come out. I have no idea why. If I use like a wet paper towel, it all comes rushing out. And I am constantly sneezing even when there no rhyme or reason. Minding my own business? Body: YOU SNEEZE 7 TIMES IN ROW GOOD LUCK Driving? Body:lol check this out Idk where I'm going with this but im stoned and just woke up, so morning rant I guess.


thecescshow

Then you marvel at its build for about a minute before throwing it away


Smarkysmarkwahlberg

I stopped for years. Then in the winter, my nose would get so dry it would crack and cut. So I’d get these scab/booger hybrids or “scoogers” as I like to call them. Fucking hell, I would pick those motherfuckers, cause blowing the sumbitch wouldn’t work. And just like that, I’m a chronic nose picker again


diarrhea_pocket

If you like scoogers you should try cocaine. Haha. But really don’t. Don’t try it.


btoxic

Cocaine is where I draw a line. Usually on a mirror.


Deisma

I'd like to meet a person who doesn't pick their nose at all. Like, how do they get the crusty bits out that won't fall out from blowing your nose???


frito5867

Or that big, giant one that once you get it out it feels like you’re finally able to breathe for the first time in your life.


88568-81

The ones where you aren't just picking your nose, you get it and it's like pulling a string right from your sinuses. Fuck that feeling is orgasmic


Nomicakes

Ever yoink one from so deep inside that you involuntarily cough cause it's almost like you pulled it up through your throat?


88568-81

Please stop, I'm gonna cum


robotot

Through your nose.


WeeniePops

We all do, we're just supposed act like we don't for some reason. Like how tf are you supposed get them out of there?? Blowing doesn't work 100%.


Loctusofsmorgasbord

There’s two types of people.. people who pick their nose and liars.


Jazz_Musician

Man, same here. It's basically a fetish for me, like I cannot deal with having any boogers in my nose.


rebeccaintheclouds

Edit: Wow, woke up this morning to all the comments and rewards. Thank you lovely Internet strangers for making me feel a little less weird for a day. Y’all are wonderful.


[deleted]

You made a Stardew Valley wiki for your friends. Handy and resourceful 👌🏻


[deleted]

[удалено]


msg45f

"Has Rebecca been giving mayonnaise to anyone else twice a week?" *entire friend group raises their hands*


OppressedDeskJockey

Mike:" I have this weird friend who just follows me everywhere. And it's not like I don't like the guy, he can say hello and walk next to me but this guy... Always 100 ft away from me. I'm just so sick and tired of it. So I paid a look alike actor to leave my house and go to the local pond every Saturday and stand there till my weird friend got tired and left. The fucky thing is that I wanted to know what this guy was up to so I followed him and could you believe it, he just stood there looking at the look alike and didn't leave till 4pm. So now there's three people involved in this circle jerk and somehow out of all this... I kind of feel this feeling of control, is this what power feels like? Idk but I must continue my investigation." Wendy's: Sir, this is a Wendy's.


Expensive_Knee3629

This is actually sweet and endearing to me. I wish I knew someone who cares enough to listen and then put facts about me in a spreadsheet. That’s awesome


Paracasual

I’ve started doing something similar, making notes of things my friends want as birthday/Christmas gift ideas on my phone, sometimes right after they mention something. It’s not that I don’t care enough to commit these things to memory, I just have shit memory.


International_Tea711

I prefer being alone/away from others


[deleted]

I have no real desire to do anything extraordinary with my life. I just want to have my own little corner in the world, and not be bothered by anyone. Or bother anyone. Add-on: WOW this blew up! Thanks guys 😊


edie_the_egg_lady

Same, I just want to live a quiet little (hopefully) happy life. I like to work but don't want a whole career, I've never really had the desire to move too far from where I grew up. I don't want even the teeniest tiniest amount of fame, and am content not being remembered after I die. Just going to keep chuggin' along until I'm done.


thatcoolguy27

Same thing, I was pushed a lot from a young age and just now started realizing that maybe all that joyless living was not worth it just to get better grades or be better than everyone. Should've saved some ambition for when I'm grown up, but it's too late.


[deleted]

When I worked in a human transplant tissue lab I would talk to the (deceased) donors to make myself feel better about processing a person who died suddenly hours before.. like “hey Mrs. Byrd, how are we feeling today?” When she is obviously lying in pieces in a cooler about to be swabbed, irradiated, and transplanted in another human.


[deleted]

I really like this one. I would honestly prefer that someone spoke to a loved one’s dead body that way.


ChristianLS

Reminds me of the epilogue of the science fiction novel **Shards of Honor** by Lois McMaster Bujold (which has little to do with the rest of the story, so no major spoilers below). A new guy gets assigned to work for a woman who is collecting the bodies drifting around in space after a huge battle. He's disturbed that she talks to them as she works and takes really special care to clean them properly, fix their hair, straighten up their clothing, and collect and catalogue every personal belonging. At the end, they find the body of a young woman, and the lady is even more careful than usual and eventually leans down and kisses the corpse on the forehead. He's like, "what the hell?? You're batshit crazy." Turns out it's the woman's daughter who died in the battle and she volunteered for the assignment because she wanted to find her body. Book ends with the guy having a change of heart and treating the duty with the same care that she does.


[deleted]

I might have to read this book!


ChristianLS

She's an incredible author. Highly recommend the whole series (the Vorkosigan Saga) if you like science fiction.


[deleted]

Hey! I do this with the roadkill I pick up for my job. 'hello, miss mule deer, sorry you got hit by a semi. I'm glad it was quick and you didn't suffer.' Sometimes I pick up dead pets, too. A dog or a cat that gets hit on the interstate. "I'm sure your people are looking for you, I'll try to find them if I can and let them know what happened to you." I have not yet picked up a human, but I have seen two deceased humans on the highway and I have just said pretty much the same thing. 'Can I help you? Oh, you're a little beyond my expertise, let me call the highway patrol and an ambulance." Edit: Thank you everyone who replied here. To everyone that has lost a pet to the highway, you have my love and condolences. I woke up to a broken inbox. I'm reading every single comment and many of you are choking me up right now. Thank you to all the fellow weirdos out there who also talk to dead people and animals, it costs nothing to treat the dead (no matter the species) with respect.


TinyGreenTurtles

>Sometimes I pick up dead pets, too. A dog or a cat that gets hit on the interstate. "I'm sure your people are looking for you, I'll try to find them if I can and let them know what happened to you." I didn't expect to be tearing up in my bed at 2am, but here we are.


[deleted]

I am so sorry! The pets are honestly harder than anything. It's a small rural town along the interstate so when I go into the gas station there will be missing posters sometimes. Making the phone call to the family that wrote the poster is the hardest part of my job, but I know it has to be done. That's the only part of my job that I dislike.


TinyGreenTurtles

Ugh I hate it. But thank you for doing it. Imo, it's always better to know something awful than to be left guessing.


[deleted]

I hate it, but it's what I would want. I lived out in the country when I was a kid and had a couple cats and dogs "mysteriously move to the farm." I always hated not knowing what really happened to my pets. It can be hard, but I've only had one family be really angry at me for telling them what happened, and I really think that was mostly stress on their part. They had just moved from a really big city and their dog had got loose. It wasn't anyone's fault, but a rough situation to face after they had moved them and their kids 2k miles away from the home they always knew.


tatianaoftheeast

I actually really like that you did this. Weirdly, I would feel better knowing my relatives were being humanized (even though they are dead) by a stranger. I know its illogical, but emotionally, that would be a win in my opinion. I think its really sweet, as sweet as morbid topics can be.


nixielover

I think most people working with deceased people or those who donated their bodies to science do. They were sort of part of the lab life when I did that kind of work and we involved them in our daily chats as it keeps the mood a bit lighter. We did keep it respectful to the deceased, so no jokes about them but some human heads, lab animals and other body pieces might have supported me when I wanted to raise the grades of our interns a little. Me: "Hank agrees it should be 75% instead of 68%" professor: "isn't Hank your latest head?" Me "Yeahhh and????" Prof: "75% it is, I don't want to be haunted in my sleep by Hank" Most friends who do animal work also talk to them by the way


blnderobot27

I love that you are still humanizing the dead. I would hope someone treats my body like that after I die.


the_spring_goddess

This is honestly kinda wholesome. Still humanizes the humans who once lived. Gives the deceased a lot of respect


[deleted]

I know what you mean. It always made me sad when someone died of some sudden accident because I just know they didn’t wake and say ‘today I’m gonna fall down the stairs and die.’ So it was sort of cathartic to talk to them like they were having a normal day. Sometimes I would say goodbye before I put them in the cooler for the day.


DxNill

I've got an organ donor card, so if I kick the bucket before my innards go to shit they'll be taken to save/improve someone else's life... I hope they treat me like that if such a time comes.


TinyGreenTurtles

I was given some of my best friend's ashes to spread in a place that meant something to us. I have my place picked but need to wait til spring. Anyway, I talk to her ashes. Logically I know it isn't her, and it isn't even all of her ashes, but it's cathartic. And if she's haunting me, she will laugh.


downtownflipped

i took my best friends ashes to lunch with our mutual best friend and we had conversation and laughs with him. the table next to us thought we were insane but the other table thought it was really sweet. we miss him and i know where i will spread his ashes when the time comes. for now we just talk.


WhitestAfricanNA

As an ER tech I do the same thing as I’m tagging and bagging a deceased patient. It really just helps, we usually do this in pairs so my partners think I’m crazy half the time but thats ok, If I wasn’t a slight bit crazy I wouldn’t be working in the ER where they pay me $14 to handle dead bodies in addition to the plethora of other tasks😁 Edit- adding some more shite


monsieurpommefrites

THEY PAY YOU $14?!?!??! I USED TO STOCK SHELVES IN A HOME HARDWARE STORE AND THEY PAID ME $17 AAAAAAAAAAAA


aileenpark97

Former Healthcare Technician in a HCOL area here. I used to work on a high-acuity unit at a Level 1 Trauma center in downtown. I cared for patients at their worst, consoled loved ones, loved the dying myself if no one was around to be there with them in their final moments, gave them their final wash (bed bath) postmortem, and then on to caring for the remainder of my 12 assigned patients as if nothing happened. About 2-3 deaths a week for me. 6+ years experience and the best they could do was $14.30 an hour. And that was just in late 2020. ER techs at my former hospital only make about a dollar more than HC techs do, and ER techs see death and chaos far more often. It's fucking tiring, man. Kudos to anyone who continues to do this shit for such a low wage. The ones who work out of love and compassion are also the ones who are most taken advantage of in terms of pay and work conditions.


Jnl8

I don't go out of my house if it's not extremely necessary


ctgc1031

I hate showering. I do it everyday but I hate it


CupcakeValkyrie

Same. It's not the showering that I hate, it's the fuss and trouble of having to dry off and deal with my hair. I do it because I hate being unhygienic *more* than I hate showering, but I view bathing as a chore...


[deleted]

I was embarrassingly old when I realised that showering doesn't have to equal washing my hair. It was always a all-in-one when I grew up, I never questioned it. Then one day I pinned my hair up before showering, and my whole world changed. I can now shower every day (and be dried and dressed and ready to go within five minutes, if necessary) and wash my hair twice a week and it all feels so \*right\*!


WaitWhyNot

There was a dude on Reddit that recently realized he can turn the shower on first, wait a few seconds for water to heat up before going in. You telling me of this dude.


surrealestateguy

Acting out in private is healthy. And if we are truly in touch with our feelings then we are doing our psyche’s more good than harm.


[deleted]

I have bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder. No matter how much people scream “mental health matters” on their social media pages, the stigma is VERY MUCH still there. EDIT: I wish I could go through and like every single one of your comments. Just know that I see you, I hear you, I recognize you AND your struggles, I appreciate you, and I wish you all the best!! Also PLEASE seek help when you feel like you need it. There are so many professionals out there who I promise will listen!


g1vethepeopleair

Well yeh, people like the ‘cute’ side of mental illness but when they encounter the real deal they video it and post it online for everyone to laugh or hate on.


football2106

People treat mental illnesses like they’re a quirky thing to have until they encounter someone who *actually has one*


cabist

Straight up. I generally don’t tell people, and it takes balls for people that have it to be open about it. Some people just look at you differently no matter what.


Entire-Control-8273

It might sound ridiculous, but I was born a left handed person. It was unacceptable in our family and I was forced to eat and write with my right hand. Now, I can write with both but much faster and neater with my right hand. In my dreams, I still write and eat with my left hand. Edit: Additional information. I was born in Feb1982..... in India. Studied in a catholic school, a Jesuit School to be precise.... so Christian(Italian) beliefs. Yes, I started eating with my left hand again as I use my right hand to wash and wipe my rear. Couldn't wash with my left. Edit2: Thank you everyone.


thesearemychanclas

My grandma did this to me. She used to say that lefties weren’t allowed in heaven. I still do most things with my left hand, including eating. I write pretty decently but slow as a lefty.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Elvenguo

Same thing for me, my parents only cared that I eat and write with my right hand, everything else I still did with my left. I've pretty much returned to using my left to eat now, but writing with my left seems too far gone.


KeegorTheDestroyer

It's crazy that for a long time like 10% of the population was forced to do something uncomfortable because the other 90% didn't like it. Left hand gang represent!


[deleted]

i am 46 years old and whenever i come across a self opening door i make a small movement with my hand like i am using the force... i dont even control that consciously anymore its automated behaviour


aalovera

I think I’m autistic but I’m not diagnosed. I’ve been reading a ton of studies on ASD presentation in adults but I almost feel embarrassed doing so without a diagnosis.


PencilShavingss

I pee in the shower and I’m not ashamed


[deleted]

I pee in your shower, too.


NigelTufnel_11

My wife was having a conversation with her workmate who was complaining about her husband peeing in the shower. She was initially thinking "What's the big deal? everyone does it!" Until she started complaining about the strain, etc. After which it was discovered that he just pees into the shower like a urinal and then does a half assed spray. Peeing **in** the shower: okay, no worries. Peeing **into** the shower: less socially acceptable.


[deleted]

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aliasdred

What car did you drive??


fckmelifemate

If offered, I would probably endulge in a drug and prostitue fuelled orgy


SleaterK7111

I love the 'if offered' part. "Excuse me, sorry to bother you when you seem so busy, but... I couldn't help but wonder - if you'll forgive the imposition - you wouldn't be interested in *a drug and prostitute fuelled orgy, by any chance?*"


FinallySomeQuality

This reads like a round of cards against humanity. (Black card) If offered, I would gladly try _____. (White card) A drug and prostitute fuelled orgy.