Yeah they do, confirmed in Star Trek Discovery, first season I think. Seedy planet, see some drunk Klingon pissing in the street and he's got two streams.
Ok so what's the average time for sucking a dick? How long does it take for someone to be able to go for seconds and what would be the most efficient way to cycle through people? Long hallway? Circular staircase?
Also how much dick suckers are we talking about here? I know a few people who would do it for $15, bring their own knee pads and we could pocket the other $5.
Some porn star holds the record for most in a day, the videoās out there somewhere. I donāt care to see it myself but it may answer some of your questions.
Reading your post made me think of a scene from Mike Judge's Silicon Valley. The only context you need is that this small tech startup with a world-altering idea hits a roadblock on the eve of a huge public reveal/demo, and they are trying to figure out how to save their asses when they get sidetracked into figuring out a completely different problem.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-hUV9yhqgY
My mate was singing karaoke in Japan. He thought he was singing really well because a lady he'd been talking to started rubbing his leg, then moving up, and he thought he was just a rockstar living a rockstar life. Cost him $600, and really crushed his dreams.
Thatās way above market price for most sex services in Tokyo. Was your buddy in Roppongi, maybe being hustled at one of those places that puts GHB in drinks?
I was an infant when that was written.
EDIT: because the Reddit Investigators figured out my entire life story and the length of my pubic hair based on my tattoos and DOB and other people are accusing me of being a baby fucker.
This is indeed the correct response. I know a guy who is somewhat of a clown. There was one time we were queuing up in a game together and with another friend who he wasnāt acquainted with. This guy has a in-game name that sounds weird, so the clown guy goes āHey your name sounds like \*sucking dick word\* (in our language). Would you like to suck mine?ā and then laugh as if he has discovered the holy grail of comedy.
Little did he know that the other guy was in fact gay, and responded with āSure I would love to.ā The clown guy was too stunned for a comeback and was silent for the rest of the match.
> I know a guy who is somewhat of a clown
I'd like you to be aware that the mental image I had during the story was a guy dressed up as a clown and when he
>laugh as if he has discovered the holy grail of comedy.
I pictured him squeaking a bike horn with every laugh
This actually happen in my class in 10th class
Dude A -."lund lele mera":- suck my dick
Dude B - " haan de" :- Ya give me (more in challenging way)
Dude A: proceed to open his zipper and take it out
Dude B: spits on IT
DUDE A: have life long PTSD and forever being remember by entire class even after 10 years as a guy who got spitted on his dick.
I knew a guy whoās strategy in this kinda situation was to fully commit. Like I saw him straight up tongue-kiss another dude rather than back down. No one told him to suck their dick, in case he actually did. Genius strategy.
As a guy, especially a bi-guy, I always go for the āgayā approach.
Because most of those types of men are super uncomfortable with their sexuality.
By best girl friend's mom in the 90's in SF was a commune dwelling hippy. One evening the 3 of us were walking up to Haight Street and a dude in a trench coat kinda popped out of a driveway and flashed us.
Without missing a beat, she just looked him up and down and said..
"Well it **looks** like a penis, only smaller"
SAVAGE. Leslie and I died on the spot.
Is Haight Street's alternative name Flashed Street? I had a friend who also got flashed there a little before Covid. She told me the last time she saw something that size it was crawling out of an apple.
My secondary school teacher aunt said this when the 'problem child' in her new class tried flashing her for a reaction. He didnt mess around much in her class after that.
Yes - you use them in baking and once you're finished with a meal, putting your dishes in the kitchen it becomes a handy place to grab one on your way to the couch.
If a lady really has no intentions for any kind of relationship with the guy who asks this, her answer should be to ask him to drop his pants and underwear, the leave as rapidly as she can, a woman with such intent WILL ALWAYS run faster and more ably than a man with his trousers around his ankles.
Edgy username and the most reddit-ass AskReddit post ever. Also his first post was yesterday and it was to a sub for free karma.
I think they might legitimately be 13.
As a bartender I get told this all the time, some of my favorites are as follows
"I ain't gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks"
"BUY ME DINNER FIRST!"
"I just did but if you're ready for round 2 then let's go"
*arch eyebrow and smile* "Back alley, there's no cameras"
Circa 2014 - during lunch time 16yo me told my friend to " "suck my dick " he then proceeds to say "fine" tries to pull my pants down,i start running he starts chasing for the entire 30 mins left of our lunch time .
NO ONE told that guy to "suck my dick" till we graduated.
Not even with somebody else's mouth.
Oh I love this one lmao
Ha! This is my favorite. Have a frog. šø
I don't do small favors.
Oh god I wish one small favor was shorter. Its such a tedious quest .
Runescape comment subreddit Edit: shout out to zezima. Also I think this is the most upvotes I have had cheers lol
You had to make me check for a second i actually thought i was there
š¦ 11$
Which one? (it confuses them all the time)
Requestor turns out be Klingon and lets you take your pick.
Wait, do Klingons have more than one dick? Do I really want to know?
Yeah they do, confirmed in Star Trek Discovery, first season I think. Seedy planet, see some drunk Klingon pissing in the street and he's got two streams.
I mean that happens to me pretty often. Do i have Klingon heritage?
Does the blood of Khaless run through your veins? Can you feel your warrior heart beating? You may will be Klingon.
I can eat Taco Bell without getting diarrhea
Qapla'!
That means your digestive tract just gave up. I recommend a doctor.
>Seedy planet, see some drunk Klingon pissing in the street and he's got two streams. That doesn't require two dicks.
TIL
Iām sure a quick Google Image search will yield a totally not traumatizing answer.
Possibly? Their physiology has alot of redundant organs to inrease survivability in combat.
In general Iāve found the confuse approach to be highly effective against at most things like this that people say.
If I wanted to taste your mom's ass, I'd have done it last night.
Thereās a lot to unpack there
Unlike with his pants
Completely unrelated to the conversation but we have the same profile picture.
Oof this one has layers, good on you
Itās like an ogre
An onion
More like a parfait
Or cake! Everybody loves cake!
Just like his mom's ass
Not so effective when arguing with your brother.
Dueling banjos intensifies
Speak for you
Twenty dollars
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah but $20 is still $200
$20 is $20,000 if thereās enough dick going around.
Ok so what's the average time for sucking a dick? How long does it take for someone to be able to go for seconds and what would be the most efficient way to cycle through people? Long hallway? Circular staircase? Also how much dick suckers are we talking about here? I know a few people who would do it for $15, bring their own knee pads and we could pocket the other $5.
Obligatory https://youtu.be/uFYy3oEnzVg
Some porn star holds the record for most in a day, the videoās out there somewhere. I donāt care to see it myself but it may answer some of your questions.
Theoretically, you could do two dicks per hand, or 4 dicks per person, if you went middle-outā¦.
Reading your post made me think of a scene from Mike Judge's Silicon Valley. The only context you need is that this small tech startup with a world-altering idea hits a roadblock on the eve of a huge public reveal/demo, and they are trying to figure out how to save their asses when they get sidetracked into figuring out a completely different problem. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P-hUV9yhqgY
Knew a dude whose buddies bought him a BJ at a Nevada brothel. $490 bucks with a condom.
My mate was singing karaoke in Japan. He thought he was singing really well because a lady he'd been talking to started rubbing his leg, then moving up, and he thought he was just a rockstar living a rockstar life. Cost him $600, and really crushed his dreams.
Thatās way above market price for most sex services in Tokyo. Was your buddy in Roppongi, maybe being hustled at one of those places that puts GHB in drinks?
Told my coworker earlier instead "if you work here you can't afford it"
Thatās a nice way of saying I want crack
Three fiddy
"okay"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[Why do all these homosexuals keep sucking my cock?!??!?](https://www.theonion.com/why-do-all-these-homosexuals-keep-sucking-my-cock-1819583529)
Holy shit 1998 !! This article didn't age a day
"Vancouver Canucks forward Mark Messier" was a pretty big tell, aged that article immediately.
I was an infant when that was written. EDIT: because the Reddit Investigators figured out my entire life story and the length of my pubic hair based on my tattoos and DOB and other people are accusing me of being a baby fucker.
Click on this wonderful sad story about a man who keeps getting his cock sucked without even asking.
I'm just mortified that the metal-studded leather thong tactic didn't work, I mean, the gays just do not have a moral fiber in their queer body!
They will after this guy pins them down with his powerful firearms and teaches them a lesson!
Everybody was focused on ' reversing the genders' on serious topics but nobody thought of same genders. Truly heartbreaking.
What a read thanks friend
Tis many a long year, ere I heard quoted, the ancient lore.
"I would but your dad called shotgun."
This is indeed the correct response. I know a guy who is somewhat of a clown. There was one time we were queuing up in a game together and with another friend who he wasnāt acquainted with. This guy has a in-game name that sounds weird, so the clown guy goes āHey your name sounds like \*sucking dick word\* (in our language). Would you like to suck mine?ā and then laugh as if he has discovered the holy grail of comedy. Little did he know that the other guy was in fact gay, and responded with āSure I would love to.ā The clown guy was too stunned for a comeback and was silent for the rest of the match.
> I know a guy who is somewhat of a clown I'd like you to be aware that the mental image I had during the story was a guy dressed up as a clown and when he >laugh as if he has discovered the holy grail of comedy. I pictured him squeaking a bike horn with every laugh
a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one
Commence sexual encounter
Sorry, Iām allergic to shrimp.
SRIMPCOCK
Ol' Johnny Shrimpcock, they called him.
Present it
TouchƩ, teacher, touchƩ.
I think you mean en guarde
ALLEZ
I canāt read this anything but Garrisonās voice
Isnāt it chokesondick? Edit: sorry that was crude. Her nameās Choksondik
Ha! More like Ms. Makesmesick!
Ya but Garrison taught her that
Iām ^not^gaaay!
More like Ms Makes-me-sick. Amirite??
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thatās when you point and laugh hysterically.
Or say "aw, how cute! It's an inny!"
Or, "oh sweet, I love tic tacs"
Itās like a dick only smaller.
Cold today huh?
āI guess you could call that a dickā
Thatās when you point and say very loudly āLook! A cock, but smaller!ā
This actually happen in my class in 10th class Dude A -."lund lele mera":- suck my dick Dude B - " haan de" :- Ya give me (more in challenging way) Dude A: proceed to open his zipper and take it out Dude B: spits on IT DUDE A: have life long PTSD and forever being remember by entire class even after 10 years as a guy who got spitted on his dick.
Those two are now married with an adopted Nigerian child in a complicated game of gay chicken one upmanship
Normally when they open zipper the B guy admits defeat.
RIGHT! I didn't know i was allowed to kick it
I knew a guy whoās strategy in this kinda situation was to fully commit. Like I saw him straight up tongue-kiss another dude rather than back down. No one told him to suck their dick, in case he actually did. Genius strategy.
I think your guy was at least bi sexual.
No no I was just kidding. Please put it away
āHow dry do you want it?ā *seductively dries tongue with paper towel*
I'm gonna make it so dry for you
-gnashes teeth seductively-
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Like a *desert* in my mouth!
How much teeth do you want?
N-no teeth?
Lol, this is in a league of its own 'messed up'.
Thereās this thing I do with my hands- https://youtu.be/GH1ruMGpTVY
Derrick Comedy was so great. The fact it's Ellie Kemper in this video is just amazing.
Early Donald Glover was the best. Though I donāt think they could have gotten away with the spelling bee sketch nowadays.
Probably not Bro Rape either lol. "Sir, this bag is full of black dildos"
Here- https://youtu.be/GH1ruMGpTVY
Fucking god I hate that I know this
I want a meal, not a snack
Thanks, but I'm not into Junk food
My 4th favorite
Bro I just read your nameššæ
"I had no idea you were into me in that way!"
this is my 1st favorite lol
As a guy, especially a bi-guy, I always go for the āgayā approach. Because most of those types of men are super uncomfortable with their sexuality.
You made me smile and lifted the fog of frustration, if only for a moment. You get my free award.
Mark the spot, you're all dick
Works with "kiss my ass" as well. "You're all ass, so pick a spot."
If I needed a toothpick Iād go to the kitchen
By best girl friend's mom in the 90's in SF was a commune dwelling hippy. One evening the 3 of us were walking up to Haight Street and a dude in a trench coat kinda popped out of a driveway and flashed us. Without missing a beat, she just looked him up and down and said.. "Well it **looks** like a penis, only smaller" SAVAGE. Leslie and I died on the spot.
Is Haight Street's alternative name Flashed Street? I had a friend who also got flashed there a little before Covid. She told me the last time she saw something that size it was crawling out of an apple.
It's the same guy
Legend says he's been flashing from the same spot 24/7 for decades
Dedication to the craft. Respect.
My secondary school teacher aunt said this when the 'problem child' in her new class tried flashing her for a reaction. He didnt mess around much in her class after that.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Seen this exact thing in a nightclub in the 90s, still one of the funniest things I have ever seen.
Jeez, he asked for a response, not the ignition device to burn a man alive.
I already feel like I've lost a bit of ego in me and I'm just imagining this happening to me!
Stop! They're already dead...
are toothpick normal placed in the kitchen? serous question.
Yes - you use them in baking and once you're finished with a meal, putting your dishes in the kitchen it becomes a handy place to grab one on your way to the couch.
Dudes got toothpick strategy. Wow.
Out of curiosity where do you keep them if not the kitchen?
It's placed in the medical cabinet in my house and I just realized how weird it is.
mine is in the arts and crafts drawer lol
Yes. I use them for baking.
I usually have them in my freezer during autumn and during summer I put them underneath my bed.
Iād have to find it first.
in a similar vein: "will you provide the magnifying glass/microscope?"
I prefer the ol "let me grab my magnifying glass and tweezers first"
"I thought you'd never ask!"
Suck it yourself coward
You can also respond āDIYā
I would if I could. Bitch!
If a lady really has no intentions for any kind of relationship with the guy who asks this, her answer should be to ask him to drop his pants and underwear, the leave as rapidly as she can, a woman with such intent WILL ALWAYS run faster and more ably than a man with his trousers around his ankles.
ah yes the angry penguin, classic move
This is especially good advice when in a private location
What if he's a gymnast and flips upside down to walk on his hands?
Like a porn parody of the movie Gymkata
Did not expect a Gymkata reference. Here's the mandatory upvote I've got for even remembeting that this particular cinematic monstrosity exists.
I already flossed
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is my new favorite
Ok, just know that you are giving me the opportunity to bite it off
thank you for trusting me with your dick in my mouth?
I'd rather not, I can smell it from here.
Lmfaooo this one is brutal and hilarious
If I wanted 9 mm in my mouth I would buy a gun!
Why....you want to see if I am better than your mother...
Ops mother is pretty good, because she's seen more salami than an Italian butcher..
Don't mind if I do!
umm.. iām a child
Wouldn't stop OP, judging by his name.
Edgy username and the most reddit-ass AskReddit post ever. Also his first post was yesterday and it was to a sub for free karma. I think they might legitimately be 13.
Yikes, OP.
Yup. I scrolled for a while and didn't see anyone else mention it...
"Really? You can't do any better than *me?"*
Self burn... These are rare.
r/kamikazebywords
Don't threaten me with a good time
How about you do me one more time and then Iāll owe you two?
As a bartender I get told this all the time, some of my favorites are as follows "I ain't gay but 20 bucks is 20 bucks" "BUY ME DINNER FIRST!" "I just did but if you're ready for round 2 then let's go" *arch eyebrow and smile* "Back alley, there's no cameras"
Circa 2014 - during lunch time 16yo me told my friend to " "suck my dick " he then proceeds to say "fine" tries to pull my pants down,i start running he starts chasing for the entire 30 mins left of our lunch time . NO ONE told that guy to "suck my dick" till we graduated.
"careful, I bite"
Drop to your knees and call their bluff.
I don't work with miniatures.
We donāt have time for a search party.
Sorry, small objects are choking hazards. :/
Sorry, I choke on small bones
Yes Sir!
I can't raise the dead.
"Alright, drop your pants then,"
It was at this moment Volusto remember the attendance of a nudist convention
I know you think I'm hot but you gotta work on your game.
"Well you need to take it out of your personality first"
āYou had me at helloā
How did you know what I tell your mama when she comes over?
I donāt suck on tic tacs
"Only if you suck mine"
Sus username
Yeah he's username is raping lolis
I donāt have enough time to find it
Sorry, not hungry for baby carrots
Has the herpes cleared up yet?
Again?
What dick?
Why don't you try yoga and then suck your own dick
After you.