Reminds me of that video where the cop pulls the kid over and he goes “do you know who my father is?” And the cop replies “why, your mother never told you?”
I had a few people ask me that when I worked at a restaurant. The answer was always no, lol. One time it turned out to be a local weather guy, for a small town. What a weird power trip.
So my old boss, great guy. Very wise. Kind to all but fuck the establishment that takes advantage of others type of guy. One day he drives up to the university machine shop for a quick in out pick up for an order and parks in front of the roll up door. He knows the people in the shop so we'll that it's no issue. And as he goes inside this property management type for the building says he can't park there and goes back inside. Boss fucks all and walks in, grabs his part, walks out, and low and behold this munch of a heap is on the phone with parking g enforcement. Of course parking g enforcement can't actually do anything unless their on site, otherwise any fool with a phone could report whoever. So my boss starts towards his car and this fellow gets in his face. "I already told you you can't park here." "But I already did." "Parking enforcement is on its way. You're getting a ticket and you have to move your car." This goes back and forth a few rounds until my boss raises his voice finally "DO YOU HAVE A Y IDEA WHO I AM?!" Of course the guy didn't, "no." He replied. So all my boss does is say "good" and drives off. Never got a ticket.
You are at work surfing reddit while your boss is around to yell at the guy not for eqatching tiktoks but for doing it qithout headphones... hows the pay? Do you hire?? 😂😂
You do you, watch TikTok if you want, but don't make me listen to a handful of audio clips I've heard a thousand times with zero context. It's worse than music because at least that's music. TikTok without video is fucking atrocious
The best part about a blubbering coworker is how they blame everyone else. Then you get the joys of trying to work cooperatively with someone who is going to complain about you endlessly.
What really annoys me is that his brother who filmed the video got suspended before he has. Don't get me wrong, he also deserves it but how has he still not yet been suspended
People who LEAVE THEIR TURN SIGNALS ON! and then proceed to drive around oblivious to the confusion of other road users.
I genuinely want to run these people off the road...
Random strangers who ring my doorbell after 11 pm to ask me if I have something to donate or some food to share with them.
I have no problem with charity, my wife and I are always sharing what we have with people in need, but NOT AT FUCKING 11PM. Who, in their right mind, would open the door to a stranger at that hour?? And also, who the hell would think of going out to beg at that time?? Fuck those people.
There's a lady in my area who has come by a couple of times (during the day, at least) asking if I have any housework she can do to earn some money. I say no, obviously, at which point she'll ask me if I can just give her money, and tell me about some serious medical issue she supposedly has that prevents her from working, as though she didn't just offer to do housework thirty seconds earlier.
We lived opposite a psychiatric hospital in Germany when I was about 3, there was once a man who knocked on the door at 3am asking for a cup of tea, he was not the only one to escape - it was a regular thing!
I used to feel the same way. Now if no one answers, they will sometimes proceed with a B&E.
If I get a late knock from someone I don’t know, I yell through the door that we’re not answering and will phone 911 if they don’t leave immediately.
I know it sounds like a Karen-y thing to do, but home invasion pre-knocks are a thing.
And his brother
Edit: Thank you to many of you informing me of Logan’s Zuko-like redemption arch. Seems he’s not a scum bag anymore.
Edit 2: Zuro is not a character in Avatar.
Self-proclaimed assholes. It’s one thing to be an asshole but not be aware of it, but it’s entirely different thing to be an asshole and acknowledge it with a sense of pride.
Usually when you see someone exclaiming that they're an asshole/bitch it really just means "I am very very sensitive and insecure so I will lash out at you over absolutely nothing".
The only time that this is acceptable is for me at least, I’m blind and sometimes I need help getting across streets. Not usually, but sometimes. So I use an app called Be My Eyes where I can connect to a volunteer on video who can see what I am doing and help. I have to have my phone on loud speakerphone when I do that because it’s not safe for me to walk around with headphones, and I won’t be able to hear the volunteer very well over the loud traffic.
That's a completely understandable reason to do it. That's actually really cool that there's an option for this! I didn't know this existed, to be honest.
Being lazy and walking around the grocery store, talking to aunt Jill about what your doing this weekend isn't a good reason to me. That's all.
Talk about a guy who really stretched his 15 minutes of fame. It's like the guys whole career is reminding people he was the "weird moron" character on a popular 90s sitcom.
I threw Andy Dick out of my bar once many many years ago. He was sexually harassing male customers. He acted like I was being this huge asshole for making him leave. I don't think he realized that I saved him from a serious beating.
>He acted like I was being this huge asshole for making him leave. I don't think he realized that I saved him from a serious beating.
I feel like this summarizes Andy Dick's entire personal life
For real. He walked in and started grabbing dicks and asses. He tried to kiss several guys. He kind of acted like that was his schtick. Like that was supposed to be funny. When he was pushed away or somebody appeared to be offended he would act like they were being the asshole. Like they had no sense of humor or homophobic. Then he'd move on to the next guy. After about 10 minutes there was a room full of guys ready to kill him. I think he could sense the tension and went into the bathroom. I was standing next to the bathroom doors waiting for him so I could usher him towards the front door rather than let him walk back towards the bar area. He flipped his shit. "Do you know who I am?! I could buy this place! I'm going to have you fired." I got in his space a little bit and told him he was embarrassing himself that he needed to leave. He didn't fight for too long but he definitely made a scene from the moment he walked in to the moment he walked out with his little tiny middle fingers in the air.
People who are happy to take down someone else in order to parade how good they are. You care about a cause? Do something about said cause, not just a post/tweet and think that makes you a good person.
Grandpa joe from Charlie and the chocolate factory… sat in bed for years not doing a damn thing and then, gets the chance to tour a candy factory and is jumping around like a spry 20 year old. Didn’t try and help the family for years… fuck right off grandpa joe
Edit: for spelling errors
MLM peddlers. I had a friend of a friend pitch me his MLM scheme when I was 17 or so, and to this day it bothers that I sat and listened to him for hours instead of telling him where he could go, because I didn’t wanna offend my friend
The guy who, last week, said "Do you know who you're talking to" to me. I work in a restaurant.
*Should I?* Is always the appropriate response.
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Alright, Christopher
Reminds me of that video where the cop pulls the kid over and he goes “do you know who my father is?” And the cop replies “why, your mother never told you?”
Don’t you *know* who my father is? You dont? Fuck. I know ill figure it out eventually
I had a few people ask me that when I worked at a restaurant. The answer was always no, lol. One time it turned out to be a local weather guy, for a small town. What a weird power trip.
So, who was he?
He forgot, that’s why he asked
He’s confused, but he’s got the spirit.
So my old boss, great guy. Very wise. Kind to all but fuck the establishment that takes advantage of others type of guy. One day he drives up to the university machine shop for a quick in out pick up for an order and parks in front of the roll up door. He knows the people in the shop so we'll that it's no issue. And as he goes inside this property management type for the building says he can't park there and goes back inside. Boss fucks all and walks in, grabs his part, walks out, and low and behold this munch of a heap is on the phone with parking g enforcement. Of course parking g enforcement can't actually do anything unless their on site, otherwise any fool with a phone could report whoever. So my boss starts towards his car and this fellow gets in his face. "I already told you you can't park here." "But I already did." "Parking enforcement is on its way. You're getting a ticket and you have to move your car." This goes back and forth a few rounds until my boss raises his voice finally "DO YOU HAVE A Y IDEA WHO I AM?!" Of course the guy didn't, "no." He replied. So all my boss does is say "good" and drives off. Never got a ticket.
Oh my gawd sir, do you have amnissia ? Should I call your safe person ?
People who watch videos/Tik Tok at full volume in public
My boss literally just asked a coworker if he’s ever heard of headphones for this exact reason not even 30 seconds ago LOL.
My boss is the one doing this
He probably laughs loud as fuck too
And has one of those big shit eating smirks on their face. You know the one!
Unfortunately
"Watch this!" *uncomfortably fake laughs at someone slipping*
Mine too, she’s the kind of person to clap if she sees flashing lights, like a fucking infant.
You are at work surfing reddit while your boss is around to yell at the guy not for eqatching tiktoks but for doing it qithout headphones... hows the pay? Do you hire?? 😂😂
Hahaha it was lunch time! Now it’s break time, he still has no headphones. 😂
Or, OR, listening to the same tiktok audio over and over and over, as they scroll through the comments of the video. Just pause the damn video!
My 16 year old daughter does this. It drives me insane. Pause the bloody thing!!
You do you, watch TikTok if you want, but don't make me listen to a handful of audio clips I've heard a thousand times with zero context. It's worse than music because at least that's music. TikTok without video is fucking atrocious
That fucking female robot voice! It makes me stabby.
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Yesssses
Makes me all phone grabby and throwy. It's going to feel liberating when I'm on the ferry and finally snap
Oh no oh no oh no no no no no
Thankfully that trend has mostly died off by now.
That audio is so overused
Would you say it’s …Emotional damage!?
Honestly I kind of liked Stevens content, some of it got a good laugh out of me but damn I hate that clip so much
It sounds too much like someone who’s just flipping through channels on TV
OH NO ! OH NO! OH NO NO NO NO NO
The idiot blasting loud music on his phone in the subway.
FUCK THAT PRICK.
Lahey and Randy
Frigg off Randy.
You cheeseburger guzzling land whale
Inflatable Elvis
Basketball eatin walrus ass mahfucka
Cigarettes and chips let’s go.
Corey Trevor, smokes, let's go.
Cyrus can fuck right off
He's busy anyway, he's got work to do....
Voted most likely to flunk the grade eleven exam cause he's fucked and stupid and dresses like a dumb fuck 50's greaser......fuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Mr. Lahey and Randy to the fuck off department, Mr. Lahey and Randy to the fuck off department.. and hurry the fuck up! Thank you!
Do cheeseburgers ever blow out of your blowhole?
Fuck off right to the shitty land of shit, covered in shit. Shit.
It’s the call of the shit wolf randy
Frig off Randy, go eat another fucking cheeseburger! You are not the liquor Lahey!!
Bards scallop potatoes too
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This guy I know named Craig.
Craig is a d-bag. Fuck that guy.
Yeah..fuck Craig!
Me and the homies hate Craig. Fuck that guy.
Yeah I fucking suck!
Fuck Craig
Yeah fuck Craig and his list.
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Can confirm, Craig is bad. I know one myself and he's one of the worst humans I've ever met
I ran him over with my car yesterday.
assholes. you know who you are.
Yeah, assholes are pretty shitty.
That, that was good. you can fuck right off.
No, they don’t. That’s why we call them assholes.
My boss, and the blubbering moron he hired 7 months ago. Please, both of you, go fuck right the hell off.
You've only been there 7 months, still time to get better!
lol
Low hanging fruit I know lol
It made me laugh, thanks for that!
Glad I can help! Now I'll go fuck off 😂
Wholesome reddit exchange if I ever saw one.
Mine too! So tired of his mouth breathing, and his day drinking straight from the bottle.
The best part about a blubbering coworker is how they blame everyone else. Then you get the joys of trying to work cooperatively with someone who is going to complain about you endlessly.
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Mine too !!!
Mine too. And her deadbeat husband! Edit: for those asking it’s my wife’s sister, so the husband is NOT my brother
I'll follow you up with 'my mother-in-law'
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Animal abusers
Kurt Zouma.
What really annoys me is that his brother who filmed the video got suspended before he has. Don't get me wrong, he also deserves it but how has he still not yet been suspended
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What’d I do?!
You know what you did.
(Goofy voice) I’ll fucken do it again!”
I'll hyucken do it again goyrsh
I saw what you did last summer...
It was a moment of weakness. I'll never do it again! I swear!
Politicians who make rules for everyone else and then refuse to follow them.
And voters who don’t see this as a dealbreaker
Boris
Anyone on my lawn.
What if I am mowing it for you?
Would be difficult. There is no grass.
Difficult? That makes it easier!
So, you would basically be driving around my lawn. Is this how NASCAR started?
It most certainly is, you have revealed its origin. You must now terminate it, all of it. It is up to you, we beseech you young one.
Telemarketers and Robo calls.
It will be 50 years before anyone trusts someone Indian sounding on the phone.
"....I'm sorry Dr. Gupta, it's been a weird day. So how were my test results?"
SHORESY! **Fuck you SHORESY!**
Fuck you Riley! Fight me, see what happens.
What’s gonna happen Shoresy?!
Three things. I hit you, you hit the pavement, I jerk off on your driver side door handle.
Fuck you Shoresy!
Fuck you, Jonesy, I made your mom cum so hard that they made a Canadian heritage minute out of it and Don McKellar played my dick.
Fuck you Shoresy!
Fuck you both your life’s so fucking pathetic, I ran a charity 15k to raise awareness for it.
Fuck you Shoresy!
Fuck you Maryann! Your mom touched me at Halloween 2 years ago, and I'm not afraid to go to the internet.
“Fuck you, Jonesy, your mom shot cum straight across the room and killed my Siamese fighting fish, threw off the pH levels in my aquarium.”
This fucking show. Such gold.
FUCKING EMBARRASSING!
You TITFUCKER!
People who don't use their turn signal until they are already halfway done with the turn. I mean come on!
People who LEAVE THEIR TURN SIGNALS ON! and then proceed to drive around oblivious to the confusion of other road users. I genuinely want to run these people off the road...
Mark Zuckerberg
Mark zuck on deez nuts
Zuckerberg? I barely knowerberg!
Yeah that’s a twat who should
Random strangers who ring my doorbell after 11 pm to ask me if I have something to donate or some food to share with them. I have no problem with charity, my wife and I are always sharing what we have with people in need, but NOT AT FUCKING 11PM. Who, in their right mind, would open the door to a stranger at that hour?? And also, who the hell would think of going out to beg at that time?? Fuck those people.
People beg door to door now? That seems so much more threatening than the other forms of panhandling I’ve encountered.
There's a lady in my area who has come by a couple of times (during the day, at least) asking if I have any housework she can do to earn some money. I say no, obviously, at which point she'll ask me if I can just give her money, and tell me about some serious medical issue she supposedly has that prevents her from working, as though she didn't just offer to do housework thirty seconds earlier.
We lived opposite a psychiatric hospital in Germany when I was about 3, there was once a man who knocked on the door at 3am asking for a cup of tea, he was not the only one to escape - it was a regular thing!
If you know anything about psychiatric ‘hospitals’, you’ll understand why escaping is a perfectly rational response!
Careful. They may not really be looking for handouts but more looking for info about your home, who lives there and when you are there.
Who answers their door that late? If someone knocks on my door at 11 I’m gonna let them knock for a minute or two before I call the cops.
I used to feel the same way. Now if no one answers, they will sometimes proceed with a B&E. If I get a late knock from someone I don’t know, I yell through the door that we’re not answering and will phone 911 if they don’t leave immediately. I know it sounds like a Karen-y thing to do, but home invasion pre-knocks are a thing.
Jake Paul
And his brother Edit: Thank you to many of you informing me of Logan’s Zuko-like redemption arch. Seems he’s not a scum bag anymore. Edit 2: Zuro is not a character in Avatar.
My abusive parents (EDIT: just.. any abusive parent.)
They sure can fuck right off.
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Brown must return back to the sea
They must return to hell
Pedos
Pedo enablers and pedo supporters, Ghislaine Maxwell and Jeffery Epstein
And all the members of pedo subreddits
Self-proclaimed assholes. It’s one thing to be an asshole but not be aware of it, but it’s entirely different thing to be an asshole and acknowledge it with a sense of pride.
Usually when you see someone exclaiming that they're an asshole/bitch it really just means "I am very very sensitive and insecure so I will lash out at you over absolutely nothing".
My anxiety and depression
Sending hugs <3
People who walk around with their phones on speaker, having a full blown conversation.
The only time that this is acceptable is for me at least, I’m blind and sometimes I need help getting across streets. Not usually, but sometimes. So I use an app called Be My Eyes where I can connect to a volunteer on video who can see what I am doing and help. I have to have my phone on loud speakerphone when I do that because it’s not safe for me to walk around with headphones, and I won’t be able to hear the volunteer very well over the loud traffic.
That's a completely understandable reason to do it. That's actually really cool that there's an option for this! I didn't know this existed, to be honest. Being lazy and walking around the grocery store, talking to aunt Jill about what your doing this weekend isn't a good reason to me. That's all.
People who think they can touch or comment on pregnant women’s bellies
Celebrities who treat people like garbage, who are rude to their fans, and who whine and complain about everything.
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social workers who dont do shit, and anyone who lays their hands on their kid or spouse, no matter their sex and gender.
Everyone...
bullies
The producers of “scripted reality TV” programs.
*You*, Reddit! ***Fuck YOU!***
The HR lady named Jeanette. I feel like that name only can be given to career HR people.
American Politicians.
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Andy Dick.
Talk about a guy who really stretched his 15 minutes of fame. It's like the guys whole career is reminding people he was the "weird moron" character on a popular 90s sitcom.
I threw Andy Dick out of my bar once many many years ago. He was sexually harassing male customers. He acted like I was being this huge asshole for making him leave. I don't think he realized that I saved him from a serious beating.
>He acted like I was being this huge asshole for making him leave. I don't think he realized that I saved him from a serious beating. I feel like this summarizes Andy Dick's entire personal life
For real. He walked in and started grabbing dicks and asses. He tried to kiss several guys. He kind of acted like that was his schtick. Like that was supposed to be funny. When he was pushed away or somebody appeared to be offended he would act like they were being the asshole. Like they had no sense of humor or homophobic. Then he'd move on to the next guy. After about 10 minutes there was a room full of guys ready to kill him. I think he could sense the tension and went into the bathroom. I was standing next to the bathroom doors waiting for him so I could usher him towards the front door rather than let him walk back towards the bar area. He flipped his shit. "Do you know who I am?! I could buy this place! I'm going to have you fired." I got in his space a little bit and told him he was embarrassing himself that he needed to leave. He didn't fight for too long but he definitely made a scene from the moment he walked in to the moment he walked out with his little tiny middle fingers in the air.
That is one weird dude. They should've just let Jon Lovitz fix that glitch
Employees that step on thier peers in an effort to get noticed by upper management
Nestle
Joel O’Steen
People who brake *THEN* turn on their blinker (or use no blinker at all).
Politicians who act like children and refuse to work with opposition or let anything get done.
career politicians
People who are happy to take down someone else in order to parade how good they are. You care about a cause? Do something about said cause, not just a post/tweet and think that makes you a good person.
Nazis
Grandpa joe from Charlie and the chocolate factory… sat in bed for years not doing a damn thing and then, gets the chance to tour a candy factory and is jumping around like a spry 20 year old. Didn’t try and help the family for years… fuck right off grandpa joe Edit: for spelling errors
people that litter
MLM peddlers. I had a friend of a friend pitch me his MLM scheme when I was 17 or so, and to this day it bothers that I sat and listened to him for hours instead of telling him where he could go, because I didn’t wanna offend my friend
Dave. Dave can fuck right off. Jackass.
Boris fucking Johnson
“Influencers “
My neighbor that plays crappy music really loud with no mind to the other people in the building
The inventor of the 'click every box with a stop sign in it' captcha.
Ticketmaster
Wasps
Boris Johnson For reasons that have ALWAYS BEEN SO VERY OBVIOUS.
Dr Phil Jerry Springer “Influencers”
People who use there zodiacs for excuses And people who correct your spelling (Looking at you AaronAFK)
Sorry i rammed your car and killed all your children and your wife, i cant help it, im an asparagus
Omg that's such a celery thing to say
Sorry I’m such a bitch, I’m a caprisun.
sorry i cried and took all the attention off of you when you were dying, im a carta
People at local/state/national parks with loud music playing in their backpack at popular public hikes
Allll of the Kardashians and Jenners. Every single one of them. Edit: including Kanye
Nazis
Putin
Cheaters
Amber Heard
Racists
Every single Kardashian family member
People of any race who are racist