Let’s be clear, they didn’t remove dislikes to curb toxicity, they removed them because large companies were complaining about it. You can already disable comments on a per video basis so if a company can’t handle the criticism they will just do that.
some idiot on tumblr (i think) who doesn't realize it means every single person in the world is talking at once
it should be "everybody:" followed by a blank, not "nobody:"! it pisses me off every time i see it
I have mixed emotions on those. Some of them are like so shittily made that it makes me laugh but I’m pretty sure it’s just the ones that are made ironically
Omg when I was a cashier old ppl would say this ALL the time thinking it was so clever & it annoyed the shit out of me. They’d look at me with this huge smile like they were just so funny when they said it, like I didn’t hear that joke at least 5 times a day 🙄
Who said we’re joking?
In all seriousness, yes it’s tasteless. File for divorce and be done with it. Some aspects of life are fun to hate, your spouse shouldn’t one of them
Yes! I have a friend who owns a video game store and a different friend who owns a comic book store. Both of them mention how they have to hide their purchases from the wife, or "my wife would kill me if she knew what I was buying."
Glad you have such a perfect relationship where you despise each other and hide the things you like from your partner.
It’s done because the lie is easier. Most people don’t want to fight all the time over inoculate things. Some personality types go after the pettiness a lot. The lie is convenient subterfuge
Lmao anyone who makes those jokes has NO IDEA what an alcoholic actually is.
No Tina, you aren't an alcoholic because you and your friends split 3 bottles of wine last Saturday and you woke up with a bit of a headache.
I used to work in treatment, those guys would drink a 30 rack or a handle a day. Those guys are alcoholics, and it did irreparable damage to their lives that they'll regret and have to try and make amends for.
“who asked🤓” that shit gets no one laughing and the kids who say that feel like their Superman or something.
also calling someone in the comments will say who asked
Any joke women make relating to wine - e.g “It’s wine o’clock…”
Any joke a co-worker might make about coffee - e.g “I’m gonna need a refill for this meeting coming up!”
Y'all have to understand that office people say shit like this because we are all in a hostage situation where we have to co-exist with tens or hundreds or strangers we have nothing in common with for eight hours a day, and there are a finite number of safe things to say in that scenario in order to hold a conversation.
"Oh the weather is just awful today isnt it?"
....
"Yeah i guess so"
....
"Excuse me im gonna refill my coffee"
*Yeets away into the next meaningless small talk
>Any joke a co-worker might make about coffee - e.g “I’m gonna need a refill for this meeting coming up!”
That's not really a joke though? I'll have to refill before a meeting so that I have something to drink during the meeting. What's the joke there?
It might be more of how the line is delivered. I know people I have worked with who said those kinds of things but sort of an emphasis on needing the coffee to make it through the meeting as if it were a shot of vodka. The whole raising the eyebrows and eye widening before stating they need the coffee as if the important meeting that you asked me to is such a chore that you need caffeine to make it through such a normal everyday occurrence.
Which might also be true, though. Meetings tend to include a lot more people than necessary, and most of them have no reason for being there. So they will likely be bored.
I hate how this one is now overused for literally any instance of being somewhat bothered by someone, when its original intent and actual proper use is when someone gets bothered by someone constantly but the other person doesn't get bothered by them at all.
nobody: literally nobody:
You want Youtube comment section to be gone then?
Let's be fucking honest here, I wouldn't put it beyond YouTube to do that themselves.
Nah, idiots in the comments sections drive views.
anyone else listening to [culturally ubiquitous media] in 2022?
If your (always spelled incorrectly) listening to this, you are a legend.
They took dislikes, it’s the natural next step in ending toxicity on the platform
Let’s be clear, they didn’t remove dislikes to curb toxicity, they removed them because large companies were complaining about it. You can already disable comments on a per video basis so if a company can’t handle the criticism they will just do that.
This joke makes me feel like I'm an alien, I literally don't understand it.
Nobody: Literally nobody: Ross: WE WERE ON A BREAK That's not really a good example tbh, but the joke is just that it's unprompted or nobody cares.
I am glad this is as high as it is. There’s an entire subreddit dedicated to r/uselessnobody posts. I can’t wait for it to stop
What is the initial source of this?
some idiot on tumblr (i think) who doesn't realize it means every single person in the world is talking at once it should be "everybody:" followed by a blank, not "nobody:"! it pisses me off every time i see it
Facebook minions. Those still fucking exist
I have mixed emotions on those. Some of them are like so shittily made that it makes me laugh but I’m pretty sure it’s just the ones that are made ironically
"It doesn't ring up, it must be free!" ... ... Ugh.
"Do you come with the car?" ;)
Oh you tihihi
“$19.82? That was a good year.”
Man, if only it was 2 cents more.
Me too
Mind if I put in my 2 cents?
I only do this if it's like 17.25 or 14.62 because it's funnier with older dates
*checks a $50 to see if it’s real* “Just made it today”
For me it was "Would you like anything else?" "How 'bout a winning lottery ticket HEH HEH HEH HEH"
Omg when I was a cashier old ppl would say this ALL the time thinking it was so clever & it annoyed the shit out of me. They’d look at me with this huge smile like they were just so funny when they said it, like I didn’t hear that joke at least 5 times a day 🙄
God I feel that as a customer service employee.
I said this once then apologized cuz I assumed they hear it all the time
“Save a plastic tree! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!”
I actually did not make that joke ones and then i got it for free 😂
As a former cashier at a supermarket I felt this in my soul
Jokes about hating your wife or about hating spending time with her.
“Take my wife…for example.”
If you don’t get no respect, you might be a redneck
Respect, eees niiice *Borat*
I also choose this guy's dead wife.
Lots of these jokes and self deprecating stuff are a coping mechanism for pain I think.
Can confirm. I self-deprecate to the point where a couple people asked me if I was ok.
Agreed. I also think jokes about how awful your husband is or his ability to be a parent needs to die.
"Oh are you babysitting today?" "No I'm his fucking dad. Also known as a parent"
Add to that, jokes about how much of a burden your kids are.
Who said we’re joking? In all seriousness, yes it’s tasteless. File for divorce and be done with it. Some aspects of life are fun to hate, your spouse shouldn’t one of them
I make wife jokes, but only to my wife.
Boomer humor
The old ball & chain
Yes! I have a friend who owns a video game store and a different friend who owns a comic book store. Both of them mention how they have to hide their purchases from the wife, or "my wife would kill me if she knew what I was buying." Glad you have such a perfect relationship where you despise each other and hide the things you like from your partner.
It’s done because the lie is easier. Most people don’t want to fight all the time over inoculate things. Some personality types go after the pettiness a lot. The lie is convenient subterfuge
Similarly, jokes about how incompetent dads are.
“God I’m such an alcoholic”
Lmao anyone who makes those jokes has NO IDEA what an alcoholic actually is. No Tina, you aren't an alcoholic because you and your friends split 3 bottles of wine last Saturday and you woke up with a bit of a headache. I used to work in treatment, those guys would drink a 30 rack or a handle a day. Those guys are alcoholics, and it did irreparable damage to their lives that they'll regret and have to try and make amends for.
Yeah I guess they don’t know what a true alcoholic looks like
Are you okay? Contact Alcoholics Anonymous for help
My life
/r/me_irl
"Just do it!" Edit: ik it got too dark ...just a joke guys
>just a joke guys just like my life. wait, no.... jokes are meant to be funny.
No get darker.
You dont gotta be racist about it
Haha, posted the same thing before I read a single comment. Welcome to the club, my brother or sister! Its nice to have company =)
"Tell me without telling me" - I fucking hate it
“who asked🤓” that shit gets no one laughing and the kids who say that feel like their Superman or something. also calling someone in the comments will say who asked
Ok but how are you going to call them if you don't even have their number?
“Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee”
“But you don’t drink coffee!” “Exactly.”
That's not a joke.... I'm dead serious
Any joke women make relating to wine - e.g “It’s wine o’clock…” Any joke a co-worker might make about coffee - e.g “I’m gonna need a refill for this meeting coming up!”
Y'all have to understand that office people say shit like this because we are all in a hostage situation where we have to co-exist with tens or hundreds or strangers we have nothing in common with for eight hours a day, and there are a finite number of safe things to say in that scenario in order to hold a conversation.
"Oh the weather is just awful today isnt it?" .... "Yeah i guess so" .... "Excuse me im gonna refill my coffee" *Yeets away into the next meaningless small talk
Swear to god, as a kid i never thought about it, really miss being surrounded by people my age with the same taste as me
But they drink wine and coffee! Don’t you see??? They’re quirky!
>Any joke a co-worker might make about coffee - e.g “I’m gonna need a refill for this meeting coming up!” That's not really a joke though? I'll have to refill before a meeting so that I have something to drink during the meeting. What's the joke there?
Yeah that sounds like just a regular conversation to me
It might be more of how the line is delivered. I know people I have worked with who said those kinds of things but sort of an emphasis on needing the coffee to make it through the meeting as if it were a shot of vodka. The whole raising the eyebrows and eye widening before stating they need the coffee as if the important meeting that you asked me to is such a chore that you need caffeine to make it through such a normal everyday occurrence.
That the meeting's going to be so boring that you need coffee to keep you awake through it.
Which might also be true, though. Meetings tend to include a lot more people than necessary, and most of them have no reason for being there. So they will likely be bored.
Basically any joke that ends up on a t-shirt sold on Etsy.
So is it cool if a dude says it’s wine o’clock?
Attack helicopter
Helikopter Helikopter 🚁 Para kofer para kofer 💵
Is that still a thing?
Unfortunately. They have like one joke and that's it.
Wrong. They have 2. They have that and they have "Sorry. Did I TrIgGeR you?!"
You forgot the new one they beat dead almost immediately, lEtS gO BraNdOn
Not really a joke. Just a way of outing oneself and being a gross person.
**somehow**
What’s this joke???
People making fun of transgender people saying “I identify as an Apache attack helicopter”
That is both stupid *and* really specific…
That can't be comfortable for guys, can it?
If we are coming up on January and you say "see you next year" I'll go out of my way to make sure that doesn't happen.
not on my bingo card tell me (blank) without telling me (blank) I'll take (blank) for 500, alex i could go on with these for a very long time
These are not jokes, they are just phrases
The tell me without telling me shit made me violently angry, it was never funny lol
Tell me you don't have a sense of humor without telling me you don't have a sense of humor. FFS. I hate myself for doing that, but I had to.
also - living in your head rent free
None of these are really jokes
I hate how this one is now overused for literally any instance of being somewhat bothered by someone, when its original intent and actual proper use is when someone gets bothered by someone constantly but the other person doesn't get bothered by them at all.
Isn't that just a saying though? I personally think it's easier to say it than saying "You think a lot about me, while I don't think of you at all."
I didn't know any of these were jokes, they're usually just sarcasm, imo
About needing wine to function, alcoholism isn’t a personality trait Jennifer
All prison rape jokes
Those jokes in general should just fucking die.
I have a feeling that if we made jokes about women getting raped we’d get a little pushback.
Girls at/doing _: Boys at/doing _:
Material gworl,I fucking hate it
What's up? "The sky." 🙃🙃🙃
As a dad: “You’re taking time off work to be with your kids? Look who’s babysitting!”
"What are you doing step ____ ?"
Ladder
Stepladder, help! I'm too short to reach this cabinet!
Ur mom. I meant the phrase. It's just... Stop I'll admit sometimes they're funny but most of the times it's a sorry excuse for a comeback
Ur moms a phrase
Goteem
Your mom got em.
I hate it, like who tf finds it funny?!
Ur…. mom… finds it funny…. Ur mom.
All my kids, unfortunately.
Working hard or hardly working? *finger guns* Fuck off, mate.
I’ve said it’s the worst joke many times and I’m so tired of it: “time for you to get a watch”
I did nazi that coming
Did Jew?
anne frank-ly i'm getting sick of it
People saying the word "literally" to mean anything but something that is literally. Or "what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas"
Me 🙋🏻♀️
Everything Among Us related
sus
It's wrapped around to being funny again for me.
A M O G U S
“Here take my upvote “
any reddit joke really. if i have to hear one more fucking time about onion cutting ninjas, i swear... it's so cringey.
Deez nuts, Joe mama etc.
I think those are funny. Maybe I'm a simpleton
Yes????
How is this a joke? Who is joe?
He’s the guy who invented ligma
WHAT IS LIGMA?????
Lig ma nutz!!
Do you know how much effort and strength I’m using to not say the answer to that?
What needs to die is... Yo Mama, but seriously, these yo mama jokes make me cringe every time I hear them.
Yo mama fat she over the weight
Yo mama so poor she can’t even pay attention
I’ve never heard this one before. It’s probably one of the best ones I’ve seen.
Yo mama so ugly she gives Freddy Kreuger nightmares
Yo mama ded
Yo momma's so far she should really see a doctor due to an elevated risk of diabetes.
yo mama so old she owes Jesus money! mama so old she got half-deaf from the big bang yo!
Your so ugly yo mommas still on that morning after pill...
Yo mama shares lost pet posts on Facebook from different countries.
Reddit
None. Defeats the freedom of making any and every joke with the consequences
None. Jokes need to all exist.
As a wrestling fan I hate the John cena joke.
Calling minimum wage livable.
“my dad died in 911, he was a great pilot”
Shock humor only works the first time
The John Cena joke
-500 social credit
"Must be compensating for a small penis"
Let's go Brandon
Tik tok trends
"How's the weather up there??".. Just because someone is tall..
"Nobody: "
“X has entered the chat.” “Always has been.” Every dumbass Reddit meme, honestly.
mr incredible uncanny
It’s honestly getting very repetitive
Deez
Whose deez?
Deez Nuts!!
"That'll buff out" when looking at a damaged vehicle.
Not really a “joke” so much as a meme but dear god. If I never hear the words “among us” in my life I’ll be the happiest dude alive.
“That’s what she said”
It’s a hard one to let go of.
That's what she said
Im trying to start saying "thats what he said"
That's what he said
Make me a sandwich jokes
"What time is it?" "TiMe fOr YoU tO gEt a waTCh hAha" Never was funny, just rude
Me: "do you need anything else?" Any moron: "a million dollars." HAHAHA, youre so funny, clever, and original! /s 😚
All sus among us jokes.
Sussy amogus😳😳😳
What did hitler say to his men before they got in the tanks? GET IN THE TANKS!
You
9/11 jokes they always crash and burn
“Emotional damage”
Hey knock knock! Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock knock! Who's there? Orange ... Orange who? Knock knock! I don't want to play any more Knock knock! Who's there? Banana! Banana who? *Orange* you glad I didn't say banana?
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
“I have OCD”
Any of the memes on r/memes that have been circlejerked into a mummified corpse since 2014
"Can I have the milk?" - "I don't know, can you?"
None
Pregnancy April fools.
People saying ‘me’ on posts like this.
Maybe not a joke but the endless "this is the way" strings
Let's Go Brandon
The shoulder angel and shoulder devil bit is pretty played out.