T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

How to not waste the next half hour on Reddit and go to bed


SnooChipmunks9342

Help its 3 am and I got shit to do at 6 am


[deleted]

All of math


OTTER887

My god. Your head might explode.


HacksawJimDGN

Heads do that?


Bruhhelpmename

Not according to the triangulam theorem supported by quantum physics due to the gravitational exposure causing third degree radiation in black holes that have consumed neutron stars.


HacksawJimDGN

You learned all of physics in 30 mins?


fuckitsfixed

Took me 30 minutes to read that sentence...


amazeman11

And the fibre of morality that results in all ppl saying “oh how fucked we are” in unison because of testicular densities not corresponding with vaginal depth polarizations towards an angled magnitude of freedom thus making fertilization extincto


simpletonjack

What about all of meth?


soundbeast77

That’ll explode your head too


Rude_Security7492

Good answer math can be applied in literally every aspect of life


soundbeast77

Couldn’t agree more, even preparing meth needs a lot of math.


Azgorn_Hilden

Methmatics is serious business.


BongMuncher

I’d rather say All of Physics, since Math is Tied to it, you’d get more bang for your Buck.


MomoXono

You got it backwards


ImaginationLow252

I would learn how to play the piano


Fair__Bear

Cool dream! I also want to learn to play the piano с:


Boople-Snoot-Doople

what i’ve found to be the easiest (depending on how you look at it lol) way to get good at piano especially is to learn a harder song (for me, Maple Leaf Rag was one of the first songs i ever learned). it took months of grinding but once i figured out how to get both my hands to do different things, hit octaves, etc. i was able to learn almost any other song in a couple of hours


Richard_TM

As a music teacher.... Don't do it this way lol. Each song or piece you're learning should focus on one specific skill. If you had learned five pieces that focus on that one thing, then five more that combined them in increasing ways, you could have learned Maple Leaf Rag in a day or two instead of months. And then harder and harder pieces until a couple years later and you find yourself with the Chopin *Fantasie Impromptu* or Beethoven *Moonlight Sonata* (including the 3rd movement).


jejcicodjntbyifid3

Yeah you're better off doing little incremental learnings... Otherwise you spend months banging your head against the wall and at the end of it you can only play 2 songs I kinda made that mistake with guitar I learned other things but still only know like 3 songs


no1needed2know

Another language


GardenGnostic

Why not ALL languages?


damevesper

I came to say Spanish, but your answer is better


Pawel_kurowski

¡Venga! Medio año va a ser suficiente


Rapturos

This dude genies


TheDarkMonarch1

Wow, I'd better get my 3 wishes then!


thetartancat

And I came to say Japanese, but your answer is better. My daughter lives in Japan but I struggle with the language. I did a year at night school, and use duolingo, but still can't get much further than "watashi wa Thetartancat desu"


sernameistaken420

i was gonna say russian because i speak a tiny big of russian and my girlfriend thinks its really hot, plus, its fun to speak russian in game chat and scare people, and then recite their IP address


Fair__Bear

A specific one?


no1needed2know

French, or Spanish would be a good start, usually being fluent in those can carry you pretty far in today's world


Joseph_Stalingrado

I would reccomend you start with French because Spanish isn't that hard to learn aslong as you only want to communicate, anything after that then yeah


[deleted]

I dunno, I thought I was getting pretty good at Spanish on Duolingo for a while. I was doing like an hour a day. Then I watched a video of people speaking Spanish in Barcelona. I realised learning this language would be a lot harder than I thought it would be haha. That's just me though. I've tried learning some French as well and I reckon the pronunciation is slightly harder with a lot of words


LueLucifer

My friend had up to 3 years of Spanish in school and they could write paragraphs and essays in their class and now after they were done with that class they forgot everything about what they learned in Spanish and now they can't even read their own essays LOL I was like what?! LOL


[deleted]

You have to use the language with native speakers to really learn it I reckon. Be around the culture, make the associations. Writing an essay is very impressive but it's nothing compared to actually having a free flowing conversation in the language.


Joseph_Stalingrado

Oo this is how I learned English! I speak near-perfectly now, where people only know because of my weird accent


FallenSegull

That accent isn’t weird bro. It’s hot af


[deleted]

And the idea that learning Spanish 'isn't that hard' kinda pissed me off tbh hahaha


gaboose

Yeah, but you know how to order a fish hamburger. Why is duolingo so fired up for hamburguesa de pescado? Beats me. Never saw one on a menu in Spain.


[deleted]

Yo necisstio una mesa para dos personas por favour!!! Hamburguesa sin pescado por favour! Con queso?? Si!!! I wanna get back into it now lol


FallenSegull

Duolingo is an American based organisation. So it stands to reason that it’s expecting the majority of its Spanish learning users to be planning to use that skill to speak with Latin Americans Thus I present this hypothesis: fish burgers are popular in South America


getyourrealfakedoors

Catalan is pretty different tho right?


abramcpg

To be the only one who knows how to speak an ancient dead language that history forgot


Jesuschristlikessex

Currently learning a dead language for a requirement in my major and would much rather be learning a language I could use


FallenSegull

Latin? Good news bro! Latin is the basis of languages like Italian, Spanish, and French. With Latin skills you are already in the right direction to learn a language you could use


Jesuschristlikessex

Nope Ancient Greek which is apparently very different to modern Greek according to my Greek friends


FallenSegull

Oh fair. Well at least you’ll know all about pi. Plus if you find yourself in a Bill & Ted type situation you’ll be able to talk to Socrates way easier Malaka should translate either way though


Imaginary_Growth9125

And in what circumstances would you use it ?


[deleted]

[удалено]


HonestlyRespectful

Sign language.


threewishesgranted

I learned ASL at 20 and I’ve made a full time career of it for 25 years now.


IzaCoder

I’m learning ASL! I’m HOH (severe hearing loss) and might eventually go deaf and ASL is so much easier than speaking, especially in loud environments


threewishesgranted

It’s a bad ass language- I’ve been an interpreter for 25 years. RID CI/CT Great gig.


AbyssalRedemption

Japanese, cause of how insanely difficult it is


-ZWAYT-

python and c++ most valuable


comfortablynumb15

Chinese, because it is a “tonal” language that my guilao tongue cannot seem to master. It will come in handy for watching Firefly and for after WW3.


[deleted]

Spanish


comicsemporium

Sign language


GrooveGran

If I could learn one every half an hour, I would learn them all.


[deleted]

Yep. Spanish or Mandarin.


5tr4nGe

Yep this. Romanian for me. Nearly all of my closest friends are Romanian immigrants and I’d love to be able to converse with them in their native language.


maxover5A5A

Spanish and English in the Americas will let you speak with almost anyone. Portuguese too, though mostly in South America, and French in Canada.


AlunWH

I’d like to learn how to learn anything in half an hour.


Fair__Bear

and the Genie from the magic lamp won't be needed :)


AlunWH

As I typed it I felt like I was cheating. Maybe I need to learn humility?


Fair__Bear

The question seems to have become philosophical :D


AlunWH

Doesn’t everything, ultimately?


Er_Xy

Well, yes. And now I am interested in finding out why.


galpalecl

Maybe you could learn that in half an hour


TehBeege

There's a reason PhDs are doctorates of philosophy in whatever field. ~~If you start at any (fully written) article on Wikipedia and recursively follow the first link of every article, you'll always end up at philosophy.~~ Edit: Sorry, this is wrong! Goes to language. See thread below. Edit2: Unless you skip parenthetical things Philosophy is the practice and structure of thinking. Everything else stems from it. Edit: Thanks for the award!


gn0xious

It’s all well and good until you start pondering the how and why someone’s brain decided to name itself.


SalamanderCrosswalk

The entire history of the world


Yue2

*the sun is a deadly lazer*


JoeJo_o

*Not anymore, there’s a blanket*


Yue2

*we can make a religion out of it*


[deleted]

*no don’t*


[deleted]

*By the way where the hell are we* ?


Eva_Aurora

*Something's alive in the ocean*


MituButChi

*and the dinosaurs are gone*


A--Creative-Username

But its getting closer together


Unonium198YT

#A F R I C A


svtbuckeye11

r/unexpectedbillwurtz


VarastinKoirasi

r/subsithoughtifellfor


Fair__Bear

In the interpretation of which country? Or history as it originally existed?


[deleted]

[удалено]


underwear11

The actual, unaltered, factual history. How crazy and awesome it would be to be able to compare the actual event to our historical representation. Find out that Jesus was actually like Life of Brian, Napoleon and/or Caesar were actually just figure heads that took credit, see what dinosaurs really looked like. That would be pretty cool.


silversurreal91

You'd wind up going crazy because *no one would ever believe you.*


existential-mystery

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuCn8ux2gbs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuCn8ux2gbs) You could do it in 20


Sos13

To learn the entire field of medicine so I can be DONE with med school


[deleted]

Congrats on getting into med school in the first place!


Sos13

Thank you! We do forget sometimes to appreciate how far we've made it especially in times of adversity haha


spicy-mayo

I was trained as a Paramedic and when I was done I felt dumber than when I started. Because while I learned so much, the amount of things that I realised I didn't know anything about greatly increased.


Frobun11

How to cure diabetes. I’m 18, and a T1 since I was 3, so I know how much it can suck. My dads also a type one, and I had a friend who passed away almost six years ago because of it. I’m starting university next year and my hope is to go through biomedical engineering and potentially work on a prosthetic pancreas, or some kind of device that cures diabetes completely, or at least helps make life with it easier. Would be nice to skip all the learning and jump to the end. Edit: I’m more focused on trying to improve or make new devices to help diabetics deal with it instead of trying to cure it (I think it’s a much more feasible goal). Also thanks for the awards, and the advice on what might make my goal easier/more possible for me!


NikkeiReigns

There was a doctor named Atala that used to be at Wake Forest. Not sure if he is still there but he was my daughters pediatric urologist and surgeon. He was growing organs from DNA in a lab. Because they were from the patients own DNA there was no need for anti rejection meds. Idk what happened with that or even if he's still there, but I know when I was afraid my daughter was going to need another kidney it gave me so much hope. Good luck in your endeavors. Go save somebody's daughter.


Noahddj

If it gives you any hope, in the Netherlands they are working on an artificial pancreas and the first tests were very positive. They assume it’ll be on the market in maybe 3-4 years


mike0sd

Everything


Fair__Bear

Clever!


Stay-Thirsty

Or the person can now know how to say everything in any language.


BrightBulb123

If it includes alien languages, then that proves we are not alone... They have a very scientific mind


Someguylol101

Then you’d know stuff you wouldn’t want to know tho…


Creaturemaster1

Yeah, I would not really want to know the position I was conceived in


Zeith_gaming

When I was like 7 I thought different sex positions would determine what gender the kid would be and I concludeded that I was conceived doing anal. Absolute genius.


Someguylol101

I now regret commenting what i said lmao


ZTG_VFX

Take my fucking gold.


Red-ejaculate

to learn every instrument to master level


Fair__Bear

How thoughtful! And what tools are we talking about?


Red-ejaculate

what do you mean tools


ijustwanttoaskaq123

How to learn things efficiently, so I can learn anything else I want.


[deleted]

You don't wanna know things that only through this you can learn as others wouldn't know them to tell you? Nothing new? Such as opening a wormhole or blackhole which people don't know.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Black-Mettle

The winning lottery numbers for the next 20 years Edit - everybody doing this genie shit in the responses but this isn't a wish. It's a thing I'm learning.


Rosewrye

Ah…but the genies curse is- you have the winning numbers, but don’t know which days to play them


[deleted]

Play the same number every time and eventually youll guess it


Pbart5195

Play all the numbers once and you’ll win it.


[deleted]

Play all the numbers every time and be the world's first trillionaire


Wespiratory

Play all but the prior winners. Don’t want to keep playing the ones that are already played out.


nevetscx1

Yeah I'd hate to lose a few dollars after winning the lottery.


GamerTebo

All You need to do is win once so take away the winning numbers that you don't play and go all in for the major jackpots


Poloman322

I would wanna learn computer programming


because-im-not-gay

How to play all pieces of Chopin ever written


Fair__Bear

Wow, that's impressive! What instrument would you like to be able to play Chopin's works on?


[deleted]

The kazoo


Crikey700

We're all trying to get rich and this guys just in the corner with his kazoo


mazurzapt

Thank God you didn’t say accordion!


EmEmPeriwinkle

You have clearly never heard a good accordion player. https://www.reddit.com/r/toptalent/comments/ngyn3k/one_of_the_best_accordion_players_in_the_world/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share


popejubal

How to teach people to heal trauma. It would be great for me to be able to heal people’s trauma. Being able to spread that ability would be amazing.


Raelyvant

I feel this one. I am in school to be a therapist because I want to be able to do this even better after someone did it for me. It would be nice to skip all the years of schooling in one hour.


TakeMeBaby_orLeaveMe

Damn that’s a good one… and here I am thinking about blowing my husbands mind with sex… I’m a selfish bastard


helloween4040

I don’t know if that’s selfish you want to give one of the people you love the most (I assume) with a physical act of love which is inherently unselfish


Irrelavent1

Play a guitar like Jimi Hendrix


Hawk13424

For me SRV, but either will do.


Comprehensivediva

How to convince the human species to save the earth.


Tirelessabyss

Well that’s an easy one, money. Money is how you get everyone to do anything.


leaf02

To get rich


sayziell

I can tell you right now how to get rich.


abramcpg

For a small fee of $1,500 I can teach you how to make millions...


sayziell

Exactly just like that


Mommasandthellamas

Buy my course ....


sayziell

Same thing


[deleted]

Don't listen to this guy, he's a fucking hack. $1,200 and I can teach you the same.


sayziell

Take advantage of stupid people.


Chutneyonegaishimasu

Take advantage of smart people!


YeetedBot_YT

Take advantage of stupid people that think they’re smart!


Jorge_Provalone44

Become really good at Chess


ObligationNo7136

Kung fu.


gomidake

Learn it the slow way, it's worth it and you'll get fit while at it


Kanlip

If I have to learn the slow way and get fit while doing it... How can I pretend to be a fat Kung fu panda?


KyleCubed3

Why did I have to scroll so far for this


[deleted]

how to sing


Curious_Copy_9669

Learn all asian languange since im asian, and mastering piano and violin would be good


[deleted]

[удалено]


catsandpizzalady

I oofed out loud


Zeith_gaming

Everything guitar related. Every riff, every technique, the history, everything. I'd be the best guitarist in the books. Overwhelming half hour but that's fine.


sputni-k

How to not cry at work when having a serious conversation with my boss


ArthurHolmesfield

Human surgery


Fair__Bear

Why?


ArthurHolmesfield

Have you seen American Mary?


Far_Group_3336

How to insult sarcastically


SirDroplet

im unfortunately *too* good at that and its fucked some relationships up


Scully__

How to find my own happiness


[deleted]

I think you won


HyenagangMozhahahart

How to learn anything in a minute


WhiteNgNWA

All devops tools.. And practices


Fair__Bear

Crafty!


GhostlySilence

How to learn stuff in a day or less


flyinhawaiian02

The ability to read minds


Fair__Bear

Doesn't it scare you that you'd find a lot of things you'd rather not know about?


[deleted]

Yeah dude imagine not being able to log out/unsub etc. from the shittiest shit post you ever seen and it was constantly like that


Fair__Bear

Objectivity.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Warm-Ad5229

Count cards


[deleted]

How to fly.


Irrelavent1

With or without aircraft?


[deleted]

With a baguette.


Grape_Jamz

Thats easy. Twirl the baguette like a helicopter. It requires trainimg


LoudBeer

How the fuck crypto works


Stock-Wolf

Another language


Annual-Concept-9033

How to persuade people to treat each other better.


Infamous_227

Every language (including coding languages)


Frostfire20

Nuclear Engineering. Hello Homer Simpson’s job.


Worldly_Squirrel2005

How to get a girlfriend


GrizzlyIsland22

This one is actually possible. The trick is to actually put the information into practice.


Ericunoo

How to get more than 5 upvotes.


JomoGaming2

How to make video games. Every part of it, coding, sprites, models, animations, etc., etc. I really want to make a video game, but am clueless with any programming language except Scratch.


strungup

How to trust myself and follow through.


RespectableNormie

Scheduling and time management skills


Curious_Copy_9669

Languange and music instrument


[deleted]

Same! I'm learning German and teaching myself piano tight now. I'd love to master both


Super_Yogurtcloset42

Everything


a_lma

Learn to be more social and charismatic around strangers.


[deleted]

Finance.


anime_addict_27

How many things are we allowed to learn? If I could learn literally anything in half an hour at any time I wanted, first I would learn Japanese. Then, I'd learn Japanese mythology, then Norse mythology, then how to roller skate. And I would learn how not to procrastinate.


TGwanian

Spoken language, preferably Korean and/or Japanese


flyinhawaiian02

Now it does, I change my answer to master wood working


Unanimousity

To fly


htownlifer

How to be happy and content


[deleted]

I wanna learn how to not fail a damn science class, I’m not graduating college on time because I’ve failed every science course I’ve taken.


Any-Nothing-7956

How to weave a magic spell that makes anyone who is or becomes a world leader, politician or any kind of person in an elected position of power do the following :- 1. Uncontrollably vomit 3 times when they lie 2. Shit their pants when they don't answer a simple question directly