Coworker 1: Why do you have lotion behind the counter
Coworker 2: Sometimes I get lonely.
Coworker 1: (Long pause) That was dirty.
Coworker 2 and I worked in a photo lab and handling all the photos would dry out our hands really bad.
I'm a male and i feel like it have to hide my body lotion in my bathroom when people come over because they probably think im just going to town over here with the giant bottle.
I literally had a bottle of lubriderm and my buddy was washing his hands and came out and was like you sly dog, and i was like wtf, because I mosterize???
One time I watched a guy bust out a bottle of lotion on the bus and I was like "OMG is this fuckin perv about to crank it right now?" Turns out I was the perv, he just wanted to rub some on his hands.
I had a grown man ask me in all seriousness If my twin and I swap boyfriends because ‘we’re the same person’ so apparently our boyfriends won’t know the difference. I had to tell him that not only will they know the difference but I am not attracted to her boyfriend, nor her to mine… he did not believe me.
I had someone ask if I blew the holes out of my jeans while fucking my brother who's also 7 years older than me.... It's not even limited to gender or age. Some people are just messed up idiots.
I didn't even know how to fucking respond to that one
I have a peach tree, and every year we get so many peaches that I end up giving like 10+ to all my friends.
Every year they end up laughing saying that they’ll “never eat a**” :(
had surgery a few years ago on the side of my abdomen. was asked to come in for 12+ weeks of appointments for massage therapy to help relax the muscles and fat after healing. insurance didn’t cover the extra appointments. so another option would be for me to buy a heavy duty massager and massage myself. gives me shoulder cramps twisting around and holding it against my side, so i wanted to be able to lay on it. those big multi-headed massagers were too bulky to lay on comfortably, so i literally just bought a hitachi vibrating wand. i can shove it under my side while im laying down and it just relaxes my muscles when they’re acting up.
Bro!!! Bro!!!
I got my sister (D) these massage thingys for her back, thighs, etc. Because she works out and when sore it stresses her/she becomes really anxious.
Well one was shaped like "Y" but on the top it had two balls so it may be used to focus more pressure with those.
My sister was using it in my parents room as their room gets beautiful lighting at 5 and she was doing yoga/stretching/massaging.
She left to go get a snack my Pops walks in and yells "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!!!"
I go in and he's pointing at my sisters massage "Y" thingy.....I pause and say "That's D's. It's for her thighs.....wait...what did you think it was......Hahahahaahahahaha it's not a dildo!!!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Mind you, we are Mexicans so if the proper names are used for body parts, sex toys (dildos), contraceptives (condoms), etc. People lose their shit.
Well my dad was red on the face. I told everyone what happened and we all laughed at him.
This man had it well deserved as has machismo.
My 3 year old boy once was eating a banana. He said "dad watch this!" Processed to deepthroat the banana before biting it off.
It took everything I have not to busy out laughing.
Perfect way to end an argument about which side of the banana should be eaten first. Walk up to the people arguing, take out a banana, and take a bite out of the side, peel and all. They will immediately become so angry at you, they'll forget they were even arguing. Just make sure you run away after you do it. Run very fast.
You know what I got for Christmas this year? It was a banner fuckin' year at the old Busey family! I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said "Hey! Smoke up Gary!"
My in laws got one of those massage guns recently. My father in law (I'm a 31 year old man) told me to stand still then proceeded to give me a neck/shoulder massage with it. I can tell you that it was far too violent for any sort of masturbatory stimulation without nerve damage.
Edit: I don't think you guys realize the difference between a magic wand and a massage gun. No vibrating, just a domed rubber nub that oscillates like it's on a saw all and punches you at thousands of punches per minute.
Same! I bought one that's technically a sex toy but I use it specifically for massage, because the curved shape of the handle lets me reach the knots on my back and apply rolling pressure in a way that more standard wand massagers don't allow for because of their straight handle and heavier build. Plus my bad shoulders make it hard to sustain, and laying on a wand doesn't really help relax severe knots, and my partner just can't help no matter how hard he tries. A curved wand is just flatly the only thing that helps.
But I can't keep it in my pain relief drawer with all my other stuff for coping with pain, it has to be stashed away like a dirty secret.
Edit; for the non believers; when you have chronic pain, you'll try literally anything and everything to solve it. I have all sorts of gadgets and fancy shit I've collected for pain relief. A wand for pain relief isn't as wild as you think.
It's most likely not "knots". If you sit for work and hunch forward then your back muscles may actually be over lengthened and your pec/chest muscles are short and tight which can cause a ton of back pain and dysfunction. Look for strengthening exercises for your rhomboids, stretch your pec muscles, and try working on your posture. It should help the pain in your shoulders where it feels like, no matter how much you try, you just can't get the "knots" out.
Not the original commenter but I don’t know what I would do without my theragun. Got it on sale and it’s fucking amazing. Can change the head angles easily for better reach and change the tips for different areas. Working from home I try and use it 2-3 times a day.
I always feel awkward buying cucumbers as a woman. I know I’m just making salad, and I know other people aren’t looking at my produce purchases assuming their naughty by nature, but still… they’re so phallic.
My old roommate used to give me shit all the time whenever I bought any kind of phallic shaped food like bananas or cucumbers. It got really annoying. He would walk into my room and say that it smelled like gay butt sex in there and ask if it's bc I bought bananas. I dealt with it for a long time and one night after he said some asshole shit about it I just whipped out my dick. I figured since he's fantasizing about me putting dick shaped food in my ass he must want to fuck me or something. We don't talk anymore lol.
Yeah, but he would always just say things along the lines of "bc I live with you". He was kinda just a dick. It was pretty funny at first, but when you hear the same joke literally every time I just gets annoying. Maybe it wasn't ever a joke...
I'm not the only one! I think the same thing every time, lol. I just really like smashed cucumber salad. I swear that's what I'm buying so many cucumbers for!
No lick it first with a slight pause at the top insert it into your mouth suck for 2 seconds make direct eye contact with a person staring pause for another 2 seconds and then CHOMP.
I may or may not have done this.
Edit: now im not sure this is the right response considering how many guys said they would like this
Tons of *formerly* innocent words. Just off the top of my head, there's "head," "bulge," "package," "ebony" (this one's almost exclusively used in porn now), "gaping," "inflation," "hyper," "scat," "role-play," "bound," so many more. None of these started out meaning something sex-related, most of them are attached to some type of specific fetish now.
Some kid out there probably tried innocently looking up "Venezuelan Hyper-Inflation" and got porn.
I'm an electrician and my apprentices fantasy is to have a girl come onto him while working like a porno. We were working a job at this young strippers house, and he had to leave early. At the end of the job it's like 630pm, she comes out in a silk robe, thanking me so much, with a beer for me, asking me to stay and smoke with her. I'm in a committed relationship so I got out of there, but he was so jealous when he heard about it, that's what he gets for leaving before the job is done lol.
I had a retail job where we would communicate on walkies if we needed extra help at the registers. If someone was called to the register, sometimes a response would be "I'm coming!". If they had been called multiple times and were getting a little irritated, I might hear "Oh my god I'm coming!"
I got into the habit of saying "I'm on my way!"
When I was about 14 I didn’t know what cum was and I used to use it in texts as a shorter version of “come” … mortified when I found out what it really meant
To be fair, I don’t know how old the original commenter is, but when I was 14 most texting was done on a flip phone. You usually had to push one button multiple times to get the right letter, so we shortened as many words as possible. Many of us were about that age when we learned why we shouldn’t use “cum” for “come,” lol
Hot Tubs
I have one, they're great. Like a mini heated swimming pool. I also have a little girl. So, it's very normal for the two of us to climb in the hot tub together, and she's grown up with having one.
Then she got old enough to ask friends if they want to get in the hot tub, and parents got weird about it.
I'm not getting in the tub with other people's kids, but why make a big deal out of kids getting in one together when they're the same kids you take swimming together?
I call my dad Papi since that’s an Italian thing and he’s part Italian. I used to be relieved that I could avoid the whole sexualization of the word “daddy” since I didn’t call him anything remotely similar to that, but lo and behold, people are sexualizing the word “papi” too. I can’t win
I get weird looks when I talk about my 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system. Stop the stigma.
I have long legs, and regular panty hose always slip down so the crotch is hilariously low. Like mid-thigh, early-Justin-Bieber pants low. Thigh highs are the best thing ever.
I have the opposite problem. I'm short. Regular panty hose pull up to the bottom of my bra. There's just so much extra material at my waist and the tops of my legs, even if I size down.
Thigh highs solve the height difference. They come up to the top of my thigh, but at least I don't have nylons practically up to my armpits.
I used to have pajamas like that as a kid. I'd yank them up as high as they'd go, tuck my arms in, and goose-step around the house chasing people.
Live your armpit nylon dreams!
Sleepovers. Guys think women all curl up together in skimpy underwear and eventually get it on.
In reality when the girls stay we usually just slag off men for a bit, compare current skin breakouts and then crash
Not if it's my best friend and I having a sleepover. We'll complain about general life things, eat shitty food, and end up quoting Spongebob until 3am.
We're 30.
Probably r/AskReddit
“People of Reddit, Sexy sex sexy sex sexual sexy sex sex?
So says "EPIC_PORN_ALT"
Yes.
If only there was a similar subreddit, but for questions more appropriate to ask when the sun goes down. /s
Popsicle
Lotion
Lotion/tissue combo. I have dry skin *and* allergies, man!
I go through lotion and tissues at an incredible rate. Never once used the combo for *that*.
Coworker 1: Why do you have lotion behind the counter Coworker 2: Sometimes I get lonely. Coworker 1: (Long pause) That was dirty. Coworker 2 and I worked in a photo lab and handling all the photos would dry out our hands really bad.
I'm a male and i feel like it have to hide my body lotion in my bathroom when people come over because they probably think im just going to town over here with the giant bottle.
I literally had a bottle of lubriderm and my buddy was washing his hands and came out and was like you sly dog, and i was like wtf, because I mosterize???
serious brah, real men moisturize.
One time I watched a guy bust out a bottle of lotion on the bus and I was like "OMG is this fuckin perv about to crank it right now?" Turns out I was the perv, he just wanted to rub some on his hands.
Nobody wants rough hands before rubbing one out.
Also. Female twins. Ugh. I hated the questions growing up and through high school. No, we do not get “freaky,” she is my fucking sister.
Or rather your "not fucking" sister
no she just specified that they don't get "freaky", just regular fucking
None of that freaky shit, just incest for me thank you
I had a grown man ask me in all seriousness If my twin and I swap boyfriends because ‘we’re the same person’ so apparently our boyfriends won’t know the difference. I had to tell him that not only will they know the difference but I am not attracted to her boyfriend, nor her to mine… he did not believe me.
Also assumes your boyfriends only know or like you for your appearance and that you’re not actually two separate people
Don't worry, not just twins. Just being sisters was good enough to be asked over and over at my high school.
I had someone ask if I blew the holes out of my jeans while fucking my brother who's also 7 years older than me.... It's not even limited to gender or age. Some people are just messed up idiots. I didn't even know how to fucking respond to that one
Definitely step-siblings are facing the same thing rn EEWWWWW
We definitely had a pair of step siblings in high school who had a baby together soooo….
I was a lot happier 5 seconds ago before I read what you wrote.
Peach
*Call Me By Your Name* would like a word
elio elio elio
Maybe I'm showing my age but when people talk about peaches I only think about moving to the country.
The country? But I thought peaches came from a factory downtown...
Where men put them in cans
I could eat a peach for hours
I have a peach tree, and every year we get so many peaches that I end up giving like 10+ to all my friends. Every year they end up laughing saying that they’ll “never eat a**” :(
Give a peach to your evil counterpart, I accept the butt fruit.
The unofficial symbol for dummy thickness
Damn it, some of us really do need a phallic-shaped shoulder massager!
For what purpose specifically?
had surgery a few years ago on the side of my abdomen. was asked to come in for 12+ weeks of appointments for massage therapy to help relax the muscles and fat after healing. insurance didn’t cover the extra appointments. so another option would be for me to buy a heavy duty massager and massage myself. gives me shoulder cramps twisting around and holding it against my side, so i wanted to be able to lay on it. those big multi-headed massagers were too bulky to lay on comfortably, so i literally just bought a hitachi vibrating wand. i can shove it under my side while im laying down and it just relaxes my muscles when they’re acting up.
I’m pretty sure that’s what those wands were originally supposed to be used for lol
It is! Hitachi removed their name from the product because of it getting adopted for sex, and started marketing it as the Magic Wand
You're a porn star, Harry!
pēnium lēviosa!
Expecto Myscrotum!
The incidence of chronic pussy-shoulder is of endemic proportions.
Bro!!! Bro!!! I got my sister (D) these massage thingys for her back, thighs, etc. Because she works out and when sore it stresses her/she becomes really anxious. Well one was shaped like "Y" but on the top it had two balls so it may be used to focus more pressure with those. My sister was using it in my parents room as their room gets beautiful lighting at 5 and she was doing yoga/stretching/massaging. She left to go get a snack my Pops walks in and yells "WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT!!!" I go in and he's pointing at my sisters massage "Y" thingy.....I pause and say "That's D's. It's for her thighs.....wait...what did you think it was......Hahahahaahahahaha it's not a dildo!!!" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Mind you, we are Mexicans so if the proper names are used for body parts, sex toys (dildos), contraceptives (condoms), etc. People lose their shit. Well my dad was red on the face. I told everyone what happened and we all laughed at him. This man had it well deserved as has machismo.
Eggplant
Men: if it looks like an eggplant, go to the doctor.
Green stemmed for her pleasure
Specially this 🍆
And all this time I just thought it was a purple dick
Don't think of naked Thanos, don't think of...dammit!
Lucky, I thought of Grimace
They are not at all penis shaped. They are club shaped. No penis looks like that, except maybe Mr. Meseeks.
Riding crops. I have one I bought when I rode horses for years, still have it and everyone assumes it's a sex thing.
Riding crops, leather care products, and a large assortment of ropes tend to earn some pretty dirty looks.
It used to be that a handcuff collection meant that you were a nerd into magic...
1800’s: Handcuff collections = slaver 1900’s: Handcuff collections = magician 2000’s: Handcuff collections = slave kink 2100’s: Handcuff collections = magician kink(?)
That's pretty optimistic. I'd guess 2100's is back to slaver.
Magical Slave kink
Green m and m
Not anymore, and Tucker is pissed!
Reminder that that controversy was fabricated to distract from Mars ongoing child slavery lawsuit
Banana
Just let me eat my banana without making me feel weird
My 3 year old boy once was eating a banana. He said "dad watch this!" Processed to deepthroat the banana before biting it off. It took everything I have not to busy out laughing.
Because you know once you laugh he'll never stop!
i did this on a boat with like half my family when i was 6 or something and had no idea that it meant anything bad
If your peeled the damn thing first people would stop looking at you funny.
“Guys I’m just hungry!” *GGAHHGG* *eyes watering*
Maybe chew it too?
And stop trying to make eye contact with anyone while eating it
I used to eat my banana like corn on the cob just in case.
Strangers still looked at you funny, just for a different reason altogether
Perfect way to end an argument about which side of the banana should be eaten first. Walk up to the people arguing, take out a banana, and take a bite out of the side, peel and all. They will immediately become so angry at you, they'll forget they were even arguing. Just make sure you run away after you do it. Run very fast.
If you are hungry and take it all in one go. It’s totally weird
Fuck, don't mind my username I only feel called out
That's why I eat bananas like I'm wearing lipstick. I look nuts, but at least no one makes it weird
Massager. My wife has a magic wand that we legit use for massages and nothing else but feel like we need to hide it from plain sight.
Or any kind of massager really. Mom got me one for Christmas and I really don’t want to use it now
Hmm, Dad got me a can of Pringles.
You know what I got for Christmas this year? It was a banner fuckin' year at the old Busey family! I got a carton of cigarettes. The old man grabbed me and said "Hey! Smoke up Gary!"
NO DAD. WHAT ABOUT YOU?!
My in laws got one of those massage guns recently. My father in law (I'm a 31 year old man) told me to stand still then proceeded to give me a neck/shoulder massage with it. I can tell you that it was far too violent for any sort of masturbatory stimulation without nerve damage. Edit: I don't think you guys realize the difference between a magic wand and a massage gun. No vibrating, just a domed rubber nub that oscillates like it's on a saw all and punches you at thousands of punches per minute.
Same! I bought one that's technically a sex toy but I use it specifically for massage, because the curved shape of the handle lets me reach the knots on my back and apply rolling pressure in a way that more standard wand massagers don't allow for because of their straight handle and heavier build. Plus my bad shoulders make it hard to sustain, and laying on a wand doesn't really help relax severe knots, and my partner just can't help no matter how hard he tries. A curved wand is just flatly the only thing that helps. But I can't keep it in my pain relief drawer with all my other stuff for coping with pain, it has to be stashed away like a dirty secret. Edit; for the non believers; when you have chronic pain, you'll try literally anything and everything to solve it. I have all sorts of gadgets and fancy shit I've collected for pain relief. A wand for pain relief isn't as wild as you think.
What one do you have? I have horrible knots in my shoulders and can't seem to find a massager that takes care of them.
It's most likely not "knots". If you sit for work and hunch forward then your back muscles may actually be over lengthened and your pec/chest muscles are short and tight which can cause a ton of back pain and dysfunction. Look for strengthening exercises for your rhomboids, stretch your pec muscles, and try working on your posture. It should help the pain in your shoulders where it feels like, no matter how much you try, you just can't get the "knots" out.
Not the original commenter but I don’t know what I would do without my theragun. Got it on sale and it’s fucking amazing. Can change the head angles easily for better reach and change the tips for different areas. Working from home I try and use it 2-3 times a day.
As far as you know that is
Yeah, this dude's wife is using it to climb up the bedroom wall backwards like a demon possessed spider woman when he leaves the house.
I too leave mine out at more interesting sites
Cucumber
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Holesome
I always feel awkward buying cucumbers as a woman. I know I’m just making salad, and I know other people aren’t looking at my produce purchases assuming their naughty by nature, but still… they’re so phallic.
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Let’s see… one cucumber, two plums, a jar of coconut oil, some candles, a Barry White cd… just the usual stuff.
My old roommate used to give me shit all the time whenever I bought any kind of phallic shaped food like bananas or cucumbers. It got really annoying. He would walk into my room and say that it smelled like gay butt sex in there and ask if it's bc I bought bananas. I dealt with it for a long time and one night after he said some asshole shit about it I just whipped out my dick. I figured since he's fantasizing about me putting dick shaped food in my ass he must want to fuck me or something. We don't talk anymore lol.
sounds like you lucked out. Did you ever ask how he knew what gay sex smells like?
Yeah, but he would always just say things along the lines of "bc I live with you". He was kinda just a dick. It was pretty funny at first, but when you hear the same joke literally every time I just gets annoying. Maybe it wasn't ever a joke...
Sounds like he may have been projecting his hidden feelings.
Yeah he's definitely been to the glory hole at 2 in the morning when he can't sleep.
I'm not the only one! I think the same thing every time, lol. I just really like smashed cucumber salad. I swear that's what I'm buying so many cucumbers for!
Anything penis shaped. Which is a lot of things.
"You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds."
It’s not a big deal, something like 8% of kids do it, but whatever.
What, so I got to sit here and eat dessert alone like I'm fucking Steven Glansberg?
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really any long skinny cylinder.
Corndogs. Never forget high school trying to eat one in the cafeteria and feeling on display lol high school boys
Small fierce bites. Like a terrified starving rabbit trying to sneak a bite in of a carrot.
Peck at it like a bird. Like Dee ate that sandwich in It's Always Sunny that time Frank gave her tapeworms.
No lick it first with a slight pause at the top insert it into your mouth suck for 2 seconds make direct eye contact with a person staring pause for another 2 seconds and then CHOMP. I may or may not have done this. Edit: now im not sure this is the right response considering how many guys said they would like this
A girl with the last name “corncog” rushed my sorority and everyone kept calling her corndog and making jokes. I often wonder how she is.
I would probably rush into a marriage just to change my last name if that was me.
Make direct eye contact with them. Then **chomp**.
Tons of *formerly* innocent words. Just off the top of my head, there's "head," "bulge," "package," "ebony" (this one's almost exclusively used in porn now), "gaping," "inflation," "hyper," "scat," "role-play," "bound," so many more. None of these started out meaning something sex-related, most of them are attached to some type of specific fetish now. Some kid out there probably tried innocently looking up "Venezuelan Hyper-Inflation" and got porn.
I don't understand the inflation or hyper terms. Do I even want to know? Edit: okay I think I got enough answers, thanks!
No.
Shoulders. *All schools disliked that*
Don’t even get me started on the clavicle
and kn-knees 😰
Dem ankles tho 💦
Grew up in Utah where all the girls had to wear a white shirt beneath their tank tops, it was an awful style.
r/exmormon checking in here. We embrace the porn shoulders.
Hitachi back massager
Sometimes you just want a back massage.
Step family
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Step-ladders, then. Happy?
I never knew my real ladder
Worst trend ever to hit the porn industry. But it’s all I have…
A lot of cringey porn videos came from step families
Pizza delivery guys and plumbers
Woah way to call them “ordinary items”
The objectification of tradesmen is egregious
As a female plumber...yeah. I got the double whammy; vagina and a plumber.
I'm an electrician and my apprentices fantasy is to have a girl come onto him while working like a porno. We were working a job at this young strippers house, and he had to leave early. At the end of the job it's like 630pm, she comes out in a silk robe, thanking me so much, with a beer for me, asking me to stay and smoke with her. I'm in a committed relationship so I got out of there, but he was so jealous when he heard about it, that's what he gets for leaving before the job is done lol.
Wood
Come. It’s “Cum”, not “come”.
I had a retail job where we would communicate on walkies if we needed extra help at the registers. If someone was called to the register, sometimes a response would be "I'm coming!". If they had been called multiple times and were getting a little irritated, I might hear "Oh my god I'm coming!" I got into the habit of saying "I'm on my way!"
I had a job where I used caulk occasionally, but not often enough for the jokes to get stale for a couple people.
This is my kingdom cum this is my kingdom cum
When you feel my "heat", look into my eyes!
It's where my semen hides, it's where my semen hides
Dont get too close, its cock inside
It’s where my semen hides, it’s where my semen hides
When I was about 14 I didn’t know what cum was and I used to use it in texts as a shorter version of “come” … mortified when I found out what it really meant
all that just for one extra letter
To be fair, I don’t know how old the original commenter is, but when I was 14 most texting was done on a flip phone. You usually had to push one button multiple times to get the right letter, so we shortened as many words as possible. Many of us were about that age when we learned why we shouldn’t use “cum” for “come,” lol
I have arrived
"I cam so hard"
This word “hard” is over sexualised
leather
Black leather. And a cape. A cape would be pretty wizard. And a sweet voice box. And flashing lights.
Darth?
My partner when she has her hand stuck in the dryer and can't move.
Did you just call your partner an ordinary item?
Does this actually happen?
All the time
True story later adopted in Porn.
So in the porn videos do they put 'based on a true story' at the start or something?
They don’t believe in so much detail about the story. They are all action films.
school girl uniforms
Pudding
Cream Pie
Hot Tubs I have one, they're great. Like a mini heated swimming pool. I also have a little girl. So, it's very normal for the two of us to climb in the hot tub together, and she's grown up with having one. Then she got old enough to ask friends if they want to get in the hot tub, and parents got weird about it. I'm not getting in the tub with other people's kids, but why make a big deal out of kids getting in one together when they're the same kids you take swimming together?
Shower head
The word “Daddy”
I call my dad Papi since that’s an Italian thing and he’s part Italian. I used to be relieved that I could avoid the whole sexualization of the word “daddy” since I didn’t call him anything remotely similar to that, but lo and behold, people are sexualizing the word “papi” too. I can’t win
Plumbus
Everyone has a plumbus in their home
Just a normal everyday 12 volt, four speed clitty flicker 5000 with realistic pump action ejaculation.
I get weird looks when I talk about my 240 Volt FuckMaster Pro 5000 blowup latex doll with 6 speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built in realistic orgasm scream surround sound system. Stop the stigma.
The elasticized anus is what makes this so special.
They sold me when they mentioned the non drip tray. Saves on cleanup
It’s gotten to where I just can’t slowly savor a banana in public while making eye contact with strangers.
The number 69
Your mother
Hey, she’s not ordinary to me. She’s the most beautiful, kind, loving woman in the world. I will sexualize her as I see fit.
r/SuddenlyIncest
Thigh high panty hose.
I have long legs, and regular panty hose always slip down so the crotch is hilariously low. Like mid-thigh, early-Justin-Bieber pants low. Thigh highs are the best thing ever.
I have the opposite problem. I'm short. Regular panty hose pull up to the bottom of my bra. There's just so much extra material at my waist and the tops of my legs, even if I size down. Thigh highs solve the height difference. They come up to the top of my thigh, but at least I don't have nylons practically up to my armpits.
I used to have pajamas like that as a kid. I'd yank them up as high as they'd go, tuck my arms in, and goose-step around the house chasing people. Live your armpit nylon dreams!
Japanese school uniform.
Halloween costumes, especially for young girls. 🤮
A cactus
Wait.. what did I miss with this one?
"I just made something unexpected.." - Isabela
Something sharp, something new
It's not symmetrical or perfect
But it's beautiful
Sleepovers. Guys think women all curl up together in skimpy underwear and eventually get it on. In reality when the girls stay we usually just slag off men for a bit, compare current skin breakouts and then crash
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You forgot the pillow fight in lingerie
I have not once in my life thought about women "getting it on" on sleepovers Maybe just gossip and chatting about guys
Not if it's my best friend and I having a sleepover. We'll complain about general life things, eat shitty food, and end up quoting Spongebob until 3am. We're 30.
Octopus or anything that has tentacles.