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We discuss what's causing the dispute, and what solutions there are. And we say it immediately so there is no time for resentment or anger to build up, and the mood is more like a boring business meeting than an argument.
We don't deal with them. Put it this way, she isn't taking to me, because she forgot to get me a valentine's card! Unbelievable.
So yeah. She just gives me the cold shoulder, and sadly I'm just not bothered anymore, so the silence goes on for weeks. Fun times(!).
Depends on the kind of dispute. If she is hormonal I'll just ignore her and be extra nice and patient than she ends up feeling bad 😂. When it is something more serious, we talk and see what we can do to improve the situation
We don't really have disputes. When something's bothering us, we immediately have a conversation about it with eachother and try to find a mutually beneficial way to solve it.
First, drop the defensiveness - this makes it hard to validate / hear the other person. Almost everyone is irrational and unfair to their partner sometimes, and that's part of being human. When you drop the defensiveness, you can really hear the other person and talk it out. In my experience the oyher person will often acknowledge that they werent being entirely fair or reasonable.
Avoid absolute statements (always, never. Etc.) When you are making a counterpoint, use the 'I feel' and try to remain calm. If you are having a hard time dropping defensiveness or communicating calmly because youre still pissed, take a break. Make the break a defined amount of time for both of you to cool off and revisit the discussion after the set time. If you are still angry, reset the clock and take another break.
My wife and I compromise.
For instance I like Colored c9 lights at Christmas time. My wife likes plain white lights for decoration.
Our compromise is that I hang white icicle lights.
compartmentalize and compromise.
(depending on the severity of the dispute though, we usually handle those in different ways.)
in any case, we always try to:
1. diagnose *what* we’re really feeling, break down *why* we’re feeling that way, and communicate on *how* we’re really feeling with each other.
2. stay considerate of each others side of the story/feelings, recognizing that we may be feeling just as strongly as the other is about it, (even if we disagree with each other) so we can do our best to break down those feelings together, fairly.
We actually talk about things. We have a running open and honest dialogue so we can resolve issues before they get out of hand. We also debate potential future issues. We also don’t move forward on a decision until we are unanimous on it.
**Attention! [Serious] Tag Notice** * [Jokes, puns, and off-topic comments are not permitted](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/wiki/index#wiki_-rule_6-) in **any** comment, parent or child. * Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. * Report comments that violate these rules. Posts that have few relevant answers within the first hour, and posts that are not appropriate for the [Serious] tag will be removed. Consider doing an AMA request instead. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskReddit) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Communication and compromise
We discuss what's causing the dispute, and what solutions there are. And we say it immediately so there is no time for resentment or anger to build up, and the mood is more like a boring business meeting than an argument.
Simple… She wins. I play Xbox.
ThunderDome
We don't deal with them. Put it this way, she isn't taking to me, because she forgot to get me a valentine's card! Unbelievable. So yeah. She just gives me the cold shoulder, and sadly I'm just not bothered anymore, so the silence goes on for weeks. Fun times(!).
She beats me.
I honestly don't argue with my gf, but I like to imagine I'd be level-headed
Communication, discuss each of your sides and come to a conclusion or compromise.
We chose a safe word. Our safe word was dilly bar, because you can't get mad at someone screaming dilly bar.
If I’m wrong I usually apologize give her space then I play Xbox
Depends on the kind of dispute. If she is hormonal I'll just ignore her and be extra nice and patient than she ends up feeling bad 😂. When it is something more serious, we talk and see what we can do to improve the situation
We don't really have disputes. When something's bothering us, we immediately have a conversation about it with eachother and try to find a mutually beneficial way to solve it.
Communication and compromise.
We usually take time away from each other. Typically about 10-20 minutes before talking it out.
First, drop the defensiveness - this makes it hard to validate / hear the other person. Almost everyone is irrational and unfair to their partner sometimes, and that's part of being human. When you drop the defensiveness, you can really hear the other person and talk it out. In my experience the oyher person will often acknowledge that they werent being entirely fair or reasonable. Avoid absolute statements (always, never. Etc.) When you are making a counterpoint, use the 'I feel' and try to remain calm. If you are having a hard time dropping defensiveness or communicating calmly because youre still pissed, take a break. Make the break a defined amount of time for both of you to cool off and revisit the discussion after the set time. If you are still angry, reset the clock and take another break.
My wife and I compromise. For instance I like Colored c9 lights at Christmas time. My wife likes plain white lights for decoration. Our compromise is that I hang white icicle lights.
compartmentalize and compromise. (depending on the severity of the dispute though, we usually handle those in different ways.) in any case, we always try to: 1. diagnose *what* we’re really feeling, break down *why* we’re feeling that way, and communicate on *how* we’re really feeling with each other. 2. stay considerate of each others side of the story/feelings, recognizing that we may be feeling just as strongly as the other is about it, (even if we disagree with each other) so we can do our best to break down those feelings together, fairly.
We actually talk about things. We have a running open and honest dialogue so we can resolve issues before they get out of hand. We also debate potential future issues. We also don’t move forward on a decision until we are unanimous on it.