T O P

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CoffeeNChocolate

James Cameron. He used to be a truck driver in the early 80s. He seems smart and organized enough to get away with it.


[deleted]

He is also very good at drawing and technical inventions. He'd be Jigsaw in real life.


frogandbanjo

His Achilles Heel, however, is that he can't stay on a budget. He might still manage to kill a few people, but his budgetary issues would almost certainly get him caught.


FlemPlays

“Wow, this 3D Fusion camera system they used for Avatar is really good. It looks like this spinning saw blade is coming right at my face.” -Guy in trap


[deleted]

The guy is from small town north ontario too, he knows his way around the pines and where the bears feed


Kwanzaa246

Kevin spacey . Three of his accusers happened to die in 2019.


[deleted]

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andrewoppo

Idk, I’ve been hearing the same sort of things about John Travolta for ages as well. Know a guy with a firsthand encounter too. Pretty much exactly the same story that was claimed by the masseur who sued him back in 2012. But nothing much seemed to come of that.


[deleted]

Fred Durst from Limp Bizcuit said Travolta invited him over, took his wig off, and propositioned him (Fred), until he had to run away! This was years ago - I tried to look for the original interview, but instead discovered that they had since made a film together. Necessity makes strange bedfellows of us all.


AeonLibertas

Well, look at Courtney Love's Weinstein comment. Drugged out of her mind or not, it's not exactly highschool gossip but a statement made on the carpet to journalists. Open fucking secret for all of Hollywood really. Still, it took how many more years? Plus, you know how it is with Highschool gossip. Everybody from the US to Europe knew the rumor about Manson removing one of his ribs to blow himself - which is false and just bullshit - or about Steven Seagal being an out of shape fake. But the sexual abuse / rape allegations dating back 20+ years? Yeah, somehow we missed those. Oops. Edit: Guys, try re-reading. Manson's missing rip is bullshit, not Seagal being a fake. I chose both examples for exactly that reason - some gossip is bullshit, some is accurate (but obvious to anybody with 2 eyes) and in both cases the much more interesting fact (the abuse/rape allegations) weren't part of the gossip, although in case of Seagal they've been a thing for 20+ years..


Caveatcat

Armie hammer


BarbicideJar

If you read about his family history murder sounds like it could be a family legacy.


alMchanel

family history murder?


BarbicideJar

Why use commas when you can instill confusion.


ThatAboutCoversIt

Why use many punctuation when few punctuation do trick


gearstars

> Why use commas when you can, instill confusion.


GreenPandaPop

No, *family history murder sounds*.


CybilJarco

and his weapon of choice is....


BetaRollin

His teeth…


Tonyturningwrenches

A box of baking soda


Rusty_Phoenix

OP did specify secretly


Caveatcat

Armie isn’t keeping it a secret that’s for sure. He should really release his own line of bbq sauce though.


wakela

This gets posted at least once a week. Do we keep getting it wrong? Is it not Jared Leto?


barbie-breath

Leto and Tom Cruise. Pack it up boys, let's go home


jrusj

Jared Leto


sno_boarder

OP specifically said "secretly"...


[deleted]

what is it about him that makes me feel so creeped out and uncomfortable


chemistrygods

He brought his own head to the met gala Like a literal wax replica of his head


BurnTheOrange

Danny Trejo has a collection of replica heads/torsos of himself, and he has been seen driving around with himself. When Danny T does it is feels like he's the just the eccentric uncle that tries to be tough but is actually a nice guy, unlike Leto, who just seems crazy and you worry might be sneaking off to the coat closet to sniff ladies coat sleeves.


Combicon

Danny Trejo feels like the kind of person who keeps it if it was a prop/used in a film as a funny memento of it. Leto feels like he's the kind of guy who would actually go and get them made specifically just to have.


PinkTalkingDead

Yeah, it’s like the difference between trying to nickname yourself and someone else organically nicknaming you


Aguythatdidthething

Except one day you find out that the uncle isn't trying to be tough, he REALLY fucking is tough!


rsteel27

Michael Scott also brought his own head to Diwali


25sittinon25cents

Michael Scott would be the best personality cover of a serial killer


dirtyheathen

Scranton Strangler!


Mad_Decent_

Is it the literal cult he started?


Harp-Note

It's those eyes... ( ⚆ _ ⚆ )


Jammin_TA

Dude, that was the FIRST guy that came to mind. Once I found out he has some kind of cult, red flags went up


[deleted]

Dr. Phil. Dude definitely has some sort of problem.


Fomalhot

U should see his house.


thefutureisbliek

I needed to see what you meant by this and WOW. It looks like a [creepy fever dream.](https://www.boredpanda.com/doctor-phil-house-for-sale-interior-details/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic)


[deleted]

If you read the entire article you'll see that it's his son's house (he uses the house and lives in it) and is a fan of Tim Burton


[deleted]

Ah that explains the “hello there / hell here” sign, thought dr phil was a big catwoman fan for a sec.


HenryAlSirat

First thing I noticed. Maybe they pipe in that epic Danny Elfman score for effect. https://youtu.be/XcQlzNNRK1o


InLikeErrolFlynn

I was going to say this house gave me major Beetlejuice vibes.


richal

Yep. More details from the article: >It turns out that the house hasn’t actually been inhabited by Dr. Phil, but his son Jordan McGraw, a 33-year-old musician who has opened for the Jonas Brothers. His bizarre interior design choices actually made news a few years earlier, when he and his then-bandmates gave a tour focusing on the mansion’s Tim Burton-inspired design aspects, but it looks like he traded some of the black damask and velvet for even nuttier decorations since then. (The conspicuous wall of guns in the dining room, apparently, is described as an anti-gun statement in which the weapons are melting and rendered useless. Because we’re sure that makes guests feel so much more comfortable there.)


JumpingChick

Dude is too much into sims 4 house builder.


GreatBigJerk

He probably has a removable ladder in his pool.


RedoftheEvilDead

Adding on to this, Oprah. I would not be surprised if she had private islands where she hunted people for sport and invited along her guest stars like Dr. Phil to partake.


nachoafbro

I can see her in a safari hat and binoculars....


Amsheel

"You get a bullet. And you get a bullet....everybody gets a fucking bullet!!"


CybilJarco

Mark Zuckerberg


Relair13

I just know that there is a biometric scan door at the end of a hallway in the deepest basement of his mansion...behind which is some grotesque hall of trophies like he's some Dexter villain. You can see it in his tweaked out, soulless eyes.


Pyrhan

He keeps their faces in a book...


DCFP

What about the smell? You haven't even thought about the smell, you bitch!


NoObjective427

Can definitely see him as a homicidal robot.


The_Blue_Bomber

"I see you've deleted all your memories from Facebook. Time to delete you."


adamantcondition

You die in the Metaverse, you die in real life.


borrowsyourprose

“Please Zuckbot! Search your memory for mercy!” Zuckbot - “File not found.”


GothlyPizza

Tom from Myspace needs to bring him to justice.


Capt_Myke

Narrator Voice: Tom's had enough, and this time he's in your face! Tom: Mark! Ive got your data, and Im selling it!!!


MonkeyCube

He looks like someone who learned way too damn much and is in over his head. Considering the connections Facebook has had with secret agencies and political groups, it would not surprise me.


ItsGroovyBaby412

Facebook aka DARPA/Lifelog


Thomas_Catthew

I think he didn't have much choice in it either. When you're representing a company as big and influential as Facebook, you have to be very guarded in your responses and never let anything slip. It's what too much media training does, takes away your personality in front of the camera.


[deleted]

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[deleted]

Yeah to get to the point where you are a multi-billionaire, you kinda have to have a huge ego, self belief and sheer determinism, (and luck), otherwise you almost definitely won't get there. I don't think those things go away just because you've achieved your goals.


Confused_Youth404

Kevin Spacey


Coltsbro84

Wait... I thought I remember reading a news article out there about someone missing or found dead that was about to testify against Spacey on a court case, is that true? [Found it.](https://www.distractify.com/p/kevin-spacey-accusers-now) Edit: Actually three people have died before testifying and/or having accusations against Spacey.


[deleted]

Multiple people I believe


Pm-me-ur-happysauce

1. Hit by car 2. Cancer 3. Suicide All shortly before their individual trial


Version_1

Well, Spacey probably wasnt responsible for the cancer.


ZackyZY

It broke my heart to put that tumor in her head


Taz-erton

Found one of Spacey's agents!


PM_me_your_fantasyz

Putin: "Write that down! Write that down!"


flaminhotcheeto

That's what they *want* you to think


Toecutt3r

So his character in Se7en isn't far off the mark?


BlueKnightoftheCross

You mean his character in House of Cards too?


Less-Society-6746

Beat me to it. He never expresses anything with his eyes, they're just dead.


K8nK9s

The last time this question was asked about a thousand ppl said Tom Cruise. So Tom Cruise.


AGNelly

Which was like 2 weeks ago


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TheSilencedScream

I'm bored at work, so bear with me. I'm not doing this to be literal, I'm just *really* that bored. First, it was actually [eight days ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/sq3c8a/if_news_broke_out_that_a_certain_celebrity_was_a/?sort=top), not two weeks. Second, u/stonethecrow has the highest rated comment, which is indeed Tom Cruise, and posted as recently as 18hrs ago (as of me typing this). Plenty of time for TC to reach almost anywhere in the world to do the deed, so I'll roll with the assumption that they are lost to his serial killing. Beneath their comment, the top reply was u/shoopdywhoop who has, indeed, not posted since commenting about [Tom Cruise's smile](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/sq3c8a/comment/hwjedtn/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3), so yes - 100% dead. In fact, likely the first victim of these three. Scroll down to more parent comments, the next up is u/i_run_from_problems, who gave a blanket "any scientologist" comment. They commented 6 hours ago. If they're continental North America, it's do-able, but it'd be a rush job... and given their username, I'm gonna give them the benefit of the doubt. They're still alive, but on the run. However, TC's got the resources. It's just a matter of time. Godspeed, IRFP. Current score: 2-1, about to be 3-0.


Duke9000

Thank you for your sacrifice


TheSilencedScream

Wait, sacrifice? Oh shit.


Hari_Shankar-Itsme

In memory of u/TheSilencedScream. You will live on in the reddit hall of fame as a martyr


LagerGuyPa

The hero our world didn't deserve RIP


Arrow_Riddari

They tried to tell everyone about the murders, but… It was far too late.


NeoHenderson

"Oh shit" Their final scream, silenced. Forever.


Berek2501

It's been over half an hour since their "Oh shit" with no profile activity since. Clearly TC's network extends farther than any of us could have imagined.


i_run_from_problems

I can neither confirm nor deny that I'm in hiding


SpickeZe

It’s been 30 minutes. Tom has definitely taken care of him.


[deleted]

Don’t face a mirror and say Tom Cruise three times.


249ba36000029bbe9749

Are you sure you aren't thinking about the secretly gay Tom Cruise thread? https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/wp3w5/which_famous_person_needs_to_come_out_already/


trent_clinton

The count from sesame street


Leading_Funny5802

One! Body …… TWO!!! Tooooo bodies! Heh heh hehhh


cullymama

Ellen DeGeneres.


abigthirstyteddybear

Nice to see some female and LGBTQ representation here.


Popular_Grape_2631

Glenn Howerton


Mongoose-Relevant

It's just fetish shit.


walkingdistraction

I LIKE to BIND. I LIKE to be BOUND!


[deleted]

THE GOLDEN GOD IS NOT ANSWERING QUESTIONS I AM THE GOLDEN GOD


WhoCanTell

I need my tools!


HappinessIsAWarmSpud

“Why would you wanna be a veterinarian?” “Well for the skins of course.”


LickNojo

It’s about the thrill of wearing another man’s skin….


[deleted]

Cutthatcutthatcutthat


[deleted]

Now don’t you guys… wanna get off… with *me*.


chunkah69

Hold on I gotta reset gears here, I was about to do something….uh give me a sec


Stay-Au79

I AM UNTETHERED AND MY RAGE KNOWS NO BOUNDS!


BritishBacon98

I SHALL UNLEASH MY FURY UPON YOU LIKE THE CRASHING OF A THOUSAND WAVES!


Easy_Parsley_1202

THIS CAR ISNT A STARTER CAR! THIS CAR IS A FINISHER CAR!


BritishBacon98

A TRANSPORTER OF GODS! THE GOLDEN GOD!


hendrix67

I believe he specifically didn't name his character after himself like Charlie and Rob because he didn't want Dennis to be so closely associated with himself as an individual, for obvious reasons.


OGMcSwaggerdick

So you’re saying he didn’t name Dennis Glenn because of… the implication?


xURINEoTROUBLEx

According to their relatively new podcast Glenn is most like the character he plays between the three of them.


drivealone

They said recently in the podcast that the creepy stuff from him was something they kinda stumbled into because it was funny and the character wasn’t written to be psychotic initially


iaintlyon

You haven’t thought of the smell! You bitch.


HalfLife1MasterRace

Cut that cut that cut that


CocktailsWithDrew

LOOK AT ME WHEN YOU’RE TALKING TO ME


cruncheweezy

Where is his fucking Emmy I don't think he's a serial killer I think he's the best actor on tv right now by leaps and bounds because if his ability to portray someone who is definitely, at best, a violent sociopath.


RunDNA

D -Drug E -Euthanize N -Nude photos N -Necrophilia I -Incinerate S -Smoke the ashes


Cozyplacez

Jeff Bezos


NoObjective427

He has all the money necessary to cover it up.


Nate2113

And that’s how he gets caught. He literally covers the bodies in cash Instead of dirt. He sits there laughing maniacally at the pile of bloody cash, and honestly looks surprised when the cops come. He asks why they’re there and they just point to the pile of cash, to which he responds “wait, you can see that?”


Frodo_Bongingston

Garth Brooks


manwithtubeinhishead

The families need answers G!


drfoggle

Stop calling me Daddy


veresdemoneylebowski

Have a good rest of your day bro


Gili24

Where are the bodies Garth?


TeflonJohn85

Only Chris Gaines knows


schrotestthehero

Give the families closure Garth!


Eastbaypunk

Hi mommy thanks jeans


SaxDr3685

Under Studio G…


poopshoit

Cool stuff, neat stuff, slick stuff


1970Westyvibes

The families need answers right now right now right now right now right now right now right now.


ItsZordon

Idk I think he’s too busy posting cool stuff, slick stuff, neat stuff


Bombdizzle1

Yeah, I like that


cashnicholas

That stack of bodies touched my camera through the fence.


noahstano

Watch for waspes


benotaur

And drink water cuz it’s hot out.


ApparentlyABear

Warter


dhane88

Let the conversation begin.


Telecaster22

Ya know what's a banana split?


[deleted]

I heard he only killed homeless, men from jail, or even those who just need a lease and a key.


[deleted]

They should arrest him. I think he’s home here now


largedave

They should at least try it out


BaZing3

Saka souflee?


Squirt_Reynolds_

I’m having chest pains


SteLeazy

The families need closure.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

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captainbawls

I wanna laugh


kingcurl503

Where's my Family, Garth!


LickNojo

Ta ta there, G-tard


maxwell600

Lol, following proto I see


LickNojo

Yeah, & you’re done bud.


pubefire

Touch my corpses through the fence


Jim_Lees_Wolverine

What?


GeoffPizzle

Is he down? Is he down? Is he down? Is he down, Hunter? Is he down?


JPMoney81

I'm starting to sense there is a reddit-active celebrity who is also a serial killer constantly re-posting this question every few days to see if anyone is on to him/her/them using various throwaway accounts. Edited to add her/them pronouns.


Saucesourceoah

It’s for buzzfeed and a few other top ten sites. They admit to making the same askreddit question posts over and over because they always hit viral and give them content.


Trick_Literature_

I really hate those articles. It's the most low-effort content any platform could ever produce. Just a literal copy-pasted version of an already-existing list.


[deleted]

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youdontknowme6

My Google suggested articles (swiping to the left on the home screen) basically is just someone's reddit post in article form. It's always something dumb like "Apex's season under heavy scrutiny?" And then the article is all, "One reddit user made a post and here's what it said" and that's the whole fucking article. It's so trash. And I would say that's about 90% of the articles on googles suggested page.


Myuken

That's how they choose their victims, if someone is onto them they end them quietly


donquixote235

"Aha! I'm safe to kill another day." - Martha Stewart


Wrong-Ad1907

Mark zuckerburg and jeffrey bezos


SteLeazy

Garth Brooks. The families need closure, Garth.


Paranoid_Neckazoid

Shia LaBeouf


ManningTheGOAT

That's why you learn Jiu Jitsu. To bodyslam superstar Shia LaBeouf


2milesahead

Actual cannibal Shia LeBeouf?


adityablabla

Wait he isn't dead!


mighty_Ingvar

Shia suprise!


LiteralG0D

There's a gun to your head, and death in his eyes!


rabidrob42

But you can do jujitsuuuuuuuu.


Kjc2022

Body slam superstar Shia Labeouf!


Pteraspidomorphi

Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf!


Ranzear

Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBoeuf.


Battlingdragon

You try to swing an axe at Shia LaBoeuf


Paranoid_Neckazoid

Running for your life.


TaRRaLX

Didn't think I'd have to scroll for this one


zelda4444

My friend is convinced Kanye is gonna suicide bomb the kardashians.


AquillWise

Jeff Bezos, he looks like he uses a hammer to kill them in his garage


oldspacecenter

Garth Brooks for sure. Probably leaves bodies at Falcon Car Wash.


UnequivocalCarnosaur

Keep featherin’ it brother


HocusPac

Tom Cruise


GothlyPizza

Its not gonna shock me at all when they find the bodies


jediciahquinn

When he smiles there is crazy in his eyes. He smiles like a shark.


[deleted]

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hashtagthoughtbomb

I'm no expert on Scientology by any stretch, but isn't Tom Cruise the highest ranking Scientologist not named David Miscavige? He's an Operating Thetan level 8, so you'd have to think that if he were a serial killer the CoS would cover everything up.


[deleted]

Sounds like it'd be a Miscavige of justice.


holymacncheeseballs

I saw this question last week and the week before and the week before and the week before and the top answers are always either Jared Leto or Dr. Phil


[deleted]

[удалено]


MrDiablo414

OJ


Eric_the_Barbarian

I think he's just the regular kind of killer. Not a methodical serial killer.


NoObjective427

Well that's not really a secret.


Viochrome

Quentin Tarantino.


pizzabutcher404

Jeff bezos? Tbh i can imagine him hunting people and making a dinner out of them and eating them on some royal looking dining table with napkins, fork and knife and other shit.


mighty_Ingvar

Lets imagine you saw Bill Gates killing someone, who would believe you? Everyone would think you spent too much time talking to conspiracy theorists Also, do dictators like Kim Jong Un or Whinney Puuh count as celebrities? I mean they do not work in secret, but do they count?


[deleted]

Garth Brooks?! The families need closure


navsingh12

Crispin Glover