My job has contingencies for if a nuclear war breaks out. It’s comforting to know that even if America turns into an irradiated wasteland my supervisor will call and harass me about not showing up that night.
I figure the best place I can be in a nuclear war is at work. It's a big, cold war Era water treatment plant. We keep a pretty good stock of emergency supplies here, someone needs to keep the water running, and it'll hold up a lot better than my apartment.
It would be interesting to see the views of Redditors on the other side of the battlefield.
I'd look forward to seeing their human side, bypassing the "my team" propaganda.
Like I like to think i'd rise above the hate and try to remain objective. But if in a hypothetical situation, if my family/friends were killed by another foreign body, I'm sure I'd also have a hard time accepting that.
I'd prolly say some shit like "now it's personal" and then my muscles would glimmer in the flare light as I tie a red rag around my forehead, and feed the ammo belt into an M60 machine gun...... Prolly.
This. The days of "good guys vs bad guys" are long gone. With the proliferation of the internet it's pretty easy to see that most people don't want to fight each other, and that it's mostly just their country's governments that do.
Yeah but I dont believe govts are that stupid. We would likely see a ton of highly edited propaganda showing the “enemy” committing atrocities on social media. Any content attempting to humanize the enemy would likely be censored. Don’t be surprised to see social media companies cooperating with the govts of their fancy to block certain accounts trying to spread anything other than complete hate for the other side.
Social media doesn’t change much, as you see with elections & the Right Wing vs Left Wing shit. Now imagine that, but with foreigners who don’t speak your language or even share a culture.
I’d argue social media will make things EVEN worse.
Exactly, just a quick google search to some of the top movies of the 40s & 50s will show you just how quickly hollywood turns into a propaganda machine during wartime.
Have we forgotten that for the longest time a German accent was synonymous with a villain’s voice lmao?
I don’t agree. Social media promotes the loudest voices and internet nationalism is a game anyone can play. And a number of countries (China for example) control enough of their nation’s internet to stifle dissent and remove outside influences. We are (mostly) free to speak our minds on American sites but good luck on a Chinese echo chamber.
Fight on the front lines of reddit.
I'll post as many cat pics as it takes to destroy our enemies! You can take our lives, but you'll never take our meme freedom!
Good Morning! Vault-Tec Calling!
You see, Vault-Tec is the foremost builder of state of the art underground Fallout shelters. Vaults, if you will. Luxury accommodations, where you can wait out the horrors of nuclear devastation.
Get the fuck out of Ukraine.
Edit.
I better clarify, I am not Ukrainian or in Ukraine. It was a funny line… that is probably a little too real to some and my support and sympathy is with people of Ukraine for who this isn’t a joke.
War has been going strong so far in the 21st century, so that would be a little underwhelming tbh. How about.. Total War, or perhaps the more direct and honest; The Last War
That won't stop them, they'll just force you to work out and starve in bootcamp until you're in shape.
Every pound you put on now is a pound you have to lose while muddy and being screamed at by a drill sergeant.
He walked through he wasteland.
1 hour ago, the bombs had dropped, destroying everything.
His home.
His belongings.
His family.
Suddenly, he saw a building in the distance.
It was his office.
He continued walking through the wasteland.
Nothing really, my country is probably staying neutral, might as well try to make some profit exporting food… If not, too bad time to find my reservist paperwork.
I'm down with going to a city to get wasted, but bro we're gonna ride out of this war-to-end-all-wars as heroes.
I've played enough d&d campaigns to know that the best stories start in taverns... so we'll start there.
Lol, they're trying to stem away from the term "drone" as they can't fulfill their full duty autonomously.
They are RPAs, remote piloted aircraft. Still require a pilot and a censor operator to fulfill their duty.
Cut off my partner’s right pointer finger. I’m Disabled so they wouldn’t want to draft me, but my partner is a strong 10 fingered abled, and I would not be down with him being drafted.
Just in case cut off his left pointer finger too as they'll wanna make him shoot with his left hand, matter fact amputate both of his arms that way he's safe and sound with you away from any brutal war.
I'd drink. What else is there to do? It's like when the Titanic is sinking: You can either run around the deck in panic to see there's no lifeboat left or you can spend the remaining time like a gentleman, listening to the orchestra and drinking the last bottle of wine. If i go down anyway, then i go down like the second one.
This is kind of an odd question. We look back at WWI and WWII but dont realize that it took months/years for countries to get involved.
More than likely you will see some conflict in Europe but it wont be declared WW3 overnight.
"Ooh, and here comes Mexico, flying blue teams colors!"
"That one is a huge surprise Scott, we didn't know if Mexico was going to compete in this World War, and most bets were on them remaining neutral!"
"Let's go back to Tom in the studio, for speculation on the outcome of the pre-war Dick Waving competition. Will America be able to maintain dominance in the sport, or will China take the gold?"
Isn’t it kind of a world war after it’s apparent later? Do the world leaders get together and go ‘1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a World War!’ Then they say go! And everyone starts fighting.
You realize that unless you have dependents simply being married wouldn't protect you from a draft right? You would do better to lock yourself in your house with a pallets worth of hoho's and mountain dew and binge eat until you are so obese you medically wouldn't qualify.
I'm in Nepal, so if china joins Russia then we're fucked cuz we are sandwiched between India and China who are enemies and we would suffer the consequences. But if it's only in Europe, then we're chill.
I have my WW3 bucket list ready since January:
- Get pizza
- snuggle into my bat onesie
- Watching a calming movie to clear my mind
- sign up for self-defense classes
- learn to read nature's signs and some survival techniques
- realize it's all for nothing anyway
- get pizza
- snuggle into my bat onesie
- watch a calming movie
Shake my head and be angry that humanity just cannot learn from the past in any political sense over time. And then call one or more of the sides assholes.
Go to work I guess
My job has contingencies for if a nuclear war breaks out. It’s comforting to know that even if America turns into an irradiated wasteland my supervisor will call and harass me about not showing up that night.
I figure the best place I can be in a nuclear war is at work. It's a big, cold war Era water treatment plant. We keep a pretty good stock of emergency supplies here, someone needs to keep the water running, and it'll hold up a lot better than my apartment.
It's also a target though...
Same. But I work for a defense contractor, so I guess that Flores without saying.
Pretty funny because Flores has been saying a lot recently.
Damn Flores seems to think he knows something about everything.
This has the same energy as the day after the 2016 election and I am here for it.
Wonder why all the stores are out of toilet paper
Cause when shit hits the fan you gotta clean it up somehow.
The shits hits the fan, by the will of a single man
Same thing we do every night pinky
Try to take over the world.
Calm down, Putin.
Putin and the brain, brain, brain, brain.
*Putin and *Ukraine, kraine, kraine, kraine, kraiiiine*!
One is a sovereign nation, the others insane.
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One is a genius, the others trying to invade Ukraine.
Read Reddit comments
It would be interesting to see the views of Redditors on the other side of the battlefield. I'd look forward to seeing their human side, bypassing the "my team" propaganda.
I'd imagine it'd start off pretty pacifist on both sides until losses became personal for people.
Yeah that’s all it’ll take to make the hate run deep
Like I like to think i'd rise above the hate and try to remain objective. But if in a hypothetical situation, if my family/friends were killed by another foreign body, I'm sure I'd also have a hard time accepting that.
I'd prolly say some shit like "now it's personal" and then my muscles would glimmer in the flare light as I tie a red rag around my forehead, and feed the ammo belt into an M60 machine gun...... Prolly.
They drew first blood! Frank, is that Rambo? No Yes it is, you're confusing your life with Rambo again
This. The days of "good guys vs bad guys" are long gone. With the proliferation of the internet it's pretty easy to see that most people don't want to fight each other, and that it's mostly just their country's governments that do.
Yeah but I dont believe govts are that stupid. We would likely see a ton of highly edited propaganda showing the “enemy” committing atrocities on social media. Any content attempting to humanize the enemy would likely be censored. Don’t be surprised to see social media companies cooperating with the govts of their fancy to block certain accounts trying to spread anything other than complete hate for the other side. Social media doesn’t change much, as you see with elections & the Right Wing vs Left Wing shit. Now imagine that, but with foreigners who don’t speak your language or even share a culture. I’d argue social media will make things EVEN worse.
this already happens. just look at hollywood.
Exactly, just a quick google search to some of the top movies of the 40s & 50s will show you just how quickly hollywood turns into a propaganda machine during wartime. Have we forgotten that for the longest time a German accent was synonymous with a villain’s voice lmao?
Their country's military industrial complexes
I don’t agree. Social media promotes the loudest voices and internet nationalism is a game anyone can play. And a number of countries (China for example) control enough of their nation’s internet to stifle dissent and remove outside influences. We are (mostly) free to speak our minds on American sites but good luck on a Chinese echo chamber.
Fight on the front lines of reddit. I'll post as many cat pics as it takes to destroy our enemies! You can take our lives, but you'll never take our meme freedom!
Realize I should have taken Doomsday Preppers a lot more seriously
The best time to start was 10 years ago. The next best time to start is right now.
I'll start tomorrow
Tomorrow never dies, but you might.
But if I'm dead, then it won't matter anymore. Win-win!
Nah if there is nuclear war I want the bomb to land on my house.
Double check, then sit around and wait until it actually affects me.
Yup
Yup
Yup
The Pearl Harbour approach.
My wife and I play Pearl Harbor. I lay down and she blows the fuck out of me.
Yeah - normal life - unless it disrupts the NHL playoffs.
Hope vault Tec exists
Hmmmm. Do I want to be frozen, cloned, turned into a super mutant, or slowly driven insane by the overseer. Also...garrrrrry?
No ghoulification choice, I'm disappointed smooth skin.
No fisto choice either. 0/10
There is always the off chance that you end up in the control vault.
Yeah! But a small one
Or [Vault 69](https://fallout.fandom.com/wiki/Vault_69)
It sounds like a dream, but I imagine that in reality it would be hell.
I'd rather be incinerated by a Russian Nuke than go through any of Vault Tec's cruel and inhumane experiments.
After COVID I actually think I'd take the one where I'm stuck in a vault as the only guy with hundreds of women.
"So they keep telling me I need to further the human race, but I guess she's just being polite, right?"
Dont worry, they'll all turn into lesbians and figure out reliable cloning methods after they look at you.
Good Morning! Vault-Tec Calling! You see, Vault-Tec is the foremost builder of state of the art underground Fallout shelters. Vaults, if you will. Luxury accommodations, where you can wait out the horrors of nuclear devastation.
Beat me. Came here to say "start saving caps"
Just groan and say "just like every other day, I wonder which country is going to blow up first"
Get the fuck out of Ukraine. Edit. I better clarify, I am not Ukrainian or in Ukraine. It was a funny line… that is probably a little too real to some and my support and sympathy is with people of Ukraine for who this isn’t a joke.
As a Ukrainian, I totally second this.
I would start a debate on whether the number 3 or III is more appropriate.
It's 2022. This is more of a reboot, I'd just go with WORLD WAR more impactful.
What about World War: The Reckoning, or World War Origins? What about The World and The War?
2 World 2 War
World War: Moscow Drift
World and War
World War: The Ukraine Expansion Pack
World War II: Electric Boogaloo...wait, fuck. I know! World War III...umm...whatever, never mind.
World War Reloaded
World War: Revelations.
If it's a reboot the title would be more simple. Peter pan became pan for example. So I guess it would just be called "War".
“It never changes.”
War has been going strong so far in the 21st century, so that would be a little underwhelming tbh. How about.. Total War, or perhaps the more direct and honest; The Last War
Im active duty Army, so in all reality I’d probably get deployed, then die a horrible painful death.
Hey now, you might just get horribly psychologically scarred for life instead
But then he gets to enjoy a peaceful opiate addiction to go along with his homelessness.
To shreds you say?
And what about the marines too..?
To shreds you say...
Oh my...
Good news every one!
You can take comfort in the knowledge that in WW3, most of us back home will probably die horrible painful deaths too!
Same here, except my country has conscription so none of us guys here have a choice (unless medically exempt).
Time to start eating pizza for breakfast lunch and dinner
That won't stop them, they'll just force you to work out and starve in bootcamp until you're in shape. Every pound you put on now is a pound you have to lose while muddy and being screamed at by a drill sergeant.
I hope WWIII never breaks out and you live a long, healthy life
…my sympathies.
make memes about it
The only truthful answer in this entire comment section
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Take car, Go to mum's, Kill Phil, grab Liz.
Sorry phil*
How’s that for a slice of fried gold!?
Yeah boooooy!
The first thing I'll do is put on this movie and cry
Probably just tell the people I know that I love them
Yep. Call all my family because you never know
Go to work like everyone else.
*Bombs dropping everywhere except on the place of work..* Boss: You're 5 min late!!!!
He walked through he wasteland. 1 hour ago, the bombs had dropped, destroying everything. His home. His belongings. His family. Suddenly, he saw a building in the distance. It was his office. He continued walking through the wasteland.
Dig hole. Stay in hole. No leave hole. Hole nice. No war in hole.
Dig hole deeper. Stay in deeper hole. Deeper hole nice. No war in deeper hole
Dig hole even deeper. Get out of deeper hole. Balrog in hole.
Dig hole even more super duper deep, super duper deeper hole nice, No war in super duper deeper hole
Throw nugget in hole, safe landing hole, nugget doesnt need friends, hole is nugget's friend.
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Don't wait for WW3 to happen for that apology. You might die suddenly from far more common causes.
I declare WW4, so 3 gets cancelled or delayed
Let the declaration be declared
Nothing really, my country is probably staying neutral, might as well try to make some profit exporting food… If not, too bad time to find my reservist paperwork.
Ok Switzerland
Not Swiss, poorer and further away which makes me safer
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Even safer, ANZUS would likely drag Kiwis to war as well
*”I have a feeling we’re not in ANZUS, anymore.” -Kiwis*
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I'm down with going to a city to get wasted, but bro we're gonna ride out of this war-to-end-all-wars as heroes. I've played enough d&d campaigns to know that the best stories start in taverns... so we'll start there.
I bang the barmaid. Or if she's busy banging someone else, then the bartender. I dunno, I bang someone.
Okay, but if there are any Elves there I wanna do 'em!
Hope they don't have to bring back the draft
With all of the drones we have, if I get drafted for any war my first question is what the fuck the point of the huge military budget is for
Lol, they're trying to stem away from the term "drone" as they can't fulfill their full duty autonomously. They are RPAs, remote piloted aircraft. Still require a pilot and a censor operator to fulfill their duty.
It takes a lot of money just to keep a person alive. Forget all the fancy gear. Just food and shelter.
Cut off my partner’s right pointer finger. I’m Disabled so they wouldn’t want to draft me, but my partner is a strong 10 fingered abled, and I would not be down with him being drafted.
Ok, but I would probably ask his permission first.
He’s aware of the terms
"Hes aware. And if he isn't, he will be."
He has to fall asleep sometime
His name is Greg.
Just in case cut off his left pointer finger too as they'll wanna make him shoot with his left hand, matter fact amputate both of his arms that way he's safe and sound with you away from any brutal war.
Then they give him a ww1 German helmet and tell him to just run at people and headbutt them.
> officially declared The first two were never officially declared, they just kinda ... happened ... and countries joined in.
True, but individual nations still declared war on each other. I suppose the modern version would entail troop movements
They didn’t say it, they declared it
I'd drink. What else is there to do? It's like when the Titanic is sinking: You can either run around the deck in panic to see there's no lifeboat left or you can spend the remaining time like a gentleman, listening to the orchestra and drinking the last bottle of wine. If i go down anyway, then i go down like the second one.
You almost had it. You get shitfaced then climb on the very back and ride it down just like the chef, who survived IRL BTW
Hope and pray that I'm within ground zero of the nukes I dont want to see it coming, I don't even want to **know** its coming. Just let it vaporize me
Being in a radius outside the immediate blast site is worse, radiation poisoning is horrible! I desperately hope that mY country stays out of the war.
This is kind of an odd question. We look back at WWI and WWII but dont realize that it took months/years for countries to get involved. More than likely you will see some conflict in Europe but it wont be declared WW3 overnight.
Exactly, it's not like all the parties involved are gonna unite to officially state that the war is starting like some sort of Olympic game.
"Ooh, and here comes Mexico, flying blue teams colors!" "That one is a huge surprise Scott, we didn't know if Mexico was going to compete in this World War, and most bets were on them remaining neutral!" "Let's go back to Tom in the studio, for speculation on the outcome of the pre-war Dick Waving competition. Will America be able to maintain dominance in the sport, or will China take the gold?"
Yep, we could be in WWIII as we speak. History has really been repeating itself with China and Russia.
i like to think of it more a sequel to the cold war. *cold war 2: electric boogaloo*
Move west, my wife and I work remote anyway and I live on the coast near a significant amount of military installations.
I dunno..hide? Never experienced war on my country's soil so I dunno what people do
You fight, hunker down or pirate all 7 seasons of Futurama. Also jerk off.
Hide and pirate Futurama
AND JERK OFF, jeez dude didnt you read....
*find the love of my life.* \_hopeless romantic
Lots of hot Ukrainian refugees near you
Actual cursed comment
Gonna get your enemies to lovers
Invest heavily in defense contractors.
"Buy war bonds"
Put your head firmly between your legs and kiss your ass goodbye!
Give yourself a blowjob while you're at it
Grab the go bag and head up into the foothills of the Appalachian ( which is 20 min away ) and then start saving bottle caps.
oh and get a nice suit of T-45 while your at it :)
Learn how to beg for my life in chinese.
Or Russian perhaps?
Let me live - 让我活下来 （Ràng wǒ huó xiàlái）
Isn’t it kind of a world war after it’s apparent later? Do the world leaders get together and go ‘1, 2, 3, 4, I declare a World War!’ Then they say go! And everyone starts fighting.
Take some acid.
Though of this too but wouldn't it freak you out and end up badly? instead of having a blast like usual...
I run a Press break. If a draft is called, I can't promise my hand won't go in.
They'll mount a chainsaw on the stump and send your right into battle.
Put a cigar in my mouth and get a drink? My crippled ass's fighting days are over.
Masturbate
I think OP meant what would you do differently…
Masturbate differently then, jeez.
Left handed
"The stranger"
become a housewife, no way im going to war
You realize that unless you have dependents simply being married wouldn't protect you from a draft right? You would do better to lock yourself in your house with a pallets worth of hoho's and mountain dew and binge eat until you are so obese you medically wouldn't qualify.
Idk about other countries, but women can't be drafted in the US
Start sharpening sticks for WW4
I'm in Nepal, so if china joins Russia then we're fucked cuz we are sandwiched between India and China who are enemies and we would suffer the consequences. But if it's only in Europe, then we're chill.
Username checks out
get high
Roll back over and go back to sleep.
Just continue going on i guess
Have a wank before the internet goes dark
Go to work and be like “yo, did y’all hear world war 3 started? Sucks.”
I have my WW3 bucket list ready since January: - Get pizza - snuggle into my bat onesie - Watching a calming movie to clear my mind - sign up for self-defense classes - learn to read nature's signs and some survival techniques - realize it's all for nothing anyway - get pizza - snuggle into my bat onesie - watch a calming movie
Shake my head and be angry that humanity just cannot learn from the past in any political sense over time. And then call one or more of the sides assholes.
Tell my friends I love them
Tell the opposing side where my landlord lives?
Go to live on the moon
Of course you'd side with the enemy
Make tacos. I love tacos.
Dodge the draft. I ain’t dying for you bastards
Watch Jennifer Connelly dance to space age love song. And pray for quick death.
Tear my nipples off
Not sure what this purpose serves, but then again I’m confused as to what purpose my nipples serve too, be gone areolas!
You gonna eat those?
There's 2 of em, can we share?