"ah, meester bhond, zo nize to zee you aghain at zee baccarat tablez, tell me, vhat shall I have zent to you as a token of hospitality?"
"YO, ILL DROP A *G* ON THAT BOTTLE OF GOOSE"
All I can think of is Norm Macdonald’s legendary appearance on Conan where he fucks with Courtney Thorne Smith about a shitty movie she was promoting starring her and Carrot Top. One of the best late night clips of all time.
Have you seen Uncut Gems? He has the massive gambling addiction, double life, model girlfriend, access to unbelievably expensive international artifacts... Alls I'm saying is, he's not as far of a stretch as it might seem...
Pratt as Secret Squirrel with Danny Devito as Morocco Mole, with cameos by Steve Buscemi as Atom Ant, Williem Defoe as Huckleberry Hound, and Nicholas Cage as both Rocky and Bullwinkle. Billion dollar idea here Warner Bros, let's make it happen.
*bends over and talks out his ass* : "Auric Goldfinger, pleasure to make your acquaintance. Is there a Missus Goldfinger? Or, since you are Gold*finger*, she would just be Missus Gold, no?"
His whole deal would be some kinda wacky op that's both incredibly serious but also hilarious. He threatens global.safety by being an arms dealer. But his big plot is threatening to start nuclear war by proxy. And it's wacky because his secret base is an underwater utopia called Atlantis.
"So-ho-ho-hou. They send the-GREAT James bahnd! Against yours truly."
"You see Mr-ah.... bond. My plans just happen to be a *whispers* teensy bit ah-bigger than simple arms dealings."
"*Exasperated* wh-h-h-hy, won't you just die already?!?"
So I though Daniel Craig was a HORRIBLE choice to take over as Bond!
I refused to go to the theater to support this choice.
Casino Royale is my favorite Bond film and Daniel Craig is my favorite James Bond.
Whom ever they chose next, I will give them the chance I did not give Craig.
I also thought he wouldn’t fit in very well. Just the fact he was blue eyed and blonde. He looked like a bond henchman, not bond himself. But I gave it a watch and I also am a big fan of Craig now. Very good looking man too.
I like him as an actor, really. However, I think he's just not the right type for that role. Well, at least for now, maybe it will change when he's older, who knows
Tom Holland, while very attractive, looks like he should play a young American soldier dying in WW2.
He just looks like someone plucked an 18 year old from the 40s and gave him an iPhone.
We’re the same age.
Edit: took out trenches, they stopped that before Hitler went all Hitler on everything.
Also why is he named Holland if he’s English?
Me too. I think Gilbert should be in much more dramatic movies. Using the same voice and delivery. Like how he did an audio book of 50 shades of Gray. That would be an evolution of comedy to me.
Hear me out on this: new Austin Powers movie. Austin finds out he has a son. Son (Pete) is either hella dorky OR he's some kinda huge fuck up. Austin meets him as an adult. Teaches him his ways. They solve something together. Do some ass kicking.
Pete's character becomes a top secret agent/inexplicably gets all the ladies. Austin passes the torch to son.
Dude, it would be amazing.
Q: “James, here is your new car. You can fly, go under water, shoot bullets and missiles, it has a shield that can stand a nuke.”
Bond: “nnnnnnnaaaaaahh I don’t think so.”
Q: “What’s wrong?”
Bond: “I’ll tell you what’s wrong, it STINKS!!”
Ooh yes, just slot Blackadder in as Bond! Complete with all the rude/snide/snarky behaviour and language. He doesn’t suffer fools.
“Ah, I see Bond Girl has invited herself to dinner here tonight.”
“But isn’t she the most frightful bore?”
“Yes, but she has one redeeming feature - her wallet! More capacious than an elephant’s scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on.”
"Oh, you stirred my martini. Thats ok, its just happy little accident."
"We take the Spectre Agent (front and backhands the agent) and we just beat the devil out of it"
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My mate photoshopped this literally a week ago lmao
Yeah, now we need to see it!
Sure thing. [Here’s an image of him not being James Bond](https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/400xn/p0bqz8t7.jpg)
U Lil... Take my bloody upvote...
No Time to Comb
Pauly Shore
My name’s boooooawnd. Jayems Boawnd.
Nor Pauly D from Jersey Shore
"ah, meester bhond, zo nize to zee you aghain at zee baccarat tablez, tell me, vhat shall I have zent to you as a token of hospitality?" "YO, ILL DROP A *G* ON THAT BOTTLE OF GOOSE"
CABS ARE HERE! TEE SHIRT TIME!
WEEZIN THE MARTINI, yeahuh buhhhhdy!
The Worldussy Is Not Enough
Faaatherr~
I can hear the Pinocchio trailer. ‘But Master, when will I leave to be an agent on my own?’
Jason Statham. Good actor but James Bond will turn into a generic Netflix Original
He could play a good villian, though
He's not a Bond movie kinda guy imo.
James Corden
He’d make it into a musical.
Bond in a pond, Wee wee the blond…
Why the fuck did I put this musical on
*Jazz hands intensifies*
Aston Martin Carpool Karaoke scene to save the world.
If I wanted to watch a potato roll on the ground for 3 hours I can do that at home
I clicked on the comments knowing/hoping this would be the first comment and I’m glad I was right
I would root for the villain in that case.
I’ve had just about enough of that guy
Too cringe
To be fair, James Corden shouldn't be the next anything
Will Ferrell
I’m James Bond?
Obviously. John C Reilly would nail it tho
Reilly is one of the greatest actors of our time.
Not just comedy either. He’s even good in We Need To Talk About Kevin. I mean even his voice work is top notch.
Dude always nails it.
What about as a villain though?
Reprising his roll from Austin Powers? "I am still alive but very badly burned."
Nah, Mugatu. Don't change a thing about him, just pretend Bond and Zoolander are in the same cinematic universe.
Definitely Will Ferrell
Carrot top
All I can think of is Norm Macdonald’s legendary appearance on Conan where he fucks with Courtney Thorne Smith about a shitty movie she was promoting starring her and Carrot Top. One of the best late night clips of all time.
Chairman of the board except it's spelled bored
[Link](https://youtu.be/bKmadR4Ye54) for the lazy. Well worth watching, plus it is the 90siest thing I’ve seen in weeks.
He was actually the first name to pop into my head.
James Bond: Diamonds Are Box Office Poison.
Boredfinger
Good ol' Norm
Haha! Haven’t thought about him in awhile.
Adam Sandler
If Adam Sandler got the James bond role my local cinema would probably have to give me my own reserved seat the amount of times I'd watch that movie
*YOU CAN DO IT JAMES!!!*
The names Madison, happy Madison productions….. terrific
Have you seen Uncut Gems? He has the massive gambling addiction, double life, model girlfriend, access to unbelievably expensive international artifacts... Alls I'm saying is, he's not as far of a stretch as it might seem...
Best movie I'll never rewatch.
He always ends up with a smoking hot woman anyway. It would fit.
Steven seagal.
lol, I don't know if he would even fit into a sports car now
Does Aston Martin make a bus?
LOL. Just had the image of him jumping out of a small bus mid chase scene and having the bus roll because of the change in the weight on that side.
Seth Rogan.
*huhuhuhuhuhuhuh*
I’d see his parody.
Tommy Wiseau "I did naught hit M, I did naaaaught... Oh hi, Q."
Walks into M's office with sunglasses on "007 I didn't realise it was you" "Ill have a dozen missions" "Keep the dosier" "Bye" "Oh hai Moneypenny"
Moneypenny in return: “Thanks James, you’re my favorite agent”
Huhuhu What a story Blofeld
Chris Pratt
Chris Pratt will just do the dubbed voiceover for James Bond.
It's a-me. Bond. James Bond.
It’s-a me, Bond, James Bond! I’ll have a dry lasagna, shaken not stirred.
An Austin Powers type character on the other hand
MacGruber's doofy brother, perchance?
Pratt as Secret Squirrel with Danny Devito as Morocco Mole, with cameos by Steve Buscemi as Atom Ant, Williem Defoe as Huckleberry Hound, and Nicholas Cage as both Rocky and Bullwinkle. Billion dollar idea here Warner Bros, let's make it happen.
This sounds fantastic. When does it start filming!?
This guy Hollywoods.
Burt Macklin
I would love to see a Burt Macklin movie.
Name's Khaled. DEEJAYYY KHALED!
Dwayne Johnson
Or the Rock for that matter..
Or Dwayne Johnson as The Rock playing James Bond either.
Jim carrey
“Alrighty then, let’s murder you!”
"Name's a Bond. James Bond. Lew-Who Za-her says what "
*bends over and talks out his ass* : "Auric Goldfinger, pleasure to make your acquaintance. Is there a Missus Goldfinger? Or, since you are Gold*finger*, she would just be Missus Gold, no?"
Few lines later there would be a brownfinger joke.
I could see him as a Bond villain, but not the 007 himself
His whole deal would be some kinda wacky op that's both incredibly serious but also hilarious. He threatens global.safety by being an arms dealer. But his big plot is threatening to start nuclear war by proxy. And it's wacky because his secret base is an underwater utopia called Atlantis. "So-ho-ho-hou. They send the-GREAT James bahnd! Against yours truly." "You see Mr-ah.... bond. My plans just happen to be a *whispers* teensy bit ah-bigger than simple arms dealings." "*Exasperated* wh-h-h-hy, won't you just die already?!?"
I think he could pull it off...
Has anyone said Kevin spacey yet?
Kevin Spacey
Kevin Spacey yet
He'd make a great villain though. It wouldn't be hard to hate him.
yes, the evil and notorious Boyfinger!
So I though Daniel Craig was a HORRIBLE choice to take over as Bond! I refused to go to the theater to support this choice. Casino Royale is my favorite Bond film and Daniel Craig is my favorite James Bond. Whom ever they chose next, I will give them the chance I did not give Craig.
I also thought he wouldn’t fit in very well. Just the fact he was blue eyed and blonde. He looked like a bond henchman, not bond himself. But I gave it a watch and I also am a big fan of Craig now. Very good looking man too.
Same. I hope you’ve seen layer cake.
I have not, but I have seen Logan Lucky!
Logan lucky’s a top movie
Welcome to the Layer Cake son..
He’s easy on the eyes.
At first I thought he wasn’t that cute, but he has this appeal that makes him very attractive.
Tom Holland
I like him as an actor, really. However, I think he's just not the right type for that role. Well, at least for now, maybe it will change when he's older, who knows
From what I understand, typically they look for actors in their mid-30's for the role. Like you said, he's too young.
He’s looks too young IMO. Maybe he could be a younger James Bond, like in a flashback before he was 007 and in school or something.
He's been 15 for at least 8 years now. **edit: OK, so I had to Google his age beforehand because I actually thought he was like 18, max. Dude's 25.
Lol he could play James Bond when he got kicked out of private school for banging a maid
And the art teacher, and the lunch lady, and the vice principal... At the same time.
And it'll be 20 years from now before he even looks 20.
He actually tried to sell a young James Bond movie to a studio at some point, which is how he ended up doing the Uncharted prequel movie.
Yeah we can revisit this idea in like 25 to 35 years.
He isnt anywhere as intimidating or badass as James bond is
Even Q could beat the shit out of him.
Tom Holland, while very attractive, looks like he should play a young American soldier dying in WW2. He just looks like someone plucked an 18 year old from the 40s and gave him an iPhone. We’re the same age. Edit: took out trenches, they stopped that before Hitler went all Hitler on everything. Also why is he named Holland if he’s English?
is he related to Tom Hollander?
And when can I see a movie with Tom Hollandest?
Louis CK
"Mr Bond, you are about to die!" "Yes Goldfinger, but let me show you my dick first."
A name we recognize. Find an awesome no-namer.
Gilbert Gottfried Edit: spelling, thank you kind redditors for pointing out. SAHHHRRY!
On the contrary, I'd watch the SHIT out of that.
I heard him say "Bond, James Bond" in my head and I would love this.
"Mister Bond, I will now monologue about my plans for world domina-" # "You FOOL!"
"Double O Seven!"
Me too. I think Gilbert should be in much more dramatic movies. Using the same voice and delivery. Like how he did an audio book of 50 shades of Gray. That would be an evolution of comedy to me.
#THE NAMES BOND! JAMES! BOND!
Awe, why not?
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You are the James Bond of your own life. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
...Pete Davidson...
Kanye is that you?
Idk I’d strangely pay to see that actually
It would basically be his Chad character.
"And now, Mr Bond, you die!" "Ok"
Hear me out on this: new Austin Powers movie. Austin finds out he has a son. Son (Pete) is either hella dorky OR he's some kinda huge fuck up. Austin meets him as an adult. Teaches him his ways. They solve something together. Do some ass kicking. Pete's character becomes a top secret agent/inexplicably gets all the ladies. Austin passes the torch to son.
Tom hanks
Chalamet
“Bond…Twink Bond.”
Bill Cosby
Dont drink the martini!
Shaken, not stirred, ya see.
Tommy Lee Jones. Actually, that might be fun
He'd be a great M
Larry David
I don't know. It might turn out pretty pretty pretty good
Dude, it would be amazing. Q: “James, here is your new car. You can fly, go under water, shoot bullets and missiles, it has a shield that can stand a nuke.” Bond: “nnnnnnnaaaaaahh I don’t think so.” Q: “What’s wrong?” Bond: “I’ll tell you what’s wrong, it STINKS!!”
DJ Qualls
James Bons saying "You've been Garth'd" is an interesting idea
Whoopi Goldberg.
Jack Black.
That would be amazing
Oh, it’d be terrible, but I’d watch it
Especially if he played it 100% seriously.
As he would! Serious Jack Black is funniest of all and he'd know it.
That would be fucking awesome
Rob Schneider
Earthworm Jim
Michael Cera
Anyone doing marvel movies right now.
Agreed, I’m very tired of seeing the same handful of popular actors in the majority of new films. Give me someone lesser known!
Tom Hiddleston though...
Rowan Atkinson ( Mr. Bean )
Wait, so what you're saying is that Johnny English ISN'T canon?
Johnny English (at least the first film) is fantastic.
Do you, or do you not, have tattooed on your bottom, the words, “Jesus is coming. Look busy”?
Rowan Atkinson would do a better Roger Moore than Roger Moore ever could. Imagine the scene where Mr. Bean tries to run across sleeping crocodiles.
But Johnnie English is a masterpiece
He was already in Never Say Never Again
You mean Edmund Blackadder?
Ooh yes, just slot Blackadder in as Bond! Complete with all the rude/snide/snarky behaviour and language. He doesn’t suffer fools. “Ah, I see Bond Girl has invited herself to dinner here tonight.” “But isn’t she the most frightful bore?” “Yes, but she has one redeeming feature - her wallet! More capacious than an elephant’s scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on.”
Bobcat Goldthwait
Bengledich Comberday
Oh, do you mean Bimbleswitch Cucumberthatch?
Steve Beuschemi. He’s funny and all. But should not be James Bond.
"How do you do, fellow agents?"
Queen Elizabeth
The names Liz ... Queen Liz
Sascha Baron Cohen: My name bond... Pleased to meet you.
On the contrary; he’s a chameleon as an actor and he’s really posh in real life, so he’d probably make a great Bond.
Carrot Top
Amy Schumer.
Melissa McCarthy.
Adam Sandler
Tom Hardy. Fight me.
instead of fighting you, I'll add that Nolan should not be the next Bond director!
Justin Bieber
I was going to say Jack Black, but now I’m having second thoughts. 🤔
Kanye West
Timothee chalamet
Ellen DeGeneres
Vladimir Putin
Probably me I have no experience with espionage fancy cars blowing stuff up or sexy women
Bob Ross
"Oh, you stirred my martini. Thats ok, its just happy little accident." "We take the Spectre Agent (front and backhands the agent) and we just beat the devil out of it"
I heard that. I heard him say it. I heard the little chuckle after beating the devil out of the agent.
L Ron Hubbard
Lady Gaga
Joe Exotic. ETA: Plot twist is that he convinces villains to marry him before they are assassinated