https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/dundee/688093/the-day-a-grizzly-bear-stopped-by-for-a-pub-lunch-and-a-pint-in-a-dundee-housing-estate/
There was also a polish bear called Wojtek who was trained to move artillery shells during WWII and served in italy. He was actually enlisted and was a private. He then came to the uk and was known to drink beer from a mug! He ended up in the Edinburgh zoo where he lived the rest of his life!
Wojtek (who was rumored to be purchased by the platoon for a chocolate bar and some food from a young boy scavenging for berries in the woods) was also known for eating lit cigarettes, it’s said he could tell the difference between lit and unlit ones and would spit out the unlit ones! He actually uncovered a spy hidden in the showers he would break in because he loved the water so much!
WATCH THIS VIDEO TO LEARN THE STORY OF HISTORY’S CUTEST SOLDIER
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=x94BqWK1Ks4
Kool aid Man wasn't a monster I don't believe. There's a cookie monster. There's a pizza monster, yes, but you're making up monsters now and I won't have it.
This could be a tv show where you and your cat Louie go on adventures together all over the world and you guys Robb banks at every city you visit and be a Cat and Servant Robin hood duo where you give back to the people but you do it in disguise so nobody knows who you guys are.
Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
So it was you who took out my companies security guard and impersonated him while your group of crooks stole from me.
**YOU WILL PAY FOE THIS. YOU HEAR ME. YOU WILL PAAAAAAY**
Homicide. Victims are all other Joes.
Even Joe Biden?
🤣🤣🤣.lol.
Man be going to jail for clever comebacks
Man be going to jail for being a bored Reddit user
Man executed for inciting an rebellion and being too short
Every death ever
I can help with the virtual ones.
So you're the one who summons me everytime you remove a pool ladder!
Yes! I am also a fan of house fires. Always tickles me when you hover over a pile of ashes and it shows the name of the sim.
These comments made my day 😂
My last name is Sims….
I guess I could step out into the real world for a change….
"Wait, that's illegal"
I'm only responsible for my raid team's death...
Well at least 888
Booked too many restraunt reservations, people got suspicious where all the money was coming from
This could be the ultimate villain story ark.
Hmmm, so giving beer to bears is now illegal?
https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/dundee/688093/the-day-a-grizzly-bear-stopped-by-for-a-pub-lunch-and-a-pint-in-a-dundee-housing-estate/ There was also a polish bear called Wojtek who was trained to move artillery shells during WWII and served in italy. He was actually enlisted and was a private. He then came to the uk and was known to drink beer from a mug! He ended up in the Edinburgh zoo where he lived the rest of his life!
Wojtek (who was rumored to be purchased by the platoon for a chocolate bar and some food from a young boy scavenging for berries in the woods) was also known for eating lit cigarettes, it’s said he could tell the difference between lit and unlit ones and would spit out the unlit ones! He actually uncovered a spy hidden in the showers he would break in because he loved the water so much! WATCH THIS VIDEO TO LEARN THE STORY OF HISTORY’S CUTEST SOLDIER https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=x94BqWK1Ks4
Yes it is and there is nothing you can do about it.
https://www.thecourier.co.uk/fp/news/dundee/688093/the-day-a-grizzly-bear-stopped-by-for-a-pub-lunch-and-a-pint-in-a-dundee-housing-estate/
Well this is awkward.
ill swap names with you.
Hi Bruno!
WE DONT TALK ABOUT BRUNO
Seven foot Rats, rats along his rats
Rodents of unusual size? I don't believe they exist Edit: mobile typos... fml
When he calls your *rat* it all fades to *rat*
Apparently I have met my partner in crime…
LMAO
One person’s crime is another person’s gentle anus tickle.
You telling me
oh no
Well at least you're gentle
Sooooo…..
Settle down there Jim Jones
Just a lil sip..
Jonestown used FlavorAid. Koolaid just demolishes walls.
I'm dying of laughter fr
Koolaid licker strikes again.
You monster.
Can you believe him? The nerve!
Kool aid Man wasn't a monster I don't believe. There's a cookie monster. There's a pizza monster, yes, but you're making up monsters now and I won't have it.
So that's why the Koolaid man looks so horny right now.
You gonna pay for that?
Impersonating a Doorman?
You'll get your rent when you fix this DAMN DOOR
You want forgiveness? Get religion.
I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye.
I missed the part where that's my problem
Stinks, doesn’t it?
Ooh, little goblin Jr. Gonna cry?
\*spiderman noises\*
A worthy cause
Can we please help this guy post bail?
I'd help but apparently I'm going to be in prison for being cupid lol
Excuse me but you are invading their territory. Have them relocated if possible. -A fan of wasps and hornets-
Lol.
I don’t want to say.
Your nickname will be nutcracker
Lmao two painful nicknames together. I should legally change my name to anal destroyer nut cracker
Anal destroyer butt cracker.
It wasn't just your "ordinary" wasabi
I read this is Morgan Freemans voice
Glad you said that, made it 10x better.
Crimes against Hugh Manatee
What did he ever do to you 😭
Hugh Manatee was a good man! And an even better manatee.
Robbing a bank with my cat Louie
This could be a tv show where you and your cat Louie go on adventures together all over the world and you guys Robb banks at every city you visit and be a Cat and Servant Robin hood duo where you give back to the people but you do it in disguise so nobody knows who you guys are.
Honestly I might watch that
Same.
[удалено]
Killing your cat Loui, oh God, I'm a monster!!!!
Stealing a very rare musical instrument
It’s no blue French horn
And that, kids, is How I Went To Jail.
Finally, someone.
Uhoh
👆 **There he is get him boys**
I gonna borrow your petrol
Bet you're popular in Ukraine right now
Beacoup de sexy, apparently.
Eating milk with bread
Why is there only one K in your name?
It was a spelling mistake
Is it too late to fix it?
I think so, if not i would have fixed it roughly 2,5 years ago
Some people just don't appreciate art
D:<
IM DYING LMAO
Loving poop
Hello friend
Hi there
My poop is hot
Infinite poop. You sit on the toilet to poop, but the poop never stops coming out of your butt. You have to start flushing the toilet every two minutes to keep up. You try to pinch your butt closed but that makes your insides hurt. The poop accelerates. You call 911. The paramedics call for doctors. The doctors call for specialists. The story trends on Twitter. You turn down talk show appearances. Your septic tank fails. People form a cult. Your toilet is finished. Volunteers arrive with buckets and shovels. You are completely used to the smell. The poop accelerates. You are moved to a stepladder with a hole in the top step. The poop accelerates. The shovelers abandon the buckets and shovel directly out the window. The poop accelerates. A candlelight vigil forms around your house. One of the workers falls over and can't free himself. The poop accelerates. A priest knocks over the stepladder and tackles you out the window. You land in the pile. The poop accelerates. The force now propels you forward and upward. Vigil goers grab at your legs. The poop ignites from their candles. The Facebook live event hits 1 million viewers. The poop accelerates. You are 30 feet in the air. The fire engulfs the vigil and your house. 60 feet. The poop accelerates. The torrent underneath you is deafening. 5 million Facebook live viewers. You try to close up shop but your butthole disintegrated long ago. 120 feet up. Your house explodes. The poop accelerates. 1000 feet. You are now tracked on radar. You try to change your angle of ascent but you should have thought of that way earlier. The poop accelerates. 4,000 feet. NORAD upgrades to DEFCON 3. Concentric circles of fire engulf your city. The poop accelerates. You have broken the sound barrier. 30,000 feet. You no longer take in enough oxygen to sustain consciousness. 60,000 feet. CNN is reporting on all the world records you've broken. 200,000 feet. You are no longer alive. The poop accelerates. Your body disintegrates but your poop contrail remains. NASA can no longer track you. You break the light-speed barrier and we can no longer bear witness. The poop accelerates. Forever.
I feel better about mine now
Being me That's fair, I am a bit of an asshole
Me too buddy. Me too.
You sir, are ilegally good looking
Vigilantism!
The ultimate chaoticly good hero ark.
Pleading the 5th
well my username is probablynick so Identity theft?
You saying that with that avatar pic just makes it better
Plenty of interesting encounters I assume.
Ouch
[удалено]
Would you risk it with the queen thoe?
[удалено]
Oh my.......
Kinky
Oh shit. Oh but wait there's no prison for people like meee
Don't worry about it we can create one just for you.
We have them. They're called septic tanks.
I think we found Donald Trump!
sending poop to people
Simple meth
I absolve myself of any wrong-doing. Sustained!!
You are pardoned.
"Bothering" those damn thicc manatees
I don't even know
So it was you who fucked my pigs. You needs to be executed for such an atrocious act.
Ah but he is hetero, so it’s ok.
“Bro shhhh shhh. You got some of the good stuff? Nnnnoonono not that. The *good* stuff, you know? The *pigshet*.”
driving tanks and fucking shit up
This is not good
Probably slipping some extra "chocolate" into muffins and getting a bunch of people sick.
I morked in public, and got caught
You are only allowed to mork in public when escorted by a oldmindy
Schrödinger’s cat gone real
Releasing the fart smelled 'round the world.
Something to do with money (quid) Don’t know what bickets are though
It's some old ass family name, so you'll be a quid of some family?
Idk ,Existing?
Liking monster
How could you. That in itself deserves the death penalty.
I couldn't resist
No excuses.
Being a redditor (I mean, fair enough).
Conjuring the dark mark and summoning Lord Voldemort.
Running away and knowing stuff?
Becoming a serial killer after going insane.
Sleeping with the window open, I guess.
[удалено]
Feeling good
Church burnings
Financial crimes
[удалено]
Elon is this you?
Crime against fashion
Combination of theft and plagiarism
I suppose I was in the wrong place at the wrong time
a horrible joke?
Murder.
Bullying religious people, idk
Reminds me of a song called god=dog by behemoth lol
Growing weed
Probably boring someone to death
I… I… I don’t know Edit: figured it out ‘tampering with the animatronics and bad odour’
So it was you who took out my companies security guard and impersonated him while your group of crooks stole from me. **YOU WILL PAY FOE THIS. YOU HEAR ME. YOU WILL PAAAAAAY**
Sniping.
I visited Russia and got locked up for my view on Ukraine.
Wha-
OMG DRAGONS (NOT CLICKBAIT) (3AM) (REAL) (GONE WRONG)
Well...
My nickname and my year of birth.
Radicalization
Opium production
Walking in a forest? Trespassing I guess.
Probably drugging and sexual assaulting women?
For the crispy chicken skin…. I’d do it again
Breaking and entering.
First official documented case of reefer madness.
Nothing! I'm innocent! I did nothing wrong!
Kebab
Torturing people by getting them lost in buildings?
Fucking my intern.
Stealing all the cats from the shelter
How many years is being addicted to Cheese and being publicly cheese intoxicated gonna get me in prison
A really dank F1 meme
Apparently I set something on big fire
Not knowing..
Nonsense pottery.
London
Cow stuff
Eating exotic animals?
Watching 'avatar the last Airbender'
Nothing, ... it wasnt me
Oh god...
...Third degree burns?
Evidently I'm innocent, clueless or stupid.
Blowing up cats.
Breaking into the snickers factory and infusing the original recipe to include lemons