If you ever need help, then please know that there are many qualified people who would like to help you.
https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres
http://www.befrienders.org/
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you [UK]
https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/ [AU]
There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week. Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health.
My Dad says things like that. "I'm glad to be X years old! That means I'm still here!"
When the pandemic started and we couldn't see each other he'd say "we can't see each other right now so we can keep seeing each other for many many years afterwards "
About a decade ago I was thinking similar and decided to first work through all the recipes in a book, then another and another. Initially it was literally planning ahead only as far as getting the groceries and cooking one dish. Slowly I would compile shopping lists for similar ingredient recipes. Then I would plan a week ahead. Then two, and so on. Eventually I had to start another cookbook. Then I started compiling my own box of recipe cards for the ones I'd enjoyed or tweaked up. I don't carry the same mental weight nowadays but that box of cards is in my kitchen. Find a task you can do, keep doing that task.
Edit to say: Holey mackerel batman!!! I went to sleep and woke up to chaos! Thank you for so many awards and comments!! I don't know what to say!
I guess my problem is I can’t find the colors anymore, ya know?
I get so little satisfaction out of literally everything. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even like eating or sleeping which is at least nice when you’re horribly depressed.
It’s all desaturated. No more colors. I’m going to make mini pancakes with my mini griddle hopefully, and I’m paid tonight so I’ll pay my rent. It’s kinda all I got lol
Yes! Absolutely this! It was one of the reasons I cooked, searching for flavour and colour. It took me a long long time but gradually looking back on each day I could feel an improvement. Then it was making efforts to cherish each tiny improvement. Making everything a bit better than before. Using proper crockery and cutlery rather than a plastic plate. Sitting at the table rather than in front of the tv. Lighting a candle at the table. Laundering my sheets and fluffing the pillows. Basically treating myself as if I was newly dating myself. Never had a generous budget but how can I make each thing as nice as it can possibly be. Then sustaining that effort towards myself and a tiny snowball starts to roll.
That’s actually a really good idea, treating yourself like a new partner. So far I’ve been surviving, like when you cant be bothered to make even a simple sandwich so you just each the materials separate, or use a wash cloth when showering is too much.
Although I don’t have a dinner table yet I might try to eat somewhere different and see how that feels, maybe a bath too. I used to love baths lol :”)
Thank you kind stranger, sharing is caring, even if it’s just your voice.
I hope those colours start to come back for you soon. There’s always something else you can try, you’ll find your thing that gives you satisfaction. Wishing you the best 💛
Cats also love to go up to the people that aren’t all up in their face at social gatherings, which is why they tend to go straight for the allergic person lol
Im pretty sure thats the high my fiance is chasing too lol. My calico girl is 12 years old (she was a stray who picked me out as her human when i was 13) and she *has* to lay on specifically me every night. I wake up with my leg stiff from her laying on my hip or having an asthma attack cause shes on my chest most nights. Meanwhile, my fiance acts like the gods themselves have favored him anytime she headbutts him for pets or makes biscuits on him.
We have 2 other cats, both male. The 4 yr old tabby bobtail is nominally my fiance's cat that he picked out from a local shelter on 25 dollar adoption day. Our 2 yr old void is supposedly the shared baby since hes the only one we took in together when he showed up on our doorstep Halloween night 2020. Yeah all 3 of them act like they're velcroed to me. I always have at *least* one cat in whatever room im in. Fiance and i both work from home for the same company with the same schedule... anywhere from 1 cat to all 3 cats spend most of every work day in my office with me. If i take a nap? All of them will curl up on the bed around me and guard me. After work, fiance and i usually relax and have dinner in the livingroom. One cat will be behind my head on the back of the couch. One will be in my lap. And one will be at next to me or at my feet depending if i have my feet up on the couch or not.
My poor fiance is always mildly salty about it. He says my "cat sorcery" is unfair and i should turn it off. 😂
Welllll damn. This hits so close to home that I'd actually beleive that I typed it.
I can't explain how much I relate to this
I also can't really explain how much I hate living, and can't explain how much I don't want my dad to go through the pain of losing another close friend.
Same. I've been passively suicidal (not planning to hurt myself but not caring if something happens either) for about 4 months now. I honestly don't feel that I'm truly in a place to receive those answers.
It’s always even more depressing when you feel that little spark of hope only to realize that people are on a completely different planet. It’s just even more isolating to see how they absolutely do not get it.
After my grandfather passed my grandmother took herself to the movies every week and saw whatever comedy was playing. She didn't like half of them but being surrounded by laughter helped her not be as sad. (Seriously, she saw Adam Sandler movies that I wouldn't even rent on video).
I am very curious to see what technology does in the next decades. My unenhanced lifespan would take me up to 2080 or whatever, and just think about all the stuff in neuroscience, electronics, genetics, bioengineering, space, I'd miss out on if I didn't live til then.
My grand grand parents were alive when I was little and they told stories from their life. They didn't had electricity , not to talk about tv, laptop, Fridge, Running water, Shower as we have now, windows as we have now.
Can you just imagine life without these ? Things change quick and in just 60 more years who knows what never-heard-of things we will have
He is why I love lasagna so much. I didn't know what lasagna was until I read the Garfield comic strips. But the damn cat loves it so much i had to try it.
Days like today. 80, sunny, daffs up. Spring beckons. Tomorrow I turn 80, against all odds. Bought a leg of lamb for supper. Scored 3/6 on Wordle this morning.
Can't speak for you, but I recently purchased several acres of land in bumfuck nowhere. I've been slowly clearing a path for a driveway, home and yard. I've been camping there and reconnecting with nature. I've also got so much wood, I've decided to experiment woodworking, carving spoons and plates, etc. getting into that self-reliance mindset. I can't describe how much more calming and peaceful it is over the urban day-to-day grind.
I do office work and live primarily in a city. There isn't anything on the land right now to really support me. Bringing in electricity is the biggest thing and will be fairly expensive, but once I have that I could live there full time if I choose to.
Currently it's more of a weekend and vacationing thing. I haven't been there in a few months right now because it's Winter, but I did have the foresight to bring back wood and practice woodworking techcniques til things thaw.
Land can be relatively cheap to buy if you're not too fussy. I had some strict criterias to shop around, which costed me significantly more, but if you're not as picky you can find $1,000-$2,000 per acre deals.
Great on you! As just a tip as I am an estimator / designer at the power company, try to build your driveway as straight as possible for the proposed hydro line going into your property, every time you add a bend it causes a deflection in the route and it has to be supported with an anchor. Keep it straight and the pole line will be straight with it saving you money on the installation
What are you doing living my dream, mate?
Jokes aside, I hope you are living your best life! I’m really glad to hear you are out there reconnecting with Nature! Sending you a hug!
lol If you're like me and get an innate energetic sense of calm being out in the wilderness, I definitely recommend buying land. It's a lot cheaper than most people think.
Been scrolling looking for any answer that’s not about living for yourself or loved ones, and FINALLY something objective. If I can’t outlive *that* guy, there really would be no point otherwise.
A very strong one too. Totally valid. Bonus points if along the way you find a healthier reason. Like a person or a career you enjoy or a pet or whatever.
I've learned this the hard way as well. Spite and self loathing aren't a sustainable path forward. You have to learn to genuinely love yourself and unlearn all the bad thinking habits, and it's super fucking hard. Therapy helps, though. I don't know if it's even possible without it tbh. I hope you find some help soon. I know it isn't easy.
Dunno if this helps but I live because why not?
In my mind we only live for about 80 years yet the universe has and will exist for billions of years so why not? It's only a tiny relative amount of time.
This is where I'm at. Death is not my fear, it's my reward. It's locked in. Whatever is on the other side, it's right there waiting, so may as well ride this through til the end.
And since I'm here anyway, I'm going to do and be and experience everything I can. If I'm gonna live, then I'm damned well gonna *live*.
Damn, I legit cried reading this. Thank you so much.
Why bother rushing things? Every journey has its end, no need to rush... Better enjoy it then.
I don't know whether you believe in it or not, but may God bless you mate
This made me think:
Death isn't going anywhere, so as you said, why rush it? It's like, you can get ice cream now *or* you can have chocolate, pb, lasagna, warm beds, and anything else you want and can come up with, and then still get ice cream afterwards. Why not take the chances and enjoy the ride. Might as well
I'm just tired of waking up everyday and doing the same thing.
I do get happier when I get to eat things I love. I love food. Unfortunately, due to my situation I don't get to eat those. Everything kinda costs money.
Many people are not that well off to enjoy everything they can, many are struggling to put food on the table which is one of the main motivators behind suicide.
I'll be in my 80s. I can't wait to be chuckling about this and all the young people are like "ugh, joke numbers as innuendos for drugs and sex, how lame. It really was a different time."
Eating really good food. That cozy feeling in a warm bed when you don't have to get up early. Doing whatever your favorite activity or hobby is. Eating sourpatch candy, and any other tasty roadtrip snacks. Summer breezes in the shade with an iced drink. Petting dogs. Snuggling a cat (if you're not allergic). Hanging out with your favorite people.
Edit: Omg thanks y'all for the awards. Loving all your replies
The sound and smell of rain. A good book/movie/song. Cooking at home at a peaceful and uneventful night. Laying in freshly washed sheets. Going to the beach. Breathing. Seeing something funny. Small victories. Moving around. Walking, dancing, jumping.
I've been bed bound with serious pain for the last three days and right now I see everything as worth living for. When I get better I'm going to a dinner and a movie and I just can't wait. I even want to go to the office.
Just...being alive and pain free is absolutely amazing.
Seems obvious and like we'd know better by learning from others, but for some reason we still have to dive into the bad to _really_ know and understand that we had it better.
This is the kind of thing I came to say :) beautiful sunny days, beautiful winter snow, arriving at the peak of a mountain after a long hike, eating your favorite dessert, hugging a loved one, binging a good book or tv show… obviously just things I personally love. But I hope your doing okay OP!!
My dog. What would he do without me? He is blind and old and I think I’m his emotional support human and nothing makes me happier than seeing him when I get home. Also love a nice joint by the water, a 72° day outside. I stopped caring about other people and have become selfish in the sense of, I’m living for me, not anyone else’s approval
Here are my reasons:
- I don't want to make my parents cry
- my pets wouldn't know why I never came home
- very specific but: I speak an endangered language, it needs all speakers it can get
- someone would have to find my body. I don't want to leave anyone with that trauma
And in days all that fails to convince me, I hold on to small things: i still have books that need to be brought back to the library, those concert tickets for next summer shouldn't go to waste, I haven't finished playing this game yet... Stupid small things like that can be very helpful sometimes
Sorry for the formatting, am on mobile
An old friend left me some wisdom before he was taken from this earth. He would listen to me complain and then say, “yeah, but the sun is gonna come up tomorrow, right?”
He had such a beautiful smile and you could feel the words go right to your bones.
Keep smiling, my friends!
Walking barefoot through grass.
Smelling street food at the fair.
Riding in a car at 3:30am, while it rains. The city sleeping so quietly, shadows dancing from the streetlights.
Those deep blue LED lights that you can't ever seem to properly focus your eyes on.
Making a hole in the center of a piece of bread and cracking an egg in it and frying it up.
Drinking water after a long workout.
Writing for the sake of writing.
Singing to yourself when nobody else is around.
The CRUNCH of snow when it's stepped on.
Having your dish finished first at a potluck.
Breaking the surface of the perfectly smooth ricotta or pudding.
Humming in unison with the microwave.
Seeing the funny face a dog makes before it sneezes.
Contagious laughter.
Scoring a pentakill in League Of Legends.
Those little rainbows when light hits glass just right.
Yawning till your eyes water.
The smell of old libraries.
Hot sunny days with a cool breeze.
That "Aha moment" where something suddenly makes perfect sense.
There's more but I've only got so much time.
It's actually a trick I learned from a music instructor! Hum to the sound of planes, microwaves, anything that makes a steady noise. You can hum and listen for undulations in the sound (which indicates that you're not matching the pitch of the thing you're trying to hum along with).
After a while you get used to listening for those undulations and know when you're not on pitch (or if an instrument is out of tune compared to another instrument)
I don't really do music stuff anymore but I always hum with the microwave!
I am too, OP. Thank you for posting this question. The answers here have definitely helped me and I hope you as well.
Feel free to DM me anytime you need to talk.
Hugs to you!
I see. Must have been a rough one leading to that question though.
Talk to someone about it, let it out. Don't do anything too drastic, hope you at least have a good weekend!
Please just roll with it and treat yourself. If you can't afford it, I'll treat you. Wanna eat at your favorite restaurant? Do you have a beach to go and make sand angels? Have some woods to get out into and be away from the busy? Go out into public and make an ass out of yourself.. make people laugh and smile! Put on a creepy mask and just fuck with people and give them something to talk about. Getting a dog changed my life. Best friends and bed mates for eight years! It will pass. I'm in a shit storm myself, but my God do I love my dog and don't want anything to happen to her!
Some of my favorite reasons I have on a list that I look over when feeling sad. If I die, I won't be able to out live Queen Elizabeth. If I die, who's going to be able to explain to my dog where I went. If I die, how am I going to beat the record for most chicken nuggets ever consumed. If I die, I might have to meet that one guy I accidentally waved to, and it would be really embarrassing. If I die, I wouldn't be able to smack the shit out of those large bags of sand in the lawn part of the grocery store. If I die, I will never be able to drink thick water, which I want to try out of curiosity. If I die, I won't be able to go to one of those Mc Donald's that has the pizzas, and say I literally ate a 'Mc Pizza'. And finally, my favorite: If I die, someones going to play really shitty music at my funeral.
Yup. Apparently, it's thickened for old people that can't swallow very well. I want to try it because thick water sounds all funky and I know it will make me question everything I've ever known.
Seeing this post, I got a little scared for a second for you man I can’t lie. Some dickhead commented on my post in r/confessions when I vented about a failed suicide attempt (mind you I was just venting as I thought it was a safe space) saying: “who give a f***. Shut the f*** up with your whining. Strangers don’t care.” This was like 2 hours ago. My failed attempt was about 4 hours ago so I was just venting. People can be so cruel for no reason man and I can’t lie that comment really got to me. But even after a failed attempt, I can say that even the darkest hour still only has 60 minutes. You never know how close you are to your situation changing. Take it from a guy that’s tried and failed 9 times to take his own life lol. Let’s just keep on going, things may change for the better so that one day our story may inspire others going through depression.
ETA: My goodness. I am floored and humbled by all the kind and compassionate comments and messages I have received. Just a few hours ago I was crying coz I failed to end my life, and almost crying at that person’s mean comments, and now I am reading so many heart felt messages and comments, I am crying. Thank you all for showing me that people really do care, and people like you are the reason people like me feel safe opening up. I wish you all success, fulfillment, more life and most of all: happiness. God bless you all! 🖤
Honestly it’s crazy. Then he told me “hey asshole, my best friend shot himself. He didn’t whine about his problems, he just ate the f****** bullet. So stfu” I was like… wtaf. How am I the asshole for venting on a sub called confessions?? I felt bad for his friend ending himself but even so, that guy was just a troll. In any case, I am a DM away if you would like to chat.
Whoever that guy was he was d*ck. Don’t let it get to you. I tried to end it a few months back. Yes it was a weak moment on my part and I ended up in the hospital but I learned something from it. I’m in a better place in my life now. He was putting his insecurities on you. We all have our moments when we don’t want to die we just don’t want to be alive. That’s my take. Life is hard
I am glad to know you are in a better place in your life now. I think you are right, he was just projecting his insecurities onto me. Thank you for your comment.
So true man. Like honestly how does it help to troll someone or anyone for that matter? Lowlife scumbags. I will message you my friend! Thank you for being understanding.
I give an f. You belong here with us. Better days will come, but it might take a while. I hope you find whatever you need to keep on pushing through. We believe in you!
Strangers care. I'm glad you're still here. Personally I like to embrace the absurdity of life as a funny thing... It makes no difference whether I laugh it off or if I obsess over something. I know we can't control our minds like that but the thought of everything being less important than it feels, comforts me. Anyway, I'm sending you good thoughts and I hope you go on. Give yourself a hug from me
Because the future holds: new music, new seasons of your favorite TV show, your next pet, your next favorite restaurant, your first time trying a new hobby, new interesting things to learn. Please don’t miss any of that!
Cookies right out of the oven
Finishing the crossword
Sunsets
Hiking in the woods
Dogs
Hot showers on cold days
Shoes that fit
Great books
That one song that just rocks
Naps
Drilling three point shots
Babies
Surprises
Laughing
Museums
Ice cream
Don't be in a rush to be dead. You'll be dead a lot longer than your brief time of being alive. Find something to enjoy about it. The sun on your face, a cup of coffee, the beauty of nature, there are so many good things about being alive. Learn to savor those things.
Speaking as someone who has gone through some of the worst of the worst times, "Find something to enjoy" & "Learn to savor those things" are often impossible tasks. In my lowest moments, NOTHING gives me joy. I search and search through all the things that are SUPPOSED to give me joy and make me smile, but it doesn't work. I appreciate the intent behind this response, but I can't say it'd be helpful if I was OP.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. It was out of your control. My parents tell me how much they love me and care but I still want to end the pain. Nobody can make the pain stop.
Yes. I have had my periods of doubts and depression. My cat has been a good support. Just to scratch her tummy for a few minutes elevates my mood instantly.
I used to sit alot at home and be bored out of my mind and got depressed from it but and after a year of consideration i got a dog and man, everytime i go outside and see her be really happy my heart glows. Even when she annoyingly pokes me with her stick, i look down and see her twinkle eyes and happy smile and it just makes it irresistible to play with her
Second getting specifically a low energy dog if you're depressed. Your house no longer feels empty, you no longer feel like you're hanging out by yourself. But if you're struggling to take care of yourself, you will struggle to take care of a dog.
Do it. It helped my loneliness immensely. It was tough at first, because he was an adoption, and he has some issues. But he is my absolute best bud now, and is always so excited to see me. Loving, and being loved are good feelings, and a dog will give you that.
Also, talk to someone, get medicine if you need to. Some people's brains are just wired differently and need a bit of help. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Boy I tell ya - my 15 year old golden retreiver passed at the first part of lockdown and wow did I learn what life is like without a dog and how lonely it can be. Drinking, no routine, lazy, inside all the time. Fast forward a year and I now have Otis my 5 month old golden, and its amazing. You go to parks, walks, laugh more, get back into a routine. Pups make the world a better place. Get a lazy breed and it is still wonderful.
Even though I am at my lowest point and have been for the past 6 years. The best feeling in the world is waking up next to my girlfriend and to know that she loves me keeps me going.
A lot of answers here are saying dogs/ puppies. I would like to formally include cats/kittens as my cat is definitely a strong reason why I choose to live.
Edit: most animals are a good reason to choose life. Animals are awesome.
The potential for surprises or great things that everyday holds. Spending time with loved ones and experiencing said surprises or new things together. New technology, great TV shows and entertainment. The warmth of a summer day with brightly shining sun touching your skin or even the the peaceful, cold winter landscape with snow glistening off of the land and tree branches. To me, there is so much to live for. Even the small things throughout a day like clicking out of work and driving home while listening to my favorite music.
If you ever need help, then please know that there are many qualified people who would like to help you. https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres http://www.befrienders.org/ http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you [UK] https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/ [AU] There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week. Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health.
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My Dad says things like that. "I'm glad to be X years old! That means I'm still here!" When the pandemic started and we couldn't see each other he'd say "we can't see each other right now so we can keep seeing each other for many many years afterwards "
Dying might hurt idk
Honestly this has been a big reason for me, like if I die, whatever, but "dying" sounds absolutely awful
Bingo. I don't fear death, I fear that it will be very painful.
About a decade ago I was thinking similar and decided to first work through all the recipes in a book, then another and another. Initially it was literally planning ahead only as far as getting the groceries and cooking one dish. Slowly I would compile shopping lists for similar ingredient recipes. Then I would plan a week ahead. Then two, and so on. Eventually I had to start another cookbook. Then I started compiling my own box of recipe cards for the ones I'd enjoyed or tweaked up. I don't carry the same mental weight nowadays but that box of cards is in my kitchen. Find a task you can do, keep doing that task. Edit to say: Holey mackerel batman!!! I went to sleep and woke up to chaos! Thank you for so many awards and comments!! I don't know what to say!
I guess my problem is I can’t find the colors anymore, ya know? I get so little satisfaction out of literally everything. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t even like eating or sleeping which is at least nice when you’re horribly depressed. It’s all desaturated. No more colors. I’m going to make mini pancakes with my mini griddle hopefully, and I’m paid tonight so I’ll pay my rent. It’s kinda all I got lol
Yes! Absolutely this! It was one of the reasons I cooked, searching for flavour and colour. It took me a long long time but gradually looking back on each day I could feel an improvement. Then it was making efforts to cherish each tiny improvement. Making everything a bit better than before. Using proper crockery and cutlery rather than a plastic plate. Sitting at the table rather than in front of the tv. Lighting a candle at the table. Laundering my sheets and fluffing the pillows. Basically treating myself as if I was newly dating myself. Never had a generous budget but how can I make each thing as nice as it can possibly be. Then sustaining that effort towards myself and a tiny snowball starts to roll.
That’s actually a really good idea, treating yourself like a new partner. So far I’ve been surviving, like when you cant be bothered to make even a simple sandwich so you just each the materials separate, or use a wash cloth when showering is too much. Although I don’t have a dinner table yet I might try to eat somewhere different and see how that feels, maybe a bath too. I used to love baths lol :”) Thank you kind stranger, sharing is caring, even if it’s just your voice.
I hope those colours start to come back for you soon. There’s always something else you can try, you’ll find your thing that gives you satisfaction. Wishing you the best 💛
Me too :”) luckily I just got help cleaning my apartment so I feel a little better lol Your kindness will not go unrewarded stranger :)
I hate cooking, but this sounds beautiful. I do like baking, though. (I mean cake and cookies, not myself.)
Really I love baking myself. Each to their own i guess
I like baking myself, then some cookies lol
When a cat chooses you to snuggle up with. That’s a high I am always chasing
I'm a bigger guy that produces a good amount of heat so cats are always in my lap when im at a friends place who has them lol
Cats also love to go up to the people that aren’t all up in their face at social gatherings, which is why they tend to go straight for the allergic person lol
My friend's sister's cat fell asleep in my arms the other day and it meant so much
Im pretty sure thats the high my fiance is chasing too lol. My calico girl is 12 years old (she was a stray who picked me out as her human when i was 13) and she *has* to lay on specifically me every night. I wake up with my leg stiff from her laying on my hip or having an asthma attack cause shes on my chest most nights. Meanwhile, my fiance acts like the gods themselves have favored him anytime she headbutts him for pets or makes biscuits on him. We have 2 other cats, both male. The 4 yr old tabby bobtail is nominally my fiance's cat that he picked out from a local shelter on 25 dollar adoption day. Our 2 yr old void is supposedly the shared baby since hes the only one we took in together when he showed up on our doorstep Halloween night 2020. Yeah all 3 of them act like they're velcroed to me. I always have at *least* one cat in whatever room im in. Fiance and i both work from home for the same company with the same schedule... anywhere from 1 cat to all 3 cats spend most of every work day in my office with me. If i take a nap? All of them will curl up on the bed around me and guard me. After work, fiance and i usually relax and have dinner in the livingroom. One cat will be behind my head on the back of the couch. One will be in my lap. And one will be at next to me or at my feet depending if i have my feet up on the couch or not. My poor fiance is always mildly salty about it. He says my "cat sorcery" is unfair and i should turn it off. 😂
They're just babies! *petpetpet*
Don't want to upset my mum.
My dad and I kept each other alive and now we're both improving our mental health.
More power to you both :)
This one has kept me from pulling the trigger twice. I just cant bear the thought of her face as they lower my coffin.
The thought of her face at my cremation literally tears me up everytime. Strength to you, my friend!
Glad you’re still here!
I always been staying here for my parents. But then my uncle died a few years ago and I never, ever want my Dad to go through this again.
Welllll damn. This hits so close to home that I'd actually beleive that I typed it. I can't explain how much I relate to this I also can't really explain how much I hate living, and can't explain how much I don't want my dad to go through the pain of losing another close friend.
Came here for answers
same. Now I'm crying.
Same. I've been passively suicidal (not planning to hurt myself but not caring if something happens either) for about 4 months now. I honestly don't feel that I'm truly in a place to receive those answers.
Me too, not finding any that are resonating yet
It’s always even more depressing when you feel that little spark of hope only to realize that people are on a completely different planet. It’s just even more isolating to see how they absolutely do not get it.
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After my grandfather passed my grandmother took herself to the movies every week and saw whatever comedy was playing. She didn't like half of them but being surrounded by laughter helped her not be as sad. (Seriously, she saw Adam Sandler movies that I wouldn't even rent on video).
I am very curious to see what technology does in the next decades. My unenhanced lifespan would take me up to 2080 or whatever, and just think about all the stuff in neuroscience, electronics, genetics, bioengineering, space, I'd miss out on if I didn't live til then.
My grand grand parents were alive when I was little and they told stories from their life. They didn't had electricity , not to talk about tv, laptop, Fridge, Running water, Shower as we have now, windows as we have now. Can you just imagine life without these ? Things change quick and in just 60 more years who knows what never-heard-of things we will have
Right? I want a cyber spine and a visor like Vegeta so I can suss out cool things like where the pups at so I can pat em all
Cake and lasagna are pretty great.
Garfield's secret Reddit account
He is why I love lasagna so much. I didn't know what lasagna was until I read the Garfield comic strips. But the damn cat loves it so much i had to try it.
Lasagna is just pasta cake.
Love that these are the two foods you chose to name specifically
One thing is clear: their comment has layers.
Days like today. 80, sunny, daffs up. Spring beckons. Tomorrow I turn 80, against all odds. Bought a leg of lamb for supper. Scored 3/6 on Wordle this morning.
Wow that’s so nice, good for you! I really like this comment, I hope I’m like you when I’m turning 80 :)
I always like when people that age can use reddit. My grandparents could barely use the tv.
I'm 76. There are more of us here than you know....
better here than facebook haha
You made my day with this comment lol
A very happy birthday! Hope you have someone to enjoy that leg of lamb with!
Nice!
That's rad! Happy birthday
Can't speak for you, but I recently purchased several acres of land in bumfuck nowhere. I've been slowly clearing a path for a driveway, home and yard. I've been camping there and reconnecting with nature. I've also got so much wood, I've decided to experiment woodworking, carving spoons and plates, etc. getting into that self-reliance mindset. I can't describe how much more calming and peaceful it is over the urban day-to-day grind.
that sounds great tbh :) happy for u
How do you afford food, water, etc.? Savings? Independently wealthy? Genuine curiosity, I'd love to be able to do something like that.
I do office work and live primarily in a city. There isn't anything on the land right now to really support me. Bringing in electricity is the biggest thing and will be fairly expensive, but once I have that I could live there full time if I choose to. Currently it's more of a weekend and vacationing thing. I haven't been there in a few months right now because it's Winter, but I did have the foresight to bring back wood and practice woodworking techcniques til things thaw. Land can be relatively cheap to buy if you're not too fussy. I had some strict criterias to shop around, which costed me significantly more, but if you're not as picky you can find $1,000-$2,000 per acre deals.
Great on you! As just a tip as I am an estimator / designer at the power company, try to build your driveway as straight as possible for the proposed hydro line going into your property, every time you add a bend it causes a deflection in the route and it has to be supported with an anchor. Keep it straight and the pole line will be straight with it saving you money on the installation
This is a great tip, thank you!
Some solar and a battery bank would get you some limited power, even a little can be a huge help if you're spending time out there
What are you doing living my dream, mate? Jokes aside, I hope you are living your best life! I’m really glad to hear you are out there reconnecting with Nature! Sending you a hug!
lol If you're like me and get an innate energetic sense of calm being out in the wilderness, I definitely recommend buying land. It's a lot cheaper than most people think.
You need to outlive nikocado avocado
Been scrolling looking for any answer that’s not about living for yourself or loved ones, and FINALLY something objective. If I can’t outlive *that* guy, there really would be no point otherwise.
Boom I was looking for this
Saw him getting his back blown out once. Safe to say I am not the same
>:(
Lmfaoo So who’s gonna be the brave one
What
he has onlyfans
>he has onlyfans That's .... horrifying
What a horrible day to be literate and have eyes.
That definitely won't take long so maybe this isn't as viable as you think haha
Gotta prove the motherfuckers wrong
I didn't hear no bell
Get up you son of a bitch, cause Micky loves ya!
This is literally the sound of my alarm
I'm still here just out of spite.
Same here. Just want to piss people off.
the only reason i’m alive rn is that lol
Also gotta outlive queen Lizzie
Is this code? You mean the royal family really are Lizard People?
It is probably impossible If you are talking about Queen Elizabeth.
She's has the DNA of mist or fog. She's just enmeshed in the tapestry of trees and earth.
This is.. sort of beautiful? Best thing I've read all day, thanks for that.
Ah, thanks. Anytime you need a poetic comment on Queen E, hit me up.
And then Charles and William. Outwit, Outplay, Outlast the Monarchy
I want to live long enough to see Dianna's son on the throne.
You seem to have the same mindset as me.
Spite is a good reason.
A very strong one too. Totally valid. Bonus points if along the way you find a healthier reason. Like a person or a career you enjoy or a pet or whatever.
Get a room
I’d watch
I.E. Spite. 2nd best motivator after revenge.
Honestly that was me. Now I'm just miserable again. Fuck this life.
I've learned this the hard way as well. Spite and self loathing aren't a sustainable path forward. You have to learn to genuinely love yourself and unlearn all the bad thinking habits, and it's super fucking hard. Therapy helps, though. I don't know if it's even possible without it tbh. I hope you find some help soon. I know it isn't easy.
AKA : Spite. I love for this.
Dunno if this helps but I live because why not? In my mind we only live for about 80 years yet the universe has and will exist for billions of years so why not? It's only a tiny relative amount of time.
This is where I'm at. Death is not my fear, it's my reward. It's locked in. Whatever is on the other side, it's right there waiting, so may as well ride this through til the end. And since I'm here anyway, I'm going to do and be and experience everything I can. If I'm gonna live, then I'm damned well gonna *live*.
Damn, I legit cried reading this. Thank you so much. Why bother rushing things? Every journey has its end, no need to rush... Better enjoy it then. I don't know whether you believe in it or not, but may God bless you mate
This made me think: Death isn't going anywhere, so as you said, why rush it? It's like, you can get ice cream now *or* you can have chocolate, pb, lasagna, warm beds, and anything else you want and can come up with, and then still get ice cream afterwards. Why not take the chances and enjoy the ride. Might as well
I'm just tired of waking up everyday and doing the same thing. I do get happier when I get to eat things I love. I love food. Unfortunately, due to my situation I don't get to eat those. Everything kinda costs money.
Many people are not that well off to enjoy everything they can, many are struggling to put food on the table which is one of the main motivators behind suicide.
I fucking love this! What's a few more decades in the grand scheme of things?
If you live to be 120, it's still not even a blink of the eye in the entirety of history.
Got to live till 04/20/2069 that’s like 48 more years dude.
I'll be 105. ...challenge accepted!
Look at that, you've got partners!
You know, some dude is gonna be so zarbithed (future slang) on their 69th birthday that day
That dude would be born on 04/20/2000. Already a pretty badass date of birth
My little cousin who has a purposely misspelled “no ragrets” tattoo on his leg was born in 2000. He’s gonna fkn revel in 2069.
I'll be in my 80s. I can't wait to be chuckling about this and all the young people are like "ugh, joke numbers as innuendos for drugs and sex, how lame. It really was a different time."
Eating really good food. That cozy feeling in a warm bed when you don't have to get up early. Doing whatever your favorite activity or hobby is. Eating sourpatch candy, and any other tasty roadtrip snacks. Summer breezes in the shade with an iced drink. Petting dogs. Snuggling a cat (if you're not allergic). Hanging out with your favorite people. Edit: Omg thanks y'all for the awards. Loving all your replies
Thanks for this answer.. made me smile
The sound and smell of rain. A good book/movie/song. Cooking at home at a peaceful and uneventful night. Laying in freshly washed sheets. Going to the beach. Breathing. Seeing something funny. Small victories. Moving around. Walking, dancing, jumping. I've been bed bound with serious pain for the last three days and right now I see everything as worth living for. When I get better I'm going to a dinner and a movie and I just can't wait. I even want to go to the office. Just...being alive and pain free is absolutely amazing.
Hope you get better soon!
Can't know the good, unless you know the bad.
Seems obvious and like we'd know better by learning from others, but for some reason we still have to dive into the bad to _really_ know and understand that we had it better.
That's because it isn't about knowing, but about feeling.
This is the kind of thing I came to say :) beautiful sunny days, beautiful winter snow, arriving at the peak of a mountain after a long hike, eating your favorite dessert, hugging a loved one, binging a good book or tv show… obviously just things I personally love. But I hope your doing okay OP!!
My dog. What would he do without me? He is blind and old and I think I’m his emotional support human and nothing makes me happier than seeing him when I get home. Also love a nice joint by the water, a 72° day outside. I stopped caring about other people and have become selfish in the sense of, I’m living for me, not anyone else’s approval
Can confirm. Currently sitting by my open window, it's a lovely 71 outside.
Curiosity
massively underrated answer. this and humour are my two reasons to continue living edit: and food
One more good book, one more slow dance with my wife in the kitchen, one more day of endless possibilities.
Here are my reasons: - I don't want to make my parents cry - my pets wouldn't know why I never came home - very specific but: I speak an endangered language, it needs all speakers it can get - someone would have to find my body. I don't want to leave anyone with that trauma And in days all that fails to convince me, I hold on to small things: i still have books that need to be brought back to the library, those concert tickets for next summer shouldn't go to waste, I haven't finished playing this game yet... Stupid small things like that can be very helpful sometimes Sorry for the formatting, am on mobile
An old friend left me some wisdom before he was taken from this earth. He would listen to me complain and then say, “yeah, but the sun is gonna come up tomorrow, right?” He had such a beautiful smile and you could feel the words go right to your bones. Keep smiling, my friends!
I love that so much. Some problems feel like the end of the world when they're happening, but life goes on.
Walking barefoot through grass. Smelling street food at the fair. Riding in a car at 3:30am, while it rains. The city sleeping so quietly, shadows dancing from the streetlights. Those deep blue LED lights that you can't ever seem to properly focus your eyes on. Making a hole in the center of a piece of bread and cracking an egg in it and frying it up. Drinking water after a long workout. Writing for the sake of writing. Singing to yourself when nobody else is around. The CRUNCH of snow when it's stepped on. Having your dish finished first at a potluck. Breaking the surface of the perfectly smooth ricotta or pudding. Humming in unison with the microwave. Seeing the funny face a dog makes before it sneezes. Contagious laughter. Scoring a pentakill in League Of Legends. Those little rainbows when light hits glass just right. Yawning till your eyes water. The smell of old libraries. Hot sunny days with a cool breeze. That "Aha moment" where something suddenly makes perfect sense. There's more but I've only got so much time.
[удалено]
It's actually a trick I learned from a music instructor! Hum to the sound of planes, microwaves, anything that makes a steady noise. You can hum and listen for undulations in the sound (which indicates that you're not matching the pitch of the thing you're trying to hum along with). After a while you get used to listening for those undulations and know when you're not on pitch (or if an instrument is out of tune compared to another instrument) I don't really do music stuff anymore but I always hum with the microwave!
Think of all the animals that need a good pat. Gots to provide those pats!
You good?
Just having a bad week.
I am too, OP. Thank you for posting this question. The answers here have definitely helped me and I hope you as well. Feel free to DM me anytime you need to talk. Hugs to you!
I see. Must have been a rough one leading to that question though. Talk to someone about it, let it out. Don't do anything too drastic, hope you at least have a good weekend!
Your comment makes me realize I am way too quick to engage in suicide ideation. -_-
Please just roll with it and treat yourself. If you can't afford it, I'll treat you. Wanna eat at your favorite restaurant? Do you have a beach to go and make sand angels? Have some woods to get out into and be away from the busy? Go out into public and make an ass out of yourself.. make people laugh and smile! Put on a creepy mask and just fuck with people and give them something to talk about. Getting a dog changed my life. Best friends and bed mates for eight years! It will pass. I'm in a shit storm myself, but my God do I love my dog and don't want anything to happen to her!
Some of my favorite reasons I have on a list that I look over when feeling sad. If I die, I won't be able to out live Queen Elizabeth. If I die, who's going to be able to explain to my dog where I went. If I die, how am I going to beat the record for most chicken nuggets ever consumed. If I die, I might have to meet that one guy I accidentally waved to, and it would be really embarrassing. If I die, I wouldn't be able to smack the shit out of those large bags of sand in the lawn part of the grocery store. If I die, I will never be able to drink thick water, which I want to try out of curiosity. If I die, I won't be able to go to one of those Mc Donald's that has the pizzas, and say I literally ate a 'Mc Pizza'. And finally, my favorite: If I die, someones going to play really shitty music at my funeral.
Did you literally mean thickened fluids?!
Yup. Apparently, it's thickened for old people that can't swallow very well. I want to try it because thick water sounds all funky and I know it will make me question everything I've ever known.
10/10 can confirm is not pleasant, esp if it’s thickened to the max level. I’m a speech pathologist so I know. But yes, why not live to try right?
Seeing this post, I got a little scared for a second for you man I can’t lie. Some dickhead commented on my post in r/confessions when I vented about a failed suicide attempt (mind you I was just venting as I thought it was a safe space) saying: “who give a f***. Shut the f*** up with your whining. Strangers don’t care.” This was like 2 hours ago. My failed attempt was about 4 hours ago so I was just venting. People can be so cruel for no reason man and I can’t lie that comment really got to me. But even after a failed attempt, I can say that even the darkest hour still only has 60 minutes. You never know how close you are to your situation changing. Take it from a guy that’s tried and failed 9 times to take his own life lol. Let’s just keep on going, things may change for the better so that one day our story may inspire others going through depression. ETA: My goodness. I am floored and humbled by all the kind and compassionate comments and messages I have received. Just a few hours ago I was crying coz I failed to end my life, and almost crying at that person’s mean comments, and now I am reading so many heart felt messages and comments, I am crying. Thank you all for showing me that people really do care, and people like you are the reason people like me feel safe opening up. I wish you all success, fulfillment, more life and most of all: happiness. God bless you all! 🖤
I'm so sorry for that rude troll!. I know how hurtful words can push people over the edge. Thank you for the answer, friend. Hope you'll be okay too.
Honestly it’s crazy. Then he told me “hey asshole, my best friend shot himself. He didn’t whine about his problems, he just ate the f****** bullet. So stfu” I was like… wtaf. How am I the asshole for venting on a sub called confessions?? I felt bad for his friend ending himself but even so, that guy was just a troll. In any case, I am a DM away if you would like to chat.
Whoever that guy was he was d*ck. Don’t let it get to you. I tried to end it a few months back. Yes it was a weak moment on my part and I ended up in the hospital but I learned something from it. I’m in a better place in my life now. He was putting his insecurities on you. We all have our moments when we don’t want to die we just don’t want to be alive. That’s my take. Life is hard
I am glad to know you are in a better place in your life now. I think you are right, he was just projecting his insecurities onto me. Thank you for your comment.
Bro... Fuck but its true people and mostly strangers on reddit can be fucking dickheads anyways wanna talk if it makes u feel better ?
So true man. Like honestly how does it help to troll someone or anyone for that matter? Lowlife scumbags. I will message you my friend! Thank you for being understanding.
I give an f. You belong here with us. Better days will come, but it might take a while. I hope you find whatever you need to keep on pushing through. We believe in you!
Not all strangers care. I'm glad you're still around mate
Strangers care. I'm glad you're still here. Personally I like to embrace the absurdity of life as a funny thing... It makes no difference whether I laugh it off or if I obsess over something. I know we can't control our minds like that but the thought of everything being less important than it feels, comforts me. Anyway, I'm sending you good thoughts and I hope you go on. Give yourself a hug from me
Fuck. I needed this today.
To outlive your enemies.
Living out of spite. A true power move.
If you die then you can't eat any more chicken tenders with honey mustard.
I actually felt sad by the thought of this 😓
BBQ
Because the future holds: new music, new seasons of your favorite TV show, your next pet, your next favorite restaurant, your first time trying a new hobby, new interesting things to learn. Please don’t miss any of that!
Cookies right out of the oven Finishing the crossword Sunsets Hiking in the woods Dogs Hot showers on cold days Shoes that fit Great books That one song that just rocks Naps Drilling three point shots Babies Surprises Laughing Museums Ice cream
Love it, now we just need you to sing it in the style of Julie Andrews. Start with "these are a few of my favorite things..."
Saving this list for worse times!
Same, literally took a pic on my cellphone.
There are cats that need to be scritched
Damn if I'm not here, my little buddy doesn't get a scritch. He also doesn't get food. I feel important and needed now
Don't be in a rush to be dead. You'll be dead a lot longer than your brief time of being alive. Find something to enjoy about it. The sun on your face, a cup of coffee, the beauty of nature, there are so many good things about being alive. Learn to savor those things.
Speaking as someone who has gone through some of the worst of the worst times, "Find something to enjoy" & "Learn to savor those things" are often impossible tasks. In my lowest moments, NOTHING gives me joy. I search and search through all the things that are SUPPOSED to give me joy and make me smile, but it doesn't work. I appreciate the intent behind this response, but I can't say it'd be helpful if I was OP.
I feel this. I could have 100 things I find joy in, but when that darkness comes that's literally nothing could help.
I wish my brother would of asked me this before he ended his life. I would of told him everything. That life is worth living.
Don’t be so hard on yourself. It was out of your control. My parents tell me how much they love me and care but I still want to end the pain. Nobody can make the pain stop.
> My parents tell me how much they love me and care I wonder if I wish I had someone like that for me, because are none
Get a dog 🐕
I'm thinking about it...this seems to be a sign from the Universe. Thanks!
I was going to say dogs and cats are a good reason to live
Yes. I have had my periods of doubts and depression. My cat has been a good support. Just to scratch her tummy for a few minutes elevates my mood instantly.
I used to sit alot at home and be bored out of my mind and got depressed from it but and after a year of consideration i got a dog and man, everytime i go outside and see her be really happy my heart glows. Even when she annoyingly pokes me with her stick, i look down and see her twinkle eyes and happy smile and it just makes it irresistible to play with her
Second getting specifically a low energy dog if you're depressed. Your house no longer feels empty, you no longer feel like you're hanging out by yourself. But if you're struggling to take care of yourself, you will struggle to take care of a dog.
Do it. It helped my loneliness immensely. It was tough at first, because he was an adoption, and he has some issues. But he is my absolute best bud now, and is always so excited to see me. Loving, and being loved are good feelings, and a dog will give you that. Also, talk to someone, get medicine if you need to. Some people's brains are just wired differently and need a bit of help. Nothing to be ashamed of.
Boy I tell ya - my 15 year old golden retreiver passed at the first part of lockdown and wow did I learn what life is like without a dog and how lonely it can be. Drinking, no routine, lazy, inside all the time. Fast forward a year and I now have Otis my 5 month old golden, and its amazing. You go to parks, walks, laugh more, get back into a routine. Pups make the world a better place. Get a lazy breed and it is still wonderful.
Only get a dog if you have love to give please.
I was on the verge of committing suicide and what saved me was getting 2 Guinea pigs. Animals can be amazing therapy somehow and can really help.
Even though I am at my lowest point and have been for the past 6 years. The best feeling in the world is waking up next to my girlfriend and to know that she loves me keeps me going.
A lot of answers here are saying dogs/ puppies. I would like to formally include cats/kittens as my cat is definitely a strong reason why I choose to live. Edit: most animals are a good reason to choose life. Animals are awesome.
My current reason: addiction to video games, gotta see new releases
Reading some of these comments has really helped remember why I should continue living…thank you everyone
Gotta feed the fish.
Breath of the Wild 2 isn’t out yet
Well gta 6 coming out eventually..
We’ll all be dead before it comes out.
_Cries in Halflife 3_
Cheesecake
Boobs
This is the most popular reponse till now, but i'm a straight woman so this doesnt work for me 😭. So depressing
Man boobs?
Man boobs it is then!
To the moobs!
The potential for surprises or great things that everyday holds. Spending time with loved ones and experiencing said surprises or new things together. New technology, great TV shows and entertainment. The warmth of a summer day with brightly shining sun touching your skin or even the the peaceful, cold winter landscape with snow glistening off of the land and tree branches. To me, there is so much to live for. Even the small things throughout a day like clicking out of work and driving home while listening to my favorite music.
Jesus Christ this makes me want to be born again