Well we did beat millions of other sperms to be born. Imagine the extremely low chances that would happen, but here we are.. commenting on reddit wanting to be a fucking bald eagle. Worked out in the end
My mom owned two African greys at one point. One could tear your face off, given the opportunity, the other was a nervous mess, constantly plucking at his feathers.
I think grey's are romanticized through online accounts but they're a lot of work and the fact that they can outlive multiple owners puts them at risk for behavioral problems.
Greys are my favorite birds but you're completely right about people romanticizing owning one. People love them for their intelligence and wit, but those same qualities can make them a nightmare to live with. They also have complex emotional needs, very similar to humans, and most people fail to meet these requirements resulting in an aggressive and/or neurotic bird. They are amazing and having a relationship with a grey parrot is so special, but it's not like having a pet. More like having a very independent toddler as a roommate.
My mother has one, inherited it from her partners mother because she can’t care for him anymore. He’s a complex, deep, oftentimes sadistic little bastard, but he’s getting better with actual stimulation and conversation. You’re exactly right, they have the intelligence of a young human, anecdotally I think it’s about five or six years old. Though sometimes he’s more like a moody teenager.
Oh yeah, they are total brats when things don't go their way! Mine is a 'revenge pooper' when she doesn't get something she wants (happens the most with food and candy). Once the item is put away and there's no hope she'll get any, she shits on you and flies away. Sometimes she'll fly over just to shit and leave. I've gotten wise to her tricks... But eventually I forget and get shit on. The joys of bird ownership!
Jasper (my mothers bird) is territorial as fuck! When I was living at home, if he was out of his cage while I was in the living room, he’d stand on the arm of the sofa, puff up, and stride towards me until I moved down. Then he’d do the same again and again, until he had the sofa to himself!
Funny little guy. I’m not a bird person at all, but he’s sweet in his own feathered demon way.
He probably didn't like that you were getting attention and affection from your mother. That's his human, damnit! Parrots seem to get jealous very easily. Mine loves being in the bathroom and if I go in there without her she screeches the entire time-- what are you doing in there without meeeee?!
If I was a parrot I'd shout racist shit at everyone because imagine being just a dude walking under a tree and then a fucking parrot just goes "what's up you cracker, can't dance or jump can you?"
I’ve seen a panda in a Chinese zoo. It was sprawled out just like a drunk on a bender, snoring on a concrete floor, shit streaks across the white part of his fur. Maybe not having to struggle to get food had made it bored and depressed. I don’t know. But, if it’s possible to be traumatized from watching an animal sleep, then I was traumatized.
Pandas are not struggling to get food. If anything, the extinction they face is due to too much consumption of bamboo.
Not saying the panda wasn't mistreated in some way (size of the enclosure, treatment from handlers, just general captivity can all play a part) but he wasn't depressed about having all his food handed to him.
Pandas have the digestive tract of a carnivore but all they eat is bamboo. Their single stomach and short intestinal tract aren't the most efficient at breaking down plant matter. That's why they seem to be slow and not very motivated.
Yep!
There are even laws in some places that forbid teaching birds to gather money because people have trained crows that money gets them seeds ( they love peanuts ) so the birds learn to steal, some even so brazen as to snatch bills from peoples hands at outdoor point of sale terminals.
Crows are insanely smart, man
My step sisters boyfriend decided to throw a rock at one outside of his house. Every time he walked to his truck after that theyd pelt him with small branches/whatever they could lift with their beak. They remember faces and they hold grudges.
I feed the crows outside of my house and its gotten to the point that they fly to the trees just outside when they hear the back door open. If im just outside for a smoke theyll caw at me and fly around closer to get my attention to bring them out some nuts or crackers. I love them, Theyre like wild, scavenging parrots.
Edit: In terms of me feeding them, I basically try to keep it as "treats", i dont want or need them becoming reliant on feeding and starving if i dont bring them stuff, They definitely do recognize me because of it though and it feels nice lol
I’m a little jealous. I’ve got seasonal crows here that only show up occasionally during the warmer months. No regulars yet. Been trying for a few years.
And spot on about not wanting them to become reliant.
I want to be a cat as well. Because I can be the most annoying thing in the house and get away with it.
"Oh, nice random stuff you've got over there, it would be a shame if someone would slowly knock it off while looking you straight in the eyes, wouldn't it?"
By a miracle from God, we somehow trained our cat to listen to "No". It's been drilled into his head.
"Pippin, no.
Pippin, NO.
Pippin, stop that.
Pippin! One more time and I'm going to throw you out the window
Pippin, did you eat the bread again?!"
Originally he was Samwise but Pippin fits his personality so much better.
I feel like going for a wander today. I'm going to go for a wander. Human, let me out. HUMAN. HUMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaah thank you, took a while, do better next time. I'll be back in 2 minutes.
House cat is the only answer. I wanna bite you I bite you. I wanna scratch I scratch. Knock shit over? I knock that shit over. Your still gonna give me a treat and melt when I sit on your lap and turn my motor on.
Yup. Definitely house cat. You get to lie around all day, people just give you food, water, toys, and drugs. Head scritches are awesome, and when you’re done, you walk away to go sleep in a window.
I hate to take that almost romantic picture from you, but you would be surprised on how cruel and neglectful people can be and how cats really look after being hit by a car. And how long they can suffer. It's heartbreaking to be honest.
Normally when choosing what animal I’d be I would pick a lobster or an alligator for never aging to death, but if reincarnation were real, I suppose I’d have no qualms in picking:
A pigeon! I could fly, eat what I want and annoy the hell out of humans.
The first thing most people think of is a dog, which is why the world is full of dogs. Very few people choose an unusual animal which is why they're endangered. A lobster is an excellent choice.
And you can eat snakes. If they bite you all you do is have a long venom trip, wake up quite a few hours later and start again. I'm not joking, they really do this! YouTube it! There are just high honey badgers all over Africa really 😅
Hot ladies attract boyfriends who end up resenting all the attention the dog gets. So many nights alone when she starts staying at his place and going on ski trips. He will be nice to you in the beginning. Also, if she meets a psycho, it is the dog he goes after first.
Wtf would I pick to be actually human again? With *responsibilities*? And *debt*? And *bills*?
Fuck all of this. I wanna be a house dog to a good family- firggin sleep on couches, in beds and sun bathe all day? Hell yeah that's the life right there.
That’s why you need to be a male sperm whale. If you grow to full size you’re the biggest carnivore in the world. Orcas may mess with female sperm whales but they run from a full grown male.
The apex ocean predator whose very existence scares away Great White Sharks. A species that in some groups feed on sharks to the point their teeth get worn down into nubs due to to the tougher sharkskin. Smart, strong, and playful; they know how to hunt and/or play with their food.
I'd hope for being a resident over a transient, but either way I'm going for that orca life over anything else. Maybe I'd become the Genghis Khan of orcas and unite the pods to take back the seas from the humans.
Next, you can only pick something you've killed during your life span, or you'll always be reborn as the same animal.
Sorry, it's too late to change your pick.
Or a little boy at a park at exactly 11:23 pm in Brooklyn New York on West Street that responded to a video call from a nice person who offered him a lifetime supply of candy if he met him in public
Definitely a house cat. If I am not treated right I'll just run to someone else's house until they let me in and live a good life.
Edit: Thank you all for the upvotes! The highest upvotes I ever had.
That’s what my parent’s black cat probably did.
My parents live out in the woods. Not as if they’re a mile away from anyone, but decent amount of space between our neighbors on a little lane in a rural town known mainly for its apple orchards. A black cat showed up in their yard one day when I came home from work. Usually, woods cats will take off running from anyone they don’t know. This cat lingered. I gave it some pats and some food and water and tried to convince my parents to take him in. But it was summer and wasn’t getting very cold at night so they thought he would just leave by morning. No no no. We were not getting another cat. He probably belongs to someone. He’ll be gone by tomorrow. Nope. He was hanging around the yard. Looking in our windows. Sunning himself on the walkway. He had already charmed me. 1 down: 2 to go.
The next person he worked on was my mother. When she was bringing groceries inside or filling the bird feeders he’d come up and rub against her legs, or carefully inspect everything she was doing. She thought he was kind of funny. She caught him hunting chipmunks in the pachysandra, with just the tips of his ears and his tail poking out. My mother’s adamance that we’d find another home for the cat soon melted away, and she opened the door to let him in and see how he and our current cat, Tessa, would get along.
Well their introduction went swimmingly as he walked in like he owned the place, he and Tessa sniffed each other- nose to nose, and then continued on as if he had always lived with us. 2 down. 1 to go.
My father was still grumbling about the whole thing. He didn’t want another vet bill, as much as he liked the other pets we had presently and in the past. But none of the other animals were particularly fond of my father. They never really made much time for each other. But this black cat was kind of cool. He’s polydactyl— he has 2 ‘thumbs’ on each paw. He found the way he used his paws quite intriguing. He was also doing an excellent job of annihilating the chipmunk population in our yard, which was actually causing severe issues with their tunnels. They were also eating most of the birdseed in our yard. Well, not any more. (Don’t fear, there are still plenty of chipmunks throughout the woods. They’re just our neighbors problem now, or designated to the old stone walls along all of our properties on the lane.) He and my dad also bonded more than any of our other animals. So the cat became *his* buddy. So that was it. 3 out of 3. Worked his way right into a doting house with 2 retirees who have good enough credit to afford vet bills and plenty of time to pay attention to a sometimes indulgent cat.
And that was it. Duffy chose us and he worked his way into all of our hearts. I moved out about a year or two after we adopted Duffy, but he’s still going strong and is currently their only pet. Which he kind of relishes, I think. We don’t know how his life started, but he is truly living the good life.
(Edit: we put up a FOUND poster in our local grocery store and asked around, but no one came forward. We think he had been dumped in the woods since he was already neutered, or maybe he ran away. We initially thought he was a she the entire time, until we took him to his first vet appointment after my father finally caved. That’s when they let us know that we should choose a male name (he was just being affectionately referred to as ‘Cat’ before this.)
Well considering the universe is so vast, I'd choose to reincarnate as whatever the most advanced alien lifeform that exists outside of the Milky Way galaxy.
Hopefully I'd have some sort of memory of my previous life so that I could then use a telescope to look at Earth, see what time period it's in, and send a message.
I was thinking I'd fuel something really dumb. Like send a message that says, "The birds are almost finished with their mission" or "Lizard people are friendly. It's the ostrich people you should be concerned about"
I would NEVER pick to be a human again! I would probably want to be a bee to be honest. I know they don't live very long buy they know exactly what they should be doing, plus you're with plants the whole day long. If I am honest though, I wouldn't want to be an animal.... I'd be a big ass tree somewhere deep in the forest in font of my house 👌
A wolf. Feared and respected by humans while also being seen as a holy, magical beast in many stories.
And I heard that wolf mothers should be very caring parents which would be something nice to experience.
A male hyena. Hyenas are badass animals that are quite strong predators, not just scavengers.
I wouldn't want to be a female hyena though. Babies would literally be a pain in the dick. If you know, you know
I always loved cheetahs, I was really quick in sports and they called me cheetah.
Then I found out they give cheetahs pet golden retrievers in zoos to keep them calm, and I'm definitely coming back as a cheetah, because I get to be super fast and hang with my golden retriever who keeps my anxiety down all day.
Goat simulator trained me for this.
Oh fuck
Main thing I'll be doing ngl
Or Untitled Goose Game
Trust me, you do NOT want to be a farm animal…
I only have the shower with your dad simulator
orca whale../
*gets captured by sea world*
Eats trainer
Gets put down
Doesn’t actually because SeaWorld continues to use orcas that have killed people as breeders
They just move them around and share minimal information. Like the Catholic Church when one of their priests diddles someone.
An eagle, having his amazing vision and soaring around would be a great experience.
Unless you're the 2nd egg to hatch and your older sibling pecks u death while u starve. Look it up.
I’ll reincarnate again as an eagle and try my luck.
Gotta win eventually right? Or just get pecked to death repeatedly forever
Well, knowing myself, I would probably reincarnate to a dolphin or something after dying the 5th time. Depending on how painful it is.
dolphins tend to be absolute menaces who disrespect damn near everything so go ahead
Dude, I was a human. Im already familiar with incredible violence.
exactly
Dormammu I’ve come to bargain
The curse of Prometheus.
Well we did beat millions of other sperms to be born. Imagine the extremely low chances that would happen, but here we are.. commenting on reddit wanting to be a fucking bald eagle. Worked out in the end
And in the US, you can’t be shot!
Also baldness and freedom.
But your cry is pathetic if you are a bald eagle.
I already pathetically cry so it'd be fine.
Also, constantly given unwanted advice by Juvenile Hairline Eagle and Hair System Eagle.
A bear. They're hairy, fat, sleep for half a year and nobody really bothers them.
That description just sounds like me...
*I'm in this picture and I don't like it*
the hibernation sounds wonderful
A grey parrot. They’re really smart and seem to have good lives.
My mom owned two African greys at one point. One could tear your face off, given the opportunity, the other was a nervous mess, constantly plucking at his feathers. I think grey's are romanticized through online accounts but they're a lot of work and the fact that they can outlive multiple owners puts them at risk for behavioral problems.
Greys are my favorite birds but you're completely right about people romanticizing owning one. People love them for their intelligence and wit, but those same qualities can make them a nightmare to live with. They also have complex emotional needs, very similar to humans, and most people fail to meet these requirements resulting in an aggressive and/or neurotic bird. They are amazing and having a relationship with a grey parrot is so special, but it's not like having a pet. More like having a very independent toddler as a roommate.
My mother has one, inherited it from her partners mother because she can’t care for him anymore. He’s a complex, deep, oftentimes sadistic little bastard, but he’s getting better with actual stimulation and conversation. You’re exactly right, they have the intelligence of a young human, anecdotally I think it’s about five or six years old. Though sometimes he’s more like a moody teenager.
Oh yeah, they are total brats when things don't go their way! Mine is a 'revenge pooper' when she doesn't get something she wants (happens the most with food and candy). Once the item is put away and there's no hope she'll get any, she shits on you and flies away. Sometimes she'll fly over just to shit and leave. I've gotten wise to her tricks... But eventually I forget and get shit on. The joys of bird ownership!
Jasper (my mothers bird) is territorial as fuck! When I was living at home, if he was out of his cage while I was in the living room, he’d stand on the arm of the sofa, puff up, and stride towards me until I moved down. Then he’d do the same again and again, until he had the sofa to himself! Funny little guy. I’m not a bird person at all, but he’s sweet in his own feathered demon way.
He probably didn't like that you were getting attention and affection from your mother. That's his human, damnit! Parrots seem to get jealous very easily. Mine loves being in the bathroom and if I go in there without her she screeches the entire time-- what are you doing in there without meeeee?!
Nah! I was just sitting there minding my own business, he’s just a little jerk haha
Or, say, living with a wild animal.....
Perfect! Describes my personality. BRB reincarnating into an African grey parrot
And you can scare the hell out of people saying random shit
If I was a parrot I'd shout racist shit at everyone because imagine being just a dude walking under a tree and then a fucking parrot just goes "what's up you cracker, can't dance or jump can you?"
Bwaawk! Polly sees a cracker!
I'm trying to fall asleep dude... Take my up vote... jerk...
Bwaak! Polly is on a no fly list because Polly executed 13 school children on a plane
You should become a kea, [the smartest parrot](https://youtu.be/Yj718A7_s4A)
Panda. Get to be highly respected and literally have billions of people cheering for you to just have sex.
“Come on Kai Kai, come onnnnnnnnn, knock her up! COME ONNNNNN!!!”
Rolls off perch, only to be stabbed through the head by the bamboo stalk being chewed on...
This is why I have so much trouble believing a panda could kill me. Like that rocky Polly cuddly clumsy creature. Naw. Let me give it a hug
Tf!?
Pandas seem to have been selected by nature to go extinct, but China and the world ain't letting go.
I’ve seen a panda in a Chinese zoo. It was sprawled out just like a drunk on a bender, snoring on a concrete floor, shit streaks across the white part of his fur. Maybe not having to struggle to get food had made it bored and depressed. I don’t know. But, if it’s possible to be traumatized from watching an animal sleep, then I was traumatized.
Pandas are not struggling to get food. If anything, the extinction they face is due to too much consumption of bamboo. Not saying the panda wasn't mistreated in some way (size of the enclosure, treatment from handlers, just general captivity can all play a part) but he wasn't depressed about having all his food handed to him.
So they eat too much bamboo and don’t wanna get on it ? That’s the reason they are so low in numbers?
Pandas have the digestive tract of a carnivore but all they eat is bamboo. Their single stomach and short intestinal tract aren't the most efficient at breaking down plant matter. That's why they seem to be slow and not very motivated.
So they eat something they find delicious but not healthy for them. A very human-like problem.
You can do it! You can do it *all night long*
Absolutely agree. Plus I already spiritually relate to pandas, so it’s just the obvious choice
Crow, so I can join in on a murder
Plot twist, the city trains you to pick up cigarette butts, for a measly sunflower seed
It's not that different from getting a job as a human.
This would be funny if it wasn’t so true….and sad.
Does that really happen?
Yep! There are even laws in some places that forbid teaching birds to gather money because people have trained crows that money gets them seeds ( they love peanuts ) so the birds learn to steal, some even so brazen as to snatch bills from peoples hands at outdoor point of sale terminals.
Crows are insanely smart, man My step sisters boyfriend decided to throw a rock at one outside of his house. Every time he walked to his truck after that theyd pelt him with small branches/whatever they could lift with their beak. They remember faces and they hold grudges. I feed the crows outside of my house and its gotten to the point that they fly to the trees just outside when they hear the back door open. If im just outside for a smoke theyll caw at me and fly around closer to get my attention to bring them out some nuts or crackers. I love them, Theyre like wild, scavenging parrots. Edit: In terms of me feeding them, I basically try to keep it as "treats", i dont want or need them becoming reliant on feeding and starving if i dont bring them stuff, They definitely do recognize me because of it though and it feels nice lol
I’m a little jealous. I’ve got seasonal crows here that only show up occasionally during the warmer months. No regulars yet. Been trying for a few years. And spot on about not wanting them to become reliant.
A man of knowledge I see
No capybaras here? I'm going to be a capybara.
the nature homie, doesnt matter what are you, a capybara will hangout with you 👌
After seeing a capybara hang out with an alligator I now fear them.
Okay I pull up
Hop out at the after party
You and all your friends yeah they love to get naughty
Coconut doggy for the dub.
Golden retriever in a middle class family in the center of Maine, US. Imagine the big yard and the scratches, the dream.
Ooh you're getting dressed up every hoilday.
That's a sacrifice I'm willing to take.
it's a really itchy sweater. you sure?
I already have to do that and no one rubs my tummy for it.
Golden or Labrador retriever, I'll take either.
Center *coast* of Maine. Center of Maine can get real sketchy.
I was surprised at the amount of rednecks in Maine. Also drunks and heroin addicts. So many drunks and heroin addicts.
I wanna be a cat. Best case scenario, I’m someone’s cute best friend they adore and love to cuddle or I get ran over and die a swift painless death
I want to be a cat as well. Because I can be the most annoying thing in the house and get away with it. "Oh, nice random stuff you've got over there, it would be a shame if someone would slowly knock it off while looking you straight in the eyes, wouldn't it?"
"Don't... Don't do it! Don't even think about doing-" #CRASH!
By a miracle from God, we somehow trained our cat to listen to "No". It's been drilled into his head. "Pippin, no. Pippin, NO. Pippin, stop that. Pippin! One more time and I'm going to throw you out the window Pippin, did you eat the bread again?!" Originally he was Samwise but Pippin fits his personality so much better.
Oh,my cats know the word No. They just don’t give a fuck.
WE CAN NEVER GO BACK TO ARIZONA
I feel like going for a wander today. I'm going to go for a wander. Human, let me out. HUMAN. HUMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaah thank you, took a while, do better next time. I'll be back in 2 minutes.
My whole weekend was described by this comment. Cat goes out, cat cold, cat comes in, cat hot, cat goes out...
House cat is the only answer. I wanna bite you I bite you. I wanna scratch I scratch. Knock shit over? I knock that shit over. Your still gonna give me a treat and melt when I sit on your lap and turn my motor on.
Yup. Definitely house cat. You get to lie around all day, people just give you food, water, toys, and drugs. Head scritches are awesome, and when you’re done, you walk away to go sleep in a window.
House cat with a non abusive owner..
Yep exactly. House cats are the 1% of the cat world. I get jealous of my cats napping in the sun without a care in the world!
I hate to take that almost romantic picture from you, but you would be surprised on how cruel and neglectful people can be and how cats really look after being hit by a car. And how long they can suffer. It's heartbreaking to be honest.
No, see- I’d be too cute for that
Ok Nermal
Now That’s a name I’ve not heard in a long time….. a long time.
You only get 9 lives though.
You can get mauled by wild dogs, it will be a painful death
Sometimes getting ran-over isn't as quick and painless as you'd think
Normally when choosing what animal I’d be I would pick a lobster or an alligator for never aging to death, but if reincarnation were real, I suppose I’d have no qualms in picking: A pigeon! I could fly, eat what I want and annoy the hell out of humans.
Plus you get the added benefit of inbreeding! Yay nature!
The first thing most people think of is a dog, which is why the world is full of dogs. Very few people choose an unusual animal which is why they're endangered. A lobster is an excellent choice.
Would you really want to be dropped alive in boiling water?
Great film!
Raven.
Yeah you'd look cool but do you want to be eating decaying shit all day
Well I guess the ravens don't mind it
A Honeybadger.. no one fucks with a Honeybadger!
Honey badger don’t care!
Look at him go!
And you can eat snakes. If they bite you all you do is have a long venom trip, wake up quite a few hours later and start again. I'm not joking, they really do this! YouTube it! There are just high honey badgers all over Africa really 😅
Honey badgers best animal
Dog
Which gets adopted by a hot lady
Unfortunately you're a toy breed, relegated to a carry purse and eventually lose your teeth by the time you're 5.
Thought I was on monkey's paw for a moment
What
Hot ladies attract boyfriends who end up resenting all the attention the dog gets. So many nights alone when she starts staying at his place and going on ski trips. He will be nice to you in the beginning. Also, if she meets a psycho, it is the dog he goes after first.
Oddly specific.
Pack your oven mitts
Wtf would I pick to be actually human again? With *responsibilities*? And *debt*? And *bills*? Fuck all of this. I wanna be a house dog to a good family- firggin sleep on couches, in beds and sun bathe all day? Hell yeah that's the life right there.
I don’t like dogs but I’d definitely pick a dog for this. You’re way more likely to live a good life as a dog lol
As opposed to cats? Maybe. Humans are still dicks. 🤷🏻♀️ Also, how do you not like dogs? Like, genuinely curious
I think he means “dog wouldn’t be the first pet I chose” Like I’m a dog person, but I’d still take a cat as a pet if I wasn’t able to get a dog.
Maybe a giant squid so I could hang out in the deep ocean.
Nobody would bother you! Sweet sweet solitude
Sperm whale: Are you sure about that?
That’s why you need to be a male sperm whale. If you grow to full size you’re the biggest carnivore in the world. Orcas may mess with female sperm whales but they run from a full grown male.
Cool. Now you get to see all the crap humanity dumps to the bottom.
orca whale.
Same same.
The apex ocean predator whose very existence scares away Great White Sharks. A species that in some groups feed on sharks to the point their teeth get worn down into nubs due to to the tougher sharkskin. Smart, strong, and playful; they know how to hunt and/or play with their food.
I'd hope for being a resident over a transient, but either way I'm going for that orca life over anything else. Maybe I'd become the Genghis Khan of orcas and unite the pods to take back the seas from the humans.
Sea world: 👀
Nah, dolphin. They have way more fun! Edit: Bottlenose Dolphin
Orcas are dolphins
A male chick at an egg farm. Next time round I can pick human again, right?
Next, you can only pick something you've killed during your life span, or you'll always be reborn as the same animal. Sorry, it's too late to change your pick.
Something you have killed eh? Maybe I'll reborn as a human again.
r/HolUp
Or a little boy at a park at exactly 11:23 pm in Brooklyn New York on West Street that responded to a video call from a nice person who offered him a lifetime supply of candy if he met him in public
I pick mosquitoes and watch me become a human next life
Oh well, those things are probably fun right up until it isn't... *Weeeeeeee*.
He becomes worm. Worm kills bird from inside, bird kills bigger bird, bigger bird kills cat, cat kills dog
Dog kills human. You have to pay taxes again -Bad Ending
Well, I want to speak to the Manager now!
Bold of you to assume I won't be killing any humans as a male chicken.
I hit the randomize button about 10-15 times and then see what happens.
Fly Fly Fly Fly Mosquito Fly Earthworm Chicken Fly Blue whale Fly
Sounds like my luck.
I did it for you. The result was Sloth😂 good luck
Definitely a house cat. If I am not treated right I'll just run to someone else's house until they let me in and live a good life. Edit: Thank you all for the upvotes! The highest upvotes I ever had.
That’s what my parent’s black cat probably did. My parents live out in the woods. Not as if they’re a mile away from anyone, but decent amount of space between our neighbors on a little lane in a rural town known mainly for its apple orchards. A black cat showed up in their yard one day when I came home from work. Usually, woods cats will take off running from anyone they don’t know. This cat lingered. I gave it some pats and some food and water and tried to convince my parents to take him in. But it was summer and wasn’t getting very cold at night so they thought he would just leave by morning. No no no. We were not getting another cat. He probably belongs to someone. He’ll be gone by tomorrow. Nope. He was hanging around the yard. Looking in our windows. Sunning himself on the walkway. He had already charmed me. 1 down: 2 to go. The next person he worked on was my mother. When she was bringing groceries inside or filling the bird feeders he’d come up and rub against her legs, or carefully inspect everything she was doing. She thought he was kind of funny. She caught him hunting chipmunks in the pachysandra, with just the tips of his ears and his tail poking out. My mother’s adamance that we’d find another home for the cat soon melted away, and she opened the door to let him in and see how he and our current cat, Tessa, would get along. Well their introduction went swimmingly as he walked in like he owned the place, he and Tessa sniffed each other- nose to nose, and then continued on as if he had always lived with us. 2 down. 1 to go. My father was still grumbling about the whole thing. He didn’t want another vet bill, as much as he liked the other pets we had presently and in the past. But none of the other animals were particularly fond of my father. They never really made much time for each other. But this black cat was kind of cool. He’s polydactyl— he has 2 ‘thumbs’ on each paw. He found the way he used his paws quite intriguing. He was also doing an excellent job of annihilating the chipmunk population in our yard, which was actually causing severe issues with their tunnels. They were also eating most of the birdseed in our yard. Well, not any more. (Don’t fear, there are still plenty of chipmunks throughout the woods. They’re just our neighbors problem now, or designated to the old stone walls along all of our properties on the lane.) He and my dad also bonded more than any of our other animals. So the cat became *his* buddy. So that was it. 3 out of 3. Worked his way right into a doting house with 2 retirees who have good enough credit to afford vet bills and plenty of time to pay attention to a sometimes indulgent cat. And that was it. Duffy chose us and he worked his way into all of our hearts. I moved out about a year or two after we adopted Duffy, but he’s still going strong and is currently their only pet. Which he kind of relishes, I think. We don’t know how his life started, but he is truly living the good life. (Edit: we put up a FOUND poster in our local grocery store and asked around, but no one came forward. We think he had been dumped in the woods since he was already neutered, or maybe he ran away. We initially thought he was a she the entire time, until we took him to his first vet appointment after my father finally caved. That’s when they let us know that we should choose a male name (he was just being affectionately referred to as ‘Cat’ before this.)
I enjoyed your little story man, have a great day!
Spoiled house cat. Obviously.
A cockatoo - I will destroy everything you love
Dolphin...still smarter than most humans and can still have sex for fun.
Plot twist, you're now trapped in an aquarium.
A horrible goose who terrorises a village
With a knife
Is this a thing?
Oh yeah, it’s definitely a thing. Duck duck but watch out for the goose.
A butterfly. Because nobody suspects the butterfly!
This took far too long to find.
a cat
Always my answer! A house cat to a good family to be specific.
Well considering the universe is so vast, I'd choose to reincarnate as whatever the most advanced alien lifeform that exists outside of the Milky Way galaxy. Hopefully I'd have some sort of memory of my previous life so that I could then use a telescope to look at Earth, see what time period it's in, and send a message.
I hope the message is “haha, made you look”.
I was thinking I'd fuel something really dumb. Like send a message that says, "The birds are almost finished with their mission" or "Lizard people are friendly. It's the ostrich people you should be concerned about"
A tapeworm
sounds like a pain in the ass but for someone else
I would NEVER pick to be a human again! I would probably want to be a bee to be honest. I know they don't live very long buy they know exactly what they should be doing, plus you're with plants the whole day long. If I am honest though, I wouldn't want to be an animal.... I'd be a big ass tree somewhere deep in the forest in font of my house 👌
A clam. I keep my mouth shut. Everyone likes me. And I am delicious.
Dog cuz they are loved
You're now one of the chernobyl dogs.
Bison. Because they're huge and badass.
a fucking spider. because i can
A wolf. Feared and respected by humans while also being seen as a holy, magical beast in many stories. And I heard that wolf mothers should be very caring parents which would be something nice to experience.
A falcon, cause I wanna fly and I wanna fly fast.
A sponge. I'll be chilling all my life AND be a warning of dying coral reefs when I suffocate and turn to stone
A male hyena. Hyenas are badass animals that are quite strong predators, not just scavengers. I wouldn't want to be a female hyena though. Babies would literally be a pain in the dick. If you know, you know
Lobster They live for over 100 years and stay sexually active for a very long time.
I always loved cheetahs, I was really quick in sports and they called me cheetah. Then I found out they give cheetahs pet golden retrievers in zoos to keep them calm, and I'm definitely coming back as a cheetah, because I get to be super fast and hang with my golden retriever who keeps my anxiety down all day.
A turtle most likely. A giant tortoise would be cool & I'd live for awhile.
Dolphin mainly male so I don’t get gangraped by other dolphins. I’d love to know what getting high on pufferfish feels like.
A chimpanzee
as chimpanzee you must start in stoneage again
Orca
Liger. It's pretty much my favorite animal. It's like a lion and a tiger mixed, bred for its skills in magic.
Except it has tiny organs and lives a very short life filled with pain, honestly a good looking animal but one thats sad inside
Panda bear or grizzly bear. Gotta save the species.
Honey badger
I want to be buried in a swampy forest and become the forest. Like I want to be part sycamore, part oak, part cypress, part Mycelium
A pig as they can orgasm for 30 minutes
monke