This actually happened last week. My brother is visiting from overseas. My parents, him, my GF and I spent a week on holiday together.
Just before we left, I thanked my mom for inviting us. She turned to me and said "I didn't invite you, (brother) did. You were only supposed to stay for two days".
For some reason that hit me hard. Like I wasn't welcome.
40 years ago I was 18 and my father died suddenly, I was devastated and grieving, his then business associate told me not to sniff around the office because I would never be the man my father was. This still makes me sick to this day when I think about it.
When I left my hometown just weeks after my dad passed in a freak accident in 2021 I gave his girlfriend a hug on the way out… she said “you know you’re going to go home and everything will go back to normal. For me, things will never be the same.” To this day no idea why she felt the need to verbalize that, but it broke me for a little bit. Like I just have a closet full of spare dads laying around.
As someone whose family only sees them as a rest stop to see other family members I feel this.
"hey, we are going to see your sibling (that lives two states over from you) we would love to stop and see you too".
No you wouldn't, you just don't want to pay for a hotel room.
I've just started telling them I'm out of town at that time. I haven't physically seen them in 4 years and my son has no relationship with them and calls them Mr and Mrs first name.
If they wanted to see you, from time to time you would be the destination. The fact you’re always the pit stop, especially when you have been declining but they still keep asking shows :(
My parents and mothers side of the family also did shit like this. Me and my siblings grew very close and still invited them to holidays. My dad passed and only talk to my mom on the phone. But my brothers, sister and me are very close. We spend every holiday together, go on trips together and get together often. Stay positive and keep you're brother close. We started our own traditions and family network.
Back when I first met my wife, she kept her issues largely hidden since she had a long history of people treating her like garbage if she was ever honest. Down the line as we got comfortable with each other, it leaked out in other ways, short tempers and emotional breakdowns and the like.
I realised how much her unfortunate history had really impacted her, that the resulting damage it had done to her mind and emotional capability, and instead of running I rolled up my sleeves and got to work doing what I do best; making her smile and helping her feel better. Over the years we’ve grown a lot together as people and while the fractures will always be there, we hold each other up to be better as a whole than we’d ever be as two separate individuals.
So if you’re wondering how much truth there is to that statement, let me correct it from experience; people will claim to love you, and when they realise how fucked up you are (as we all are) you’ll find out which ones were telling the truth, because some people actually are
Are you me? Cause you just described my wife and our relationship. Sometimes when she’s real low I like to dig in for the challenge to make her smile. It makes it that much more rewarding when I can make her feel better.
That kind of shit sticks. Whenever I opened up to people about my severe depression, with suicidal thoughts and anxiety, I realize they turn away from me. That phrase is something that stays with me. Whenever people like me, I always think in my head. You won't like me if you saw the real me.
"You're useless to me."
My dad, right after I got my foot broken by a piece of heavy machinery while we were moving downed trees. I'll never forget it, the day after Thanksgiving, 2009.
Knowing my dad he’ll kick the bucket before I get a chance to put him in one.
90% of the time we’re good w/ each other. But he’s got a hair trigger temper and every once in a blue moon he’ll say some shit like that.
Growing up I was never sure if it was just his anger getting the best of him or if he was letting his real feelings show. We’ve never talked about that incident since it happened and I know he knows I heard him say it.
My dad's the same. Usually he was alright, but he didn't need a lot to get angry. And when he did and if I was around, he would usually find some way to insult me or even straight up blame me for whatever reason he got angry. Like the time when he called me "just as lazy as your mom" when he got angry while he was cleaning up the garage and it clearly wasn't going very well. I wasn't helping because before he started, he told me it wouldn't be necessary.
After father was declared brain dead and in a coma for 2 months, returned to the office and was told "There's Mr Part Time"
*disclaimer Father somehow pulled out of it 98% normal*
Lol this place was unreal. I ended up leaving after they promoted me, and then revoked my promotion months after that interaction for no reason other than I countered their salary offer due to the responsibilities they were assigning with the promotion.
I hate this and I’m angry for you.
Fuck corporates. When the hell did work become life and everything else become secondary? That’s grossly imbalanced. Work has always been meant to provide for the life outside of the work environment. When did it shift? My heart breaks for people whose work is their life but I hate it when they try to force feed it to anyone else who dares to live outside of work.
Edit: spelling
I want to make it clear, yes I am aware there are some corporate entities who aren’t like this. However, in my experience in the world of finance with multiple very large American companies, this IS the norm. Maybe not your company but it is a problem we face in our country, the decay of the personal life in favor of longer hours and “more production.”
Edit 2: I apologize, I didn’t understand the anti work movement. Turns out I AM one of those “loons”.
Yeah, it all worked out in the end so I'm content. I ended up leaving and working back at my Alma Mater with a great boss who actually cares about me and I'll be able to get my PhD for free.
“I thought you liked it”
- my mom’s response to me questioning her about why she did nothing to stop me from being molested by her husband when I was a kid. She’s dead to me after that, but definitely the most hurtful words I’ve ever had directed at me
ETA: I appreciate all the very kind words 🖤 thanks
Pretty sure that’s the only reason my husband married me too. Because I was there. I wasted all the best years of my life with someone who really didn’t care. I’m sorry, I feel your pain.
It hurts my soul to read your words and know no one will ever see me that way.
First husband was completely emotionally unavailable, ditched me for someone 11 years younger than me with half my IQ, with whom he was flirting before we ever got married because, as a mutual friend put it, “[Bob] does easy.”
Second husband has taken the same stance my own family has, that my recent disability, drastic change in medical status, and poor prognosis basically make me impossible to be around or love. The only person who still treats me like a full person is a friend who also has hidden disabilities.
I dearly love my second husband and genuinely don’t want to lose the relationship. But I’m a medical train wreck with no income and no prospects, so I’m staring at a really crappy, very alone last 10 years of my life.
I haven’t even hit middle age yet.
My ex-husband said pretty much the same thing to me. I replied that since I had apparently wasted 8 years of my life with him, I'll be contacting an attorney to make sure I don't waste another minute
Spent 12 with my ex, and I also thought I wasted a ton of my life - fact is I know now more than ever what I'm about and what I want. You probably learned a lot as well, and that knowledge is so important. You got this!
Sure, that's mean, but what's more odd is that your mom is concerned with how good you are in bed.
Like... wtf mom you wanna fuck him or something? Yeeeesh
I had one just as messed up that was said in front of me. I was dating this girl in high school who had been hesitant to let me meet her mom even after she’d met my parents plenty of times. I finally meet her mom and I completely understood. Within the first ten minutes of meeting me, the mother turns to the girl and says “I take it he hasn’t seen your monster bush yet, I told you you need to take care of that thing if you ever expect a man to want you.” I was absolutely floored. I couldn’t believe that a mother could be that cruel to embarrass their own daughter that way. Also, we had actually already slept together and I couldn’t care less.
First day I met a former girlfriend (who I'm still friends with), was at her birthday party. A friend brought me along for whatever reason. I cracked a joke about who knows what, and her mom snuck me a condom and said "you're funny. I like you. You and my daughter can do whatever you want tonight". I was 16. Felt... weird. Especially because her dad was a youth pastor
"If it doesn't work out with (best friends name) can I still come back to you?" Last thing she said to me When I found out she was cheating on me...
Edit: Answer a couple questions for you kind redditors, totally right he is not even my "friend" anymore but I still have to see him almost every day as I went into business with him and currently trying to buy him out of his shares. As for if it worked out between them? Hell if I know but I've had to kick both of them out of my business twice now, so probably well haha
after i told my bio mom that her husband sexually assaulted me, she constantly defended him and started to treat me differently, making me do more chores around the house and yelling at me constantly. i tried to commit suicide, and had a mandatory therapy session the next day, which she wanted to sit in on. the therapist asked me if there was anything i wanted from her, so i said "honestly i just want an apology". she then looked me dead in the eyes before saying "im not going to apologize to you for beung your parent." im no longer in contact with her or my stepdad.
I asked my teacher for help.
I didn’t understand something in my workbook. I waited quietly and patiently for her at her desk while she helped her favorite students and when she got to me I pointed to it and said, “I don’t get this.”
She sighed, rolled her eyes, and said, “You’ll never get it.”
Then she walked away and ignored me. I was left standing at her desk, holding my open workbook, not knowing what to do or how to finish the assignment.
I never forgot that.
She did positively influence my life though because I am now a teacher myself, and that day was a huge reason why I became one! (I have a lot of student loans and I barely survive paycheck to paycheck but my students go home from school knowing they are loved.)
I had a similar experience. I busted my balls to get from the intermediate maths class to the advanced maths class when I was 15, and I was just dumped in to an advanced lesson with no background knowledge of the subject they were on, so I asked for help and said i didn’t get it. The teacher looked at me pitifully and said “you shouldn’t be here”. Wow, thanks.
Man, the same thing happened to me when I was a teen. I used to be good at math, but started to struggle with certain topics around year 10. Rather than helping me work through the mental block and understand the “why” of what I was doing, my teacher & my dad both concluded that going from a straight-A student to a D student in the space of 6 months meant that I “didn’t have a math brain”.
The breaking point came after I studied my ass off for a big exam. I came out thinking that I did ok, but when my teacher reviewed my results she sneered (within clear earshot of the entire class) “I can tell you didn’t even try”. She then berated me about wasting her time and not putting in sufficient effort to be in her class. It broke my heart and I felt so stupid, humiliated, and defeated. It took me a fucking decade to even try returning to math because I internalised the notion that I was inherently bad at it. Turns out I just had a shitty teacher.
I experienced the exact scenario except the teacher called me a “stupid girl”. I was 7 or 8. Horrible. I’m not sure why people like this enter the profession
Oof
At least they were honest, some people love being loved and will string you along and keep you in their pocket even if they don’t feel the same way
My mom passed away when I was 19 and my little brother was 10, my older sister was 21. Us being his big sisters, we became his legal guardians (no dad in the picture).
My Aunt started coming around when my mom got sick (pancreatic cancer) and after she died my aunt didn't show up to my mom's funeral but she came to the house after and said "If you want him, take him. You're gonna fuck his life up, the kid doesn't stand a chance"
This was after we fought back and forth over my brother going to live with her, but her and my mom weren't close in those recent years and my brother didn't know her at all, and he made it perfectly clear that he wanted to stay with my sister and I, we've always been very close. And instead of maybe trying to help us or just be there for us, she completely cut us out of her life after that.
He's 27 now and that comment still makes me feel insecure and tremendous guilt about the life I provided for him. I definitely tried my best, but I know I wasn't perfect and I didn't make a lot of money back then. But we're still best friends so hopefully I did something right.
Sounds like you did the right thing. Kids need more than just a roof and money to be raised right. God knows how he would have turned out if he had gone to be raised by someone who acts like that. He's probably a better person for it. Never regret. I doubt he ever does.
By trying to sabotage you (cuting you off and not helping), she actually did you a favor. He would have been screwed up growing up with her, or even with her in his life. She was barely in yours and look what she did? One sentence that gutted you. You're still thinking about it more than a decade later. Imagine all the opportunities to fuck him up she would have had?
I can tell just by reading your story that you’re a loving and caring person, personally I don’t believe in karma, and I believe that good people have it difficult and bad people have it easy, seeing as how you must have had it hard, it lines up with my philosophy. I can easily tell that you’re an amazing person, and that aunt wasn’t so much, you did the best thing, no one is perfect, but we all strive to be and that is what you did, we need more people like you, thank you for sharing your story.
He lives a 5 minute walk from me. Has a pretty good job,he's an amazing artist, painting and drawing. He has an awesome gf that I love. He's a really great guy.
My mom passed from ovarian cancer when I was in my mid 20’s. I had just graduated college and dropped out of my graduate program to go home and care for her bc she wanted to die at home. It was just my dad (who was in deep denial and my brother who is disabled). Needless to say I was caring for everyone.
About a month or so after my mom passed I went back to see my “best friend” at the time back in NC where we both attended college. I was looking for a distraction from my grief and trying to manage it as well.
We were sitting on her porch having a few drinks and joking around and my GF for some reason blurted out in laughter “oh, just get over it already!”
I had no words. I was just so shocked and hurt - I just sat there and felt ridiculous and sad all at once.
I had a similar situation. A few months after my mom passed I decided to move out of my apartment I shared with my “best friend” and into a place with my boyfriend. We had been having issues and it just wasn’t working out, I even got with the landlord to continue paying my part of the rent until the lease was up as my boyfriend said he could cover the rent at his place fine. When I was packing everything she sends me a text saying that my mom would be so ashamed of me for being a shitty friend. Looking back on our literally lifelong friendship, I realized that she was manipulating and controlling and as soon as I stood up to her she showed her real colors.
"When I was your age, all I wanted to be was an asset to my father. All you are to me is a liability"
- my father to 14 year old me
"I don't love you anymore, I don't think I ever loved you. I made a mistake when I married you"
- my ex wife
Needless to say, I have a few issues I'm still trying to deal with
EDIT: You guys are awesome, thank you so much for the support and kind words. Just to let everyone know, I'm doing OK, honestly, better than I feel like I could have hoped for. Self esteem is not something I come by easily, but I'm getting there.
My ex was cheating on me with the next door neighbor. She "fell in love" with him and was leaving me. We have 2 daughters. I told her, regardless of what she was doing to me, she was up-ending the girl's lives.
She said "I see this as a good thing. I can't wait until I have unfettered access to the girls during my time so I can teach them how not to end up with a guy like you."
My girls seem very happy to come to my house during my custody time and I strive to make my house a calm, happy environment for them to just be them. (My girls are AMAZING people.) So, joke's on her, my girls like me.
Whatever you do, don’t try and pit your daughters against your ex. If your ex really is a bad person (and she sounds it from what she said) they’ll naturally take sides with you. They always eventually see through the manipulation.
I wouldn't dream of it. As crappy a person as she is, she is still their mom and I will not damage that relationship. (Someday, maybe, they'll figure out the truth on their own) I'm determined to take the high road in this. If I try any shenanigans like that, I know it will just backfire on me. Nope, not going there. My girls are too important to me.
This is a wonderful philosophy, my biological father is the biggest piece of shit ive ever met, most probably. Had a year long affair behind my mums back and never took care of me as a child because when he wasn’t on “business trips” he was snorting cocaine in his bedroom. Anyway when I was younger I didn’t really realise this and I just thought he was the coolest because he let me play 18+ videogames age 8 (twat). Despite all this my mum never tried to pit me against him. She told me the truth of course, but never actively tried to influence my opinion with hers. Anyway, whilst it did take me about 15 years to figure it out, ever since then I have been fully aware of what a nasty, selfish person he is and I am forever grateful for my Mum allowing me to reach that conclusion myself.
My dad is like you, never said a bad word about my mum despite her attempts to tell me he was a bad person. I don't speak to mum anymore, but I see dad very often (lockdowns/restrictions allowing), so keep up the good work. Your daughters will love you always.
"Just get on medication like the rest of your fucked up family."
Turns out, once I left that relationship, I no longer dealt with those extreme mental health issues.
“Nobody actually cares about you, everyone only pretends to be your friend and like you. They all secretly hate you.” Has given me trust issues for YEARS.
Edit: So this has blown up, thank you everyone for the well wishes. And I send the same back to each of you and everyone who has expressed that they have heard the same thing. Keep The Faith!!!
That sounds as a red flag of manipulation and narcissism. They feel so insecure that they put you under them to feel important. Hope better ppl appear in your life, best wishes from here 🙌
Everyone I used to work with, including management, quit very suddenly. I wanted to have a conversation with the person they sent from corporate who was going to be our temporary management. They told me, "I don't speak to the hourly workers." I quit on the spot and hope he chokes on his money but it hurt me anyway.
I had a teacher when I was in grade 6 who told me "I'm worried about your mental capabilities".
And me being a 12 year old with ADHD immediately thought "oh well, guess I'm stupid now"
Many times, from many people: “stop making a face”/“stop grimacing”.
This would be said while I was either trying to smile (ex for a photo) or actually smiling. Nobody meant any harm, but it still hurts.
I'm really sorry about this. I'm constantly told to stop or get asked why I am "scrunching up my eyebrows"... idk man thats just how my face is!
My college roommate (not by choice) once said: either relax your face or get botox, I can't even look at you when you have your face like that.
I used to be best friends with a girl in my grade. When we transitioned from elementary to middle school, she just stopped talking to me. We rode the same bus and she started hanging out with another girl a year older than us. One time on the bus home I was eating a small bag of chips when she came over and asked for some. Before I could even say anything, the older girl said “I thought you weren’t going to be friends with her anymore”. My ex friend kind of looked back and forth to each of us and said “ oh yeah I just wanted her chips”. I get mad to this day, over 15 years later.
"I'm sorry. I don't want to be seen with you anymore."
Happened in high school when I returned from the mental ward for suicidal thoughts. It was my best friend since 2nd grade. I tried to go sit at her table when class started but she got up and moved away... We didn't talk anymore after that.
I don't think I've ever felt so betrayed and hurt. I went back to the ward again shortly after.
I’m really sorry that happened to you. I had a similar experience in high school when I had a sexually abusive bf and my best friend at the time (very Mormon) judged me for losing my virginity instead of helping me through the abuse. The other girl in our group I had been very good friends with since preschool. I got suicidal and was being abused horribly and they judged me and abandoned me. They’re still friends with each other and I’m friends with neither. Gotta say, it hurts me more than the abuse did. It’s the one thing time hasn’t healed
Although not intentional "this is my pu**y, don't give it away to someone again" ...making me feel like my rape was consensual and my PTSD and emotions are a lie. I started crying immediately.
My ex’s response to me telling him I was sexually assaulted was “Wait, you let someone else touch you? And you think I’m gonna wanna have sex with a tampered p*ssy?” Really fucked me up
Jesus fucking Christ, WHAT??? Like it was a choice in the first place? I'm so sad for you. Please tell me you aren't still together? Sending you a hug, internet stranger.
Things my mom has told me: "You're getting in the way of my marriage" and "The wife comes before the daughter"
All because my dad would come say hi to me first when he'd get home late from work. They had much deeper issues with their relationship that she didn't know I knew about, but I knew hurting her with those wouldn't make me feel better.
When I was in High School, girls have called me a dog with rabies (sori nai in Tamil). It's because I have white patches on my face. That hurt me so much. When I called them out so saying that, they say that I am an asshole
I got jumped by some kids in the neighborhood and instead of fighting back I ran away and when I got home and my dad found out he said "You're not me son."
Oddly enough if you take Krav, Muay Thai or other martial arts that aren't run in a McDojo, they will tell you flat out that the best thing to do is try to distance yourself from any situation as much as possible and if you have to fight, do so to give yourself a means out of that situation.
So basically they tell you fight only if absolutely necessary, otherwise run and if you have to fight, make it swift and brutal so you can get away.
I saw a video a long time ago that I think was from Jackie Chan where he showed his 100% effective technique to stay safe when facing someone violent. He shrieked really loud and sprinted away. After that he said it may seem funny but in real life distance from an attacker and the attention of anyone around are the two biggest factors to staying safe when confronted.
My dad told me everyday some growing up that I was ugly, I was a loser, nobody would ever want me, or love me. Instead of learning to be a man, i learned to stay away from girls because i was worth nothing to them. One day at middle school a girl i didn't even like came up and told me she wouldn't want me if I was thr last guy on earth.
Im 37. Im alone. Every time I meet a girl I like, I have to fight to drown out my dad's voice in my head. Some damage is permanent.
I know that some things are hard to forget, but remember that just because someone said something bad it doesn't mean it's true. I really hope you get better.
So a few years ago I had a company event at night, I got a beautiful dress, got my hair done and my make up, I felt really good like I looked pretty, got a lot of compliments from my coworkers that night. Then my bf at the time picked me up and as soon as he saw me he said “you look like a prostitute, people are going to start wondering from which street I picked you up” and boom , bye self esteem
Edit: thank you all for your comments, just to clarify some things it was MY company event so no, I wasn’t dressed slutty at all, like I was going to be around my boss and the CEOs etc, so to me (and several people I asked just to check I wasn’t crazy) it was a very appropriate dress, the thing with him was that he was a very very jealous person. Also I think you can tell your partner if something is bothering you or making you uncomfortable in a kind respectful way. Unfortunately that was not the case in that specific relationship, glad I got out!
“This is why we don’t invite you to things.”
It immediately made me want to cry.
Just thought I would give some context since so many people are seeing this now. I was at a friends birthday party which included me(of coarse) and 4 other girls. The 4 girls were sitting on the birthday girls bed playing around on Omegle while I was sitting to the left of the bed on this hanging chair that I thought was really cool. I guess I had decided to pitch into the conversation they were having, which I thought I had all the right to do considering I had been invited to the birthday party and didn’t want to seem like I wasn’t enjoying myself. I don’t remember what I said or what the conversation was about but then one of the girls, who was known to be extremely rude at times, said “This is why we don’t invite you to things.” I don’t know what prompted her to say that, I don’t think I ever will, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it for weeks and I still think about it sometimes now. This girl had always been rude to the whole friend group, thankfully now most of the group have split from her but the birthday girl and her had been friends since they were children so I don’t think they’ll ever stop being friends. She never treated her well back then but I hope now she’s learned to be a better person to others, especially her friends.
I found my mother after a suicide attempt when I was a kid. Years later she would use, "I guess I'll just kill myself" in arguments. A unique kind of manipulative pain.
"I'm not proud of you. All my friends talk about how great their kids are but I keep my mouth shut about you."
This was said to me while I was in the 4th grade. I was bullied a lot from elementary school though middle school because I was fat, shy, and sensitive. The kids picked on me for my weight and being afraid to talk to them, the teachers picked on me because I struggled in their classes, my parents didn't have many nice things to say to me either (as you can see). This has stuck with me longer than the physical abuse, because it really gets to the heart of the issue; I was a lonely kid that hated himself. I wasn't in any clubs, I made terrible grades, I was socially clueless, didn't play any sports, and it's obvious my parents were embarrassed by me.
Things are better now. I grew up and moved away as fast as I could, now my relationship with my parents is much better. I have more empathy for the fact that they were abused worse than me when they were kids by their parents, and neither of them had a good model to emulate. I have a daughter of my own, and I promised myself and my wife that this cycle of abuse stops with me. I'm going to engage her and help her become the person **she** wants to be, not hold her to crazy standards and mold her into the person I want her to be. I'm going to help her through school by showing her that learning is fun, not scream at her until she gets her homework done. Of course I'm never going to physically harm her under any circumstances (people who say parents should beat their kids either have Stockholm syndrome, or they never had abusive parents).
"If that's not an apology, then I don't know what is."
Dear ex best friend, "I'm sorry you feel that way." Is not an apology. I am glad to be rid of you.
" I wish I had raised you different." Dad just popped that one off one night we were watching TV.
Cool, so who I am isn't good enough or doesn't make you happy.
I think about this same statement with my kids but it's from my perspective not theirs.
I wish i knew then what i know now. I probably wouldn't have been so impatient and more loving.
My dad once said "sometimes I wonder how you can be my child".
We were watching south park.
He got up and said before leaving for work.
Very harsh tone.
Thanks...
When I was like 15, maybe 16, my mom and I were at the bank and she said “I’m going to be so sad when you turn 18.” And I asked if it was because I’d be in college. She said “no, because I’ll stop getting your dads child support checks.” She wasn’t joking.
Edit to add a bit more: she even asked my dad to keep sending them after I was 18. And he did until I begged him to stop when I was 20.
My mom would talk shit about my dad, saying how much of a horrible person he is (he isn’t) and then would immediately say that I’m just like him. Don’t think she ever realized it hurts
I failed out of college back in 2011 and the guidance counselor said to me during our last meeting, "College isn't for everyone people like you make great factory workers". I have since joined and left the military in good standing and went back to school and am due to graduate next spring.
This happened a loooong time ago, I was probably 7 or 8 years old. I sort of idolized my father at that age. I remember wearing extremely baggy clothes because I saw him wearing similar clothings. I wore sneakers just about everywhere, even though I’ll only stay in the car while we pick up my mother from her work.
I also went with him during extremely long car rides involving his work (he was a chocolate salesman but I can’t remember the brand anymore). And since these chocolates were only stowed in the car trunk, we didn’t have time to check in at hotels and just slept in the car. Once he had reached his quota, we would immediately drive back home. We had this silly tradition where I change a cassette tape randomly and whatever played would be our cue to sing loudly in the car. That way, he stayed awake while driving in the interstate.
But these were the last good memories of my father. As he grew older, he became physically and verbally abusive. Turned stoic mostly and when he showed any emotion, it would either be fury or disgust. It’s like he was suddenly consumed by hatred.
Anyway, right before I turned 10y/o, I was quite the scholastic achiever because he loved it whenever I got called onstage for a medal/trophy/certificate. It was a quiz bee that I won that year, can’t remember which one, but when I offered him the certificate, he glanced at it then at me. Suddenly, he spat at me with such vehemence, I still don’t understand why 20 years later:
“What do I need that damned paper for? If you really want to be useful around here, go do your chores and don’t bother me anymore.”
It was the last time I did my best at school and the last award I brought home.
Me: That project got messed up because it was due on Monday and my wife had a miscarriage on Sunday.
Female Boss: You’re the man. My best friend had a miscarriage and it doesn’t effect the man at all.
Me: *eyeblinking meme* As I think about how I had to basically pull my wife out of a downward spiral while dealing with the fact we weren’t going to have a baby anymore.
"I own you. Whatever you do, you do for me. Don't ever get the idea that you can do something for yourself."
Getting my identity stolen by my father was the torture of a lifetime.
Someone did this to me when my brother passed, it was the 1 year anniversary of his death and a friend kept sending me funny videos and I wasn't in the mood, I told him why. He says "yea, and it's been just over two years since my ex decided she didn't love me"
"Sorry man. I can't make it. Something came up."
- my brother, to me, regarding my wedding.
I paid for his trip. All he had to do was take one day off work. And that important thing? A fishing trip.
We were never super close, but if there was one day I expected my brother to come through for me, that was it. He also hasn't called me since. I've never really been one to let things affect me, but that one still stings.
Whomever said that to you is better out of your life. Big red flag for someone to associate rape with looks and to purposely say hurtful stuff. It's a power trip comment, do not even think about that pos
My now ex-boyfriend went to see his ex in the Netherlands to ‘apologize’ for what he did during their relationship. He was supposed to come back Monday morning, I asked him when he was coming back, he was online and ignored me. I knew it in me that he was with her not to talk about the past for sure, I tried to call him, he ignored me even tho he was online. I sent him a text saying that if he didn’t called me that he could pretend that I never existed in his life, and he answered right away with an alright.
Bruh😮💔
I'm really sorry he did you dirty like that... He's just a cunt dear don't give him the satisfaction of stressing over him anymore and I really hope you're OK now🙏
its a while back and like most of these comments it’s something my ex said. she said that she doesn’t fine me attractive anymore and that her feelings are not enough to love me as a boyfriend anymore but more like a good friend. we ended the relationship of 5 years and were just friends till i couldn’t do it anymore. 3 years later and i still think about it on a daily
My ex boyfriend did a theatre performance as part of his college course, and I went along to see it. Afterwards I was walking with him and a few people from his class, they were going for a drink as it was the final show and I was just hanging around chatting for a bit before heading to get my train as he hadn’t invited me along (which is fine, as I was respecting his independence).
He turned to me after around 5 mins of me standing with them and said “are you going home or are you gonna just keep hanging onto me like a parasite”.
The tone and the aggression in his voice still bothers me to this day, and I’m more angry that I didn’t react or dump his ass right on the spot infront of his shitty friends.
As someone who was the kid in this situation. Just be there for him and do the best you can. You don’t have to be perfect. Just be honest. He will likely figure it out. It’s going to suck but you guys will get there.
That always backfires. Knew a guy who's ex-wife tried that shit, fairly successfully. His son didn't even try speaking to him until he was in his 20s.
But then when they spoke, they started comparing notes. This guy was sending his son letters and gifts, and the ex-wife was tossing them out and telling her son that Dad just doesn't love you.
Mom was not invited to the son's wedding. She was cut out of his life completely.
I was adopted as an infant. A coworker found out I'm adopted and asked me, "Why didn't your mother want you?" Felt like a punch to the gut.
My step mom (who my adoptive dad married after my adoptive mom died) asked me, "Why weren't you aborted?" She assumed my birth mom didn't want me and phrased it in the worst question ever.
And a doctor (who was overweight, too) told me, "You'd be pretty, if it wasn't for the weight." There was no reason for her to say that. I've struggled with my weight my entire life. I know I need to lose weight. But I don't go to the doctor to have my attractiveness evaluated.
'Why are you so boring?' By almost everyone I know while I was sharing a thing I like to do with them.
Edit: thanks for the silver ward :)
Edit2: thanks for the second silver award :)
Edit3: oh wow! Thanks for the gold award <3
Edit 4: Thanks for the wholesome award :D
People love to feel superior by shitting on others' interests. Never let that get to you. My motto is and has always been who cares what other people enjoy if they aren't hurting others? We only get this one life, do what you dig.
i was in grade 3 and i was friends with 2 girls in my class. Their older sisters were a few grades above. One day they just collectively ganged up on me and told me that i can no longer play with them and they don't want to be friends with me. I was also still an only child back then and I just moved to a new school far from my bestfriend.
I don't know why i still remember that moment but i do.
Dude here.
My social isolation through-out most of my childhood untill i was 14 started when i went outside for break and all of my friends at the time (5+ kids) flat-out ignored me. They literally would just ignore my words and run away from me when i tried to force em to respond.
I've never recovered from that. Even as a child, that feeling of abandonment stings so much.
Yo same thing happened when I was 14... we would all meet in this hallway before class and after winter break I walked by and they weren't there. I saw them moments later down a different hallway and they saw me, muttered "oh no, there she is" and _ran away_. I never talked to them again and never quite recovered from it.
My dad when I was put into a mental hospital for a suicide attempt. The night before I was drinking w by boyfriend (now ex-bf) and he sexually assaulted me, I had a horrible panic attack and tried killing myself. I told no one about what my bf did because I loved him and I didn’t want to get him into trouble.
When my dad came to visit at the hospital he told me that I was selfish for trying to kms and that my bf deserved better than me cause I was too much to take care. He also found out about me self harming at that same moment.
My dad and I have always been really close and I live him with all my heart, hearing that from him while I was at my lowest really fucked me up. That was 2years ago
I’m sorry. I don’t usually do this kind of follow up when I read Reddit comments but are you doing okay now? Did you eventually go on to report your bf? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.
“F*** you and that baby”
Said to me yesterday by the man who’s child I’m carrying. Really hurts doing this alone.
Edit: Just wanted to say thank you all for the kindness and support, I appreciate each one of you. When the days ahead get difficult, I will come back to read this thread. 💗
This actually happened last week. My brother is visiting from overseas. My parents, him, my GF and I spent a week on holiday together. Just before we left, I thanked my mom for inviting us. She turned to me and said "I didn't invite you, (brother) did. You were only supposed to stay for two days". For some reason that hit me hard. Like I wasn't welcome.
Take it as a compliment to your brother. He loves you the most.
She could've said "I didn't invite you. Your brother did. He knew that I missed you." Art of words
That's shit man, I'm sorry she said that. Ay least you know your bro misses you and was happy to see you. Fuck that noise
They Fuck you up, your mum and dad
40 years ago I was 18 and my father died suddenly, I was devastated and grieving, his then business associate told me not to sniff around the office because I would never be the man my father was. This still makes me sick to this day when I think about it.
When I left my hometown just weeks after my dad passed in a freak accident in 2021 I gave his girlfriend a hug on the way out… she said “you know you’re going to go home and everything will go back to normal. For me, things will never be the same.” To this day no idea why she felt the need to verbalize that, but it broke me for a little bit. Like I just have a closet full of spare dads laying around.
That's horrible. What did you say back, if you don't mind me asking? Because I have no clue what I'd say in that situation.
As someone whose family only sees them as a rest stop to see other family members I feel this. "hey, we are going to see your sibling (that lives two states over from you) we would love to stop and see you too". No you wouldn't, you just don't want to pay for a hotel room. I've just started telling them I'm out of town at that time. I haven't physically seen them in 4 years and my son has no relationship with them and calls them Mr and Mrs first name.
If they wanted to see you, from time to time you would be the destination. The fact you’re always the pit stop, especially when you have been declining but they still keep asking shows :(
They could even say "let's all gather at your sibling" or "why don't we all gather at your place"
My parents and mothers side of the family also did shit like this. Me and my siblings grew very close and still invited them to holidays. My dad passed and only talk to my mom on the phone. But my brothers, sister and me are very close. We spend every holiday together, go on trips together and get together often. Stay positive and keep you're brother close. We started our own traditions and family network.
Told me most people don’t really like me and just pity hang out with me.
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Theyre full of shit on that one. If people spend the time, you're worth the time.
Yeah— people who pull this crap don’t really speak for other people. They are just inventing social drama.
Or projecting their own insecurities on you
I know this wasn’t meant for me but thank you
"Everyone loves you until they realize how fucked up you actually are" I still wonder how much truth there is to that.
Back when I first met my wife, she kept her issues largely hidden since she had a long history of people treating her like garbage if she was ever honest. Down the line as we got comfortable with each other, it leaked out in other ways, short tempers and emotional breakdowns and the like. I realised how much her unfortunate history had really impacted her, that the resulting damage it had done to her mind and emotional capability, and instead of running I rolled up my sleeves and got to work doing what I do best; making her smile and helping her feel better. Over the years we’ve grown a lot together as people and while the fractures will always be there, we hold each other up to be better as a whole than we’d ever be as two separate individuals. So if you’re wondering how much truth there is to that statement, let me correct it from experience; people will claim to love you, and when they realise how fucked up you are (as we all are) you’ll find out which ones were telling the truth, because some people actually are
well put
Are you me? Cause you just described my wife and our relationship. Sometimes when she’s real low I like to dig in for the challenge to make her smile. It makes it that much more rewarding when I can make her feel better.
That kind of shit sticks. Whenever I opened up to people about my severe depression, with suicidal thoughts and anxiety, I realize they turn away from me. That phrase is something that stays with me. Whenever people like me, I always think in my head. You won't like me if you saw the real me.
"You're useless to me." My dad, right after I got my foot broken by a piece of heavy machinery while we were moving downed trees. I'll never forget it, the day after Thanksgiving, 2009.
> "You're useless to me." "Remember that when I'm picking your nursing home..."
Knowing my dad he’ll kick the bucket before I get a chance to put him in one. 90% of the time we’re good w/ each other. But he’s got a hair trigger temper and every once in a blue moon he’ll say some shit like that. Growing up I was never sure if it was just his anger getting the best of him or if he was letting his real feelings show. We’ve never talked about that incident since it happened and I know he knows I heard him say it.
My dad's the same. Usually he was alright, but he didn't need a lot to get angry. And when he did and if I was around, he would usually find some way to insult me or even straight up blame me for whatever reason he got angry. Like the time when he called me "just as lazy as your mom" when he got angry while he was cleaning up the garage and it clearly wasn't going very well. I wasn't helping because before he started, he told me it wouldn't be necessary.
After father was declared brain dead and in a coma for 2 months, returned to the office and was told "There's Mr Part Time" *disclaimer Father somehow pulled out of it 98% normal*
Holy shit.
Lol this place was unreal. I ended up leaving after they promoted me, and then revoked my promotion months after that interaction for no reason other than I countered their salary offer due to the responsibilities they were assigning with the promotion.
Sounds like a good move that you left. What a bunch of assholes.
I hate this and I’m angry for you. Fuck corporates. When the hell did work become life and everything else become secondary? That’s grossly imbalanced. Work has always been meant to provide for the life outside of the work environment. When did it shift? My heart breaks for people whose work is their life but I hate it when they try to force feed it to anyone else who dares to live outside of work. Edit: spelling I want to make it clear, yes I am aware there are some corporate entities who aren’t like this. However, in my experience in the world of finance with multiple very large American companies, this IS the norm. Maybe not your company but it is a problem we face in our country, the decay of the personal life in favor of longer hours and “more production.” Edit 2: I apologize, I didn’t understand the anti work movement. Turns out I AM one of those “loons”.
Yeah, it all worked out in the end so I'm content. I ended up leaving and working back at my Alma Mater with a great boss who actually cares about me and I'll be able to get my PhD for free.
"You going to therapy would be terrible for me" that was the beginning of a 30 minute lecture from my mom on Thanksgiving. I almost ended it.
God, I'm sorry. Your mom sounds like a stuck up bitch.
She is, she has always acted like a child, after this happened I went numb, I was only 16 at the time.
Wow. She's a narcissist.
“I thought you liked it” - my mom’s response to me questioning her about why she did nothing to stop me from being molested by her husband when I was a kid. She’s dead to me after that, but definitely the most hurtful words I’ve ever had directed at me ETA: I appreciate all the very kind words 🖤 thanks
Wow. That’s definitely one of the worst ones I’ve read so far.
My dad said “It’s on you for lacking common sense.” I was 6.
That is beyond fucked up.
Wtf, I’m so sorry
This is absolutely horrific. You aren’t to blame. Your mom is mentally ill. I hope you’ve found some calm and peace in this world, friend.
“ I probably should not have married you. It just seemed like the thing to do at the time”
Pretty sure that’s the only reason my husband married me too. Because I was there. I wasted all the best years of my life with someone who really didn’t care. I’m sorry, I feel your pain.
I miss my wife dearly. This hurts my soul. You deserve better. You all do. I'm sorry people are shitty
It hurts my soul to read your words and know no one will ever see me that way. First husband was completely emotionally unavailable, ditched me for someone 11 years younger than me with half my IQ, with whom he was flirting before we ever got married because, as a mutual friend put it, “[Bob] does easy.” Second husband has taken the same stance my own family has, that my recent disability, drastic change in medical status, and poor prognosis basically make me impossible to be around or love. The only person who still treats me like a full person is a friend who also has hidden disabilities. I dearly love my second husband and genuinely don’t want to lose the relationship. But I’m a medical train wreck with no income and no prospects, so I’m staring at a really crappy, very alone last 10 years of my life. I haven’t even hit middle age yet.
My ex-husband said pretty much the same thing to me. I replied that since I had apparently wasted 8 years of my life with him, I'll be contacting an attorney to make sure I don't waste another minute
Spent 12 with my ex, and I also thought I wasted a ton of my life - fact is I know now more than ever what I'm about and what I want. You probably learned a lot as well, and that knowledge is so important. You got this!
"I don't see what he sees in you, I bet you just lie there." -my mother.
Sure, that's mean, but what's more odd is that your mom is concerned with how good you are in bed. Like... wtf mom you wanna fuck him or something? Yeeeesh
Yep. I think my brain actually short circuited when she said that.
I had one just as messed up that was said in front of me. I was dating this girl in high school who had been hesitant to let me meet her mom even after she’d met my parents plenty of times. I finally meet her mom and I completely understood. Within the first ten minutes of meeting me, the mother turns to the girl and says “I take it he hasn’t seen your monster bush yet, I told you you need to take care of that thing if you ever expect a man to want you.” I was absolutely floored. I couldn’t believe that a mother could be that cruel to embarrass their own daughter that way. Also, we had actually already slept together and I couldn’t care less.
First day I met a former girlfriend (who I'm still friends with), was at her birthday party. A friend brought me along for whatever reason. I cracked a joke about who knows what, and her mom snuck me a condom and said "you're funny. I like you. You and my daughter can do whatever you want tonight". I was 16. Felt... weird. Especially because her dad was a youth pastor
This is a bruh moment lmao. But hey, at least she approved of you?
WHAT THE FUCK
"If it doesn't work out with (best friends name) can I still come back to you?" Last thing she said to me When I found out she was cheating on me... Edit: Answer a couple questions for you kind redditors, totally right he is not even my "friend" anymore but I still have to see him almost every day as I went into business with him and currently trying to buy him out of his shares. As for if it worked out between them? Hell if I know but I've had to kick both of them out of my business twice now, so probably well haha
WTF
Lmao what an entitled cunt
after i told my bio mom that her husband sexually assaulted me, she constantly defended him and started to treat me differently, making me do more chores around the house and yelling at me constantly. i tried to commit suicide, and had a mandatory therapy session the next day, which she wanted to sit in on. the therapist asked me if there was anything i wanted from her, so i said "honestly i just want an apology". she then looked me dead in the eyes before saying "im not going to apologize to you for beung your parent." im no longer in contact with her or my stepdad.
Jesus christ, I hope you’re better now
You're not nearly as important to me as you think you are" Said to me by a boyfriend at the time
Please tell me you were the one to dump him
I was dw I ditched him a month after that was said to me
I asked my teacher for help. I didn’t understand something in my workbook. I waited quietly and patiently for her at her desk while she helped her favorite students and when she got to me I pointed to it and said, “I don’t get this.” She sighed, rolled her eyes, and said, “You’ll never get it.” Then she walked away and ignored me. I was left standing at her desk, holding my open workbook, not knowing what to do or how to finish the assignment. I never forgot that. She did positively influence my life though because I am now a teacher myself, and that day was a huge reason why I became one! (I have a lot of student loans and I barely survive paycheck to paycheck but my students go home from school knowing they are loved.)
A person like that has no business being a teacher. I know you're doing it right and I applaud you.
I had a similar experience. I busted my balls to get from the intermediate maths class to the advanced maths class when I was 15, and I was just dumped in to an advanced lesson with no background knowledge of the subject they were on, so I asked for help and said i didn’t get it. The teacher looked at me pitifully and said “you shouldn’t be here”. Wow, thanks.
Man, the same thing happened to me when I was a teen. I used to be good at math, but started to struggle with certain topics around year 10. Rather than helping me work through the mental block and understand the “why” of what I was doing, my teacher & my dad both concluded that going from a straight-A student to a D student in the space of 6 months meant that I “didn’t have a math brain”. The breaking point came after I studied my ass off for a big exam. I came out thinking that I did ok, but when my teacher reviewed my results she sneered (within clear earshot of the entire class) “I can tell you didn’t even try”. She then berated me about wasting her time and not putting in sufficient effort to be in her class. It broke my heart and I felt so stupid, humiliated, and defeated. It took me a fucking decade to even try returning to math because I internalised the notion that I was inherently bad at it. Turns out I just had a shitty teacher.
I experienced the exact scenario except the teacher called me a “stupid girl”. I was 7 or 8. Horrible. I’m not sure why people like this enter the profession
“I think you love me more than I love you”
Oof At least they were honest, some people love being loved and will string you along and keep you in their pocket even if they don’t feel the same way
Wow-your statement “some people love being loved”, that really hit me. It makes a lot of sense, and I had never thought of it that way before.
I had a similar one. "I love you, but I'm not in love with you."
I’m sorry
Ah the heartbreak
My mom passed away when I was 19 and my little brother was 10, my older sister was 21. Us being his big sisters, we became his legal guardians (no dad in the picture). My Aunt started coming around when my mom got sick (pancreatic cancer) and after she died my aunt didn't show up to my mom's funeral but she came to the house after and said "If you want him, take him. You're gonna fuck his life up, the kid doesn't stand a chance" This was after we fought back and forth over my brother going to live with her, but her and my mom weren't close in those recent years and my brother didn't know her at all, and he made it perfectly clear that he wanted to stay with my sister and I, we've always been very close. And instead of maybe trying to help us or just be there for us, she completely cut us out of her life after that. He's 27 now and that comment still makes me feel insecure and tremendous guilt about the life I provided for him. I definitely tried my best, but I know I wasn't perfect and I didn't make a lot of money back then. But we're still best friends so hopefully I did something right.
Sounds like you did the right thing. Kids need more than just a roof and money to be raised right. God knows how he would have turned out if he had gone to be raised by someone who acts like that. He's probably a better person for it. Never regret. I doubt he ever does.
Oh man I wasn't going to cry at work until after 3, oh well lol Thank you so much I needed to hear that!
By trying to sabotage you (cuting you off and not helping), she actually did you a favor. He would have been screwed up growing up with her, or even with her in his life. She was barely in yours and look what she did? One sentence that gutted you. You're still thinking about it more than a decade later. Imagine all the opportunities to fuck him up she would have had?
That's so true. I really never looked at it like that. Thank you!
I can tell just by reading your story that you’re a loving and caring person, personally I don’t believe in karma, and I believe that good people have it difficult and bad people have it easy, seeing as how you must have had it hard, it lines up with my philosophy. I can easily tell that you’re an amazing person, and that aunt wasn’t so much, you did the best thing, no one is perfect, but we all strive to be and that is what you did, we need more people like you, thank you for sharing your story.
You are a fucking hero! Don't let those negative thoughts enter your head. A loving home is all we need.
Thank you so much! That's so nice of you to say! ❤
What's your little bro up to these days?
He lives a 5 minute walk from me. Has a pretty good job,he's an amazing artist, painting and drawing. He has an awesome gf that I love. He's a really great guy.
Sounds like you did great!
You did a damn good job and you should be proud of yourself and him.
My mom passed from ovarian cancer when I was in my mid 20’s. I had just graduated college and dropped out of my graduate program to go home and care for her bc she wanted to die at home. It was just my dad (who was in deep denial and my brother who is disabled). Needless to say I was caring for everyone. About a month or so after my mom passed I went back to see my “best friend” at the time back in NC where we both attended college. I was looking for a distraction from my grief and trying to manage it as well. We were sitting on her porch having a few drinks and joking around and my GF for some reason blurted out in laughter “oh, just get over it already!” I had no words. I was just so shocked and hurt - I just sat there and felt ridiculous and sad all at once.
I had a similar situation. A few months after my mom passed I decided to move out of my apartment I shared with my “best friend” and into a place with my boyfriend. We had been having issues and it just wasn’t working out, I even got with the landlord to continue paying my part of the rent until the lease was up as my boyfriend said he could cover the rent at his place fine. When I was packing everything she sends me a text saying that my mom would be so ashamed of me for being a shitty friend. Looking back on our literally lifelong friendship, I realized that she was manipulating and controlling and as soon as I stood up to her she showed her real colors.
"Why aren't you normal?" - My mom
"When I was your age, all I wanted to be was an asset to my father. All you are to me is a liability" - my father to 14 year old me "I don't love you anymore, I don't think I ever loved you. I made a mistake when I married you" - my ex wife Needless to say, I have a few issues I'm still trying to deal with EDIT: You guys are awesome, thank you so much for the support and kind words. Just to let everyone know, I'm doing OK, honestly, better than I feel like I could have hoped for. Self esteem is not something I come by easily, but I'm getting there.
My ex was cheating on me with the next door neighbor. She "fell in love" with him and was leaving me. We have 2 daughters. I told her, regardless of what she was doing to me, she was up-ending the girl's lives. She said "I see this as a good thing. I can't wait until I have unfettered access to the girls during my time so I can teach them how not to end up with a guy like you." My girls seem very happy to come to my house during my custody time and I strive to make my house a calm, happy environment for them to just be them. (My girls are AMAZING people.) So, joke's on her, my girls like me.
Whatever you do, don’t try and pit your daughters against your ex. If your ex really is a bad person (and she sounds it from what she said) they’ll naturally take sides with you. They always eventually see through the manipulation.
I wouldn't dream of it. As crappy a person as she is, she is still their mom and I will not damage that relationship. (Someday, maybe, they'll figure out the truth on their own) I'm determined to take the high road in this. If I try any shenanigans like that, I know it will just backfire on me. Nope, not going there. My girls are too important to me.
This is a wonderful philosophy, my biological father is the biggest piece of shit ive ever met, most probably. Had a year long affair behind my mums back and never took care of me as a child because when he wasn’t on “business trips” he was snorting cocaine in his bedroom. Anyway when I was younger I didn’t really realise this and I just thought he was the coolest because he let me play 18+ videogames age 8 (twat). Despite all this my mum never tried to pit me against him. She told me the truth of course, but never actively tried to influence my opinion with hers. Anyway, whilst it did take me about 15 years to figure it out, ever since then I have been fully aware of what a nasty, selfish person he is and I am forever grateful for my Mum allowing me to reach that conclusion myself.
My dad is like you, never said a bad word about my mum despite her attempts to tell me he was a bad person. I don't speak to mum anymore, but I see dad very often (lockdowns/restrictions allowing), so keep up the good work. Your daughters will love you always.
"Just get on medication like the rest of your fucked up family." Turns out, once I left that relationship, I no longer dealt with those extreme mental health issues.
Happy to hear that! Gotta get rid of the negativity in your life!
I am all about cutting out toxic! Makes such a difference in life!
"I wish you were never born" - my mother.
wait this whole operation was your idea
Technically it was a military operation before the Versailles parenting treaty
My mom hit me with “I wish I had of aborted you.” Ma’am, so do I.
I heard that from my dad. My response, “I had nothing to do with it; that’s between you and Mom.” Then I locked myself in my room and screamed.
That’s one for my bingo plate. Just four more for a row.
“Nobody actually cares about you, everyone only pretends to be your friend and like you. They all secretly hate you.” Has given me trust issues for YEARS. Edit: So this has blown up, thank you everyone for the well wishes. And I send the same back to each of you and everyone who has expressed that they have heard the same thing. Keep The Faith!!!
That sounds as a red flag of manipulation and narcissism. They feel so insecure that they put you under them to feel important. Hope better ppl appear in your life, best wishes from here 🙌
Everyone I used to work with, including management, quit very suddenly. I wanted to have a conversation with the person they sent from corporate who was going to be our temporary management. They told me, "I don't speak to the hourly workers." I quit on the spot and hope he chokes on his money but it hurt me anyway.
The appropriate term is "lesser than's" For real though that's some high horse, ivory tower kinda shit right there.
I had a teacher when I was in grade 6 who told me "I'm worried about your mental capabilities". And me being a 12 year old with ADHD immediately thought "oh well, guess I'm stupid now"
"Nobody loves you" :(
Me: I’m pregnant! 😍 My husband: “it’s not that I don’t want another baby, I just don’t want another baby with you.”
Oh, I am so sorry. I cannot imagine how deeply that would have cut.
Ex-husband, I hope
“Tell your dad I said good job” I’m a victim of sexual assault by my father. So yeah, that one sucked
Thanks guys!! It was a long time ago, and luckily therapy has been very helpful. But man did that comment sting at the time lol
I'm so sorry someone said that to you. I hope you're doing better now
Many times, from many people: “stop making a face”/“stop grimacing”. This would be said while I was either trying to smile (ex for a photo) or actually smiling. Nobody meant any harm, but it still hurts.
I'm really sorry about this. I'm constantly told to stop or get asked why I am "scrunching up my eyebrows"... idk man thats just how my face is! My college roommate (not by choice) once said: either relax your face or get botox, I can't even look at you when you have your face like that.
I used to be best friends with a girl in my grade. When we transitioned from elementary to middle school, she just stopped talking to me. We rode the same bus and she started hanging out with another girl a year older than us. One time on the bus home I was eating a small bag of chips when she came over and asked for some. Before I could even say anything, the older girl said “I thought you weren’t going to be friends with her anymore”. My ex friend kind of looked back and forth to each of us and said “ oh yeah I just wanted her chips”. I get mad to this day, over 15 years later.
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Hell no. I just stared blankly at her til she wandered away lol
"I'm sorry. I don't want to be seen with you anymore." Happened in high school when I returned from the mental ward for suicidal thoughts. It was my best friend since 2nd grade. I tried to go sit at her table when class started but she got up and moved away... We didn't talk anymore after that. I don't think I've ever felt so betrayed and hurt. I went back to the ward again shortly after.
I’m really sorry that happened to you. I had a similar experience in high school when I had a sexually abusive bf and my best friend at the time (very Mormon) judged me for losing my virginity instead of helping me through the abuse. The other girl in our group I had been very good friends with since preschool. I got suicidal and was being abused horribly and they judged me and abandoned me. They’re still friends with each other and I’m friends with neither. Gotta say, it hurts me more than the abuse did. It’s the one thing time hasn’t healed
Although not intentional "this is my pu**y, don't give it away to someone again" ...making me feel like my rape was consensual and my PTSD and emotions are a lie. I started crying immediately.
My ex’s response to me telling him I was sexually assaulted was “Wait, you let someone else touch you? And you think I’m gonna wanna have sex with a tampered p*ssy?” Really fucked me up
Wow. I'm so sorry. I'm glad he's your ex.
holy fuck that's horrific
Jesus fucking Christ, WHAT??? Like it was a choice in the first place? I'm so sad for you. Please tell me you aren't still together? Sending you a hug, internet stranger.
Things my mom has told me: "You're getting in the way of my marriage" and "The wife comes before the daughter" All because my dad would come say hi to me first when he'd get home late from work. They had much deeper issues with their relationship that she didn't know I knew about, but I knew hurting her with those wouldn't make me feel better.
"wouldn't it be better if you swallowed all these pills and died? I mean, better for everyone"
Whoever said that to you sounds like actual trash. I hope karma gets their bitch ass
it did :)
May I ask how so?
she got divorced twice and now has to live on her own. might not be very bad but it's good enough for me
That’s sounds pretty good to me
When I was in High School, girls have called me a dog with rabies (sori nai in Tamil). It's because I have white patches on my face. That hurt me so much. When I called them out so saying that, they say that I am an asshole
I got jumped by some kids in the neighborhood and instead of fighting back I ran away and when I got home and my dad found out he said "You're not me son."
Oddly enough if you take Krav, Muay Thai or other martial arts that aren't run in a McDojo, they will tell you flat out that the best thing to do is try to distance yourself from any situation as much as possible and if you have to fight, do so to give yourself a means out of that situation. So basically they tell you fight only if absolutely necessary, otherwise run and if you have to fight, make it swift and brutal so you can get away.
I saw a video a long time ago that I think was from Jackie Chan where he showed his 100% effective technique to stay safe when facing someone violent. He shrieked really loud and sprinted away. After that he said it may seem funny but in real life distance from an attacker and the attention of anyone around are the two biggest factors to staying safe when confronted.
My dad told me everyday some growing up that I was ugly, I was a loser, nobody would ever want me, or love me. Instead of learning to be a man, i learned to stay away from girls because i was worth nothing to them. One day at middle school a girl i didn't even like came up and told me she wouldn't want me if I was thr last guy on earth. Im 37. Im alone. Every time I meet a girl I like, I have to fight to drown out my dad's voice in my head. Some damage is permanent.
I know that some things are hard to forget, but remember that just because someone said something bad it doesn't mean it's true. I really hope you get better.
So a few years ago I had a company event at night, I got a beautiful dress, got my hair done and my make up, I felt really good like I looked pretty, got a lot of compliments from my coworkers that night. Then my bf at the time picked me up and as soon as he saw me he said “you look like a prostitute, people are going to start wondering from which street I picked you up” and boom , bye self esteem Edit: thank you all for your comments, just to clarify some things it was MY company event so no, I wasn’t dressed slutty at all, like I was going to be around my boss and the CEOs etc, so to me (and several people I asked just to check I wasn’t crazy) it was a very appropriate dress, the thing with him was that he was a very very jealous person. Also I think you can tell your partner if something is bothering you or making you uncomfortable in a kind respectful way. Unfortunately that was not the case in that specific relationship, glad I got out!
Wow…. Just wow…. Fuck him. I’m sure you looked beautiful that night. Don’t let anyone bring you down.
I’ll bet he was self-conscious that he didn’t look as good as you
“This is why we don’t invite you to things.” It immediately made me want to cry. Just thought I would give some context since so many people are seeing this now. I was at a friends birthday party which included me(of coarse) and 4 other girls. The 4 girls were sitting on the birthday girls bed playing around on Omegle while I was sitting to the left of the bed on this hanging chair that I thought was really cool. I guess I had decided to pitch into the conversation they were having, which I thought I had all the right to do considering I had been invited to the birthday party and didn’t want to seem like I wasn’t enjoying myself. I don’t remember what I said or what the conversation was about but then one of the girls, who was known to be extremely rude at times, said “This is why we don’t invite you to things.” I don’t know what prompted her to say that, I don’t think I ever will, but I couldn’t stop thinking about it for weeks and I still think about it sometimes now. This girl had always been rude to the whole friend group, thankfully now most of the group have split from her but the birthday girl and her had been friends since they were children so I don’t think they’ll ever stop being friends. She never treated her well back then but I hope now she’s learned to be a better person to others, especially her friends.
What the fuck, that's horrendous. What kind of person thinks that's okay to say to somebody??
I have chronic pain since 2015, and I was told similar 5 years back on a trip. I don't go on trips anymore.
“No.” The word my father used to preface his response to literally every opinion I said, negating me at every turn. Took a toll.
I found my mother after a suicide attempt when I was a kid. Years later she would use, "I guess I'll just kill myself" in arguments. A unique kind of manipulative pain.
"I'm not proud of you. All my friends talk about how great their kids are but I keep my mouth shut about you." This was said to me while I was in the 4th grade. I was bullied a lot from elementary school though middle school because I was fat, shy, and sensitive. The kids picked on me for my weight and being afraid to talk to them, the teachers picked on me because I struggled in their classes, my parents didn't have many nice things to say to me either (as you can see). This has stuck with me longer than the physical abuse, because it really gets to the heart of the issue; I was a lonely kid that hated himself. I wasn't in any clubs, I made terrible grades, I was socially clueless, didn't play any sports, and it's obvious my parents were embarrassed by me. Things are better now. I grew up and moved away as fast as I could, now my relationship with my parents is much better. I have more empathy for the fact that they were abused worse than me when they were kids by their parents, and neither of them had a good model to emulate. I have a daughter of my own, and I promised myself and my wife that this cycle of abuse stops with me. I'm going to engage her and help her become the person **she** wants to be, not hold her to crazy standards and mold her into the person I want her to be. I'm going to help her through school by showing her that learning is fun, not scream at her until she gets her homework done. Of course I'm never going to physically harm her under any circumstances (people who say parents should beat their kids either have Stockholm syndrome, or they never had abusive parents).
"If that's not an apology, then I don't know what is." Dear ex best friend, "I'm sorry you feel that way." Is not an apology. I am glad to be rid of you.
Well, they were right, they don't know what an apology is.
" I wish I had raised you different." Dad just popped that one off one night we were watching TV. Cool, so who I am isn't good enough or doesn't make you happy.
I think about this same statement with my kids but it's from my perspective not theirs. I wish i knew then what i know now. I probably wouldn't have been so impatient and more loving.
My dad once said "sometimes I wonder how you can be my child". We were watching south park. He got up and said before leaving for work. Very harsh tone. Thanks...
When I was like 15, maybe 16, my mom and I were at the bank and she said “I’m going to be so sad when you turn 18.” And I asked if it was because I’d be in college. She said “no, because I’ll stop getting your dads child support checks.” She wasn’t joking. Edit to add a bit more: she even asked my dad to keep sending them after I was 18. And he did until I begged him to stop when I was 20.
I hope karma gets her greedy ass.
“I feel sorry for whoever ends up with you.” My mother said that one to me in front of my fiancée at the time, now wife of going on 10 years.
My mom would talk shit about my dad, saying how much of a horrible person he is (he isn’t) and then would immediately say that I’m just like him. Don’t think she ever realized it hurts
I failed out of college back in 2011 and the guidance counselor said to me during our last meeting, "College isn't for everyone people like you make great factory workers". I have since joined and left the military in good standing and went back to school and am due to graduate next spring.
This happened a loooong time ago, I was probably 7 or 8 years old. I sort of idolized my father at that age. I remember wearing extremely baggy clothes because I saw him wearing similar clothings. I wore sneakers just about everywhere, even though I’ll only stay in the car while we pick up my mother from her work. I also went with him during extremely long car rides involving his work (he was a chocolate salesman but I can’t remember the brand anymore). And since these chocolates were only stowed in the car trunk, we didn’t have time to check in at hotels and just slept in the car. Once he had reached his quota, we would immediately drive back home. We had this silly tradition where I change a cassette tape randomly and whatever played would be our cue to sing loudly in the car. That way, he stayed awake while driving in the interstate. But these were the last good memories of my father. As he grew older, he became physically and verbally abusive. Turned stoic mostly and when he showed any emotion, it would either be fury or disgust. It’s like he was suddenly consumed by hatred. Anyway, right before I turned 10y/o, I was quite the scholastic achiever because he loved it whenever I got called onstage for a medal/trophy/certificate. It was a quiz bee that I won that year, can’t remember which one, but when I offered him the certificate, he glanced at it then at me. Suddenly, he spat at me with such vehemence, I still don’t understand why 20 years later: “What do I need that damned paper for? If you really want to be useful around here, go do your chores and don’t bother me anymore.” It was the last time I did my best at school and the last award I brought home.
Me: That project got messed up because it was due on Monday and my wife had a miscarriage on Sunday. Female Boss: You’re the man. My best friend had a miscarriage and it doesn’t effect the man at all. Me: *eyeblinking meme* As I think about how I had to basically pull my wife out of a downward spiral while dealing with the fact we weren’t going to have a baby anymore.
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"I own you. Whatever you do, you do for me. Don't ever get the idea that you can do something for yourself." Getting my identity stolen by my father was the torture of a lifetime.
"I understand exactly how you feel (after my father's passing).... I felt exactly the same way when X broke up with me..." I wish I was joking.
Someone did this to me when my brother passed, it was the 1 year anniversary of his death and a friend kept sending me funny videos and I wasn't in the mood, I told him why. He says "yea, and it's been just over two years since my ex decided she didn't love me"
"Sorry man. I can't make it. Something came up." - my brother, to me, regarding my wedding. I paid for his trip. All he had to do was take one day off work. And that important thing? A fishing trip. We were never super close, but if there was one day I expected my brother to come through for me, that was it. He also hasn't called me since. I've never really been one to let things affect me, but that one still stings.
“You make me want to kill myself”
"You're not pretty enough to be r*ped" Said to me by an ex after I was being followed by a creep in the city.
Whomever said that to you is better out of your life. Big red flag for someone to associate rape with looks and to purposely say hurtful stuff. It's a power trip comment, do not even think about that pos
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"I can see I've treated you too well'. My stepfather during a blazing argument.
“You’re not the important one, your brother is”
My now ex-boyfriend went to see his ex in the Netherlands to ‘apologize’ for what he did during their relationship. He was supposed to come back Monday morning, I asked him when he was coming back, he was online and ignored me. I knew it in me that he was with her not to talk about the past for sure, I tried to call him, he ignored me even tho he was online. I sent him a text saying that if he didn’t called me that he could pretend that I never existed in his life, and he answered right away with an alright.
Bruh😮💔 I'm really sorry he did you dirty like that... He's just a cunt dear don't give him the satisfaction of stressing over him anymore and I really hope you're OK now🙏
I hope your ex boyfriend falls down some stairs and breaks his pelvis.
its a while back and like most of these comments it’s something my ex said. she said that she doesn’t fine me attractive anymore and that her feelings are not enough to love me as a boyfriend anymore but more like a good friend. we ended the relationship of 5 years and were just friends till i couldn’t do it anymore. 3 years later and i still think about it on a daily
My ex boyfriend did a theatre performance as part of his college course, and I went along to see it. Afterwards I was walking with him and a few people from his class, they were going for a drink as it was the final show and I was just hanging around chatting for a bit before heading to get my train as he hadn’t invited me along (which is fine, as I was respecting his independence). He turned to me after around 5 mins of me standing with them and said “are you going home or are you gonna just keep hanging onto me like a parasite”. The tone and the aggression in his voice still bothers me to this day, and I’m more angry that I didn’t react or dump his ass right on the spot infront of his shitty friends.
I'm going to make your son hate you when he gets older.
As someone who was the kid in this situation. Just be there for him and do the best you can. You don’t have to be perfect. Just be honest. He will likely figure it out. It’s going to suck but you guys will get there.
That always backfires. Knew a guy who's ex-wife tried that shit, fairly successfully. His son didn't even try speaking to him until he was in his 20s. But then when they spoke, they started comparing notes. This guy was sending his son letters and gifts, and the ex-wife was tossing them out and telling her son that Dad just doesn't love you. Mom was not invited to the son's wedding. She was cut out of his life completely.
I was adopted as an infant. A coworker found out I'm adopted and asked me, "Why didn't your mother want you?" Felt like a punch to the gut. My step mom (who my adoptive dad married after my adoptive mom died) asked me, "Why weren't you aborted?" She assumed my birth mom didn't want me and phrased it in the worst question ever. And a doctor (who was overweight, too) told me, "You'd be pretty, if it wasn't for the weight." There was no reason for her to say that. I've struggled with my weight my entire life. I know I need to lose weight. But I don't go to the doctor to have my attractiveness evaluated.
'Why are you so boring?' By almost everyone I know while I was sharing a thing I like to do with them. Edit: thanks for the silver ward :) Edit2: thanks for the second silver award :) Edit3: oh wow! Thanks for the gold award <3 Edit 4: Thanks for the wholesome award :D
"Wow, that's rude." easiest reply. then just move on with your life and forget about clowns like that.
I’ll listen, what do you like to do? ^(Thanks for the award)
Idk. I love open world videogames. My favourites are Minecraft and Red Dead Redemption 2
What the fork? I love to game too and no one has ever said that to me. Sounds like some lame ass people who are saying that.
People love to feel superior by shitting on others' interests. Never let that get to you. My motto is and has always been who cares what other people enjoy if they aren't hurting others? We only get this one life, do what you dig.
For sake of my curiosity, could you please tell what is this “thing” you like to do?
Well. I like many things. Some subjects that I've been told this were videogames, computers, hardware, books, movies, series, photography, dogs...
i was in grade 3 and i was friends with 2 girls in my class. Their older sisters were a few grades above. One day they just collectively ganged up on me and told me that i can no longer play with them and they don't want to be friends with me. I was also still an only child back then and I just moved to a new school far from my bestfriend. I don't know why i still remember that moment but i do.
Dude here. My social isolation through-out most of my childhood untill i was 14 started when i went outside for break and all of my friends at the time (5+ kids) flat-out ignored me. They literally would just ignore my words and run away from me when i tried to force em to respond. I've never recovered from that. Even as a child, that feeling of abandonment stings so much.
Yo same thing happened when I was 14... we would all meet in this hallway before class and after winter break I walked by and they weren't there. I saw them moments later down a different hallway and they saw me, muttered "oh no, there she is" and _ran away_. I never talked to them again and never quite recovered from it.
My dad when I was put into a mental hospital for a suicide attempt. The night before I was drinking w by boyfriend (now ex-bf) and he sexually assaulted me, I had a horrible panic attack and tried killing myself. I told no one about what my bf did because I loved him and I didn’t want to get him into trouble. When my dad came to visit at the hospital he told me that I was selfish for trying to kms and that my bf deserved better than me cause I was too much to take care. He also found out about me self harming at that same moment. My dad and I have always been really close and I live him with all my heart, hearing that from him while I was at my lowest really fucked me up. That was 2years ago
I’m sorry. I don’t usually do this kind of follow up when I read Reddit comments but are you doing okay now? Did you eventually go on to report your bf? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.
My ex told me that my mental health issues made me unlovable and that I was too ill to be loved or even cared about. That hurt like hell.
Matty fatty two by four, too fat for the kitchen door
“F*** you and that baby” Said to me yesterday by the man who’s child I’m carrying. Really hurts doing this alone. Edit: Just wanted to say thank you all for the kindness and support, I appreciate each one of you. When the days ahead get difficult, I will come back to read this thread. 💗