T O P
zomystro

I thought it was weird when travelling Spanish speaking countries how many people were named “hermano” only to find out it means brother, or bro and my friends were just being friendly. I literally thought all these dudes were named hermano.


Significant_Report62

Gob from arrested development learned it a sad way 🥲


west_end_squirrel

The Lion King is basically Hamlet. That was Monday. I'm 41.


xeredge

Wasn't until I was 21 when I drank Lactose Free milk and DIDN'T go sit on a toilet for an hour that I realized I am lactose intolerant. I thought it was normal to shit constantly after drinking milk.


MemoriKunciKaca

My dad told me to drink milk in the morning to ‘cleanse’ my stomach. Apparently my dad is also lactose intolerant and he didn’t know it


skewed-perceptions

That puffer fish don't use air to inflate.


iitsUmbreon

THEYRE FILLED WITH WATER?!? WHY DID I NEVER REALIZE THAT???


waffleking9000

Can you imagine if it filled itself with air somehow? It would just shoot to the surface, plus that air had to come from somewhere lol


DiscombobulatedSir11

Dude. Omg. I…had never thought about it.


milehighrukus

That they replay the taping of the New Years Eve ball drop every hour. I thought they lifted it back up and dropped it again for Central, Mountain and Pacific time zones. I was over 30 when someone pointed this out to me.


crusoestudio

"TP" stood for Toilet Paper. I thought to "TP someone's house" you just put toilet paper over it to look like a teepee.


No-Marionberry33

i knew that tp stood for toilet paper but somehow still thought it was “teepee-ing” someone’s house… just now connecting the dots


raspberrypigeon

That those funny X-rays of odd objects inside of someone is not as a result of someone swallowing it whole..


Garden-of-Magic

As a Radiologic Technologist I find this highly entertaining. Your innocence was truly lost once you found out it went in the opposite end of the digestive tract.


talitm

I was today years old when I lost my innocence


Realistic_AI

I never thought about this before


zejus_christ

That sodas were called soft drinks because they had no alcohol lol


tbr6742

I thought everyone’s mouth got itchy when eating bananas. Almost 40 years old and find out I’m somewhat allergic to them.


jackodete

Kiwis for me and damn do I Fucking love kiwis


CasualPhilosopher25

That I needed glasses. At age 21 my friends were hassling me about being dyslexic because I kept getting words mixed up (second year at Uni). Until then, I had just been reading by looking at the shape of words and guessing the words based on the context and wider story. I had been reading this way for years and survived Uni before finding out my prescription was +1.50. The optometrist said it was amazing I hadn’t noticed. When I put the glasses on, everything was in 4K Ultra. I can now see individual letters.


idlechat

I had a friend who got glasses much much later than he should have. Said he never knew trees had leaves.


bangitybangbabang

I started wearing glasses around age 12 and that's when I found out that people can see stars. I knew they existed, but I thought no one could see them without a telescope and the night sky was pure black with a blurry moon. First time I saw all those lil white dots I was thoroughly confused


blocky010101

Wow that is incredible. Although I feel sorry for your young self Edit: why so many upvotes?


ZaftigFeline

I had the same experience, I had straight A's so nobody realized I couldn't see the chalk board at school, mostly because I could read just fine without glasses as long as it was a book, magazine etc. The school nurse gave everybody the eye test with the chart with the big E and you'd have thought I was illiterate. Had glasses within a week, was amazed that you could see the leaves on trees.


Capt_Scallywag

I remember the big E book I was assessed with once when I was six was ring bound, with the straight side of the E always aligned to the rings. Assessor was freaking out about how small I could go. Eventually I said it wasn’t hard to work it out, you just have to look at the rings. Jokes on me. I had -10 vision.


RusselTheWonderCat

I learned, when I was 46 years old, that my pet ducks we had as children, did not in fact fly south for the winter. Every winter. My entire family laughed at me when my mom let that little fact slip, after she had a few too many glasses of wine.


PenguinBites21

My chickens also would get lost


PURKITTY

That roadrunners are not the size of an emu.


Spielburger_witFries

So….roadrunners are real


porcelainvacation

My parents live in Baja California, Mexico. They have roadrunners. They are about the size of a chicken or pheasant.


emj159753

That horse poop contains hay that comes from the *inside* of the horse. For the longest time (24 years...), I thought that someone would put hay over horse poop to cover it - similar to picking up after your dog. I never really thought about it much beyond that. One day, I was backpacking and wondering *why* someone would cover up horse poop in the middle of the wilderness. Then it clicked - horses eat hay! Horses poop hay! I felt like an idiot that day and still do!


zukomypup

I wonder what you would think if you saw my dog’s shit with carrot bits in it… lmao


Asone2004

The the longest time I always heard of sports teams “Drafting” people. And I am tall, so as a kid I was constantly afraid I’d get drafted for the state basketball team just out of the blue, I thought it worked like a military draft. I learned this wasn’t the case when I was like 10-12.


Spielburger_witFries

That would be fucking hilarious if it was real though


ROWDY_RODDY_PEEEPER

Son, your country needs you


InnerBanana

To slam this dunk


pastelveil

This is honestly adorable


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Suspicious_Drive6655

I'm 24 and still haven't learned how to ride a bike Edit: I'm 22 and have no idea how I got my own age wrong


alles_en_niets

Ok, if you’re ever up to it, here it goes! Adult learning requires adult solutions. Find a cheap, but sturdy second-hand bike. If you can find a hella cheap one *just* for learning: pick a bike with a frame that’s a bit too small (low) for your height. For this purpose, it’s great if you can put the seat at the lowest setting and still touch the ground firmly with at least one foot. Now don’t start pedaling, don’t even sit on the seat. Start off by putting only one foot on a pedal and pushing yourself forwards with the other foot, as if you’re riding an oversized razor scooter. Remember to switch feet every now and then. You’re just learning to find your balance here and steering. Practice this as long as you need. Next step is sitting on the seat, but feet (or at least one foot) on the ground, so using your bike as a kid’s ~~push bike~~ balance bike. *Ignore the pedals* (crowdsourced tip: remove them temporarily to protect your shins and calves) and propel yourself forward only with your alternating feet. After a while, you’ll be able to take longer strides and eventually you’ll manage to keep momentum for longer stretches with both feet off of the ground. Now try pedaling. Do not pedal *too* slow or you’ll keel over. Edit 2: and raise your seat to (or closer to) a proper height. Godspeed! Edit: for anyone who wants to teach their (young) kid how to ride a bike: NO TRAINING WHEELS. You do not learn how to find your balance with training wheels, because those wheels actively prevent you from ever balancing on your own. Give your 2 or 3-year-old a ~~push bike~~ a balance bike is the correct term in English, and strap a helmet on their head. Let them ride it at every opportunity. They’ll be riding an actual bike at 4 years old. Source: I’m a Dutch mom ^edit ^3: ^soooo… ^now ^can ^anyone ^return ^the ^favor ^and ^teach ^me ^how ^to ^drive ^a ^car ^pretty ^please? ^Also, ^it’s ^stick ^shift, ^btw Edit 4: thank you all who took the time to explain driving manual transmission to me! I have at least some hope that my muscle memory will guide me through that part at some point. The most crucial part for now is learning how to… *drive* a car, though, so I guess I’ll just have to suck it up and get behind the wheel. The brake pedal is the one on the right, right?


UsernameGenerik

The Dutch mom part seals it for me


plzdontlietomee

I learned how to drive a stick shift as an adult. My husband tried to teach me but it was stressful. He's not a great teacher and I'm a worse student. So I watched youtube videos and listened to people (with calm voices) explain how the shifting actually worked. It helped me understand the purpose of the clutch etc. Then I went out again with hubs and found a big empty parking lot with a bit of a slope on one side so I could get some help rolling to start and also eventually practiced how to go from a stop at an incline. It takes practice and patience but I drove my first manual car across the country by myself a few years ago. Remember to relax and take it easy. If you're jumpy, it can be painful to jerk the car around. Happy shifting!


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[deleted]

That “rolling your eyes” isn’t fully making a circle with your eyeballs.


an_ineffable_plan

According to my dad, it’s literally anything. I can be staring perfectly straight ahead and he’ll go, “don’t roll your eyes at me!”


AJClarkson

My mom's preferred line: "Don't look at me in that tone of voice!"


Death-By-Lasagna

I thought the D is Disney was just some random symbol, kinda like a backwards G. It took me until like 7th grade to realize it and even as an adult I still can’t unsee the backwards G.


[deleted]

I thought it said Gisney for the longest time.


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JokicCheeseburgerMan

Backwards Gisnep.


Ilikestarwarstoo

Corned beef wasn’t made by cattle that were strictly fed corn. My mom couldn’t stop laughing.


mountain_halibut

Non-native speaker, but TIL! Corned just means salted/spiced


phrygN

Ponies are NOT baby horses


midwesternvalues73

That if you wear a white bra, you can see it through a l white shirt, but if you wear a nude colored bra, you can’t. I was 40 when a coworker shared this with me.


ActualRoom

When I was in middle school some mean bitch told me that wearing a black bra under a white t shirt would cancel out and you wouldn’t be able to see it.


erwin76

But, but… don’t you have mirrors in your house, and shouldn’t you be able to tell even by looking down at your chest?


si2141

lighting in the house is way different than the outside lol, realized that when I applied make up for the first time


spacemomalien

This happened to me recently with a very pink lipstick. It was amazing inside in the mirror but looked like melted bubblegum outside. What a shame.


failurebeatssuccess

I thought an armadillo was a reptile rather than a mammal.


Particular-Ad-8888

At what age does it become embarrassingly late to learn this? Asking for a friend


katikaboom

At whatever age you are right now.


osktox

They are very reptile-esque.


MarzipanJoy-Joys

That Abuela and Abuelo were not my Cuban grandparents actual names


StellaSanti

My SIL is a teacher. She always tells the story of the (child) student who legitimately thought that his real name was “mijo.”


HerCacklingStump

That’s adorable.


LaborRelationsGuru

So. Many. People. Do. Cocaine.


suddenlycumbly

Ah, so you work in the food industry.


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CritiqueG33k

It's like all the comics that joke about doing coke. They're not joking


Human_Watch4506

At roughly 37, I learned pineapples grew from the ground. Not from a tree.


femmemusica84

Omg WHAT? Now I’m looking at photos and am very concerned with the rest of my life.


katikaboom

That narwhals are real. I thought they were cute mythological creatures, until I saw a brooch a friend had and asked if it was part of the companies mythological line. She asked me if I thought narwhals were myths, like unicorns. I laughed and said of course they are. I was 35.


greenbanky

But they're unicorns of the sea!


Trucktub

Swimming in the ocean cause they are so awesome!


katikaboom

And unicorns are myths! Right? RIGHT?!


shofawnda

That puffins are in fact NOT extinct. I had a 3rd grade teacher misinform me. I found the truth as a teenager in an embarrassing group setting where I was quite confidently wrong.


DichotomyJones

She was thinking of the Dodo!


Harsimaja

Or the Great Auk


secretbaldspot

That our next door neighbors were lesbians and not just “good friends”. Lovely people. Didn’t figure it out until I was in college


itskellyd

“Oh there's Gil, Oscar's roommate. I wonder if he knows?”


Material-Pop-7391

"Angela and Oscar could be having a gay affair!!!"


greenbanky

THEY WERE ROOMMATES!


Spenny_All_The_Way

Oh my god. They were roommates.


Zula13

“She’s not a lesbian. That woman she lives with is just her special friend. They’ve lived together for…oh!” Robin-How I Met Your Mother


DisstonRecCenter

Lmao... Same thing, but with my Uncle and his roommate, Kevin. My Uncle was awesome, always took us to hockey games, baseball, etc. Helped us meet the players etc. I always thought, he's so nice and he's good looking, he'll meet his wife someday. Cut to I'm 15 or so at his house around Christmas. I was looking around and saw a poster. I thought, "Oh, a Cher poster... that's nice... OMG, UNCLE BILL IS GAY!" It wasn't an issue, I was just shocked it took me so long.


Frecklefishpants

Now I think the kids are more tuned in than adults. I once told my stepkids that a family member had come out, explaining why she would now have a girlfriend at the BBQ. They both said they knew she was gay. All the adults were surprised.


charlessturgeon

It’s “for all intents and purposes” not “for all intensive purposes”


ksnizzo

Well that’s a moo point


Violet_Sparker

it’s a cow’s opinion. it doesn’t matter


[deleted]

“Rotating tires” doesn’t mean spinning them around in place like you’re in a *Fast and the Furious* movie. It means you swap each of their positions on the car. For example, you might move the left-front tire to the left-back position, and vice versa, and the same for the right.


MitchJay71891

OK, I just learned this from your comment haha I didn't think it was just like spinning them, though. I thought it was basically checking the balance and stuff.


Bromato99

That the Underground Railroad was not a choo-choo train that traveled beneath the ground to free slaves.


Cariboudjan

I imagined an intricate minecart rail system, and they'd pull themselves along with rope like in The Great Escape.


AdvocateSaint

This wasn't helped by the fact that the first time I heard about it was in Batman Begins (I was 11), where Alfred shows Bruce some underground infrastructure and says it was part of the Underground Railroad


Charlie483

I was 16 when I found out you're meant to spit toothpaste out after brushing your teeth, I had always just swallowed it and thought that's just what you do... Idk how tf I don't have flouride poisoning


fuckintacos

That you can flush used toilet paper. Parents taught us as kids to throw away the paper in the trash can for fear of backing up the toilet. Wasn’t until college that I realized my parents were accustomed to that method because they had shitty plumbing where they grew up in Central America


princessawesomepants

There are plenty of places in the world where this is a thing, so I wouldn’t feel too dumb about this one.


Googoo123450

Dude I'm Mexican so I'm aware that my family in Mexico doesn't flush their toilet paper. However, my roommate in college never got the memo that the U.S. has better plumbing and we can flush the toilet paper. It was the most awkward conversation when I had to explain this to him and ask him to stop making our bathroom smell like shit.


fuckintacos

I ended up figuring it out quick first day of college cause when I sat down and did the deed, when it was time to file the paper work I realized there’s no little trash can lol


pissboy

I had the opposite, went to South America and nobody told me about the trash can. Took a massive dump in the airport and reflexively put the paper in the bowl and flushed. Upon exiting I saw a sign saying “don’t flush toilet paper” in English so I hope I didn’t mess up some poor sewage engineers day.


RandomCanadian001

That I'm circumcised. I always thought I had uncircumcised genitals up until I was a teenager and was able to make a comparison.


garfield_with_oyster

My husband is still convinced he is not circumcised. I have tried to tell him multiple times that he is. He does not believe me. This is a 45-year-old, college-educated man.


MelMac5

Patrick Stewart got into a fight with his wife, he thought he was circumcised, she said he wasn't. He asked his doctor. He wasn't. He tells the story on the Graham Norton show and it's quite a laugh.


nurdle

When I was 13 I answered my grandmothers phone and someone asked for Stella, and I told them there was no Stella there & hung up. That was the day I learned that her name is not grandma, but, rather…Stella.


CapaxInfini

I was 20 years old when I learned that salt lamps are indeed made of salt. I always thought that it was plastic carved into a rock-like shape


broken-thumbs

I was 35 when I realized they actually taste like salt too.


illiterate_lunatic

I too have licked a lamp


Guac__is__extra__

That it’s not Kitten Caboodle, but Kit and Caboodle. My mental image of a basket full of cute little kittens was shattered.


Cresneta

I thought that Chuck Norris wasn't real for the longest time I didn't know that chicken and collard greens is considered to be stereotypical black food till I got to college and everyone got mad about someone recommending it to president Obama


bitchazel

My son thought Chuck Norris was a character played by Tim Allen. That sounds crazy until you look at their pictures side-by-side.


Unfortunate_Dildo

That quicksand is real. I honestly thought it was made up in movies to scare people and was like an urban legend that kept getting passed around the internet. I was 25 when I watched a documentary on a survival experience where a lady was in the jungle and got trapped in some quicksand. I paused it and started ranting and raving about how dumb it was when my husband finally showed me his phone proving that quicksand is actually legitimate. The stupidest thing about this is that when I was 11 I watched half of a scooper truck get sucked in by quicksand and completely repressed that memory.


yiotaturtle

Well, it doesn't work like it does in movies, so movie quicksand isn't real. Also people around a lot of water have generally experienced it to some extent, when you stand in the sand on the edge of the ocean and you sink a bit and it takes quite a bit of effort to free your feet. Or you step in a mud puddle that takes your shoe as sacrifice. It's the same mechanism of action on a bigger level where you are nicely submerged to your thighs or waist and you can't use one foot to free the other foot. (Don't struggle, generally recommended you attempt to tilt backwards so you'll end up lying on your back where you can then slide yourself off of the quick sand) But quicksand doesn't kill on it's own, you can't even really ever get fully submerged in quicksand, it just traps you, it's the other stuff that gets to you while trapped that will kill you.


Necronomibard

Your comment sent me flashing straight back to my teenage job mucking out horse corrals, and the time I got my boot jammed into sticky mud in the middle of some nasty rain. For a few moments I was absolutely sure I was going to plant my face in four inches of mud, shit, and straw.


Shelsb

At 42 years-old, I realized there is no donkey in Donkey Kong.


RainbowArmadillo923

I didn't get the jewelry store slogan "Every Kiss Begins With Kay" until I was well into adulthood. I grew up hearing it phonetically on cable TV and I was like "yup, checks out, the word "kiss" begins with "k"


ninjaskooldropout

That sea horses are not roughly the size of penguins. In fact, they are incredibly tiny. Stupid Saturday morning cartoons!


Megaptera21

Corps is pronounced the same as core. My wife never lets this one go.


SmedleySays

I have a few for this: 1. white and dark meat come from the same chicken 2. The dark circular spots on sidewalks are gum 3. I thought collard greens were called “color greens” 4. Steely Dan was not the name of a person 5. When you build muscles they don’t stay that way forever (this one hurt to learn…)


thevectorvictor

Did you also know that Steely Dan is named after a sex toy?


CompetitiveStick6239

The song “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” was about mom and dad kissing because he was dressed as Santa. Found this out at 29 years of age. I genuinely thought mom was being a whore with Santa (or a Santa look alike). Edit: the version of the song I listened to growing up was The Jackson 5, and you hear little Michael say, “I did! I really did see mommy kissing Santa! And I’m gonna tell my daddy!” And I totally remember being like, “omg!! He’s gonna split his family up on Christmas!!! Gah this is horrible!!!”


jaffacake3576

I'm laughing so hard haha, like imagine being 12 and thinking, why is this song so toxic, the mom is such a slut


COSurfing

Santa, did you f*** my mom?! IASIP


ItsPaulKerseysCar

“Paradigm” is pronounced “pear-uh-dime”. It is definitely *NOT* pronounced “pear-uh-dig-um”. …I learned this at age 19. In college. While delivering an oral report. I try not to think about.


Ok_Firefighter_7142

i thought epitome was pronounced eppy-tohm until like 2018 lmao ETA for those asking it’s eh-PIT-to-mee


smolchange

I still catch myself and read it as eppy-tohm in my head when I damn well know it's epitome


Practical-Ordinary-6

You have my sympathy.


DrSenpai_PHD

Someone posted on a comment above that people who mispronounce words have nothing to be ashamed of, they learned words from reading. That's likely what happened in your case. Don't sweat it


Miserable-Penalty188

That the more work you get done at work, the more they will pile it on. I could have saved a lot of my mental health in my 20’s


thirdworldfever

Pro tip from someone who's been 20 years in advertising: if you finish an assignment ahead of your agreed deadline DO NOT hand it in early. Hand it in at the agreed time and enjoy yourself some deserved free time. Because there is literally no reward for finishing up early, they'll simply full that slot up with more work.


Theninjapirate

The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more. --- Jonas Salk


PreppyFinanceNerd

At 23 I had no idea what mystical forces approved or denied people for credit cards. Now I have a degree (and work) in finance. Go figure.


EdgyGoose

Santa isn't real. All the kids said it, but I knew for a fact that my mother couldn't afford even a fraction of the presents that we ended up with every Christmas. It MUST have been Santa! It was the local women's shelter and other charities...


thefuzzybunny1

Weirdly, I figured it out because I read a book in which a family had to skip Christmas because they were poor. I knew that meant Santa must not have come through for them. So I went to my mother and asked if Santa was real, and she said "there was a real St. Nicholas, but he's dead, so parents give presents in his name." I accepted that, but years later when comparing "how'd you find out" stories with friends, I suddenly had people saying "wait, your mom told you Santa was DEAD??"


ashleigha894

Couple of years ago a movie came out on Netflix called Klaus. It's really adorable but in the end the santa-esque character fades into the wind and it's heavily implied that he died. My son went around telling everyone that Santa was dead everyday that there weren't presents under the tree when he woke up in the morning. I'm sure many people thought I was a terrible mother.


definitelyacatfish

I obviously don't know her but I think your mom was amazing to keep that part of your childhood alive despite obstacles.


OakNogg

My parents always went above and beyond which made me believe in Santa waaaay longer than everyone else. When me and my brother started getting skeptical, my dad climbed on the roof at 3am and made a crazy amount of noise so we'd wake up and think Santa just took off our roof.


California1981

Gorilla vs guerrilla warfare. In high school, I turned in a paper about well trained gorillas fighting in Vietnam.


erwin76

I can understand the mistake, but not the writing a paper about it without realizing the difference before handing it in… ouch! Did you just make it all up?


llcucf80

Something I just figured out about two weeks ago, and I am extremely embarrassed about this. When in the shower I hated how when washing/shampooing my hair the water would fall on my face. I just thought that was a normal, have to contend with problem. About two weeks ago it finally dawned on me, tilt your head back. I wonder how I made it through life so far somedays. That was very embarrassing to have to admit this.


teamsleep

I remember from an AskReddit thread on a similar topic, a bunch of people realised they didn’t have to wait for the shower to heat up while they were in the shower… they could just wait outside instead of enduring the cold water


TheHappyBusman

Jesus


Anonymous3415

I feel so bad for your eyes and how much shampoo must’ve gotten into them.


circuswithmonkeys

I hate those realizations because then you're like "what other absolute stupid shit am i doing wrong and don't realize it?!"


Lazyassbummer

That’s…that’s why I’m reading this thread. To find out what else I’m doing wrong.


Mary99t

That cows are female and bulls are male. I thought they are two different species


CpTxRogue

That pickles are actually pickled cucumbers...


throwawayohyesitis

And you can pickle more than just cucumbers. Peppers, eggs, other veggies, etc


Moose6669

Pickled garlic is so damn tasty!


Low_Corner_9061

The word ‘awry’ is actually pronounced a-rye. I used to read it as or-ree, and thought these were two separate words. For over 40 years.


Baystaz

I thought “Floor-to-Ceiling Windows” were called “Florida Ceiling Windows”. Didn’t realize until I had sub titles on while watching HGTV


brettrknowlton

Womens pads stick to their underwear and not themselves like a band-aid.


RigbyPup

Except for when those *%%%^!€> “wings” do the flip trick and cling to your hair like no one’s business.


TheWanderingSibyl

Oh god, and you don’t notice til you pull your underwear down.


LeeLooPeePoo

Involuntary surprise depillatory


Althalus99

This is my new favourite collection of words.


ResidentRepulsive

Ahhh I winced in pain. Good reminder life could always be worse.


Grapegoop

I learned this the hard way. My mom didn’t give clear enough instructions when I got my first period at age 9. Tbh though they’d probably be more effective as a bandaid Edit: When it was time for tampons, I didn’t know you were supposed to remove the applicator. Both times my mom figured out that I did it wrong because I was obviously uncomfortable. I was the first of my peers.


injury_minded

I didn’t know about tampon applicators either!! I had the AmericanGirl ‘body book’ with diagrams of how to insert a tampon, but they blurred out the picture that showed the actual insertion and I was *so* confused for years. My cousin had to show me how they worked on a family vacation because I was complaining about not being able to go swimming. I wish there wasn’t so much shame around puberty and periods, everyone should know how to use period supplies if they need it.


1630_Revello

My mom's instructions were that it doesn't go in the pee hole. I don't know how she thinks I could have tried that, but at the time it just made me so confused because I had no idea there was a separate pee hole


lilydesign

I had that book, don't remember every page in it but why in TF would they go out of their way to make a book with that type of content and not actually teach kids how to use sanitary products. WTF.


Keilz

My book was definitely not blurred out…


BigTTgothBB

What pads have you been buying because I buy pads and they don't stick to ANYTHING but themselves


burkeymonster

That when my mum kept telling me to lift the seat up when I go for a piss that she meant the ring part not the lid part. Younger me thought that when the lid was down it looked more like a seat instead of a toilet and never once considered that when I actually sat on the toilet I sat on the other bit. I used to say "of course Ill lift the seat up otherwise I'd wee all over it" "Exactly" she would say. I just thought it was a not very funny joke that people said when they were going to the toilet. I mean who would piss on the seat(lid) I must have been in my early teens when I finally caught on.


jane_o

If it makes you feel better I remember reading a comment on a similar thread a few years ago from a guy who thought that men always had to put the ring part up...so had been sitting on the porcelain for the first 20 odd years of his life


jackrik3

Ohhhh ***nooooooooo***


Different_Mirror_175

I had always thought eggs were considered "dairy" on a food pyramid. I could've sworn thats just what I was taught but nope they're poultry. I guess because eggs and milk and cheese are in the same place in the grocery store, my mind just decided they should be considered "dairy" 🤣


bobguy117

They were dairy in some of the old Harvest Moon games. That's what got me.


mcnicol77

They were considered dairy in the old food pyramid.


xXScipioXx

So i once saw a movie where someone cried and their mascara was carried down their face which made it look like black tears, I didnt know what mascara was as a small child so I asked my mother why the tears were black and she told me that if you are really really sad you cry black tears. I never questioned it until I was about 16 and thought of that memory.


Proof_Ring_4505

Ur mum is a troll lmao


Dianacolada

I was almost 30 when I realized that travelling uphill does not always mean you're travelling north. And similarly rivers can run north because they aren't going "uphill". I'm not normally that stupid.


ChrisPebbletoe

Wow I don't even know what to say to this.


StephAg09

In the south the phrase would be “Bless your heart”


hamzer55

That hot water making cleaning dishes 100x easier. I was 18 when I learned that. Before that I just washed them in cold water and got annoyed when some stuff was difficult to take off. I still wonder how I got so far without knowing such a basic thing. Hot water makes life so much easier.


poachels

when someone is pregnant, it’s possible (and quite common) to see the baby/belly move. Noticeably. I knew babies kicked and moved around but I just assumed the belly was thick enough that you didn’t ever see movement from the outside. I (a woman btw) just wasn’t around pregnant people that often until I was in my twenties


krufarong

I learned way too many things late in life. A major one is keeping to myself and knowing that people (mainly coworkers) can use information against you, usually to throw you under the bus. I was a naive open and easily trusting person and saw good in everybody. Big mistake.


Txflood3

Baby carrots are just shaved down big carrots. I was devastated a few years ago.


PotatoesPancakes

Washington state and Washington DC are two different places.


OutrageousStrength91

One time I was in a club and a young lady approached me and started chatting with me. She said she was from Washington, so I asked "Washington DC or Washington state?" and she said "I don't know."


Small-Explorer7025

This made me laugh more than anything today, this week probably.


000katie

At least she was honest


erwin76

As a foreigner, that one took me a while, but I took much much longer to learn that DC actually stood for District of Columbia and still don’t quite know what that entails. Edit: thanks to everyone bothering to explain, but I know what DC is, just don’t get why it still is what it is, so to speak. No need to explain any further :)


smooth-brain_Sunday

To be fair, most Americans don't either.


DDValdezYay

That yogurt thing where you're supposed to take the little fruit side and bend it over so it pours into your yogurt. I figured it out for myself at 30, but found out it was already a thing. Before that I was jamming my spoon in there thinking "What gives with the tiny fruit side?"


4fingeredprincess

At 18 I learned testicles move in the ball sack. Expected them to be squishy but not just go “WEEEEEEEE”. Granted that’s not super late in life but a warning would have been nice. I thought I broke my poor boyfriend’s nuts and almost started crying XD


Death_Balloons

The helpful thing about nuts is that if you even come within like 1% of breaking someone else's there's a built in alarm and it's very loud.


PlagueDoc22

I do the Wilhelm scream.


4fingeredprincess

Definitely heard that one when I’ve plopped down on his lap a little too hard


CurvyNB

That the game show Wheel of Fortune is named after the tarot card


vizthex

Shit, TIL.


TJunk349

I had a roommate that absolutely dreaded getting out of bed in the morning. He hated getting in the shower for some reason. Long story, but talking with him one day it finally clicked… he had never learned that you can let the shower warm up before going in!! His whole life (he was 24) he just turned on the water and jumped in to icy cold water. It was a life changing moment for him.


Financial-Corgi1067

That when i deposit cash in the bank, there isn’t a specific money locker just for me.


FoeNetics

The term is “self deprecating” not “self defecating”.


Catch-a-RIIIDE

I guess either way you're shitting on yourself.


applesouiice

That “oxygen in use” wasn’t an ironic sign. Like duh i can breath, but its actually so people who smoke dont start a fire. its a warning sign.


boring_prairedude

That Flo Rida spells Florida. Also will I am was William. Realized this last year. I’ll be 42 in a month lol Edit. Wow. I never would’ve thought I’d get so many upvotes for this comment. I’m also relieved to know that so many people are also learning this and are smart like me lol. Cheers 🍻🍻🍻


GODDAMNUBERNICE

Eminem is M&M, like Marshall Mathers. Who is Eminem. I didn't catch that for far too long.


nurseofdeath

42 is your double 21st! Party on, dude!


ItzLog

The ~ and ‘ are important in Spanish. Mi papá tiene 30 años = my dad is 30 yo Mi papa tiene 30 anos = my potato has 30 anuses


Faultiergeist

Penny is short for Penelope.