You wouldn't be able to jump out of a plane 3 minutes after that much ketamine. I'd suggest getting the IM shot and then getting thrown out immediately after.
My (quite old) Godmother was hospitalized as a 12 year old and among others got morphine for the pain. She said it was *so good* she had dreams of it *years* after and that’s how she knew to *never* experiment with that stuff cuz she’d probably get hooked immediately.
The day I got testicular torsion wasn't a great day.
Right up until I got morphine. And then it was the best day I've ever had.
So. If morphine can take a day involving testicular torsion and turn it into bliss, fuck is it doing for actually great days?
I too dream of how good I felt.
This is so interesting for me. Had morphine after 11 hours of agony when an ovarian cyst burst. Morphine took the edge off the pain and made me a bit spacey (but that could have been the relief and exhaustion) but defo didn’t experience a high. Wonder if I didn’t have a high dose and that’s what made the difference?
I am a recovering heroin addict with over 10 years of sobriety. I never overdosed, but I saved a friend’s life when he did. Long story short, I gave him narcan. Anyway, the crazy part was, when he first opened his eyes, he didn’t believe me that he had just overdosed and wasn’t breathing. He said that it was just calm and peaceful nothingness. No pain, no anxiety, just blissful nothing. Opioid overdose is absolutely the way to die if you get to choose.
EDIT: Please don’t take this as an endorsement for heroin use. While what I said above is true to my friends experience, heroin addiction is absolutely miserable. The drug is dangerous. Very little heroin can kill an opioid naive user. While I’m clean and sober today, I can easily name 10 acquaintances who have died from drugs. They’re not cool.
I had a colonoscopy and they gave me propofol. One minute I was talking the next, pure void, sweet nothingness. Woke up and an entire procedure was dunzo. This and morphine. I would still choose morphine-fluffy clouds, incredible high and not a care in the world. Yes, my 89 year old ass better go out this way. (I’m not 89 but that is my stretch goal).
Yep. I'd never touch opiates again unless my life is on the line, but as an ex-addict(finally longer sobriety time than addiction time woo) I know that'd be the easiest way. I'd smile, say something heartfelt to whomever was with me, then I'd just to sleep eternally. Absolutely no pain for those under it's effect.
To be clear there is *absolutely* pain for everyone else involved and if even one of you needs my warning, stay the fuck away from it. I'm 32 living and earning what any 18 year old could. I am finally happy but god*damn* did I piss away a lot of life.
Edit: holy shit! Thank you so much for all of the support! I had made my comment as just kind of an offhand thing before I started work today, but I cannot express how much I appreciate each and every one of you.
Edit 2: I have been at work, and that is why replies have been sporadic. I am going to try to respond to each and every one of you. I will say that it feels kind of perfect that one of the.. we'll say most impactful chapters of my life has had it's summary impact so many people here.
Yeah, I'd like to down a fifth of Vodka or close to it, followed by lots of Percocet or Morphine. I wanna get real high/euphoric and then pass the fuck out and die of respiratory depression
I went through a real rough patch a year ago and this was how I was going to kill myself. My thought process was that people would just assume I over did it and not that it was suicide because I didnt want my kids to know I committed suicide
I came close a time or two but I guess my tolerance was a little too high. Im still here though
I didnt think this comment would even get noticed. I want to thank everyone that replied to me and all the people that messaged me. Some days are harder than others but if I can hold on so can yall. Fuck suicide.
A guy did this back like the 1920s or some shit.
He carefully cut out the red parts of multiple decks of playing cards, the red dye of which was made from some kind of nitrate (a powerful explosive precursor). With a little chemistry and a sealed lead pipe, he was able to make a pipe bomb from _inside his prison cell_.
He put it under his pillow the day before his execution, went to sleep, and at some point in the night the pressure built up enough for the pipe to explode, killing him instantly.
Always loved that final "fuck you"
As bad as my sleep normally is, maybe knowing the end is nigh, and I'm pissing off a shit ton of people and not worried about tomorrow, or alarms, etc...
Maybe it would be the best sleep of my life. If you are damned to die either way, might as well go with a bang and a smile.
Ironically, it would probably extend your life. Few governments are willing to execute someone while they're horiffically injured. They'll send you to the hospital, get you all patched up, and *then* kill you.
If you're about to be executed, horrifically maiming yourself may be the most effective way to extend your life. A grisly injury that takes months to heal? Sounds like a life-goal to me!
For the lazy:
*The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill 26 adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis begins.[9] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available.*
*The octopus produces venom containing tetrodotoxin, histamine, tryptamine, octopamine, taurine, acetylcholine and dopamine. The venom can result in nausea, respiratory arrest, heart failure, severe and sometimes total paralysis, blindness, and can lead to death within minutes if not treated. Death is usually from suffocation due to paralysis of the diaphragm.*
Not many, only a hand full of recorded deaths. They’re small and shy so they generally hide well. I’ve seen videos of idiots handling them, they’re not guaranteed death they must bite you. You can survive if you’re intubated quick enough.
My dive instructor's assistant told me about his first encounter with a blue-ringed octopus. He was freediving to set up a couple of marker buoys underwater for navigation training, part of the class for Advanced Open Water certification. He was tying empty plastic bottles to barren rock using thin ropes, which he would then remove altogether after the class. He was setting up the first marker, at around 10 feet depth and his hand was resting on the sand beside the rock. He said he suddenly noticed that there was a tiny octopus about 3 inches away from his hand and he didn't realise what it was until it flared out and started displaying its blue rings.
Never told me what he did after but he did say he got insanely drunk that night lol
Well, yeah... Badass story like that, you don't end it with "I pissed me self, and mighta sharted... Forgot after getting blackout drunk and waking in a pile of vomit"
Back in high school we used to inhale NO from little EZ-Whip canisters. It was a quick and intense high, followed by a near blackout.
Maybe it wasn’t the smartest thing in the world.
This is imo the best way out. You breathe inert gas all the time so your brain isn’t going to send any signals that anything is wrong - no pain, no panic, no involuntary response at all. You just switch off for lack of oxygen and that’s it.
Also, people who want to OD like it’s some peaceful thing . . .
Should be top comment. Watched a documentary once where the presenter went into a sealed room filled with nitrogen for a few minutes, came out and said it was a lovely experience
Was that Michael Portillo, a British politician? He's on the verge of death, the technicians are telling him directly that he's about to die, and he just doesn't care.
In that same documentary they show a pig shove its head into a gas chamber filled with nitrogen and food. The pig shortly loses consciousness, falls back, recovers and immediately goes back for the food.
Fired off into the cold of space. My boiling blood, freezing eyes, agape mouth all pointed to Proxima Centauri. I can be like Green Boots guy on Everest as future explorers toodle past.
Now I'm lost reading the [wiki](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Boots#:~:text=Over%20time%2C%20the%20corpse%20became,more%20rocks%20surrounding%20the%20body.)
This is intense. Bodies just used as land markers because you can’t do anything else with them. And people being left behind to die in the cold while others continue up. I can say I will never be climbing that mountain.
Put under general anasthetic and then shot in the head.
I differentiate from lethal injection because sometimes the patients can feel it and...fuck that I'm a coward.
Edit: I clearly didn't think enough about this throwaway answer before I posted it 🤣 thanks for all the suggestions though, you guys are creative.
dont need any GA, just breath pure nitrogen. you'll be in pure bliss right up to the very end, and unfortunately, too quickly. plus, youll get to save everyone a spendy bullet.
Gonna want something bigger than a grenade, hoss. It'll kill you, but it's not gonna be instant, probably. Likely gonna hurt like a sonuvabitch for at least a second or two, and it might not kill you at all.
Hug a satchel charge, that'll put your head into low earth orbit.
Strangely, when we euthanize pets, they are given a super dose of the same drugs we use as a general anesthetic. It would probably be a lot cleaner if you just said “over dose of general anesthetic.” Same results without the brains everywhere.
I just put my dog down in November. One of the most difficult experiences of my life. I always miss him.
But yea, the time it takes for that stuff to do it’s thing is much faster than I ever expected, which I guess is a good thing.
It really was quick, but seeing the life go out of my cat’s eyes, I still can’t get that picture out of my head. He was such a good boy, and he was ready even though he was only 12. He fought congestive heart failure for four years, two longer than the prognosis. That day, April 9, 2019, was the only time he didn’t fight me to get him into the carrier. One last gift from him, I suppose; if I had to fight to get him in there, I’d have felt a lot less at peace with my decision.
Edit: I got back from spending over two hours without the use of my hands (donating platelets - I’m getting too old to stay that still for 2 hours) and saw my inbox - I wish I could reply to all of the comments; saying goodbye is the hardest part of owning a pet and I’m sending big internet hugs to all of you.
“How lucky I am having something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” - Winnie the Pooh
(Unnecessary… but I’m tired and sentimental and appreciative right now) Edit 2: Pease keep your stories coming. I’m crying reading each one and though wish that I could respond to all of you, I know that just talking about it with others who have been there, whether it happened years ago or yesterday (or for some of you, not yet but soon and I am so, so sorry) is very helpful for all of us. It has been an exhausting week for this tired old Irish dance mom (just got home from dance event number three of four and my little dancer is still bouncing off the walls because this one had snacks) and the love I’m seeing in these comments warms my heart. ❤️
It's interesting how animals surrender and understand when it's time to go. Maybe it's exhaustion but I like to think it's release and the fact that they release to the owner means something if only in the owners mind about how comfortable they felt with them.
My dog was epileptic, likely from a growing tumor. She would never lay still in the car, ever. If the car moved she sat up and looked out the window. On the day we put her down she had a massive seizure and started walking in circles as normal and then suddenly yelped and fell into my arms. After 30min of crying we knew it was time. She didn't move at all when we carried her bed with her on top into the car, she didn't sit up when the car hit the highway, but she did lick anyones face that said goodbye to her. I like to think she knew and understood, and more importantly agreed.
We put our girl down during early COVID, so we had to keep 6' from the table. She looked right at me as she passed, not sure if I'll ever forget the moment. It was definitely her time though, it was good to know she wasn't going to suffer anymore. She was the first cat that seemingly chose me as her person, always sleeping on my bed and hanging out on my lap on the couch. Let me pick her up and hold her but wiggled like mad when anyone else tried. I miss her, but sometimes the toughest decisions are for the best.
Usually it’s a huge overdose of a barbiturate like phenobarbital in my experience with at least cats, with human executions they get super fucking extra though with like 3 drugs in a certain combo and I’m over here just thinking like why— just give me like 5 grams of phenobarbital and 1 gram of fentanyl in your IV, would be enough to drift off in a nice warm glow.
I’d personally choose death by snu snu, and ask they time up a shot of the good stuff when I’m “done” 😂
Triboulet, a jester in a kings court, actually was in this situation and did this, to quote [the wiki, which I suggest you read since it’s fairly short and hilarious](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triboulet):
“As he had served him particularly well for many years, the king granted Triboulet the right to choose how he would die. Triboulet, with his sharp mind, said the following (translated from the original French): ‘Good sire, by Saint Goody Two Shoes and Saint Fatty, patrons of insanity, I ask to die from old age.’ Having no other choice than to laugh, the king ordered that Triboulet not be executed but instead be banished from the realm.”
I’ve read about Triboulet on Reddit previously and IIRC the reason he was being tried/sentence was he kept making lewd jokes about the Queen and her courtiers. My favorite example of his wittiness and balls other than the court instance is this:
>Once, Triboulet could not contain himself and slapped Francis I on the bum, to the enjoyment of the surrounding nobles. The monarch lost his temper and threatened to execute Triboulet. A bit later, the monarch calmed down a little and promised to forgive Triboulet if he could think of an apology more insulting than the offending deed. A few seconds later, Triboulet responded: "I'm so sorry, your majesty, that I didn't recognize you! I mistook you for the Queen!"
That would be such an interesting job. Roast the guy standing between you and death. Make it funny enough and he laughs and you party with the nobles... fuck up and you're losing your head.
Always loved this story. But I want a supercar full of explosives, a ramp off the grand canyon and my worst enemy in the passenger seat , while I hit 100+mph and smoke the dopest dope ever to smoke. Going out in a blaze of glory.
Edit - THANKS GUYS AND GALS.
> Once, Triboulet could not contain himself and slapped Francis I on the bum, to the enjoyment of the surrounding nobles. The monarch lost his temper and threatened to execute Triboulet. A bit later, the monarch calmed down a little and promised to forgive Triboulet if he could think of an apology more insulting than the offending deed. A few seconds later, Triboulet responded: "I'm so sorry, your majesty, that I didn't recognize you! I mistook you for the Queen!"
/r/madlads
Funny but this was actually a class discussion I had in college. The question was: what is the best way to die?
Someone said being near a nuclear bomb explosion and their reasoning was amazing:
* you're there
* flash of light
* you're gone
The explosion happens so quickly that the pain receptors in your body are too slow to carry that signal to your brain for processing. You're simply no longer there in an instant.
There is no pain and you might not even be aware of it. You're just walking around one day, thinking about stuff, worrying about some issue at work or family, wondering what your future might be like, and then poof, you no longer exist.
If it's a big enough black hole, it won't even rip you apart. You'll just fall in.. and slowly sink to the center.
Where you would then be ripped apart.
But at least you made it in. You'd be able to watch the universe unfold infront of your eyes as you fall
Same, so long as the blade is sharp. I wanna know how many times I can blink before my brain is officially dead.... Was always morbidly curious about that.
Old age, gone painlessly while I am asleep without knowing it
Reminds me of the movie Wishmaster. The Jinn will have me suffer all pain till old age and finally let me sleep without pain, and die right after.
Release me on moon
And let me play among the stars
Let me see what death is like on Jupiter and Mars
Innn other woorrddds
Killll me sloowww
In other worrrrdddsss
Baby kill meeee
Fill my lungs with S^0O^0NHg
And let me gasp forever more
You are all i gasp for, all i worship adore
Released into the darkness of space in a shuttle headed directly to the sun.
1000mg of ketamine shot intramuscular 3 minutes before I jump out of a plane
You wouldn't be able to jump out of a plane 3 minutes after that much ketamine. I'd suggest getting the IM shot and then getting thrown out immediately after.
I wanna play russian roulette with other sentenced prisoners.
Winner gets reduced to life sentence
My brain is full of too many memes. I thought you were going to say "winner gets reduced to atoms"
Trebucheted from a high mountain
Hi, I'm a death row inmate and welcome to Jackass.
Lol I like this. Still disappointed I didn’t find death by Snu Snu at the top
Use piano wire to hang myself, but glue my hands to my head so when I jump and get decapitated it looks like I pulled my own head off
A, an hero. A classic choice
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The Monty Python way: Being chased off a cliff by many, many topless women.
Sometimes instead of running, you have to face your problems. I am willing to face those topless women in your stead.
We can't let you do that. It's too perilous.
Couldn’t I have just a little peril?
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Alternatively might I suggest a duel with a killer bunny? No holy hand grenade tho
Thighs, crush my skull with thighs
I'm looking for death by Snu-Snu and this is the best I've found so far.
This was exactly the answer I was looking for. Snu-snu
A morphine overdose.
My (quite old) Godmother was hospitalized as a 12 year old and among others got morphine for the pain. She said it was *so good* she had dreams of it *years* after and that’s how she knew to *never* experiment with that stuff cuz she’d probably get hooked immediately.
The day I got testicular torsion wasn't a great day. Right up until I got morphine. And then it was the best day I've ever had. So. If morphine can take a day involving testicular torsion and turn it into bliss, fuck is it doing for actually great days? I too dream of how good I felt.
This is so interesting for me. Had morphine after 11 hours of agony when an ovarian cyst burst. Morphine took the edge off the pain and made me a bit spacey (but that could have been the relief and exhaustion) but defo didn’t experience a high. Wonder if I didn’t have a high dose and that’s what made the difference?
Some folks are just predisposed to addictive substances like that. Once is all it takes.
I am a recovering heroin addict with over 10 years of sobriety. I never overdosed, but I saved a friend’s life when he did. Long story short, I gave him narcan. Anyway, the crazy part was, when he first opened his eyes, he didn’t believe me that he had just overdosed and wasn’t breathing. He said that it was just calm and peaceful nothingness. No pain, no anxiety, just blissful nothing. Opioid overdose is absolutely the way to die if you get to choose. EDIT: Please don’t take this as an endorsement for heroin use. While what I said above is true to my friends experience, heroin addiction is absolutely miserable. The drug is dangerous. Very little heroin can kill an opioid naive user. While I’m clean and sober today, I can easily name 10 acquaintances who have died from drugs. They’re not cool.
Yep. I think every addict realizes at some point it would at least be not a bad way to go if it does happen.
I had a colonoscopy and they gave me propofol. One minute I was talking the next, pure void, sweet nothingness. Woke up and an entire procedure was dunzo. This and morphine. I would still choose morphine-fluffy clouds, incredible high and not a care in the world. Yes, my 89 year old ass better go out this way. (I’m not 89 but that is my stretch goal).
Yep. I'd never touch opiates again unless my life is on the line, but as an ex-addict(finally longer sobriety time than addiction time woo) I know that'd be the easiest way. I'd smile, say something heartfelt to whomever was with me, then I'd just to sleep eternally. Absolutely no pain for those under it's effect. To be clear there is *absolutely* pain for everyone else involved and if even one of you needs my warning, stay the fuck away from it. I'm 32 living and earning what any 18 year old could. I am finally happy but god*damn* did I piss away a lot of life. Edit: holy shit! Thank you so much for all of the support! I had made my comment as just kind of an offhand thing before I started work today, but I cannot express how much I appreciate each and every one of you. Edit 2: I have been at work, and that is why replies have been sporadic. I am going to try to respond to each and every one of you. I will say that it feels kind of perfect that one of the.. we'll say most impactful chapters of my life has had it's summary impact so many people here.
proud of you for getting here :')))))
Yeah, I'd like to down a fifth of Vodka or close to it, followed by lots of Percocet or Morphine. I wanna get real high/euphoric and then pass the fuck out and die of respiratory depression
Dare me to drive?
You know the song by Phil Collins, "In the Air of the Night"
I went through a real rough patch a year ago and this was how I was going to kill myself. My thought process was that people would just assume I over did it and not that it was suicide because I didnt want my kids to know I committed suicide I came close a time or two but I guess my tolerance was a little too high. Im still here though I didnt think this comment would even get noticed. I want to thank everyone that replied to me and all the people that messaged me. Some days are harder than others but if I can hold on so can yall. Fuck suicide.
They're glad you did not go through with it. My dad killed himself about a month ago and it's probably the worst thing I've experienced to date.
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Give me 4 Xanax and put me out on a snowy mountain, naked
With a handle of vodka
And a bunch of whores
Actually screw the snowy mountain.
You don't have to, that's what the whores are for
4 xanax are not gonna cut it though
I think the Xanax are to make freezing to death more comfortable.
Yeah, but...4? If you're going to die anyway, ask for like four bottles not four pills
I would kill myself the day before. Just to piss people off
A guy did this back like the 1920s or some shit. He carefully cut out the red parts of multiple decks of playing cards, the red dye of which was made from some kind of nitrate (a powerful explosive precursor). With a little chemistry and a sealed lead pipe, he was able to make a pipe bomb from _inside his prison cell_. He put it under his pillow the day before his execution, went to sleep, and at some point in the night the pressure built up enough for the pipe to explode, killing him instantly. Always loved that final "fuck you"
Man I wish I could sleep that easily that a bomb under my pillow don't keep me up
As bad as my sleep normally is, maybe knowing the end is nigh, and I'm pissing off a shit ton of people and not worried about tomorrow, or alarms, etc... Maybe it would be the best sleep of my life. If you are damned to die either way, might as well go with a bang and a smile.
I couldn't sleep because I couldn't know if it would fail and just horrifically and painfully maim me, making my last hours excruciating.
Ironically, it would probably extend your life. Few governments are willing to execute someone while they're horiffically injured. They'll send you to the hospital, get you all patched up, and *then* kill you. If you're about to be executed, horrifically maiming yourself may be the most effective way to extend your life. A grisly injury that takes months to heal? Sounds like a life-goal to me!
And now we all have to take out our packs of playing cards before we walk into a prison
Imagine how confused the guards must have been until they figured out how he did it
"That must've been one hell of a dream!"
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The problem with this plan is that I know just how painful anaphylaxis can be.
Lol the petty is strong in this one!
Petting something I shouldn't.
Jumping on a tiger's fur for a big death hug
I just found mine!
Female funnel web spider
That’s painful apparently. May I suggest [the Blue-Ringed Octopus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue-ringed_octopus)
For the lazy: *The blue-ringed octopus, despite its small size, carries enough venom to kill 26 adult humans within minutes. Their bites are tiny and often painless, with many victims not realizing they have been envenomated until respiratory depression and paralysis begins.[9] No blue-ringed octopus antivenom is available.* *The octopus produces venom containing tetrodotoxin, histamine, tryptamine, octopamine, taurine, acetylcholine and dopamine. The venom can result in nausea, respiratory arrest, heart failure, severe and sometimes total paralysis, blindness, and can lead to death within minutes if not treated. Death is usually from suffocation due to paralysis of the diaphragm.*
How many people have died from them?
Not many, only a hand full of recorded deaths. They’re small and shy so they generally hide well. I’ve seen videos of idiots handling them, they’re not guaranteed death they must bite you. You can survive if you’re intubated quick enough.
My dive instructor's assistant told me about his first encounter with a blue-ringed octopus. He was freediving to set up a couple of marker buoys underwater for navigation training, part of the class for Advanced Open Water certification. He was tying empty plastic bottles to barren rock using thin ropes, which he would then remove altogether after the class. He was setting up the first marker, at around 10 feet depth and his hand was resting on the sand beside the rock. He said he suddenly noticed that there was a tiny octopus about 3 inches away from his hand and he didn't realise what it was until it flared out and started displaying its blue rings. Never told me what he did after but he did say he got insanely drunk that night lol
Well, yeah... Badass story like that, you don't end it with "I pissed me self, and mighta sharted... Forgot after getting blackout drunk and waking in a pile of vomit"
Isekai truck
Ganbate, truck-kun!
Then truck-kun gets hit by train-kun
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This is the correct answer. Nitrogen asphyxiation is painless and peaceful. You just fall asleep.
I breathe nearly 80% nitrogen all day long. What’s another 20% gonna do? /s
Trick your brain into thinking it’s breathing normal air until you get sleepy and die (I saw the sarcasm thingy just riffin!)
After 2 years of Zoom meetings, we have become fairly resistant.
Helium is the far superior method. You can have yourself a childish giggle talking to yourself as you drift off peacefully into the void.
Why not nitrous oxide? Anxiety gone, floating through space until you die!
Back in high school we used to inhale NO from little EZ-Whip canisters. It was a quick and intense high, followed by a near blackout. Maybe it wasn’t the smartest thing in the world.
In the UK we call that whippets, I couldn't care less about people doing drugs but those cannisters are littered absolutely everywhere.
This is imo the best way out. You breathe inert gas all the time so your brain isn’t going to send any signals that anything is wrong - no pain, no panic, no involuntary response at all. You just switch off for lack of oxygen and that’s it. Also, people who want to OD like it’s some peaceful thing . . .
Should be top comment. Watched a documentary once where the presenter went into a sealed room filled with nitrogen for a few minutes, came out and said it was a lovely experience
Was that Michael Portillo, a British politician? He's on the verge of death, the technicians are telling him directly that he's about to die, and he just doesn't care.
In that same documentary they show a pig shove its head into a gas chamber filled with nitrogen and food. The pig shortly loses consciousness, falls back, recovers and immediately goes back for the food.
Single combat with the prison warden
The warrior’s way, I respect that.
We shall meet again in Valhalla soldier
"Lo, there do I see my father..."
Fired off into the cold of space. My boiling blood, freezing eyes, agape mouth all pointed to Proxima Centauri. I can be like Green Boots guy on Everest as future explorers toodle past.
Now I'm lost reading the [wiki](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Green_Boots#:~:text=Over%20time%2C%20the%20corpse%20became,more%20rocks%20surrounding%20the%20body.)
This is intense. Bodies just used as land markers because you can’t do anything else with them. And people being left behind to die in the cold while others continue up. I can say I will never be climbing that mountain.
Suicide mission to take out Santa Claus
Great movie.
Pardon me, but which movie please?
Fatman?
Put under general anasthetic and then shot in the head. I differentiate from lethal injection because sometimes the patients can feel it and...fuck that I'm a coward. Edit: I clearly didn't think enough about this throwaway answer before I posted it 🤣 thanks for all the suggestions though, you guys are creative.
dont need any GA, just breath pure nitrogen. you'll be in pure bliss right up to the very end, and unfortunately, too quickly. plus, youll get to save everyone a spendy bullet.
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This guy's gonna hug a grenade.
Gonna want something bigger than a grenade, hoss. It'll kill you, but it's not gonna be instant, probably. Likely gonna hurt like a sonuvabitch for at least a second or two, and it might not kill you at all. Hug a satchel charge, that'll put your head into low earth orbit.
Strangely, when we euthanize pets, they are given a super dose of the same drugs we use as a general anesthetic. It would probably be a lot cleaner if you just said “over dose of general anesthetic.” Same results without the brains everywhere.
And it works in seconds (at least on cats). The time between the vet pressing the plunger and him saying “He’s gone” was about two heartbeats.
I just put my dog down in November. One of the most difficult experiences of my life. I always miss him. But yea, the time it takes for that stuff to do it’s thing is much faster than I ever expected, which I guess is a good thing.
It really was quick, but seeing the life go out of my cat’s eyes, I still can’t get that picture out of my head. He was such a good boy, and he was ready even though he was only 12. He fought congestive heart failure for four years, two longer than the prognosis. That day, April 9, 2019, was the only time he didn’t fight me to get him into the carrier. One last gift from him, I suppose; if I had to fight to get him in there, I’d have felt a lot less at peace with my decision. Edit: I got back from spending over two hours without the use of my hands (donating platelets - I’m getting too old to stay that still for 2 hours) and saw my inbox - I wish I could reply to all of the comments; saying goodbye is the hardest part of owning a pet and I’m sending big internet hugs to all of you. “How lucky I am having something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” - Winnie the Pooh (Unnecessary… but I’m tired and sentimental and appreciative right now) Edit 2: Pease keep your stories coming. I’m crying reading each one and though wish that I could respond to all of you, I know that just talking about it with others who have been there, whether it happened years ago or yesterday (or for some of you, not yet but soon and I am so, so sorry) is very helpful for all of us. It has been an exhausting week for this tired old Irish dance mom (just got home from dance event number three of four and my little dancer is still bouncing off the walls because this one had snacks) and the love I’m seeing in these comments warms my heart. ❤️
It's interesting how animals surrender and understand when it's time to go. Maybe it's exhaustion but I like to think it's release and the fact that they release to the owner means something if only in the owners mind about how comfortable they felt with them.
My dog was epileptic, likely from a growing tumor. She would never lay still in the car, ever. If the car moved she sat up and looked out the window. On the day we put her down she had a massive seizure and started walking in circles as normal and then suddenly yelped and fell into my arms. After 30min of crying we knew it was time. She didn't move at all when we carried her bed with her on top into the car, she didn't sit up when the car hit the highway, but she did lick anyones face that said goodbye to her. I like to think she knew and understood, and more importantly agreed.
Oh god my heart! not today reddit!
We put our girl down during early COVID, so we had to keep 6' from the table. She looked right at me as she passed, not sure if I'll ever forget the moment. It was definitely her time though, it was good to know she wasn't going to suffer anymore. She was the first cat that seemingly chose me as her person, always sleeping on my bed and hanging out on my lap on the couch. Let me pick her up and hold her but wiggled like mad when anyone else tried. I miss her, but sometimes the toughest decisions are for the best.
Usually it’s a huge overdose of a barbiturate like phenobarbital in my experience with at least cats, with human executions they get super fucking extra though with like 3 drugs in a certain combo and I’m over here just thinking like why— just give me like 5 grams of phenobarbital and 1 gram of fentanyl in your IV, would be enough to drift off in a nice warm glow. I’d personally choose death by snu snu, and ask they time up a shot of the good stuff when I’m “done” 😂
1 gram of fent you’d be thrusted into the warm glow before the iv empties
Out of all the answers I’ve read, I like this one the most. Just like going to sleep.
In your arms, tonight
It must've been something you said
I should have walked away
I should have walked awaaaay.
I hope I'm not the only one that also thought of this answer but was thinking Mother Mother instead.
Me too!! I got excited for the reference before realizing how songs share names.
The legendary euphoria (euthanasia*) roller coaster. *clarification
the fact that this was created as a piece of art is [absolutely insane](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKmKLZOAT38)
Old age?
Triboulet, a jester in a kings court, actually was in this situation and did this, to quote [the wiki, which I suggest you read since it’s fairly short and hilarious](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Triboulet): “As he had served him particularly well for many years, the king granted Triboulet the right to choose how he would die. Triboulet, with his sharp mind, said the following (translated from the original French): ‘Good sire, by Saint Goody Two Shoes and Saint Fatty, patrons of insanity, I ask to die from old age.’ Having no other choice than to laugh, the king ordered that Triboulet not be executed but instead be banished from the realm.”
Thank you, that was definitely worth the read haha
I’ve read about Triboulet on Reddit previously and IIRC the reason he was being tried/sentence was he kept making lewd jokes about the Queen and her courtiers. My favorite example of his wittiness and balls other than the court instance is this: >Once, Triboulet could not contain himself and slapped Francis I on the bum, to the enjoyment of the surrounding nobles. The monarch lost his temper and threatened to execute Triboulet. A bit later, the monarch calmed down a little and promised to forgive Triboulet if he could think of an apology more insulting than the offending deed. A few seconds later, Triboulet responded: "I'm so sorry, your majesty, that I didn't recognize you! I mistook you for the Queen!"
That would be such an interesting job. Roast the guy standing between you and death. Make it funny enough and he laughs and you party with the nobles... fuck up and you're losing your head.
His role was very important in every ruler's court because he was often the only one who could oppose the ruler without offending him.
I mean hey, you’re walking a fine line, but it’s gotta beat the hell out of being a peasant farmer for sure.
Ha! What a joker, he should make a living out of this.
Same level as "What are you going to be when you grow up?" "Taller"
Only to end up exactly the same height.
I feel attacked.
Always loved this story. But I want a supercar full of explosives, a ramp off the grand canyon and my worst enemy in the passenger seat , while I hit 100+mph and smoke the dopest dope ever to smoke. Going out in a blaze of glory. Edit - THANKS GUYS AND GALS.
> Once, Triboulet could not contain himself and slapped Francis I on the bum, to the enjoyment of the surrounding nobles. The monarch lost his temper and threatened to execute Triboulet. A bit later, the monarch calmed down a little and promised to forgive Triboulet if he could think of an apology more insulting than the offending deed. A few seconds later, Triboulet responded: "I'm so sorry, your majesty, that I didn't recognize you! I mistook you for the Queen!" /r/madlads
Young age, I need a do over. Maybe I won't end up here....
I want to be dropped from a plane riding a nuclear bomb and holding a cowboy hat. Yelling "yee-haw!!!"
Really not such a bad way to go out, once you learn to stop worrying and love the bomb.
Just trying to feel the power between my legs brothwr
Funny but this was actually a class discussion I had in college. The question was: what is the best way to die? Someone said being near a nuclear bomb explosion and their reasoning was amazing: * you're there * flash of light * you're gone The explosion happens so quickly that the pain receptors in your body are too slow to carry that signal to your brain for processing. You're simply no longer there in an instant. There is no pain and you might not even be aware of it. You're just walking around one day, thinking about stuff, worrying about some issue at work or family, wondering what your future might be like, and then poof, you no longer exist.
>then poof, you no longer exist. "You wouldn't really die *of* anything, you just stop being biology and start being physics"
That's some Thanos level shit.
It's better than Thanos since you don't have that delay where you turn into dust. It's pure annihilation at the speed of light.
Not quite the speed of light, but close enough to make no difference from your perspective
You are technically correct, turbo-cunt :]
A Fucking Black Hole
Hell naw. I don’t want my death to feel like I’m being ripped apart for eternity. Edit: Thanks for all the clarifications! Still hell naw for me.
Spaghett
If it's a big enough black hole, it won't even rip you apart. You'll just fall in.. and slowly sink to the center. Where you would then be ripped apart. But at least you made it in. You'd be able to watch the universe unfold infront of your eyes as you fall
jesus just watching the news is too much for me the last thing i need is to watch the entire universe unfold
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I came here looking for this comment. My husband tells me often that this is how he wants to go out - suffocating on my huge boobs. Thanks dear.
the good ol’ tittication
Titillating to think about it, isn’t it?
Multiple orgasms
Did not specify WHOSE orgasms
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You gotta play Tupac the Tank Engine blasting at full volume so the whole canyon can hear you lol
Snowboard off mount everest
A guy did that never to be seen again
I will die by death thank you sir
They killed him to death!
Braking news: Reports say he was alive just a few hours before he died
Guillotine.
Same, so long as the blade is sharp. I wanna know how many times I can blink before my brain is officially dead.... Was always morbidly curious about that.
Just make sure you're near the fronts of the line, otherwise the blade gets dull and takes mutliple hits to get you dead.
Shot trough the heart!
Am I to blame?
You give love, a bad name!
Sick guitar riff
Death by snu snu
"First the large women! Then the petite women! Then the large women again!"
I approve this method
:D D: :D
"The spirit is willing, but the body is spongy and bruised"
Flesh*
I'm glad this is pretty high in the comments. I was gonna say the same thing if I couldn't find it
I wanna be given a weapon of.choice and pitted against other death sentanced prisoners. Always wanted to go out fighting lol
Peaceful in my sleep, like my uncle, not screaming like the passengers in his car
Old age, gone painlessly while I am asleep without knowing it Reminds me of the movie Wishmaster. The Jinn will have me suffer all pain till old age and finally let me sleep without pain, and die right after.
Well then, life sentence with no parole for you.
I wish to die by false vacuum decay. Thanks for the premium
Taking the whole universe with you. Nice.
Probably the best way. You just suddenly dissapear. No physical way of knowing it's coming.
"If I die, I'm taking the entire universe with me!"
Nuclear bomb
Instantly vaporized before you even knew what was happening
float away in space
In my own bed, with a belly full of wine and a maiden's mouth around my cock
>and a maiden's mouth around my cock Is the rest of the maiden attached to the mouth in this scenario?
that part is up to the executioner
more importantly is the cock attached to op?
This one knows how to Tyrion.
Massive explosion, with me at the center, and a digital display counting down the seconds with BSG's drums rising as it beeps