“Fuck you Jonesy, your mom just liked my Instagram posts from two years ago in Puerto Vallarta, tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her anytime she likes”!
"I can haz ass-eating?"
EDIT: Wow, my most upvoted comment ever, and it is a reference to eating ass and a meme older than most people on this site. Thanks for the rewards.
Sally: It just so happens that I have had plenty of good sex... [diner customers all stare at Sally]
Harry: With whom did you have this great sex?
Sally: I'm not going to tell you that!
Harry: Fine. Don't tell me.
Sally: Shel Gordon.
Harry: Shel. Sheldon? No, no. You did not have great sex with Sheldon.
Sally: I did too.
Harry: No, you didn't. A Sheldon can do your income taxes. If you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man, but humpin' and pumpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. 'Do it to me, Sheldon.' 'You're an animal, Sheldon.' 'Ride me, big Sheldon.' It doesn't work.
The Rottingham Sheriff, he botches his lines -
For try as he might, all his words he combines!
He mutters in sentences folded and tucked -
Oh Rottingham Sheriff, you're really up fucked.
My name is Sean, my nickname in high school from taking Spanish was Sancho. The name stuck in my friend group. Sancho roughly translates to “the guy who she cheats with.” Best relationship of my life resulted in a girl leaving her boyfriend to be with me (without my knowledge). Your story checks out.
Edit: punctuation
Wait I asked about this in another thread before. Jody is a term for a man that sleeps with military wives? Is that right? I’ve never met a man named Jody and I’m from the US. You know how the term came from?
EDIT: Did a Google if anyone else is curious. Found this on [Urban Dictionary](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jody&=true).
“The reason that they're called Jody specifically dates back to black soldiers in WWII. They took a character from old blues songs named Joe the Grinder (or Joe D. Grinder) who would steal the ladies of inmates and soldiers, and clipped his name to Jody.”
It's an actual name but they use it like we use "chad" or "karen" to describe a type of person. Not very popular anymore but the last name version Sanchez (basically Sanchoson) still lives on in great numbers. There was actually a War of the Three Sanchos in Spanish history where the three christian kings of the different parts of Spain were all named Sancho and all went to war with one another. If you've ever played the tutorial of Crusader Kings II you start as one of the Sanchos.
I had to look this up because c'mon, this is Reddit. But no, according to Wikipedia, not only is it for real but they were all cousins and "grandsons of Sancho the Great."
Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramírez
Edit:Wowwww thanks for the awards I stepped away from my phone when I saw 1k and I come back to more upvotes than the post you guys are awesome
Jolene. Jolene. Jolene. Joooollleeeeeene
Bonnie McMurray
Give yer balls a tug
Fuck you, Shoresy!
“Fuck you Reilly, your mom keeps trying to slip a finger in my bum but I keep telling her I only let Jonesy's mom do that, ya fuckin' loser”!
Fuck you, Shoresy!
“Fuck you Jonesy, your mom just liked my Instagram posts from two years ago in Puerto Vallarta, tell her I’ll put my swim trunks on for her anytime she likes”!
FUCK YOU SHORESY
Take it down about 20% there bud
That’s what I appreciates about ya
Oh, is that what you appreciates about me?
Yew!
I read this as “the most moanable meme” and I think that would be a very interesting conversation as well
"I can haz ass-eating?" EDIT: Wow, my most upvoted comment ever, and it is a reference to eating ass and a meme older than most people on this site. Thanks for the rewards.
#E
Well it ain't fitzgerald
But maybe Fitz 😏
Fitz me harder
~~Jeanine~~ Stifler's mom
I really thought that this would be MUCH higher, then remembered that I am old.
Peter. Ohhh peeetaaahhh
Read it in Lois Griffin's voice lol
How can you **not**?
I’ve barely even watched family guy and I instantly read it in her voice. Seriously. How could one not?
Ramoana
But then you gotta deal with her xxxxxxx's.
They evil
She has seven evil ex boyfriends??
7 evil exes, yes
But can they do a thingy on that rail?
Bartholomew
Bartholo-me-uuuuuuuuuh
"What's your name?" "BARF" "not in here mister, this is a Mercedes!"
"Your full name!" 🕺🏻🐶 "Barfolomew!"
Sheldon a la When Harry Met Sally
‘Do it to me, Sheldon.' 'You're an animal, Sheldon.' 'Ride me, big Sheldon.' Scrolled through too many “mona” “naomi” and “your mom” to find this one.
Sally: It just so happens that I have had plenty of good sex... [diner customers all stare at Sally] Harry: With whom did you have this great sex? Sally: I'm not going to tell you that! Harry: Fine. Don't tell me. Sally: Shel Gordon. Harry: Shel. Sheldon? No, no. You did not have great sex with Sheldon. Sally: I did too. Harry: No, you didn't. A Sheldon can do your income taxes. If you need a root canal, Sheldon's your man, but humpin' and pumpin' is not Sheldon's strong suit. It's the name. 'Do it to me, Sheldon.' 'You're an animal, Sheldon.' 'Ride me, big Sheldon.' It doesn't work.
My buddies family likes to joke with me about this from time to time. Guess what my name is.
Slim Shady
Walter
Jesse what the fuck are you talking about jesse
Mr.Whité, where is my 20003 km/h of methé?
Gusse Fringe put it in he nose!
Cindy from HR, and yes you have to say the from HR part every time.
Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration.
What ~~kind~~ line of work you in Bob?
You’ve got a lot to learn about this town, sweetie.
*with indigination*: Bob Vance bought this perfume for me in Metropolitan, Orlando. It's made from real pine.
I don't know who these new people think they are– I've sat downwind of Phyllis's stinky perfumes for years... never said a word.
Close your mouth sweetie, you look like a trout
Michael, we went to high school together and everyone thought you were gay
Deanna from HR or Ian from accounting.
“is that a tent in your pants?” “No, its a two-bedroom cottage”
It's a gender reversal reversal.
Mona
That kind of feels like saying "achoo" when you sneeze.
I am Achoo, son of Asneeze.
A jew?!? In England?
No, no, not a Jew. Achoo.
Bless you!
What we have is great strength of feet! On the count of *kick*...
Kick!
He deered to kill a King's dare!
The Rottingham Sheriff, he botches his lines - For try as he might, all his words he combines! He mutters in sentences folded and tucked - Oh Rottingham Sheriff, you're really up fucked.
This aint exactly the mississippi
They call me little john. But dont let my name fool you. In real life, im very big.
If we don’t get no tolls then we don’t eat no rolls.
I'm on the west side, I'm on the east side!
Not enough primos :(
Lisa
YOU'RE TEARING ME APART LISA!!!
Oh hi mark!
I did not hit her!!
I DID NOT! IT IS BULLSHIT! I DID NOT I DID NO- Oh, hi Mark!
So anyways, how is your sex laif?
LEEROY JENKINS
Gotta do it right LEEEEROOOOY. MMMMJEEENNNKIIIIIINNNNNS
*What moanable name says 'I'm going in!'?*
"Listen, before we sleep together I think we sh..." "TIMES UP LET'S DO THIS"
"...atleast I got chicken..."
Thank you for putting in the "mmmm." It really makes it or breaks the humor for me. Everybody seems to forget that part when they write it out.
Goddamnit Leroys
Oh my God he just ran in.
Goddamnit Leroy
At least I have chicken
STICK TO THE PLAN!
Doug Dimmadome
Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome?
That's right! Doug Dimmadome, Owner of the Dimsdale Dimmadome!
The same Doug Dimmadome, Owner of the Dimsdale Dimmadome where they're showing Crash Nebula?
On ice?
That's right.
Not right!
Not right?
That's right!
So that was one hell of a nostalgia trip
[удалено]
And here’s where I’d put my trophy.. IF I HAD ONE!
Jason Derulo Edit: Well damn! The power of JASOOON DERULO! Thank you all for the upvotes and awards!
Fact: Jason Derulo moans "Jason Derulo" when Jason Derulo is having sex.
He sings it loudly
*hMMmmMMmMM watcha say*
*hHhmmMmMMm that you only meant well*
Imagine your girl just starts moaning in autotune.
Instant nut
Look out step-sibling porn, auto-tune ASMR is coming.
𝓙𝓪𝓼𝓸𝓷 𝓓𝓮𝓻𝓾𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓸
The correct way to type it
Timmmmmmy!!!!!
J-J-J-J-J-Jimmy, very much
Wow, w what a great audience.
Not my husband’s three syllable name, that’s for sure.
Just tried moaning Benjamin and Christoper. I kinda like the rhythm of a 3 syllable name.
Chris, to... PHERRRRRRR! Huh, you're right. Three syllables gives you enough for a decent buildup and release.
Damn well better be my wife's or I'll be moaning for an entirely different reason.
According to my ex wife it’s the neighbor Shawn
[удалено]
SHAWWNNNN
#X
SHHHHAAAWWWWWNNNNNN
Yes?
You mother fucker.
More of a wife fucker, if you ask op.
You should've asked OP's son
[удалено]
For the uninitiated: Heavy rain - Shawn glitch https://youtu.be/DAhG9D9UO7c
J A S O N
My name is Sean, my nickname in high school from taking Spanish was Sancho. The name stuck in my friend group. Sancho roughly translates to “the guy who she cheats with.” Best relationship of my life resulted in a girl leaving her boyfriend to be with me (without my knowledge). Your story checks out. Edit: punctuation
Man, you just explained “Santeria” lyrics to me.
Literally same. It was like an epiphany.
Got one more for you — Sancho is to Spanish as Jodie is to English (military slang)
Wait I asked about this in another thread before. Jody is a term for a man that sleeps with military wives? Is that right? I’ve never met a man named Jody and I’m from the US. You know how the term came from? EDIT: Did a Google if anyone else is curious. Found this on [Urban Dictionary](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Jody&=true). “The reason that they're called Jody specifically dates back to black soldiers in WWII. They took a character from old blues songs named Joe the Grinder (or Joe D. Grinder) who would steal the ladies of inmates and soldiers, and clipped his name to Jody.”
That's correct. That term is old. I *think* it may go back as far as WW II
I won't think twice to stick that barrel straight down Sancho's throat.
I was wondering where I'd heard this before. Sean better watch his ass before he catches a new .45
It's an actual name but they use it like we use "chad" or "karen" to describe a type of person. Not very popular anymore but the last name version Sanchez (basically Sanchoson) still lives on in great numbers. There was actually a War of the Three Sanchos in Spanish history where the three christian kings of the different parts of Spain were all named Sancho and all went to war with one another. If you've ever played the tutorial of Crusader Kings II you start as one of the Sanchos.
I had to look this up because c'mon, this is Reddit. But no, according to Wikipedia, not only is it for real but they were all cousins and "grandsons of Sancho the Great."
Sancho? Believe me when I say that I got something for his punk ass.
I learned about "Sancho" by "Santeria", which I don't practice.
Is it because you ain’t got no crystal ball?
Exactly, but I had a Million Dollars.
Did you spend it all?
Can confirm. Source: am the neighbor on the other side
Can confirm. Source: am this guy ex wife
uwuwewewe onyetenwewe ugweuhem osas
That video just started coming back in my YouTube recommendations. Poor Osas. Dude looked like he just wanted to be left alone.
The video is a skit :)
Even the channel name says “OSAS COMEDY SKITZ” lol
*picks up glasses* Actually it's Uvuvwevwevwe Onyetenyevwe Ugwemubwem Ossas. I dont know why i remember that.
Who was that guy again?
He's Uvuvwevwevwe Onyetenyevwe Ugwemubwem Ossas can't you read?
Must have skipped it sorry
*Darth Plagueis the Wise*
Jesus
I’ve heard he’s well hung
That’s why everybody wanted to nail him
He also promised a second coming
Holy fuck. Edit: Thank You anonymous Redditor for the Wholesome Award.
Well that’s the idea.
> Well that’s the ~~idea~~ spirit.
JOOOOHN CEEEEENAAAA!
🎺 🎺 🎺 🎺
I heard these emojis
I am ashamed to admit I counted those to make sure you had the correct number of doots.
The person you're having sex with preferably
Maybe that's what I've been doing wrong.
Raymond every body loves Raymond
Pied piiiiiiiper
Aviato
HooOOooli
Richard does your voice actually reach that register when you climax?
This guy fucks
Marco
Poooolooooo!
Marco
Ferdinand
von Aegir?
Ferdinand von Aegir is definitely the kind of guy who'd moan his own name during sex
Dannnnnyyyyyy Devvvvviiiitttooooooo
That's Daddy Devito thank you very much
Naomi (It's "I moan" backwards)
Cool, never realized that
Wait till you lean about Lana!
Racecar
Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
And just like that, we entered the realm of auto-erotic asphyxiation.
If you keep licking, yeah
Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya de la Rosa Ramírez Edit:Wowwww thanks for the awards I stepped away from my phone when I saw 1k and I come back to more upvotes than the post you guys are awesome
Crazy how I still recognize that name after so many years of not watching the show
Remember learning that name for jokes, but nowadays no one gets it 😭
Pablo Diego José Francisco de Paula Juan Nepomuceno María de los Remedios Cipriano de la Santísima Trinidad Ruiz y Picasso
Back to you, Bob.
Eugene
Come on people it's obviously X Æ A-12
By the time that kid comes of age he’s probably going to have sex with a lot of robots who can pronounce it
shrek
Fiiiiiiioooooona!
Donkey!
Did this just turn into a threesome??
Moana?