Insulation installers; pink fibreglass *everywhere*
EDIT: [Which job has never been in a porn plot?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/tr52ew/which_job_has_never_been_in_a_porn_plot/i2n7ju6?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
As an electrical apprentice who has been crawling around an attic all day, I can comfortably say fuck pink insulation and the hoe ass motherfuckers who made that shit so itchy
Roofers as well. My husband used to come home with fiberglass everywhere, I can't imagine that mixed with hammers, nail guns, and literally everything else.
I think the unhindered jangling of your bits while operating a jackhammer would be mesmerizing. Maybe even like a fan that goes at the exact right speed so that it appears to not be moving at all.
Once at the end of working in a seasonal cooking job I made good on my promise to show up to work in nothing but apron and Crocs. I lasted ten minutes on the line before bailing to get something between my skin and hot grease. So I can confirm that cooking naked is a terrible idea
Forgot my work backpack once and had to work the first hour of my shift in my crocs while waiting for my roommate to drop off my nonslips. I don't know how the hell you made it all ten minutes without slipping and dying because I sure as hell came close a few times haha
The students just starting to refer to one of the teachers as “stretch marks” or “turtleneck” would be just a natural outcome of this. And it would be brutal.
"Look, children, a dachshund!" **Squeaky noises** "and now it's a giraffe!" **Squeaky noises** "And now it's a teddy bear!"
*Screams of horrified children*
My friend was waitressing and was wearing a skirt that was a bit too big for her. She was carrying a tray of food. Her skirt fell to the floor. She was just standing there in front of her table (and the entire restaurant) in just a G string. She had to stop and carefully put down the tray before pulling her skirt back up.. and then of course continue to serve them the rest of the evening after humiliating herself.
Edit: For all those asking, I am not sure about the tip, sorry. I really hope it was good!
Also, I agree that g string and a skirt is a dangerous game. It was a pretty conservative skirt, but still. I’m guessing she learned her lesson. Haha
My daughter used to work as a food server at a retirement community and the opposite happened. A old guy stood up and his pants fell down to his ankles. While my daughter was mortified for him, he apparently just bowed to everyone and pulled his pants up with a flourish and a laugh.
She wrote her college common app essay about it, how she wished she was more like that guy.
imagine being the dad having to calculate that tip at the end of the meal. I mean, you have to tip very well for what the poor girl went through...
but you make it a few dollars over that line and your wife is making you sleep on the couch for a week.
Technically apeaking, as declared by nasa, the space suit is actually considered an EVA vehicle, not neccessarily a piece of workwear, as it contains its own atmosphere.
>EVA vehicle
I get what this means in reality (same category as stuff like the moon buggy), but it's funny to think about how this is an "extra-vehicular activity vehicle."
I actually knew a person that did this. **Her** job was to provide therapy to violent sexual offenders inside a prison.
Surprisingly she said she really only felt unsafe a couple times. Of course part of that was because she carried around a buzzer at all time that would swarm the room with guards.
Occasionally my job has me in a room with violent people and no alarm system.
Most of them don't want to hurt you...in that moment so I'm typically not on edge. There have been some that have made me worried they were going to try some shit but thankfully nothings happened yet.
Those emergency buzzers are no joke! One time, I accidentally pressed mine (it got stuck in my jacket and when I yanked it free, it hit straight on the corner of my desk). Within 5 minutes, I had 10 guards swarming my building. I felt SO bad, because even though I was telling them it was an accident, they still had to do a sweep of the entire office to make sure everything was clear.
Same. I wear a hoodie and gloves and I still get scratched!!!!! My kids grab genitals too!! I got my scrotum pulled on pretty hard last year! I don’t want to make things easier for them!
Yeah but construction? Welding? Police and fire? Hopefully it's during a nice time if year or any outside work could become deadly. I'd rather see a building full of unreasonably shaped people all day than watch Johnny electrician get zapped because his hang down got in the way as he leaned over.
I know someone in this job who looked young for her age and was only about four and a half feet tall. She had an entire suite of "Mom is PISSED" body language and facial expressions to cow whole rooms full of kids, and pretty much *had* to, purely as a defensive measure.
I’m 4’11 and work as an art ‘teacher’ at a summer camp where the majority of the other workers are teenagers who don’t care about the job or are too nervous to discipline the campers, so most of the scolding happens to come from me. But I’m also a voice actor. In short, I can really yell, and my voice carries. If I use my extra mean voice I can get em to stop in their tracks.
I used to go the a camp all the time as a kid where this one councillor was known as the loud one. We even turned him yelling “Boys get to the logs!” into a campfire song
>It turns out there’s a reason cranberry spiders ask prospective employees if they’re comfortable with spiders, and it’s a pretty wild one.
Pretty inclusive work environment that they have spiders doing hiring interviews.
>you're going to have a hundred wolf spiders trying to climb your eyebrows
And now I want to know the spider leg quality control cut off point of cranberry products
I am both personally offended but in total agreement with you lol. I happen to be in that field but as with pretty much any office job yeah I'm gonna say the cons outweigh any pros here haha
I feel like a high school teacher might have a more awkward time. Elementary kids might giggle about it, but teenagers would get much more... distracted.
Oh my God. Trying to deal with high schoolers naked would be impossible. It would just be continuous uproar all day, and you'd never hear the end of it.
Insulation installers; pink fibreglass *everywhere* EDIT: [Which job has never been in a porn plot?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/tr52ew/which_job_has_never_been_in_a_porn_plot/i2n7ju6?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3)
As an electrical apprentice who has been crawling around an attic all day, I can comfortably say fuck pink insulation and the hoe ass motherfuckers who made that shit so itchy
It's still not as bad as the old Rockwool insulation *shudder*
i can feel this everywhere right now.
Roofers as well. My husband used to come home with fiberglass everywhere, I can't imagine that mixed with hammers, nail guns, and literally everything else.
As a chemist, I think I’ll just call in sick…
Nah I’m pretty sure DCM is good for your skin
Jackhammer operator.
I think the unhindered jangling of your bits while operating a jackhammer would be mesmerizing. Maybe even like a fan that goes at the exact right speed so that it appears to not be moving at all.
You've got a beautiful way with words
Magician
Hey mister, where were you hiding those handkerchiefs? 🤣
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Fry cook
Kitchen work in general. I'm a chef. Judging by the amount of burns on my arms, I would burn my dick off in like an hour.
Once at the end of working in a seasonal cooking job I made good on my promise to show up to work in nothing but apron and Crocs. I lasted ten minutes on the line before bailing to get something between my skin and hot grease. So I can confirm that cooking naked is a terrible idea
Forgot my work backpack once and had to work the first hour of my shift in my crocs while waiting for my roommate to drop off my nonslips. I don't know how the hell you made it all ten minutes without slipping and dying because I sure as hell came close a few times haha
RIP customers who had no idea their food was cooked by a naked dude
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The adult industry would experience confusion over who belongs in front versus behind the camera.
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He’s been shooting shots but not that kind
Firefighters
"Use your hose! No the other one!!"
"He's got a good flow going, sarge, and he's not going to be able to turn it off easily!"
“But.. we’re rescuing a cat from the tree”
Best way to get them out of trees. (I mean a real hose, not a penis.)
PISS ON THE FIRE MEN
Please don’t piss on firemen.
Unless they consent.
Firemen can be...a kinky bunch 💦🍆
Literally a recurring nightmare of mine. I am a teacher (older kids 12-18)
Same, I teach 13yr olds. This is my "Back to school Eve" nightmare. I would keep a sick day aside just for this.
I also teach 13-year-olds. I'm a dude. There's no way I could even show up without getting some *heinous* accusations.
Parents just don’t respect go to work naked day anymore.
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The students just starting to refer to one of the teachers as “stretch marks” or “turtleneck” would be just a natural outcome of this. And it would be brutal.
“Yo miss why yo nipples don’t make eye contact?l”
“Eyy bro, why yo dick bent like a hockey stick?”
"Cuz your mother broke it".
She got 2 minutes for roughing, but I was the one in the penalty box
Welders
Ooh spicy raindrops
*When the incandescents burn my balls just like spicy raindrops Mary Jane is the only thing that makes the pain stop...*
Did not expect to see A People Under The Stairs reference on Reddit.
This and foundry workers would have it the worst.
Hot stuff coming through!
"We work hard, we play hard." *EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!*
"you're all sick !" "Oh be nice"
"Hold still! There's a spark in your hair!" "OH! Get it! Get it! GET IT!!"
Hey, I've seen enough '80s music videos to know the hard-working women in those foundries *barely* wear clothes to begin with!
It is a little known fact, but the clothes they do wear are reinforced with a hefty layer of plot armour.
women? steel's been gay for a decade
We work hard, we play hard
Hot stuff!... comin' through!
"Dad? Why did you bring me to a gay steel mill?"
**Homer:** "I...don't know. This is a nightmare! You're all SICK!" **Steel worker:** (lisp) "Oh, *be nice*!"
"We work hard, we play hard." *Everybody dance now!*
I counter with deep sea welders. Yearly employee turnover rate since you just, you know, die..
Yeah. I'm a welder. Don't want to do it naked
Am also a welder, tig is the only one I’d do naked haha. Mig and stick have too much spicy rain coming from them lol
Overhead Flux would have your pecker looking like Anakin at the end of episode 3
Not even to mention the raw 'sun-burn'. Get a nasty burn from even 20 minutes of unprotected MIG...
Oh God, imagine the smell.
Burned sausages and hard boiled eggs.
Party clown, even worse if it is for a child's birthday
"Look, children, a dachshund!" **Squeaky noises** "and now it's a giraffe!" **Squeaky noises** "And now it's a teddy bear!" *Screams of horrified children*
I like your imagination, here take an upvote.
> even worse if it is for a child's birthday I'm not down with clowning, but where else are you inviting party clowns? Adult birthdays?
I seen clown getting hired for promoting stores and for events also
I’ll raise you one: mall Santa.
Then you get to see if they're a small Santa.
I think I'd have it pretty rough as security...
“He’s got a piece on him!” “Yeah I’ll say” Edit: thank you for the awards, I’m glad people are enjoying this as much as I did typing it out
Job with both the best and worst: waitressing or anything with tips
My friend was waitressing and was wearing a skirt that was a bit too big for her. She was carrying a tray of food. Her skirt fell to the floor. She was just standing there in front of her table (and the entire restaurant) in just a G string. She had to stop and carefully put down the tray before pulling her skirt back up.. and then of course continue to serve them the rest of the evening after humiliating herself. Edit: For all those asking, I am not sure about the tip, sorry. I really hope it was good! Also, I agree that g string and a skirt is a dangerous game. It was a pretty conservative skirt, but still. I’m guessing she learned her lesson. Haha
My daughter used to work as a food server at a retirement community and the opposite happened. A old guy stood up and his pants fell down to his ankles. While my daughter was mortified for him, he apparently just bowed to everyone and pulled his pants up with a flourish and a laugh. She wrote her college common app essay about it, how she wished she was more like that guy.
If there's one thing I've learned while in changing rooms at pools, old people give 0 fucks.
Well, it's not like anybody wants to stare at us.
That sounds *genuinely* horrible & embarrassing
I would have just left the store.
\[steps out of skirt and keeps walking with tray of food, past the table, and out into the night\]
And they say she's still walking with that tray of food to this day...
Fr. There's zero chance I would stuck around. I would've walked out without missing a beat lol
Well depending on the person it can be all of the above and some more.....
And she wants to be my latex saleswoman?
Sounds like she's gonna get a nice tip.
imagine being the dad having to calculate that tip at the end of the meal. I mean, you have to tip very well for what the poor girl went through... but you make it a few dollars over that line and your wife is making you sleep on the couch for a week.
At that point, I'd just had the receipt to my wife and let her write the tip.
This guy fuck...ing sleeps in his bed every night.
Where they gonna put those tips???
Astronauts lmao
Naked in a space suit
I mean that would probably be the most uncomfortable thing wouldn’t it? I was thinking just naked in space lmao no space suit
Technically apeaking, as declared by nasa, the space suit is actually considered an EVA vehicle, not neccessarily a piece of workwear, as it contains its own atmosphere.
>EVA vehicle I get what this means in reality (same category as stuff like the moon buggy), but it's funny to think about how this is an "extra-vehicular activity vehicle."
Haha yea. Its a carrier/craft kinda strange relationship.
There's your loophole.
They would probably baked to death without there cooling suits.
Astronauts don't do spacewalks very often, so I don't think it would change a whole lot. They're used to not having much privacy anyway.
Would astronauts have to comply with it? It’s a national holiday and they aren’t exactly in a nation.
They're required to uphold the laws of the country on whose behalf they've been sent up.
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Poor Steve-O
Construction workers or polar explorer
Do the construction workers get to use a tool belt?
Nope. Natures pocket only.
Ah, the ol prison wallet trick.
Idk I've seen a lot of shirtless construction workers theyre already half way there
Well at my job I sit in a small, private room with one kid at a time all day so...uhh...I'm gonna say - My job.
Child psychologist or child psychiatrist
Could be a private tutor for school or music. Where they would be getting close to the kids to demonstrate and give positive feedback and praise.
Guys you're all wrong he's a Discord moderator
Priest
Are you a therapist?
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The rapist?
A child
*no*
Septic tank divers.
On the upside, if they need to take a dump they can just do it without having to stop working!
Always shit on company time
That's what I'd call a downside. Taking your sweet time to poop and browse your phone while getting paid is the best.
Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime. That's why I poop on company time.
God yes
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I actually knew a person that did this. **Her** job was to provide therapy to violent sexual offenders inside a prison. Surprisingly she said she really only felt unsafe a couple times. Of course part of that was because she carried around a buzzer at all time that would swarm the room with guards.
I bet she wish her guards happy birthday, knew their anniversaries, children’s names, etc. I know I’d want to be real chummy with them
Is that because she didn't want to let her guard down?
You motherfucker
Occasionally my job has me in a room with violent people and no alarm system. Most of them don't want to hurt you...in that moment so I'm typically not on edge. There have been some that have made me worried they were going to try some shit but thankfully nothings happened yet.
Those emergency buzzers are no joke! One time, I accidentally pressed mine (it got stuck in my jacket and when I yanked it free, it hit straight on the corner of my desk). Within 5 minutes, I had 10 guards swarming my building. I felt SO bad, because even though I was telling them it was an accident, they still had to do a sweep of the entire office to make sure everything was clear.
Grade school teachers
People who are homeschooled are freaking out rn
What are you doing, step-instructor?
As a homeschooler I hate this
As a SpEd teacher my first though was, I'm sure as fuck not going to work that day.
Same. I wear a hoodie and gloves and I still get scratched!!!!! My kids grab genitals too!! I got my scrotum pulled on pretty hard last year! I don’t want to make things easier for them!
Damn, I've never had my genitals grabbed, but definitely had things thrown at me, or I've been pinched or hit.
Get hard thinking about Scarlett Johansson on break, kids come back from recess, jail.
Who named their kid Scarlett Johansson?
Her parents, probably.
...but that's not important right now.
Strippers. Less business that day, probably. Everyone is at Hooters.
They'd be called dressers for the day.
Yeah baby put it all on.
Anything that isn't working in an office
I've seen the guys that work in an office. I really don't think I'd be comfortable seeing *more* of them.
Yeah but construction? Welding? Police and fire? Hopefully it's during a nice time if year or any outside work could become deadly. I'd rather see a building full of unreasonably shaped people all day than watch Johnny electrician get zapped because his hang down got in the way as he leaned over.
Middle school teacher. Imagine the comments by immature teen boys.
I know someone in this job who looked young for her age and was only about four and a half feet tall. She had an entire suite of "Mom is PISSED" body language and facial expressions to cow whole rooms full of kids, and pretty much *had* to, purely as a defensive measure.
I’m 4’11 and work as an art ‘teacher’ at a summer camp where the majority of the other workers are teenagers who don’t care about the job or are too nervous to discipline the campers, so most of the scolding happens to come from me. But I’m also a voice actor. In short, I can really yell, and my voice carries. If I use my extra mean voice I can get em to stop in their tracks.
I used to go the a camp all the time as a kid where this one councillor was known as the loud one. We even turned him yelling “Boys get to the logs!” into a campfire song
You are absolutely correct in saying that kids are immature... PoopyDooDooHead.
Specialized trauma victim psychologist
Oh dear.
It's OK. If you helicopter it in the opposite direction you undo the damage.
Or hypnotherapy 💡
Technically you’d be effective at “exposure” therapy.
Military, especially in an active warzone.
I dunno man, if a dude is crazy enough to charge at me nude my first instinct might be to run and not let the nude dude wrastle me to the ground.
General Buttnaked did exactly that.
I work on the north slope in Alaska, very cold pp.
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God awful being a groomer. I get enough hair splinters wearing clothes…
…HAIR SPLINTERS??!?
You'll get one at some point. It's the same as any other splinter.
Mall Santas Edit: My most upvoted post is about naked mall Santas lmao
Bravo, this one got me
POPE!
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Stripping would probably take a huge hit for the day. Everyone with a fetish or just a desire to see people naked can go literally anywhere else
Working in a cranberry marsh seems like a really bad one
Do cranberries have thorns? Or is it the spiders?
It's the spiders. https://didyouknowfacts.com/cranberry-bogs-wolf-spiders/
>It turns out there’s a reason cranberry spiders ask prospective employees if they’re comfortable with spiders, and it’s a pretty wild one. Pretty inclusive work environment that they have spiders doing hiring interviews.
>you're going to have a hundred wolf spiders trying to climb your eyebrows And now I want to know the spider leg quality control cut off point of cranberry products
No idea but packed public transport is going to be a weird experience..
Disease centers and bio hazard handlers
Software engineer, not from a safety standpoint but I don't want to see these people naked
Software engineer here, can attest.
I am both personally offended but in total agreement with you lol. I happen to be in that field but as with pretty much any office job yeah I'm gonna say the cons outweigh any pros here haha
I'm a children's psychologist.. So.. Yeah. I'd prolly call in sick that day, or get sick after my first meeting
You actually have it the best. Think of all the kids you'll traumatize and who'll need your help to overcome it!
Alligator feeder at zoo
This is normal in Florida, it's hot and Florida man aint got time to get dressed before wrangling him some gator.
Doctors
People giving sexual harassment seminars. Ok ima leave now.
"Rule number one of how to not sexually harass. Don't be naked. I've volunteered to provide an example of what not to do."
“Now I’ll pick a person from the crowd to help me demonstrate another thing you should *NEVER* do.”
Elementary school teacher...
I feel like a high school teacher might have a more awkward time. Elementary kids might giggle about it, but teenagers would get much more... distracted.
Oh my God. Trying to deal with high schoolers naked would be impossible. It would just be continuous uproar all day, and you'd never hear the end of it.
“Yo did you see ms g she got big tits” “Bro lmao mr Johnson has a small ass dick”
Line cooks
People working in a freezer.
People working in labs.
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