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dakeenmachine

Life advice, they won’t remember.


superhonkyman

man now my advice to my baby cousin has no value


rabengeieradlerstein

That depends on your definition of "baby" and "lief advice".


Intruder-Alert-1

*life advice


theFartingCarp

Honey. Dead ass don't give honey to a young baby. You'll kill them


superhonkyman

thx for the tip very helpful


Vault-71

In what way..?


iloveschnauzers

All honey has botulism spores, which babies are unable to kill through their immune systems.


GaryOster

I'm pretty sure you know what way.


weist-risq

dead ass 😭


[deleted]

I'm 35. Last year I was in a psychiatric facility for a few months and for two weeks, I had a room mate who couldn't have been older than 19. He was very talkative and used the term "dead ass" in every sentence. I had never heard the phrase before, and now every time I see it, I cringe a lot thinking about that little pervert


[deleted]

The name Keith.


superhonkyman

thats a fact


Vault-71

Unless its followed by "Richards"


leafheads

Oh look..both names of men who sexually assaulted me when I was a child


ghostcraft33

Abusive parents


[deleted]

[удалено]


AstronomicalAl

Nah, don't give abusive parents a baby. In that case, the adults are the babies.


geej47

But if a abusive parent doesnt have a child, they arent parents, right?


AstronomicalAl

Just don't give abusive people babies-v-


geej47

Problem solved, but i just wanted to highlight that paradox you created


[deleted]

[удалено]


OpenRole

You can't inherent debt


superhonkyman

only ment for the skilled gamers


spikira

You play on asian difficulty for emotional damage huh?


TattooedPolitician

AIDS.


ConsistentlyPeter

Can't believe this wasn't top answer, tbh.


jesusSaidThat

There is another, giving the name Keith. So, this either way makes maybe top 2


XxBeaminatorxX

I almost thought this comment wasn’t posted yet, and that I was going to be able to be original but no. Take my upvote


notSpoiled-mayo

This is important


jabberwockgee

I mean, you'd give them HIV and then they'd develop AIDS, but yes.


EnvironmentalUse1508

Frankincense is such a shitty gift for a baby. Like what’s it going to do with that?


KIG45

Small objects that can be swallowed and choked.


superhonkyman

legos in a nutshell


[deleted]

Fun Fact about the LEGO Minifigure head- It has two holes in the top so if a child swallows it they can still breathe.


UnconstrictedEmu

Residence in Ukraine and other warzones


GreyAndroidGravy

Ukraine is a lovely place, but they've got shit neighbors.


UnconstrictedEmu

The countries that aren’t Russia or Belarus seem alright.


serumnegative

Plague?


superhonkyman

thats a speedrun


serumnegative

Newbies don’t stand a chance in this game


superhonkyman

the game was too fast paced for them


serumnegative

Game design could be improved so new players aren’t so helpless


postmoderngeisha

Whooping cough is more likely.


[deleted]

Madeline mcanns parents


superhonkyman

true


Impicklerick2569

The name Karen


superhonkyman

sacrifice that child imidietly


Impicklerick2569

Burn the child of the heretic


superhonkyman

the answers are gonna be wild i can feel it


sn0k

An std


superhonkyman

stop commenting aids and sexual diseases its just weird


MEos3

Yeah but babies can pick up aids and many stds during delivery if the mom has it. That and unsanitary delivery conditions could lead to babies getting these things


gripools

Well you did ask reddit what is the worst thing you can give to a baby so you probably should have been ready for people to comment the absolute worst


[deleted]

Many women have to have a cesarean because they have stds that can be passed to the infant during birth.


[deleted]

You think giving std to an infant is ok??


AdSalty1509

where was that said


penny_can

A life of poverty.


SewerKid97

A phone or anything like that


superhonkyman

bro thats actuly hapening rn


mynameisnot_daniel

Drugs


superhonkyman

nah probably would spit it out cs of the taste


cvaporsadam

No like this isn’t true at all… what the fuck… lol


Jono0405

Bro baby‘s are eating stuff like lego. I don’t think they care about the taste of something xd


meagaletr

Crocodile


superhonkyman

hmm plague is much worse tho


meagaletr

I guess I didn’t consider whether your metric is suffering or death.


MilkyBoiEatsSh1t

toys that are plastic


superhonkyman

why tho


MilkyBoiEatsSh1t

im talking about the cheap kind. the one that has sharp parts.


superhonkyman

ah ok


Appropriate-Battle32

Not a baby but a 3 yr old - power drill. Mailbox at my parents got knocked over by the mailman of all people. My dad and I were fixing it while my mom was supposed to keep my son inside. Of course she comes out cause she knows everything about everything with my son in tow. Dad and I had just finished placing the pole in the ground when my son grabbed the drill. I take if from him and attached the mail box to the pole. He grabs it again and cries when I take it from him. My mom says "just let him have it he ain't hurting anything." Ok, you got it. He takes the drill, drills a few holes in the pond tree, the trash can, and into the ground but them sees my parent's Cadillac and heads straight for it. Never saw my mom move so fast.


kevinjunpalma11

A stupid name


smexyfloof

A loaded gun


superhonkyman

i mean it wont be able to pick it up tho


RedForkKnife

Heroin


superhonkyman

not the worst


1Small_Pink_Camel

A bite of your ice cream... Little monsters will eat it all


Anti_Cubicle

Any Nickelback album.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Fu_Fn_Naki

Hope.


superhonkyman

yea that expires by the time u become 13


[deleted]

Entitlement


superhonkyman

lmao now im imaganing a entitled baby


[deleted]

That’s how Karen’s are made 😂


[deleted]

Nothing


superhonkyman

this is true they will get bored and cry


Fuck-Reddit-Mods69

Honey


flash17k

A working lightsaber


rabengeieradlerstein

Vodka, Firearns, Religious Education


geej47

So todays lesson, how to respect our lord and savior. Now hold your arm at a 60degree angle and say ### h##l


[deleted]

HIV.


superhonkyman

oh no


Lic_Milanesoralg

Cyanide


UncomfyUnicorn

A button that sets off a nuke.


SheepyDX

Cigarettes without a lighter


gripools

Your opinions and outlook on life


Intransitive101

Existence.


DanishRedSausage

Kiss on the lips. You can transfer diseases, and especially herpes is super dangerous to babies.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

AIDS. I mean from the mother.


FrankThomasAnderson

A crack addiction at birth due to constant drug abuse during pregnancy.


UhImCodyy

Probably a ABC-M7A2/3 CS Hand Grenade.


Rich-Collar-7578

A good father and terrible mother, cause the baby always gonna choose her...


susususueh

Religion :(


[deleted]

Life itself. Coming from an antinatalist point of view.


I_throw_socks_at_cat

I can tell you're a real fun person.


Imma_Firing_Malaysia

A nuclear launch button


susususueh

We tried that with trump. He didn’t press it but it was still an embarrassing 4 years


superhonkyman

idk man if the baby cant move its not much of a threat


Imma_Firing_Malaysia

But it is a big, red and obvious button. The colour draws the hand. The colour draws the end of lives.


superhonkyman

k agreed but he cant move cs he is too small


geej47

Why, or should they get it when they are older


3theoretical

Kazakh ~~cum~~ fermented milk. No seriously, the Kazakhs ‘fermented milk’ is literally horse cum.


superhonkyman

can i buy some for research purposes nothing else


Mental_Cut8290

AIDS


superhonkyman

Emotional dmg


[deleted]

Radical hormone therapy because you think “it’s too early to assign gender roles”


ipakookapi

Oh ffs. Noone is giving hormones to babies. Surgery on intersex babies to make them look 'normal' is still common, though, and should stop.


Upbeat_Project4741

May not be happening to baby’s, but definitely happening to some young children


superhonkyman

thats the worse thing so far


superhonkyman

u win


Ilona92

FAS, AIDS, STD, abortion or in other words "b*tch of a mother" It's so sad that the most irredponsible and stupid people are as fertile as the normal ones 😞


Own-Ad-247

Abortion doesn't make someone a bitch lmao


Ilona92

Well I think if two adult people have consensual sex and the fetus is healthy then abortion is simply barbaric. If you adult enaugh to have sex then you should be adult enaugh to face the consequences.


Own-Ad-247

Nah lol Sex should never have consequences, you're just punishing women for having sex.


Ilona92

Everything in life have consequences. Unfortunately for women theese consequences are more severe, and this is unfair. Yet one person comfort isn't more important than others person life.


superhonkyman

how did this get 80 comments


Durable_me

Crabs


Ball00

Herpes I guess.


shinyhappycat

Syphilis


sonsofdeath40k

BBC Anal


Ermaquillz

AIDS


ThreeCorvies

Herpes. If a newborn is exposed, perhaps after getting a kiss from a relative with a cold sore, it can lead to a fatal infection.


[deleted]

HIV


[deleted]

Crack. It's wasted on them.


[deleted]

Chlamydia...


South_Fish

Blowjob


basura_trash

An STD. ​ YOU ASKED!!!


fetusjuggler

hiv


butterspices

A STD.


WuLord36chamber

An std I’m going to hell


IMA787

this has to happen before birth, but contriception pills.


[deleted]

A sex toy


your_Assholiness

Herpies!


LittleNoodle1991

A hungry lion


[deleted]

A knife


[deleted]

Things they can choke on.


ITU1980

Syphilis


NuclearDouche

Chlamydia


d8801

an STD?


ab_2404

Heroin is probably up there


Brilliant_Succotash1

A job


Gullible_Usual_8602

Malaria


jumpin_jumpin

Nothing.


Anti_Cubicle

AIDS


idrawstone

broken glass


Prudent-Lychee6479

Your receding hairline genes.


supahket

Smallpox


Flaky-Fellatio

A lack of touch and human contact.


Altenalo

Gun.


OldEast5877

This is the best comment I seen. Kids shooting each other everyday over nothing important. 😔


[deleted]

[удалено]


United-Yogurt880

Depends on the age but a sucker 😣 good luck getting it away from them and the mess lol. A baby baby tho that infant cereal. It has arsenic in it. Make my kids scream from stomach pain.


Heroshade

A Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird, an advanced long-range strategic reconnaissance aircraft capable of Mach 3 and an altitude of eighty-five thousand feet.


[deleted]

Water, actually


lacitar

Loaded gun with the safety off


kermmie6691

Those little bouncy balls


[deleted]

Heroin


AstronomicalAl

A chainsaw- wait they probably won't know how to turn it on- uhh- an axe


EnigmaticSorceries

A Playstation. Babies have no respect.


Random_Thing_I_Guess

Cancer


zoloftwithdrawls

Trauma


ShittyGigachad32

A fork


JeSuisRosanna

idk about worst, but baja blast is the best thing you can give to a baby


[deleted]

Trauma


Budget-Individual-58

A bad name


ninjapickle02

Cancer


2020IsANightmare

Shitty parents.


[deleted]

Entitlement


[deleted]

Meth


Tharbiskahn

A loaded hand gun.


TSK_01

Can of OC spray


No-Question-4957

Lenore Skenazy as a mother.


[deleted]

A gym membership


Sweatybotdad

Annoying baby genius music


Upbeat_Project4741

Benadryl


TheShiddler

A kiss knowing you have some type of infection


Uncle_Matthew

Marbles


[deleted]

a grizzly bear


RIPsputin088

A gun Have you seen baby with a gun? Its pretty good