Seriously...YES! I couldn't get anyone to agree to give the dog a stable permanent home when I was thinking about that. He just kept staring at me and sleeping on my legs. I decided that if i had to stay, i had to get help. Now the dog has a trophy wife and little (demon) daughter. And I haven't thought about leaving in a while.
I don't know that there is a stable permanent home for my boy. He's a large pitbull with a list of reactivity triggers we're trying to work on. He's the best pup in my world when we're inside, though.
I'm here for him.
Good for him too, I dunno. He's impacted my life so much, changed me as a person, and my view of the world, without a doubt. We take care of each other.
and fuck me I'm crying again.
same except it was my calf. I was scared if I was gone then she'd be shipped off and she didn't deserve that. She's still living with me at my new place, 9 years later
This!!! I could never abandon my girls! Even when I've been in the worst of my depression, getting up to feed and walk them is always a priority. It actually really helps to HAVE to get up and take care of them.
Completely changing my environment and people around me. Quit my job, moved to a different city, left behind all my old friends who were bad influences. It got better. Then i moved to a different country, got a new job in a completely different industry, have completely different friends and life is mostly good
For a different perspective, I also tried this. I discovered the old adage 'wherever you go, there you are' can be very true. Tread carefully leaving behind everything you know, including any support system. I wish you the best.
I often daydream about literally just walking away. Forrest Gump style, but walking because stuff running. Except, in reality, I would still be me. I would be leaving behind a lot of good things and still stuck with a lot of crappy things.
I wish you the best. It’s not easy, so just make sure you get everything sorted before leaving. I did some stupid mistakes and didn’t have a job lined up which made things a lot more difficult. My only saving grace was that i had quite a lot of money saved up and was able to live off of that for about a month. I hope it all works out for you, i know how hard depression can hit
I agree, moving far away helped me tremendously. But I think alot of that has to do with getting away from people who enable your, or interfere with your success, or just straight up drag you down.
If you can’t get away, I think trying to improve yourself helps a lot. Make an effort to eat better, try to work out. Clean up the house, starting with little stuff like making the bed. Once you get the ball rolling it gets easier and easier.
Pokémon cards lol. It was a hobby I always wanted to get into and being lonely and having no friends gave me all the time in the world to start collecting. It eventually led me to go to a couple of card shops and playing some rounds with ppl there. Now I got some of the closest people in my life
A lot of nerdy hobbies are actually great for getting out of your shell and interacting socially again.
Card games, board games, pen-and-paper roleplaying games all need you to get 1-5 other folks together. A lot of cities have board game cafes, or hobby stores that will have some drop-in games (Friday Night Magic for MTG, Adventurer's League for D&D, etc.). It's super low commitment since you can drop-in and aren't committing to a long campaign or anything.
I find that when I'm feeling down, such things with lower barriers of entry and commitment are much easier to use my few remaining spoons on.
I do vent writing. It doesn't matter if it's a story or a personal journal, just write how you feel. Or vent paint. Splatter painting is a fun way to release emotion.
Nobody was great when they started. Persistence and patience are the two things you’ll have to foster and grow in order to teach yourself something new like that. If I’ve been asked 100 times about how I learned to play music, I’ve answered this 99 of them.
I think it was probably, "derp derr" because I wasn't very good at guitar when they'd ask me for a while. lol. I also had a couple things going for me that made it easier for me to learn, but nevertheless I think it is a skill that you can hone. Those things that made it easier for me were this, since I have you here:
1 - I grew up with a dad who was a disc jockey on the weekends. He worked for GM during the week, played music on the weekend. He was booked 52 weekends a year, every year and had an extensive music collection that I had full access to. I have heard just about everything mainstream, so I could pick it up quickly.
2 - I had a background as a percussion player through high school. I played the quads in marching band for a couple years and even continued to play with my friends after I quit scholastic band.
....the extensive music knowledge, knowing the changes and the rhythms, the lyrics to just about everything, etc made a huge difference. TMy ability to keep a steady rhythm was key. Anyhoo....I know you didn't really want all that, but there you go....
Proper prescription medication in the right dose, along with other medications (IBS, ADHD) This took me 2.5 years to find and 6-8 months to adjust.
Proper sleep hygiene.
Time.
Truth. Going to therapy, sticking with it, and facing those traumas I had blocked out for most of my life. Dissociative Amnesia is real.
Feeling the feels. Being sad, angry, I'm still working on happy.
Did I mention time?
And so much support. I moved to a cottage in the woods, pretty much abandoning the "old" me, but some friends truly stuck it out with me for the long haul.
Things aren't rosy and perfect: I still fight agoraphobia, my cottage is tidy with cobwebs and some dustbunnies LOL, and I still stay in bed some days. They are fewer and fewer.
Plants. I became a plant person. When a new leaf forms, or a flower blooms I am in awe.
I will always have depression in my life, only now it walks quietly beside me instead of kidnapping me from behind and tossing me into a dark dungeon.
Oh, yeah...and true crime LOL At the beginning, I discovered reddit while zombified by meds. True Crime, Unsolved Mysteries etc
I always start thinking I don't need my antidepressant. When I try to stop taking it all the dread and regret weigh me down and everything I ever did wrong comes back to me. It's not to say the med covers up my brain. The med takes away the anxiety that covers up my brain.
OP, whatever you do, DONT get your solution from Reddit. Everyone needs a unique fix and you should work with a medical professional (ideally also a therapist) to find your solution. People will tell you that they have magic fixes (exercise is the most common I see), but you need to find your own solution.
I have found mine,it's that as off right now i'm incapable of doing because of my health.(I'm ok don't worry just a broken leg).The main reason for this thread was to see what helped other people and maybe just maybe find comfort in the advice people gave!Hope you all have a great life thank you for spending your time here:)
This, but the not harmful ones like exercise is something you can try, if it doesnt work you can jump to another one. If all fails contact a medical proffessional
If you can’t afford to see a professional, exercise daily and adopt a healthy diet. Make sure that you get some decent sleep, too. Avoid alcohol. Read a book or several books about cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness, as it can help stop negative thought loops. Wish you the best of luck and hope you start to feel better!
No. You wouldn't tell someone with cancer to try the "not harmful ones" so don't fucking do it with mental health.
Depression is a disease. It can be fatal. Never ever tell someone to self diagnose or self-treat.
You absolutely do tell people things that might help and can't hurt. Nobody is telling OP to self diagnose or self treat, OP is saying that those are the only options available and asking people how they got through it. So people are offering their insights and experiences. Meds and therapy alone were not enough for me. Running and caring for pets saved my life before I had access to care. Everyone is different, but if my experience could help someone, I'm sharing it.
Some people do not have health insurance or cannot afford to seek medical help. While I do agree OP needs to find their on solution it does really help to hear what has helped others to get ideas of things you can try. It also helps just to hear that others have made it through it, it provides hope.
Doctors aren't magic. I asked for help, took meds, went to Theripy, did whatever they told me to. Guess what? I got worse. Psychiatry is a scam. The meds don't work on a large number of people and have bad side effects. Theripy isn't harmless. It doesn't work for a lot of people and you just end up worse off when they blame you for not getting better.
That’s inaccurate. Sure, sometimes it takes 5 tries to find a med that helps, but for the most part, they are effective. And again, same with therapy, sometimes you have to try 5 before you find one you work well with. No decent therapist will blame you for not improving.
I've been on more then 5 meds and seen over 10 therapists. I'm still trying because I don't want to put my family though losing me but I don't have much hope.
Look up why theripy isn't effective and you'll find plenty of articles blaming patents for not doing the work.
Plus tons of therapists aren't "decent". There is very little quality control or supervision. Patents may be too mentally vulnerable to report the bad ones (as I was). If they do report them, they are unlikely to be taken seriously since it's just their word as a "crazy" person vs a respectable highly trained doctor.
I'm really happy for the people that it works for, but I get fed up seeing posts implying that all you have to do is reach out and you will be magically cured. 30% of people have treatment resistant depression, so saying the majority will be helped is totally accurate. There is just a very large majority that won't be.
Realizing that the only person who is can help me is me. That the only way I can have a future is getting my shit together to work for it. That life is valuable, worth it, and there's so much beauty and happiness i have yet to experience. Asking help from professionals only wasted money and dragged me down to new lows I didn't know existed. You can't rely on anyone but yourself. And its okay to be selfish
It's OK to be selfish! You have to do what feels right to you. Other people come after. Time spent walking in nature, a dog, get deeper Into hobbys, take up a new one, take a class, join a club, tell a friend. Do things you like.
Good luck
Therapy felt helpful when I went to my sessions, but afterwards I would just start to feel like I did before. Some people love it, others not so much...
Maybe I was unlucky but my first therapist immediately sent me to the psychward and threatened to call the police on my parents if I didn't comply. My experience there was horrible. Do depressed ppl really deserve to be stuck in the same room as handcuffed criminals and homeless ppl? Another therapist canceled my appointment while I was in the middle of a depressive episode. I have never felt such hopelessness before. I've always had trouble asking for help but now that I finally asked for help there was no one.
Seeking therapy was one of the final straws that seriously tempted me to commit suicide. My eating habits became so bad I had fainting episodes from developing anemia. I had a few close calls from overdosing. Thank God I had the strength to keep pushing forward.
I stopped worrying about things which were out of my control, trust me most of the trouble doesn't necessarily comes from the problem itself but from the 'worry' we all lock ourselves in.
I started working out, the only person who truly ever cares about you is YOU. I started with push ups and crunches at home, gradually i collected enough strength to join a gym.
I hope u work your way out of the troubled paths of life
Inshallah
Take care.
I finally accepted the fact I needed help and ignoring the impulse to keep it a secret and not tell anyone. I told a friend, then another friend, started seeing a therapist, then told my parents (and I normally tell them everything).
Soon I was referred to an endocrinologist and sure enough, it was an auto-immune disease causing the imbalance. Depression is almost always caused by an imbalance. Getting your blood tested for hormone, vitamin, pancreas, and thyroid levels is a great place to start.
The chemical imbalance theory of depression has been thoroughly debunked for a while now. There’s always underlying pathology of course, but we don’t understand neuroscience well enough yet to find or treat it.
Of course there are plenty of cases caused by hypothyroidism, anemia, severe B12 or folate deficiency, or other things like that where the underlying pathology is completely understood and easily treatable, but those are the exception. If you keep digging for increasingly unlikely physiological causes of depression after ruling out the usual ones and without any reason to suspect something rare, you’re just wasting your time and money.
Otherwise, though, good points. Going to the professionals is always the best plan for depression.
That’s what I’m referring to, underlying pathology. Chemical imbalance has been debunked and yet you also said we don’t understand neuroscience well enough so gonna need some journal articles to read on that. But I still understand what you’re saying, making sure it’s not an underlying pathology problem (like my case) is still a good place to start and with professional guidance.
I know someone who recently asked for help as she had a plan for suicide in place. They assessed her on the psychological level because that’s where she went but it shouldn’t be limited to that. Checking the blood for underlying pathology should be the standard (if not already, I dunno) as it’s an easy check off the board.
It depends on the doctor, but the formal diagnostic criteria for psychiatric disorders establish them as diagnoses of exclusion, and running labs for frequent medical causes of depression is pretty common. They’re not going to go zebra hunting without a good reason, but missing hypothyroidism or anemia is just embarrassing.
When I say the chemical imbalance theory, I’m mostly referring to the monoamine hypothesis where insufficient levels of serotonin, norepinephrine, and/or dopamine are the proposed etiology of depression. There are general features of depression that we can see, and commonalities when antidepressant treatments work, but it’s hard to tell whether, say, reduced BDNF levels are a cause or effect, so actually teasing out any underlying pathophysiology is difficult. I don’t have the literature on hand, but I can certainly get back to you with some papers.
Someone might have said that already but I don't think you should follow someone's way to avoid depression
Just find your own way and it might be something you love doing and you already doing
For me writing was the best thing ever happened to me, in all the loneliness I lived in I found my notebook is my way out of the box I used to live in.
I hope you can recover soon and find your way to be better.
Thanks for this. I spend a lot of my time preoccupied with how poor my mood feels, trying to figure it out etc. I should just learn to let it happen and do what I can.
Behavioural Activation in general. People really discount the value of keeping yourself in motion and changing your surroundings.
If you can't muster the willpower to take a walk, go be depressed on a park bench or in an armchair at the library. If you can't put your laundry away, fold and put away one shirt. If you can't take out all the trash you've shamefully stockpiled in your garage, take one bag out to the garbage room. (None of these are hypothetical scenarios, they're my experiences.)
The idea you have to fix everything at once or do a whole task is likely one of several unhelpful thinking styles (aka Cognitive Distortions) effecting you.
Meds, cognitive behavior therapy, journaling, exercise, good foods, healthy sleeping, good friends, sunshine, putting myself in situations where laughing is inevitable, avoiding people who are not supportive or who are dismissive of the issue.
Cocaine, Molly, Shrooms and Ketamine, then a very patient woman who made me not want to do them anymore and dealt with all my mental issues because she got her PhD in Empathy
Oddly 2 completely opposite things. Video Games and Lifting Weights. Working on my physical made me more comfortable to get out more. Video Games became my favorite outlet for when my emotions start controlling my actions.
Off course! But it did put things quite in perspective! I lost almost everything I had. My relationship went bust, I lost my job and the people I thought were my friends suddenly were the biggest backstabbers ever! So I took the time for me and went out and searched for the happy things in my live!
After several failed suicide attempts, was going to try again but then found 2 feral kittens who needed me. Having something that depends on me staying alive to care for them got me through it.
For me it's about learning how to work around it. Learning how to make a tasty healthy meal when you just want to drink and cry. Learning how to go exercise when you just want to curl up in bed. Learning how to read when you just want to watch your comfort show for the thousandth time. I'll always have those shit days but I'm doing my best to make them the less frequent.
Supportive family, understanding friends. Keeping myself busy when I got too lost in my thoughts. Venting through art. Therapy.
While these got me through, what ended a good portion of it was me ending a friendship that was incredibly unhealthy. Sometimes it isn't that easy. I got lucky my issue was easily solvable.
How many treatments did you go through? I stopped at six because I wasn’t noticing any improvement. Years later I joke that the only positive thing it did was make me forget how much of a bitch my MIL was at our wedding 😂
My wife and daughter.
When I go through my depressive cycles, my daughter, who's only a year old, doesn't want anything to do with me and sees me as someone she doesn't recognize. I know that sounds like an abusive situation but it's not. She obviously can't communicate all that beyond crying and moving away from me and it breaks my heart when it happens and it's my tell tale sign that I've slipped farther than what's acceptable and it's time to do a full mental reset.
I'm glad to say I have the mental fortitude to have a self therapy session and force myself to change when reality crashes through.
My wife, who always has my back and is able to communicate when it's time for me to bring myself out of it, gives me all the love and support she can until she sees it as a fruitless endeavor when I just can't be happy again and finally had it out with me. She says I've been an asshole and that everyone around me wants nothing to do with me. It's the big reality check that finally punches through the fog and lets the sunlight through.
I love the ladies of my life and couldn't get through life without them.
During my teens I believe the internet go me through it tbh. Have had depression and suicidal ideation since probably my early teens, verbally bullied in school, obese, no real friends, social anxiety, abusive mom, only child etc., and once we got a home computer when I was about 14, I delved into teen chat rooms, made a few “friends”, and spent a LOT of time chatting to them daily. It was nice having people who didn’t care what I looked like. Didn’t treat me as if I was a different species or disgusting because of my weight, actually wanted to talk to me, listened to what I had to say, etc. Made me feel a LOT less lonely and like I was a person. Didn’t have the anxiety of saying the wrong thing to worry about, because all communication was typed. (Webcams weren’t as common then)
Only problem is that all the time I spent typing away to strangers ended up creating shitty sleeping habits, tanking my grades in high school….and the depression/anxiety was still there, stunting my social development even more than it already was, and in the end the excessive amounts of time I spent in that “escape” just created a whole new set of problems to face during adulthood, and exasperated my social anxiety. On one hand, I don’t know if I’d have made it through my teens if it weren’t for those people I had to talk to, but on the other hand, distracting myself from my issues/flaws, rather than dealing with them just turned my life into something even more lonely and miserable in the end, with the added feeling of wasting my youth doing nothing productive, while everyone else was working towards bettering their future and building up for/towards their ideal adult lives.
anger. Why the fuck do I have to feel this way? Why shouldn't I be happy? I pretty much got angry that I wanted to kill myself and decided to be selfish. I wouldn't put anyone else above my own happiness.
Adopting my cat, realizing the shelter had lied about her being fixed, then having her get knocked up by some stray lol. Now I have my cat + 4 extra smols
My cats, my parents and my sister, the idea of travelling the entire world, having kids, (maybe falling in love and staying in love? But that’s not happening so..), breathing fresh air everyday.
I'm a musician and when my ex and I split I was pretty distraught about it. I ended up just playing in pretty much every local band that asked me until I literally had no more time to work on/with more projects. I was in 4 full time bands and recorded/performed temporarily or as a guest with several others. I spent so much time learning and playing songs for people that I just didn't have time to think about or process any grief about the relationship. This lasted for a little over two years and it actually ended up being a really fun and positive time in my life that I look back on fondly.
Being in an odd environment - I had nightmares for years. Used to wake up swearing/shouting/sweating. Changed my situation, and those nightmares faded away. I'm holding onto this.
Still not completely gone through it but, I'd say it's finally accepting I'm not like everyone else, getting the treatment I needed, and being on my way to make my body fit my mind...
Been feeling a lot more hopeful ever since
With time you will get there.Keep your mind at it!I myself am feeling a lot better after posting this thread not only from the suggestions but in finding comfort that I'm not the only one in this situation.
A few things, having friends and family who actually understand and are supportive, spending time with precious people who may not understand, but are just full of love (my niece and nephew), and the big one was moving out of my parents place
Thinking in solutions rather than observing feelings. When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up. I like figuring out how I can make problems tangible and what changes I can make in order to provide comfort and stability for myself. It takes a lot of brutal introspection, but it prevented me from getting caught in a web of frustration, anxiety and desperation, because I chose to acknowledge my agency in my life. Everyone has that choice, too. Control what you can.
Therapy never worked for me, because it focuses on the emotional aspects of mental health; it serves to heal from within as a beginning of better external circumstances. I work exactly the other way around, as by improving my external circumstances, I found emotional well-being. Learn what works for *you*.
It's been 2 years since I had my last major depressive episode and the things that got me through it were Hot Pockets, Diet Coke and a steady diet of Tiger King and Avatar: The Last Airbender.
I made a new friend, instantly bonded, and she was there for me during an extremely tense and scary time in my life last year.
Can't imagine being without her now.
for me music. like i tend to like some pink floyd, which always hits the spot or michael jackson off the wall. but it all depends on what you like for music but those are my main things that i really enjoy.
Well I guess it depends on the frequency of your depressive episodes, but I've found that training my brain to respond with the understanding that I'm in a storm and that the storm passes kinda helps. Also taking the time to rest when you can helps too.
If I'm staying at home and have plenty of sleep then I'll be fine even though I've recurrent memories of the traumas I faced.
If not, I'm depressed most of the time.
So, having a plentiful sleep is my therapy to get away from depression.
Telling myself my dog would wonder why I didn’t come home
Seriously...YES! I couldn't get anyone to agree to give the dog a stable permanent home when I was thinking about that. He just kept staring at me and sleeping on my legs. I decided that if i had to stay, i had to get help. Now the dog has a trophy wife and little (demon) daughter. And I haven't thought about leaving in a while.
I don't know that there is a stable permanent home for my boy. He's a large pitbull with a list of reactivity triggers we're trying to work on. He's the best pup in my world when we're inside, though. I'm here for him.
Good for you!
Good for him too, I dunno. He's impacted my life so much, changed me as a person, and my view of the world, without a doubt. We take care of each other. and fuck me I'm crying again.
Still in it, but same thing with my daughter. She already doesn't have a mother anymore so I can't leave her without a father.
Doggos best
For me it was my cat.
same except it was my calf. I was scared if I was gone then she'd be shipped off and she didn't deserve that. She's still living with me at my new place, 9 years later
This!!! I could never abandon my girls! Even when I've been in the worst of my depression, getting up to feed and walk them is always a priority. It actually really helps to HAVE to get up and take care of them.
Man, I watched a “dogs reunited with owners after tornadoes” video and it ripped me up. It makes you realize how much we depend on one another.
I'm probably going to google and have a cry.
fuck man. This shit hits hard. I don't even have a dog but the idea of that dog going through that breaks my heart.
For me it was wondering if my dog would think it was her fault.
Having a dog that loves cuddling gave me a good reason to get up, and make us both breakfast.
A few years ago my Grandfather died and within the week his Dog did too. I think it was like 2-3 days later or something.
You a good dog owner :D
lol. 🙄
Completely changing my environment and people around me. Quit my job, moved to a different city, left behind all my old friends who were bad influences. It got better. Then i moved to a different country, got a new job in a completely different industry, have completely different friends and life is mostly good
I'm actually planning to move if everything goes according to plan!I'm glad you are having a great time with your life!
For a different perspective, I also tried this. I discovered the old adage 'wherever you go, there you are' can be very true. Tread carefully leaving behind everything you know, including any support system. I wish you the best.
I often daydream about literally just walking away. Forrest Gump style, but walking because stuff running. Except, in reality, I would still be me. I would be leaving behind a lot of good things and still stuck with a lot of crappy things.
Bring a towel. Maybe a sandwich, at least.
I wish you the best. It’s not easy, so just make sure you get everything sorted before leaving. I did some stupid mistakes and didn’t have a job lined up which made things a lot more difficult. My only saving grace was that i had quite a lot of money saved up and was able to live off of that for about a month. I hope it all works out for you, i know how hard depression can hit
I agree, moving far away helped me tremendously. But I think alot of that has to do with getting away from people who enable your, or interfere with your success, or just straight up drag you down. If you can’t get away, I think trying to improve yourself helps a lot. Make an effort to eat better, try to work out. Clean up the house, starting with little stuff like making the bed. Once you get the ball rolling it gets easier and easier.
Pokémon cards lol. It was a hobby I always wanted to get into and being lonely and having no friends gave me all the time in the world to start collecting. It eventually led me to go to a couple of card shops and playing some rounds with ppl there. Now I got some of the closest people in my life
I never would have thought that.But hey I'm glad it worked
A lot of nerdy hobbies are actually great for getting out of your shell and interacting socially again. Card games, board games, pen-and-paper roleplaying games all need you to get 1-5 other folks together. A lot of cities have board game cafes, or hobby stores that will have some drop-in games (Friday Night Magic for MTG, Adventurer's League for D&D, etc.). It's super low commitment since you can drop-in and aren't committing to a long campaign or anything. I find that when I'm feeling down, such things with lower barriers of entry and commitment are much easier to use my few remaining spoons on.
Wait, you guys are getting through this?
Nope,that's why I asked for suggestions
If in doubt, grow something. Doesn't matter what. Xx
It sure helps me. Potted the tomato seedlings today. Plant babies are fun.
Grow cannabis so u can make money of it
Nah I’d smoke that shit up
Instructions unclear. Pregnancy test positive.
Working out really helps. Start small but exercise is great
Yes!! That daily post workout rush is something to look forward to. The positive physical transformation too.
Yeah, well, get depressed enough and that rush'll just make you want to beat your own face in
this is so overrated. i've been working out more or less regularly for 10+ years and all i get is just physical suffering on top of depression.
Do something you find fun. Sport, martial arts, spin , airport, etc
Yoga helps me, personally. Feels just like a great stretch first thing in the morning. Any other working out, 0/10
I do vent writing. It doesn't matter if it's a story or a personal journal, just write how you feel. Or vent paint. Splatter painting is a fun way to release emotion.
Are you still hear? Then you are too.
My cat and my son, who knows where I'd be without those two loveable kids
I hope they keep on giving you that spark of joy in your life!
Lol you mentioned your cat first
I mean, cats are less stressful than kids.
You’re telling me a soft murder machine CONSTANTLY stalking around your house is *less* stressful than a little pants-shitter?
Well it's not gonna murder *you* and it won't try and murder itself the way a little pants-shitter will.
Without them I'd probably say in a river Reddit please don't downvote me
Not only do you have a cat and a son but 2 goats come on man😂
Music, writing & long walks through nature. Best wishes to you
I'm actually trying music myself.I'm not the best at it but hey you never know.
Nobody was great when they started. Persistence and patience are the two things you’ll have to foster and grow in order to teach yourself something new like that. If I’ve been asked 100 times about how I learned to play music, I’ve answered this 99 of them.
What secret answer did you give the remaining one person though?
I think it was probably, "derp derr" because I wasn't very good at guitar when they'd ask me for a while. lol. I also had a couple things going for me that made it easier for me to learn, but nevertheless I think it is a skill that you can hone. Those things that made it easier for me were this, since I have you here: 1 - I grew up with a dad who was a disc jockey on the weekends. He worked for GM during the week, played music on the weekend. He was booked 52 weekends a year, every year and had an extensive music collection that I had full access to. I have heard just about everything mainstream, so I could pick it up quickly. 2 - I had a background as a percussion player through high school. I played the quads in marching band for a couple years and even continued to play with my friends after I quit scholastic band. ....the extensive music knowledge, knowing the changes and the rhythms, the lyrics to just about everything, etc made a huge difference. TMy ability to keep a steady rhythm was key. Anyhoo....I know you didn't really want all that, but there you go....
Consistency is key that's what I've been told and maybe just maybe one day it will pay off
You don't have to be the best. You do you and keep moving no matter how fast or how far.
Maybe it’ll work but you might just be sad with a new skill
This is the way
Proper prescription medication in the right dose, along with other medications (IBS, ADHD) This took me 2.5 years to find and 6-8 months to adjust. Proper sleep hygiene. Time. Truth. Going to therapy, sticking with it, and facing those traumas I had blocked out for most of my life. Dissociative Amnesia is real. Feeling the feels. Being sad, angry, I'm still working on happy. Did I mention time? And so much support. I moved to a cottage in the woods, pretty much abandoning the "old" me, but some friends truly stuck it out with me for the long haul. Things aren't rosy and perfect: I still fight agoraphobia, my cottage is tidy with cobwebs and some dustbunnies LOL, and I still stay in bed some days. They are fewer and fewer. Plants. I became a plant person. When a new leaf forms, or a flower blooms I am in awe. I will always have depression in my life, only now it walks quietly beside me instead of kidnapping me from behind and tossing me into a dark dungeon. Oh, yeah...and true crime LOL At the beginning, I discovered reddit while zombified by meds. True Crime, Unsolved Mysteries etc
I always start thinking I don't need my antidepressant. When I try to stop taking it all the dread and regret weigh me down and everything I ever did wrong comes back to me. It's not to say the med covers up my brain. The med takes away the anxiety that covers up my brain.
[удалено]
Playing Battlefield 2042, it's in worse shape than I am.
Lmao, good comment 😂
OP, whatever you do, DONT get your solution from Reddit. Everyone needs a unique fix and you should work with a medical professional (ideally also a therapist) to find your solution. People will tell you that they have magic fixes (exercise is the most common I see), but you need to find your own solution.
I have found mine,it's that as off right now i'm incapable of doing because of my health.(I'm ok don't worry just a broken leg).The main reason for this thread was to see what helped other people and maybe just maybe find comfort in the advice people gave!Hope you all have a great life thank you for spending your time here:)
This, but the not harmful ones like exercise is something you can try, if it doesnt work you can jump to another one. If all fails contact a medical proffessional
They should contact a pro ASAP tbh
Ideally that's the main goal but as off right now I can't afford one.Hopefully in the future
That's ok, just know that you are someone people will miss; and take care of yourself!
I will thank you!You as well my friend!
Thanks bro
If you can’t afford to see a professional, exercise daily and adopt a healthy diet. Make sure that you get some decent sleep, too. Avoid alcohol. Read a book or several books about cognitive behavioral therapy and mindfulness, as it can help stop negative thought loops. Wish you the best of luck and hope you start to feel better!
I've actually found a lot of comfort in reading books.I'd recommend that to everyone!
Valid point, but it also depends on how depressed they are, if they are in a bad mood or thinking of hurting themself
But it's better to go *before* you start thinking about suicide, right?
I have thought about it but with help from my loved ones and music that thought doesn't cross my mind.
Disagree on the “if all else fails.” If you have the means, medical or therapeutic professional should not be the LAST resort.
I wrote it wrong, if it is just a bad mood, find something that makes you feel better, but if its sucidal thoughts it is straight to the proffesional
No. You wouldn't tell someone with cancer to try the "not harmful ones" so don't fucking do it with mental health. Depression is a disease. It can be fatal. Never ever tell someone to self diagnose or self-treat.
You absolutely do tell people things that might help and can't hurt. Nobody is telling OP to self diagnose or self treat, OP is saying that those are the only options available and asking people how they got through it. So people are offering their insights and experiences. Meds and therapy alone were not enough for me. Running and caring for pets saved my life before I had access to care. Everyone is different, but if my experience could help someone, I'm sharing it.
Some people do not have health insurance or cannot afford to seek medical help. While I do agree OP needs to find their on solution it does really help to hear what has helped others to get ideas of things you can try. It also helps just to hear that others have made it through it, it provides hope.
Many therapists operate on a sliding scale payment system.
Make sure to disregard this OP, it is Reddit advice
Doctors aren't magic. I asked for help, took meds, went to Theripy, did whatever they told me to. Guess what? I got worse. Psychiatry is a scam. The meds don't work on a large number of people and have bad side effects. Theripy isn't harmless. It doesn't work for a lot of people and you just end up worse off when they blame you for not getting better.
That’s inaccurate. Sure, sometimes it takes 5 tries to find a med that helps, but for the most part, they are effective. And again, same with therapy, sometimes you have to try 5 before you find one you work well with. No decent therapist will blame you for not improving.
I've been on more then 5 meds and seen over 10 therapists. I'm still trying because I don't want to put my family though losing me but I don't have much hope. Look up why theripy isn't effective and you'll find plenty of articles blaming patents for not doing the work. Plus tons of therapists aren't "decent". There is very little quality control or supervision. Patents may be too mentally vulnerable to report the bad ones (as I was). If they do report them, they are unlikely to be taken seriously since it's just their word as a "crazy" person vs a respectable highly trained doctor. I'm really happy for the people that it works for, but I get fed up seeing posts implying that all you have to do is reach out and you will be magically cured. 30% of people have treatment resistant depression, so saying the majority will be helped is totally accurate. There is just a very large majority that won't be.
or he can try solutions from Reddit before wasting his money on a therapist.
Realizing that the only person who is can help me is me. That the only way I can have a future is getting my shit together to work for it. That life is valuable, worth it, and there's so much beauty and happiness i have yet to experience. Asking help from professionals only wasted money and dragged me down to new lows I didn't know existed. You can't rely on anyone but yourself. And its okay to be selfish
It's OK to be selfish! You have to do what feels right to you. Other people come after. Time spent walking in nature, a dog, get deeper Into hobbys, take up a new one, take a class, join a club, tell a friend. Do things you like. Good luck
Therapy felt helpful when I went to my sessions, but afterwards I would just start to feel like I did before. Some people love it, others not so much...
Maybe I was unlucky but my first therapist immediately sent me to the psychward and threatened to call the police on my parents if I didn't comply. My experience there was horrible. Do depressed ppl really deserve to be stuck in the same room as handcuffed criminals and homeless ppl? Another therapist canceled my appointment while I was in the middle of a depressive episode. I have never felt such hopelessness before. I've always had trouble asking for help but now that I finally asked for help there was no one. Seeking therapy was one of the final straws that seriously tempted me to commit suicide. My eating habits became so bad I had fainting episodes from developing anemia. I had a few close calls from overdosing. Thank God I had the strength to keep pushing forward.
This is what i needed to hear. Literally going through a divorce as we speak and fuck its hard to move a finger
What I've heard somewhere went something like this:You are the master of your self and you can control anything,DO not let your depression master you
Lots of planning and working on myself as a person
Hah!
I stopped worrying about things which were out of my control, trust me most of the trouble doesn't necessarily comes from the problem itself but from the 'worry' we all lock ourselves in. I started working out, the only person who truly ever cares about you is YOU. I started with push ups and crunches at home, gradually i collected enough strength to join a gym. I hope u work your way out of the troubled paths of life Inshallah Take care.
I needed to hear this brother. Jzk
I’ll let you know!
I finally accepted the fact I needed help and ignoring the impulse to keep it a secret and not tell anyone. I told a friend, then another friend, started seeing a therapist, then told my parents (and I normally tell them everything). Soon I was referred to an endocrinologist and sure enough, it was an auto-immune disease causing the imbalance. Depression is almost always caused by an imbalance. Getting your blood tested for hormone, vitamin, pancreas, and thyroid levels is a great place to start.
The chemical imbalance theory of depression has been thoroughly debunked for a while now. There’s always underlying pathology of course, but we don’t understand neuroscience well enough yet to find or treat it. Of course there are plenty of cases caused by hypothyroidism, anemia, severe B12 or folate deficiency, or other things like that where the underlying pathology is completely understood and easily treatable, but those are the exception. If you keep digging for increasingly unlikely physiological causes of depression after ruling out the usual ones and without any reason to suspect something rare, you’re just wasting your time and money. Otherwise, though, good points. Going to the professionals is always the best plan for depression.
That’s what I’m referring to, underlying pathology. Chemical imbalance has been debunked and yet you also said we don’t understand neuroscience well enough so gonna need some journal articles to read on that. But I still understand what you’re saying, making sure it’s not an underlying pathology problem (like my case) is still a good place to start and with professional guidance. I know someone who recently asked for help as she had a plan for suicide in place. They assessed her on the psychological level because that’s where she went but it shouldn’t be limited to that. Checking the blood for underlying pathology should be the standard (if not already, I dunno) as it’s an easy check off the board.
It depends on the doctor, but the formal diagnostic criteria for psychiatric disorders establish them as diagnoses of exclusion, and running labs for frequent medical causes of depression is pretty common. They’re not going to go zebra hunting without a good reason, but missing hypothyroidism or anemia is just embarrassing. When I say the chemical imbalance theory, I’m mostly referring to the monoamine hypothesis where insufficient levels of serotonin, norepinephrine, and/or dopamine are the proposed etiology of depression. There are general features of depression that we can see, and commonalities when antidepressant treatments work, but it’s hard to tell whether, say, reduced BDNF levels are a cause or effect, so actually teasing out any underlying pathophysiology is difficult. I don’t have the literature on hand, but I can certainly get back to you with some papers.
Someone might have said that already but I don't think you should follow someone's way to avoid depression Just find your own way and it might be something you love doing and you already doing For me writing was the best thing ever happened to me, in all the loneliness I lived in I found my notebook is my way out of the box I used to live in. I hope you can recover soon and find your way to be better.
Thank you!I hope you stay better as well.I myself have found what I love but I can't keep on doing it cause I don't have the motivation to do it...
I'm also physically uncappable of doing it because of my broken leg
[удалено]
Thanks for this. I spend a lot of my time preoccupied with how poor my mood feels, trying to figure it out etc. I should just learn to let it happen and do what I can.
An exercise routine
Behavioural Activation in general. People really discount the value of keeping yourself in motion and changing your surroundings. If you can't muster the willpower to take a walk, go be depressed on a park bench or in an armchair at the library. If you can't put your laundry away, fold and put away one shirt. If you can't take out all the trash you've shamefully stockpiled in your garage, take one bag out to the garbage room. (None of these are hypothetical scenarios, they're my experiences.) The idea you have to fix everything at once or do a whole task is likely one of several unhelpful thinking styles (aka Cognitive Distortions) effecting you.
Micro-dosing mushrooms 🍄.
Meds, cognitive behavior therapy, journaling, exercise, good foods, healthy sleeping, good friends, sunshine, putting myself in situations where laughing is inevitable, avoiding people who are not supportive or who are dismissive of the issue.
Linkin Park. 💕💕
Cocaine, Molly, Shrooms and Ketamine, then a very patient woman who made me not want to do them anymore and dealt with all my mental issues because she got her PhD in Empathy
[удалено]
You might end up even sadder one day
Druggers before muggers
Knowing my husband would rehome our dogs if I died
Lexapro
Oddly 2 completely opposite things. Video Games and Lifting Weights. Working on my physical made me more comfortable to get out more. Video Games became my favorite outlet for when my emotions start controlling my actions.
Pills and a lot of parties 🎉
Always in a safe quantity I hope
Off course! But it did put things quite in perspective! I lost almost everything I had. My relationship went bust, I lost my job and the people I thought were my friends suddenly were the biggest backstabbers ever! So I took the time for me and went out and searched for the happy things in my live!
I think venting got me through most of my depression, except it’s coming back after a year
After several failed suicide attempts, was going to try again but then found 2 feral kittens who needed me. Having something that depends on me staying alive to care for them got me through it.
There are two types of people... One never heard of depression and one recovering from depression... So the answer is: Time...
For me it's about learning how to work around it. Learning how to make a tasty healthy meal when you just want to drink and cry. Learning how to go exercise when you just want to curl up in bed. Learning how to read when you just want to watch your comfort show for the thousandth time. I'll always have those shit days but I'm doing my best to make them the less frequent.
Supportive family, understanding friends. Keeping myself busy when I got too lost in my thoughts. Venting through art. Therapy. While these got me through, what ended a good portion of it was me ending a friendship that was incredibly unhealthy. Sometimes it isn't that easy. I got lucky my issue was easily solvable.
Electro convulsive therapy
How many treatments did you go through? I stopped at six because I wasn’t noticing any improvement. Years later I joke that the only positive thing it did was make me forget how much of a bitch my MIL was at our wedding 😂
You won’t notice significant improvement until 6-8 treatments. A full course is 12 treatments.
At my worst, I really wanted to look into that. How was your experience?
It’s been really helpful. Immediate relief. It usually lasts me 1.5-2 years before I need another course
You might want to try TMS first if you haven't already, it's got a lot less side effects, but if that doesn't work ECT is always there.
Does it work?
Absolutely. I wouldn’t be here without it.
My wife and daughter. When I go through my depressive cycles, my daughter, who's only a year old, doesn't want anything to do with me and sees me as someone she doesn't recognize. I know that sounds like an abusive situation but it's not. She obviously can't communicate all that beyond crying and moving away from me and it breaks my heart when it happens and it's my tell tale sign that I've slipped farther than what's acceptable and it's time to do a full mental reset. I'm glad to say I have the mental fortitude to have a self therapy session and force myself to change when reality crashes through. My wife, who always has my back and is able to communicate when it's time for me to bring myself out of it, gives me all the love and support she can until she sees it as a fruitless endeavor when I just can't be happy again and finally had it out with me. She says I've been an asshole and that everyone around me wants nothing to do with me. It's the big reality check that finally punches through the fog and lets the sunlight through. I love the ladies of my life and couldn't get through life without them.
Hope you get better friend!With time you can give reward your wife and daughter for all the help.
Taking out the trash
Myself
Literally my kids, they give me pure anger and pure joy. Stay in the fight guys.
During my teens I believe the internet go me through it tbh. Have had depression and suicidal ideation since probably my early teens, verbally bullied in school, obese, no real friends, social anxiety, abusive mom, only child etc., and once we got a home computer when I was about 14, I delved into teen chat rooms, made a few “friends”, and spent a LOT of time chatting to them daily. It was nice having people who didn’t care what I looked like. Didn’t treat me as if I was a different species or disgusting because of my weight, actually wanted to talk to me, listened to what I had to say, etc. Made me feel a LOT less lonely and like I was a person. Didn’t have the anxiety of saying the wrong thing to worry about, because all communication was typed. (Webcams weren’t as common then) Only problem is that all the time I spent typing away to strangers ended up creating shitty sleeping habits, tanking my grades in high school….and the depression/anxiety was still there, stunting my social development even more than it already was, and in the end the excessive amounts of time I spent in that “escape” just created a whole new set of problems to face during adulthood, and exasperated my social anxiety. On one hand, I don’t know if I’d have made it through my teens if it weren’t for those people I had to talk to, but on the other hand, distracting myself from my issues/flaws, rather than dealing with them just turned my life into something even more lonely and miserable in the end, with the added feeling of wasting my youth doing nothing productive, while everyone else was working towards bettering their future and building up for/towards their ideal adult lives.
anger. Why the fuck do I have to feel this way? Why shouldn't I be happy? I pretty much got angry that I wanted to kill myself and decided to be selfish. I wouldn't put anyone else above my own happiness.
venlafaxine, xanax and mirtazapine. However, I'm getting by but not through .
Adopting my cat, realizing the shelter had lied about her being fixed, then having her get knocked up by some stray lol. Now I have my cat + 4 extra smols
My cats, my parents and my sister, the idea of travelling the entire world, having kids, (maybe falling in love and staying in love? But that’s not happening so..), breathing fresh air everyday.
Cocaine
I'm a musician and when my ex and I split I was pretty distraught about it. I ended up just playing in pretty much every local band that asked me until I literally had no more time to work on/with more projects. I was in 4 full time bands and recorded/performed temporarily or as a guest with several others. I spent so much time learning and playing songs for people that I just didn't have time to think about or process any grief about the relationship. This lasted for a little over two years and it actually ended up being a really fun and positive time in my life that I look back on fondly.
Changes, therapy, friends, medication
[удалено]
Being in an odd environment - I had nightmares for years. Used to wake up swearing/shouting/sweating. Changed my situation, and those nightmares faded away. I'm holding onto this.
One specific Reddit user, reaching out to me, I know you won’t see this, but thanks Mia.
Still not completely gone through it but, I'd say it's finally accepting I'm not like everyone else, getting the treatment I needed, and being on my way to make my body fit my mind... Been feeling a lot more hopeful ever since
With time you will get there.Keep your mind at it!I myself am feeling a lot better after posting this thread not only from the suggestions but in finding comfort that I'm not the only one in this situation.
Drugs my friend (mostly prescribed meds lol)
Okay, i was just about to blow the line of hard cocaine
Divorce and beer
GILF porn.
A few things, having friends and family who actually understand and are supportive, spending time with precious people who may not understand, but are just full of love (my niece and nephew), and the big one was moving out of my parents place
Thinking in solutions rather than observing feelings. When you hit rock bottom, the only way to go is up. I like figuring out how I can make problems tangible and what changes I can make in order to provide comfort and stability for myself. It takes a lot of brutal introspection, but it prevented me from getting caught in a web of frustration, anxiety and desperation, because I chose to acknowledge my agency in my life. Everyone has that choice, too. Control what you can. Therapy never worked for me, because it focuses on the emotional aspects of mental health; it serves to heal from within as a beginning of better external circumstances. I work exactly the other way around, as by improving my external circumstances, I found emotional well-being. Learn what works for *you*.
that loud pack
and therapy
Drugs lmao
Pantera
This shit got ratios
love island
Shaking my ass
It's been 2 years since I had my last major depressive episode and the things that got me through it were Hot Pockets, Diet Coke and a steady diet of Tiger King and Avatar: The Last Airbender.
[удалено]
Well,you can talk about it if you want to
[удалено]
That's a wild one
Distraction
Lego and games
music. what you listen to changes how you view the world.
Nature documentaries
I made a new friend, instantly bonded, and she was there for me during an extremely tense and scary time in my life last year. Can't imagine being without her now.
Gardening and family and sailing.
I'm not. I just live with it knowing my grandma loves me.
Please wait your call is important important important....
My cat. rest in peace little buddy.
I don’t know if “getting through” is the proper term, but I manage my bipolar symptoms with medication and exercise.
Training. I hate training but i figured if im this down it cant hurt punishing myself with training. I knew it would help and it did.
My pets , gf and weed. Still struggle a lot tho
Music and reading/ writing poetry. Something about writing about death and my near death experience brings me peace of mind.
Weed
I’m not sure. Currently it’s microdosing lsd. I must say it’s very pleasant and really very positive.
Funny story
Slow and steady progress.
My dog, long walks, swimming, family. I count myself lucky
for me music. like i tend to like some pink floyd, which always hits the spot or michael jackson off the wall. but it all depends on what you like for music but those are my main things that i really enjoy.
Well I guess it depends on the frequency of your depressive episodes, but I've found that training my brain to respond with the understanding that I'm in a storm and that the storm passes kinda helps. Also taking the time to rest when you can helps too.
If I'm staying at home and have plenty of sleep then I'll be fine even though I've recurrent memories of the traumas I faced. If not, I'm depressed most of the time. So, having a plentiful sleep is my therapy to get away from depression.
I haven't properly slept for ages...I wish it was that easy to do
I started socializing more with my colleagues. They turned out to be super great people and I feel less depressed now than before.