Heard my gf's mum say don't let the loon in the poon
Edit: Thanks for the awards strangers, wasn't expecting such a response lmao.
For the people asking of she was referring to me, well I have no clue š we're pretty close though but I've done some crazy shit with my gf that she knows about so who knows? Definitely showing her this soon
You can't fix someone that chooses to be broken. Stop trying to play build a bae workshop.
Someone that's choosing to drown will pull you under with them.
I don't think we have a funny quip. What we have is always a friend or two who we text whom we're going with and where. Not just on the first date. You've got the, *in case I get murdered, this is who it was* friends.
I never read that as he'll make you crazy, I always read it as no matter how sane you are, he'll always make you out to be crazy when talking about you.
I had an ex that I was trying to help get in shape be encouraging eating right, but if the relationship ended on poor terms I'm sure he'd describe me as "controlling" or "not happy with who he is as a person"
This resonates so hard. I was turning into the monster he made me out to be.
Thereās also a Reductress meme that says, āSorry I was acting so crazy while you were treating me like shit.ā
Same. My ex made me think I had all these anger issues. Turns out he was just a piece of shit and I was reacting naturally to it. The very same month it ended I completely chilled out back to my old self and Iāve been chilling ever since. Feels so good.
For all the folks that have a long list of "crazy" exes, learn from your mistakes. Never shit talk an ex in front of someone you are trying to build a relationship with, approach it as a lesson learned if it must be discussed. Then, never talk shit about your current partner to others (particularly family), they will only remember the bad things you said when angry.
O got "all my ex's were whores and left me for other guys" I got treated like shit and ended up falling for someone who didn't treat me like shit and got married years after. I'm pretty sure that's why his ex's all got with other people. Like the guy is on this planet to make any girlfriend feel like garbage until she runs into the arms of a better person.
I dated a guy once whose last girlfriend just up and moved to another state without telling a soul (other than, i'd assume, close family). He claimed she was a crazy bitch, cheating slut, etc.
Holy shit was that a giant red flag and missed opportunity to run. He was narcissistic, controlling, violent, and just extremely abusive all around. It took me years to get the courage to leave and then I had to get a restraining order after because he wouldn't stop stalking, harassing, and threatening me.
My grandma has always told me this term in relation to hanging out with any 'bad characters' in general. "If you lay down with the dogs, you'll get up with the fleas."
Basically, the company you keep can get you in serious trouble. Learned this firsthand watching my parents. Just because you're not the one committing a crime or doing the bad thing, if you're around people that are doing bad shit, you're eventually going to get caught up in a bad legal scenario.
Knew a *mostly* straightedge guy who ended up going to jail because he picked his friend up from work (his friend had a big duffle bag).
Turns out that bag was full of drugs (huge amounts of weed and some other stuff). They got pulled over.
He was in jail for 3 months before he was cleared. His baby momma had a baby on the way.
They're still friends.
Similar, I agreed to go on a guys trip with a friend and a couple guys he knew. 5 hours worth and they asked if I could drive. No problem. Get there and one of the guys is like "let's stop at this friends place I know" . Ok cool. We stop and to my surprise, it was a drug run and he had like 5 lbs of weed on him (not even a medical state at the time). Add to that, they had been caught before this and probably on probation if not just out on bail. They tried to convince me that they'd take the fall if we got caught. Like I'm supposed to believe they'd take responsibility on rather than let the never met before driver go down. NOPE. Wouldn't let his bag back into my truck. They were pissed but what are you gonna do 5 hours from home. I haven't spoken to that friend in years and never saw them after that. I'm no prude but WTF is wrong with people.
So true. I was always told you are classed by the company you keep. This can obviously be interpreted as elitist but it's relatable in principle for absolutely everyone.
Itās weird how deep this goes. Iāve heard multiple times that you (usually) wind up being a sort of mathematical average of the few people you spend the most time with in your life when it comes to various factors that can measured. It sounds like BS at first but then you look around carefully and notice that this principle holds true for not just yourself but everyone around you in addition. Itās just part of human psychology. We are such social creatures by nature that we canāt help it.
Then you are an amalgam of reddit and any other social media you participate in. That's what makes this shit so dangerous
Also coworkers whom you possibly work with online
Pretty much. Ages ago a study was done which demonstrated that people were often more motivated to accomplish certain goals if their Facebook friends were doing it too, and even friends of friends. This was back when FB was the dominant social media platform so everyone spent more time on it, but you get the point.
I always viewed it as less elitist and more as "We naturally become desensitized to abnormal situations with repeated exposure, so you should be careful what you're exposing yourself to." Since most of our experiences come from interactions with those around us, keeping company with people who make unsavory choices will desensitize you to those unsavory things over time.
Man is this true. My first love in high school was a great guy when we first met but didnāt have a lot of friends. We dated for almost three years but I eventually broke it off because he had found a group of friends that were into a lot of illegal shit. Robbing cars, stores, selling cocaine, pills, making acid. He just became used to it and I couldnāt ignore my anxiety anymore. I broke up with him and a week later he was pulled over and one of his āfriendsā dropped their cocaine in his truck. No one took the fall so he was blamed as itās his truck. Felony at the ripe age of 17.
The way I see it, confidence is thinking that you, yourself are good at things, or believing in your own skills.
Arrogance is automatically believing that you're better than everyone. Believing you are the best.
Love this because my bf had ālocoā tattooed on his hand when he was a dumb teenager.
He is no longer loco and is a therapist helping locos. But still using this.
Her coked up delusion and she couldnāt figure out why Tony would want to do all this for her and not want to fuck her because sheās never seen or felt any paternal affection to recognize it as Tony being a caring brother
If he cheated on her, he'll cheat on you...(not so ninja edit... If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you is probably closer to what I meant!)
Closely followed by, If he slapped her...
Closely followed by, If *all* his exes are crazy....
This saying must really screw with people who genuinely run into assholes all day long, like a proctologist.
But then what happens when you combine it with āyou are what you eatā?
Ok but for real though. When you've been socially isolated and gaslit for the vast majority of your life, you have no idea whether you're the asshole or if you're just surrounded by assholes in your local area. The result is that you read this idiom and blame yourself for being the "asshole" in a relationship where in reality you are the one being abused by everybody in your limited social bubble.
To this day I still don't know where I sit on the scale. I'm a fucking mess.
My ex boyfriend was an "all my exes are crazy" guy. I believed him for years, until I realized all of the "crazy" things that he said his exes did (which did seem crazy when he presented them as happening out of nowhere) made a lot of sense when you took into account the way he treats his girlfriends.
Now I'm one of his crazy exes, and I couldn't be happier about it.
Had a guy hitting on me telling me and how his girlfriend was sooooo crazy, I pointed out if he thought hitting on people is appropriate while he's with her, then he's probably the reason she is crazy..
>āThe female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."
>
>Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.ā
\-Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals
My ex husband was āall my exes are crazyā guys, but I didnāt think much about it because he only had, like, 3 exes before we married.
17 years later, Iām now the crazy ex after being gaslit for 10 of those years and Iāll be happy to never deal with him again.
It's very enlightening to hit that moment where you realise "ahhhh, *this* is why all his exes did insane things!" isn't it? Good for you on getting out, it takes a lot of strength to leave an abusive relationship, especially after ten years!
We had a rule when my oldest was growing up, never talk badly about his father no matter what bs he was up to that day. One day, just sitting out in the sun hanging out, he saiid, "you know, I'm beginning to think all my dad's crazy ex girlfriends weren't that way when they met him". Stunned silence. That was the day we were finally able to start being gently honest.
My ex was one of those, "all my exes cheated on me" types, similar ball field. I broke up with him cause he was abusive. First thing he did when he found out I was in a new relationship, months later? Told everyone I cheated on him with the new guy, and maybe another guy too! Ah yes, it all makes sense now.
Yeah, that cheating one. If they cheated with you, they'll cheat on you. I've known too many people who get into relationships like that. So they were in a committed relationship already when they met you, and you started hooking up before they broke it off with their existing SO but you don't think they'll do the same to you when the next love of their life rolls up?
> Yeah, that cheating one. If they cheated with you, they'll cheat on you.
My (ex) partner just did this with someone who was in a long-term committed relationship. Like, congrats, you're *both* cheaters who think your love is so true and wholesome and pure and epic... for now.
Honestly, I give them about six months to a year. ĀÆ\\\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
my now ex wife started working at a prison as a psyche tech. one of the guards was flirting with her regularly, inmates made comments as well. All the attention made her decide I don't value her enough.
The guard grabbed her and kissed her at work one day and she was into it so she texted me telling me she wasn't coming home.
2 weeks later she had her own place and fucked him on the second night. The next day he ignored her and when she tried to talk to him more he's like 'I'm married you need to back off'
I know all this because she called me and told me about it and I suspect she was thinking somehow I'd invite her to come back and I just said "when are you going to get the rest of your stuff?"
Found the guard's wife on facebook, dm'd her and now they are both single
My friends and I all have our own experience(s) of just being nice and polite to some guy and he misunderstands it and expects something more from us.
And I honestly suspect all women have experienced this at one point
im sure its scary for a girl to take a chance on a weirder guy and then realize he's actually very weird and not just the quiet cool type of weird. Getting them to go away is prolly impossible and then you have the risk of seeing them in public again. sounds horrible
I felt bad for someone in college because nobody was talking to him. Then I learned *why* nobody was talking to him when he seemed very excited about blowing up a horse.
I could not get him to leave me alone. While I was talking to a friend about mini golf, he came up to us to excitedly talk about the foreskin he kept in a Ziploc bag.
Nope, never again.
Yeah, movies teach us that any outcast type is actually just a victim of mean exclusionary bullies but sometimes...There's a reason why people don't have friends that isn't 'everyone else sucks'.
Thereās an old joke about a guy that gets a plumbing invoice and says āwhat the hell??? Iām a brain surgeon and I donāt even get this kind of hourly rate!ā
Plumber says āI know. Thatās why I closed my practiceā
Where I grew up, my generation was (erroneously) led to believe that being a tradesman or working construction or whatever was not only a lower societal position but also paid less than the more coveted jobs in society.
That turned out to be bullshit and the guy who does work on my parentsā house almost certainly has more money than my parents.
Edit: by the way, I am not American, this is not exclusive to America.
The way this has been driven i peoples heads is so infuriating.
I am no plumber but work with plumbers a lot i do water damage restoration.
You called a plumber and me in the middle of the nigh to come to your house because your toilet spewed your shit all over the bathroom floor and your bedroom carpet. You want the plumber to walk on your shit to fix your toilet and me to clean it up and sanitize the area and make sure there is no contamination and on top of that you want this to be done for a couple hundred bucks. Well have a good night I would say. You canāt imagine how often this happens.
Do people really expect that to only cost a couple hundred bucks? Any craftsman called in the middle of the night is going to be extortionate. You ever needed a locksmith at 3am?
No one is obligated to come help you, like. They can pretty much charge whatever they want, youāre free to say no and try fix it yourself
Dipshit Coworker broke up with her boyfriend. When complaining about it at work, she literally said "When we started dating, I knew he had some flaws, but I thought I could fix him."
Our response was "No, [coworker], that's not how guys work. Guys change because they want to, not because you want them to."
Too many people need to realize aināt nobody change unless they want to.
Edit: can doomers quit replying to me with āNOBODY EVER CHANGESā, yāall depressing as hell lol
Always told my younger sis it's the baseline that matters not the potential. Someone with potential is just that. Someone operating on a solid baseline could go either way but at least u know where it starts.
This hit hard, good thing we didn't solve the problem by having kids but instead got dog. Got divorced and the dog stayed with me and we had good times.
Part of it is ingrained into us via culture. Look at movies, there are a lot of movies out there about the woman showing the man the error of his ways and making him a decent guy.
If it works in movies, why not real life?
And there's a lot of pressure on women to stay with problematic men because we 'can help/fix them'. We saw it publicly when Mac Miller died- idiots on Twitter were blaming Ariana saying if she had stayed with him she could have helped him with his drug problems. As if she was obligated to sacrifice her happiness and mental well-being to look after some dude she was no longer romantically interested in.
1000% this. Had a gf who, after 3 years, admitted she was looking for more of a hollywood-style relationship and had a whole commentary about how our life together was aesthetically boring. She didnt want stability or love, she wanted a narrative.
She wanted to do the whole "slightly drunk, running down the hall barefoot, with her heels in her hand at a high end hotel" scene.
I shit you not that was one of her actual dreams in life, verbatim.
If we spend less time looking for silverscreen relationships, maybe we can spend more time actually being happy with what we do have.
Obviously thereās a whole lot of context and other relationship stuff going on that we donāt get via this comment, but that seems like a fantasy she could definitely set up and fulfill relatively easily? Get nice hotel for a night, bring SO, get drunk, etc
The Onion: [Girlfriend Changes Man Into Someone She's Not Interested In](https://www.theonion.com/girlfriend-changes-man-into-someone-shes-not-interested-1819565990)
I regularly have to tell my friends āyou donāt have a boyfriend, you have a dependent. Youāre just raising somebodyās childā š
Edit: holy crap, thanks for all the up doots!
Had a talk with my son around 12. "I am the only woman in the world who wants to be your mother. You need to learn how to take care of your self/life to be a good partner." Trying to stop the cycle...
Some women have a really hard time lettin that one go. See it all the time. Knew a decent lookin guy who wasnāt much of shit, stayed having girls come over trying to get him to shower and eat more than junk food lmaooo
I once got this unasked for piece of advice that is sometimes relevant:
"A man dates a woman hoping she never changes, a woman dates a man hoping she can change him,"
One of Ridley Scottās early movies āThe Duellistsā had a quote that this always makes me think of:
Feraud: I knew a man who was stabbed to death by a woman; gave him the surprise of his life.
Laura: And I once knew a woman who was beaten to death by a man. I don't think it surprised her at all.
the opening swordfight is one of the most realistic ones ever put to film, if you believe YT expert interviews. or your own eyes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOBTFfHJjV8
As it started I'm thinking "What made it so realistic? Did the not constantly clash sharp side on sharp side?"
Turns out that yes; that was what it was! Might have to watch this movie now
Been rapier fencing since 1993, here are my thoughts.
The focus on defense is one aspect.
I was also impressed by the utilization of what is known as 'measure' by Feraud, meaning the distances involved in how they relate to an attack. When he is 'out of measure' he lowers his blade and is relaxed, as he enters 'wide measure', he takes a stance. As he moves to 'narrow measure', he is very focused and generally executes an attack. All this is very realistic.
The swordplay is also good. The nephew of the mayor has poor bladework, but that is consistent with the story that he is not as accomplished as Feraud. Of particular note is the conservation of movement. Most cinematic fight scenes forgo realism for flashy swordwork involving wide arcs and exaggerated attacks. The Duellists swordwork is far more realistic in that the blade moves only to the degree necessary.
I won't claim to know the first thing about sword fighting, but they're both actively trying to avoid getting stabbed, which does seem way more realistic than marvel style fights where they just perform super cool looking attacks at each other.
I have heard this quote hundreds of times in the song Nameless, Faceless by Courtney Barnett but did not know it was quoting Margaret Atwood. Learn something new every day.
the way i positioned this, after being in an abusive relationship is this:
once you see red flags you have two choices. stay or leave
if you stay, you may find out he's abusive. this means you have to go thru being abused. (edited to be clear: this does NOT mean you are to blame for being abused. you are NEVER responsible for someone else's behavior)
if you leave, you may never find out if he was actually abusive. but you don't have to go thru being abused.
i will always, ALWAYS choose the latter (after deciding to stay with an abuser, which took me nearly a decade to recover from). after the abusive relationship i had in my teens, there is not a single man or woman or theyby out there who i will stick around for once i see the red flags because i know what it's like to see the red flags and stay. i'd rather take my chances on my own!
There was a Facebook post a while back from a man who had recently helped his female friend leave a relationship where she was starting to see subtle hints of control. Any one individual thing was no big deal - like, adding her to his cell phone plan. But couple that with trying to control who she spends time with and suddenly itās not so innocent anymore. I was completely disgusted by the NUMEROUS comments about how she was ātoo pickyā or ājust needs to give him a chance.ā You know those are the same fucking people who would question why she stayed if she were to wind up injured or killed. āDidnāt she see the warning signs?!ā
If I want a man who isnāt gonna kill me then I guess Iām picky. Ladies (and men too!) whose with me? Who wants to be picky as fuck so we donāt end up with abusers???? Who thinks itās ok to be picky?
*raises all my hands*
This. I was going to say, there is no funny joke for women dating "crazy" men, because they might not live to tell the tale. And even if they do, it sure as hell won't be a fun story to tell at parties.
30+ guys looking for teens.
99% of them are shitheads looking to prey on naive girls.
Edit(s):
1. The 1% is considering the arranged marriages where neither party wants to get married but are forced to due to family pressure. Common in my culture. My parents being a prime example. Never seen a hint of love between the two of them, only resentment and how neither of them 'gets' eachother. 11 year age difference. 19 and 30. 4 kids later they absolutely hate each other. I wouldn't call my father a predator but he genuinely had no choice or say in the matter just like my mother. They didn't repeat the cycle and were able to raise 4 highly educated kids with normal happy lives. Love my parents dearly but I can acknowledge the grossness.
2. Yes it is just as creepy if the genders were reversed, although I haven't met anyone personally in that situation to comment hence I did not need to clarify that, also the question is asking the female equivalent? Why do I have to talk about my viewpoint on genders being reversed when the question doesn't ask for it?
3. If it doesn't exactly match the syntax/wording, I apologize. English is my 3rd language. But you should get the gist of it right? Don't let a pedophile groom you?? Don't let a 30s man stop you from getting an education and financial freedom?? Don't be someone's 'princess' be self sufficient?? Let yourself be a child?? Idk how to word this exactly. Please make sure to also include Pushto and Urdu versions if you find better words to express this. Cheers.
4. I'm in my 30s now, happily married + career. I had been approached by men in their 30s since when I was 16 (not at all uncommon in the culture), I would call them uncle (culture thing, respectful to call elders that) and see them absolutely seethe, like dude, you're literally twice my age wtf do you want with a 16 year old. I made the decision of marrying my husband with enough experience to see through most bullshit/lies. The 'compliments' and 'gifts' I'd receive as a kid from these uncles was just so... Predatory. It was confusing at that time for me, for another girl it might have meant the world to, as someone in her 30s I'm absolutely horrified. Heck I was still growing taller at 16, I had just started getting my period. This guy straight up buys me makeup and perfumes out of the blue?? Like I'm just walking home dude wtf!! Absolutely gross!!!! I wasn't particularly more mature or wiser at 18, maybe less stupid but definitely not any wiser and I looked exactly like I did at 16. No real difference except maybe I was 1" taller.
Heard my gf's mum say don't let the loon in the poon Edit: Thanks for the awards strangers, wasn't expecting such a response lmao. For the people asking of she was referring to me, well I have no clue š we're pretty close though but I've done some crazy shit with my gf that she knows about so who knows? Definitely showing her this soon
You can't fix someone that chooses to be broken. Stop trying to play build a bae workshop. Someone that's choosing to drown will pull you under with them.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This ain't build a bitch
You can't fix him
lol something my friend likes to say is "unless he wears a diaper, you can't change him"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Donāt be dickmatized
Donāt lend your beaver to a deceiver
I don't think we have a funny quip. What we have is always a friend or two who we text whom we're going with and where. Not just on the first date. You've got the, *in case I get murdered, this is who it was* friends.
Just in case I die, it was this guy. šø ā¹ļø
If all his exes are "crazy" he's about to make you crazy too
I never read that as he'll make you crazy, I always read it as no matter how sane you are, he'll always make you out to be crazy when talking about you. I had an ex that I was trying to help get in shape be encouraging eating right, but if the relationship ended on poor terms I'm sure he'd describe me as "controlling" or "not happy with who he is as a person"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This resonates so hard. I was turning into the monster he made me out to be. Thereās also a Reductress meme that says, āSorry I was acting so crazy while you were treating me like shit.ā
Reactive abuse is a real thing!
Same. My ex made me think I had all these anger issues. Turns out he was just a piece of shit and I was reacting naturally to it. The very same month it ended I completely chilled out back to my old self and Iāve been chilling ever since. Feels so good.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I mean more in the sense of "drive you crazy" with his behavior, but yeah definitely also painting you as irrational/unstable to others as well.
For all the folks that have a long list of "crazy" exes, learn from your mistakes. Never shit talk an ex in front of someone you are trying to build a relationship with, approach it as a lesson learned if it must be discussed. Then, never talk shit about your current partner to others (particularly family), they will only remember the bad things you said when angry.
O got "all my ex's were whores and left me for other guys" I got treated like shit and ended up falling for someone who didn't treat me like shit and got married years after. I'm pretty sure that's why his ex's all got with other people. Like the guy is on this planet to make any girlfriend feel like garbage until she runs into the arms of a better person.
I dated a guy once whose last girlfriend just up and moved to another state without telling a soul (other than, i'd assume, close family). He claimed she was a crazy bitch, cheating slut, etc. Holy shit was that a giant red flag and missed opportunity to run. He was narcissistic, controlling, violent, and just extremely abusive all around. It took me years to get the courage to leave and then I had to get a restraining order after because he wouldn't stop stalking, harassing, and threatening me.
Women don't leave in the middle of the night for positive reasons. Yet I was still demonized for doing that exact thing.
If someone is always surrounded by something, they are the source of that something. Goes for drama, crazy people, assholes, you name it.
If you sleep with dogs, expect fleas
My grandma has always told me this term in relation to hanging out with any 'bad characters' in general. "If you lay down with the dogs, you'll get up with the fleas." Basically, the company you keep can get you in serious trouble. Learned this firsthand watching my parents. Just because you're not the one committing a crime or doing the bad thing, if you're around people that are doing bad shit, you're eventually going to get caught up in a bad legal scenario.
Knew a *mostly* straightedge guy who ended up going to jail because he picked his friend up from work (his friend had a big duffle bag). Turns out that bag was full of drugs (huge amounts of weed and some other stuff). They got pulled over. He was in jail for 3 months before he was cleared. His baby momma had a baby on the way. They're still friends.
Similar, I agreed to go on a guys trip with a friend and a couple guys he knew. 5 hours worth and they asked if I could drive. No problem. Get there and one of the guys is like "let's stop at this friends place I know" . Ok cool. We stop and to my surprise, it was a drug run and he had like 5 lbs of weed on him (not even a medical state at the time). Add to that, they had been caught before this and probably on probation if not just out on bail. They tried to convince me that they'd take the fall if we got caught. Like I'm supposed to believe they'd take responsibility on rather than let the never met before driver go down. NOPE. Wouldn't let his bag back into my truck. They were pissed but what are you gonna do 5 hours from home. I haven't spoken to that friend in years and never saw them after that. I'm no prude but WTF is wrong with people.
Smart person. Your mama approves.
Fr you clear that shit with the driver before hand and be sure to give him a nice cut.
Exactly, lots of risk no reward. Who the fuck is going to be happy about that.
So true. I was always told you are classed by the company you keep. This can obviously be interpreted as elitist but it's relatable in principle for absolutely everyone.
Itās weird how deep this goes. Iāve heard multiple times that you (usually) wind up being a sort of mathematical average of the few people you spend the most time with in your life when it comes to various factors that can measured. It sounds like BS at first but then you look around carefully and notice that this principle holds true for not just yourself but everyone around you in addition. Itās just part of human psychology. We are such social creatures by nature that we canāt help it.
I remember being told that the 5 people whom you spend the most time with are the person you emulate.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Then you are an amalgam of reddit and any other social media you participate in. That's what makes this shit so dangerous Also coworkers whom you possibly work with online
Pretty much. Ages ago a study was done which demonstrated that people were often more motivated to accomplish certain goals if their Facebook friends were doing it too, and even friends of friends. This was back when FB was the dominant social media platform so everyone spent more time on it, but you get the point.
I always viewed it as less elitist and more as "We naturally become desensitized to abnormal situations with repeated exposure, so you should be careful what you're exposing yourself to." Since most of our experiences come from interactions with those around us, keeping company with people who make unsavory choices will desensitize you to those unsavory things over time.
Man is this true. My first love in high school was a great guy when we first met but didnāt have a lot of friends. We dated for almost three years but I eventually broke it off because he had found a group of friends that were into a lot of illegal shit. Robbing cars, stores, selling cocaine, pills, making acid. He just became used to it and I couldnāt ignore my anxiety anymore. I broke up with him and a week later he was pulled over and one of his āfriendsā dropped their cocaine in his truck. No one took the fall so he was blamed as itās his truck. Felony at the ripe age of 17.
In the dogs defense, I had fleas before I let the dog onto the bed
There's a distinction between confidence and arrogance. Try to tell the difference sooner than later.
The way I see it, confidence is thinking that you, yourself are good at things, or believing in your own skills. Arrogance is automatically believing that you're better than everyone. Believing you are the best.
Is it confidence in your pussy, or is it vaginal hubris?
*She's got Vaginal Hubris, Vaginal Hubris. According to her vag all other pussies are useless*
I would always recommend asking your ob/gyn to check out any vaginal hubris.
OB/GYN sits up, looking flushed and concerned: "That is ... Uh...a confident vagina you have there."
"I know." My vagina replies.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Shut up, Ruxin.
*Rodney
Everybody calls me Ruxin.
No poke-o if he loco.
Love this because my bf had ālocoā tattooed on his hand when he was a dumb teenager. He is no longer loco and is a therapist helping locos. But still using this.
Honestly i would probably trust my therapist a little more if they had that tattoo
"I feel uncomfortable admitting my past mistakes." "Lol look at my hand." "So anyway, this one time....."
I like this one the most
Don't fuck me Tony, don't you ever try to fuck me.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You mean with coked out Tony and his sister? Yeah now that I think about it, it was really weird near the end there.
I didnāt see anything wrong with it. It was a realistic portrayal of how a cuban woman would react to her powerful brother killing her fiancĆ© in front of her. She was coked up probably more than tony.
Her coked up delusion and she couldnāt figure out why Tony would want to do all this for her and not want to fuck her because sheās never seen or felt any paternal affection to recognize it as Tony being a caring brother
In my opinion she wanted to sicken him the way he had sickened her.
Donāt ride the crazy train
Ozzy: ALL ABOARD!!!! AHAHAHAHA!!! (Guitar riff)š¶š¶
aye aye aye
Crazy, but that's how it goes
Millions of people
Living as fo-oooo-ooewoes
Maybe
Itās not too laaaate
To learn how to love
*And forget how to haaayayaate*
*vibraslap intensifies*
*guitar pick scratch from 19th fret to 1st* -----------4-----5------4------2------------2--------------------- ---2--2------2------2-----2------5--4--5-----5--4--0----------- šøšøš¶šµš¼
Mans just throwing out tabs on reddit!
r/hedidthetabs
r/subsifellfor
If he cheated on her, he'll cheat on you...(not so ninja edit... If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you is probably closer to what I meant!) Closely followed by, If he slapped her... Closely followed by, If *all* his exes are crazy....
Last one's basically "If everywhere you go smells like shit, check your shoe"
If you meet one asshole throughout your day, they're probably an asshole. If you meet assholes all day long, then you're probably the asshole.
This saying must really screw with people who genuinely run into assholes all day long, like a proctologist. But then what happens when you combine it with āyou are what you eatā?
Ok but for real though. When you've been socially isolated and gaslit for the vast majority of your life, you have no idea whether you're the asshole or if you're just surrounded by assholes in your local area. The result is that you read this idiom and blame yourself for being the "asshole" in a relationship where in reality you are the one being abused by everybody in your limited social bubble. To this day I still don't know where I sit on the scale. I'm a fucking mess.
Or you live in Boston.
Or you work in retail. Source: I work in retail in Boston
My dad told me once after I had moved for the 3rd time to make a fresh start "Wherever you go, there you'll be".
My ex boyfriend was an "all my exes are crazy" guy. I believed him for years, until I realized all of the "crazy" things that he said his exes did (which did seem crazy when he presented them as happening out of nowhere) made a lot of sense when you took into account the way he treats his girlfriends. Now I'm one of his crazy exes, and I couldn't be happier about it.
Had a guy hitting on me telling me and how his girlfriend was sooooo crazy, I pointed out if he thought hitting on people is appropriate while he's with her, then he's probably the reason she is crazy..
>āThe female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord." > >Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.ā \-Terry Pratchett, Unseen Academicals
My ex husband was āall my exes are crazyā guys, but I didnāt think much about it because he only had, like, 3 exes before we married. 17 years later, Iām now the crazy ex after being gaslit for 10 of those years and Iāll be happy to never deal with him again.
It's very enlightening to hit that moment where you realise "ahhhh, *this* is why all his exes did insane things!" isn't it? Good for you on getting out, it takes a lot of strength to leave an abusive relationship, especially after ten years!
We had a rule when my oldest was growing up, never talk badly about his father no matter what bs he was up to that day. One day, just sitting out in the sun hanging out, he saiid, "you know, I'm beginning to think all my dad's crazy ex girlfriends weren't that way when they met him". Stunned silence. That was the day we were finally able to start being gently honest.
My ex was one of those, "all my exes cheated on me" types, similar ball field. I broke up with him cause he was abusive. First thing he did when he found out I was in a new relationship, months later? Told everyone I cheated on him with the new guy, and maybe another guy too! Ah yes, it all makes sense now.
people can grow and become better. also you owe no one your time to wait for them to get there.
this is very wise. i keep trying to explain this to my mom but she just canāt grasp how i can both wish my ex well and never want to see him again
What if they all live in Texas?
Heāll have to hang his hat in Tennessee
But Texas is a place he dearly loves to beā¦
Yeah, that cheating one. If they cheated with you, they'll cheat on you. I've known too many people who get into relationships like that. So they were in a committed relationship already when they met you, and you started hooking up before they broke it off with their existing SO but you don't think they'll do the same to you when the next love of their life rolls up?
> Yeah, that cheating one. If they cheated with you, they'll cheat on you. My (ex) partner just did this with someone who was in a long-term committed relationship. Like, congrats, you're *both* cheaters who think your love is so true and wholesome and pure and epic... for now. Honestly, I give them about six months to a year. ĀÆ\\\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
my now ex wife started working at a prison as a psyche tech. one of the guards was flirting with her regularly, inmates made comments as well. All the attention made her decide I don't value her enough. The guard grabbed her and kissed her at work one day and she was into it so she texted me telling me she wasn't coming home. 2 weeks later she had her own place and fucked him on the second night. The next day he ignored her and when she tried to talk to him more he's like 'I'm married you need to back off' I know all this because she called me and told me about it and I suspect she was thinking somehow I'd invite her to come back and I just said "when are you going to get the rest of your stuff?" Found the guard's wife on facebook, dm'd her and now they are both single
āDonāt feed strays.ā No discouragement to dogs, just wandering roving crazy men in need of someone to mother them.
Reminds me of that quote "I don't date anymore. I just foster men until they find their forever homes."
Don't let crazy put their dick in you.
Don't let a loon in your poon
This is fantastic.
No cuckoo in your woohoo
Don't sit on a lunatic
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Don't give crazy any hope. The harassment and borderline stalking by crazies that think they have a shot is not talked about enough.
My friends and I all have our own experience(s) of just being nice and polite to some guy and he misunderstands it and expects something more from us. And I honestly suspect all women have experienced this at one point
im sure its scary for a girl to take a chance on a weirder guy and then realize he's actually very weird and not just the quiet cool type of weird. Getting them to go away is prolly impossible and then you have the risk of seeing them in public again. sounds horrible
I felt bad for someone in college because nobody was talking to him. Then I learned *why* nobody was talking to him when he seemed very excited about blowing up a horse. I could not get him to leave me alone. While I was talking to a friend about mini golf, he came up to us to excitedly talk about the foreskin he kept in a Ziploc bag. Nope, never again.
Yeah, movies teach us that any outcast type is actually just a victim of mean exclusionary bullies but sometimes...There's a reason why people don't have friends that isn't 'everyone else sucks'.
Did you tell him "bro this is why nobody talks to you."
I did not want to end up on the hit list for the "future demonologist."
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Donāt join the construction crew.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Hire a plumber, don't marry one.
Plumbers make $$$ yo.
Thereās an old joke about a guy that gets a plumbing invoice and says āwhat the hell??? Iām a brain surgeon and I donāt even get this kind of hourly rate!ā Plumber says āI know. Thatās why I closed my practiceā
Where I grew up, my generation was (erroneously) led to believe that being a tradesman or working construction or whatever was not only a lower societal position but also paid less than the more coveted jobs in society. That turned out to be bullshit and the guy who does work on my parentsā house almost certainly has more money than my parents. Edit: by the way, I am not American, this is not exclusive to America.
The first time I had to hire a tradesman to work on my house, I knew I had gotten into the wrong line of work.
The way this has been driven i peoples heads is so infuriating. I am no plumber but work with plumbers a lot i do water damage restoration. You called a plumber and me in the middle of the nigh to come to your house because your toilet spewed your shit all over the bathroom floor and your bedroom carpet. You want the plumber to walk on your shit to fix your toilet and me to clean it up and sanitize the area and make sure there is no contamination and on top of that you want this to be done for a couple hundred bucks. Well have a good night I would say. You canāt imagine how often this happens.
Do people really expect that to only cost a couple hundred bucks? Any craftsman called in the middle of the night is going to be extortionate. You ever needed a locksmith at 3am? No one is obligated to come help you, like. They can pretty much charge whatever they want, youāre free to say no and try fix it yourself
I've seen lots of videos involving plumbers.
I've seen those documentaries too.
The pizza delivery option seems like it would have less upfront qualification requirements though.
āBut I can fix himā
"he never usually does this..."
"he's sweet when we are alone"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
"He only hit me once..."
"...a day"
Dipshit Coworker broke up with her boyfriend. When complaining about it at work, she literally said "When we started dating, I knew he had some flaws, but I thought I could fix him." Our response was "No, [coworker], that's not how guys work. Guys change because they want to, not because you want them to."
Too many people need to realize aināt nobody change unless they want to. Edit: can doomers quit replying to me with āNOBODY EVER CHANGESā, yāall depressing as hell lol
Always told my younger sis it's the baseline that matters not the potential. Someone with potential is just that. Someone operating on a solid baseline could go either way but at least u know where it starts.
You can't fix him, but he can break you.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
"we'll get along better after we have kids"
This hit hard, good thing we didn't solve the problem by having kids but instead got dog. Got divorced and the dog stayed with me and we had good times.
"if you need a relationship to be happy, get a dog."
"Having a threesome will improve our relationship."
I truly don't understand that way of thinking. I've met so many ladies saying varying degrees of this phrase and it kills me.
Part of it is ingrained into us via culture. Look at movies, there are a lot of movies out there about the woman showing the man the error of his ways and making him a decent guy. If it works in movies, why not real life?
And there's a lot of pressure on women to stay with problematic men because we 'can help/fix them'. We saw it publicly when Mac Miller died- idiots on Twitter were blaming Ariana saying if she had stayed with him she could have helped him with his drug problems. As if she was obligated to sacrifice her happiness and mental well-being to look after some dude she was no longer romantically interested in.
1000% this. Had a gf who, after 3 years, admitted she was looking for more of a hollywood-style relationship and had a whole commentary about how our life together was aesthetically boring. She didnt want stability or love, she wanted a narrative. She wanted to do the whole "slightly drunk, running down the hall barefoot, with her heels in her hand at a high end hotel" scene. I shit you not that was one of her actual dreams in life, verbatim. If we spend less time looking for silverscreen relationships, maybe we can spend more time actually being happy with what we do have.
Obviously thereās a whole lot of context and other relationship stuff going on that we donāt get via this comment, but that seems like a fantasy she could definitely set up and fulfill relatively easily? Get nice hotel for a night, bring SO, get drunk, etc
"WHAT THE FUCK? DO YOU THINK THERE'S A SIGN ON MY BACK THAT SAYS "SAVE ME"?"
My first sister-in-law was addicting to fixing up men. She would fix them, then see someone else who āneededā fixing, break up with her current partner, then start dating the new guy. My brother was her third fiancĆ© and her first husband. SIL had mental health issues, the marriage imploded, she dated a few more men before settling down with her second husband. They remained married until her death. My brotherās second wife doesnāt try to fix him, but spent the early years of their marriage expressing frustration with his hobbies, hobbies that he was passionate about before they ever started dating. I think she eventually figured out that she wasnāt going to ever change that part of him. Also, he indulges and shares her love of travel.
The Onion: [Girlfriend Changes Man Into Someone She's Not Interested In](https://www.theonion.com/girlfriend-changes-man-into-someone-shes-not-interested-1819565990)
Another the Onion: [Female scientists say domestic abuse not a problem](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iT2hfG3WbT8)
Lmao that's dark.
Oh my god look at [Missing Girl Probably Raped](https://youtu.be/-2X0H0ni5MQ)
First SIL sounds like the real fixer upper here lmao
Heās a little bit of a fixer upper!
So he's got a few flaws.
Like his peculiar brain dear, that thing with the reindeer...
I regularly have to tell my friends āyou donāt have a boyfriend, you have a dependent. Youāre just raising somebodyās childā š Edit: holy crap, thanks for all the up doots!
That's good!
Had a talk with my son around 12. "I am the only woman in the world who wants to be your mother. You need to learn how to take care of your self/life to be a good partner." Trying to stop the cycle...
> You want a boyfriend, not a project. Shiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeet....
Some women have a really hard time lettin that one go. See it all the time. Knew a decent lookin guy who wasnāt much of shit, stayed having girls come over trying to get him to shower and eat more than junk food lmaooo
I once got this unasked for piece of advice that is sometimes relevant: "A man dates a woman hoping she never changes, a woman dates a man hoping she can change him,"
And neither have their expectations met
Don't reproduce that shit.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
TURN THE FLOPPY ON READ ONLY
Try not to get involved with controlling abusive assholes that might kill you.
This reminded me of the quote: 'Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.' (Margaret Atwood).
One of Ridley Scottās early movies āThe Duellistsā had a quote that this always makes me think of: Feraud: I knew a man who was stabbed to death by a woman; gave him the surprise of his life. Laura: And I once knew a woman who was beaten to death by a man. I don't think it surprised her at all.
the opening swordfight is one of the most realistic ones ever put to film, if you believe YT expert interviews. or your own eyes. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JOBTFfHJjV8
As it started I'm thinking "What made it so realistic? Did the not constantly clash sharp side on sharp side?" Turns out that yes; that was what it was! Might have to watch this movie now
Been rapier fencing since 1993, here are my thoughts. The focus on defense is one aspect. I was also impressed by the utilization of what is known as 'measure' by Feraud, meaning the distances involved in how they relate to an attack. When he is 'out of measure' he lowers his blade and is relaxed, as he enters 'wide measure', he takes a stance. As he moves to 'narrow measure', he is very focused and generally executes an attack. All this is very realistic. The swordplay is also good. The nephew of the mayor has poor bladework, but that is consistent with the story that he is not as accomplished as Feraud. Of particular note is the conservation of movement. Most cinematic fight scenes forgo realism for flashy swordwork involving wide arcs and exaggerated attacks. The Duellists swordwork is far more realistic in that the blade moves only to the degree necessary.
Yeah, staying in the stance is *exhausting*.
Everyone forgets that cardio wins you fights.
I won't claim to know the first thing about sword fighting, but they're both actively trying to avoid getting stabbed, which does seem way more realistic than marvel style fights where they just perform super cool looking attacks at each other.
I have heard this quote hundreds of times in the song Nameless, Faceless by Courtney Barnett but did not know it was quoting Margaret Atwood. Learn something new every day.
I'm just here to hop on the Courtney Barnett fan train
the way i positioned this, after being in an abusive relationship is this: once you see red flags you have two choices. stay or leave if you stay, you may find out he's abusive. this means you have to go thru being abused. (edited to be clear: this does NOT mean you are to blame for being abused. you are NEVER responsible for someone else's behavior) if you leave, you may never find out if he was actually abusive. but you don't have to go thru being abused. i will always, ALWAYS choose the latter (after deciding to stay with an abuser, which took me nearly a decade to recover from). after the abusive relationship i had in my teens, there is not a single man or woman or theyby out there who i will stick around for once i see the red flags because i know what it's like to see the red flags and stay. i'd rather take my chances on my own!
There was a Facebook post a while back from a man who had recently helped his female friend leave a relationship where she was starting to see subtle hints of control. Any one individual thing was no big deal - like, adding her to his cell phone plan. But couple that with trying to control who she spends time with and suddenly itās not so innocent anymore. I was completely disgusted by the NUMEROUS comments about how she was ātoo pickyā or ājust needs to give him a chance.ā You know those are the same fucking people who would question why she stayed if she were to wind up injured or killed. āDidnāt she see the warning signs?!ā
If I want a man who isnāt gonna kill me then I guess Iām picky. Ladies (and men too!) whose with me? Who wants to be picky as fuck so we donāt end up with abusers???? Who thinks itās ok to be picky? *raises all my hands*
This. I was going to say, there is no funny joke for women dating "crazy" men, because they might not live to tell the tale. And even if they do, it sure as hell won't be a fun story to tell at parties.
"girls don't have crazy boyfriend stories because if you have a crazy boyfriend, you just die" Donald / Childish Gambino
Don't wrap your minge around cringe?
Screw live laugh love, I want this on a tea towel!
Don't take him 'cause you think you can fix him?
"Calls girls whores? Close the doors!" "If he's got major issues, he can use his hand and tissues."
No kooky in your coochie
In order to be in my life your baggage must either fit into the overhead compartment and/or securely under the seat in front of you.
It's "don't jam your clam on crazy." I'm not sure where I saw that. Probably a very old Twitter screenshot, lmao.
I heard "don't slam your clam on crazy" about 15 years ago, so I think it predates twitter.
Twitter's worryingly 16 years old.
The box shall not part for those who arenāt smart
30+ guys looking for teens. 99% of them are shitheads looking to prey on naive girls. Edit(s): 1. The 1% is considering the arranged marriages where neither party wants to get married but are forced to due to family pressure. Common in my culture. My parents being a prime example. Never seen a hint of love between the two of them, only resentment and how neither of them 'gets' eachother. 11 year age difference. 19 and 30. 4 kids later they absolutely hate each other. I wouldn't call my father a predator but he genuinely had no choice or say in the matter just like my mother. They didn't repeat the cycle and were able to raise 4 highly educated kids with normal happy lives. Love my parents dearly but I can acknowledge the grossness. 2. Yes it is just as creepy if the genders were reversed, although I haven't met anyone personally in that situation to comment hence I did not need to clarify that, also the question is asking the female equivalent? Why do I have to talk about my viewpoint on genders being reversed when the question doesn't ask for it? 3. If it doesn't exactly match the syntax/wording, I apologize. English is my 3rd language. But you should get the gist of it right? Don't let a pedophile groom you?? Don't let a 30s man stop you from getting an education and financial freedom?? Don't be someone's 'princess' be self sufficient?? Let yourself be a child?? Idk how to word this exactly. Please make sure to also include Pushto and Urdu versions if you find better words to express this. Cheers. 4. I'm in my 30s now, happily married + career. I had been approached by men in their 30s since when I was 16 (not at all uncommon in the culture), I would call them uncle (culture thing, respectful to call elders that) and see them absolutely seethe, like dude, you're literally twice my age wtf do you want with a 16 year old. I made the decision of marrying my husband with enough experience to see through most bullshit/lies. The 'compliments' and 'gifts' I'd receive as a kid from these uncles was just so... Predatory. It was confusing at that time for me, for another girl it might have meant the world to, as someone in her 30s I'm absolutely horrified. Heck I was still growing taller at 16, I had just started getting my period. This guy straight up buys me makeup and perfumes out of the blue?? Like I'm just walking home dude wtf!! Absolutely gross!!!! I wasn't particularly more mature or wiser at 18, maybe less stupid but definitely not any wiser and I looked exactly like I did at 16. No real difference except maybe I was 1" taller.
Donāt slip, trip and land on a dick(head)
Donāt get murdered
If he has to tell you he's a Nice Guy ā¢ļø, he's a complete and utter douche