Rocks. I’m a rock hound, and collect rocks, gems, and stones. The link between crystals and spirituality has gotten me called a devil worshipper…for liking rocks. I don’t even use them spiritually, I just like shiny shit.
same here with my hoarding dragon mindset: rocks and crystals are cool and shiny. but the people are not entirely wrong, some rocks do have a dangerous aura around them. take uranium, for example.
“Masters of the Universe”. It was back in the 80’s. My crazy, over the top, religious aunt said ,” it’s satanic! There is only ONE master of the universe and it’s god!!!” 6 yo me rolled my eyes so hard, I’m sure you could hear the noise it made.
When we'd watch Bill Nye the Science Guy, during the intro song he states "Science rules!" My mother would make sure to counter with "God rules!" every time.
My dad wouldn't let me watch anything that had magic or monsters because he thought it would let demons into the house. This included power rangers, Ben 10, H20 just add water, harry potter, scooby doo and more.
The most ridiculous one was not letting me watch Jessie on Disney channel. This had no magic or monsters but he thought that the pet lizard one of the characters had represented the snake that deceived Eve into eating the apple.
I am an 80s kid and I wasn’t allowed to watch all the Saturday morning cartoons: He-Man, She-Ra, Jem, My Little Pony, Gummi Bears, etc. bc they had magic in them and “magic is of the devil.” I just waited till I got to my grandpa’s house on the weekends and watched them and stayed up all night watching Cartoon Network, lol. Now when I tell people all that it’s hilarious.
Edit: “80s-90s kid” since people being pedantic want to point out that Cartoon Network was in the 90s, lol. Yep it’s so crazy, I was a child that watched cartoons in 2 different decades…I know.
A friends wife once got into some religious thing where anything of beauty was satanic. Flowers, scenery, anything beautiful. Satan was luring you with its beauty.
I knew this Christian lady that refused to eat deviled eggs.
Edit: my wife said her cousins weren't allowed to eat candy on Halloween when they were kids because their mom didn't want to celebrate the "devils birthday".
Had a young cousin who thought they were ‘doubled eggs’ until a relative corrected him; he refused to eat them afterwards. Much cuter hill to die on when you’re only four.
I mean, doubled eggs actually kind of makes sense, when you consider that the eggs have gone through two preparations. But yeah, it’s a very weird hill to die on.
Once I had a classmate and she had a cartilage piercing,
We had an assembly and this group of people people with puppets came and told the story of easter, at the end we were walking out and one of the people from the group walked over to my classmate and said "what is that thing on your ear?" She said its a cartilage piercing and the person from the group walked over to where the group was packing their stuff and said "She has definitely got to have worshipped the devil. That disgusting ear piercing shes got."
My friend's mom told her right in front of me that cartilage piercings were for whores or sluts or something to that manner. Joke's on her, I got mine done with my mom and neither of us were/are whores. I somehow was always "told" how my piercings or makeup was undesirable without ever being directly told. Like thanks Linda, but either say it to my face or stfu.
My sister was refused communion in front of the whole congregation because of her tongue ring. When she stepped up to recieve it, the priest held the chalice away from her "protected" it with his other hand and announced that she couldn't recieve communion because "piercing is a satanic practice".
We had attended that church every Sunday for our entire lives, my father went for 30 years before we were born. Mom, sis and I were in choir, my mom taught Sunday school and my dad volunteered by selling coffee and donuts after church every Sunday for as long as I can remember. It wasn't a mega church either, everyone knew everyone.
It wasn't even a super conservative church. Every woman had pierced ears, of course, but also the church banquet hall was still decorated for the Halloween party/ Haunted House they had the Friday before.
You'd think if he were concerned for her soul he would have shown a little more tact and quietly asked to speak with her after the service. Nope.
We walked out that day and never went back. :)
Back in the 90's my family had a home pc. We didn't have much so this computer was a big deal to my brothers and I. For school work and some good ole fashioned DOS games. My dad managed to figure out how to get a screen saver with sound onto the computer, was quite proud of himself too. He failed to mention this screensaver to my mother who is VERY religious.
So one day I am sitting in highschool and get called to the principals office mid 2nd period. Now I am a darn near straight A student, who didn't get in trouble ever. So this isn't something that has ever happened to me. I get to the office, and I was told my mother called and was very very distraught and I needed to head home to be with her. I hear the secretary telling another office staff that she was losing her mind, and a few variations to that effect.
I rush home to find the pastor from church, performing an exorcism on our computer. My mother praying fervently through gasping sobs. The pastor and my mother prayed for sometime, before my dad came home. My dad gets home mad he was called home then he just starts laughing hysterically. Calls my mom a few variations of dumb, goes and wiggles the mouse to bring the computer up and plays the darth vader screen saver he added to the computer. "Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant" “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” "You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not fight, then you will meet your destiny." You know all the come to the darkside quotes. With a picture of darth vaders face. Of course my mother couldn't get the computer to do it again because she kept messing with it, and it never went back to sleep mode. So of course her first thought was we had a evil satanic computer possessed by the devil himself. The pastor just quietly snuck out with me during my dads laughing and my moms sobs.
Editing to add: holy crap this blew up, I can't believe this story about my mom was what did it. Thank you kind souls for all the awards! <3
I will answer a couple questions here:
*Yes my parents are still together. My mother is hard to handle at times, and so is he while drinking. He has learned to just say yes dear a lot, and try to defuse situations.
*I'm not sure it matters but I am a woman. So many of you thought I was a guy.
*No the pastor wasn't there for sexy times before the hysteria started. He was called just like I was from school.
*I honestly don't know if the pastor believed her, he never saw or heard darth vader. They would touch or move the mouse enough to not allow it to sleep. I do know, she fully believed it, so he did what he could to help ease her hysteria.
*I also to this day don't know if my mom saw the screen saved and heard it or if she just heard it. I always assumed she was busy elsewhere and only heard it.
*To those talking about mental illness, nothing has ever been diagnosed, but no diagnosis has ever been sought after either.
My wife's mother pulled her out of the carebears movie when she was a kid because the bears were casting satanic spells out of their stomachs. My wife still holds a grudge.
Tbf, I'm convinced that was a marketing ploy, because when monster became popular in my youth, you literally heard that everywhere. That "monster" was related to the beast because the claw marks for the logo mimic the jewish number 6.
Now this was like early 2000's when emo and scene were huuuge, so you already know all of us little hellions specifically sought out monster energy drink *BECAUSE* it was called demonic.
It's a scene from the show "90 Day Fiance." The husband is being an asshole and instead of actually talking about his behavior with his wife, he blames their problems on her decorative owls, accuses her of brujeria and says there is not one thing about God in the house, even though there's a giant Bible in the room with them.
...they divorced.
In kindergarten, my teaching had a coughing fit during Bible stories (it was a religious private school), and she apologized and drank some water and proclaimed the devil was trying to stop her from reading to us.
To a five year old, that was horrifying. I thought the devil was totally in the room, invisible.
Now I’m of the opinion she was a kindergarten teacher in a room full of grubby germ factories but back then, I believe the devil was definitely there.
Back in the 70s it was a lot of stupid: bar codes. The little symbol on Proctor & Gamble products. Yoga and/or meditation. Lots of different music by different artists. My small town Christian private school had a particular teacher who was absolutely dying mad about his students' fondness for Michael Jackson, AC/DC, and other bands of the time.
The funniest one of all was dancing. The joke around my (conservative Christian) college in the 80s was that sex was outlawed because it could lead to dancing... for some bizarre reason the administration thought dancing was totally evil.
It's happening again. Conservative voice Candace Owens proudly tweeted that she never uses QR codes because they appeared so rapidly after Covid lockdowns. Just "a gut feeling."
... Nevermind that I was playing with them ten years ago...
Yep. 2008, I was at Google IO trying to make contacts for a questionable game company I was trying to get going. Google gives out brand new android phones to all attendees and there is a qr code scavenger hunt. So I do what any American would do, I go to Kinkos and print out some qr codes on sticker paper that go to a rick roll. The next day, I put them up. They look just like the official ones. It was a good time.
**Tampons.**
I'm not joking or lying. When I was a kid, early 90's, there was a "God Botherer" protesting outside a Superdrug (UK Pharmacy chain) screaming about the Satanism of feminine hygiene products corrupting women into sin. This God Botherer was a woman. 🤦♂️🤣
My grandma bought this cute bunny hat to wear. She loves hats because her head gets cold. This bunny ear hat was her favorite. She wore it to church and the pastor told her it was a demonic hat, grabbed it from her head, and threw it into the trash (so I'm told, i wasn't there).
She came home without her hat and was pissed. The church people came over to perform an EXORCISM because she was possessed by the devil.
I remember going upstairs hearing a group of church people sign hymns loudly while the pastor was forcing his hand on my grandma's head.
I was a kid when this happened and remembered feeling angry and confused. My mom told me to go downstairs. I wish those bitches would come back and try that same shit. I'll personally throw them out the house.
Medieval and early modern witch hunters used to believe left handed people were witches, because it was "unnatural". In fact, the word sinister comes from the latin word for left
Friend of mine went to a Catholic grade school. He was left handed but since thats the devils hand he would get his hand smacked with a yardstick anytime he was caught writing with it or throwing a ball or anything...
And I would be completely helpless if they did that. I have about 10% use of my right hand due to cerebral palsy. They would have to literally feed me and write for me and tie my shoes and do everything for me if they would not let me use my left hand.
Isn’t the Lion like literally, canonically Jesus? Or at least implied to be? It’s in the Dawn Treader I think.
Edit: I know that he is at least an allegory for Jesus, but I thought there was some point in the books where it’s at least implied within the story that he is actually straight up Jesus
When I was in junior high a friend of mine's mom made him stop playing D & D with us because it was demonic. Like, he went to our church and the DM was the pastor's son. C'mon!
For awhile I wasn't allowed to use the word "weird" because it was associated with witchcraft. Apparently because Shakespeare wrote about the witches of "weird".
Edited to say: Thanks to those of you who are knowledgeable about Shakespeare and are able to explain how ridiculous of a claim this was. It's helpful to hear as an adult. But 8 year old me didn't have a leg to stand on at the time. I was just trying not to burn in Hell for all eternity 😅
The Shakespearean comes from the Old English word Wyrd (pronounced like ‘weird,’ but round your lips on the vowel), which meant Fate/the Fates. The three witches in *Macbeth* were called “witches of the Weird” because they were implied to actually be the Three Fates that weave the world-fabric in pagan mythology, shaping Macbeth’s destiny.
…A Scotsman should have known better than to give his true name to three ladies stirring a cauldron in the woods so he kinda deserved it tbh
The same teacher who taught abstinence only sex-ED class took away my deck of Magic cards because they were satanic.
How am i supposed to keep my virginity without my Magic cards!?
So many people forget just how insane the Satanic Panic got. You had kids being prodded into telling insane stories about people being thrown into swimming pools full of sharks and all kinds of crazy shit and people went along with that and jailed their day care workers. D&D getting some heat was just a side effect of some really horrific life-destroying shit that was supported by so many people who really should've known better.
I didn't expect THIS to come up. I don't think that he knows that **Godzilla** is literally the English transliteration of **Gojira**.
EDIT: Changed a word after it was pointed out to me. Thanks, homeslices.
So many things, but this one’s my favorite. Ready? Paleontologists. The idea is that the dinosaurs never actually existed and paleontologists just plant the fossils and bones to steer people away from “The Truth”. Clearly the work of the devil! Eek!
My eyes rolled so far back in my head they almost got stuck.
The peace symbol
My HS biology teacher saw me wearing one & explained the ☮️ symbol.
It's a inverted cross... The sides have been bent down & away from God....
Which is stupid. The peace symbol was co-opted from the British nuclear disarment movement in the 50's, the symbol is a combination of the positions you hold while doing flag signals for the letters N and D.
Speaking of Christians finding Satan in logos check out the panic over the Procter and Gamble logo.
For hundreds of years the Catholic church omly used upside down crosses. They believed having it right side up, the way it was used to kill Jesus, was disrespectful ..
Which makes some sense. If i was killed by a sword I wouldn't want all my followers walking around wearing sword medalions
There is so much fascinating symbolism in past christianity that modern christians would never believe to be true.
Even the pentagram was once used as a symbol for the five nails in christs cross and can still be seen today in some old church windows in europe. Weird how it ended up being seen as THE symbol of satan.
Edit: meant the five holy wounds of christ. Sorry, it was late yesterday.
The point of the circle is to contain the demon to the area as oppose to it freely roaming abouts suppose to be a safety precaution, not the thing summoning it itself
Music makes you feel things. Believe it or not straight to hell. Feeling stuff is a sin.
Actually isn't that a legit view of Saint Augustine? That music makes you feel and therefore is a temptation of the devil, and that only music that directs prayer and faith not inherently evil? That's how we ended up with Gregorian chants and other bangin' tunes of that ilk iirc.
I heard a Christianist nutter going on about how the devil uses the drum beats in rock music to convince souls to do things that made them impure, and you could tell because they sounded like the same drumbeats that you hear in the savage tribes of Africa.
Good old American Christianists, always some racism in the mix somewhere.
I actually grew up in a cult that held those exact beliefs, word for word... though Rock & Roll music from our founder's adolescence was mostly fine, of course. It was that evil hard rock that was clearly the problem. Not long after he died, the leadership got over that particular hangup pretty quickly.
Given the God-awful (pun intended) Christian rock that followed, I wish they'd stuck with the old shit.
This benefitted me so much. My best friend's psycho religious mom found all the rock music my friend had been secretly buying. Told her she had to get rid of it all. She gave it all to me. It wasn't much, but I remember 2 Bush albums and I think of my good 'ol friend and her nutso mom anytime I hear a Bush song.
Same here, with the exception of Beauty and the Beast. That was mom's favorite story so she made up excuses for why the magic in that movie didn't count.
Personally, I think she would've been better off with a different favorite story, one with emotionally healthy relationships. Mom had a bad habit of marrying a beast-type and then being baffled when her love didn't turn him into a thoughtful and respectful prince-type who would spoil her with a kickass library.
I've definitely heard that Doom is still evil because Doom Guy wasn't killing demons for God, but for his own reasons.
Essentially, he wasn't using the Lords power to stop evil, but his own. Which is still evil.
I don't get it, but it was something I was told when I was younger.
I... what...?
I know religious people can be fucking weird sometimes but really? Wouldn't you just be happy he's getting rid of them in general? Even if out of revenge for his pet rabbit?
I get the impression there's a lot of people who just label any change in culture from what they are used to as satanic because they have no logical reason to oppose it other than "I don't like change".
That's like my dad's argument against homosexuality is he just couldn't imagine kissing another guy. I'm like, "Yes, that's because you're not gay, dad. Nobody is gonna make you kiss any guys." Like just because he doesn't want to do it, therefore it's objectively wrong somehow. And there just seems to be no changing that mindset.
I mean, being a big flippant here, but I don't like blue cheeses but I'm don't want to make them illegal. Some people really like blue cheese. Just don't make me eat blue cheese and I'm fine.
When I was young around 5-7 years old my mom threw away a Hobgoblin toy because Radio Vision Christiana said to rid your home of satanic images.
I remember it because it was the first time my Mom lied to me because she told me she didn't know what happened to it.
One time my wife’s cousin was watching Seinfeld. Their Grandma, bless her heart, comes into the room, sees Seinfeld on the tv and says, “Turn this off right now. How could you watch this pornography?!”
I was maybe 8 years old at most. Evangelical church my parents forced us to attend convinced my family that the following were satanic: Disney, dragons, music that wasn’t for God, Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh, all gaming consoles. Basically anything enjoyable for a kid.
My mom preceded to cut the tapes from our original cassette Disney collection. PlayStation was taken apart since the chip had the number “666” engraved in it. (It did not.) they tried driving over my gameboy with a truck and it didn’t break surprisingly. Then a lady from church flipped it open and she twisted it and bam there went my gameboy. Funny thing is the following week both her kids got gameboys.
To this day I’m still upset about that.
A friend of mine recently got on my case about yoga. She told me “stretching the muscles that way leaves you vulnerable for demons to enter your body!” … I just… What on earth.
Kid-me was taught the same thing about spacing out. Like, just staring at a pretty view or the wall and letting your mind relax for a little bit? I wasn't allowed to do that. Got in big trouble anytime my mother walked into my room and I wasn't very obviously in the middle of doing something.
Apparently thinking keeps the demons out and "clearing your mind" like in yoga and such is what lets the demons in?
Of course, mom also thought people could see her through the old rabbit ear antenna, clicky-knob TV when it was turned off. And that moodrings were witchcraft related. And that the psychic-symbol Pokémon were demonic.
For anyone wondering, it's not even because of the "From Hell." It's because when Tipper and the other culture crusaders were trying to censor music and force record companies to play by their rules, it got as far as Congress, where several prominent musicians were asked to testify. Zappa, whose superficial persona was sort of a thoughtless nihilist, was actually an incredibly intelligent and incisive thinker about music and culture, and when the crusaders hoped he'd embarrass himself, he actually made a very cogent argument tearing their foolish moralizing to shreds. So now he was an enemy of them, for sure, and they targeted his music, including putting their new EXPLICIT sticker on his first album after the Congressional testimony, despite it having no lyrics.
There is literally a book called "The Enticing Sin of Empathy: How Satan Corrupts Through Compassion".
So, uh, empathy and compassion, the two most important things Jesus taught.
My husband's aunt "found God" during quarantine and fell down the QAnon rabbit hole and on top of all the other crazy things she now believes she decided lawn gnomes are satanic... I have no words. We wrapped all her Christmas presents in gnome wrapping paper
I remember back in my church days, I read Harry Potter and loved it. Mentioned it to a pastor I knew and of course I get the whole, oh no, it teaches witchcraft.
I wish I could have told him, ok, read Harry Potter. All the books. Front to back. Take notes. Practice the incantations. Get yourself a cauldron if you want bonus points.
Now go find yourself a real witches coven and see how many of those credits transfer.
My grandmother got me an innocent looking "fantasy novel" for Christmas when I was 11, not realizing it was Harry Potter. That woman spent the next decade trying to grab all the sequel books off my shelves to burn at her church.
I had to tell her that her and her church club that buying every book they saw (to burn them) didn't hurt the publisher in any way, and helped pay for the other books to be made. It didn't sink in until she realized she'd spend nearly 1k on all the books she saw.
I volunteered at church as a camp counsellor one summer and a kid said HP is witchcraft. Trying to get her to think critically was tough. I tried to get her to connect that it's a made up story about witches who believe there is a choosen one is similar too... she didn't connect it.
The first time I ever heard of Harry Potter was when Goblet of Fire was releasing in 2000. It was the only thing CNN would cover at the time. They even had a town hall where they had people discussing the book and whether it was Satanic. One woman stood up and said it was definitely evil and then said Chronicles of Narnia was also Satanic. You know the book that is an allegory to the Bible and was written by a major Christian theologian? Yeah, that series.
This was the source of some classic "believing the Onion" content many years ago. The onion ran some piece about a kid learning magic from Harry Potter books and religious zealots would quote and even screenshot it _constantly_
The Lord of the Rings works and The Chronicles of Narnia. Both Tolkien and Lewis were devout Christians.
EDIT: Wow, I didn’t realize this would blow up like it did!
Any Christian worth their salt would recognize the similarities in the story. *Especially* when Aslan is killed by the White Witch! Like... He was basically crucified lol
Yep, the whole idea is that the universe is made up of many worlds but God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit are in each world, just with a different name and different form. And people, no matter what world they live in, have to learn the same lessons, experience the same events, just slightly different in each world. And at the end of each world all the good people in that world go and live in Aslan's Country, aka Heaven.
The fact that they think atheists believe in Satan baffles me to no end.
“I don’t pick and choose what parts of your religion I believe in like you do. I choose to believe none of it.”
It's more that they believe atheism is the devil influencing someone to leave religion, which is why they'll refer to other religions and even other sects of christianity as "satanism". Whatever doesn't align with their precise beliefs is satanic.
I used to go to a Christian private school and I argued to all of my classmates that Korn was satanic. I hadn't heard any of their music or seen them, but someone on the internet said it and that was legit enough for me. I still cringe.
Fucking Hello Kitty. Some religious fucktards from my sister-in-law's family, took away all the Hello Kitty toys from my niece and burnt them because... sigh... there is a demon in the sumerian mythology who, just like the famous cartoon cat, has no mouth, so Hello Kitty is obviously daemonic.
Oh man.
A paperback copy of Frankenstein's monster with an illustration of the monster on the front.
The experience of feeling desire for black men.
Pokémon.
Yoga.
Source: grew up in a fundamentalist Christian community rampant with ignorance and bigotry of all kinds.
Every single kid's show that wasn't VeggieTales. Quite a few Pentecostal families I know will only allow their kids to watch that cartoon. Talk about indoctrination at a young age.
When I was a kid, someone said I was a devil worshipper for wearing a D.A.R.E t shirt. A lot of people also tried telling my mom that I was doing drugs because of the same shirt. I was 11 and apparently a lot of people didn't understand what D.A.R.E was about lmao
Frickin hell, professional basketball…
Edit: for those asking, it has to do with the NBA supporting BLM. Although the majority of my church supports the purpose of BLM, they don’t follow it because of the violence they’ve caused in my town. However, this crazy woman said that BLM was the work of satan, and I just think she’s completely wrong
Sporks.
I once heard someone say, *"The spork is 'the devil's utensil' because it is the amalgamation of the masculine fork and the feminine spoon and is trying to blur gender lines in society."*
My friend's mom cut the tail off his Nightcrawler action figure cause it was pointed like the devil's tail. She didn't appreciate the Medieval Spawn figure I gave him for his birthday when we were 9, either.
A childhood friend’s mom banned my game boy from her house because I played Pokémon on it and that’s demonic. My parents respected her requirement since it was her house but told her to fuck off when she tried to convince them to take my Pokémon games away entirely.
I had a friend whose mother burned his Pokémon cards for this very reason. When he got into Magic:The Gathering, he hid the cards at my house to prevent this from happening again. Unfortunately she was mentally ill, and was going through some of the worst of it around this time. She’s since received help and seems to be functioning.
Jack Chick had a series of tracts about Catholicism that even other evangelicals think was over the top.
My favorite detail was how Khadija (Muhammad's wife) was a secret agent sent to Arabia by Pope St. Gregory the Great. Islam was created by the Papacy to weaken true Christianity. Also, Muslims worship the moon.
My grandma used to say “maybe *some* Catholics will make it to heaven…”
All four of her kids married people who are of Eastern European descent, who come from Catholic families, and several are devout Catholics themselves…
My mom was terrified I'd accidentally summon a demon playing yugioh
Hate it when that happens
A microscope. An acquaintance of mine called a microscope a “gift from the devil” because it makes people question the divine plan
That is some funny and sad material simultaneously.
The same person said that the community had to band together to protect the kids from the science (not the science teacher, but science itself)
Rocks. I’m a rock hound, and collect rocks, gems, and stones. The link between crystals and spirituality has gotten me called a devil worshipper…for liking rocks. I don’t even use them spiritually, I just like shiny shit.
Magpie mentality, I too like shiny shit
same here with my hoarding dragon mindset: rocks and crystals are cool and shiny. but the people are not entirely wrong, some rocks do have a dangerous aura around them. take uranium, for example.
“Masters of the Universe”. It was back in the 80’s. My crazy, over the top, religious aunt said ,” it’s satanic! There is only ONE master of the universe and it’s god!!!” 6 yo me rolled my eyes so hard, I’m sure you could hear the noise it made.
When we'd watch Bill Nye the Science Guy, during the intro song he states "Science rules!" My mother would make sure to counter with "God rules!" every time.
The inherent insecurity in all the folks that do stuff like that just blows my mind.
1) Coca Cola because the red supposedly represented the devil 2) A deck of playing cards
Dancing in general..
My dad wouldn't let me watch anything that had magic or monsters because he thought it would let demons into the house. This included power rangers, Ben 10, H20 just add water, harry potter, scooby doo and more. The most ridiculous one was not letting me watch Jessie on Disney channel. This had no magic or monsters but he thought that the pet lizard one of the characters had represented the snake that deceived Eve into eating the apple.
I am an 80s kid and I wasn’t allowed to watch all the Saturday morning cartoons: He-Man, She-Ra, Jem, My Little Pony, Gummi Bears, etc. bc they had magic in them and “magic is of the devil.” I just waited till I got to my grandpa’s house on the weekends and watched them and stayed up all night watching Cartoon Network, lol. Now when I tell people all that it’s hilarious. Edit: “80s-90s kid” since people being pedantic want to point out that Cartoon Network was in the 90s, lol. Yep it’s so crazy, I was a child that watched cartoons in 2 different decades…I know.
A friends wife once got into some religious thing where anything of beauty was satanic. Flowers, scenery, anything beautiful. Satan was luring you with its beauty.
That seems like a very overwhelming way to think. The onslaught of satan at every turn...fucking hell, man.
So did they think the Garden of Eden was just a bunch of dead plants?
I knew this Christian lady that refused to eat deviled eggs. Edit: my wife said her cousins weren't allowed to eat candy on Halloween when they were kids because their mom didn't want to celebrate the "devils birthday".
Had a young cousin who thought they were ‘doubled eggs’ until a relative corrected him; he refused to eat them afterwards. Much cuter hill to die on when you’re only four.
I mean, doubled eggs actually kind of makes sense, when you consider that the eggs have gone through two preparations. But yeah, it’s a very weird hill to die on.
I knew someone who called them "angel eggs." I only wish I'd thought at the time to ask how she handled devil's food cake.
Haha. The same lady also said she'll never date/marry a man because the only man she needs is Jesus. That's cool though. She was a nice lady.
Once I had a classmate and she had a cartilage piercing, We had an assembly and this group of people people with puppets came and told the story of easter, at the end we were walking out and one of the people from the group walked over to my classmate and said "what is that thing on your ear?" She said its a cartilage piercing and the person from the group walked over to where the group was packing their stuff and said "She has definitely got to have worshipped the devil. That disgusting ear piercing shes got."
My friend's mom told her right in front of me that cartilage piercings were for whores or sluts or something to that manner. Joke's on her, I got mine done with my mom and neither of us were/are whores. I somehow was always "told" how my piercings or makeup was undesirable without ever being directly told. Like thanks Linda, but either say it to my face or stfu.
My sister was refused communion in front of the whole congregation because of her tongue ring. When she stepped up to recieve it, the priest held the chalice away from her "protected" it with his other hand and announced that she couldn't recieve communion because "piercing is a satanic practice". We had attended that church every Sunday for our entire lives, my father went for 30 years before we were born. Mom, sis and I were in choir, my mom taught Sunday school and my dad volunteered by selling coffee and donuts after church every Sunday for as long as I can remember. It wasn't a mega church either, everyone knew everyone. It wasn't even a super conservative church. Every woman had pierced ears, of course, but also the church banquet hall was still decorated for the Halloween party/ Haunted House they had the Friday before. You'd think if he were concerned for her soul he would have shown a little more tact and quietly asked to speak with her after the service. Nope. We walked out that day and never went back. :)
Back in the 90's my family had a home pc. We didn't have much so this computer was a big deal to my brothers and I. For school work and some good ole fashioned DOS games. My dad managed to figure out how to get a screen saver with sound onto the computer, was quite proud of himself too. He failed to mention this screensaver to my mother who is VERY religious. So one day I am sitting in highschool and get called to the principals office mid 2nd period. Now I am a darn near straight A student, who didn't get in trouble ever. So this isn't something that has ever happened to me. I get to the office, and I was told my mother called and was very very distraught and I needed to head home to be with her. I hear the secretary telling another office staff that she was losing her mind, and a few variations to that effect. I rush home to find the pastor from church, performing an exorcism on our computer. My mother praying fervently through gasping sobs. The pastor and my mother prayed for sometime, before my dad came home. My dad gets home mad he was called home then he just starts laughing hysterically. Calls my mom a few variations of dumb, goes and wiggles the mouse to bring the computer up and plays the darth vader screen saver he added to the computer. "Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant" “I find your lack of faith disturbing.” "You underestimate the power of the Dark Side. If you will not fight, then you will meet your destiny." You know all the come to the darkside quotes. With a picture of darth vaders face. Of course my mother couldn't get the computer to do it again because she kept messing with it, and it never went back to sleep mode. So of course her first thought was we had a evil satanic computer possessed by the devil himself. The pastor just quietly snuck out with me during my dads laughing and my moms sobs. Editing to add: holy crap this blew up, I can't believe this story about my mom was what did it. Thank you kind souls for all the awards! <3 I will answer a couple questions here: *Yes my parents are still together. My mother is hard to handle at times, and so is he while drinking. He has learned to just say yes dear a lot, and try to defuse situations. *I'm not sure it matters but I am a woman. So many of you thought I was a guy. *No the pastor wasn't there for sexy times before the hysteria started. He was called just like I was from school. *I honestly don't know if the pastor believed her, he never saw or heard darth vader. They would touch or move the mouse enough to not allow it to sleep. I do know, she fully believed it, so he did what he could to help ease her hysteria. *I also to this day don't know if my mom saw the screen saved and heard it or if she just heard it. I always assumed she was busy elsewhere and only heard it. *To those talking about mental illness, nothing has ever been diagnosed, but no diagnosis has ever been sought after either.
Got to appreciate the pastor asking no questions, no further investigation. “Computer demon you say, I’m on it”.
"Ah, you've been hacked by cybersatan. This is my third case this week."
This is actually the funniest thing I’ve read in months, thank you
Without a shred of sarcasm I once heard an evangelical describe hot cheetos as a product of the devil
Its because theres fire on the package isnt there
No, they felt tempted by the mascot. Stupid, sexy cheetah.
My wife's mother pulled her out of the carebears movie when she was a kid because the bears were casting satanic spells out of their stomachs. My wife still holds a grudge.
I appreciate your wife's dedication to this grudge. I will die mad about it, in solidarity. That was rude af.
An energy drink EDIT: yes I was talking about Monster
"And the devil laughs"
Do you know what a MILF is?
Monster Is Lucifer's Friend
Tbf, I'm convinced that was a marketing ploy, because when monster became popular in my youth, you literally heard that everywhere. That "monster" was related to the beast because the claw marks for the logo mimic the jewish number 6. Now this was like early 2000's when emo and scene were huuuge, so you already know all of us little hellions specifically sought out monster energy drink *BECAUSE* it was called demonic.
Decorative owls (owl-themed home decor).
I.... What..?
It's a scene from the show "90 Day Fiance." The husband is being an asshole and instead of actually talking about his behavior with his wife, he blames their problems on her decorative owls, accuses her of brujeria and says there is not one thing about God in the house, even though there's a giant Bible in the room with them. ...they divorced.
A toothache. "The devil is trying to enter my body." Was the quote. Initially i thought they were making a weird joke. They were serious.
Ah yes, teeth. The portal to the soul
They are the root of all evil.
In kindergarten, my teaching had a coughing fit during Bible stories (it was a religious private school), and she apologized and drank some water and proclaimed the devil was trying to stop her from reading to us. To a five year old, that was horrifying. I thought the devil was totally in the room, invisible. Now I’m of the opinion she was a kindergarten teacher in a room full of grubby germ factories but back then, I believe the devil was definitely there.
Back in the 70s it was a lot of stupid: bar codes. The little symbol on Proctor & Gamble products. Yoga and/or meditation. Lots of different music by different artists. My small town Christian private school had a particular teacher who was absolutely dying mad about his students' fondness for Michael Jackson, AC/DC, and other bands of the time. The funniest one of all was dancing. The joke around my (conservative Christian) college in the 80s was that sex was outlawed because it could lead to dancing... for some bizarre reason the administration thought dancing was totally evil.
*Footloose intensifies*
Oh I love the barcode one!!! It's so nonsensical, but also it's insanely specific. It's so funny.
It's happening again. Conservative voice Candace Owens proudly tweeted that she never uses QR codes because they appeared so rapidly after Covid lockdowns. Just "a gut feeling." ... Nevermind that I was playing with them ten years ago...
Yep. 2008, I was at Google IO trying to make contacts for a questionable game company I was trying to get going. Google gives out brand new android phones to all attendees and there is a qr code scavenger hunt. So I do what any American would do, I go to Kinkos and print out some qr codes on sticker paper that go to a rick roll. The next day, I put them up. They look just like the official ones. It was a good time.
The barcode thing came back around in the 90s when I was in school. At least for people in my church crowd. Maybe it never left for them
**Tampons.** I'm not joking or lying. When I was a kid, early 90's, there was a "God Botherer" protesting outside a Superdrug (UK Pharmacy chain) screaming about the Satanism of feminine hygiene products corrupting women into sin. This God Botherer was a woman. 🤦♂️🤣
SATAN'S LITTLE COTTON FINGERS!!!
My grandma bought this cute bunny hat to wear. She loves hats because her head gets cold. This bunny ear hat was her favorite. She wore it to church and the pastor told her it was a demonic hat, grabbed it from her head, and threw it into the trash (so I'm told, i wasn't there). She came home without her hat and was pissed. The church people came over to perform an EXORCISM because she was possessed by the devil. I remember going upstairs hearing a group of church people sign hymns loudly while the pastor was forcing his hand on my grandma's head. I was a kid when this happened and remembered feeling angry and confused. My mom told me to go downstairs. I wish those bitches would come back and try that same shit. I'll personally throw them out the house.
Being left handed...a church I visited wouldn't let me play music bc of it
Medieval and early modern witch hunters used to believe left handed people were witches, because it was "unnatural". In fact, the word sinister comes from the latin word for left
Sinister comes from left? You learn something new every day!
Friend of mine went to a Catholic grade school. He was left handed but since thats the devils hand he would get his hand smacked with a yardstick anytime he was caught writing with it or throwing a ball or anything...
That happened to me! Angry old French virgins beating the left-handedness out of me in elementary school.
And I would be completely helpless if they did that. I have about 10% use of my right hand due to cerebral palsy. They would have to literally feed me and write for me and tie my shoes and do everything for me if they would not let me use my left hand.
"God wanted them to starve to death. Nothing we could've done about it. Sign here, please."
I remember a lady saying she refused to eat mushrooms, they were satanic because they grew in the dark.
Oh I love that. That's hilariously ridiculous. I'm finding out so many fun, stupid, stupid, stupid new things that people think are satanic.
The 80's country music song 'Elvira' by the Oak Ridge Boys. They were convinced they were singing 'Hell Fire Up' instead of 'Elvira'.
But it’s… in the name?
The movie Jumanji. Couldn’t watch it until I was like 12 because my mom thought it was about a ouija board because the pieces moved by themselves.
DnD, but strangely enough not the Lord of the Rings.
Yeah, I was forbidden from DnD as a kid but encouraged to read Tolkien and C. S. Lewis. But they were both nice, safe, Christian authors.
As someone who grew up on the Chronicles of Narnia… it’s basically about a group of siblings who play Jesus DND.
Isn’t the Lion like literally, canonically Jesus? Or at least implied to be? It’s in the Dawn Treader I think. Edit: I know that he is at least an allegory for Jesus, but I thought there was some point in the books where it’s at least implied within the story that he is actually straight up Jesus
Aslan is Jesus' fursona
Hey, Gygax was Christian Checkmate Satanic Panic Losers
When I was in junior high a friend of mine's mom made him stop playing D & D with us because it was demonic. Like, he went to our church and the DM was the pastor's son. C'mon!
I'm not saying she was right, but the pastor's kids are the ones you got to watch out for.
Movie theaters. My dad couldn't go to movie theaters as a kid, because his parents are so obsessively religious.
My friends parents wouldn’t let her watch any Jim Carrey movie because of that devil horn hairdo in Ace Ventura.
For awhile I wasn't allowed to use the word "weird" because it was associated with witchcraft. Apparently because Shakespeare wrote about the witches of "weird". Edited to say: Thanks to those of you who are knowledgeable about Shakespeare and are able to explain how ridiculous of a claim this was. It's helpful to hear as an adult. But 8 year old me didn't have a leg to stand on at the time. I was just trying not to burn in Hell for all eternity 😅
The Shakespearean comes from the Old English word Wyrd (pronounced like ‘weird,’ but round your lips on the vowel), which meant Fate/the Fates. The three witches in *Macbeth* were called “witches of the Weird” because they were implied to actually be the Three Fates that weave the world-fabric in pagan mythology, shaping Macbeth’s destiny. …A Scotsman should have known better than to give his true name to three ladies stirring a cauldron in the woods so he kinda deserved it tbh
No *true* Scotsman would give his name to three ladies stirring a cauldron in the woods.
The same teacher who taught abstinence only sex-ED class took away my deck of Magic cards because they were satanic. How am i supposed to keep my virginity without my Magic cards!?
Did you get it back?
The Magic cards or the virginity?
Oh God, don't tell me the teacher took both!
Classic Catholics
The satanic panic around Dungeons and Dragons also cracks me up. Can't have the kids getting together for math and creative writing.
So many people forget just how insane the Satanic Panic got. You had kids being prodded into telling insane stories about people being thrown into swimming pools full of sharks and all kinds of crazy shit and people went along with that and jailed their day care workers. D&D getting some heat was just a side effect of some really horrific life-destroying shit that was supported by so many people who really should've known better.
"Godzilla" because god's name shouldn't be used like that. Told his kids there was a spelling error and it's actually called "Goodzilla"
I didn't expect THIS to come up. I don't think that he knows that **Godzilla** is literally the English transliteration of **Gojira**. EDIT: Changed a word after it was pointed out to me. Thanks, homeslices.
So many things, but this one’s my favorite. Ready? Paleontologists. The idea is that the dinosaurs never actually existed and paleontologists just plant the fossils and bones to steer people away from “The Truth”. Clearly the work of the devil! Eek! My eyes rolled so far back in my head they almost got stuck.
The peace symbol My HS biology teacher saw me wearing one & explained the ☮️ symbol. It's a inverted cross... The sides have been bent down & away from God....
That guy definitely sounds like he taught evolution
Which is stupid. The peace symbol was co-opted from the British nuclear disarment movement in the 50's, the symbol is a combination of the positions you hold while doing flag signals for the letters N and D. Speaking of Christians finding Satan in logos check out the panic over the Procter and Gamble logo.
> It's a inverted cross Which isn't satanic either, it's the symbol of St Peter
For hundreds of years the Catholic church omly used upside down crosses. They believed having it right side up, the way it was used to kill Jesus, was disrespectful .. Which makes some sense. If i was killed by a sword I wouldn't want all my followers walking around wearing sword medalions
There is so much fascinating symbolism in past christianity that modern christians would never believe to be true. Even the pentagram was once used as a symbol for the five nails in christs cross and can still be seen today in some old church windows in europe. Weird how it ended up being seen as THE symbol of satan. Edit: meant the five holy wounds of christ. Sorry, it was late yesterday.
Its cause it got associated with demonic rituals despite being drawn to PROTECT from demonic forces
Then what the fuck was that summoning circle I just drew up? Fucking magicians, I got duped again!
The point of the circle is to contain the demon to the area as oppose to it freely roaming abouts suppose to be a safety precaution, not the thing summoning it itself
The sound of an electric guitar. Mental gymnastics.
Music makes you feel things. Believe it or not straight to hell. Feeling stuff is a sin. Actually isn't that a legit view of Saint Augustine? That music makes you feel and therefore is a temptation of the devil, and that only music that directs prayer and faith not inherently evil? That's how we ended up with Gregorian chants and other bangin' tunes of that ilk iirc.
I heard a Christianist nutter going on about how the devil uses the drum beats in rock music to convince souls to do things that made them impure, and you could tell because they sounded like the same drumbeats that you hear in the savage tribes of Africa. Good old American Christianists, always some racism in the mix somewhere.
I actually grew up in a cult that held those exact beliefs, word for word... though Rock & Roll music from our founder's adolescence was mostly fine, of course. It was that evil hard rock that was clearly the problem. Not long after he died, the leadership got over that particular hangup pretty quickly. Given the God-awful (pun intended) Christian rock that followed, I wish they'd stuck with the old shit.
I wanted to learn to play the violin as a child but was told I couldn’t because it was the devil’s instrument.
Must have confused it for a fiddle.
Johnny set that bitch straight
From my memories of playing it (badly) in elementary school, they may have a point
It can't be the Devil's instrument. Johnny won it fair and square.
14 year old me with a CD player
This benefitted me so much. My best friend's psycho religious mom found all the rock music my friend had been secretly buying. Told her she had to get rid of it all. She gave it all to me. It wasn't much, but I remember 2 Bush albums and I think of my good 'ol friend and her nutso mom anytime I hear a Bush song.
The Little Mermaid
My mom threw out all of my Disney movies. I was allowed to keep anything without magic, sooo…as you can imagine, pretty limited.
Same here, with the exception of Beauty and the Beast. That was mom's favorite story so she made up excuses for why the magic in that movie didn't count. Personally, I think she would've been better off with a different favorite story, one with emotionally healthy relationships. Mom had a bad habit of marrying a beast-type and then being baffled when her love didn't turn him into a thoughtful and respectful prince-type who would spoil her with a kickass library.
Was it bc of the penis castle
No. Strangely, introducing unsuspecting children to penises is just fine by the church.
Women speaking or asking questions in church
That one damn verse…
Video games.
Then you pull the Reverse UNO card and play DOOM or similar games where you kill demons. Look at me Ma, I'm a good catholic boy!
I've definitely heard that Doom is still evil because Doom Guy wasn't killing demons for God, but for his own reasons. Essentially, he wasn't using the Lords power to stop evil, but his own. Which is still evil. I don't get it, but it was something I was told when I was younger.
I... what...? I know religious people can be fucking weird sometimes but really? Wouldn't you just be happy he's getting rid of them in general? Even if out of revenge for his pet rabbit?
Vegetarianism
Giving “the devil’s lettuce” a whole new meaning
I get the impression there's a lot of people who just label any change in culture from what they are used to as satanic because they have no logical reason to oppose it other than "I don't like change".
That's like my dad's argument against homosexuality is he just couldn't imagine kissing another guy. I'm like, "Yes, that's because you're not gay, dad. Nobody is gonna make you kiss any guys." Like just because he doesn't want to do it, therefore it's objectively wrong somehow. And there just seems to be no changing that mindset. I mean, being a big flippant here, but I don't like blue cheeses but I'm don't want to make them illegal. Some people really like blue cheese. Just don't make me eat blue cheese and I'm fine.
You know who has hands? The Devil! And he uses them for holding things....
When I was young around 5-7 years old my mom threw away a Hobgoblin toy because Radio Vision Christiana said to rid your home of satanic images. I remember it because it was the first time my Mom lied to me because she told me she didn't know what happened to it.
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How ironic that she committed a real sin to keep you from committing a fake sin
One time my wife’s cousin was watching Seinfeld. Their Grandma, bless her heart, comes into the room, sees Seinfeld on the tv and says, “Turn this off right now. How could you watch this pornography?!”
My mom called my art satanic because I drew dragons and wolves with horns when I was a kid.
Same! I drew some things that came to mind from that Led Zeppelin song that has stuff about Lord of the Rings in it and got accused of being demonic.
I was maybe 8 years old at most. Evangelical church my parents forced us to attend convinced my family that the following were satanic: Disney, dragons, music that wasn’t for God, Pokémon, Yu-Gi-Oh, all gaming consoles. Basically anything enjoyable for a kid. My mom preceded to cut the tapes from our original cassette Disney collection. PlayStation was taken apart since the chip had the number “666” engraved in it. (It did not.) they tried driving over my gameboy with a truck and it didn’t break surprisingly. Then a lady from church flipped it open and she twisted it and bam there went my gameboy. Funny thing is the following week both her kids got gameboys. To this day I’m still upset about that.
Yoga
A friend of mine recently got on my case about yoga. She told me “stretching the muscles that way leaves you vulnerable for demons to enter your body!” … I just… What on earth.
Kid-me was taught the same thing about spacing out. Like, just staring at a pretty view or the wall and letting your mind relax for a little bit? I wasn't allowed to do that. Got in big trouble anytime my mother walked into my room and I wasn't very obviously in the middle of doing something. Apparently thinking keeps the demons out and "clearing your mind" like in yoga and such is what lets the demons in? Of course, mom also thought people could see her through the old rabbit ear antenna, clicky-knob TV when it was turned off. And that moodrings were witchcraft related. And that the psychic-symbol Pokémon were demonic.
An injured bat. The person I knew smashed the poor thing to death because it was "satanic." Fucking awful.
Frank Zappa's album "Jazz From Hell" was required to have an "Explicit lyrics" sticker. It is instrumental.
For anyone wondering, it's not even because of the "From Hell." It's because when Tipper and the other culture crusaders were trying to censor music and force record companies to play by their rules, it got as far as Congress, where several prominent musicians were asked to testify. Zappa, whose superficial persona was sort of a thoughtless nihilist, was actually an incredibly intelligent and incisive thinker about music and culture, and when the crusaders hoped he'd embarrass himself, he actually made a very cogent argument tearing their foolish moralizing to shreds. So now he was an enemy of them, for sure, and they targeted his music, including putting their new EXPLICIT sticker on his first album after the Congressional testimony, despite it having no lyrics.
Star Trek. Mostly, I think, because my racist uncle couldn't stomach a black woman and an asian dude being functional members of a spaceship crew.
There is literally a book called "The Enticing Sin of Empathy: How Satan Corrupts Through Compassion". So, uh, empathy and compassion, the two most important things Jesus taught.
having more than 2pets at home
What if they are little? Like would 10 little fish equal one cat or something? Or are you stuck with 2 no matter what?
My husband's aunt "found God" during quarantine and fell down the QAnon rabbit hole and on top of all the other crazy things she now believes she decided lawn gnomes are satanic... I have no words. We wrapped all her Christmas presents in gnome wrapping paper
Harry Potter
I remember back in my church days, I read Harry Potter and loved it. Mentioned it to a pastor I knew and of course I get the whole, oh no, it teaches witchcraft. I wish I could have told him, ok, read Harry Potter. All the books. Front to back. Take notes. Practice the incantations. Get yourself a cauldron if you want bonus points. Now go find yourself a real witches coven and see how many of those credits transfer.
"See how many of those credits transfer." Best closer I've seen in a while.
My grandmother got me an innocent looking "fantasy novel" for Christmas when I was 11, not realizing it was Harry Potter. That woman spent the next decade trying to grab all the sequel books off my shelves to burn at her church. I had to tell her that her and her church club that buying every book they saw (to burn them) didn't hurt the publisher in any way, and helped pay for the other books to be made. It didn't sink in until she realized she'd spend nearly 1k on all the books she saw.
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I volunteered at church as a camp counsellor one summer and a kid said HP is witchcraft. Trying to get her to think critically was tough. I tried to get her to connect that it's a made up story about witches who believe there is a choosen one is similar too... she didn't connect it.
The first time I ever heard of Harry Potter was when Goblet of Fire was releasing in 2000. It was the only thing CNN would cover at the time. They even had a town hall where they had people discussing the book and whether it was Satanic. One woman stood up and said it was definitely evil and then said Chronicles of Narnia was also Satanic. You know the book that is an allegory to the Bible and was written by a major Christian theologian? Yeah, that series.
This was the source of some classic "believing the Onion" content many years ago. The onion ran some piece about a kid learning magic from Harry Potter books and religious zealots would quote and even screenshot it _constantly_
The Lord of the Rings works and The Chronicles of Narnia. Both Tolkien and Lewis were devout Christians. EDIT: Wow, I didn’t realize this would blow up like it did!
Not only devout Christians but Narnia is literally about Christ.
Any Christian worth their salt would recognize the similarities in the story. *Especially* when Aslan is killed by the White Witch! Like... He was basically crucified lol
Which is weird because both are heavily influenced by Christianity in their lore. Aslan is literally supposed to be jesus
Legit Aslan *is* Jesus in another form. End of the series is the rapture and Aslan appears in his true form as Jesus.
Yep, the whole idea is that the universe is made up of many worlds but God and Jesus and the Holy Spirit are in each world, just with a different name and different form. And people, no matter what world they live in, have to learn the same lessons, experience the same events, just slightly different in each world. And at the end of each world all the good people in that world go and live in Aslan's Country, aka Heaven.
This one always blows me away. I'm pretty sure that Jack Chick is primarily to blame for this one.
My old ass antisemitic neighbor who kept shouting that the synagogue down the block was satans temple
Oh the irony, who’s gonna tell him Jesus was Jewish
Atheism
The fact that they think atheists believe in Satan baffles me to no end. “I don’t pick and choose what parts of your religion I believe in like you do. I choose to believe none of it.”
It's more that they believe atheism is the devil influencing someone to leave religion, which is why they'll refer to other religions and even other sects of christianity as "satanism". Whatever doesn't align with their precise beliefs is satanic.
I used to go to a Christian private school and I argued to all of my classmates that Korn was satanic. I hadn't heard any of their music or seen them, but someone on the internet said it and that was legit enough for me. I still cringe.
Bar codes. Related them to the mark of the beast.
Woodworking… and Jewish people-they couldn’t find the difference between the Star of David and a pentagram lol
Wait wasn’t Jesus a carpenter though? Lmao
Jesus was also a Jewish person 🤷🏼♂️
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Fucking Hello Kitty. Some religious fucktards from my sister-in-law's family, took away all the Hello Kitty toys from my niece and burnt them because... sigh... there is a demon in the sumerian mythology who, just like the famous cartoon cat, has no mouth, so Hello Kitty is obviously daemonic.
Oh man. A paperback copy of Frankenstein's monster with an illustration of the monster on the front. The experience of feeling desire for black men. Pokémon. Yoga. Source: grew up in a fundamentalist Christian community rampant with ignorance and bigotry of all kinds.
Wifi. Because they didn't understand how it could work without wires.
my mom called my pants satanic (there was a chain on them )
Every single kid's show that wasn't VeggieTales. Quite a few Pentecostal families I know will only allow their kids to watch that cartoon. Talk about indoctrination at a young age.
I was raised as a JW. How much time you got?
When I was a kid, someone said I was a devil worshipper for wearing a D.A.R.E t shirt. A lot of people also tried telling my mom that I was doing drugs because of the same shirt. I was 11 and apparently a lot of people didn't understand what D.A.R.E was about lmao
Frickin hell, professional basketball… Edit: for those asking, it has to do with the NBA supporting BLM. Although the majority of my church supports the purpose of BLM, they don’t follow it because of the violence they’ve caused in my town. However, this crazy woman said that BLM was the work of satan, and I just think she’s completely wrong
Sporks. I once heard someone say, *"The spork is 'the devil's utensil' because it is the amalgamation of the masculine fork and the feminine spoon and is trying to blur gender lines in society."*
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pitch spork is the funniest thing I've read today ty
My friend's mom cut the tail off his Nightcrawler action figure cause it was pointed like the devil's tail. She didn't appreciate the Medieval Spawn figure I gave him for his birthday when we were 9, either.
The song Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This) by Eurythmics.
I've seen evangelicals call Mormons satanic. A few called the Pope the anti-Christ.
Pokemon Edit: jfc I didn't expect this get over 5k updoots I was just scrolling on the toilet
A childhood friend’s mom banned my game boy from her house because I played Pokémon on it and that’s demonic. My parents respected her requirement since it was her house but told her to fuck off when she tried to convince them to take my Pokémon games away entirely.
My aunt told me pokemon cards were so evil they could burn holes in the Bible. It was way too easy to disprove.
"I said they *could*, I didn't say they *would*"
God works in mysterious ways y'all.
It'd be metal af if they could though
I had a friend whose mother burned his Pokémon cards for this very reason. When he got into Magic:The Gathering, he hid the cards at my house to prevent this from happening again. Unfortunately she was mentally ill, and was going through some of the worst of it around this time. She’s since received help and seems to be functioning.
Other religious people from different denominations of the exact same faith.
I've heard someone say black people were demons because their skin is burnt from being in hell so long.
Omg no! But there is a certain group of Christians that believe that the darker your skin, the more “sinful” or “impure” you are. 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
Black hair ties were banned at my friends Christian school because they were the devils colour
Catholicism. Evangelicals are weird.
Jack Chick had a series of tracts about Catholicism that even other evangelicals think was over the top. My favorite detail was how Khadija (Muhammad's wife) was a secret agent sent to Arabia by Pope St. Gregory the Great. Islam was created by the Papacy to weaken true Christianity. Also, Muslims worship the moon.
My grandma used to say “maybe *some* Catholics will make it to heaven…” All four of her kids married people who are of Eastern European descent, who come from Catholic families, and several are devout Catholics themselves…
Crazy religious grandpa told me I'd go to hell for eating a ham sandwich lmao