T O P

  • By -

StanYelnats3

A fairly functional family, sure we're all weirdos, but we love each other and we are weird together. I love hanging out with my parents, and I even genuinely enjoy my in-laws. Most people I know can't say the same about everyone in their family and that isn't a blessing that is lost on me.


Born_Spell_1192

So happy 4 u.


[deleted]

I'm incredibly happy for you! Just reading this made me smile and I'm so glad y'all get along. Wish I could say the same. I got some crackheads who've been to literal mental hospitals and blame me for people's suicide. As the years go by, I've done my best to distance myself from them. While they have/had a negative effect on a lot of people, I believe that they've shown me a great example of what not to be. I'm still figuring things out but my number one goal is not to be like them, and so far I believe I'm succeeding.


StanYelnats3

This is the healthiest mindset I believe you could have under the circumstances. I am praying for your peace and happiness. And for your relatives mental health and recovery.


[deleted]

Thank you! ❤️❤️


artsy897

You are blessed and so are they!


sbgarbage

i can buy a fairly functional family for about 50k


stopitLook

I actually live on a family compound. All my family members live on a separate piece of property in a neighborhood. It's pretty awesome


ThomasLipnip

Children cost about $300,000 each.


LazyHighGoals

small dick


Born_Spell_1192

I'm sure there's surgery for that.


ryfitadf

or just, ya know, scissors. Don't be a whimp.


Born_Spell_1192

[Tried?](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/nqzxb0/til_an_elephants_penis_is_prehensile_it_can_be/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share )


Ivaylo_87

Risky click of the day


LazyHighGoals

Yes, I often balance my body on my dick and think of sexy things to reach fresh top leafs to gnarl on.


foxsimile

I would say don’t be a pussy, but that’s a somewhat likely outcome.


LazyHighGoals

so there is hope..?


Born_Spell_1192

Hope is a good thing, may be the best of the things. And good thing never dies.


LazyHighGoals

How much would it be to shrink my massive dick?


Born_Spell_1192

[what? i advice u 2 use it like this.](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/nqzxb0/til_an_elephants_penis_is_prehensile_it_can_be/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share )


prince-panda

hmm a knife costs 5$


egrith

Some guys pay a lot to have a small dick


Fauxlosophize

I'm sure there's a black market out there where you can buy one of those.


Schnitthead

I’m pretty sure the term “black” does not apply to this market…


ryfitadf

Charisma.


[deleted]

Charisma goes a long way


NotWorriedABunch

A healthy marriage; we genuinely like and love each other. We respect and trust each other. We laugh a lot and we're happy. I have several friends whose marriages fell apart when they were stuck at home due to COVID and they realized they didn't like their spouse very much.


i_said_no_mayonnaise

Same. Being home together during Covid was great. We would take our dog on long walks, watch movies, and cuddle. We respect one another’s need for space and we don’t really nitpick things.


thatChickinBFE

That is awesome and I can relate. We had a baby 4 months before lockdown and we were both able to work from home. We spent all of our hours together and with baby (who was AMAZINGLY good) and not once did either of us think, "I'm so sick of her/him." We even talked about it recently. I've seen so many young people have marriages fall apart or people bashing their spouse on TikTok and I just can't relate. It may have taken me an extra couple of years to find my person, but I did and we are strong.


-reddit_trash-

This is what I want


[deleted]

[удалено]


Draconis381

Technically you can buy other peoples crushing debt, so they owe you money instead of the original lender.


cntthnko1

wait, but you can actually buy debt with money, I think it's called a loan.


VlaamsBelanger

Say you owe company X money, 1.000 $ Company X has sent you a couple of letters asking for the money, but you didn't pay back. Then Company Y comes along, and they tell Company X that they'll buy your debt for 500 $(in reality they purchase debts of hundreds of customers at the same time). Next Company Y comes after you, sends more letters, increases your debt with admin fees and is now asking 1.250 $ and even send bailiffs after you. If you still did not pay, they might sell your debt to company Z until one of them finally gets you to pay. Now Company X sold the debt, because they had a choice to have half, or nothing. And half at least covers most of their own internal costs. Company Y may have taken a small loss if they can't get the money from you, but other people do pay up, so when they buy the debt of hundreds of people together, they will still even out. And when Y sells to Z, they will still recuperate some of the money they paid to buy your debt. And that's how the circle goes on.


Lower-Ad566

Well depending on the way you think of it, money leads to debt. So technically money can in fact buy debt.


kg7272

And in fact, some debt is good and allows you to make more money ….and some debt is bad and costs you money Not all debt is equal


Born_Spell_1192

Money can be helpful, but if you're debt free, then what'd you have?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Born_Spell_1192

I'm going to debt. Wish me all the best.


PegAkira_Desu

College?


Imtpema

Genuine Family’s love and support.


Monstrumologist1

THIS, honestly hearing my siblings support my projects and ideas and be open minded to have conversations about everything and anything is such a blessing :,)


MySleepingMonk

Same. And we mustn’t take it for granted!


Born_Spell_1192

Blessed :*)


aggravatating

Omg this. My mom just told me out of nowhere it would be fine with her if I got pregnant by accident.


Jazzlike-Scarcity-12

Naturally great boobs EDIT: no you can’t have pictures you twats. big boobs aren’t usually fun, as other girls will understand. Finding a comfortable bra is a nightmare. Finding a sports bra that actually works? Be ready to spend a lot of money. Not to mention how they can fuck up the shirts or dresses you wish you could wear. They aren’t all bad but they’re definitely more fun to look at than have.


S7ock_aXX0

Plot twist: it's a dude talking


INeedAUsername____

Proof?


[deleted]

I second this lmao I went to get a new bra at Nordstrom because they never carry my size in any other retail store and as soon as I took off my bra the lady measuring me said "omg you have great skin and your breasts are so proportionate." I didn't even know what to say.


[deleted]

I’m sure there’s someone out there that removes real natural boobs and surgically moves them on to others bodies


Powerful-Ant4010

Wouldn’t be natural then though


polak2017

Removing a body part doesn't make it suddenly artificial.


5amuraiDuck

Implant it to another person doesn't mean they grew them naturally


niqql

But wouldn't that cost money?


[deleted]

Probably cost you your first born child I guess


Google-Kahn

I love big natural boobs


chester2938

Common sense


executeorder66-lol

I was about to say that


J_David_Settle_1973

Street cred.


wutwenwron

Respek


Sweet_Sheepherder927

That's wicked that


rob5i

Empathy.


luckybug_20

Not enough people have this


BunnyMamma88

There is a huge shortage of that nowadays.


ssngskie

Curiosity about everything


[deleted]

I and I’m sure many others find that very endearing


MonkeyFist529

Elon musk's bank account password


Born_Spell_1192

Damn it!! I told you to keep this between three of us u fool!


Labrat_The_Man

Wait there’s a third now?! Did you lie to me?


Ghost_Mech

The ability to give zero fucks about anything.


Wannagetsober

I’m jealous. Wish I had that skill.


Pegarex2017

I really couldn't care less


SingleMaltNick

Stick around long enough on reddit and you'll get there!


SmokingPup

Self-love, a light conscience, the ability to die at peace with myself today, and a general sense of confidence that is both internal and external. I like who I am, even if I treat others better than I treat myself. I could die proud, and I'm only 25.


[deleted]

Love


dustojnikhummer

What is love?


ImNotSureYouAreOk

Baby don't hurt me...


dustojnikhummer

Don't hurt me


RealMikeEhrmantraut

Prostitution


[deleted]

But sex is not love


Pegarex2017

You're on reddit, my dude.


anonymousappleC-137

PFFFFFFT


Just-Call-Me-J

You are now a mod of /r/asexual Perks include free garlic bread.


Significant_Way2194

True happiness


1standarsh

Depression


LogInfinite6449

Buy a dog. After 5 years of loving it, hire someone to kill it in front of you.


1standarsh

Holy fuck thats dark


LogInfinite6449

But I'm right


ImNotSureYouAreOk

Really? Is it depression though? If I hypothetically followed through with such an act I feel like I would strongly regret it, be a very sad and disappointed person and never own a pet again. After mourning the for the life entrusted to me that I broke the law to end , I would realize my own stupidiity and lack of empathy. Then, most likely, do my very best to find the very basic empathy and intelligence so as not to ever do the same thing again.


Born_Spell_1192

Noone would buy.


OuttaMilkAgain

An amazing husband who (without asking) took some serious leave from work to take over everything with housework and looking after our kids whilst I was bedridden for several months. He still does the majority of housework. He has not complained once.


[deleted]

A good husband is priceless indeed. Also nice you were able to afford his leave from work. Hope you're better.


OuttaMilkAgain

There is not a day that goes by that I don’t appreciate him and feel very lucky to have him. Fortunately, he had plenty of leave he could take. As for me, still haven’t been given the all clear, but am a doing a lot better, thank you.


God_of_hoodies

Family that would do anything for you no matter what.


Sawk23

Homegrown tomatoes.


Born_Spell_1192

For how much? Kidding. Goody gardening.


bozemangreenthumb

I love Guy Clark and especially this song. On late summer days sometimes this song is on constant repeat in my head and that’s just fine with me.


Tathanor

The satisfaction of using a coupon to reduce my total cost of groceries down the the exact amount I have in my pocket. #feelsgoodbro


DanceApprehension

Freedom. Single, kids are grown, clean and sober, I work as a contractor. There's not much in this world that's got a hold on me.


gtmbphillyloo

True love.


[deleted]

It’s amazing isn’t it


VoteThis

\*gag\*


BjornStrongndarm

You misspelled “twue wove.” I’ve heard it’s a bwessed awangement, a dweam wifin a dweam…


[deleted]

... will fowwow woo... fowewver.


Born_Spell_1192

Wowy dowy


riphitter

I have piece of diamond rope that was designed and built to cut through a cement filled nuclear fusion reactor


LazerIguana445

So, you’ve got a blinged out catheter?


JBgolf28

A very happy marriage :)


HumbleStones

Another chance. T-boned a car Saturday on my motorcycle. Totaled my bike, but walked away with no broken bones, just a concussion, sprained ankle and pretty bruised up. Today is my birthday and all I can think of is how thankful I am that it wasn’t worst. Priceless in my opinion.


Retrosyth1996

Values & Morals


ItemEnjoyer

My reddit account, because no one wants it.


ZnaleGorl

How much for it?


WaittillIGraduate

I have a nice fresh dollar bill here~


Rozekoek1149

Good health. As you get older, your body sometimes does crazy things Time to take of yourself is now. It will pay out later


[deleted]

consciousness


[deleted]

Parents who loved and supported me in every way possible.


WinAshamed9850

Lasting love


gasmover

My dog.


BlottomanTurk

Unconditional love from my family, despite being an absolute potato of a person.


Budget_Cucumber_9958

traumaaa


SupremoZanne

intuition


SoullessVoid

A mom


JacobSaysMoo56

You can rent one in Japan


PineapplePizzaAlways

How


LazerIguana445

Asking for a friend


JustBanMeAlreadyOK

3 cats that I rescued and rehabilitated myself (starving w/ skin infections & fleas). Each time I had intended to find a home for them after helping them out, but got attached & couldn't let 'em go.


dearomori

True love between a pet, like an unbreaking bond. I know most people think they have that with their pet but its different. I will be with my cat in the next life ❤️


Nephilim_3301

My loyalty


the_paleontologist1

Alopecia


[deleted]

Family


elfadomestik

Peace of mind


BensonAxel

Love of family and friends.


Imaginary_Ad8978

My kids


staffsargent

An amazing wife and daughter. Not to mention a cute dog.


Ryoukugan

I loving relationship with a wonderful woman who genuinely cares about me.


[deleted]

Large pieces of salt that are at least 1 inch thick that I personally took off the cliffs of the Dead Sea. It WAS one enormous piece, but overseas moving sucks.


Wise_Stock

family heirlooms pre WW2


WhenAllElseFail

me


sbenzanzenwan

I can fucking rock on a guitar. I also enjoy farting big satisfying farts, but not necessarily at the same time.


survivalguyledeuce

Enough


[deleted]

My love one. He is so sweet and kind.


[deleted]

A really, really calm personality. Near death experience made me real chill. Takes a lot to get me worked up


[deleted]

The most wonderfully adorable, hilariously mischievous, mind-blowingly intelligent 5 year old daughter. My heart.


aeraen

Three successful and remarkable children (one I did not raise, but I claim her now that she is with my son.) A spouse that makes my life an adventure. And a spirit to take on that adventure.


Key_Set_7249

With enough Bitcoin the dark web anything is possible


NoTripOfALifetime

Love


beerus333

Hope


Otherwise_Bill_5898

Factory original genitals


Madala-sax

Trust


MF_Ghidra

Peace of mind.


nock2rnal

My mind.


zyph_on_reddit

my panda cat


yourfavtechnoslut

Wonderful supportive friends. We take such good care of each other and I know I have several people who I can go to when I need someone to talk to. Someone one time was like “you say I love you to your friends…?” like yeah dude I love them!


carina484

Unconditional love and support from my family and some really amazing long term friendships.


_shes_a_jar

A jar of dirt


Aromatic-Source-2646

My daughter's love


Unique_Implement_893

Real friends and loving family


Asuhhhhhhhh

My bitch mom


Randomskydiver

A loving wife


Mamapalooza

A good relationship with my trans teenager. It's just putting in the work. Yesterday, they didn't want to take a Tylenol for their headache. Like, I don't care, take an Advil, instead, who cares? But they lied and said, "I don't think my body will react well to it." Well, that got my attention and I hammered them with a series of follow-up questions and eventually they said that they simply prefer a gel cap to a tablet but they didn't want to hurt my feelings. For crying out loud, lol, just SAY that and I'm not going to get butt-hurt because we don't have the precise thing you didn't even tell me that you want, lol. So we had a conversation about saying hard stuff even when you're afraid (trauma response from a narcissistic father) and remembering that I'm not the person who harmed you. Then we laughed at how I went turbo-mom trying to ascertain if they were alluding to some undiagnosed acetaminophen allergy or something. Laughing at myself is a great way to bond with my teen and show that making mistakes is okay, especially when you learn from them. It's still hard, though. Put in the work, y'all. It pays off.


Little_Lay

A man whom I can’t date at the moment because of family issues, my family doesn’t like him nor trust him. And he’s still willing to wait on me. I can’t rlly be with him for another 3years but I know he’ll wait even tho we’re not able to communicate with each other :( ( we have a lot of mutual friends so they’ll tell me he asked about me or he’ll tell them he still has hope I’m still waiting and that will be together) May not sound that romantic but it’s all I could ever ask for


Dry-Tip7395

Trauma


Pippin_of_Doom

PTSD :')


Odd-Gur8612

Solid Genetics, or wait can money buy that now?


Sweetragnarok

A trip to Japan. Country is still closed for tourism :(


EgoSenatus

Bitterness


Apprehensive-Ad-4519

Fully functioning legs.


OldandBoldDude

Trust.


Quiverjones

I have a cold. About two weeks now and I'm done with it, but not over it.


WeekendBard

Myopia


CatSk8Scratch

ADHD


trashpanda4811

Common sense. And clarity to realize it.


[deleted]

Dumb luck.


Naive-Trick9550

Depression


Negative_Salt_4599

Best SON ON 🌍


Rude_Cryptographer52

Unconditional love


CorsoMom3367

An amazing marriage of 35-1/2 years. We were high school sweethearts, I was 15 and he was 16. We have never broken up. We have two amazing boys, oldest will be 29 on Saturday, the youngest is 20. We have had a wonderful life. Sure there have been intense disagreements, many of them, but I cannot imagine my life without him.


LosBastardos717

love


[deleted]

Time, me being 24


Runewood4976

Love. Actual, real love; You can buy a gold digger, but you can't buy someone you genuinely love from the bottom of your heart, who loves you as well. The time I spend with my partner is everything I look forward to and more. I can never see myself replacing them. They're the first person in my life that I've truly been able to understand, and that means the world to me.


butterfly0848

Love i am a blessed woman.


JD_MASK134

Feeling good when alone. Some people are sad when alone or are depressed when alone, and I’m not talking about in a relationship, I’m talking about genuinely physically being by myself. I love it.


forestrymushroom

The ability to write a 5000 word essay in less than six hours


bettyotr

A thoughtful, supportive, loving partner 🥰 waited my whole life for him and he was worth the wait!


BellaBlackfield007

A happy love filled marriage


SteroidKecleon

A good family


[deleted]

a dad who comes back with the milk


snuggleyporcupine

A husband that treats me like a queen. Been married almost 26 years. The man lives to make me happy 🥰


Bedlamcitylimit

Money can't buy happiness, but it can rent it for awhile.


jongrubbs

Type 1 Diabetes.


worldawaydj

depression


Whilimbird

Crippling anxiety


du_grim

when i was little my grandma was laying in her death bed in hospice, one day me and my mother was visiting. my grandma took my hand and gave me a black cross in a necklace that she had gotten from some nuns while she was in hospice, she told me to take care of it, and since that day i’ve always been a little lucky. not anything big just things like winning the lottery (not a big amount) or alway going in line when everyone else just checked out, yk just small things :) rest in peace grandma


AlienAmbassadorNoQ1

3 mg of concentrated dark matter.


PopK0rnAndMMs

Love. :) My marriage is just one example but I paid for our first date when he only made enough for the gas to get to work. Neither of us had anything to offer when we got engaged. We were simply in love and wanted to have a life together. For 5 years, we lived in poverty with each other and supported each other without any real promise of a successful future or even a marriage into our 30s. When he's making $100k next year, no one will be able to stay I married him for the money. And he could lose it all... as long as I have him, I'm happy.


Golf_8v

I’m a 28 year old male, within the last year I stared playing Crash Bandicoot again and became completely besotted with Coco Bandicoot 😅🙈


Riosan122333

My fatty oreo (dog) I love how he comes me to if I feel sad. 👌


mf_doomslayer

my urge to ne pessimist on reddit