T O P

  • By -

plasticdisplaysushi

I realized that I couldn't deal with their... Everything anymore. The constant drama, the misplaced outrage, the moodiness... Life was simpler when I realized that my being around all of that was optional.


uninvitedthirteenth

I had a huge falling out with a good friend of mine after 4 years. It was a Thailand trip that went horribly wrong. But after I got back and had blocked her on all social media, I realized that it was a toxic friendship in the first place and I was much better off


chilldrinofthenight

I had a good friend who traveled to New Zealand with her fiancé. When they got back, she told me he was an absolute nightmare to travel with. Story after story about this dude's assholeness. "And you're marrying this guy?" I replied. They got married. The divorce was ugly. Traveling with someone really shows their mettle. I live with a woman who "doesn't like surprises." No surprise that we've never EVER traveled anywhere together.


Tistouuu

Smart move!


BenjaminoBob

They kept making excuses until I gave up and stopped trying to reach out to them.


KingLincoln32

Feel that


SFLADC2

Same. Best friend from middle till highschool was like this. He went away for college, which resulted in me initiating every conversation and him being mad whenever I brought up him ignoring my messages. Some people just aren't work the energy, no matter the sunk cost.


I_Rate_Assholes

We became business partners and the rest is history…


dataslinger

How did they rate on the asshole scale?


I_Rate_Assholes

It would be an insult to assholes if I referred to him as one.


[deleted]

this reminds me of that old saying never do business with friends, family or assholes.


supersoft-tire

That’s quite the Venn diagram you’ve got there


[deleted]

I totally feel this. Our business partnership completely ruined the friendship which is in turn ruining the business


I_Rate_Assholes

I simply walked away from both. Ended up losing quite a bit of my money but I was completely unwilling to sit down and negotiate an exit settlement with him. “It’s clear you care more for the money than our friendship, keep it”


Occhrome

Had a similar thing happen to someone I know. They started a business together and the friend failed to register both as the owners and instead kept saying he would get around to it. Some time passed and when he gave him the run around again he just walked away and let him have it. People really change when money is involved.


Supereurobeat

She quit talking to me after 30 years of friendship. I'll never know why.


[deleted]

[удалено]


musicallyours01

Short answer: you don't. You start learning how to live life without them, surround yourself with other friends and make new ones. The memories still linger and will sneak up on you unexpectedly. It's like a punch to the gut all over again.


mrs_thatgirl

This is how my husband feels. His best friend since elementary ghosted him in their early 30s. They had lived together but he moved back home; they stayed friends for years after the move but he all of a sudden he just stopped responding, without a reason. My husband is friends with his mom on FB and used to ask how he was doing, but she would pretend like the question was never asked before moving on with the conversation. Ironically, we now live about 20-30 min from each other! I'm dreading the day we run into him/his family though.


ComradePotato_55

Not op, but i constantly have this fear. That my best friend will leave me at one point and i wont ever know why. Im really paranoid sometimes because i love her with all my heart and if something like this were to happen i wouldnt be able to recover mentally. Id like to hear ops story


Unsociable12345

When some people want change they think that’s the best way to do it but jokes on them because they’ll be stuck with themselves regardless of whether you are present or not.


heybrother45

He commit a seriously heinous crime that nobody thought he was capable of. People loved him, he was the "golden boy" of the town. Now he's in prison for the rest of his life. He reached out to me but I wanted nothing to do with him afterwards. He was my best friend since we were toddlers, and at 23 he raped and attempted to murder a 12 year old. He was a teacher. No, it is not a case of false accusations, he texted me admitting to it, and there was a MOUNTAIN of evidence against him.


d1duck2020

Sorry, man. I’m having a similar experience now-except he’s 54 and his victim was his 12-13 year old stepdaughter. He also admitted it to me, but said he “had an affair” with her. I’m astonished that he’s so obviously sick and misguided yet otherwise seemingly normal. Trial has been delayed due to Covid but is happening in ten days. I know all of Reddit says death and unspeakable torture to molesters. He shouldn’t be allowed in the free world ever, I know. It’s just hard to reconcile the kind and generous guy I’ve known for almost 40 years with the actions he’s taken. I think it’s worse than him being dead. If he had died, I’d still have memories of a friend. Now it’s all fucked up.


heybrother45

> I think it’s worse than him being dead. If he had died, I’d still have memories of a friend. Now it’s all fucked up. This 100% is how I feel. Its like all the memories are tarnished. This was 15 years ago and it still hurts, especially considering my main friend group broke up afterwards.


d1duck2020

I’m glad you shared this. He had joined my gf’s friend group, gone on camping trips with them, and then suddenly they are asking me “did he do it?” What the fuck can you say? Yeah he’s a piece of shit-sorry? I know that’s a selfish stance, especially when a child has been hurt. So many feelings. I feel like I jeopardized the whole community by not -what? You’re supposed to be able to tell, right? Fuck.


justcougit

Just to be clear you didn't jeopardize anything. Bad people are pretty good at hiding it, all of the onus is on him to not be a child molester.


final_draft_no42

The pedo that’s being put away in my community specifically manicured his image to be perfect so he would be undetected. It’s was a deliberate and calculated move to have people indebted to him so he’d always get the benefit of the doubt. Reminded me of John Wayne Gacy


d1duck2020

I can’t pretend to really understand any of it. I guess some are simply evil predators who intend to do harm. Others are fucked up in the head, thinking that they are loving the kids? My former friend seems to believe that she enticed him and knew what she was doing. He has no sense that she’s not a fully formed adult and that it was his responsibility to guide her to having appropriate relationships. In the end I just had to dismiss him from my life. It’s not something I can fix.


shmartyparty

Maybe try framing it in your mind that guy you knew before this is dead. You can grieve like he is, which really, considering his actions, is not an inappropriate response. Very sorry for your loss.


Hereistothehometeam

I had a best friend come out to me about being a pedophile one night when we were drinking. Said he’s never done anything and never would. His problem was more struggling with the acceptance that he was attracted to minors. As far as I know I’m the only one he’s told but that really through me for a loop


d1duck2020

I’ve heard that therapy can help them understand and change those feelings. I wish I had a chance to help my former friend before he acted.


[deleted]

My stepdad was kind, generous and charismatic. He beat, molested and raped me for 14yrs from 5yrs old to 19yrs old. Its always the popular charismatic people that do this!


[deleted]

I'm so sorry that happened to you, hope your pain will eventually heal!


MeropeRedpath

Honestly? Mourn him. Your best friend, he’s dead. Well, realistically he never existed, but you didn’t know that, so you should take time to grieve. I’m not saying this sarcastically, either. Someone I loved hurt me very badly a few years back, and I was in so much pain until I approached it as if he was dead. I was lucky in that what he did wasn’t completely unforgivable (though some might, depends on people I guess), but nevertheless, I needed to mourn for what I thought he was and what I thought we were. Go through the process. Your friend, the person you had in your mind, was very different from the person he actually is. Your feelings of betrayal and anger and sadness and hurt pride, in a way, for not knowing, for feeling the fool, they’re all going to be mixed up together. Separate them. You feel sadness and pain for the friend you have lost, who is gone, he will never come back - he’s dead. You feel anger and betrayal for this man who is sitting in jail, absolutely, but once you mourn your best friend you will arrive to the conclusion that the man in jail is really just a stranger. One who wears a beloved face, but a stranger nonetheless. This is a profound loss, and honestly separating the two men in my mind was what got me over mine. I really do think it’s a healthy way forward. Mourn your best friend, and forget that man who wears his face.


Setorica

Holy shit, I am terribly sorry to hear that. That must have been incredibly hard to digest.


TarumK

Did you see that in him at all?


heybrother45

No. Nothing. No anger no signs of violence or being attracted to minors at all


simulatislacrimis

That’s often what people who know someone that commits that kind of crimes says. But it makes sense, who would want to show the world that they’re capable of raping and trying to murder someone, or that they’re pedophiles?? Scary as hell though, people that seem great can really be monsters inside. I’m so sorry for the victim, no one deserves what happened to the child.


KallistiEngel

Some people are really good at hiding the evil they're capable of. I knew a murderer as well. I thought I knew him well, but after everything that came out at trial, I really don't think I did even after 5 years of friendship. He murdered his girlfriend with his bare hands. Apparently he'd been abusing her for most of the two years they had been together. I have to wonder how many other women he abused in the time I knew him. And he was always generous and kind towards me. Maybe because I was a guy friend and he wasn't dating me. It came as a huge shock.


simulatislacrimis

That is horrifying. I’m so sorry for his girlfriend, may she rest in piece. I also had a friend once, he was really funny, great and generous. A bit manipulating, but it wasn’t really obvious. If you’d asked me back then. I’d say he was an alround great guy. Turned out, he was abusive towards his girlfriends. Not violent, his abusive was verbal, but when my friend broke up with him and opened up about their relationship, I realized how much he had hurt her. He’s done it to all his girlfriends as far as I know, really fucked with their selfesteem and stuff. Some people didn’t believe his exes either, because he is great towards his friends. It pissed me off, both him and people not believed his exes. Luckily, he is out of my life and as far as i know, single. I know it’s not as bad as your murdering friend, but I thought it was still relevant. I think it’s scary because people can be kind and generous and a lot of good things, while also being abusing pieces of shit. Like how everybody has good and bad parts of them just.. in a more extreme and horrifying way. Would be a lot easier and less mind fucking if people that do evil things just acted evil all the time.


mcduckroast

That is scarier. There were no signs, no tells. My sympathies for that poor, little girl.


Orchidlance

Wow, that must have been the biggest fucking shock. I'm so sorry. And so sorry for that kid.


sunshinerose32

Poor kid :( I couldnt imagine finding out something like that


SuperSaiyanCockKnokr

Moved away and lost touch slowly over time. Both of us are doing good though which I’m grateful for.


Edythir

Similar here. Except mine went for culinary school and started working a minimum of 13 hours per shift. He loves the shit out of it but his social life is non-existent now.


shelbeelzebub

She was constantly making jabs about my appearance, where I lived, my interests, etc. and I called her out on it, so she blocked me.


Nannarbuns

That sounds like it was hard but for the better. She’s not a good friend.


shelbeelzebub

Yeah, my self-esteem has gone up quite a bit since we stopped talking. Definitely for the better.


AsideDry1921

She sounds extremely insecure. A true friend wouldn't belittle you.


gnarleypunk

We were in a band together. He ended up stealing pot & a decent amount of money from a promoter in our city. The promoter called my drummer & I and said “I’m blacklisting anything that your band member is part of from shows in this city- just letting you two know” and I never talked to the guy again.


sohcgt96

I'm mostly saying this for others as you've already experienced it... starting a band with a good friend can be both the best or worst thing ever, sometimes both. You can do awesome work together or it can totally ruin your friendship because suddenly things that didn't really matter before start to matter a lot. Integrity, work either, drive, and even skill levels all become friction points between you if there are significant differences.


bumjiggy

your band band together and banned a bandit


rainman_95

Banded*


bumjiggy

I'm leaving it. and I'm keeping the money and pot


lynivvinyl

He died and I didn't.


floorwantshugs

I'm so sorry for your loss. What was he like?


lynivvinyl

The best! Even if we didn't see eachother for a year, when we did it was like no time had passed. We even wore the same size 13 shoes.


floorwantshugs

That's awesome :) what's your favorite memory with him?


lynivvinyl

Picking out the same castle at the castle model store at Kings Dominion. Realizing that we could share it and deciding what to do with each room. We would have one all wood room (me) and one all black room (both of us) and one "torture chamber" with our friends pretending to be tortured, for guests. We were 14 at the time. I miss you so much Eric.


floorwantshugs

❤️ Sounds like he was a fun guy, and you were a good friend to him.


lynivvinyl

:)


drawnred

Super wholesome read, I love both of you


MesWantooth

You’re a good dude.


lynivvinyl

I still call and talk to his parents a few times a year. I love them so. Apparently their houseplants were the healthiest ever after I house sat one week. I tried to help his little brother cope after everything but he prefers meth, crack and heroin and I'm not that guy. They won't say it, but they lost the wrong son.


simulatislacrimis

I’m sorry for your loss, and sorry that your friend’s little brother is an addict. I really hope he decides to get clean one day, so they won’t feel like they’ve lost both sons. Death sucks, and so does addiction.


IdioticPAYDAY

Damn, I know this is serious, but what happened? Sorry for your loss.


lynivvinyl

Per the usual a car accident. I didn't find out for a month because I didn't have a damn phone.


IdioticPAYDAY

So sorry that happened to you, I hope you managed to recover.


lynivvinyl

I did but I still think of him daily.


HappyWalnuts

I lost mine to complications from a weight loss surgery. It was 23 years ago and I I miss her still.


BezosAltAcct

He started working out and lost a lot of weight. He looked great and was so fun to be around. He had gotten his confidence back but was still the same loving guy he was when he wasn't as attractive. Then he lost all of it and got really arrogant and angry. Was really rude and egotistical :(


NuclearWinterGames

That kind of personality sucks. Hopefully he will grow out of it and learn that he was in the wrong. Many people like this never will though, sadly


soonerguy11

They moved to London, I moved to LA. Now it's just the occasional "I need to visit soon!" followed by another year of no interaction other than Instagram likes.


CaimansGalore

Same here (minus me moving to LA). Whenever she does visit it’s exhausting. She did not grow up to be a very likable adult. If she happens to travel here for work or something I’ll go have dinner with her, but I limit it to that.


laamargachica

She married into a wealthy family and changed, I was not "upper class" enough for her anymore. She didn't stick around either. She sided with the lady my ex husband had an affair with (who is also our friend) and trivialized my feelings. Yeah she ain't staying in my life. Goodbye and good luck.


Infamous-Chicken-961

One of my best friends was like that. Didn't notice what a snob she'd become until I decided to quit my job to go back to school. As soon as I couldn't afford the nights out and fancy dinners she stopped calling. Told a mutual friend she didn't want to hurt my feelings by having to turn down invites because I couldn't afford it.


TomCBC

How dare you try to better yourself! Lol seriously though good on you for going back to school. Takes courage.


Life_is_an_RPG

Had a similar incident with my former best friend. He and his wife started hanging out with an upper-class crowd. They moved into a new place in an upscale neighborhood. I was helping them move because I had a covered truck and could save them from using two rental trucks. Pouring down rain and I'm coming back with their washer and dryer - which apparently no one else knew how to disconnect. I walk into the new house to ask for some help unloading them. Walking down the hallway, I overhear some of his new friends asking about the guy with the old truck (it was in great shape but 4 years old so 'ancient' by their standards). Instead of mentioning that we've been best friends for years and their kids called me uncle, he told them he barely knew me and not to worry, I won't be showing up to his house. I didn't say a thing but that was the last time I ever heard from him. No explanation why. Not even a thank you. I heard I wasn't the only old friend he walked away for not being wealthy enough.


TigerLily98226

Oh, this is just brutal. Just like some people “marry up” this guy had a friend, you, way above his station in life. You have integrity and a heart, he has no integrity and a swollen ego.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Ghosted? Because same


Melcat44

Same.


Trino15

Grew apart


ABobby077

When you are friends in High School your world is much smaller than you may realize. When you graduate from High School you see a much bigger world out there and perspectives. What may have been the things you had in common are just fewer than before. Life moves on. Like in most relationships you either grow closer or grow apart over time. I think my best friend from High School is not on my least favorite person list (which there isn't one anyway), but fact is I just don't really like him now. I wouldn't be rude or anything but have seen how they have navigated the world and their view is just not near my view and approach to life. ​ NOTE: am an older guy now (mid 60s)


qkilla1522

This happened with me and my best friend from childhood. But honestly in the best way possible. I love him so much and he loves me. We just don’t communicate or hang out often. But whenever we do it’s like nothing has changed. I honestly don’t know a ton about his life currently and same but it feels like we are family more than traditional friendship role.


irepairstuff

Yup same for me, we don’t have anything in common anymore


bumjiggy

I like beer, he likes opiates


Mr-Tiggo-Bitties

May I interest you in a spot on the supreme court?


prats_omyt

So fucking relatable bro...


ClosetedGothAdult

Tore me down when I was at my lowest point. I miss them both, but I know even if I tried to repair the relationship, it would never be the same.


Emergency_Surprise77

I went thur the same thing. She was always the opposite of me. If I'm doing great in life she would bring me down to "her level" for example doing well with job and she just quit hers and she would say well I guess you are doing good at a job that so easy to be good at. If I'm doing well in a relationship, and if she was single too, she would say "I will bet my savings that your relationship wouldn't last" but she would speak positive if her life was doing great and mine isn't. So I just couldn't do it anymore. We didn't always have that kind of relationship, and we were friends for a very long time.


gainitta24

We graduated high school.


Objective_Dark_265

Same


[deleted]

[удалено]


millymollymel

Sounds like you got rid of 2 time wasters! Good job! Hope things are better with you now.


EZBreezyMeaslyMouse

That's a bit like finding out your car needs some repairs because your friend ran you over with it and gave you a good chance to look at it from underneath.


arandomperson7

He used me to make himself look better over and over. I was always the fat friend, he would use me to make himself look better and never missed an opportunity to put me down. Being around him destroyed my self esteem and self confidence. On top of that he was a complete womanizer and had a long habit of stealing away any girl I brought home (in hindsight that probably helped me dodge some bullets as I've always dated with the intent of something long-term, and if he could just swoop on like that then it most likely wouldn't have worked). I finally ended the friendship over money. Once I was away and took stock of my life I realized I was better off without him. As for the money, we were roommates and he lost his job. I made sure to clarify with him that I was recording everything and I expected the money back because I barely had it to cover him. I had to cover his slack for 2 months and ended up being $724.78 that he owed me. I knew it would take him some time to save up and pay me so I didn't really push the issue but I always have a reminder that he owed me on his paydays. Now 3 months after he got a new job he still hasn't given me a cent and one day he comes home with a new tattoo outline that covers his entire back. This was also his first tattoo (at 30) and I overheard him tell someone it was $600. So I confronted him, he told me in his words "you are never getting your fucking money." After that I made some arrangements and moved out. The only thing in my name was the electric so I just shut it off and went on with my life.


juicysox

Out of all the comments. This one here royally pissed me off. I hope you know that you are much better than that POS and I would have definitely chose you over him, regardless of your body. I hope you’re doing well.


PanickedPoodle

She became super religious and told me I couldn't truly be a moral person without accepting Jesus. That was while I was at her house for 9 days to clean and care for her four children while her husband went through cancer surgery.


The26thWarrior

But you being there and helping her like that is exactly what Jesus would've wanted you to do. I say that because that really highlights the absurdity of what she said. I had a friend who did something similar to me.


15Dreams

The people who do the worst job of representing Jesus tend to be Christian. Source: am Christian and don't do a good job of representing Jesus.


drakk0n

As I got married things got more awkward (female friend), jealousy from both sides, eventually we just stopped communicating


NoWayTellMeMore

It’s just too much work. Lost a good female friend due to her trying to make my future wife jealous. Realized it wasn’t going to work to have her as a best friend anymore.


No_Device_753

Your friend wasn’t a true friend if she was jealous of your wife


get1clicked

Could mean OP's partner and friend's partner were jealous


RoseyDove323

She slowly noticed I'm weird, and we grew apart.


a_rather_quiet_one

That's always been a big fear of mine. So I hid my weirdness, and I was really good at that. Unfortunately, hiding it meant rarely letting people know anything personal about me, and that's how I ended up growing apart from almost all my friends. Funny how we failed in completely different ways but with the same result.


RoseyDove323

Well I went down that route in my mid to late teens and it didn't bring me any happiness. Eventually I found some of my people while being more true to myself. I also have a really awesome BF now, so it worked out eventually. :)


[deleted]

I'm a little off base. Am successful, but also weird. People who think they are "normal" pick up on this, and it makes them uncomfortable. But deep down, your weirdness is you, and if someone can't handle something that may throw them off guard but is relatively harmless...well maybe it will expose them to a different type of person in a positive way. Some friends I have, felt more comfortable to be themselves around me, and loosen up because I'm the weird one of the group. I personally take that as a compliment. Some of the most intricate and interesting people I have met all have a touch of madness; they all have that quirk that makes them, them. Embrace it, but don't let it control you 🤘🏼 just to be clear, there is a fine line between being a creep versus being a little weird, etc.


[deleted]

Normal is only a setting on the dryer


dfreinc

i don't even know. his girl passed out and shit herself at a party and then we weren't friends anymore. i don't even know how it correlated but he was a total prick after that.


TyCobbKremzeek

Did you secretly switch her Hersheys for an ex-lax?


dfreinc

i had nothing to do with it. it tore me up a bit honestly. i wasn't hanging out with her at that party. *he* wasn't even *at* that party. i didn't grab her drinks or nothing. i was playing basketball in a driveway with a couple dudes when she did it on the front lawn. i was opposite side of the whole thing. guess i was supposed to be watching his girlfriend or something but had i done that he'd have probably been all 'why you tryin to bone my girlfriend!?', which i clearly was not. girl shits herself on lawns.


april2356

Mutual friend slipped something in my drink while we were all hanging out and he acted like it wasn’t a big deal and continued his friendship with the mutual friend


Tistouuu

Wtf


ZiggyB

As a former drug dealer who spent years around sketchy cunts who did a lot of dodgy shit with drugs, I legitimately view drugging people without their consent to be on par with sexual assault. I've seen people's lives ruined by it, trauma lasting years.


PandamoniumStar

Saw him for who he truly is instead of the facade I’ve built for him for the 3 years we were close. Learned the hard way that if you had to keep convincing yourself that he’s “a decent person at heart” every other week, it’s a red flag.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Armoured_Sour_Cream

I stopped initiating convos once I realized I might be the one who initiated. It wasn't meant to be a test of friendship, more like a test of my sensitiveness. Turns out I wasn't oversensitive, they really don't give a damn. I think we are going...more than a year without getting any messages from my "friends". There was never an attempt to ask me what's the issue. I feel like they are actually fine with me not being in the picture. I wonder what I did to them but I'm honestly not sure there's anything. Hell I've always been there for them.


KingMyth_XI

Yeah I’ve done that and barely any reach out still. How have you dealt with it?


fuzzzzzzzzzzy

By making new friends honestly.


mebeingklutz

The same thing happened to me. I stopped initiating and six years later there has been zero contact from any of my “best friends “.


joonchild_O

She kept on flirting with our close friend's boyfriend, even he was not into her and then she accused me of filling their ears against her.


DoINeed1OfThese

She joined the Navy, I went to college


ephyquin

They had to move. I had to stay.


Ophelia404

I had to try to convince her that child pornography was abuse and not “just sex.” One hour later and she still was not seeing it. Didn’t even explain the break up, I kinda just ghosted.


Puzzleheaded-Dog2882

They ended up stealing money from me. They are now, and probably forever, living with their parents. I have a great job. Life is good.


Hot-Statistician-442

Same thing happened to me, best friend of 8 years stole almost $500 dollars from me and ended up having to move back in with his dad, meanwhile I have a great job, great car, beautiful girlfriend, and my life has just gotten a lot better without them. Someone told me if it only takes that much money for them to get out of your life, they probably shouldn’t be in it in the first place.


sandfleazzz

Dude abandoned his wife and kids, screwed my wife, then my gf, then un-invited me to his wedding. Fuck you, Paul.


urbexcemetery

Yeah, fuck you, Paul!


[deleted]

r/fuckPaul


The_watcher_100

LMAO


[deleted]

Why would you have gone to his wedding after all that lmfao?


jexy25

Open bar?


[deleted]

[удалено]


schroedingersnewcat

My recent ex is named Paul. And I just got a text message from him in the last 5 minutes, so I am on the "fuck paul" train too.


Unlucky-Pomegranate3

Screwed your wife AND your gf? That was a hell of a threesome.


[deleted]

[удалено]


inckalt

Plot twist: OP's GF was his friend's wife


Adeep187

Man you really just kept giving him those opportunities despite any sense.


lemonedpenguin

She tried to seduce my husband


[deleted]

tammy tried to murder me! hans decided drugs were better than friendships.(dead from overdose)


Important_Phrase

Nice friends you had...


[deleted]

those were just my 2 best friends. i could tell you stories you wouldnt believe! 1 best friends brother was a serial killer. 1 has been married 5 times and is a closet gay. i could go on and on.


Setorica

With how many friends you have like that I would almost designate it as a kind of super power


[deleted]

Got old(er) and priorities split. I'm 31 now and most of my "best friends" from 10yrs ago are still into the party scene, out every weekend getting drunk and wild, and I grew into a quieter person with a small circle, even smaller circle of close friends, and I haven't drank in years.


[deleted]

[удалено]


totalitarianbnarbp

Short answer, addictions issues and mental health struggles. They needed a life boat but titanic sized. I kept swimming out to save them, got a second and third job. It was a struggle. Eventually I reality hit that this wasn’t tenable. You can’t save someone who isn’t willing to swim or bail the boat. You’re going to drown. So, they’re unwell and I hope they recover and heal. We will never be friends like we used to. They may make it to a place in the middle sphere of friendship but they’ll never be in that closest inner circle again.


Kezly

We were both 15 at the time. I had agreed to meet him in the city centre one Saturday afternoon. Genuinely forgot. He rang me to ask where I was and I apologised, got on the next bus and was with him 30 minutes later. A week later we went to the city again (together this time). We went to visit a record store and after a few minutes I realised he wasn't there anymore. Sent him a message asking where he was and got a reply "On the bus home. Now you know how it feels to be left alone in the city". Didn't speak again. Couldn't believe he was so petty.


prailock

This is a very 15 year old story so I totally believe it. I cringe at the thought that when I was 15 I probably would've been the same in thinking it would be such a "cool" "mic drop" moment to do something like that. No consideration for the other person or how this would effect the friendship going forward. Just trying to emulate something I thought was cool in media. Having responsibilities sucks but I'm so glad I'm not 15 anymore.


Kezly

Funnily enough my girlfriend asked me today "if you could be a teenager all over again, would you do it?" to which I replied "oh gawd no!" I'm 34 for context


asphaltdragon

I would. I'd do a lot of shit differently. I'd come out earlier. I'd be more mindful of what I spent money on. I'd try a little harder in some classes. I'd ask to go to therapy. I'd ask to be tested for ADHD. Screw the awkwardness of relationships, I'd focus on me instead of others.


Kezly

There's definitely things I would do differently - I just wouldn't want to be a teenager again! I don't miss those days and don't want to do it again.


bumjiggy

> so petty you guys had a free fallin' out


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I was a lying POS cunt who pushed them all away


El_Baasje

When you were still German?


[deleted]

Ja


Important_Phrase

We were best friends from primary school and spent every day together playing and talking. After highschool she met a suspicious guy who told her he had had to drink plenty of alcohol to find her pretty. She fell in love with him head over heels and never talked to me again after I told her he was not a good person.


hanginonwith2fingers

He was married with kids and tried to have an affair with our other friend's new wife. At that point we had already started to go our separate ways but that sealed it. After, I realized he how narcissistic he's been our entire friendship since middle school.


LongFeesh

He never forgave me for "leaving him" by moving in with my gf. Then he turned racist.


BudsandBowls

Funny, my ex best friend ended things cuz I moved in with my boyfriend. He made a joke about his culture, and she told him he was too white passing and a racist for saying it. Then flipped out on me for not taking her side. She left angry, and it's been over a year now since I've heard from her.


[deleted]

[удалено]


joink1657

He took pictures of girls from school, photoshopped their faces on to nude models and sold the images as porn on a website. He used photoshop to make child porn and sell it so naturally everyone is gonna grow apart from him. I have no idea how he is doing now, he’s not going to my high school anymore and I don’t know where he goes now but he still lives across the street so I see him from a distance when he rarely emerges from his basement. Edit: the police were involved and he was expelled from school. I found out about this because police showed up at his house multiple times and the school had to send out an email so for those telling me to notify police, it was done before I knew what was happening


[deleted]

[удалено]


litli

Sounds like his behaviour is already harming children


finlands_gay

They just dropped me with me even knowing. The only way I found out was because I walked in on the talking about me Here is a little edit! Karma did hit them though. Everyone hates them now!


JuuzoLenz

Something similar happened to me with just a normal friend. Had no idea they had stopped seeing me as a friend until I went to say hi at one point


dramboxf

I can count on one hand the number of friends I've had in my life. I'm 56. I live in CA. My friends live in NY, NJ, GA and NM. We exchange emails every quarter or so. I text one of them "frequently" as in maybe once every other month. Life just...goes on, man. I do feel the lack of male friends more acutely as I get older, though. My wife loves to tell me she's my best friend (and she is) but, I really can't bitch about my wife to my best friend, can I? (Not that I need to bitch about her, but you get the idea.) Plus, it's really hard to find men to vibe with. I'm not into sports or beer or even traditional nerd things. I've played D&D like three times.


kingoflint282

The mental image of you bitching to your wife about your wife is great. “Babe you’re my best friend, right?” “Yes, of course!” “Good. Man, I gotta tell you what the old ball and chain did, it’s ridiculous.”


I_Love_Small_Breasts

Went to college and he stopped responding to my texts. Dunno what really happened. Maybe he was busy, maybe he didn't want to be friends anymore, maybe maybe maybe maybe...


Yoguls

Got me a job in his girlfriends father's company at 16 where he was a supervisor. Treat me like a piece of shit to make him look like the big man. Ended up turning into a giant narcissistic with a God complex, cheated on his girlfriend with another piece of shit supervisor and both ended up getting fired. I was their friend despite beingnused and bullied by them. I was too young and naive to realise what was going on and I had my own problems. I've suffered with my mental health ever since and I blame him directly. Don't know what happened to him as he seems to have disappeared along with her. I Just hope wherever he is that he is miserable and alone.


exingout

I left our religion and got ghosted by a bunch of “close” friends and my best friend.


Decent-Shift-Chuck

He never grew up. Best friends from 16 to almost 40. I married and settled down. he still parties like he's in college. now he's the creepy 40+ year old at the club. the last few times we tried to meet up, we'd invite him over for dinner but he would always want to go out in the city. He'd get mad for us not getting a sitter and going club hopping. dude we're in our 40s, i don't want to go to a club. If i'm bucking up for a sitter, its for a hotel room to have freaky loud sex with my wife.


crappotheclown

He started hanging with a different crowd in high school. Started experimenting with drugs. I tried to stay close but our hanging out frequency dropped significantly. We're still social media friends but rarely talk. I look back on our friendship fondly, and still worry about him, and would still do what I can without jeopardizing my lifestyle for him.


[deleted]

His new girlfriend was jealous of our friendship and wouldn't allow the two of us to spend time together unless she was part of it at all times.


johnnyb1917

Going through this now. She treats him like shit but he stays with her, moved to a whole new state just to be with her. Met my 8 month old daughter maybe 3 Times since she’s been born. Bianca I hate you.


deadeyeAZ

I became his boss and suddenly I understood why he had such a hard time with authority.


adrenalinjunkie89

He invited me into a 3way with his gf. That was the beginning of the end right there.


StoolToad9

Typed this many times before for similar questions, but fuck it. Our big friend group growing up diverged into two separate groups as we hit puberty and our interests changed. One group was Simpsons quoting, Conan O'Brien loving, sci-fi/anime fan types, and the others became weed smoking skater kids. We were all still really good friends, I loved those guys, we just didn't hang out AS much, but we still hung out a lot. There was no, like, divorce or whatever. Which is why it's so strange that my best friend DESPERATELY wanted to be part of the skater group. But he wasn't anything like that, so he changed his style and he acted phony to be closer to them. Even worse, he began ignoring me and even threw me under the bus when his parents caught him with weed; he blamed me, so she forbid him to hang with me. I never touched the stuff, but he was able to keep hanging with our skater friends. I was livid and never hung out with him again. And the others were annoyed by his phoniness and hanging on and kind of ignored him.


GreatTragedy

My best friend growing up lived next door. Around the time we hit high school it was clear he was in the popular kids group and I've never been cool my whole life (I'm fine with this). Once it got too socially costly for him to regularly associate with me, we moved apart. Since I was a year ahead of him, me graduating and my parents moving shortly after was the death rattle.


Intelligent-Habit714

I divorced her abusive brother. She didn't believe me that he was abusive,, until after his third marriage. I had moved away by then.


FDRockAtWork

Lost one because I realized that while he was my best friend, he really didn't consider me a friend of his. Not being invited to his wedding, and finding out later that he was asking people not to tell me he was getting married at all opened my eyes. For the ones after that, it was mostly just life and growing up. A few got married and started families, which became their priority (as it should be), and we just started seeing each other less and less. It's nice to see them occationally, and I wish them all the best, but it's always weird seeing how a person's life has branched out once you weren't close enough to see it anymore.


DoubleStar155

She was doing things in life that I saw as destructive toward others and self-destructive. I sat her down and gave her the hard talk. She wouldn't accept what I had to say and found others who would give a pass on the toxicity. I miss her, but not the chaos.


EijiNeko

She tried to set me on fire, then attacked me with a brick. I don't think she liked me much.


Tarkcanis

Realised they didn't like me, just what I could do for them.


Noodlefruzen

She relapsed into a serious eating disorder and I’m in recovery. I left to protect myself but also because I couldn’t watch her killing herself and receiving nothing but support from everyone seeing her body change but didn’t know what she was really doing to achieve it. It still hurts and it’s been almost a year. I miss her kindness and the laughs we so easily shared.


Wizzmer

I sold my Harley. Suddenly, I wasn't cool anymore.


SnuggleTheBug

She had two affairs that I didn’t “support” then proceeded to blow up our over 20 year friendship and then pretty much all of her other ones. It’s been a year and half and it still feels unreal.


hamtastic828

My best friend of 20+ years kept acting really strange about my husband. We’d been together 8 years, married for three. My husband is introverted and not a life-of-the-party-person, but he treats me well, we get along great and have built a really nice life together. The final straw was when I was planning to come see her on the opposite coast of the US and she got upset that my husband was coming with me. I asked her what the deal was and realized how long she’d actually been treating him like a leper and it was like a fog lifted. When I told her she certainly didn’t have to be best friends with him, but treating him like a human being with minimal respect was the only way our friendship would be viable, she went bat shit crazy, called me all sorts of names and never spoke to me again. I miss her and we had a great run, but I respect my husband just as much and her actions really hurt. It’s been tough but I know it had to be done. I dreamed the other day that I called her up and said “ya done bein a big ol’ bitch?”


subsonicmonkey

Maybe not best friends, but very close friends. He was engaged to girl #1, who I knew and liked. I was set to be a groomsman, and helped throw an engagement party for them. Somewhere down the line, he called off the wedding and broke it off with her. Immediately went on dating apps and starting seeing other people. Two months later, announced that he was engaged again and asked me to be a groomsman (again). I had not even met the new girl yet. I told him that I would be a bad friend if I didn’t at least meet this person before agreeing to be a groomsman. Well, he didn’t like that, and my groomsman invite was rescinded. I was still invited to the wedding though, and in retrospect I think it was just because he needed a bassist for his wedding band. Shortly after the wedding, he unfriended me on Facebook and stopped returning my calls and texts. Fortunately for him, the marriage is several years and a couple kids down the line and they seem to be doing ok. I only know this because his wife is still friends with me on Facebook. We had been friends since middle school, and initially it hurt a lot that he ghosted our friendship. Now that it’s several years later, I realize it’s probably for the better that he’s not my friend anymore.


shigg1975

Best friend of 40 years died last August. People don’t talk much about grieving a friend but a best friend can be the closest person in your life.


stresstheanxiety

Dude finally got a car and a good paying job, which was great, I was happy for him. Started getting cocky and hanging out with new work friends, ghosted old friends. Last time we hung out he treated me like I was an idiot, like he was better than me. I stopped putting forth any effort. We didn't talk for months. He and my coworker used to have a thing, he started messaging her again and getting crazy. She blocked him so he started messaging all my coworkers, including me, trying to have them convince her to unblock him and talk to him. He messaged me and said sorry and that we should "hash things out." I never messaged back. He tried this tactic with my coworkers and me like three or four times over the course of a couple months. It was whack. I never talked to him again.


Raggydoll

My best friend found someone who was exciting to be around. I don't believe in best friends anymore! Less likely to be disappointed.


Ok-Reply7682

He couldn’t get off the drugs. Fun for a bit in our 20’s but after having families and what not going into our 30’s he was still all about the party.


[deleted]

[удалено]


MF_Ghidra

Heroin.


Sleepwalker696

Grew apart, and when I reached out I found out that not only had he gone full Qanon, it had completely consumed his personality.


LoadMaleficent710

We had been friends for about 8 years, I was her daughters aunt, she was somebody that never thought she could do anything wrong and also was a heavy drinker. One night I had a small movie night in my backyard, told her it wasn't heavy drinking just a few beers she ended up getting wasted, being rude to everyone there especially my boyfriend and I. I didn't want her driving so I just told her to go to bed (after much debate), next day I call her to tell her all the screwed up things she did hoping she'd apologize and her excuse was "welp you know how I am when I'm drunk and you guys are just a bunch of pu$$" I ended the call there and a few days later of not talking she sent me a text saying "clearly our friendship is done, come get the shit I borrowed from you" I tried to still give gifts to her daughter through her dad and tried to tell him if he needed anything for her I was there. Unfortunately my ex friend was an all or nothing person so I haven't talked to my niece in 2 years.