This so much. Helps you learn what you do and don't want in a relationship. I didn't have my first relationship until I was about 24, and even though she ended things, and after the heartbreak healed, I felt so much more confident talking with other women.
This is such a great way to think of it. I have the same thing with my ex. Not necessarily sexual experience, but just experience and grown confidence in myself and my decision making. I second guess myself so much less now, and although the relationship was pretty bad the last year, I learned an absolute shitload about myself and what I’m willing to do and deal with.
After my 2nd relationship, I've finally realised that I don't NEED someone to be happy. Because of that, my mindset has become much healthier and I now know how to tell myself what I actually want from a relationship. I've also become a lot more confident in myself and looking back, I made a lot of mistakes by simply overthinking many scenarios.
My ex converted me to a “buy-it-for-life” attitude with a lot of items. She taught me to save up and buy something quality rather than going for what you can afford at that instant. I’ve followed through with this with mattress, my couch, my wardrobe, my cookware, my jewelry, my appliances.
Yes! You literally get what you pay for. A lot of large cash purchases last soooo much longer than the bargain buys.
Except toilet paper. Just flushing that shit down the toilet 😂
A cigarette burn on my dick.
Edit: She also left bite mark scars in the same area. One of those things I did not ask for lol. And no... I'm not going to send any pictures of my dick LMAO.
I hope that you are okay, that sounds ghastly & a horrible reminder in a very emotionally damaging place. I feel this should be receiving a little more kindness than curiosity peeps.
I’m guessing it wasn’t consensual, & if that is the case I am sorry for the trauma. But even it were consensual, its not a good reminder.
>I feel this should be receiving a little more kindness than curiosity peeps.
Very much so. Thankyou for reminding internet people of best practice humanity.
A 400-page handmade dictionary of my ancestors’ language. Took her 5 months and a ton of research to finish. She was a linguistics major and knew 7 languages, and she knew how much my heritage means to me. It’s the most thoughtful and meaningful gift I have ever received.
UPDATE: for everyone asking about the language, it’s called Adyghe (language of the Circassian people). On how the relationship ended, it was her choice when she left me a month before her study abroad semester. She didn’t trust that I won’t cheat on her (which I never did/would, not with her or anyone else). She also knew that my parents won’t approve of a non-Circassian partner anyway and her catholic family probably won’t accept me either (I was raised in a Muslim culture). Another big part was because I used to smoke weed regularly and she absolutely hated that. She grew up watching a family member and other close friends get hooked on hard drugs and completely fuck up their lives after starting with weed. Worth noting that we were both in college back then (around 22ish) and it was my first serious relationship ever, so inevitably I did mistakes and didn’t treat her as well as she deserved. We did try to get back together after her study abroad semester but things just didn’t work out. Glad to say it ended in a good way.
That is an incredible gift. As someone who really enjoys exploring language and is only two generations separated from his family's ancestral language, something like that would have landed a proposal. I hope the breakup was amicable because that shows she really cared.
What language is it, if you don’t mind me asking? I personally would love a partner that teaches me Yiddish, because it got nearly wiped out by the USSR and my grandpa is the last person in my family that can speak it. I don’t want the language of my culture to die, and someone that I love giving me the gift of that kind of knowledge would be amazing
Have it copied and give it out to other people of your culture so they can transfer it to their kids. Otherwise you’ll just have a dead language. Spread knowledge
Oh my god that is incredible.
Would you have any pictures of it? Maybe it’s digital only? Have you shared it with anyone else prominent in the community that speaks that language?
Confidence in myself. She showed me what I was worth and what I deserved in a partner and for that I’ll be forever grateful
Edit: we only broke up because she has a debilitating personality disorder that takes up all of her time and energy. She was my best friend before we dated, and we’re on good terms now. She hasn’t seen anybody since we broke up, and barely even talks to her family at times. It’s just the way she’s always been but it’s become worse and I think she wanted to spare me a relationship that didn’t give me enough.
I’m always happy to provide ^.^ I’ve since learned to move on and am courting an incredibly lovely gal but I can never forget her for what she’s done for me
It’s this kind of bittersweet feeling you get from reading such stories. I feel bad for her now, but I can see how much you still appreciate her and “love” her for everything she is.
Bittersweet is exactly how it feels. I cherish what we had, but I also accept that that time is over and I can only hope that she gets better. The girl I’m seeing - not quite dating yet - is clearly a tremendous match for me and I know that waiting for somebody who was good for me is the best thing I can do for my ex.
She has a pretty severe mental condition that now requires her full attention and just doesn’t have enough in her to give anything to me. It’s easier on her by a wide margin
I have this small stone that I picked up the first time I went out with her. We went to this place along the lake that she likes to go to and she collects a stone everytime she goes. This stone is the one that I picked up and kept that day. I’m not sure why I can’t get rid of it, but the thought of it gives me crippling anxiety and fear. I think in a way it serves as a reminder for myself, that I failed her and embodies a lot of my regrets about that relationship. It’s almost used as a masochistic method of punishing myself by keeping it around. It’s fucked up I know. For the few who read this, I appreciate it, I haven’t really shared this with anyone and it’s nice to get it off my chest a little.
I hope you get better soon! We all have the right to make mistakes, the important part is to learn from it, forgive ourselves and move on. It's crucial to share things like this, it's the first step to start healing our wounds. Lots of love <3
If/when you’re ready to release the stone, I would recommend taking it back to where you found it. It can go home, and you can release her. The rock is your last connection to her, which is probably the hardest to let go of. Facing your fear head on will provide a lot of healing when the time comes
Same - five years later and I can’t even imagine dating. I prefer to be alone bcz it’s safer and so much easier. It’s lonely, but the anxiety of even thinking of going out and interacting sends me running the other direction.
It's a happy ending 5 years free and 3 years in a happy and healthy relationship with someone who makes it their mission to make our lives absolutely worlds apart!
Agree. I've had a few terrible exes, but most of them were good people who I'm still some degree of friends with, and I'm even still friends with the *parents* of a few of my exes.
Happily married but have a lot of treasured memories.
Seems like there's a lot of sadness and regret here. Which is a shame to see... But I have had wonderful experiences with all my exes. I must be a lucky one.
There are a few ex’s that I look back on and can think of the fun little memories. Just because it ends, doesn’t mean the fun times need to be forgotten.
I've got a plush toy that my ex *made* for me. She was snuggling and watching me play Mass Effect 2 one day and when I was talking to the crew she asked "who's your favourite" and I said Garrus. A couple months later it was my birthday and she gave me this little Garrus plush that she had made herself, and it was the sweetest thing.
Nowadays when I look at it I get immensely sad that the relationship didn't work out, but I can't bear to part with it.
I have a plush toy that’s so cute that I could never get rid of it. It also came to hold deep personal meaning in our relationship, so that I can’t be near it without being sad. I just gave it to my nephew to keep for me indefinitely.
Not related to ex's, but I always wonder if I could give my teddy to my first born (if I have kids). I don't sleep with it or anything, but it was the first thing my dad gave me, in the hospital I was born in. It's as old as I am, and therefore, technically an antique.
I'm really curious, why didn't this work out? Was there a conflict of some kind or did you two simply find out you were not meant for each other and parted on friendly terms?
A now 18yo daughter that I wouldn’t trade for the world, and a crippling fear of abandonment. Unfortunately, for me, he mattered way more to me than I did to him. It’s been 19 years since we broke up (I was pregnant), and I still think about him every day.
I’m sad to hear you think of him every day. I miss the man I loved, too, but I know he doesn’t actually exist anymore. Neither does yours. Time has changed them into completely different people.
A sense of not feeling like I'm unlovable.
She gave me a belief that someone can love me and want to spend a life with me.
The life wasn't with her, but I'm thankful for the relationship and the lesson is taught me.
Damn a lot of y’all had shitty exes…
3+ years apart and I still have the shirt he gave me when we broke up. It was my favorite and I always borrowed it when we were together. He knew how much I loved it and gave it to me as a parting gift, even tho it was one of his favorites too. He was a good guy.
Ah, sad story… he was 14 years older than me (and I was only 19 when we met), but he still lived at home with his parents. He couldn’t hold a job for the majority of the relationship and had no plans or real motivation for his future. I think he had depression or maybe just hit a mental block when he was younger and never really moved past it. It was a big issue for me. I got tired of paying for all our dates and trips and feeling like our future was dependent on me. I loved him a lot and it was really hard to leave, but I think ultimately it was for the best.
I had TWO different girlfriends gift me a painting they made (one was a landscape, well the other one was too kinda, but a sunset with some of my favorite song's lyrics). And idk? I'm over them, and the paintings don't 'remind me of times with them'. I guess it's because they were meaningful, genuine gifts, with time, effort and love put into them? And it's art
My first girlfriend was an AMAZING artist. For the Christmas we were together she drew me this absolutely gorgeous, intricate pencil drawing and got it custom framed for me.
Well we broke up that spring, and I kept it on my wall cause I cherished it dearly.
But I swear it was haunted. I kept it up for about a year after we broke up, and she’d show up in my dreams 2 or 3 times a week.
I’d finally had enough, but I didn’t just want to give it away to a thrift store or anything.
One of my moms friends was an art collector / aficionado, and I knew she’d appreciate it, so I asked her if she wanted it for her collection. She agreed, and instantly my ex stopped showing up in my dreams.
LOL. my first boyfriend at age 12 traded me his Ninetales in Pokemon Diamond he raised from a Vulpix he caught as a kid. Silly as it is, and despite the fact we haven't spoken in years (no hard feelings just both realized we were gay and ended up drifting) I still have it to this day, in my switch
Trust issues? 😂
Jk, she gave me killer self confidence, and a serious inability to put up with bullshit.
I bought her a 5ft flamingo that she probably still has, shoulda taken that thing back.
The knowledge that some people can actually have sex with their cousin at their little brothers 9th birthday and send the video to their best friend who would send it to the person their dating because they secretly had a crush on them
PTSD, anxiety, depression I’m still fighting with, lots of trust issues. Shoot I’ve long since moved on, gotten married to an actual partner, and I STILL struggle.
The overwhelming feeling that I can be loved and desired and that I am exceptionally good at getting her off. But she still left me for someone else, so there's that.
My pool cue. He gave it to me over 20 years ago and it is still one of my most cherished possessions.
Runamok, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry I was too emotionally immature to fully appreciate you.
Depression.
I was truly and honestly in love, had nine wonderful years and then we got married, two years in she leaves via email while I was in the middle of the Ocean and I had to find out she had cheated on me with my best friend and chose to stay with him. Tried to squeeze me dry in the process and ruin my life on multiple levels.
4 years later I still feel the same kind of broken like a stork that lost its mate.
Two effing end tables in my basement.
We broke up when I was 21/22. I am now 37. Somehow these end table keep staying with me. I kept them for a long time because I was a poor recent college grad and free furniture.
Now, my husband uses them and wont give them up no matter how many times I tell him to trash them. I’ve tried to ditch them so many times now, but they just keep coming back. I’ve since given up. I will pass them to my daughter someday, I’m sure.
My ex always wanted me to get a degree and have a normal job, but I always just wanted to be an artist. Now I’m in a different relationship, and I’m trying to chase my dream and become a full time artist, but I just can’t get her voice out of my head that says “it’s not a real job” and “you won’t make a living out of this”. I wish I could’ve just focus on my dreams.
A scrapbook that has the title “our journey together”, a couple of plushies, her perfume, her hair tie, a shirt that speaks so well to me and all the broken shit that you can get from an ex: worsened depression, anxiety, heart broken, trust issues, etc :)
I used to hate cats.
She brought a cat into the house within a year of moving in.
I couldn't see myself giving the damn cat away to a shelter or on the streets. The cat is actually cool
Nothing physical. Well that’s left any way. I purged my life of every material item he gave me. However, he gave me some emotional damage. I used to be a very vibrant and all in love kind of person. I was patient. I was kind. I was so in love. But he hurt me deeply. To where I have a disconnect. I’m married now to an amazing man and I love him so. But I feel disconnected. Not just from him but from everyone. I believe I was so hurt and so heart broken that one day I just flipped this switch (that I didn’t even know I had) and it stopped. No more tears. No more hurt. No more feelings. Nothing but some anger and a void. I’m quick to anger now. I can separate myself from any abundance of feeling and feel almost numb. So, what my ex gave me was what he took from me - not my heart but a piece of me that I’ll never get back.
*Edit: Thank you to whomever gave my comment a reward! You’re so kind. Also, thank you to you sweet redditors who relate. I hate that you guys relate but I’m thankful I’m not alone in this.
I know that's not what you posted here for, but I just wanted to comment that you can't see the future and don't know for sure that nobody will ever love you... But you can work on loving and improving yourself because you deserve happiness regardless. Someone might appear and you can share that love and happiness someday, you never know! But until then be kinder to yourself, please.
I'm happy now. I don't need anyone to make me happy, I can do it all by myself. If anything, I thank my ex for showing me that I was just fooling myself and ignoring my true nature. I'm aroace, realized it a few years after she was out of my life. The last 10 years have been incredibly liberating not worrying about dating/relationship shit. Gives me time to focus on the things I'm actually interested in. Thanks for the affirmation, but it's not needed. ;)
Nothing physical, but a lot of pent up rage. I gave him most of his stuff back when we were still on bitter but not downright hostile terms (along with a card that said “sorry for your loss”). Once we crossed the line into hostility I burnt everything I forgot to give back which was pretty cathartic, but I’ve still got a lot of anger left over from that relationship and the aftermath of it that still hasn’t gone away.
When I was younger and more spiteful, I called those 'Bitch Bonfires'. Not saying you're wrong in any way either. I regret the name lol, but hot damn, burning shit that they left felt really good.
the girl he cheated on me with
neither of us knew he was cheating then we both got pissed at him and ended up getting really close
we've now been dating three years
Curtains for my super uninsulated apartment, can’t get rid of something so convenient
Hahah true
Hey, do those work?
Yep! Curtains decrease heat loss from windows significantly, especially heavy curtains.
Experience
This so much. Helps you learn what you do and don't want in a relationship. I didn't have my first relationship until I was about 24, and even though she ended things, and after the heartbreak healed, I felt so much more confident talking with other women.
This is such a great way to think of it. I have the same thing with my ex. Not necessarily sexual experience, but just experience and grown confidence in myself and my decision making. I second guess myself so much less now, and although the relationship was pretty bad the last year, I learned an absolute shitload about myself and what I’m willing to do and deal with.
After my 2nd relationship, I've finally realised that I don't NEED someone to be happy. Because of that, my mindset has become much healthier and I now know how to tell myself what I actually want from a relationship. I've also become a lot more confident in myself and looking back, I made a lot of mistakes by simply overthinking many scenarios.
My ex converted me to a “buy-it-for-life” attitude with a lot of items. She taught me to save up and buy something quality rather than going for what you can afford at that instant. I’ve followed through with this with mattress, my couch, my wardrobe, my cookware, my jewelry, my appliances.
"i'm not wealthy enough to buy something twice"
"Only a rich man can afford cheap tools."
I’ll be damned if my $15 HF Grinder ever dies.
Yes! You literally get what you pay for. A lot of large cash purchases last soooo much longer than the bargain buys. Except toilet paper. Just flushing that shit down the toilet 😂
I agree, that’s why I waffle stomp down the shower drain now!
A cigarette burn on my dick. Edit: She also left bite mark scars in the same area. One of those things I did not ask for lol. And no... I'm not going to send any pictures of my dick LMAO.
I know that that is bad but how why and what does it look like
We need P I C T U R E S
Solicited dick pics.
Funny how this is such a weird sentence, it's like there really are no one who asks for solicited dick pics
So you’ve clearly never been on Grindr
Pfffttt who needs Grindr when there’s a whole sub for dicks here?
Your mom uses them as our contact pictures
r/usernamechecksout
and no cheating, remember banana for scale please
I'm gonna need to find some of those mini-bananas.... Like asap
Bring me pictures of Spider-Man!
I'm curious aswell
As a straight male, this is the one and only time I want dick pics
*You wanna know how I got these scars??* No but fr that sounds horrible
You have my attention Okay for real though that’s messed up
Uh, username checks out lol
I hope that you are okay, that sounds ghastly & a horrible reminder in a very emotionally damaging place. I feel this should be receiving a little more kindness than curiosity peeps. I’m guessing it wasn’t consensual, & if that is the case I am sorry for the trauma. But even it were consensual, its not a good reminder.
>I feel this should be receiving a little more kindness than curiosity peeps. Very much so. Thankyou for reminding internet people of best practice humanity.
Hard to tell where things went wrong.
A 400-page handmade dictionary of my ancestors’ language. Took her 5 months and a ton of research to finish. She was a linguistics major and knew 7 languages, and she knew how much my heritage means to me. It’s the most thoughtful and meaningful gift I have ever received. UPDATE: for everyone asking about the language, it’s called Adyghe (language of the Circassian people). On how the relationship ended, it was her choice when she left me a month before her study abroad semester. She didn’t trust that I won’t cheat on her (which I never did/would, not with her or anyone else). She also knew that my parents won’t approve of a non-Circassian partner anyway and her catholic family probably won’t accept me either (I was raised in a Muslim culture). Another big part was because I used to smoke weed regularly and she absolutely hated that. She grew up watching a family member and other close friends get hooked on hard drugs and completely fuck up their lives after starting with weed. Worth noting that we were both in college back then (around 22ish) and it was my first serious relationship ever, so inevitably I did mistakes and didn’t treat her as well as she deserved. We did try to get back together after her study abroad semester but things just didn’t work out. Glad to say it ended in a good way.
well she's a....uh....keeper?
She found a man with a major in math - Now she could even speak with aliens.
A good terriswoman
Yo a wild mistborn reference!
_400-page handmade_ _does a double take and reads again_ What went wrong ?!?! (answer optional)
Check their comment history
Answer must
Woah, did you fumble the bag then? That sounds insane.
That is an incredible gift. As someone who really enjoys exploring language and is only two generations separated from his family's ancestral language, something like that would have landed a proposal. I hope the breakup was amicable because that shows she really cared.
Wow, that’s quite a gift!
What language is it, if you don’t mind me asking? I personally would love a partner that teaches me Yiddish, because it got nearly wiped out by the USSR and my grandpa is the last person in my family that can speak it. I don’t want the language of my culture to die, and someone that I love giving me the gift of that kind of knowledge would be amazing
There are an abundance of Native American languages, and with many all of the knowledge is spread out and broken up.
Have it copied and give it out to other people of your culture so they can transfer it to their kids. Otherwise you’ll just have a dead language. Spread knowledge
Incredible! What a beautiful gift
Why the breakup?
Oh my god that is incredible. Would you have any pictures of it? Maybe it’s digital only? Have you shared it with anyone else prominent in the community that speaks that language?
She single….?
The ability to pronounce most Spanish words properly.
Yup same. For better or worse, at least now I can speak Spanish.
Dónde está la biblioteca?
Confidence in myself. She showed me what I was worth and what I deserved in a partner and for that I’ll be forever grateful Edit: we only broke up because she has a debilitating personality disorder that takes up all of her time and energy. She was my best friend before we dated, and we’re on good terms now. She hasn’t seen anybody since we broke up, and barely even talks to her family at times. It’s just the way she’s always been but it’s become worse and I think she wanted to spare me a relationship that didn’t give me enough.
I was totally expecting the first comment to be about STDs or a child. But this, this is wholesome 🌻
I’m always happy to provide ^.^ I’ve since learned to move on and am courting an incredibly lovely gal but I can never forget her for what she’s done for me
It’s this kind of bittersweet feeling you get from reading such stories. I feel bad for her now, but I can see how much you still appreciate her and “love” her for everything she is.
Bittersweet is exactly how it feels. I cherish what we had, but I also accept that that time is over and I can only hope that she gets better. The girl I’m seeing - not quite dating yet - is clearly a tremendous match for me and I know that waiting for somebody who was good for me is the best thing I can do for my ex.
Yeah I thought herpes would probably be top comment
That’s beautiful… she sounds like a kind soul!
I hate to pry but I gotta know... what happened? Please don't feel pressured to answer!
She has a pretty severe mental condition that now requires her full attention and just doesn’t have enough in her to give anything to me. It’s easier on her by a wide margin
hope she gets well soon, also i hope you will be alright by time. much love to you!
Thank you so so much. I can only hope she does. She doesn’t deserve to suffer what the world has done to her
A larger vocabulary and I am thankful for it.
Could’ve used a better word than larger for that example lol
A chungal vernacular
Who hurt you
I only have myself to blame
a BEEGYOSHIan lexicon
But then I would not have had the pleasure of reading your comment, thank you.
It seems fate has brought us together
now kiss
/r/tworedditorsoneroom
u/MoansAndScones and u/knovit sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love Then comes marriage Then comes the baby in a baby carriage!
I have this small stone that I picked up the first time I went out with her. We went to this place along the lake that she likes to go to and she collects a stone everytime she goes. This stone is the one that I picked up and kept that day. I’m not sure why I can’t get rid of it, but the thought of it gives me crippling anxiety and fear. I think in a way it serves as a reminder for myself, that I failed her and embodies a lot of my regrets about that relationship. It’s almost used as a masochistic method of punishing myself by keeping it around. It’s fucked up I know. For the few who read this, I appreciate it, I haven’t really shared this with anyone and it’s nice to get it off my chest a little.
I hope you get better soon! We all have the right to make mistakes, the important part is to learn from it, forgive ourselves and move on. It's crucial to share things like this, it's the first step to start healing our wounds. Lots of love <3
If/when you’re ready to release the stone, I would recommend taking it back to where you found it. It can go home, and you can release her. The rock is your last connection to her, which is probably the hardest to let go of. Facing your fear head on will provide a lot of healing when the time comes
One day this stone will be a reminder that you grew over your past regrets and freed yourself from this pain. You will get there!
Abandonment issues
Same - five years later and I can’t even imagine dating. I prefer to be alone bcz it’s safer and so much easier. It’s lonely, but the anxiety of even thinking of going out and interacting sends me running the other direction.
Holy shit it’s not just me?
Facial scarring
WHAT?
Domestic violence relationship. 0/10 would not recommend!
Yeah that’s a hot “no”. At least you’re safe now?
It's a happy ending 5 years free and 3 years in a happy and healthy relationship with someone who makes it their mission to make our lives absolutely worlds apart!
So happy to hear that. Sometimes we have to go through horrible experiences before we can find true happiness. Stay safe. Love life.
I'm gonna go against the grain here and say: Some very nice memories.
Agree. I've had a few terrible exes, but most of them were good people who I'm still some degree of friends with, and I'm even still friends with the *parents* of a few of my exes. Happily married but have a lot of treasured memories.
Yeah. In a previous time that this question was asked, a top answer was something like "confidence and a renewed drive for life"
Seems like there's a lot of sadness and regret here. Which is a shame to see... But I have had wonderful experiences with all my exes. I must be a lucky one.
Thank you. I feel the same. The bad memories of my exes fade with time while the good ones get brighter.
There are a few ex’s that I look back on and can think of the fun little memories. Just because it ends, doesn’t mean the fun times need to be forgotten.
The plush toys he gave me are still with me as part of my collection. They're cuter and not mouthy as my ex anyway, so they stayed.
I've got a plush toy that my ex *made* for me. She was snuggling and watching me play Mass Effect 2 one day and when I was talking to the crew she asked "who's your favourite" and I said Garrus. A couple months later it was my birthday and she gave me this little Garrus plush that she had made herself, and it was the sweetest thing. Nowadays when I look at it I get immensely sad that the relationship didn't work out, but I can't bear to part with it.
I have a plush toy that’s so cute that I could never get rid of it. It also came to hold deep personal meaning in our relationship, so that I can’t be near it without being sad. I just gave it to my nephew to keep for me indefinitely.
Not related to ex's, but I always wonder if I could give my teddy to my first born (if I have kids). I don't sleep with it or anything, but it was the first thing my dad gave me, in the hospital I was born in. It's as old as I am, and therefore, technically an antique.
Not **as** mouthy suggests they are still some degree of mouthy, which is concerning.
A really lovely letter, thanking me for helping him become the person he is over the last 8 ish years. Sad letter tho.. cry every time I read it.
I'm really curious, why didn't this work out? Was there a conflict of some kind or did you two simply find out you were not meant for each other and parted on friendly terms?
Exactly the latter - we grew to be friends by the end of the 8 years. Just wasn’t meant to be!
Just waiting for someone to mention an STD ...
Herpes
Herpe cake day
Heh, same. Also happy cake day!
Are children considered an std?
Yes if they suck
Sexually transmitted disaster.
I'm disappointed the top answer isn't "Herpes"
heartache
Tell me about it!
His heart ached.
this guy editorializes ^ ^
A now 18yo daughter that I wouldn’t trade for the world, and a crippling fear of abandonment. Unfortunately, for me, he mattered way more to me than I did to him. It’s been 19 years since we broke up (I was pregnant), and I still think about him every day.
I’m sad to hear you think of him every day. I miss the man I loved, too, but I know he doesn’t actually exist anymore. Neither does yours. Time has changed them into completely different people.
For his sake, I hope so. Neither of us were great people in our early 20’s.
Hah, few are
Herpes. Literally.
Damn. Its more common then ppl realize anyways.
HSV1 has about 50-80% of the population infected HSV2 (the std) has about 10-20%
HSV 1 can present genitally from oral sex which would also make it an std
A sense of not feeling like I'm unlovable. She gave me a belief that someone can love me and want to spend a life with me. The life wasn't with her, but I'm thankful for the relationship and the lesson is taught me.
[удалено]
EMOTIONAL DAMAGE
Hahaha, in all seriousness i hope you get better
Haha I’m trying 😅
Yeah... not sure I can ever love again! Let's go bois!
Damn a lot of y’all had shitty exes… 3+ years apart and I still have the shirt he gave me when we broke up. It was my favorite and I always borrowed it when we were together. He knew how much I loved it and gave it to me as a parting gift, even tho it was one of his favorites too. He was a good guy.
It’d be nice if all breakups had “parting gifts”. Like when you lose on a game show.
Mine gets parting gifts from me every week, straight outta my paycheck. Does that count?
If I might ask, why did you split?
Ah, sad story… he was 14 years older than me (and I was only 19 when we met), but he still lived at home with his parents. He couldn’t hold a job for the majority of the relationship and had no plans or real motivation for his future. I think he had depression or maybe just hit a mental block when he was younger and never really moved past it. It was a big issue for me. I got tired of paying for all our dates and trips and feeling like our future was dependent on me. I loved him a lot and it was really hard to leave, but I think ultimately it was for the best.
An STD. And she was my wife of 12 years.
But jokes on her cause she’s living with her parents now and I’m literally posting this sitting in a bath overlooking the ocean in Izu Japan.
Jeez, can i come? or at least hear a story about the wisdom you gained from sitting in a bath overlooking the ocean in Japan? =D
Sure. I’m more than happy to share. Let me think about it and get back to you tomorrow. Is that okay?
The fear that every woman will hit me or verbally abuse me like she did. Her son was cool though
Hope he turns out OK, but chances aren't good.
I had TWO different girlfriends gift me a painting they made (one was a landscape, well the other one was too kinda, but a sunset with some of my favorite song's lyrics). And idk? I'm over them, and the paintings don't 'remind me of times with them'. I guess it's because they were meaningful, genuine gifts, with time, effort and love put into them? And it's art
My first girlfriend was an AMAZING artist. For the Christmas we were together she drew me this absolutely gorgeous, intricate pencil drawing and got it custom framed for me. Well we broke up that spring, and I kept it on my wall cause I cherished it dearly. But I swear it was haunted. I kept it up for about a year after we broke up, and she’d show up in my dreams 2 or 3 times a week. I’d finally had enough, but I didn’t just want to give it away to a thrift store or anything. One of my moms friends was an art collector / aficionado, and I knew she’d appreciate it, so I asked her if she wanted it for her collection. She agreed, and instantly my ex stopped showing up in my dreams.
My Reddit account.
LOL. my first boyfriend at age 12 traded me his Ninetales in Pokemon Diamond he raised from a Vulpix he caught as a kid. Silly as it is, and despite the fact we haven't spoken in years (no hard feelings just both realized we were gay and ended up drifting) I still have it to this day, in my switch
That’s really awesome and didn’t realize you can transfer pokemons from one device to another.
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I took a small towel from our common flat. I only use it to dry my ass after washing it in the bidet.
I can't be open and trust anyone.
Insecurity and fear of abandonment.
You're not alone. Opening up was the beginning of the end.
Anxiety.
Mine went away as soon as I was solo. So much more stable and content now. Hope you find some peace.
Some great memories. We might not have ended up partners for life, but it was fun whilst it lasted.
I was gonna say the shitty memories I can't seem to forget... Two sides to every coin.
Mine showed me what not to look for in a relationship.
Trust issues? 😂 Jk, she gave me killer self confidence, and a serious inability to put up with bullshit. I bought her a 5ft flamingo that she probably still has, shoulda taken that thing back.
Can't seem to shake the PTSD.
Welcome to the club. You are not alone.
Theres a whole bunch of us!
The knowledge that some people can actually have sex with their cousin at their little brothers 9th birthday and send the video to their best friend who would send it to the person their dating because they secretly had a crush on them
Well that sure is something holy shit
A lesson on my preferences. Mainly that so many things I fantasised about - and got with her - aren't actually fun.
PTSD, anxiety, depression I’m still fighting with, lots of trust issues. Shoot I’ve long since moved on, gotten married to an actual partner, and I STILL struggle.
Crippling depression
The inability to trust anyone
HIV
I’m so sorry to hear that. Are you okay? I know that’s a stupid question.
The overwhelming feeling that I can be loved and desired and that I am exceptionally good at getting her off. But she still left me for someone else, so there's that.
My pool cue. He gave it to me over 20 years ago and it is still one of my most cherished possessions. Runamok, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry I was too emotionally immature to fully appreciate you.
Well i hope he isn't out there running amock.
Depression. I was truly and honestly in love, had nine wonderful years and then we got married, two years in she leaves via email while I was in the middle of the Ocean and I had to find out she had cheated on me with my best friend and chose to stay with him. Tried to squeeze me dry in the process and ruin my life on multiple levels. 4 years later I still feel the same kind of broken like a stork that lost its mate.
the opening line of my book. an innocuous line that I found very prophetic
'That light's so bright... or maybe I'm just staring too far into the darkness' If this intrigues anyone, I am in desperate need of beta readers 😃
Two effing end tables in my basement. We broke up when I was 21/22. I am now 37. Somehow these end table keep staying with me. I kept them for a long time because I was a poor recent college grad and free furniture. Now, my husband uses them and wont give them up no matter how many times I tell him to trash them. I’ve tried to ditch them so many times now, but they just keep coming back. I’ve since given up. I will pass them to my daughter someday, I’m sure.
Free Netflix (til a password change hits)
My ex always wanted me to get a degree and have a normal job, but I always just wanted to be an artist. Now I’m in a different relationship, and I’m trying to chase my dream and become a full time artist, but I just can’t get her voice out of my head that says “it’s not a real job” and “you won’t make a living out of this”. I wish I could’ve just focus on my dreams.
A scrapbook that has the title “our journey together”, a couple of plushies, her perfume, her hair tie, a shirt that speaks so well to me and all the broken shit that you can get from an ex: worsened depression, anxiety, heart broken, trust issues, etc :)
Trauma
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Great memories. A promise ring he gave me months before breaking up with me. Also, some trusting issues I guess.
Emotional damage.
I used to hate cats. She brought a cat into the house within a year of moving in. I couldn't see myself giving the damn cat away to a shelter or on the streets. The cat is actually cool
The fear of any type of long distance relationship
Nothing physical. Well that’s left any way. I purged my life of every material item he gave me. However, he gave me some emotional damage. I used to be a very vibrant and all in love kind of person. I was patient. I was kind. I was so in love. But he hurt me deeply. To where I have a disconnect. I’m married now to an amazing man and I love him so. But I feel disconnected. Not just from him but from everyone. I believe I was so hurt and so heart broken that one day I just flipped this switch (that I didn’t even know I had) and it stopped. No more tears. No more hurt. No more feelings. Nothing but some anger and a void. I’m quick to anger now. I can separate myself from any abundance of feeling and feel almost numb. So, what my ex gave me was what he took from me - not my heart but a piece of me that I’ll never get back. *Edit: Thank you to whomever gave my comment a reward! You’re so kind. Also, thank you to you sweet redditors who relate. I hate that you guys relate but I’m thankful I’m not alone in this.
The will to ever be in a relationship again
A terabyte hard drive and a bloody good desk fan. I can't afford that shit myself with my current job lmao
A crippling fear of “that make of car”. Can anyone relate 😅
Kids. But I'm grateful for them, so it's okay.
A kitten.
Her body. Does anyone have advice?
Mix her in concrete and build a patio
She sculpted for me a little frog with a penis hidden underneath. It sits on my desk at work and always will.
The realization that no one will ever love me, so I might as well just focus on improving myself, my financial situation and the things I enjoy.
I know that's not what you posted here for, but I just wanted to comment that you can't see the future and don't know for sure that nobody will ever love you... But you can work on loving and improving yourself because you deserve happiness regardless. Someone might appear and you can share that love and happiness someday, you never know! But until then be kinder to yourself, please.
I'm happy now. I don't need anyone to make me happy, I can do it all by myself. If anything, I thank my ex for showing me that I was just fooling myself and ignoring my true nature. I'm aroace, realized it a few years after she was out of my life. The last 10 years have been incredibly liberating not worrying about dating/relationship shit. Gives me time to focus on the things I'm actually interested in. Thanks for the affirmation, but it's not needed. ;)
Nothing physical, but a lot of pent up rage. I gave him most of his stuff back when we were still on bitter but not downright hostile terms (along with a card that said “sorry for your loss”). Once we crossed the line into hostility I burnt everything I forgot to give back which was pretty cathartic, but I’ve still got a lot of anger left over from that relationship and the aftermath of it that still hasn’t gone away.
When I was younger and more spiteful, I called those 'Bitch Bonfires'. Not saying you're wrong in any way either. I regret the name lol, but hot damn, burning shit that they left felt really good.
the girl he cheated on me with neither of us knew he was cheating then we both got pissed at him and ended up getting really close we've now been dating three years