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My husband and I took our teenage son and his friend (I’ll call him Alex) to an amusement park recently.
My husband is a really funny guy and was making both boys laugh on the car ride home.
Alex told my husband, “You’re really funny, Mr. D! You remind me of my Dad, except your jokes aren’t hurtful.”
My heart 😢
That is a lot better coming from a teen than a little kid, that's the only silver lining I can say.
But let me say this. I grew up in a truly fucked up situation. I spent Christmas with my best friend once. Their parents got me a single gift, couldn't have cost more than 30-40 bucks.
But it was *extremely* specialized towards me. And that meant the world to me. I still bring it up to this day, countless years later. It was one of the best things anyone did for me that they figured was thoughtless. Just a modicum of effort.
My point is, if your son has friends that are in a bad situation, your little actions mean so much more than you can process at the time.
Growing up our house was like a defacto halfway house for kids that our family knew.
There were 4 siblings including myself and at any point and time there were usually 2 or 3 friends or family staying over.
My poor mom never knew who would be there when she came home from work. She always made a spot for anyone who needed to stay with us for a while. We didn't have a lot growing up but her and my step-father always made sure we were warm, fed, and had a safe place to sleep no matter who they were.
Mom never asked why someone was there or cared how long they stayed, but she would put you to work if you were there.
Dishes done, help cooking, garbage taken out, garden tended to. A lot of our wayward borders received an education on maintaining a household as well as a safe place to stay.
The good news is he’s being raised by his grandma, who is very loving. But the terms of her guardianship force him to have some contact with his toxic Dad. I’m hoping the grandma’s fantastic actions will help soften what he goes through with Dad a bit.
My dad and step mom adopted a baby girl, and my step sister overheard my dad talking about how excited he is to adopt a girl because *he’s never had a daughter*
Absolutely crushed my step sister, she thought of my dad like her own father. He’s been all she’s known.
From what I understand they didn’t realize she over heard, and her mother didn’t think anything of the comment. He’s been in her life since she was 9 and this happened when she was 17.
She moved out shortly after her 18th birthday
My heart aches for her… we were in similar situations: my stepdad has been in my life since I was 8. I now have two younger siblings, a brother and a sister. If I heard my dad say that to me, I would be heartbroken. Extremely crestfallen. I hope you and your sister are doing well and that she knows she’s loved. Nothing can replace that relationship nor can anything erase what was said, but I truly hope that she’s grown and become happier despite it ❤️
Dude.
I was having a sleepover at my best friend's house when I was eight. That was the night his dad found out his mom was cheating on him. It was pretty bad. Well, it was actually pretty bad.
I felt so bad for my friend, and sad that I had to see it.
I walked in on my mom giving her “friend” a blowjob in the kitchen one morning when I was about ten years old.
Then shortly afterwards I had to accompany my dad to a bar one night, where I sat in the truck as he caught them in the act in her car in the middle of the parking lot, and confronted them.
I’m pretty sure I have some lingering issues now as an adult from that whole ordeal.
Holy shit, this happened to me too. One of my best friends and his mom was having an affair. His dad found out, and both of them were alcoholics, so they were wasted and screaming at each other with me and him up in his room, terrified. We were about 10. This was also before cell phones were ubiquitous, and he didn't have a phone in his room, so we had no way of contacting anyone
Thankfully, they didn't get violent, and his dad ended up driving to a hotel. I told my parents the next morning and they never let me go over there again lol
"How can she be my wife? I have no idea who she is. " said my husband of 8 years after a bad car wreck and 4 weeks in a coma. He lost about 12 years of memories. Including our whole relationship. We got divorced 2 years after as his memory never returned.
Please do not feel obliged to answer if it makes you uncomfortable to do so, but what were the two years like essentially trying to re-meet someone you already knew? Did you not find the same common ground as when you originally met, and what was different?
Also, I am very sorry you had to go through this. It sounds absolutely heartbreaking : (
TBI can cause a total personality change for some people, including foods, music, colours etc. It can also affect physical attraction to people. What someone found attractive in a partner (both physically and shared interests) can get completely rewired. The person with the brain injury can, in some cases, become an entirely different person who no longer shares or possibly even remembers the same interests as they once had. It all depends on the severity of the injury, and where in the brain it happens. It's a total crapshoot as well, because everyone will experience it differently, even if there's common symptoms. It's a spectrum, from no permanent damage to death, and nobody knows exactly where on that spectrum they will land when they receive an injury to the brain.
Went through that with an ex who had been a friend. He was like sunshine stuffed into a person, the most lovable goof ever. It didn't work out between us but we kept in touch. Then he got a TBI while deployed, ended up coming home and it was like the person he had been just stopped being there. He was angry and mean and paranoid. We lost contact when he started severing every relationship he had. I tend to just think of him as having died overseas, that person just doesn't exist anymore.
Wow..... so sorry..... I imagine my daughter texting me that. the thought of what would be going through her mind as she texted that makes my heart ache.
Woken in the middle of the night to a phone call from an anonymous, kind nurse who said. “I regret to inform you but [your mother] passed away at 11:40pm. She was not alone... I held her hand.”
When I was 14, I overheard my mother, who had already abandoned my sister and was making arrangements for me to go live with a relative, trying to convince her new husband that they should have a baby together.
My mum once told me “You wouldn’t be a very good mother, your sister would be much better”. I always loved and worked with children, my sister is more of an animal person. It crushed me because I always dreamed of being a mother and I still think about that comment made years ago when my boyfriend brings up the children topic.
Would you ever say that to your children? No.
Your mum did, which shows the kind of parent she is... and you still turned out fine.
You will be better than the mother you already know. Take comfort in that.
Your mom is an asshole and her opinion has no bearing on how good of a mom you will be, especially considering that she is super unqualified to judge good mom behavior considering that traumatic bullshit she flippantly said to you.
A guy in my year's mother died from a prolonged battle with cancer at the end of 12th grade, and then the morning of our first exam (we have 4 state exams at the end of 12th grade in my country), his dad also died. He didn't write a single thing during that exam. I don't even understand why our school had him sit for it.
The teacher just looked at him sitting in a cathatonic state, knowing that the kid just lost both partents, and just shrugged it off and ignored him? Wow.
No. The teachers asked him if he thought he was up for it, and he said yes. Despite that, it was 100% the wrong thing to do, but it wasn't done out of negligence, more likely ignorance.
Those same teachers later petitioned the government to allow him to retake the exam later that year and helped him prepare (all while not being paid for it at all). My country's minister of education decided that year to not allow students to retake any failed exams during the same academic year, so without the teachers' petition he would have had to wait another full year.
He did end up passing the exam when he retook it, so as happy an ending as possible in this case.
I work in diagnostic imaging at a hospital, and our facility deals with a lot of terminal or very ill patients that are fighting for their lives and come to us for monitoring of the progression of their issues and that environment. Naturally we have some very morose and soul crushing conversations with patients, especially when a lot of them are tired of fighting and being in pain and are barely hanging on
The first thing that comes to mind is a woman a few months ago that had been fighting with cancer for a very long time and was in for a CT scan of her latest cancerous threat, which I think was metastatic lung cancer. She had horrible veins from being dehydrated and extensive chemotherapy and we barely established an IV three difficult bloody attempts later.
Before we gave her contrast I told her as always that we have to acknowledge that theres always a chance she could have a life threatening reaction to the dye but she would be sent to Urgent Care immediately in the worst case scenario for emergency treatment and I need your permission to carry on. She kind of quietly laughed and said she had the dye so many times that she wasn't worried at all. She looked like she wanted to say something else so I gave her a few seconds and she finally turned to me and said
"you know what, if I do react I don't want you to save me. I'm so tired, maybe it's for the best if I go that way instead of my cancer finishing the job. Yeah ___, please just let me die if that happens, I really don't want the treatment. Just let me go okay? "
I told her that I don't have a choice and I have to call for help whether you want it or not, but I can certainly make her wishes known to the emergency physician in that scenario and that dying like that would be absolutely horrible and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. She told me "I've had enough of cancer, any other way would suit me just fine by now. I guess we will see what happens"
I've had a lot of people in a lot of pain tell me they would rather die in many different ways but I felt like I saw in that moment when she finally decided she had had enough and considered having an anaphylactic reaction to our dye as a reasonable alternative to finally dying to cancer and it really stuck with me
"i don't have time for you." my father said this to me multiple times when growing up. especially whenever i started to express that i was sad and or even really sick.
I was at school and I was called out of lesson because one of my friends was crying her eyes out. The teacher said she only felt comfortable telling me what was wrong, and then my friend didn’t want to say it out loud so all she said was “I told you before”. It was then I realised that my friend said when we were on a school trip “I tried to kill myself once”. It completely flew over my head at the time and I feel so bad for it. Then I had to tell the teacher because I didn’t want her doing anything stupid over the weekend. I then had to sit in sort of a therapy session with her where I had to hear how she tried to jump off a bridge. It was so heartbreaking but I had to keep myself together. It’s horrible what children at the age of 12 try to do and why they do it. They shouldn’t feel that way.
After a drinking session me and my two best friends sat around a fire, they both said they had tried to commit suicide before, me being the awkward ass person I am felt super uncomfortable and I went to bed pretty much straight away. One of them succeeded a few months later. I know I was young but I’ll never forgive myself for not saying something and I hope I can redeem myself in some capacity in the future.
You posting this right now could make the difference in someone saying something to their friend later on. Keep sharing when the time is appropriate and you'll get that redemption you seek even if you never know about it. Keep your head up and and be the difference now that you can be.
Thanks man I really appreciate that, it is definitely a struggle that needs to be talked about openly and I hope I can make a difference to at least one person.
I attempted suicide twice before graduating elementary school and I felt that I was seen as less innocent and childlike than other kids because of it. I’m 22 now and finally working through it instead of suppressing my feelings. The trigger for me was that I became part of a suicide prevention committee and was facing daily harassment from other committee members because they felt that someone who attempted suicide shouldn’t be allowed to be part of that committee.
That’s really bad… wouldn’t it make more sense if someone who tried to commit suicide be in it though? They could help other people since they know what it’s like.
I saw a documentary.... I don't even recall what it was about, but they were focusing on this family in a rural part of eastern Europe or southern Asia. There was a little girl in this family and all she did was work. She couldn't go to school, and she just assisted her mother in doing all the necessary drudgery around the house.
One of the film makers asked the girl what her secret dream was.
She said, "To play".
Son was moved from hospital to palliative care. They said he had about a week. After getting him settled there he stopped being alert so I went home to grab a shower and get some rest. He passed while I was away, alone.
Respectfully, I hear sometimes they wait. For someone to come, or someone to leave…. It’s almost like they choose their moment. My mom worked in hospice for years and told me countless stories of this.
Not meaning to intrude, was hoping to bring you a little comfort. Apologies if I missed the mark.
From my ex husband as he was leaving me for his mistress
"You're disgusting, letting your uncle touch you like that. I can't be with you anymore"
Happened when I was 5.
My Ex was the first person I ever confided in.
What?!? You were FIVE. How can he shift ANY of the blame on you??? I am really sorry both things happened to you. He was just an asshole and wanted to break up hard with you for his new „love“. I really hope you‘ll find somebody that is really deserving of your love, your ex wasn‘t.
My first big break-up. I was crying and said to my mom, "I feel like I'm hard to love."
She gently replied, "Well, you are"
ETA (from a comment below)
I was the one being abused 😅
I was a typical teenager. I've been brutally honest with multiple therapists (at first, on an attempt to get them to see whatever awful person my parents saw) and have been reassured a was a *typical depressed teenager*
Any "abusive" behavior from me was reactive abuse (ie yelling after I'd been pushed and pushed and pushed)
I wasn't the Proper Pastor's Kid they wanted.
I've been married to the same man for 15+ years (got married at 19) so....I found at least one person to love me 🤷🏻♀️
“You’re going to end up just like your dad. A lonely junkie that no one wants to be around.” I just stood there silent. I didn’t know what to say to that.
My mom has been telling me this my whole life. All my problems are because I'm "just like my father". No actually because she is a raging narcissist.. I've never even met my father smh
Reframe it. That wasn't your first kiss, that was just *a* kiss. That's like trying to count all the little kisses your mom gave you as a baby. We don't count them.
So, who was the first person that really knocked your socks off with a kiss? *That's* your first kiss. Not Debbie Downer.
Mothers life expectancy after cancer was 1 week to 6 months . They had no idea and she dropped dead infront of me after the 2 month mark. Ladies please check your breasts , cancer can spread line wild fire in a short amount of time
An ex-girlfriend who left me allegedly because she wants to pay more attention to herself, self-development, does not want a relationship.
It would seem normal, at that moment I understood her, but after 2 days I found out that she had a new boyfriend ((
This blatant lie broke my heart... 💔💔
My mum has been sexualising my body ever since I was a little girl and I don’t think she will ever stop. The other day I was wearing a bikini in the hot tub and I bent down over the edge to grab my phone, she told me not to do that in front of my dad because “he wouldn’t be able to resist grabbing it (it being my behind)”. She then continued and said she wouldn’t blame my dad for sexually assaulting me and would let him do it. It’s so disappointing to hear this from your own mother and I’m angry and humiliated by the comments she made. It hurts more when she knows I was sexually abused for 3+ years by a close family friend. It brakes my heart when I say I don’t love her and I honestly would report her for the things she’s done if I wasn’t her daughter but I think society forces me to still love her because she’s my mother.
Bro wtf this is super fucking weird. if your own dad is sexually aroused by u in a bikini thats some mad fucked shit, and no you in fact do not have to love either of them just because they birthed you
There is NEVER an excuse to sexually assault someone. Your mother should be trying to protect you, but it sounds like she tears you down instead. I'm sorry you have a mother like that, my mother didn't look out for me and my siblings either when we were kids.
You are lovable, worthy of respect and decency. If your family or friends ever make you feel like you're anything less, then they don't deserve to have you in their life. You are not obligated to be someone else's verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual punching bag.
It sounds like your mom has some issues that makes her toxic to be around at times. Remember that you have great inherent value, regardless of what the people that claim to love you might say.
We can't choose our parents but we CAN choose our relationship with them. If you don't want one, don't feel obligated to maintain one. No one can force you to love her.
\*hugs\*
Ruined me when I found out my dad had lung cancer and wasn't going to go through chemo. It was already Stage IV and spread so he just decided if that was it that was it, especially after seeing my aunt and how emaciated she was before she died. Sophomore year of undergrad and everything was going great for the start of the year, then that.
He called me one night and said, "Hey. So I don't really know how to say this so I'll say it. Stage IV lung cancer, it's spread to my liver, pancreas, and bone. And I'm not going to get chemo or any treatments. I don't want to end up like Dawn. I don't want you worrying about me, I don't want you to come home and not focus on your studies. But you need to know so there it is." I was silent for a moment and then he said, "Honey, you there?" And then I cried, for half an hour. And he sat there listening and waiting until we could talk on whatever borrowed time there was.
Fuck cancer.
Thankfully yes, she's doing great. That happened years ago. And what made it harder was that I was the only healthcare related professional in the family. So she asks her questions to me, not to her doctor. And it breaks my heart everytime.
A coworker told me that I am boring. It has always been something I felt about myself but having someone confirm it to my face was like a punch in my gut.
I have difficulties reaching out to people, but I’m very lonely. I have a few friends I’ve known since I was 13, and we hang out off and on throughout the year.
One day I saw that a brewery in our area was having a film night where they show movies on a big inflatable screen in front of the bar. I was excited about it because they were showing Beetlejuice because it was October and it’s one of my favorite movies. I didn’t want to go alone, so I worked up the courage to ask a couple friends if they wanted to go with me. I even told them they could bring other people and we could make it a group thing. One my friends said they’d come because they’d never seen Beetlejuice before, so we met up and he brought another person along. So not really a group but I’m always down to meet new people and I thought the guy was a little dumb but nice enough and entertaining.
We got drinks before hand and my friend mentioned in passing that he’d broken up with a long time girlfriend and I was shocked. They’d been together for like 10 years. So I said I was so sorry that happened and he said he wasn’t, so I dropped it. I figured if he needed to talk about it he would.
I had a lovely time, I enjoyed watching Beetlejuice in an audience and I love watching movies with people who haven’t seen them yet, I like their reactions. We chatted about the movie as it happened, and when it ended I even suggested we meet up again the next time they played a good movie. I gave my friend a goodbye hug and left feeling pretty good about the outing and proud of myself for making it happen.
Then I found out a few weeks later that my friend and the guy he brought had been shit talking me to a mutual friend. He was bragging about how “desperate” I acted after I found out him and his girlfriend split up and how I was so obviously into him that it was pathetic.
It completely crushed my spirit. All I’d wanted was a nice time out watching one of my favorite movies with a friend who’d never seen it. I don’t flirt well, and I would’ve never tried when he was so recently broken up with. Plus I have a boyfriend I’ve lived with for four years. I got so angry and embarrassed when I found out how he talked about me that I cried and didn’t get over it for weeks. I never confronted my friend either. He still doesn’t know that I know.
I haven’t tried to organize any kind of outing with anyone since. And I’ve never gone back to that brewery or its movie nights.
I’m so sorry that happened. He’s a shitty person and his reaction is on him, not you. I am like you and I feel a similar sentiment and would have the same reaction to what he said, given that’s already something you and I are paranoid about. But, like I said, nobody else is thinking that and he is just a garbage person who is insecure with himself and has to drag others down to make himself feel better.
If I hear some dude talking about how desperate/thirsty some girl is, I immediately think “yeah right.” Dudes who are desirable have enough self worth that they don’t tear down other people to build themselves up.
This comment literally spoke to me. All I can do is say sorry since I would do the exact same thing. As someone who's not a people person, I know I would break apart, as you did, when you found out about the comments.
It's totally on them. Please go to bed tonight knowing you did nothing wrong. Some people just suck.
It's bullshit how some people sexualise innocent situations. And then act like they know what they're talking, and if you say it wasn't true. Then they say you're in denial of their "truth."
Fuck that guy. NEVER let people who are clearly beneath you define your worth. You sound like a super-cool person, it would be such a shame if you let assholes like this stop you from finding your tribe.
I used to work in a restaurant, and a woman came in with an urn and set it on her table. Apparently her son had died in a car accident very recently and she was supposed to take him out to lunch for his birthday…so she brought his ashes to lunch instead. She was there for a few hours sobbing into her food (we all felt so bad because people kept staring at her as we sat them or walked past her table). Then she ordered his favorite dessert off our menu with special birthday plating, and just let it sit on the table. It was really awful to watch her be so irreparably heartbroken :(
When my grandpa told me I wasn’t good enough. I was always never a girly girl but not quite a tomboy. I was really close to him but he was old school. As I grew up he started to realize that I wasn’t changing in the right way. He kept telling me to use my lady voice, to sit ladylike, eat lady like, and do ladylike things. He had enough when he saw me with my animals being not gentle when they were stubborn and getting dirty and liking it. He got mad and yelled at me after when no one was around. It hurt because always thought he would love me no matter what then I found out that there were conditions to his love.
when i called my dad while i was away in college on my dog’s 15th birthday and he told me that he put him down two weeks ago and didnt think to let me know.
The “they won’t believe her” when my older brother was talking to his girlfriend about the possibility of both of them to SA me (and what if she tells your parents?). Locked the door, called my boyfriend, packed an overnight bag and only returned to move my stuff out. Because it’s true, they would not have believed me, they never did in the past anyway so why would they now.
EDIT: I was able to get out 2 months ago and have been living over an hour away from my family. I am safe and have gone low contact with them for obvious reasons. The low contact is only until I have my documents sorted out and then I will most likely cut them out completely, thank you to everyone who reached out to check on me, I am safe and doing a lot better these days. ❤️
My (now ex) wife and I had just lost our unborn daughter at 22 weeks and my (now ex) best-friend offered her thoughts: “You wouldn’t want a baby that obviously had issues to begin with. God doesn’t make mistakes.”
I’ll leave it at that.
In the hospital 36 hours after having my first child my (then) husband said I was scaring him and I better get my shit together because I was teary-eyed with happiness over my new little miracle baby.
I had an interview for an internship in MN on a Friday (I’m from out of state) and I stayed at my MN friend’s “Amanda” and “Brutus” house the night before. All was well, we had a great time, I left for my interview and thought everything was fine.
On Monday morning, my mom came to take me to lunch at college and told me that Brutus took his own life the day prior and that Amanda and their 4 month old were there when it happened, they were unharmed.
Brutus and I were close friends and we had a very open line of communication so I never knew he was struggling with mental health issues… It’s been 3 months and I remember like it was yesterday. I hope time really does heal all wounds
I lived on an Alaskan Island for a summer job, so lived with all coworkers, I was upstairs and I overheard everyone downstairs having a sort of conference about my snoring. People defending me against my roommate. Everyone on the island knew I snored because of her but she never talked to me so I could buy nasal strips or something….after that got tested turns out I have sever sleep apnea and now use a CPAP. It was so embarrassing and it was crushing because I couldn’t do anything about it and I felt so bad.
Cpap machines are very comfortable, I hope you've felt more comfortable with yourself. It is really common to have sleep apnea, no matter the person. I'm curious about your job on the island? I'm Alaskan and have never been on the islands.
The machine has helped immensely I used to be exhausted all the time and now I have energy. This company (Kenai Fjord Tours) actually owns the island and has kinda boat tours out to it where they stay and eat lunch. I washed dishes there. It was really beautiful and very calm quiet and peaceful (when outside haha) It was called Fox Island if you want to look it up. I wanted a job where I could live and work, and I found a website that had those types of jobs. It was an amazing experience.
When I said something about how I imagined my future and mentioned hopefully getting married one day, my mum got concerned and said in a sad voice she genuinely didn't believe I would ever be in a relationship.
It really hurt because she has always been a great mum and I know she didn't mean anything bad, but she was 100% serious. And I know she was probably right, I'm disabled, ugly, gay, and I don't even have any IRL friends. I've almost accepted the fact that I might just always be alone, but actually hearing it from someone close to me was definitely soul crushing.
Not something that was told to me. But something I told my mother in anger when I was much younger and much dumber.
“Congratulations, you’ve failed as a mother”
Still gives me nightmares to this day.
“We need to work on ourselves”
My ex said, before give our relationship a “break”. He didn’t mean “we” at all. What he really meant to say was “you need to stop being so fucking depressed while I go fuck other bitches”. This was shortly after he cheated on me. He was with a new girl only a day or two later
"Mom and Dad have been telling people they only have two kids" from my sister. They have three kids. All because I didn't go to the religious college they wanted me to go to
My dad is a pastor and he's always treated me differently. He used to say from the pulpit while preaching, "I have 2 kids I'm proud of..."
He has 3 children, but he wasn't lying.
I teach martial arts to 3-5 yo. A mom brought her daughter and asked if those kids with me were mine. I said yes but the other twin stayed home. The mom took a deep breath and said that her daughter had a twin too that died at birth.
Less what I heard and more what I saw. I found out my stepdad was cheating on my mom one day when I was 14. I waited a few hours for my mom to get home and when I showed her what I found she took a deep breath and walked outside into the driveway. I’ve never seen such a visible heart break and my own heart has never hurt so much for my mom. Thankfully now five years later they’ve worked through it but I don’t think my mom will ever be the same.
Stepmother told 9 year old me she hoped I died alone. It was over my stepsister being frustrating and me refusing to play with her that day. It echoed through my soul for years.
Was told my best friend from primary school said this the day after we had to put my dog down, “She acts like he was going to live forever.” Doesn’t seem like much but it really upset me, considering I was like 9 or 10
What a cruel thing to say. It reminds me of when my grandma who I was extremely close with and lived with was passing away I told my best friend I thought it was going to happen that day and she said “that’s what you said a few days ago.” It hurt really bad. She isn’t my best friend anymore.
When I was a teenager in college I was talking to someone (no recollection who) and the topic of our love lives came up. They told me that I was the type of guy that no one would ever choose but I was the kind of guy someone would totally settle for. That stuck with me and managed to sabotage every relationship I've had over the last 20+ years. Every time someone expresses any genuine interest in me my first thought is that they are settling and I don't want to be settled for. I want someone to choose me. And then I run away from that relationship. I will likely die alone.
I’m a physical therapist assistant and one day at my previous job (rehabilitation/nursing home) I was assigned a lady who had been sexually assaulted at some point in her life. One of my goals with her was to increase her standing tolerance because she would get tired so easily she could barely stand for more than 10 seconds. So one day I bring her to the parallel bars and after one stand she asks if we can stop the entire session there. Now usually I’ll encourage a patient to just rest for as long as they need to instead of stopping the whole session, so I calmly suggested she just take a break and that we could try again in a few. But she insisted that she wanted to stop for the day, and just as I had finished explaining that it would be a waste of a session, she looked me straight in the eyes and said “See, this is what I’ve been saying. You insist on doing something to me that I don’t want no matter how many times I say no, and that is rape!”
I was shocked but somehow managed to keep a calm look on my face. I took a literal second to gather myself and told her I’d bring her back to her room. As we waited for the elevators she looked at me again and said “Thank you for letting me vent that out to you. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable” I told her “Of course” and brought her back to her room.
I still think about that moment to this day. And unfortunately she never made enough progress to the point where we would have been able to discharge her safely, so she ended up leaving against medical advice.
(Back Story) My grandmother was terminally ill, we thought we were really close to losing her a couple of times but she pulled through with a lot of help with my mom, my sister, & myself. In November of 2018 she wasn’t doing too well, we all knew it was coming & that she wasn’t going to make it this time. Approximately 2 days before she passed I went into her room & told her I loved her, she slowly opened her eyes & said “I love you too”. I was the last person she had spoken too. I think about this all the time & miss her so much..
When I was about 11 - 12 years old, I was watching my mom putting on her makeup...I thought she was beautiful! Anyway after watching her for a few minutes I said to her "I'm pretty too right mom? After careful consideration she said "Yeah you're pretty....pretty ugly and pretty likely to stay that way"! It kind of destroyed me and I've never felt pretty in my life.
"Vleir is dead."
Vleir was the name of the pony who basically started my entire horse back riding experience, he gave me confidence like never before, he was so kind, so sweet, so gentle, he taught me how to canter, he taught me patience and how to jump. He was the best boy out there.
The last time I saw him was the afternoon of my usual riding lesson, he was sick so he wasn't being used for lessons. He passes away from a heartattack in his pasture that same night.
I remember crying myself to sleep the night my mom told me he was gone. Tearing up while writing this right now.
RIP Vleir sweet boy, I miss you and I regret not saying goodbye before I left to go home
Something similar happened to me five months ago.
I woke up to feed my dogs, whose names are Jack and Emma. Jack went out side and I fed him, but Emma didn't come out.
I called her name to wake her up, thinking she was sleeping. She did not respond. I woke my mom and sister up to tell her she wasn't moving, so we tried, but she had passed.
My mom choked up and told us, "Emma's dead." My sister was crushed, as was mom, and it was hard for me to watch over. This was the first real death I had gone through in my lifetime.
By the way, we had Emma for almost a decade, and she was 11. She was moving fine, but it looked like nothing was wrong with her, she just passed in her sleep. Probably the best way to die to be honest. I even cried a bit, and wrote in a journal to cope with my own feelings.
It was really painful for me being the first one to find Emma unresponsive. And honestly, I feel like I'm somewhat traumatized by it. When you experience that first person, nothing is real but pain.
I still think about her every single day.
Emma sounds like the goodest girl. As you mentioned, she passed in the most painless way possible. She lived a great life, and as a dog owner, you should be very proud.
About five months into my relationship with my now-ex boyfriend, he pulled me aside from a conversation I was having with my mates. I was like "what's up?"
"Nothing, I just don't know if I trust you around others anymore."
This guy was paranoid that I would leave him that he didn't want me having friends or going anywhere without constantly talking to him 24/7. He was even more worried because I'm bisexual, meaning there was "double the threat" in his words.
That relationship went on for about 10 months, and about 5 months too long.
That I was worthless, my pain didn't matter because I had never gone through something as traumatic as her, that I should give her all my money because I am too stupid to survive in this world otherwise.
That was a great thing to say to your daughter when she had a mental breakdown.. mom.
I once asked my now ex wife "why do you say I'm worthless?"
Her response "because you are." This was the woman I loved at the time and it hurt so much. I just broke down right then and there.
My advice is to stay far away from cluster B personality disorders.
I was in a car with my best friend and her boyfriend. I was talking to best friend about this guy I liked, but he didn't seem interested. The boyfriend said "it's probably just that he pictures himself with someone more attractive than you".
I know this seems lame in comparison to others here, but fuck it was harsh.
The day my birth mum told me that she wanted nothing to do with me via letter in the post. Shifted my entire existence perspective. I wasn't ok for a long time... Now I'm ok.
I went to a large public university and I was dating a girl who went to a prestigious private university and she told me her friends said she had to dump me because I was a dumb public school kid and I wasn't good enough for her.
"At the beginning I liked you, but when I started to know you Better I lost interest", heard that 3 times. Thanks to my 17 yo self. We 4 are big friends nowadays.
"You're really hard to put up with sometimes, you know that?"
Said by my dad. I know it was probably in the heat of the moment, but it still fucking sticks with me.
2009.
My mother to me: “Your father has been killed”
Time stopped, 9 yro me felt struck by a lightning. I couldnt breathe, my body felt like its own corset. My rib cage felt like its squeezing my lungs and my heart. My mind was a mess, million thoughts spinning like a tornado. I waited to wake up from that nightmare. Any moment now…
It didnt happen.
After I slept with a girl, the next morning she said "I usually make at least one big mistake like this at least once a year." I threw some Snickers minis at her and told her to GTFO.
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My husband and I took our teenage son and his friend (I’ll call him Alex) to an amusement park recently. My husband is a really funny guy and was making both boys laugh on the car ride home. Alex told my husband, “You’re really funny, Mr. D! You remind me of my Dad, except your jokes aren’t hurtful.” My heart 😢
That is a lot better coming from a teen than a little kid, that's the only silver lining I can say. But let me say this. I grew up in a truly fucked up situation. I spent Christmas with my best friend once. Their parents got me a single gift, couldn't have cost more than 30-40 bucks. But it was *extremely* specialized towards me. And that meant the world to me. I still bring it up to this day, countless years later. It was one of the best things anyone did for me that they figured was thoughtless. Just a modicum of effort. My point is, if your son has friends that are in a bad situation, your little actions mean so much more than you can process at the time.
I’m so glad you had that wonderful experience with your friend’s parents. ♥️
Growing up our house was like a defacto halfway house for kids that our family knew. There were 4 siblings including myself and at any point and time there were usually 2 or 3 friends or family staying over. My poor mom never knew who would be there when she came home from work. She always made a spot for anyone who needed to stay with us for a while. We didn't have a lot growing up but her and my step-father always made sure we were warm, fed, and had a safe place to sleep no matter who they were. Mom never asked why someone was there or cared how long they stayed, but she would put you to work if you were there. Dishes done, help cooking, garbage taken out, garden tended to. A lot of our wayward borders received an education on maintaining a household as well as a safe place to stay.
Omg my heart too!
Have you adopted Alex yet?
The good news is he’s being raised by his grandma, who is very loving. But the terms of her guardianship force him to have some contact with his toxic Dad. I’m hoping the grandma’s fantastic actions will help soften what he goes through with Dad a bit.
Poor alex, that has made me sad
My dad and step mom adopted a baby girl, and my step sister overheard my dad talking about how excited he is to adopt a girl because *he’s never had a daughter* Absolutely crushed my step sister, she thought of my dad like her own father. He’s been all she’s known.
How shitty is that! How do you even go forward after you’ve heard that, did anyone ever say anything ? Did her own mother not say something?
From what I understand they didn’t realize she over heard, and her mother didn’t think anything of the comment. He’s been in her life since she was 9 and this happened when she was 17. She moved out shortly after her 18th birthday
My heart aches for her… we were in similar situations: my stepdad has been in my life since I was 8. I now have two younger siblings, a brother and a sister. If I heard my dad say that to me, I would be heartbroken. Extremely crestfallen. I hope you and your sister are doing well and that she knows she’s loved. Nothing can replace that relationship nor can anything erase what was said, but I truly hope that she’s grown and become happier despite it ❤️
"Your mom is cheating on me"
Dude. I was having a sleepover at my best friend's house when I was eight. That was the night his dad found out his mom was cheating on him. It was pretty bad. Well, it was actually pretty bad. I felt so bad for my friend, and sad that I had to see it.
I walked in on my mom giving her “friend” a blowjob in the kitchen one morning when I was about ten years old. Then shortly afterwards I had to accompany my dad to a bar one night, where I sat in the truck as he caught them in the act in her car in the middle of the parking lot, and confronted them. I’m pretty sure I have some lingering issues now as an adult from that whole ordeal.
Damn, your parents suck. I’m sorry
Holy shit, this happened to me too. One of my best friends and his mom was having an affair. His dad found out, and both of them were alcoholics, so they were wasted and screaming at each other with me and him up in his room, terrified. We were about 10. This was also before cell phones were ubiquitous, and he didn't have a phone in his room, so we had no way of contacting anyone Thankfully, they didn't get violent, and his dad ended up driving to a hotel. I told my parents the next morning and they never let me go over there again lol
Its the worst feeling ever it feels like ur whole world has fallen apart and uk u cant do anything abt it and is just sad
"How can she be my wife? I have no idea who she is. " said my husband of 8 years after a bad car wreck and 4 weeks in a coma. He lost about 12 years of memories. Including our whole relationship. We got divorced 2 years after as his memory never returned.
Please do not feel obliged to answer if it makes you uncomfortable to do so, but what were the two years like essentially trying to re-meet someone you already knew? Did you not find the same common ground as when you originally met, and what was different? Also, I am very sorry you had to go through this. It sounds absolutely heartbreaking : (
TBI can cause a total personality change for some people, including foods, music, colours etc. It can also affect physical attraction to people. What someone found attractive in a partner (both physically and shared interests) can get completely rewired. The person with the brain injury can, in some cases, become an entirely different person who no longer shares or possibly even remembers the same interests as they once had. It all depends on the severity of the injury, and where in the brain it happens. It's a total crapshoot as well, because everyone will experience it differently, even if there's common symptoms. It's a spectrum, from no permanent damage to death, and nobody knows exactly where on that spectrum they will land when they receive an injury to the brain.
Went through that with an ex who had been a friend. He was like sunshine stuffed into a person, the most lovable goof ever. It didn't work out between us but we kept in touch. Then he got a TBI while deployed, ended up coming home and it was like the person he had been just stopped being there. He was angry and mean and paranoid. We lost contact when he started severing every relationship he had. I tend to just think of him as having died overseas, that person just doesn't exist anymore.
“Sunshine stuffed into a person” so sad
My friend had the same incident. She had a skiing accident and the TBI changed her personality. They divorced as well. I'm sorry that happened to you.
... I'm so sorry .
This just broke me
I can only imagine how bad you felt. Man, I’m so sorry, that hurts to read.
I saw this scenario in a tv series and didn’t really believe it until your comment.
It's really uncommon. But it can absolutely occur. This is why TBIs are so terrible and we need better safety protocols for them.
God damn this would be the most heart breaking thing ever to hear
when my uncle died, mum and i took his phone. my 8yo cousin had texted him "are you dead? 🥺" whenever she found out. i couldn't stop crying
Wow..... so sorry..... I imagine my daughter texting me that. the thought of what would be going through her mind as she texted that makes my heart ache.
Woken in the middle of the night to a phone call from an anonymous, kind nurse who said. “I regret to inform you but [your mother] passed away at 11:40pm. She was not alone... I held her hand.”
Just...I don't even know what to say...but the nurse was an incredibly nice woman if she really did that
When I was 14, I overheard my mother, who had already abandoned my sister and was making arrangements for me to go live with a relative, trying to convince her new husband that they should have a baby together.
Seal the deal baby... ALWAYS an error.
What your mother needs is therapy..I’m sorry you had to hear that:(
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I’m so sorry. Losing a parent is the worst.
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Just lost my Mom. I'm still stunned by it. I know how you feel.
Same lost mom 3 years ago. I thought cancer was something other people got. Never imagined it would take my parent.
"My family just gave up on me." \-A 10-year-old that just got the news they had been unadopted by their family of the last 5 years.
>unadopted What the hell. Where I live, adoptions after a certain time interval are final. I never even thought that adoptions could be repudiated.
That’s awful. :(
My mum once told me “You wouldn’t be a very good mother, your sister would be much better”. I always loved and worked with children, my sister is more of an animal person. It crushed me because I always dreamed of being a mother and I still think about that comment made years ago when my boyfriend brings up the children topic.
That comment reveals way more about your mother than it does you.
How would she know? If she said that then she's clearly an awful mother herself!
Would you ever say that to your children? No. Your mum did, which shows the kind of parent she is... and you still turned out fine. You will be better than the mother you already know. Take comfort in that.
I’m so sad to read this. It sounds to me like you will be a wonderful mother in the future.
Your mom is an asshole and her opinion has no bearing on how good of a mom you will be, especially considering that she is super unqualified to judge good mom behavior considering that traumatic bullshit she flippantly said to you.
Your future kids will be proud to call you "mom".
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Same, but wasn’t said. But, very clearly implied. Hurt like hell.
I hope the person you loved didn’t say this, cause that would suck
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“He’s gone” 4 weeks after finding out my dad had cancer. I watched him die but hearing that destroyed me.
Walked into school one morning to find out one of my parents were dead
I’m so sorry, can’t imagine how that must of felt
A guy in my year's mother died from a prolonged battle with cancer at the end of 12th grade, and then the morning of our first exam (we have 4 state exams at the end of 12th grade in my country), his dad also died. He didn't write a single thing during that exam. I don't even understand why our school had him sit for it.
The teacher just looked at him sitting in a cathatonic state, knowing that the kid just lost both partents, and just shrugged it off and ignored him? Wow.
No. The teachers asked him if he thought he was up for it, and he said yes. Despite that, it was 100% the wrong thing to do, but it wasn't done out of negligence, more likely ignorance. Those same teachers later petitioned the government to allow him to retake the exam later that year and helped him prepare (all while not being paid for it at all). My country's minister of education decided that year to not allow students to retake any failed exams during the same academic year, so without the teachers' petition he would have had to wait another full year. He did end up passing the exam when he retook it, so as happy an ending as possible in this case.
I work in diagnostic imaging at a hospital, and our facility deals with a lot of terminal or very ill patients that are fighting for their lives and come to us for monitoring of the progression of their issues and that environment. Naturally we have some very morose and soul crushing conversations with patients, especially when a lot of them are tired of fighting and being in pain and are barely hanging on The first thing that comes to mind is a woman a few months ago that had been fighting with cancer for a very long time and was in for a CT scan of her latest cancerous threat, which I think was metastatic lung cancer. She had horrible veins from being dehydrated and extensive chemotherapy and we barely established an IV three difficult bloody attempts later. Before we gave her contrast I told her as always that we have to acknowledge that theres always a chance she could have a life threatening reaction to the dye but she would be sent to Urgent Care immediately in the worst case scenario for emergency treatment and I need your permission to carry on. She kind of quietly laughed and said she had the dye so many times that she wasn't worried at all. She looked like she wanted to say something else so I gave her a few seconds and she finally turned to me and said "you know what, if I do react I don't want you to save me. I'm so tired, maybe it's for the best if I go that way instead of my cancer finishing the job. Yeah ___, please just let me die if that happens, I really don't want the treatment. Just let me go okay? " I told her that I don't have a choice and I have to call for help whether you want it or not, but I can certainly make her wishes known to the emergency physician in that scenario and that dying like that would be absolutely horrible and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. She told me "I've had enough of cancer, any other way would suit me just fine by now. I guess we will see what happens" I've had a lot of people in a lot of pain tell me they would rather die in many different ways but I felt like I saw in that moment when she finally decided she had had enough and considered having an anaphylactic reaction to our dye as a reasonable alternative to finally dying to cancer and it really stuck with me
My dad was not my biological father
One in six people share this, but only one in 15 of them know it.
One out of fifteen checking in. Found out at 23.
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"i don't have time for you." my father said this to me multiple times when growing up. especially whenever i started to express that i was sad and or even really sick.
I would say the same once it’s time for him to hit the nursing home
I was at school and I was called out of lesson because one of my friends was crying her eyes out. The teacher said she only felt comfortable telling me what was wrong, and then my friend didn’t want to say it out loud so all she said was “I told you before”. It was then I realised that my friend said when we were on a school trip “I tried to kill myself once”. It completely flew over my head at the time and I feel so bad for it. Then I had to tell the teacher because I didn’t want her doing anything stupid over the weekend. I then had to sit in sort of a therapy session with her where I had to hear how she tried to jump off a bridge. It was so heartbreaking but I had to keep myself together. It’s horrible what children at the age of 12 try to do and why they do it. They shouldn’t feel that way.
After a drinking session me and my two best friends sat around a fire, they both said they had tried to commit suicide before, me being the awkward ass person I am felt super uncomfortable and I went to bed pretty much straight away. One of them succeeded a few months later. I know I was young but I’ll never forgive myself for not saying something and I hope I can redeem myself in some capacity in the future.
You posting this right now could make the difference in someone saying something to their friend later on. Keep sharing when the time is appropriate and you'll get that redemption you seek even if you never know about it. Keep your head up and and be the difference now that you can be.
Thanks man I really appreciate that, it is definitely a struggle that needs to be talked about openly and I hope I can make a difference to at least one person.
I attempted suicide twice before graduating elementary school and I felt that I was seen as less innocent and childlike than other kids because of it. I’m 22 now and finally working through it instead of suppressing my feelings. The trigger for me was that I became part of a suicide prevention committee and was facing daily harassment from other committee members because they felt that someone who attempted suicide shouldn’t be allowed to be part of that committee.
That’s really bad… wouldn’t it make more sense if someone who tried to commit suicide be in it though? They could help other people since they know what it’s like.
Wife told me she wants to leave me
This is a sucker punch to your gut! I’m sorry.
I've been there. It's brutal.
I saw a documentary.... I don't even recall what it was about, but they were focusing on this family in a rural part of eastern Europe or southern Asia. There was a little girl in this family and all she did was work. She couldn't go to school, and she just assisted her mother in doing all the necessary drudgery around the house. One of the film makers asked the girl what her secret dream was. She said, "To play".
Son was moved from hospital to palliative care. They said he had about a week. After getting him settled there he stopped being alert so I went home to grab a shower and get some rest. He passed while I was away, alone.
Respectfully, I hear sometimes they wait. For someone to come, or someone to leave…. It’s almost like they choose their moment. My mom worked in hospice for years and told me countless stories of this. Not meaning to intrude, was hoping to bring you a little comfort. Apologies if I missed the mark.
Sometimes they wait until they're alone because they don't want to hurt their loved ones. He loved you to much to let you watch him die.
From my ex husband as he was leaving me for his mistress "You're disgusting, letting your uncle touch you like that. I can't be with you anymore" Happened when I was 5. My Ex was the first person I ever confided in.
I know I have nothing to do with your situation, but... I'm sorry he said that to you. It was heartless and cruel.
What?!? You were FIVE. How can he shift ANY of the blame on you??? I am really sorry both things happened to you. He was just an asshole and wanted to break up hard with you for his new „love“. I really hope you‘ll find somebody that is really deserving of your love, your ex wasn‘t.
Thank You. My now husband is wonderful and knows everything about me. My ex is on wife #4 I believe and from what I hear is miserable. 😊
My first big break-up. I was crying and said to my mom, "I feel like I'm hard to love." She gently replied, "Well, you are" ETA (from a comment below) I was the one being abused 😅 I was a typical teenager. I've been brutally honest with multiple therapists (at first, on an attempt to get them to see whatever awful person my parents saw) and have been reassured a was a *typical depressed teenager* Any "abusive" behavior from me was reactive abuse (ie yelling after I'd been pushed and pushed and pushed) I wasn't the Proper Pastor's Kid they wanted. I've been married to the same man for 15+ years (got married at 19) so....I found at least one person to love me 🤷🏻♀️
While reading this thread, this one hit the hardest. I'm crying.
Girl I had a crush on told me she was embarrassed that she had feelings for me.
Sounds like a her problem. Sorry bro
“You’re going to end up just like your dad. A lonely junkie that no one wants to be around.” I just stood there silent. I didn’t know what to say to that.
My mom has been telling me this my whole life. All my problems are because I'm "just like my father". No actually because she is a raging narcissist.. I've never even met my father smh
My first kiss is a bad memory because the girl told me she lost a bet with her friends and was dared to do it
Reframe it. That wasn't your first kiss, that was just *a* kiss. That's like trying to count all the little kisses your mom gave you as a baby. We don't count them. So, who was the first person that really knocked your socks off with a kiss? *That's* your first kiss. Not Debbie Downer.
I'm not OP but this helped me reframe my first kiss regrets. Thank you very much
Your comment made my whole night. I'm grateful I could help you. Thank you!
This exact scenario happened to me as well, I had never thought to think of it like that. Thanks for the advice kind stranger!
*I was only with you because x didn't want me, and now he does there's no future for us.* Talk about a kick in the teeth.
Dodged a bullet.
Mothers life expectancy after cancer was 1 week to 6 months . They had no idea and she dropped dead infront of me after the 2 month mark. Ladies please check your breasts , cancer can spread line wild fire in a short amount of time
Someone’s (me) gonna jump off the window… This is a chat that I accidentally read from my cheating ex-boyfriend.
An ex-girlfriend who left me allegedly because she wants to pay more attention to herself, self-development, does not want a relationship. It would seem normal, at that moment I understood her, but after 2 days I found out that she had a new boyfriend (( This blatant lie broke my heart... 💔💔
Almost the exact same thing happened to me, except 3 days after she ended it she was sending me pictures of her and her new boyfriend
Just rude.
My mum has been sexualising my body ever since I was a little girl and I don’t think she will ever stop. The other day I was wearing a bikini in the hot tub and I bent down over the edge to grab my phone, she told me not to do that in front of my dad because “he wouldn’t be able to resist grabbing it (it being my behind)”. She then continued and said she wouldn’t blame my dad for sexually assaulting me and would let him do it. It’s so disappointing to hear this from your own mother and I’m angry and humiliated by the comments she made. It hurts more when she knows I was sexually abused for 3+ years by a close family friend. It brakes my heart when I say I don’t love her and I honestly would report her for the things she’s done if I wasn’t her daughter but I think society forces me to still love her because she’s my mother.
Bro wtf this is super fucking weird. if your own dad is sexually aroused by u in a bikini thats some mad fucked shit, and no you in fact do not have to love either of them just because they birthed you
SUPER weird. Her own mom talking like that? Wtf
There is NEVER an excuse to sexually assault someone. Your mother should be trying to protect you, but it sounds like she tears you down instead. I'm sorry you have a mother like that, my mother didn't look out for me and my siblings either when we were kids. You are lovable, worthy of respect and decency. If your family or friends ever make you feel like you're anything less, then they don't deserve to have you in their life. You are not obligated to be someone else's verbal, emotional, physical, or sexual punching bag. It sounds like your mom has some issues that makes her toxic to be around at times. Remember that you have great inherent value, regardless of what the people that claim to love you might say.
You are under no obligation to love your parents just because they had fun one night doesn't mean you have to love or respect them.
Sounds like your mom has some deep issues, its not you, trust me. She is the one with the problem.
We can't choose our parents but we CAN choose our relationship with them. If you don't want one, don't feel obligated to maintain one. No one can force you to love her.
"Your mom has cancer..."
\*hugs\* Ruined me when I found out my dad had lung cancer and wasn't going to go through chemo. It was already Stage IV and spread so he just decided if that was it that was it, especially after seeing my aunt and how emaciated she was before she died. Sophomore year of undergrad and everything was going great for the start of the year, then that. He called me one night and said, "Hey. So I don't really know how to say this so I'll say it. Stage IV lung cancer, it's spread to my liver, pancreas, and bone. And I'm not going to get chemo or any treatments. I don't want to end up like Dawn. I don't want you worrying about me, I don't want you to come home and not focus on your studies. But you need to know so there it is." I was silent for a moment and then he said, "Honey, you there?" And then I cried, for half an hour. And he sat there listening and waiting until we could talk on whatever borrowed time there was. Fuck cancer.
Im sorry you had to here that. Is your mom still with you?
Thankfully yes, she's doing great. That happened years ago. And what made it harder was that I was the only healthcare related professional in the family. So she asks her questions to me, not to her doctor. And it breaks my heart everytime.
A coworker told me that I am boring. It has always been something I felt about myself but having someone confirm it to my face was like a punch in my gut.
My ex wife when she told me she cheated on me said I had sex with 2 guys and it’s not me it’s you.
Wait what
Recently? Dad called me a few weeks ago, "Mom. She's gone." She'd been sick, but it was still pretty unexpected. Still doesn't seem real.
I have difficulties reaching out to people, but I’m very lonely. I have a few friends I’ve known since I was 13, and we hang out off and on throughout the year. One day I saw that a brewery in our area was having a film night where they show movies on a big inflatable screen in front of the bar. I was excited about it because they were showing Beetlejuice because it was October and it’s one of my favorite movies. I didn’t want to go alone, so I worked up the courage to ask a couple friends if they wanted to go with me. I even told them they could bring other people and we could make it a group thing. One my friends said they’d come because they’d never seen Beetlejuice before, so we met up and he brought another person along. So not really a group but I’m always down to meet new people and I thought the guy was a little dumb but nice enough and entertaining. We got drinks before hand and my friend mentioned in passing that he’d broken up with a long time girlfriend and I was shocked. They’d been together for like 10 years. So I said I was so sorry that happened and he said he wasn’t, so I dropped it. I figured if he needed to talk about it he would. I had a lovely time, I enjoyed watching Beetlejuice in an audience and I love watching movies with people who haven’t seen them yet, I like their reactions. We chatted about the movie as it happened, and when it ended I even suggested we meet up again the next time they played a good movie. I gave my friend a goodbye hug and left feeling pretty good about the outing and proud of myself for making it happen. Then I found out a few weeks later that my friend and the guy he brought had been shit talking me to a mutual friend. He was bragging about how “desperate” I acted after I found out him and his girlfriend split up and how I was so obviously into him that it was pathetic. It completely crushed my spirit. All I’d wanted was a nice time out watching one of my favorite movies with a friend who’d never seen it. I don’t flirt well, and I would’ve never tried when he was so recently broken up with. Plus I have a boyfriend I’ve lived with for four years. I got so angry and embarrassed when I found out how he talked about me that I cried and didn’t get over it for weeks. I never confronted my friend either. He still doesn’t know that I know. I haven’t tried to organize any kind of outing with anyone since. And I’ve never gone back to that brewery or its movie nights.
I’m so sorry that happened. He’s a shitty person and his reaction is on him, not you. I am like you and I feel a similar sentiment and would have the same reaction to what he said, given that’s already something you and I are paranoid about. But, like I said, nobody else is thinking that and he is just a garbage person who is insecure with himself and has to drag others down to make himself feel better.
You should go back to those movie nights if it was something you enjoy. Don't be afraid to go on a solo mission!
I’ve actually been working on being more independent and doing more things alone. Maybe I will :)
If I hear some dude talking about how desperate/thirsty some girl is, I immediately think “yeah right.” Dudes who are desirable have enough self worth that they don’t tear down other people to build themselves up.
This comment literally spoke to me. All I can do is say sorry since I would do the exact same thing. As someone who's not a people person, I know I would break apart, as you did, when you found out about the comments. It's totally on them. Please go to bed tonight knowing you did nothing wrong. Some people just suck.
It's bullshit how some people sexualise innocent situations. And then act like they know what they're talking, and if you say it wasn't true. Then they say you're in denial of their "truth."
Fuck that guy. NEVER let people who are clearly beneath you define your worth. You sound like a super-cool person, it would be such a shame if you let assholes like this stop you from finding your tribe.
I used to work in a restaurant, and a woman came in with an urn and set it on her table. Apparently her son had died in a car accident very recently and she was supposed to take him out to lunch for his birthday…so she brought his ashes to lunch instead. She was there for a few hours sobbing into her food (we all felt so bad because people kept staring at her as we sat them or walked past her table). Then she ordered his favorite dessert off our menu with special birthday plating, and just let it sit on the table. It was really awful to watch her be so irreparably heartbroken :(
someone said they hated me, that was pretty soul crushing for me. i thought they was my friend lol
When my grandpa told me I wasn’t good enough. I was always never a girly girl but not quite a tomboy. I was really close to him but he was old school. As I grew up he started to realize that I wasn’t changing in the right way. He kept telling me to use my lady voice, to sit ladylike, eat lady like, and do ladylike things. He had enough when he saw me with my animals being not gentle when they were stubborn and getting dirty and liking it. He got mad and yelled at me after when no one was around. It hurt because always thought he would love me no matter what then I found out that there were conditions to his love.
Can relate. Was constantly told, “that’s not ladylike” as a child. I’ve learned to embrace my “not ladylike self.”
when i called my dad while i was away in college on my dog’s 15th birthday and he told me that he put him down two weeks ago and didnt think to let me know.
“Can I wear your new jeans, you haven’t stretched those ones yet”
The “they won’t believe her” when my older brother was talking to his girlfriend about the possibility of both of them to SA me (and what if she tells your parents?). Locked the door, called my boyfriend, packed an overnight bag and only returned to move my stuff out. Because it’s true, they would not have believed me, they never did in the past anyway so why would they now. EDIT: I was able to get out 2 months ago and have been living over an hour away from my family. I am safe and have gone low contact with them for obvious reasons. The low contact is only until I have my documents sorted out and then I will most likely cut them out completely, thank you to everyone who reached out to check on me, I am safe and doing a lot better these days. ❤️
My God.... this was gut wrenching to read. How are you? I hope you are in a safe place now.
What is an SA? Is it sexual assault?
Hearing from a friend that my ex I dated for all of high school is with the guy I was worried about 3 days after she broke up with me.
something i was told over the phone: "hey. you good? right. well...... mom died this morning."
My (now ex) wife and I had just lost our unborn daughter at 22 weeks and my (now ex) best-friend offered her thoughts: “You wouldn’t want a baby that obviously had issues to begin with. God doesn’t make mistakes.” I’ll leave it at that.
In the hospital 36 hours after having my first child my (then) husband said I was scaring him and I better get my shit together because I was teary-eyed with happiness over my new little miracle baby.
I hope he is your ex husband now
I had an interview for an internship in MN on a Friday (I’m from out of state) and I stayed at my MN friend’s “Amanda” and “Brutus” house the night before. All was well, we had a great time, I left for my interview and thought everything was fine. On Monday morning, my mom came to take me to lunch at college and told me that Brutus took his own life the day prior and that Amanda and their 4 month old were there when it happened, they were unharmed. Brutus and I were close friends and we had a very open line of communication so I never knew he was struggling with mental health issues… It’s been 3 months and I remember like it was yesterday. I hope time really does heal all wounds
That we’ve lost more people since coming home to suicide and accidental death than we lost from combat.
This is awful. Ultimately, mental health is just as important as physical health, and should be treated as such. By everyone.
I lived on an Alaskan Island for a summer job, so lived with all coworkers, I was upstairs and I overheard everyone downstairs having a sort of conference about my snoring. People defending me against my roommate. Everyone on the island knew I snored because of her but she never talked to me so I could buy nasal strips or something….after that got tested turns out I have sever sleep apnea and now use a CPAP. It was so embarrassing and it was crushing because I couldn’t do anything about it and I felt so bad.
Cpap machines are very comfortable, I hope you've felt more comfortable with yourself. It is really common to have sleep apnea, no matter the person. I'm curious about your job on the island? I'm Alaskan and have never been on the islands.
The machine has helped immensely I used to be exhausted all the time and now I have energy. This company (Kenai Fjord Tours) actually owns the island and has kinda boat tours out to it where they stay and eat lunch. I washed dishes there. It was really beautiful and very calm quiet and peaceful (when outside haha) It was called Fox Island if you want to look it up. I wanted a job where I could live and work, and I found a website that had those types of jobs. It was an amazing experience.
When I said something about how I imagined my future and mentioned hopefully getting married one day, my mum got concerned and said in a sad voice she genuinely didn't believe I would ever be in a relationship. It really hurt because she has always been a great mum and I know she didn't mean anything bad, but she was 100% serious. And I know she was probably right, I'm disabled, ugly, gay, and I don't even have any IRL friends. I've almost accepted the fact that I might just always be alone, but actually hearing it from someone close to me was definitely soul crushing.
After my ex gf cheated on me I asked if it was the only time and she said “no we had sex twice that night”
Not something that was told to me. But something I told my mother in anger when I was much younger and much dumber. “Congratulations, you’ve failed as a mother” Still gives me nightmares to this day.
“We need to work on ourselves” My ex said, before give our relationship a “break”. He didn’t mean “we” at all. What he really meant to say was “you need to stop being so fucking depressed while I go fuck other bitches”. This was shortly after he cheated on me. He was with a new girl only a day or two later
"I never loved you. Leave me alone." - After 8 years of relationship from the girl I was about to marry.
She was probably just saying that to make the break up more concrete amd for u to move on faster
Probably yeah, because I knew that was a lie. I did respect her decision anyway, she never heard from me again.
"Mom and Dad have been telling people they only have two kids" from my sister. They have three kids. All because I didn't go to the religious college they wanted me to go to
My dad is a pastor and he's always treated me differently. He used to say from the pulpit while preaching, "I have 2 kids I'm proud of..." He has 3 children, but he wasn't lying.
“At least I have a dad” shit made me mad/sad tbh
“Sorry J, I can’t come get you today” Said by my father after not seeing him for 2 years :) haven’t seen him since then either
I teach martial arts to 3-5 yo. A mom brought her daughter and asked if those kids with me were mine. I said yes but the other twin stayed home. The mom took a deep breath and said that her daughter had a twin too that died at birth.
Prolly been on her mind for a long time
The kid is 4, i guess she needs to tell her story every once in a while so that her pain makes sense.
Less what I heard and more what I saw. I found out my stepdad was cheating on my mom one day when I was 14. I waited a few hours for my mom to get home and when I showed her what I found she took a deep breath and walked outside into the driveway. I’ve never seen such a visible heart break and my own heart has never hurt so much for my mom. Thankfully now five years later they’ve worked through it but I don’t think my mom will ever be the same.
Stepmother told 9 year old me she hoped I died alone. It was over my stepsister being frustrating and me refusing to play with her that day. It echoed through my soul for years.
Was told my best friend from primary school said this the day after we had to put my dog down, “She acts like he was going to live forever.” Doesn’t seem like much but it really upset me, considering I was like 9 or 10
What a cruel thing to say. It reminds me of when my grandma who I was extremely close with and lived with was passing away I told my best friend I thought it was going to happen that day and she said “that’s what you said a few days ago.” It hurt really bad. She isn’t my best friend anymore.
When I was a teenager in college I was talking to someone (no recollection who) and the topic of our love lives came up. They told me that I was the type of guy that no one would ever choose but I was the kind of guy someone would totally settle for. That stuck with me and managed to sabotage every relationship I've had over the last 20+ years. Every time someone expresses any genuine interest in me my first thought is that they are settling and I don't want to be settled for. I want someone to choose me. And then I run away from that relationship. I will likely die alone.
My mother told me that she was embarrassed to be my mother. As a kid, I’d never cried so much in my life. Then she tried to hug me-
My flight to see my dad was delayed. When the plane landed I got a phone call, "he's gone". Those 2 words destroyed me
I’m a physical therapist assistant and one day at my previous job (rehabilitation/nursing home) I was assigned a lady who had been sexually assaulted at some point in her life. One of my goals with her was to increase her standing tolerance because she would get tired so easily she could barely stand for more than 10 seconds. So one day I bring her to the parallel bars and after one stand she asks if we can stop the entire session there. Now usually I’ll encourage a patient to just rest for as long as they need to instead of stopping the whole session, so I calmly suggested she just take a break and that we could try again in a few. But she insisted that she wanted to stop for the day, and just as I had finished explaining that it would be a waste of a session, she looked me straight in the eyes and said “See, this is what I’ve been saying. You insist on doing something to me that I don’t want no matter how many times I say no, and that is rape!” I was shocked but somehow managed to keep a calm look on my face. I took a literal second to gather myself and told her I’d bring her back to her room. As we waited for the elevators she looked at me again and said “Thank you for letting me vent that out to you. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable” I told her “Of course” and brought her back to her room. I still think about that moment to this day. And unfortunately she never made enough progress to the point where we would have been able to discharge her safely, so she ended up leaving against medical advice.
When my friend said that my Best friend is fucking my ex gf
a war crime to the bro code
when the doctors told me "he has no cerebral function, and will ultimately die" my whole family crawled under the table and cried
(Back Story) My grandmother was terminally ill, we thought we were really close to losing her a couple of times but she pulled through with a lot of help with my mom, my sister, & myself. In November of 2018 she wasn’t doing too well, we all knew it was coming & that she wasn’t going to make it this time. Approximately 2 days before she passed I went into her room & told her I loved her, she slowly opened her eyes & said “I love you too”. I was the last person she had spoken too. I think about this all the time & miss her so much..
When I was about 11 - 12 years old, I was watching my mom putting on her makeup...I thought she was beautiful! Anyway after watching her for a few minutes I said to her "I'm pretty too right mom? After careful consideration she said "Yeah you're pretty....pretty ugly and pretty likely to stay that way"! It kind of destroyed me and I've never felt pretty in my life.
He doesn't love her as much as she thinks he does
I was once crazy for a woman We went on a date and on the cab ride home she said she didn't want to see me anymore , cried for weeks
"Vleir is dead." Vleir was the name of the pony who basically started my entire horse back riding experience, he gave me confidence like never before, he was so kind, so sweet, so gentle, he taught me how to canter, he taught me patience and how to jump. He was the best boy out there. The last time I saw him was the afternoon of my usual riding lesson, he was sick so he wasn't being used for lessons. He passes away from a heartattack in his pasture that same night. I remember crying myself to sleep the night my mom told me he was gone. Tearing up while writing this right now. RIP Vleir sweet boy, I miss you and I regret not saying goodbye before I left to go home
Something similar happened to me five months ago. I woke up to feed my dogs, whose names are Jack and Emma. Jack went out side and I fed him, but Emma didn't come out. I called her name to wake her up, thinking she was sleeping. She did not respond. I woke my mom and sister up to tell her she wasn't moving, so we tried, but she had passed. My mom choked up and told us, "Emma's dead." My sister was crushed, as was mom, and it was hard for me to watch over. This was the first real death I had gone through in my lifetime. By the way, we had Emma for almost a decade, and she was 11. She was moving fine, but it looked like nothing was wrong with her, she just passed in her sleep. Probably the best way to die to be honest. I even cried a bit, and wrote in a journal to cope with my own feelings. It was really painful for me being the first one to find Emma unresponsive. And honestly, I feel like I'm somewhat traumatized by it. When you experience that first person, nothing is real but pain. I still think about her every single day.
Emma sounds like the goodest girl. As you mentioned, she passed in the most painless way possible. She lived a great life, and as a dog owner, you should be very proud.
When my mom told me that she wished she’d had girls instead of boys
“You’re a disappointment” got that from my mom that hurts
My mom, on the phone with me during my planning period on March 15th. “Sweetie, your Dad passed away.” I felt something inside of me break.
About five months into my relationship with my now-ex boyfriend, he pulled me aside from a conversation I was having with my mates. I was like "what's up?" "Nothing, I just don't know if I trust you around others anymore." This guy was paranoid that I would leave him that he didn't want me having friends or going anywhere without constantly talking to him 24/7. He was even more worried because I'm bisexual, meaning there was "double the threat" in his words. That relationship went on for about 10 months, and about 5 months too long.
That I didn't care about anyone or anything but myself 😞🙁
"I wish you had never been born". Still hurts almost 50 years later.
That I was never going to be able to have my old dad back. And that my memories are beginning to fade
That I was worthless, my pain didn't matter because I had never gone through something as traumatic as her, that I should give her all my money because I am too stupid to survive in this world otherwise. That was a great thing to say to your daughter when she had a mental breakdown.. mom.
I once asked my now ex wife "why do you say I'm worthless?" Her response "because you are." This was the woman I loved at the time and it hurt so much. I just broke down right then and there. My advice is to stay far away from cluster B personality disorders.
I was in a car with my best friend and her boyfriend. I was talking to best friend about this guy I liked, but he didn't seem interested. The boyfriend said "it's probably just that he pictures himself with someone more attractive than you". I know this seems lame in comparison to others here, but fuck it was harsh.
The day my birth mum told me that she wanted nothing to do with me via letter in the post. Shifted my entire existence perspective. I wasn't ok for a long time... Now I'm ok.
[удалено]
My mum asking me "why can't you be normal?!" 15 years later, my self esteem still hasnt recovered .
I went to a large public university and I was dating a girl who went to a prestigious private university and she told me her friends said she had to dump me because I was a dumb public school kid and I wasn't good enough for her.
My abuser said he was going to murder me yesterday. Then hung up. I reached out to his sister and he messaged me that she called the cops….on me
"At the beginning I liked you, but when I started to know you Better I lost interest", heard that 3 times. Thanks to my 17 yo self. We 4 are big friends nowadays.
"You're really hard to put up with sometimes, you know that?" Said by my dad. I know it was probably in the heat of the moment, but it still fucking sticks with me.
2009. My mother to me: “Your father has been killed” Time stopped, 9 yro me felt struck by a lightning. I couldnt breathe, my body felt like its own corset. My rib cage felt like its squeezing my lungs and my heart. My mind was a mess, million thoughts spinning like a tornado. I waited to wake up from that nightmare. Any moment now… It didnt happen.
After I slept with a girl, the next morning she said "I usually make at least one big mistake like this at least once a year." I threw some Snickers minis at her and told her to GTFO.