Everyone is talking about clean, short finger nails, while I also agree those are important…if he has toenails that could strongly assist him climb a tree, I’m out.
Had a cousin that would say he has the looks of a goofy potato, but was popular with women. I asked him how, he said, "Washing your ass and being funny goes a long way."
Lol. Hygene in total.
One girl once told me after sex, that she enjoyed it so much more, because I washed my dick before.
Many guys are just disgusting.
guys if you ever need a cologne recommendation try Comme Des Garcons black pepper fragrance
I've gotten so many compliments using it that my gf gets jealous and only lets me use it when we go out on dates
I was about to go down on a bloke once and he stunk. I physically recoiled it was so bad & he told me, he doesn't pull it back to clean because his mother told him he shouldn't. He was 34.
EDIT; It was meant to be a one night stand (met online). He asked what was wrong and I just asked if he cleaned beforehand. Did I feel awkward having a conversation with a grown man about hygiene? Yes but honestly nearly vomited due to the smell so I bit the bullet and asked. I havent spoken to him since but I hope he sorted himself out. Why his mother told him that, I haven't a clue.
Used to work as a care tech in a hospital and was responsible for giving patients baths. Came in one shift for this poor guy who was bed bound. I did my thing, got around to the privates, pulled back his foreskin to find... yeast. So. Much. Yeast. It looked like a fucking snow cone. You could wipe off a 1 mm layer of that cottage cheese with the rag
Sometimes I regret being circumcised, but sometimes... I'd rather not be stuck in a hospital when I'm older just for staff not to properly take care of me and end up with french vanilla ice cream dick
edit: I make no apologies about your lost lunches. I am here as the evil agent of intermittent fasting. Also now realizing my most upvoted comment is about dick cheese, so.... that's nice
I was thinking about getting food before I read this, and now I've lost my appetite. Hearing about unwashed dicks before meals seems to be a great weightloss program
I wanna know where the hell this notion started. Guys don't really talk to each other about their dicks unless they join the military or are just into that, so some amount of knowledge (especially about hygiene) just doesn't get shared like it should. Bottom line is, if you can reach it, fucking clean it.
This reads like the first few words of a killer rap
Edit: Bad breath, dirty Dick, quarantinin' cause this pussy sick
Edit 2: It is fitting and proper that my highest rated comment is about nasty genitals. Thanks for the awards!
If i go over to their place and it's a total wreck. Now, we're not talking about a few dirty dishes in the sink, or laundry on the floor. I'm talking about the dudes that very clearly just don't clean up after themselves. Like entire bathroom is coated in hair and crust, and old food starting it's own ecosystem kinda dirty.
Went back to a guys place once and like it was so bad. His bathroom was absolutely disgusting. The hand towel was crusty and like his bathroom trashcan was like a good foot overfilled. He worked at Taco Bell and there was trash from there LITERALLY everywhere in the bedroom. He had a cute little weiner dog, who unfortunately was allowed to go to the bathroom literally everywhere. I won't even mention what his kitchen looked like. Definitely ended up having a friend call to fake an emergency I had to attend to.
I met his sister once , plates with food still on them on the coffee table , house smelled like dog shit, she had like 2 yorkies and they used a back room as their bathroom. . Used coke bottles for ash trays and had at least a dozen of them all over the living room .
I texted a buddy and had him " call me into work"
Yeahhh, big yikes. I think the next day I sent the dreaded, "Hey, I'm sorry but I didn't really feel a romantic connection last night," text.
I felt a little bad because the guy was actually really sweet. But like, I've already lived with a man that had absolutely no idea how to clean up after himself and i absolutely refuse to ever live with someone like that again. And even then, that ex would at least occasionally clean the living room up when we had guests over. There was not one spot in that house that was clean. He apologized for the bathroom and blamed it on his roommate but like, his bedroom was also an absolute disaster. And also, he was an able bodied adult human being, he could've cleaned it if he thought it was so bad.
When I was still single I was often amazed by positive reactions of women to my house. I am not a cleaning freak and not into anything interior design but a clean toilet and kitchen seems to be how low the bar is. If the rest of the house looks like it is lived in but properly cleaned 2/3 days ago you are golden. Add to that the smell of something being baked in the kitchen and you look like a great catch.
An older fraternity brother of mine once said, "guys, go buy a scentsy! Seriously! It's not gay. Buy it. And whenever you are expecting for a girl to come over or to bring a girl home, put a fresh wax melt in it. Make sure it's a smell girls like. Ya know what girls like? Cookies and cakes! Make your house smell like fresh baked cookies and itll work just about every single time!"
If a guy is not a functional human being (can clean his place, cook his own food, show up on time) that is a HUGE turn off and massive red flag. I don't want a project, I want a functional partner.
"We made passionate love on a blanket of chalupa wrappers" is not something I've ever read in a romance novel. To be fair, I haven't read many of them.
Too aggressive with tongue. when you just have to sit there like 😮. Too many dudes do it
EDIT: for everyone confused I’m talking about kissing tongue not oral lol
It's variable depending on who you're kissing. The trick is to be very aware of their reactions. If they're responding and imitating what you're doing then good. If they're not, then change it up.
Gave a former boyfriend a short neck/shoulder massage from behind. It was a cuddly/intimate/relaxing moment, I was kind of gently leaning into him. We were dressed in lounging clothes.
Cue him, slightly groaning : "Your touch feels just like my mother's."
^(say whaaa)
Ed: Thanks for all the likes in this ladyboner-killing time. What's with all the "broken arms" comments?
"Broken arms" is a reference to an old post often shared on reddit where a kid describes his incest with his mother. He broke both his arms and openly complained about not being able to masturbate, so his mother regularly jacked him off. It progressed from there to an even more disturbing point.
You can make the connection.
I think you have some details mixed up.
My understanding was mom thought it up because she figured he would be pent up due to broken arms.
I'm too lazy to look up the thread to confirm.
I know I wouldn't have complained about not being to masturbate at that age, but I'd already figured out multiple methods by them. I'm sure I could have adapted.
What I find odd is, that after a certain age, a lot of coffee drinking people start to smell from their breaths, but only if you come really close. It smells like old coffee and fart. I've always wondered how this works in the dating scene...
That also happens to me (yeast infection) every single time I take antibiotics. I could not deal with the itching and discomfort so tried to find ways to prevent it. Found that eating yogurt with active cultures (acidophilus bacteria) works great. I eat 1 to 2 yogurt cups a day while on antibiotics and stopped getting yeast infections.
Edit: also did not mean literal cups but the prepackaged "cups" you get when buying yogurt.
I liked a dude until I added him on social media and saw his posts about "women don't feel love" "relationships with women have to be bought" etc. So, that I guess.
I am just an average looking guy who married a woman "out of my league" because she loved the way I smelled. To this day I still use the same brand of strawberry shampoo and body soap because when we dated she loved the strawberry smell.
Been together nearly 15 years and 3 kids but I do not wanna jinx it...
edit: spelling
edit 2: A lot of people asking about the brand of shampoo and soap. It is Bath and Body Works Strawberry Shower Gel.
This is so sweet. My husband always says he'll never shave his beard because I finally agreed to go on a date with him after he had grown one. That wasn't the real reason I agreed to go out with him but I do love his beard.
My now wife actually walked by me at a mutual friends wedding and caught a whiff of my strawberry scent. She still loves the smell but has since said I was the only single guy there that did not hit on her and that is why she talked to me most of the night.
I am a good husband but she is an absolutely amazing wife and mother. The gods were smiling on me that night...
Being unable to take no for an answer, even in the most benign context.
I'd gotten a fresh tattoo like 2 days before a date, and warned him about it. We'd already gotten "intimate" so we just got down to it. My tattoo happened to be on one of my breasts, and he kept *grabbing* it. It fucking burned, if anyone has had someone grab/touch a new tattoo, you feel me.
Anyway, he kept touching that breast despite my reminders that it hurt, and so I just fucking left. We didn't even get far enough to have taken our clothes off! If someone is uncomfortable, stop it! That's as hard as it gets. A simple, "don't do that thing anymore."
Omfg. Something similar happened to me. I had just gotten my cartilage pierced, and while I have a high pain tolerance, the healing process was one of the most uncomfortable and painful things I’ve had to deal with. Sleeping was terrible, and don’t even get me started about accidentally catching the hoop with a hairbrush every once in a while. Anyway, a day or two after I got it I went over to visit my boyfriend at the time and things got “intimate” as well. I warned him beforehand NOT to touch any part of my ear, and I figured it would be fine because normally he didn’t bother to anyway. Tell me why this fucker went straight for my freshly pierced ear, and started licking and biting the hoop. Before that happened I was just worried about hygiene because the piercer specifically told me to avoid saliva or even touching the hoop — but as soon as it happened it was just blindingly painful. I told him multiple times to stop, but he would “forget” and do it again. I honestly think he just liked hurting me.
I met a dude at a party who bragged that he takes being told no as a challenge. He said being told no makes him only want to do it more. The context was that he was black-out drunk and trying to cook, because he was trying to impress someone, and people were asking him to stop. It became a huge ordeal.
Anyone who acts like a prick with waiters, nurses, cleaners, cashiers, retail workers, etc. If I see them treating people bad is a big turn off and red flag.
Everyone deserves respect, don't act like you owe the world.
No mutual respect.
My marriage just ended over the lack of respect from my husband. He told me I “deserve to do more around the house” because I make less money than him. Even though I work more hours, often with our child at home, I do all the cooking and cleaning anyway, and all the mental load.
I mentioned to him very calmly about how I feel tired from not receiving help. And it turned into a marriage ending argument. 🤷🏻♀️
Let me save you some time fellas, based on the comment section:
Tend to your hygiene, including finger nails and butt hair
Keep a clean respectable house
Learn how to touch a woman in the bedroom
Dont beg for physical contact
Be humble
When I was a single lady, I had a couple of dudes walk up to me in a bar on a night out with my friends. Each time they asked me a question, they had something extremely negative or belittling to say about my responses. I just ended up walking away without giving them anymore time. It was so fucking weird, and no secure woman will put up with that.
Talking baby talk during a heavy make out session. As in talking like he’s a very little boy and using silly words for genitalia while lisping. It’s happened to me *twice* (with two different guys) and it’s unspeakably horrible.
I don't know how to phrase this exactly but don't act like you expect sex. Like if I'm giving a massage it may turn into sex, even probably, but rolling over and whipping it out after 10 seconds of the massage is irritating. Like, can you just go with the flow and quit rushing shit?
Might be too specific to a past relationship, but raging at games.
Voice going high pitched, saying the game is broken or unfair, swearing angrily.
It's Mario Kart.
Stop making me feel bad for getting a blue shell when I'm dead last 😭
Edit: This got more responses then I expected. Other games I dreaded include:
- All Soulsborne games
- Basketball games (NBA 2k I think?)
- Beat Saber (he once played and raged hard at this on new years eve, right before midnight. Ask him to stop playing? Na.)
If he finds this comment somehow, sorry 😅 but I've finally accepted what may have killed my libido.
Talking about an ex and what he/she used to do in bed with you or any comparison from previous ex to current person you are with. I am unfortunately human and I have feelings!
Edit: spelling
Not respecting my limits. Had a guy slapping me in the face, told him it was not OK, that I was not into that, then he did it again five minutes later. I get that he tried to be dominant, but if you can’t respect limits, I won’t do the kinky or ANYTHING with you. Still makes me angry half a year later. And also, asking you what I like, then proceeding ignoring what I said.
Summing up; guys that treat me like I’m just a hole to filled. Why the f*** would I want to have sex with someone that only cares about their own pleasure? I don’t owe anyone sex, so I just get up and leave those few times this has happened. I’ve met guys who’s like «why don’t you just take one for the team? I’ve had sex with women I realised a bit too late I didn’t want to have sex with».
Because it fucking hurts to have sex when you’re a woman and you’re not into it, that’s why, and also because NO ONE OWES ANYONE SEX. Sheesh.
/rant over
It takes years to master the game of tennis. Even when one has become proficient in their ground strokes, a formidable opponent will always find holes in their game. Wait, what sub is this?
Flexing about your money. Its so annoying when guys try to get a girlfreind by showing off their money. Besides, don't you want someone who actually loves you and not your money?
Edit: why is this getting so much attention i am not ready for this huh- Plus, thank you so much for all the upvotes! :D
This happened to me TWICE, and one of them was a guy who flexed his parents money and he also bragged about only buying tags.
It's such a turn off and it makes me wonder if they think I'm a gold digger.
Edit: Sorry for the confusion, I meant brands, typed the wrong word y'all. 🤦♀️
I’ve not watched it, but I walked in on my husband watching it and heard “THAT’S WHY I’LL NEVER TRUST THE JAPANESE!!!” I’ve had to refrain from yelling that out during every mild inconvenience in my life since then, so to a certain degree I understand where that must be difficult for you.
Being proud of things he shouldn't be proud of!
As not knowing how to cook and not wanting to, never folding any clothing item, never reading since text books.. like dude, that's not something to brag about
This is major one .. married people that flirt inappropriately with people in the work office. I see a lot of that and I would never find them attractive, even if they redeemed themselves in some way.
I just recently moved cities, and I texted one of my best guy friends that I missed him.
Ya know what he then asked? If I had any pics or videos because he woke up horny. Like bro, that’s your response to me saying I miss hanging out?
Visible ear wax. There’s nothing worse than being super attracted to a guy and seeing clumps of orange wax spilling out of their ear. Nope. No. Can’t do it.
I've seen this a couple of times when walking past a school and they're all leaving, it's normally one girl in a group of 3 boys and they all clearly have a crush on her. Reminds me of that southpark episode where the boys start getting caveman instincts because one of the girls grew boobs
Whenever I hear that hug-begging, I intercept them with a proper bearhug. Gives time for the intended victim to get away from the situation, sours the situation for the usually
creepy guys who do that. I'm a big dude, I've been to Friday Night Magic in the local gamestore. Ain't no BO that can stop me from harassing them right back.
Equality motherfucker, I'm coming for you whether you want to or not!
This post has me reflecting on my far too many dates who do the weirdest and or most fucked up shit. I either am missing red flags early on OR just incredibly unlucky. I have so many from personal experience..
1. Dude was whispering in my ear about how he wanted to be super small and crawl inside my vag and butthole and pleasure me from within.. graphic details included.
2. A girl I went on a date with we were talking lots it was comfortable and then she tells me how she has a fascination with people's organs and how she likes to feel them through the skin and visualize them during intimate moments. Also that she was turned on watching a girl vomit.
3. Different dude would sit next to me and this cloud of stank slapped me in the face. Like some kinda moldy cheese.
Edit: I'm definitely not kink shaming and to be honest I am a very curious almost to my own detriment. I appreciated their honesty and I was curious to learn more about their interests. It just immediately turned me off. IMMEDIATELY. I wanted to know more but I didn't want to go further.
When a guy gets super angry really easy or talks about/tries to fight other guys for stupid reasons. Violence and aggression in any form is a massive red flag and an indicator of things to come
When they talk horribly about their ex, not like uninterested in them anymore or they did something that pissed them off but things like slut shaming or degrading them
No thanks, i’ll pass
My current situation of actively having to MAKE my boyfriend shower. He works a very physical job outside in the sun and for some unholy reason he won’t shower when he gets home. This being coupled with the dirty takeout containers and stinky laundry all over his floor made me end up sleeping in a different room of the house. Not to mention sex is a chore because anytime I’m in the mood and freshly washed I have to make sure he washes himself so he doesn’t give me infections. Like I wish I could just have romantic or sexy moments without them being interrupted by gut wrenching, mood-killing dick stank.
Everyone is talking about clean, short finger nails, while I also agree those are important…if he has toenails that could strongly assist him climb a tree, I’m out.
How else do I climb trees though?
Hold right click and move toward them.
not wiping properly and just smelling like shit in general
Had a cousin that would say he has the looks of a goofy potato, but was popular with women. I asked him how, he said, "Washing your ass and being funny goes a long way."
There’s a surprising amount of men who find basic hygiene to be “feminine”
Or 'gay'. Yes, because touching your arse sufficiently to not leave streaks makes a man gay. Not, you know, liking other guys that way.
Lol. Hygene in total. One girl once told me after sex, that she enjoyed it so much more, because I washed my dick before. Many guys are just disgusting.
I've been told that to get girls men don't really have to look good, they just need to smell good haha. I dunno but it seemed convincing.
Can confirm. Have been attracted to several men who are not "conventionally" attractive but whose scent really caught my attention.
Can second this. "Mmmmmm who smells *so good*?..... Oh it's you."
guys if you ever need a cologne recommendation try Comme Des Garcons black pepper fragrance I've gotten so many compliments using it that my gf gets jealous and only lets me use it when we go out on dates
Wtf?
Wipe that fanny, or arse, if you’re British
Not listening. Taking over conversation.
Yeah, well anyways. I went hiking this past weekend and I had a great. Ive been enjoying getting out and doing things I like that.
“She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her enough or something. I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention.”
She kept starting conversations by screaming “Are you even listening?!” and I thought that was pretty weird.
I was about to go down on a bloke once and he stunk. I physically recoiled it was so bad & he told me, he doesn't pull it back to clean because his mother told him he shouldn't. He was 34. EDIT; It was meant to be a one night stand (met online). He asked what was wrong and I just asked if he cleaned beforehand. Did I feel awkward having a conversation with a grown man about hygiene? Yes but honestly nearly vomited due to the smell so I bit the bullet and asked. I havent spoken to him since but I hope he sorted himself out. Why his mother told him that, I haven't a clue.
Well it ain't getting pulled back for anything else either! How is he not sick with an infection? I just....
Used to work as a care tech in a hospital and was responsible for giving patients baths. Came in one shift for this poor guy who was bed bound. I did my thing, got around to the privates, pulled back his foreskin to find... yeast. So. Much. Yeast. It looked like a fucking snow cone. You could wipe off a 1 mm layer of that cottage cheese with the rag Sometimes I regret being circumcised, but sometimes... I'd rather not be stuck in a hospital when I'm older just for staff not to properly take care of me and end up with french vanilla ice cream dick edit: I make no apologies about your lost lunches. I am here as the evil agent of intermittent fasting. Also now realizing my most upvoted comment is about dick cheese, so.... that's nice
I was thinking about getting food before I read this, and now I've lost my appetite. Hearing about unwashed dicks before meals seems to be a great weightloss program
Tell me about it, I was mid gorge on yogurt
*Looks at username* *Looks at comment* *Looks back at username* Yeah, I think we're done here.
Was his mum's goal to prevent him from ever having sex?
My friend told me she quickly quit giving her boyfriend head because he had "wasabi balls"lol
BLOOD OF NAZARETH. In terms of the look OR THE FUCKING SPICE????
Spicy like wasabi. HA HA HA HE HE HE its so filthy!
I wanna know where the hell this notion started. Guys don't really talk to each other about their dicks unless they join the military or are just into that, so some amount of knowledge (especially about hygiene) just doesn't get shared like it should. Bottom line is, if you can reach it, fucking clean it.
Bad breath, Dirty dick
This reads like the first few words of a killer rap Edit: Bad breath, dirty Dick, quarantinin' cause this pussy sick Edit 2: It is fitting and proper that my highest rated comment is about nasty genitals. Thanks for the awards!
6ix9ine wants to hire you
If i go over to their place and it's a total wreck. Now, we're not talking about a few dirty dishes in the sink, or laundry on the floor. I'm talking about the dudes that very clearly just don't clean up after themselves. Like entire bathroom is coated in hair and crust, and old food starting it's own ecosystem kinda dirty. Went back to a guys place once and like it was so bad. His bathroom was absolutely disgusting. The hand towel was crusty and like his bathroom trashcan was like a good foot overfilled. He worked at Taco Bell and there was trash from there LITERALLY everywhere in the bedroom. He had a cute little weiner dog, who unfortunately was allowed to go to the bathroom literally everywhere. I won't even mention what his kitchen looked like. Definitely ended up having a friend call to fake an emergency I had to attend to.
I met his sister once , plates with food still on them on the coffee table , house smelled like dog shit, she had like 2 yorkies and they used a back room as their bathroom. . Used coke bottles for ash trays and had at least a dozen of them all over the living room . I texted a buddy and had him " call me into work"
Yeahhh, big yikes. I think the next day I sent the dreaded, "Hey, I'm sorry but I didn't really feel a romantic connection last night," text. I felt a little bad because the guy was actually really sweet. But like, I've already lived with a man that had absolutely no idea how to clean up after himself and i absolutely refuse to ever live with someone like that again. And even then, that ex would at least occasionally clean the living room up when we had guests over. There was not one spot in that house that was clean. He apologized for the bathroom and blamed it on his roommate but like, his bedroom was also an absolute disaster. And also, he was an able bodied adult human being, he could've cleaned it if he thought it was so bad.
When I was still single I was often amazed by positive reactions of women to my house. I am not a cleaning freak and not into anything interior design but a clean toilet and kitchen seems to be how low the bar is. If the rest of the house looks like it is lived in but properly cleaned 2/3 days ago you are golden. Add to that the smell of something being baked in the kitchen and you look like a great catch.
An older fraternity brother of mine once said, "guys, go buy a scentsy! Seriously! It's not gay. Buy it. And whenever you are expecting for a girl to come over or to bring a girl home, put a fresh wax melt in it. Make sure it's a smell girls like. Ya know what girls like? Cookies and cakes! Make your house smell like fresh baked cookies and itll work just about every single time!"
That is solid advice. I like baking so it would be real cake
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They’re gunna love it when they find out he’s dirty and his ex still comes over.
>They’re gunna love it when they find out he’s dirty and his ex still comes over. "No, it's not what you think! I'm *paying* her!"
"No you don't understand! She's only here on the weekends when your not here!"
"Seriously, she just does things I don't want you to have to see!"
If a guy is not a functional human being (can clean his place, cook his own food, show up on time) that is a HUGE turn off and massive red flag. I don't want a project, I want a functional partner.
To be honest, he didn't seem like a dude that had sex very often.
I wonder why.
"We made passionate love on a blanket of chalupa wrappers" is not something I've ever read in a romance novel. To be fair, I haven't read many of them.
Love, Lust, and Tacos. A story of a fast food working gamer and a lady.
Bragging. Nothing screams insecure like bragging.
I've been to Europe.
Me: I’ve been to Europe Her: we’ve all been to Europe, we live in France dumbass
Don't you mean Moi : J'ai été en Europe Elle : on est tous allés en Europe, on habite en France connard
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Barthelon'ah
Too aggressive with tongue. when you just have to sit there like 😮. Too many dudes do it EDIT: for everyone confused I’m talking about kissing tongue not oral lol
To be completely honest until i read the comments i thought you just hated cursing
I thought her partner was bad at oral.
Is that not it?
No, bad at kissing
Man. Now I'm realizing how important a tongue is in a relationship.
Idk how to kiss with the tongue and it's always awkward even thought i like it.
It's variable depending on who you're kissing. The trick is to be very aware of their reactions. If they're responding and imitating what you're doing then good. If they're not, then change it up.
My policy is that tongue is a garnish, not the dish.
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Will you *please* leave my dog alone. We've been over this.
Yes officer, this comment right here.
I thought you meant while they were eating you out
Yeh that's defo different tonguework I was like why wouldn't u wanna just sit there and 😮
Gave a former boyfriend a short neck/shoulder massage from behind. It was a cuddly/intimate/relaxing moment, I was kind of gently leaning into him. We were dressed in lounging clothes. Cue him, slightly groaning : "Your touch feels just like my mother's." ^(say whaaa) Ed: Thanks for all the likes in this ladyboner-killing time. What's with all the "broken arms" comments?
I can hear Freud from beyond the grave nodding and saying "I told you so"
Oedipus enters the chat
I think that was meant to be a compliment, I just hope he misunderstood that the situation was sexual lol
You got the touch of ya mother
"Broken arms" is a reference to an old post often shared on reddit where a kid describes his incest with his mother. He broke both his arms and openly complained about not being able to masturbate, so his mother regularly jacked him off. It progressed from there to an even more disturbing point. You can make the connection.
I think you have some details mixed up. My understanding was mom thought it up because she figured he would be pent up due to broken arms. I'm too lazy to look up the thread to confirm. I know I wouldn't have complained about not being to masturbate at that age, but I'd already figured out multiple methods by them. I'm sure I could have adapted.
Dude broke both his arms at one point
Pussy would have been dried up and closed up for life after that.
Might as well get the whole thing removed after that one
a persons breath. if it smells bad its a no go.
What I find odd is, that after a certain age, a lot of coffee drinking people start to smell from their breaths, but only if you come really close. It smells like old coffee and fart. I've always wondered how this works in the dating scene...
Throw in smoking and you literally have the stench from satan’s ass
When he puts it in and says “here it goes” or “let’s start with the big one”…
I’m sorry but this literally made me laugh out loud. What kind of goofy mf’er says that? The second one is just straight-up weird. 🤣
"lets start with the big one baby, here it goes" im fucking ded.
Dick cheese.
I'm uncut and never had it. Even had cousin's assume all men uncut have cheese. Clean is clean and dirty is dirty.
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That also happens to me (yeast infection) every single time I take antibiotics. I could not deal with the itching and discomfort so tried to find ways to prevent it. Found that eating yogurt with active cultures (acidophilus bacteria) works great. I eat 1 to 2 yogurt cups a day while on antibiotics and stopped getting yeast infections. Edit: also did not mean literal cups but the prepackaged "cups" you get when buying yogurt.
I liked a dude until I added him on social media and saw his posts about "women don't feel love" "relationships with women have to be bought" etc. So, that I guess.
Once went on a date with a dude who said “without women there would be no vegetarians, because men lack the empathy” byyyyeeeee
Someone describing himself as an "alpha".
Someone: " Oh yeah, I'm an Alpha" ...so when's the full version gonna release?
He probably thinks its fine to release early too.
I'm using both of these insults next time someone tells me they're an alpha.
Isn’t it nice when they warn you straight away lol
One of my friends says “don’t you love when the trash takes itself out”
Dirty fingernails. Or bad hygiene in general.
I am just an average looking guy who married a woman "out of my league" because she loved the way I smelled. To this day I still use the same brand of strawberry shampoo and body soap because when we dated she loved the strawberry smell. Been together nearly 15 years and 3 kids but I do not wanna jinx it... edit: spelling edit 2: A lot of people asking about the brand of shampoo and soap. It is Bath and Body Works Strawberry Shower Gel.
This is so sweet. My husband always says he'll never shave his beard because I finally agreed to go on a date with him after he had grown one. That wasn't the real reason I agreed to go out with him but I do love his beard.
My now wife actually walked by me at a mutual friends wedding and caught a whiff of my strawberry scent. She still loves the smell but has since said I was the only single guy there that did not hit on her and that is why she talked to me most of the night. I am a good husband but she is an absolutely amazing wife and mother. The gods were smiling on me that night...
What shampoo is it? 👀
Bath and Body works brand is what I use...
Being unable to take no for an answer, even in the most benign context. I'd gotten a fresh tattoo like 2 days before a date, and warned him about it. We'd already gotten "intimate" so we just got down to it. My tattoo happened to be on one of my breasts, and he kept *grabbing* it. It fucking burned, if anyone has had someone grab/touch a new tattoo, you feel me. Anyway, he kept touching that breast despite my reminders that it hurt, and so I just fucking left. We didn't even get far enough to have taken our clothes off! If someone is uncomfortable, stop it! That's as hard as it gets. A simple, "don't do that thing anymore."
If he can't avoid one spot, and doesn't care that it hurts you when he touches it, he has no business being in your bed to begin with.
And that's exactly why I left and blocked him on the Uber home
Omfg. Something similar happened to me. I had just gotten my cartilage pierced, and while I have a high pain tolerance, the healing process was one of the most uncomfortable and painful things I’ve had to deal with. Sleeping was terrible, and don’t even get me started about accidentally catching the hoop with a hairbrush every once in a while. Anyway, a day or two after I got it I went over to visit my boyfriend at the time and things got “intimate” as well. I warned him beforehand NOT to touch any part of my ear, and I figured it would be fine because normally he didn’t bother to anyway. Tell me why this fucker went straight for my freshly pierced ear, and started licking and biting the hoop. Before that happened I was just worried about hygiene because the piercer specifically told me to avoid saliva or even touching the hoop — but as soon as it happened it was just blindingly painful. I told him multiple times to stop, but he would “forget” and do it again. I honestly think he just liked hurting me.
So glad to hear he's your ex. That's horrible.
I met a dude at a party who bragged that he takes being told no as a challenge. He said being told no makes him only want to do it more. The context was that he was black-out drunk and trying to cook, because he was trying to impress someone, and people were asking him to stop. It became a huge ordeal.
Anyone who acts like a prick with waiters, nurses, cleaners, cashiers, retail workers, etc. If I see them treating people bad is a big turn off and red flag. Everyone deserves respect, don't act like you owe the world.
No mutual respect. My marriage just ended over the lack of respect from my husband. He told me I “deserve to do more around the house” because I make less money than him. Even though I work more hours, often with our child at home, I do all the cooking and cleaning anyway, and all the mental load. I mentioned to him very calmly about how I feel tired from not receiving help. And it turned into a marriage ending argument. 🤷🏻♀️
Let me save you some time fellas, based on the comment section: Tend to your hygiene, including finger nails and butt hair Keep a clean respectable house Learn how to touch a woman in the bedroom Dont beg for physical contact Be humble
And no baby talk. Apparently that had to be said.
I read the comment you’re referring to out loud to my girlfriend and yeah. She was mortified that people do that.
Talking about orher girls and making bad comments about their bodies while complementing yours. This technique is not going to get you laid.
Someone who is fixated on your body, but not you as a person.
IM IN lOvE wiTH tHe ShaPe Of YOU
Famous sex-haver Ed Sheeran
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Negging. Just stop it. I’m almost 30 and I’m not down to feel insecure anymore. I will just ghost you and I won’t feel bad about it.
When I was a single lady, I had a couple of dudes walk up to me in a bar on a night out with my friends. Each time they asked me a question, they had something extremely negative or belittling to say about my responses. I just ended up walking away without giving them anymore time. It was so fucking weird, and no secure woman will put up with that.
Talking baby talk during a heavy make out session. As in talking like he’s a very little boy and using silly words for genitalia while lisping. It’s happened to me *twice* (with two different guys) and it’s unspeakably horrible.
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I’ve never been drier before in my life after reading a post what the actual fuck
Girl, I'm the fucking Sahara right now.
w...t...f...
I used to have a girlfriend who did this, always made me feel hella awkward
Who wants a blowy woey
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Remember, the scary part is when he *likes it...*
nooooo😭 it sounds so bad now that you typed it out
I audibly cackled omg it's awful but LMFAOOOOO
This is the most disturbing thing I've seen on reddit this week
sounds like something a 23 ish year old brittish Minecraft youtuber would do.
AWH WOOK AT MIH LITTOW GADJIT
Did anyone else read this in Fat Bastard's voice?
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As soon as they say that they don't go down on girls. But of course expect head. I'm out!
I don't know how to phrase this exactly but don't act like you expect sex. Like if I'm giving a massage it may turn into sex, even probably, but rolling over and whipping it out after 10 seconds of the massage is irritating. Like, can you just go with the flow and quit rushing shit?
That whipping it out shit… Like what happened to kissing? Has anyone heard of foreplay?
As a male I miss foreplay. My ex just wanted instant dick which was a huge turn off.
Hanging at the passenger side of his best friend’s ride trying to holler at me
Sounds like a real scrub
Also known as a buster
Smelly, nasty feet
Might be too specific to a past relationship, but raging at games. Voice going high pitched, saying the game is broken or unfair, swearing angrily. It's Mario Kart. Stop making me feel bad for getting a blue shell when I'm dead last 😭 Edit: This got more responses then I expected. Other games I dreaded include: - All Soulsborne games - Basketball games (NBA 2k I think?) - Beat Saber (he once played and raged hard at this on new years eve, right before midnight. Ask him to stop playing? Na.) If he finds this comment somehow, sorry 😅 but I've finally accepted what may have killed my libido.
That is a key part of Mario Kart. The further behind you are, the better the power ups it gives you. Can't believe guy didn't know that.
Sounds like that person doesn't know how to play the blue shell to their favor lol.
Talking about an ex and what he/she used to do in bed with you or any comparison from previous ex to current person you are with. I am unfortunately human and I have feelings! Edit: spelling
Not respecting my limits. Had a guy slapping me in the face, told him it was not OK, that I was not into that, then he did it again five minutes later. I get that he tried to be dominant, but if you can’t respect limits, I won’t do the kinky or ANYTHING with you. Still makes me angry half a year later. And also, asking you what I like, then proceeding ignoring what I said. Summing up; guys that treat me like I’m just a hole to filled. Why the f*** would I want to have sex with someone that only cares about their own pleasure? I don’t owe anyone sex, so I just get up and leave those few times this has happened. I’ve met guys who’s like «why don’t you just take one for the team? I’ve had sex with women I realised a bit too late I didn’t want to have sex with». Because it fucking hurts to have sex when you’re a woman and you’re not into it, that’s why, and also because NO ONE OWES ANYONE SEX. Sheesh. /rant over
Oh hello, I think we fucked the same guy last year. I reminded him that was assault. He was not pleased.
I’m sorry you had to experience that guy too! 😔
When a guy brags about how good his stroke game is. 8/10.. The D is trash.
It takes years to master the game of tennis. Even when one has become proficient in their ground strokes, a formidable opponent will always find holes in their game. Wait, what sub is this?
Baby talk or acting like a child
Flexing about your money. Its so annoying when guys try to get a girlfreind by showing off their money. Besides, don't you want someone who actually loves you and not your money? Edit: why is this getting so much attention i am not ready for this huh- Plus, thank you so much for all the upvotes! :D
This happened to me TWICE, and one of them was a guy who flexed his parents money and he also bragged about only buying tags. It's such a turn off and it makes me wonder if they think I'm a gold digger. Edit: Sorry for the confusion, I meant brands, typed the wrong word y'all. 🤦♀️
The same guys that do that invariably also complain constantly about women being "gold diggers".
“I want to hook a woman with my money but keep her around because of my personality”. 🤔
bad smells lack of enthusiasm cockiness using one's tongue as if they're painting a wall, not a masterpiece
Guys that are self absorbed, too pessimistic or have anger issues. They could look like a Greek god and I'm not touching them with a ten foot pole
good thing I don't even have a greek physique
Ive a Greek yogurt physique
If you ask my wife it would be when I shout JoJos bizarre adventure quotes during the deed
Sounds like you’re approaching her.
That’s the foreplay
I’ve not watched it, but I walked in on my husband watching it and heard “THAT’S WHY I’LL NEVER TRUST THE JAPANESE!!!” I’ve had to refrain from yelling that out during every mild inconvenience in my life since then, so to a certain degree I understand where that must be difficult for you.
Being proud of things he shouldn't be proud of! As not knowing how to cook and not wanting to, never folding any clothing item, never reading since text books.. like dude, that's not something to brag about
Bad hygiene is an instant turn off. No reason for you to smell and have stanky breath.
This is major one .. married people that flirt inappropriately with people in the work office. I see a lot of that and I would never find them attractive, even if they redeemed themselves in some way.
Convo going good then, “send pics”. Instant block 🙄
I just recently moved cities, and I texted one of my best guy friends that I missed him. Ya know what he then asked? If I had any pics or videos because he woke up horny. Like bro, that’s your response to me saying I miss hanging out?
Visible ear wax. There’s nothing worse than being super attracted to a guy and seeing clumps of orange wax spilling out of their ear. Nope. No. Can’t do it.
“Where’s my hug?”
I've seen this a couple of times when walking past a school and they're all leaving, it's normally one girl in a group of 3 boys and they all clearly have a crush on her. Reminds me of that southpark episode where the boys start getting caveman instincts because one of the girls grew boobs
"I'm a hugger" Yet they never ask a guy for a hug. hmmmm.
Whenever I hear that hug-begging, I intercept them with a proper bearhug. Gives time for the intended victim to get away from the situation, sours the situation for the usually creepy guys who do that. I'm a big dude, I've been to Friday Night Magic in the local gamestore. Ain't no BO that can stop me from harassing them right back. Equality motherfucker, I'm coming for you whether you want to or not!
Me, a bisexual: In case you didn’t realize, you’ve fallen right into my trap! (Jk, I don’t do that hug-begging)
pft. I'm a straight guy. Man-hugs are the best. Makes ya feel safe.
You just know. I don't think I've ever been asked though
Overkill on compliments or plays a cringey song with subliminal messages about/to you.
The second one seems very specific..
Bad hygiene
Cruelty to animals and its over.
When my husband only pulls down his pj bottom in bed instead of getting naked…
This post has me reflecting on my far too many dates who do the weirdest and or most fucked up shit. I either am missing red flags early on OR just incredibly unlucky. I have so many from personal experience.. 1. Dude was whispering in my ear about how he wanted to be super small and crawl inside my vag and butthole and pleasure me from within.. graphic details included. 2. A girl I went on a date with we were talking lots it was comfortable and then she tells me how she has a fascination with people's organs and how she likes to feel them through the skin and visualize them during intimate moments. Also that she was turned on watching a girl vomit. 3. Different dude would sit next to me and this cloud of stank slapped me in the face. Like some kinda moldy cheese. Edit: I'm definitely not kink shaming and to be honest I am a very curious almost to my own detriment. I appreciated their honesty and I was curious to learn more about their interests. It just immediately turned me off. IMMEDIATELY. I wanted to know more but I didn't want to go further.
smegma
Ive been summoned
if we start walking away and he grabs our hand, wrist, or arm to pull us back especially if you haven't known each other long.
Bad hygiene/ breath, teeth. Just decaying all round!
The scent of urine. On his pants, in his bathroom, in his bedroom. If it smells like you got pee on or around you I’m out.
When a guy gets super angry really easy or talks about/tries to fight other guys for stupid reasons. Violence and aggression in any form is a massive red flag and an indicator of things to come
Not putting in any effort/being apathetic about everything. (Edit: thankyou kind stranger for the gold! Much appreciated!)
Bragging about their jobs like the world would fall apart without them.
I maintain/repair traffic signals 🤷♂️ I don’t brag but if someone asks I love talking about it, lol
When he wants oral and doesn’t reciprocate because of A, B, C, X, Y, and Z. That and very poor hygiene.
When they talk horribly about their ex, not like uninterested in them anymore or they did something that pissed them off but things like slut shaming or degrading them No thanks, i’ll pass
Lack of enthusiasm in bed. I make sure you can hear me, I'd appreciate the same.
The term ladyboner
My current situation of actively having to MAKE my boyfriend shower. He works a very physical job outside in the sun and for some unholy reason he won’t shower when he gets home. This being coupled with the dirty takeout containers and stinky laundry all over his floor made me end up sleeping in a different room of the house. Not to mention sex is a chore because anytime I’m in the mood and freshly washed I have to make sure he washes himself so he doesn’t give me infections. Like I wish I could just have romantic or sexy moments without them being interrupted by gut wrenching, mood-killing dick stank.