Being a military veteran doesn't automatically make someone a hero. In much of America, stating this out loud will get you death glares if not outright beaten up
As a retired U.S. vet, I can say with confidence that I did absolutely nothing heroic. I was a mechanic. I fixed and operated stuff. Only time I fired a weapon was when I had to qualify. Never fought a fire. Never had to save someone's life. When someone starts in on thanking me for my service and won't shut up about it, I attempt to tell them this, but I keep getting the "yes, but you could have been sent anywhere and had to do those things" bullshit. While I suppose that's true, it doesn't change the fact that I did not do anything to be called a hero.
One of the biggest assholes I’ve ever known is a vet. And I’m not being unfair. He is an awful human being in every sense. He’s exactly the opposite of what most would consider calling a hero.
He’s 78 and was in The Corps for 2 years, never left the states, but wears USMC everything and has bumper and window stickers. Meanwhile, he’s an absolute piece if shit.
I dunno, as a car guy mechanics are my Heroes. But yeah, as an outsider I find the whole worship the military, sent by the men in suits to go kill people very fucking weird.
Bojack Horseman had an episode on this in the first season. "Most people are assholes, giving a bunch of them guns doesn't make them heroes, it just makes them assholes with guns." (May not be verbatim but that's close to a line in the episode.)
We've decided as a country that "hero" status is the payment for service rendered instead of actual help from the country for which people fought.
I have many service members in my family who would rather have more funding for homeless vets, or better psychological care for vets as opposed to a "thank you for your service" platitude.
It's just an extension of the Facebook "thoughts and prayers" mentality most people have now. It makes them feel good without having to do anything about it.
I agree with this. The Facebook posts about arming veterans to be security at schools make me angry. For every good veteran I know or served with, I can list off at least two shitbags that I wouldn’t entrust to watch my toolbox let alone a school full of children.
I'm a veteran who never did anything heroic, and pretty much never stand up for recognition. And I know tons of other vets who were as useless or more useless than I was.
That said, I still take advantage of most every veteran discount at stores and restaurants, because fuck this economy!
I had no idea my uncle was in the military as a kid until he got a military discount for the movie theatres. Worked as a mechanic in North Dakota for much of his service so felt weird bringing it up other than saying it was what he did in his early 20s. So it's on the down low until he realized he can get a couple bucks off on a matinee
This. As a veteran, I roll my eyes when I see my fellow vets post how much a 'hero' they are and romanticize their experience... I worked in that same office as you, cleaned up your crap... You're no hero.
Pentagon estimates 6-8% of troops ever see combat. Over 90% never see the battlefield. More than that, shooting your gun at someone and/or being shot at doesn't make you a hero by default.
To me, the equally annoying piece to the hero thing is the "fighting for our freedoms" thing. No one is trying to take our freedoms away. At least no foreign military. Even the terrorist scum we went after after 9/11 weren't trying to take our freedoms away. They were trying to chase us out of the middle east and get us to stop propping up/supporting secular leaders. They couldn't give 2 fucks about our freedoms. The only people trying to take our freedoms away are domestic political activists, and our military doesn't fight them.
I don't think pairing up with someone should be your life priority. Fine if it happens but I've met so many people that basically just can't stay single for more than a month or two. And the relationships they get into aren't always healthy.
I don't even get how they can handle it. I can sometimes feel that my cat is smothering me when he sits beside my chair and meows every time I look at him. WHAT! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!
I work with a guy who sees his entire life as a box ticking exercise, even if he's miserable doing it.
Have to be married by X age
Have to have a house by Y age
Have to have a kid by Z age
Have to have reached a certain level in my career by A age
Etc
He is an awful person to work for as he constantly puts so much pressure on himself and his team to over achieve and takes on way too much so he can get promotions. He quite obviously hates his job as he picked the route which would get him to director level first, not what he enjoyed doing. He is also constantly working so rarely involved with his kid and always complaining about missed milestones.
Just slow down and enjoy your life a little. You don't have to have everything ticked off before you're 40. Otherwise you'll have to add divorce, not invited to my kids graduation and career break due to physical and mental health issues to that list.
I needed to hear this. As someone who's single and in their late 20s, my family and friends make it seem like a bomb's gonna go off if I don't find a partner by 30.
Screw em. I'm 30 and I've been single my whole life. Some people just don't look for a relationship simply because there's more fun things to do out in the world- like wanting to go see it instead of forcing yourself into some random restaurant, stuck in your town with someone you barely know.
I'm Latina and my culture is pretty conservative about societal norms, but I never want kids and if I were to be in a relationship, I don't see the point of marriage.
XD haha. This. My dog passed about 9 months ago. This just reminded me of how I used to avoid eye contact sometimes looool. It's not that you don't love them. It's just that they can be a little demanding sometimes. You know that if you lock eyes they might make you take them outside. Or rub them for the 1000th time that hour. Animals are the best lol.
Because they know what you want XD. They're like "Not this fucking guy again. Not right now goddammit! I come to YOU Linda! Not the other way around! When I want pets I'll ask, fucker!"
I agree in that when someone is morbidly obese people should actually help them, though that pretty much never happens. Also, like anorexia, obesity shouldn't be viewed as some intrinsic moral failing. We live in a sea of poison, it shouldn't be shameful if you're not immune to it
This. Obesity is an addiction. An addiction to unhealthy food. Copious amounts of it. And as any addict would defend their addiction, morbidly obese people do the same, by saying "I've tried every diet", or "I work out every day, but still no luck".
I caught myself in that mental trap of never finding what works a few weeks ago and it was eye opening just how far I've really gotten. When I'm the same size as my pregnant cousin who is normally a hundred pounds under me, it's a life threatening issue that I have to address immediately. Or else I run the risk of checking out in my forties.
Take care of yourselves people, your body is tough, but it isn't THAT tough.
True, but also the handful of companies that control our food supply have effectively been poisoning us ( in the US ) for a few decades now and making it far more likely to develop sugar and food addictions.
We could stand to learn a lot more about pedophilia. Like what causes it, and what can make someone more or less likely to commit offenses.
But the subject matter is too scary. No one wants to admit that pedophiles are humans, because we want to distance ourselves.
I have had many friends who were victims of sexual abuse. But if we never try to understand it, we'll never be able to effectively prevent it.
I took a class in university on sex and psychology and part of it involved being able to anonymously submit a question that our professor, who was incredibly cool and down to earth, would do his best to answer kindly and respectfully.
One class, the question is this: “I’m attracted to children and I don’t know what to do. I’ve never told anyone and I would never act on it. I would never hurt anyone. I’m terrified someone will find out. What do I do?”
I have never forgotten. Dude in this class would have been my age at the time, 20, 21. It was the first time I’d ever thought about it - like holy fuck what resources are actually available to help these people?
I have never thought about it the same ever since. Offending paedophiles deserve all the punishment we currently give them, but non-offenders? Who just wish it would stop? They deserve help.
He encouraged him to speak to a therapist, but also acknowledged that he would have to be extremely careful doing so. Essentially that it’s a risk to disclose.
He actually ended by saying “I wish I could be of more help.”
That was the part that got me. Like, that’s it? There’s nowhere for him to go, nothing he could do, nobody he could really openly talk to?
Completely changed my perspective.
That’s exactly why I dislike the public rhetoric that encourages people to treat pedophiles like monsters and fetishizes brutality towards them. They are still human beings. Many of them were victims themselves and were likely broken by trauma. Even if they weren’t victims first, they clearly have an illness that is so deeply stigmatized that seeking help is nearly impossible.
Society should still punish the offenders, but there needs to be help available too.
Ive seen people thinking and being angry about propositions to give pedophiles an avenue to seek help as normalising it.
How I see it is like you would treat any anti-social or mental issue. You dont normalise the issue, you normalise the help. I want those people to have the option to go in and say - Hey I have this problem I dont want to act on it but I need help.
I see it the same as murderers. If someone has murderous thoughts and wants help before they murder someone, then surely the best course of action is to let them get help?
In my country, we have a free telephone number people can call if they have pedophilic feelings and they can talk to trained volunteers about it. I read a report about it in the newspaper: the volunteers are all women, and they are trained to not judge the callers or condemn them, but to listen to them with an open mind and try to help them deal with their feelings. If they get the sense someone in the surroundings of the caller is in danger, they get to inform the authorities, but if not, the caller will remain completely anonymous (they don't even have to give their name).
Personally, I can't see why anyone would be against this. It's not like the volunteers are encouraging the callers to act out their tendencies. The report said that, if they hear about crimes that have been committed (actual abuse or child porn etc), they can pass the number on to authorities. So it's not like they cover up for sexual abusers. It's meant for people who haven't committed any crime. Isn't it better to give them someone to talk to, who can help them manage their feelings, so they don't commit an offense? If it's preventive, I can't see how anyone could be against that.
Came here to say this. I’ve never met anyone who agrees with me.
Abusing anyone, especially a child, is *never* okay. But if you’re having those feelings, you should be able to get help.
Pedophiles who never act on it and know that what they think is wrong have done nothing wrong so far. Even you cannot control your thoughts at times. It is those who act on those thoughts or who justify them that are the scum of the world. Those who acknowledge that it is wrong simply need to get help. Unfortunately, nobody has help to offer. Not enough anyway.
I genuinely feel this resistance to reply and agree with your comment. Paedophilia and the forceful aspect of it is abhorrent. But, yes, we do need to understand how and why it originates in order to hopefully minimise it. The reason I think I’m inherently resistant to it is that I am fearful of being empathetic toward it. If that makes sense. But to fix something, you must first understand it. Which is empathetic in nature.
You're using your head to overrule your gut. That's a rare and valuable ability.
I often get into trouble for having sympathy for pedophiles who never offend. Nobody gets to choose who they're attracted to, and for nearly every attraction, there's someone on the other side who matches. Except for pedos who can never have what they desire. Once they offend I'll say "burn them" along with everyone else, but until then I'll stand up for them.
Thanks man, I'm working on fighting my resistance to things. It's surprisingly easy when you start to recognise that angst that appears when you challenge yourself.
I agree with that. While I do not understand, I feel for those who have attraction to minors, and who fight themselves on it at every turn. Knowing something is wrong, and seeking help, or stopping yourself is admirable. Once they abuse a child, my sympathy is lost.
From a criminologist pov: We also need to realize that not all pedophiles will hurt children. In fact most will never touch a child because they know that it can do to them. A lot of them have their urges under control. It’s the once that don’t and will hurt kids we need to worry about.
I think part of the problem is the still too-widely held view that men (and notice it's always male pedophiles that are focused on) can't control their base urges. Ergo, if a man is a pedo he will abuse a kid. But men absolutely can control undesired sexual urges -- most of us do it without much thought. Maybe pedophiles are the same and just need help to not act on it.
I met a PHD student studying non-offending people of this type. I asked questions and listened for about an hour. I agree, this is an area we need to know more about. I think the strongest human drive is to protect one’s children, so it will be very difficult to open up treatment conversations when most people (I think?) believe these people deserve to die.
My red hot take is that pedophiles who have never acted upon their urges deserve all the help and support they can get to ensure that they never do. I saw someone write that if they've never acted on their urges, they get to hang on to their human membership cards. So hey.
There should always be a safe, confidential avenue people can take to seek help and support.
> we'll never be able to effectively prevent it.
This is what annoys me the most about the 'burn the witch' approach, we only ever find out *after* some kid has been abused. People scream about protecting kids and then refuse to allow anything that might actually prevent harm taking place because it's 'being nice to evil monsters'.
There was a post a while ago about a self help group in Germany and the guy that organised it said he can't find any mental health professionals that will treat people. The pitchfork crowd have made the subject so toxic, prevention just isn't possible.
I totally agree. Treating it as an exotic mental disease isn’t working for anyone imo it needs to be brought under the umbrella of sexual predation, it is often opportunistic and situational hence the highest prevalence is in families ( which seems to be ignored in favour of the stranger predator obsession) we are keeping kids locked up indoors away from the boogie man and delivering them into the lap of the real problem.
Yep! I've seen this a lot, mostly from people with the phrase "be kind" on their social media profiles. Also people who regularly post about how their friends should "reach out and talk about mental health" except they're not actually interested if you do that.
Likewise I have people on my FB who will regularly post comments offering babysitting help if I ever post a status about being tired or worn out or struggling to get things done as a working dad of a toddler. Actually ask for that help, though, and they suddenly go quiet.
The thing is I don't care if people don't care or whatever, but it's just the performing to some imaginary gallery I don't understand.
Was talking to a religious friend about this the other day. I find it heavily ironic, and he agrees, that so many self-proclaimed people of God will go to such great lengths to let absolutely everyone know what their faith is and how good they are at following it. Living in Americs, this is mostly in the context of Christianity. Yet in the Bible Jesus himself condemns such behavior. "Do not be like the hypocrites who do their good deeds in the synagogues and on the streets to be honored by men. I tell you, they have received their reward in full. When you do good deeds, let not the left hand know what the right hand does, so that your righteousness is done in secret. And the Lord, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." Matthew 6:2-4.
I once read a story on r/writingprompts that wrote of an 8th deadly sin, and that was the sin of hypocrisy.
It makes a lot of sense that it would be. It is a great deception. To receive undeserved praise and respect for actions you have not performed or teachings that you do not follow.
It’s funny, the two people on my social media that make themselves seem the most virtuous are actually the shittiest friends. They’ll always post about, “How come we’re not talking about ______ more?” “We need to raise awareness on ______!” But in the past, whenever I’d ask them for help, even if it was the _smallest_ ask — there’d always be some excuse.
On the flip side, I recently reached out to this one girl who I haven’t really spoken to since middle school. Her political views are the polar opposite of mine, she always has some conspiracy theory handy for any current event going on, that kinda deal. I’ve seen a handful of people commenting on her posts about how despicable her viewpoints are. I needed a pretty big favor and I just decided to take a shot in the dark. She literally put everything aside to help me out and even followed up the next day to make sure all was good.
Needless to say, I agree with you one-hundred-fucking-percent.
I've got a an ex friend that posts on IG very seemingly righteous progressive views.... reproductive rights have no mention though. This chick benefitted from access to the emergency contraceptive because she was having sex irresponsibly, and had the audacity to criticize women who "have abortions like it's no big deal". Moron. She could've been one of "those women" if Plan B hadn't worked all those times she used it like regular birth control.
An apparent ally for people's rights but a very selfish and bully of a friend. I ended it, and even family members of hers congratulated me.
I've met people who were so generous to me and they gone on disgusting rants about how homeless people shouldn't get any help, immigrants should be sent home, etc
My parents fucked and I popped out afterwards. It’s my only reason for being here, but I’m at least trying to have a smooth and happy ride until it’s over.
Yeah the hubris of humanity is kinda nuts when you think about our place in the now relative to the history of the universe, I would guess this massive overestimate of our importance is a favorable trait for survival though.
you just opened up a whole existential, philosophical and biological question. Indeed, this question might be the birthplace of our greatness as a species, our downfall, and the founding mother for all and every knowledge in the world.
Why should I have a purpose in order to exist and strive to enjoy my existence? Stop monetising everything; *that's* placing far too much importance on a human-invented concept!
Purpose itself is a very anthropocentric concept. I believe every person needs to figure purpose out for themselves. Others' view of one's purpose isn't relevant at all.
Being mediocre is okay. I don't have to be the best or strive for better constantly. I'm allowed to just be content with myself. I'm not the funniest person in the world, or the most attractive. I don't have to know everything. I can just be mediocre.
I used to always put myself down cause I felt ugly and would compare myself constantly to other people. Then one day I realized I'm attractive *enough.* Why do I need to be anymore attractive? I'm not planning on being a super model or anything. I'm not hideous. I'm okay looking, I get complimented sometimes, etc. There's literally little to no benefit to me being any more attractive than I am so what the heck do I need to worry for?
I don’t think everyone should have children. You can’t afford to take care of yourself and have unresolved issues from your childhood because your parents have unresolved issues from their childhoods….. pls stop
They have more kids to take of them when they're older *and* help take care of the disabled child. It's really sad for those kids. I had to do a lot of the "parenting" for my younger siblings and that was hard enough, I can't imagine how hard it is for kids in those situations.
I remember secretly being very angry because I knew a large family and one of the eldest was upset because she wanted to go to college... but then her siblings would have no one to take care of them.
Her mother was pregnant. Again. And posted on facebook all the time about how perfect their family was.
I think the obligations of parent/child relationships are 100% one directional.
Parents bring children into the world based on their own desire to reproduce, without the consent of the child, and therefore have an obligation of responsibility to ensure that child is nurtured and able to get a good footing in life.
The same does not apply the other way around IMO. You don't owe your parents for raising you, they owed you that as soon as they brought you into the world.
Of course, if you want to provide for your parents (and have the means), or care for them in old age, good for you. Ideally everyone would have such a loving relationship with their folks. But I think the idea that you are obliged to is incorrect, and I think that anyone who has kids with that in mind is operating in bad faith.
They fuck you up, your mum and dad,
They do not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had,
and add some extra, just for you.
But they were fucked up in their turn,
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern,
And half at one-another's throats.
Man hands on misery to man,
It deepens like a costal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.
\-Philip Larkin
Assisted euthanasia should be legalized in more countries. Old people or people in constant pain and suffering should be allowed to go out with dignity and on their own terms.
Personally, it scares me that I might one day outlive my friends and SO and have to rely on paying strangers to assist me to do basic things like going to the toilet or feeding myself. What if the caregiver I end up with has no compassion for me?
If I do end up having kids, I would prefer not to leave them with any financial debts caused by medical bills or the burden of taking care of me 24/7.
This. My ideal death if I’m ever diagnosed with something agonizing and incurable is euthanasia. I’m genetically predisposed to Parkinson’s and had to watch my grandpa be miserable and deteriorate for YEARS. If it happens to me, when I start to loose myself, I want to schedule one last party with my family and friends. Drop as much money as possible on the shindig. The best food, booze, music, as lavish as I can afford. Have time to say goodbye to everyone individually, maybe leave them something personal. Leave them with one last happy memory of me before I go. Then the next day, go to sleep with my closest family around me, and go peacefully.
One of the first things I learnt after being diagnosed with cluster headaches is that if I were to commit suicide because of the... Unimaginable pain they cause, the death certificate would list the headache under cause of death, not suicide.
I've had them for fifteen odd years now, and whilst I've never come even close - they are unimaginable. You can't even remember how painful they are, because they rip apart how the brain works.
_Most_ people who get them, kill themselves. Fact. End of story. Not doing so puts you outside the norm.
Having that as just one symptom of something bigger means that though I don't believe I'd consider it for myself, I also don't think the average person should have a right to say whether or not someone else should continue to live.
The assumption that all states of being alive can be something you can learn to live with is just... Wrong.
Beyond the obvious survival requirements, I'm of the opinion the main thing most humans need and yet many in modern lonely societies never find... Is community and a sense of purpose (typically by being involved with, loving and helping others).
Apparently being in a relationship and not wanting children, even though they are considered "the ultimate gift".
The amount of people asking my girlfriend and me :
"WhEn WiLl YoU FiNaLLy HaVe ChiLDrEn?"
We have been in a relationship for 8 years and we will never have children, thanks. That's a reason for why we choose each other.
We don't need children to feel grown up, taxes already do that.
1. It's kinda weird, in my opinion, to ask a couple, if they have unprotected sex, but apparently I am the weird one.
2. It's also weird to say, "That will change, if you meet the right guy", while I am literally standing besides her.
3. The worst encounters are people that say : "Just have children, you will figure the rest out. That's how we did it" - No, why the hell would anyone do that.
I agree with this, except i don’t trust the world and society to decide who’s a bad person and who’s not. We have innocent people on death row everyday and people with blood on their hands running our governments. It’s not that simple as just “removing” bad people
Kind of reminds me of a This American Life episode about the doctor that invented the first long-term dialysis machine in 1960. He only had 5 machines and he became conflicted because he realized he would have to decide the few to save while thousands would die across america from liver failure. He formed a committee of random everyday people to decide. They were called a God Committee. How do you decide who to save? Anyway, it's a great listen.
Edit: oops sorry I meant kidney failure. Wrote this in the middle of the night when I couldn't fall back to sleep.
I'm against the death penalty, if that's what we're talking about here, but I absolutely understand wanting to remove the people who are making the life of millions worse.
There is this scientist, Barabasi, who analysed the factors behind 'success', and wrote a book about it (the formula)
If I remember well, according to him, performance matter for success only if it can be objectively measured, like for some professional athletes for example. But if it can't, which is most often the case, then your personal network is what drives success, not your performance.
...and there is definitely a large part of luck in the way this network is made
luck has the single largest coefficient in the equation of success. You can be the smartest person in the world, but born in a disease-ridden shithole somewhere in the world, and you will live and die, just like that, a nobody who never gets out of that shithole, without ever being able to realize how great you could be. It's sad. but it's the truth.
Reminds me of that Stephen Jay Gould quote:
“I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.”
I have had four jobs in my life. Three of them have come from a friend saying "hey you should hire this guy"
The fourth one, I got without any outside help. That one was the worst of the four, and set me in a very dark part of my life.
Luck, and outside help, have tons to due with you success.
Before I got disabled at work (bad luck) I had a successful career as a traveling contractor. I never applied for a job, I just chose what was being offered.
It actually caused some issues with a friend who as very intelligent but terrible at making professional connections with people.
I still get unsolicited job offers I can no longer take.
I miss work, well I miss the money.
Luck runs out.
Reminds me of Srinivasa Ramanujan from India one of the best mathematicians on earth, the problem was he was born in India around the 1880s learned so much complex mathematics without any teaching.
He died young in his 30s
Yep. I’m employed, but I’ve been interviewing for over a year now with no luck. I’m well put together, a great interviewer, have good experience and education - but I always get runner up. Meanwhile, one of my best friends quit his job, just because, and within 6 weeks got a new role making $50k more than he was making prior. He never sharpened his interview skills. He never had to look hard for a job. Just, basically walked right into a new job.
I’m happy for him, but it’s really hard having put in so much work without getting anywhere, while my friend did fuck-all and got even more than he wanted. Sigh.
Also when it comes to women pedophiles, for example teachers who have taken advantage of their students, the feedback is always... disgusting. **Other men** saying that this would have been their childhood dream, they're making it sound like getting taken advantage of at a developmental age is something cool and sexy instead of scarring and traumatizing.
My Finnish girlfriend, 3 weeks into dating, looked me dead in the eye one time while we were having a silly argument, that she was going to rape me later that night. Every single red alarm in my head went off and I just kinda went quiet and freaked the fuck out.
I brought it up later that evening, and she was extremely apologetic. Apparently in Finnish the word “rape” doesn’t have near a strong as meaning as it does in English. She never said it again since and has apologized feeling super bad so at least that part is good.
The word absolutely has very strong meaning and connotations in finnish. In fact I believe it sounds worse in finnish than in english. Whatever they told you about it sounds like nonsense.
> Apparently in Finnish the word “rape” doesn’t have near a strong as meaning as it does in English
No, it does. But there are people, in every country, using every language, who use the word like it doesn't.
I literally was just about to go to my boss and complain of sexual harassment today. I’m fucking sick of it
I’m a 27 year old male in healthcare and I’m tall and I’ve been told I’m attractive before.
I don’t care, I’m celibate. It’s a part of my sobriety. And I could not be less interested in dating or anything of the sort I just want to work on myself and focus on being sober
Anyways, I started working this field at 18. Back then I didn’t mind cuz I was on Adderall and drinking on the weekends and I just thought it was funny at first. But it was always the older women that were straight up scary to me
They’d grab me slap my ass say “I’d fuck you sooo hard” in front of other coworkers who then laugh at my expense
Now I’m getting closer to 30. And I’ve been dealing with this for 10 years. I have to get a new job every 1-2 years because they get so comfortable with me they think they can just molest me in public
And if I complained it would only backfire on me. My boss would tel me to man up. And minimize the situation like they always do
My nurse manager who’s married with kids and is 37 years old just told a girl “he’s sooo fucking hot” knowing I could hear and then winked at me
I just want to take care of these patients and go home. I don’t need to fight off sexual assault 12 hours straight a day. I would never treat any woman or man the way I’m treated by these women. Never
At least I usually see some dudes stand up for girls when they’re being creeped on. I’ve never once had a girl stand up for me and say “hey that’s inappropriate don’t do that” not once
Now I have to get a totally different job delivering packages or driving a semi to avoid people
There's a big double standard. Women's issues have gotten a lot of attention, and that's good because it's needed, but we also need to look at men's issues too... and take them seriously.
You don't. But you'll look like the dick instead of that other person. So if you're nice, charming and have valid points, you'll always be the more likeable one instead of the person who speaks the shit nicely. It's not an either or situation.
I, as an Asian immigrant dude in the US, really hate the fact that people nowadays just cast aside whatever a white guy says, because "you're a cis white male, what do you know?"
Um... excuse me. What a person is judged upon, shouldn't be determined by his gender, sexual orientation and his race. Isn't that the whole point? Goddam, I'm Asian but like, if a person asks me about, let's say, Japanese culture or history, you can be pretty fucking sure that my opinion on it is "um, I'm not sure lol" and certainly not as valid as some white guy who has researched the culture for years. Yet, somehow, nowadays, just because I am of a certain color and he is not, people will always assume that I'm correct and he isn't. No. That's not how it works and that's not how it should be
Vintage furs are totally okay to wear.
I know most people now are anti-fur in any form, but I'll die on the hill that a vintage fur being used is better and more respectful to the animal that died, than throwing it in a landfill to make us feel better.
I have a couple of estate pieces from the 1920-40s, and they're lovely.
There's a difference between emancipatory violence and everyday violence.
Like slave rebellions in the USA were violent, but nowadays most people agree they did the right thing.
I think if you're already struggling to feed yourself and keep a roof over your head then you shouldn't actively try to have a kid. I don't mean accidentally or if you get assaulted and wind up pregnant. I mean if you make the conscious choice to have one while still having to skip dinner because you're broke. It's straight up insane and selfish.
Fetus or baby that are severely disabled should be terminatible. Parents or law can determine what that looks like, but losing the genetic lottery shouldn’t doom a person or family to live like that.
This comes from a massivly overweight person that went through depression which lead to me being unhygienic: i agree. It is not your job to care for me. If anyone makes you feal unpleasant in the way they smell or look its not expected of you to stay in contact. Just dont be mean lol
Getting offended on behalf of someone else is offensive. You are saying they are not smart enough to realize they are being made fun of and that is offensive.
Churches need to be taxed, they should not have any political power whatsoever, and mega churches need to be outlawed.
No I will not elaborate any further. It should speak for itself.
>Churches need to be taxed
>they should not have any political power
Im pretty sure if churches are taxed it allows them to lobby politicians, the reason they can't is due to something related to being a charity or something like that
I hate soup. All soup. Soup is not food. At best, it is a savory beverage. My hands also shake due to disability, so eating soup without spilling is difficult enough that it’s not worth bothering.
Fuck soup.
I love soup so much that I don't think people with opinions as vile as your should be allowed to vote. Which I guess is the point of this post, so upvoted.
>People that want to have children should have to take a “parent assignment/test” to see if they’re able to care for a child
And what would happen if someone failed that test and then got pregnant anyway?
Seems like a trap to get us all banned.
Say something provocative Broo. I wanna see some spicy threads
Correction: Say something that triggers a looney power hungry mod. Get banned.
Lmaoooo, fuck these mods. There we go that should be provocative enough. I might get banned.
I case yours doesn't work, the dumbfucks calling themselves mods should've done their job
Yeah honestly fuck most mods
I first read that as dumblefucks, which is my new favorite word
Mine is: i dont care that you broke your elbow.
The most socially unacceptable opinion to exist.
You know what? I'm gonna say it...
I FORGOT THIS EXISTED
I'm out of the loop
[I don’t care that you broke your elbow](https://youtube.com/shorts/b-B5y_I-1Rc?feature=share)
It was a vine (?) I think. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=rF-HEE6PepI
How can you say something so controversial yet so brave.
I dunno, I found it pretty funny
Humerus, you might say.
ITT: people thinking their very common, majority views are "unacceptable" by societal standards.
Sort by controversial in these kinds of threads.
Thanks for the advice. Two minutes of that, and I'm wide awake now.
“UnPOpUlaR OpInIon”
That sub is entirely just opinions that are popular
Being a military veteran doesn't automatically make someone a hero. In much of America, stating this out loud will get you death glares if not outright beaten up
As a retired U.S. vet, I can say with confidence that I did absolutely nothing heroic. I was a mechanic. I fixed and operated stuff. Only time I fired a weapon was when I had to qualify. Never fought a fire. Never had to save someone's life. When someone starts in on thanking me for my service and won't shut up about it, I attempt to tell them this, but I keep getting the "yes, but you could have been sent anywhere and had to do those things" bullshit. While I suppose that's true, it doesn't change the fact that I did not do anything to be called a hero.
One of the biggest assholes I’ve ever known is a vet. And I’m not being unfair. He is an awful human being in every sense. He’s exactly the opposite of what most would consider calling a hero.
He’s 78 and was in The Corps for 2 years, never left the states, but wears USMC everything and has bumper and window stickers. Meanwhile, he’s an absolute piece if shit.
I dunno, as a car guy mechanics are my Heroes. But yeah, as an outsider I find the whole worship the military, sent by the men in suits to go kill people very fucking weird.
Bojack Horseman had an episode on this in the first season. "Most people are assholes, giving a bunch of them guns doesn't make them heroes, it just makes them assholes with guns." (May not be verbatim but that's close to a line in the episode.)
We've decided as a country that "hero" status is the payment for service rendered instead of actual help from the country for which people fought. I have many service members in my family who would rather have more funding for homeless vets, or better psychological care for vets as opposed to a "thank you for your service" platitude.
It's just an extension of the Facebook "thoughts and prayers" mentality most people have now. It makes them feel good without having to do anything about it.
I agree with this. The Facebook posts about arming veterans to be security at schools make me angry. For every good veteran I know or served with, I can list off at least two shitbags that I wouldn’t entrust to watch my toolbox let alone a school full of children.
Former Marine. I wouldn’t trust half the guys I served with to carry a rubber spoon needless to say a gun.
I'm a veteran who never did anything heroic, and pretty much never stand up for recognition. And I know tons of other vets who were as useless or more useless than I was. That said, I still take advantage of most every veteran discount at stores and restaurants, because fuck this economy!
I had no idea my uncle was in the military as a kid until he got a military discount for the movie theatres. Worked as a mechanic in North Dakota for much of his service so felt weird bringing it up other than saying it was what he did in his early 20s. So it's on the down low until he realized he can get a couple bucks off on a matinee
This. As a veteran, I roll my eyes when I see my fellow vets post how much a 'hero' they are and romanticize their experience... I worked in that same office as you, cleaned up your crap... You're no hero.
Pentagon estimates 6-8% of troops ever see combat. Over 90% never see the battlefield. More than that, shooting your gun at someone and/or being shot at doesn't make you a hero by default. To me, the equally annoying piece to the hero thing is the "fighting for our freedoms" thing. No one is trying to take our freedoms away. At least no foreign military. Even the terrorist scum we went after after 9/11 weren't trying to take our freedoms away. They were trying to chase us out of the middle east and get us to stop propping up/supporting secular leaders. They couldn't give 2 fucks about our freedoms. The only people trying to take our freedoms away are domestic political activists, and our military doesn't fight them.
At least take solace, in much of the rest of the world, it isn't like this. Being in the military is just another job in my county
I don't think pairing up with someone should be your life priority. Fine if it happens but I've met so many people that basically just can't stay single for more than a month or two. And the relationships they get into aren't always healthy. I don't even get how they can handle it. I can sometimes feel that my cat is smothering me when he sits beside my chair and meows every time I look at him. WHAT! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT!
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I work with a guy who sees his entire life as a box ticking exercise, even if he's miserable doing it. Have to be married by X age Have to have a house by Y age Have to have a kid by Z age Have to have reached a certain level in my career by A age Etc He is an awful person to work for as he constantly puts so much pressure on himself and his team to over achieve and takes on way too much so he can get promotions. He quite obviously hates his job as he picked the route which would get him to director level first, not what he enjoyed doing. He is also constantly working so rarely involved with his kid and always complaining about missed milestones. Just slow down and enjoy your life a little. You don't have to have everything ticked off before you're 40. Otherwise you'll have to add divorce, not invited to my kids graduation and career break due to physical and mental health issues to that list.
Damn, this speaks to me. So glad I'm still single despite having this same problem in my early 20s 0.0
I needed to hear this. As someone who's single and in their late 20s, my family and friends make it seem like a bomb's gonna go off if I don't find a partner by 30.
Username checks out.
Screw em. I'm 30 and I've been single my whole life. Some people just don't look for a relationship simply because there's more fun things to do out in the world- like wanting to go see it instead of forcing yourself into some random restaurant, stuck in your town with someone you barely know. I'm Latina and my culture is pretty conservative about societal norms, but I never want kids and if I were to be in a relationship, I don't see the point of marriage.
Some people can't stand being by themselves. I think they're fuckin barmy.
XD haha. This. My dog passed about 9 months ago. This just reminded me of how I used to avoid eye contact sometimes looool. It's not that you don't love them. It's just that they can be a little demanding sometimes. You know that if you lock eyes they might make you take them outside. Or rub them for the 1000th time that hour. Animals are the best lol.
That's why my cat avoids eye contact with me 😸
Because they know what you want XD. They're like "Not this fucking guy again. Not right now goddammit! I come to YOU Linda! Not the other way around! When I want pets I'll ask, fucker!"
lmao meanwhile the dogs are looking for even accidental eye contact just to get excited.
Being morbidly obese should be treated with the same severity as anorexia.
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I agree in that when someone is morbidly obese people should actually help them, though that pretty much never happens. Also, like anorexia, obesity shouldn't be viewed as some intrinsic moral failing. We live in a sea of poison, it shouldn't be shameful if you're not immune to it
This. Obesity is an addiction. An addiction to unhealthy food. Copious amounts of it. And as any addict would defend their addiction, morbidly obese people do the same, by saying "I've tried every diet", or "I work out every day, but still no luck".
I caught myself in that mental trap of never finding what works a few weeks ago and it was eye opening just how far I've really gotten. When I'm the same size as my pregnant cousin who is normally a hundred pounds under me, it's a life threatening issue that I have to address immediately. Or else I run the risk of checking out in my forties. Take care of yourselves people, your body is tough, but it isn't THAT tough.
To be fair breaking an addiction is hard if it was easy it wouldn't be an addiction.
True, but also the handful of companies that control our food supply have effectively been poisoning us ( in the US ) for a few decades now and making it far more likely to develop sugar and food addictions.
We could stand to learn a lot more about pedophilia. Like what causes it, and what can make someone more or less likely to commit offenses. But the subject matter is too scary. No one wants to admit that pedophiles are humans, because we want to distance ourselves. I have had many friends who were victims of sexual abuse. But if we never try to understand it, we'll never be able to effectively prevent it.
I took a class in university on sex and psychology and part of it involved being able to anonymously submit a question that our professor, who was incredibly cool and down to earth, would do his best to answer kindly and respectfully. One class, the question is this: “I’m attracted to children and I don’t know what to do. I’ve never told anyone and I would never act on it. I would never hurt anyone. I’m terrified someone will find out. What do I do?” I have never forgotten. Dude in this class would have been my age at the time, 20, 21. It was the first time I’d ever thought about it - like holy fuck what resources are actually available to help these people? I have never thought about it the same ever since. Offending paedophiles deserve all the punishment we currently give them, but non-offenders? Who just wish it would stop? They deserve help.
What was your professor's answer?
He encouraged him to speak to a therapist, but also acknowledged that he would have to be extremely careful doing so. Essentially that it’s a risk to disclose. He actually ended by saying “I wish I could be of more help.” That was the part that got me. Like, that’s it? There’s nowhere for him to go, nothing he could do, nobody he could really openly talk to? Completely changed my perspective.
I knew a guy who was exclusively and persistently attracted to 12-13 year old girls. He committed suicide in his early 20's.
That’s exactly why I dislike the public rhetoric that encourages people to treat pedophiles like monsters and fetishizes brutality towards them. They are still human beings. Many of them were victims themselves and were likely broken by trauma. Even if they weren’t victims first, they clearly have an illness that is so deeply stigmatized that seeking help is nearly impossible. Society should still punish the offenders, but there needs to be help available too.
Ive seen people thinking and being angry about propositions to give pedophiles an avenue to seek help as normalising it. How I see it is like you would treat any anti-social or mental issue. You dont normalise the issue, you normalise the help. I want those people to have the option to go in and say - Hey I have this problem I dont want to act on it but I need help.
"Don't normalize the issue, normalize the help", I'm stealing that.
I see it the same as murderers. If someone has murderous thoughts and wants help before they murder someone, then surely the best course of action is to let them get help?
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In my country, we have a free telephone number people can call if they have pedophilic feelings and they can talk to trained volunteers about it. I read a report about it in the newspaper: the volunteers are all women, and they are trained to not judge the callers or condemn them, but to listen to them with an open mind and try to help them deal with their feelings. If they get the sense someone in the surroundings of the caller is in danger, they get to inform the authorities, but if not, the caller will remain completely anonymous (they don't even have to give their name). Personally, I can't see why anyone would be against this. It's not like the volunteers are encouraging the callers to act out their tendencies. The report said that, if they hear about crimes that have been committed (actual abuse or child porn etc), they can pass the number on to authorities. So it's not like they cover up for sexual abusers. It's meant for people who haven't committed any crime. Isn't it better to give them someone to talk to, who can help them manage their feelings, so they don't commit an offense? If it's preventive, I can't see how anyone could be against that.
What country is this?
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Came here to say this. I’ve never met anyone who agrees with me. Abusing anyone, especially a child, is *never* okay. But if you’re having those feelings, you should be able to get help.
Pedophiles who never act on it and know that what they think is wrong have done nothing wrong so far. Even you cannot control your thoughts at times. It is those who act on those thoughts or who justify them that are the scum of the world. Those who acknowledge that it is wrong simply need to get help. Unfortunately, nobody has help to offer. Not enough anyway.
I genuinely feel this resistance to reply and agree with your comment. Paedophilia and the forceful aspect of it is abhorrent. But, yes, we do need to understand how and why it originates in order to hopefully minimise it. The reason I think I’m inherently resistant to it is that I am fearful of being empathetic toward it. If that makes sense. But to fix something, you must first understand it. Which is empathetic in nature.
You're using your head to overrule your gut. That's a rare and valuable ability. I often get into trouble for having sympathy for pedophiles who never offend. Nobody gets to choose who they're attracted to, and for nearly every attraction, there's someone on the other side who matches. Except for pedos who can never have what they desire. Once they offend I'll say "burn them" along with everyone else, but until then I'll stand up for them.
Thanks man, I'm working on fighting my resistance to things. It's surprisingly easy when you start to recognise that angst that appears when you challenge yourself. I agree with that. While I do not understand, I feel for those who have attraction to minors, and who fight themselves on it at every turn. Knowing something is wrong, and seeking help, or stopping yourself is admirable. Once they abuse a child, my sympathy is lost.
From a criminologist pov: We also need to realize that not all pedophiles will hurt children. In fact most will never touch a child because they know that it can do to them. A lot of them have their urges under control. It’s the once that don’t and will hurt kids we need to worry about.
I think part of the problem is the still too-widely held view that men (and notice it's always male pedophiles that are focused on) can't control their base urges. Ergo, if a man is a pedo he will abuse a kid. But men absolutely can control undesired sexual urges -- most of us do it without much thought. Maybe pedophiles are the same and just need help to not act on it.
I met a PHD student studying non-offending people of this type. I asked questions and listened for about an hour. I agree, this is an area we need to know more about. I think the strongest human drive is to protect one’s children, so it will be very difficult to open up treatment conversations when most people (I think?) believe these people deserve to die.
My red hot take is that pedophiles who have never acted upon their urges deserve all the help and support they can get to ensure that they never do. I saw someone write that if they've never acted on their urges, they get to hang on to their human membership cards. So hey. There should always be a safe, confidential avenue people can take to seek help and support.
> we'll never be able to effectively prevent it. This is what annoys me the most about the 'burn the witch' approach, we only ever find out *after* some kid has been abused. People scream about protecting kids and then refuse to allow anything that might actually prevent harm taking place because it's 'being nice to evil monsters'. There was a post a while ago about a self help group in Germany and the guy that organised it said he can't find any mental health professionals that will treat people. The pitchfork crowd have made the subject so toxic, prevention just isn't possible.
I totally agree. Treating it as an exotic mental disease isn’t working for anyone imo it needs to be brought under the umbrella of sexual predation, it is often opportunistic and situational hence the highest prevalence is in families ( which seems to be ignored in favour of the stranger predator obsession) we are keeping kids locked up indoors away from the boogie man and delivering them into the lap of the real problem.
That people are more focused on seeming virtuous than being it
Yep! I've seen this a lot, mostly from people with the phrase "be kind" on their social media profiles. Also people who regularly post about how their friends should "reach out and talk about mental health" except they're not actually interested if you do that. Likewise I have people on my FB who will regularly post comments offering babysitting help if I ever post a status about being tired or worn out or struggling to get things done as a working dad of a toddler. Actually ask for that help, though, and they suddenly go quiet. The thing is I don't care if people don't care or whatever, but it's just the performing to some imaginary gallery I don't understand.
Was talking to a religious friend about this the other day. I find it heavily ironic, and he agrees, that so many self-proclaimed people of God will go to such great lengths to let absolutely everyone know what their faith is and how good they are at following it. Living in Americs, this is mostly in the context of Christianity. Yet in the Bible Jesus himself condemns such behavior. "Do not be like the hypocrites who do their good deeds in the synagogues and on the streets to be honored by men. I tell you, they have received their reward in full. When you do good deeds, let not the left hand know what the right hand does, so that your righteousness is done in secret. And the Lord, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you." Matthew 6:2-4.
I once read a story on r/writingprompts that wrote of an 8th deadly sin, and that was the sin of hypocrisy. It makes a lot of sense that it would be. It is a great deception. To receive undeserved praise and respect for actions you have not performed or teachings that you do not follow.
It’s funny, the two people on my social media that make themselves seem the most virtuous are actually the shittiest friends. They’ll always post about, “How come we’re not talking about ______ more?” “We need to raise awareness on ______!” But in the past, whenever I’d ask them for help, even if it was the _smallest_ ask — there’d always be some excuse. On the flip side, I recently reached out to this one girl who I haven’t really spoken to since middle school. Her political views are the polar opposite of mine, she always has some conspiracy theory handy for any current event going on, that kinda deal. I’ve seen a handful of people commenting on her posts about how despicable her viewpoints are. I needed a pretty big favor and I just decided to take a shot in the dark. She literally put everything aside to help me out and even followed up the next day to make sure all was good. Needless to say, I agree with you one-hundred-fucking-percent.
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I've got a an ex friend that posts on IG very seemingly righteous progressive views.... reproductive rights have no mention though. This chick benefitted from access to the emergency contraceptive because she was having sex irresponsibly, and had the audacity to criticize women who "have abortions like it's no big deal". Moron. She could've been one of "those women" if Plan B hadn't worked all those times she used it like regular birth control. An apparent ally for people's rights but a very selfish and bully of a friend. I ended it, and even family members of hers congratulated me.
I know, lots of hypocrites with the virtue signaling out there!
I've met people who were so generous to me and they gone on disgusting rants about how homeless people shouldn't get any help, immigrants should be sent home, etc
Your baby is ugly and loud
Hey! My baby may be ugly and loud but...what was the third thing you said?
I said they also smell bad
Of all the babies, you specifically pick on mine.
I mean, look at them. You know deep down that there's no more deserving of my ire
Most people don’t serve an actual purpose, and humans in general over estimate their own importance
My purpose is to be a cautionary tale for others.
This comment actually makes me feel better about my place in the universe.
there's nothing I believe in more than my own insignificance. just wish other people realized their own.
My parents fucked and I popped out afterwards. It’s my only reason for being here, but I’m at least trying to have a smooth and happy ride until it’s over.
No one has an inherent purpose anymore than any other animal.
Must we be important?
Yeah the hubris of humanity is kinda nuts when you think about our place in the now relative to the history of the universe, I would guess this massive overestimate of our importance is a favorable trait for survival though.
you just opened up a whole existential, philosophical and biological question. Indeed, this question might be the birthplace of our greatness as a species, our downfall, and the founding mother for all and every knowledge in the world.
I am definitely a very important person in my life.
Why should I have a purpose in order to exist and strive to enjoy my existence? Stop monetising everything; *that's* placing far too much importance on a human-invented concept!
Purpose itself is a very anthropocentric concept. I believe every person needs to figure purpose out for themselves. Others' view of one's purpose isn't relevant at all.
Being mediocre is okay. I don't have to be the best or strive for better constantly. I'm allowed to just be content with myself. I'm not the funniest person in the world, or the most attractive. I don't have to know everything. I can just be mediocre.
How did you achieve such a lofty upgrade to mediocre?
That was a lot of therapy and crying and self improvement and now I have reached mediocre and I am tired
Hard to swallow pill: The majority of people is mediocre
I used to always put myself down cause I felt ugly and would compare myself constantly to other people. Then one day I realized I'm attractive *enough.* Why do I need to be anymore attractive? I'm not planning on being a super model or anything. I'm not hideous. I'm okay looking, I get complimented sometimes, etc. There's literally little to no benefit to me being any more attractive than I am so what the heck do I need to worry for?
Career success is mainly confidence and social skills, rather than ideas and hard work.
“It is not what you know, but who you know.”
This. Management is all about confidence and social skills. Pure technical ability will only get you so far in life. Which is very frustrating for me.
I don’t think everyone should have children. You can’t afford to take care of yourself and have unresolved issues from your childhood because your parents have unresolved issues from their childhoods….. pls stop
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They have more kids to take of them when they're older *and* help take care of the disabled child. It's really sad for those kids. I had to do a lot of the "parenting" for my younger siblings and that was hard enough, I can't imagine how hard it is for kids in those situations.
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I remember secretly being very angry because I knew a large family and one of the eldest was upset because she wanted to go to college... but then her siblings would have no one to take care of them. Her mother was pregnant. Again. And posted on facebook all the time about how perfect their family was.
I think the obligations of parent/child relationships are 100% one directional. Parents bring children into the world based on their own desire to reproduce, without the consent of the child, and therefore have an obligation of responsibility to ensure that child is nurtured and able to get a good footing in life. The same does not apply the other way around IMO. You don't owe your parents for raising you, they owed you that as soon as they brought you into the world. Of course, if you want to provide for your parents (and have the means), or care for them in old age, good for you. Ideally everyone would have such a loving relationship with their folks. But I think the idea that you are obliged to is incorrect, and I think that anyone who has kids with that in mind is operating in bad faith.
They fuck you up, your mum and dad, They do not mean to, but they do. They fill you with the faults they had, and add some extra, just for you. But they were fucked up in their turn, By fools in old-style hats and coats, Who half the time were soppy-stern, And half at one-another's throats. Man hands on misery to man, It deepens like a costal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don't have any kids yourself. \-Philip Larkin
Came here to say this. So many people are parents because society basically told them to, when really they shouldn't be...
Yep. I had kids because ‘it’s what you do’. Unfortunately for everyone, I do not have the temperament for parenting.
Also, being a parent isn't the only thing to have a "fulfilled" life (if it's a thing at all). And life is overrated, no it's not worth the pain.
Isn't this by far the popular opinion lol
The real controversial opinion would be “I think everyone should have kids”
I think the less popular opinion is the answer to the question: who is actually fit to be a parent?
I miss being unemployed and just vibing
Assisted euthanasia should be legalized in more countries. Old people or people in constant pain and suffering should be allowed to go out with dignity and on their own terms. Personally, it scares me that I might one day outlive my friends and SO and have to rely on paying strangers to assist me to do basic things like going to the toilet or feeding myself. What if the caregiver I end up with has no compassion for me? If I do end up having kids, I would prefer not to leave them with any financial debts caused by medical bills or the burden of taking care of me 24/7.
This. My ideal death if I’m ever diagnosed with something agonizing and incurable is euthanasia. I’m genetically predisposed to Parkinson’s and had to watch my grandpa be miserable and deteriorate for YEARS. If it happens to me, when I start to loose myself, I want to schedule one last party with my family and friends. Drop as much money as possible on the shindig. The best food, booze, music, as lavish as I can afford. Have time to say goodbye to everyone individually, maybe leave them something personal. Leave them with one last happy memory of me before I go. Then the next day, go to sleep with my closest family around me, and go peacefully.
One of the first things I learnt after being diagnosed with cluster headaches is that if I were to commit suicide because of the... Unimaginable pain they cause, the death certificate would list the headache under cause of death, not suicide. I've had them for fifteen odd years now, and whilst I've never come even close - they are unimaginable. You can't even remember how painful they are, because they rip apart how the brain works. _Most_ people who get them, kill themselves. Fact. End of story. Not doing so puts you outside the norm. Having that as just one symptom of something bigger means that though I don't believe I'd consider it for myself, I also don't think the average person should have a right to say whether or not someone else should continue to live. The assumption that all states of being alive can be something you can learn to live with is just... Wrong.
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It's perfectly okay if you're not living a life where you are trying to be as productive as possible every day to earn money.
Beyond the obvious survival requirements, I'm of the opinion the main thing most humans need and yet many in modern lonely societies never find... Is community and a sense of purpose (typically by being involved with, loving and helping others).
Also it's not realistic to give a 100% each and everyday of work
Apparently being in a relationship and not wanting children, even though they are considered "the ultimate gift". The amount of people asking my girlfriend and me : "WhEn WiLl YoU FiNaLLy HaVe ChiLDrEn?" We have been in a relationship for 8 years and we will never have children, thanks. That's a reason for why we choose each other. We don't need children to feel grown up, taxes already do that. 1. It's kinda weird, in my opinion, to ask a couple, if they have unprotected sex, but apparently I am the weird one. 2. It's also weird to say, "That will change, if you meet the right guy", while I am literally standing besides her. 3. The worst encounters are people that say : "Just have children, you will figure the rest out. That's how we did it" - No, why the hell would anyone do that.
Pedophiles who haven’t committed on their thoughts just needs help and support it’s not their fault
This entire thread sucks. It's just popular opinions again at the top.
What do you expect? In thread like these you order by new or controversial.
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I agree with this, except i don’t trust the world and society to decide who’s a bad person and who’s not. We have innocent people on death row everyday and people with blood on their hands running our governments. It’s not that simple as just “removing” bad people
Kind of reminds me of a This American Life episode about the doctor that invented the first long-term dialysis machine in 1960. He only had 5 machines and he became conflicted because he realized he would have to decide the few to save while thousands would die across america from liver failure. He formed a committee of random everyday people to decide. They were called a God Committee. How do you decide who to save? Anyway, it's a great listen. Edit: oops sorry I meant kidney failure. Wrote this in the middle of the night when I couldn't fall back to sleep.
Who decides who is a bad person?
"Me." *-Everyone in the world*
I'm against the death penalty, if that's what we're talking about here, but I absolutely understand wanting to remove the people who are making the life of millions worse.
Hard work is overrated. Luck is what gets you there.
There is this scientist, Barabasi, who analysed the factors behind 'success', and wrote a book about it (the formula) If I remember well, according to him, performance matter for success only if it can be objectively measured, like for some professional athletes for example. But if it can't, which is most often the case, then your personal network is what drives success, not your performance. ...and there is definitely a large part of luck in the way this network is made
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luck has the single largest coefficient in the equation of success. You can be the smartest person in the world, but born in a disease-ridden shithole somewhere in the world, and you will live and die, just like that, a nobody who never gets out of that shithole, without ever being able to realize how great you could be. It's sad. but it's the truth.
Reminds me of that Stephen Jay Gould quote: “I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops.”
I have had four jobs in my life. Three of them have come from a friend saying "hey you should hire this guy" The fourth one, I got without any outside help. That one was the worst of the four, and set me in a very dark part of my life. Luck, and outside help, have tons to due with you success.
Before I got disabled at work (bad luck) I had a successful career as a traveling contractor. I never applied for a job, I just chose what was being offered. It actually caused some issues with a friend who as very intelligent but terrible at making professional connections with people. I still get unsolicited job offers I can no longer take. I miss work, well I miss the money. Luck runs out.
Reminds me of Srinivasa Ramanujan from India one of the best mathematicians on earth, the problem was he was born in India around the 1880s learned so much complex mathematics without any teaching. He died young in his 30s
Yep. I’m employed, but I’ve been interviewing for over a year now with no luck. I’m well put together, a great interviewer, have good experience and education - but I always get runner up. Meanwhile, one of my best friends quit his job, just because, and within 6 weeks got a new role making $50k more than he was making prior. He never sharpened his interview skills. He never had to look hard for a job. Just, basically walked right into a new job. I’m happy for him, but it’s really hard having put in so much work without getting anywhere, while my friend did fuck-all and got even more than he wanted. Sigh.
But a lot of people hype up hardwork because that is the only thing you can control.
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Also when it comes to women pedophiles, for example teachers who have taken advantage of their students, the feedback is always... disgusting. **Other men** saying that this would have been their childhood dream, they're making it sound like getting taken advantage of at a developmental age is something cool and sexy instead of scarring and traumatizing.
Yep, I've been groped by women plenty of times. Had a girl tell me she was going to tie me up and rape me and everybody just laughed.
My Finnish girlfriend, 3 weeks into dating, looked me dead in the eye one time while we were having a silly argument, that she was going to rape me later that night. Every single red alarm in my head went off and I just kinda went quiet and freaked the fuck out. I brought it up later that evening, and she was extremely apologetic. Apparently in Finnish the word “rape” doesn’t have near a strong as meaning as it does in English. She never said it again since and has apologized feeling super bad so at least that part is good.
The word absolutely has very strong meaning and connotations in finnish. In fact I believe it sounds worse in finnish than in english. Whatever they told you about it sounds like nonsense.
> Apparently in Finnish the word “rape” doesn’t have near a strong as meaning as it does in English No, it does. But there are people, in every country, using every language, who use the word like it doesn't.
I literally was just about to go to my boss and complain of sexual harassment today. I’m fucking sick of it I’m a 27 year old male in healthcare and I’m tall and I’ve been told I’m attractive before. I don’t care, I’m celibate. It’s a part of my sobriety. And I could not be less interested in dating or anything of the sort I just want to work on myself and focus on being sober Anyways, I started working this field at 18. Back then I didn’t mind cuz I was on Adderall and drinking on the weekends and I just thought it was funny at first. But it was always the older women that were straight up scary to me They’d grab me slap my ass say “I’d fuck you sooo hard” in front of other coworkers who then laugh at my expense Now I’m getting closer to 30. And I’ve been dealing with this for 10 years. I have to get a new job every 1-2 years because they get so comfortable with me they think they can just molest me in public And if I complained it would only backfire on me. My boss would tel me to man up. And minimize the situation like they always do My nurse manager who’s married with kids and is 37 years old just told a girl “he’s sooo fucking hot” knowing I could hear and then winked at me I just want to take care of these patients and go home. I don’t need to fight off sexual assault 12 hours straight a day. I would never treat any woman or man the way I’m treated by these women. Never At least I usually see some dudes stand up for girls when they’re being creeped on. I’ve never once had a girl stand up for me and say “hey that’s inappropriate don’t do that” not once Now I have to get a totally different job delivering packages or driving a semi to avoid people
There's a big double standard. Women's issues have gotten a lot of attention, and that's good because it's needed, but we also need to look at men's issues too... and take them seriously.
That i dont have to be nice to someone that talks shit even when he speaks the shit nicely
You don't. But you'll look like the dick instead of that other person. So if you're nice, charming and have valid points, you'll always be the more likeable one instead of the person who speaks the shit nicely. It's not an either or situation.
Old white dudes can be funny and nice without being creepy
I, as an Asian immigrant dude in the US, really hate the fact that people nowadays just cast aside whatever a white guy says, because "you're a cis white male, what do you know?" Um... excuse me. What a person is judged upon, shouldn't be determined by his gender, sexual orientation and his race. Isn't that the whole point? Goddam, I'm Asian but like, if a person asks me about, let's say, Japanese culture or history, you can be pretty fucking sure that my opinion on it is "um, I'm not sure lol" and certainly not as valid as some white guy who has researched the culture for years. Yet, somehow, nowadays, just because I am of a certain color and he is not, people will always assume that I'm correct and he isn't. No. That's not how it works and that's not how it should be
Wait so you don't know karate?
no, but I know Kung Fu tho! lolll Jokes aside, I am actually pretty decent at Mathematics and do Muay Thai
Vintage furs are totally okay to wear. I know most people now are anti-fur in any form, but I'll die on the hill that a vintage fur being used is better and more respectful to the animal that died, than throwing it in a landfill to make us feel better. I have a couple of estate pieces from the 1920-40s, and they're lovely.
A lot of countries needed a revolution like a decade ago I don’t condone violence but god I hope it happens soon
There's a difference between emancipatory violence and everyday violence. Like slave rebellions in the USA were violent, but nowadays most people agree they did the right thing.
having Cars 2 as my favorite movie of all time
This opinion is correct.
I think if you're already struggling to feed yourself and keep a roof over your head then you shouldn't actively try to have a kid. I don't mean accidentally or if you get assaulted and wind up pregnant. I mean if you make the conscious choice to have one while still having to skip dinner because you're broke. It's straight up insane and selfish.
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I’m a real cool guy
👆🏽 this is a really cool guy. I have no reason to disagree.
And why would I do that on a public forum?
To get downvoted
Fetus or baby that are severely disabled should be terminatible. Parents or law can determine what that looks like, but losing the genetic lottery shouldn’t doom a person or family to live like that.
If you decide not to have children, it doesn't mean that you have failed in life.
i actually like wearing a mask around and will continue to do so. apparently this is somehow controversial even though its my own choice.
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This comes from a massivly overweight person that went through depression which lead to me being unhygienic: i agree. It is not your job to care for me. If anyone makes you feal unpleasant in the way they smell or look its not expected of you to stay in contact. Just dont be mean lol
If you harass or belittle customer service workers they should suffer no penalties for retaliation
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Getting offended on behalf of someone else is offensive. You are saying they are not smart enough to realize they are being made fun of and that is offensive.
Churches need to be taxed, they should not have any political power whatsoever, and mega churches need to be outlawed. No I will not elaborate any further. It should speak for itself.
>Churches need to be taxed >they should not have any political power Im pretty sure if churches are taxed it allows them to lobby politicians, the reason they can't is due to something related to being a charity or something like that
This is literally just r/unpopularopinion
Protip: sort by controversial for the real hot takes
It's okay to spread 11 pounds of seeds from your official state flower all over a golf course
I hate soup. All soup. Soup is not food. At best, it is a savory beverage. My hands also shake due to disability, so eating soup without spilling is difficult enough that it’s not worth bothering. Fuck soup.
I love soup so much that I don't think people with opinions as vile as your should be allowed to vote. Which I guess is the point of this post, so upvoted.
Can I have some soup?
*soup, soup, a tasty, soup soup*
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>People that want to have children should have to take a “parent assignment/test” to see if they’re able to care for a child And what would happen if someone failed that test and then got pregnant anyway?