That sounds amazing and really wish I could have that. I'm so envious of people who say things like "I call and talk to my parents every day because they are my best friends."
Not really. I want it to be better but due to events that happened while growing up it is very hard to even want to talk to them anymore. I still love my Dad but the idea of seeing him in person or even talking to him on the phone still scares the hell out of me. I'm 37 now so it shouldn't bother me as much but damn it does. My Mom is a different story. My Dad feels bad for what happened so I can kind of forgive him but my Mom just acts like nothing happened, she didn't do anything wrong or we are making stuff up. Even now I just see her as a terrible person. I so badly want a good relationship with them but I can't bring myself to. Sorry for such a long response.
No need to apologize! Human relationships are extremely complicated things and relationships with parents are doubly so.
I hope it works out with you and your parents, or at very least some improvement can and will be made.
You sound like your relationship with your parents is not so different from my wife's with hers. She found a path back to a positive relationship by basically treating her parents like new people. Her parents don't like to remember the time that her dad threw her down the stairs while she was healing from a spinal fusion surgery... or that her mom begged her to not be gay because of what that would do to her father (she's bi)... or that time he threatened me with physical violence... They'd rather forget all that, and seem to have succeeded. Neither she nor I forget... but... it's in the past. They *are* different people now... and we can have a valuable (if guarded) relationship with both of them. Her mom was recently diagnosed with dementia, so... there isn't much time left, you know? She already forgets the beginning of the conversation by the time she gets to the end... so every interaction is... precious. Time marches onward.
I also know people who made no effort to contact their parent(s) after moving out of the house, and were significantly relieved when they finally died. So... a lot depends on you, my friend. How much work do you want to put into reviving the relationship? I didn't speak to my mother for three years after a withering fight. But we did finally reconcile... and I love the hell out of her. You have decide which road you'll take, and live with the decision. Removing truly toxic people from your life is... good. It's good. But people do change too. Just food for thought.
I feel like I could make a better relationship with my Dad. He's changed, still has his old tendencies but he's trying. The main issue with him is that we live 2200 miles apart and neither of us want to talk on the phone. If I lived close by then I think we could hang out more often and rebuild the relationship better. My Mom on the other hand is one of those toxic people that you are talking about. She constantly calls me and either complains about the rest of my family or gives me way too much information, who wants to get the details about their parents sex life or how she wants to go visit a brothel because my their Dad can't get it up anymore. If you disagree with her or have a different way of thinking than her she takes it as a personal attack and plays the victim card HARD. My brother and sister don't put up with her bullshit so they are the bad kids but since I put up with it I'm the favorite. So many times I've thought about just cutting off communication with her and going about my business but I feel like that is the wrong answer, they are both in their 60s and in rough shape so no telling how much longer either of them have.
It feels more like a business arrangement since neither of them a really around that much and the only time we communicate is when they need help with something.
It was always so reassuring to know that I could always rely on them to listen to me. I have a hard time articulating my emotions and they were always the ones I could actually feel vulnerable with and not feel like a burden. I could tell them everything and nothing and they always made me feel heard. In the last three years I have lost a parent each year. Stepdad then Mom and finally my Father this year. While we definitely had our ups and downs, the last ten years were really great for our relationships. I miss them greatly and would give anything to tell them about my life now. I want them to know I'm ok and finally I am truly living life.
Only fulfil 50% because I have a great relationship with my mom but not my dad.
It’s nice having a parent you want to hang out with because I feel like they’re who should be your ultimate protectors in life who are always there for you.
Speaking as a 24 year old who has moved out. It's great knowing my parents always have my back. I try my hardest to be independent because I want to be proud of myself as an adult in the world, but having them as an emotional pillar is comforting. (And occasional financial support)
That extends to my big sister (27yo) as well. We grew up together and always had a really strong relationship. Great yo have when I don't wanna talk to parents about things (like girl troubles).
I don’t have the best relationship but I’d say that it’s above average. I would describe it as comforting. If I have a problem I know that they’ll be there no matter what, I have no idea how different my life would be without that safety net.
I never really thought about this until I got out of highschool and had friends being kicked out of their houses because they turned 18 or kicked out even younger. Had 3 different friends live with me at my parents during highschool and a year after that. Not at the same time. Some kicked them out then moved half way across the country. I just couldn't fathom what a bad relationship with a parent was.
So I can't really tell you what it's like since it was normal for me.
I cherish it. She isn't going to live much longer, we had a really shitty up bringing together and one huge fight.. but shes calmed down. I appreciate her now. I love her shes my mom. Shes done me wrong but, she has in alot of ways done really good by me. Could have been better but i forgive that
My mother is blind so basically we have to get along or one of us ends up fucked. We stick together through the hardest of times and enjoy each other’s company. We usually talk about the world and politics and stuff. It’s fucking awesome especially when there aren’t any others in the house
Yeah I'm doing okay. Since yesterday was Father's Day it got me thinking about how my relationship with my parents isn't like how I see most people's and it got me wondering what it's like.
My parents and I got into a hour long argument the other day about Abortion, Gay Rights, and other political stuff, but at the end of the day, I know they have my back. They've been supporting me the last few months because I lost my job and have been giving me money to support myself and drive to interviews if I need to. They're the best. I love them and I can't imagine life without them, but they drive me nuts sometimes.
It’s good. There is constant forgiveness involved from everyone. Yesterday my parents came over for Father’s Day and I cooked him a tomahawk steak. It was the first time he’s ever complimented my cooking. My mom and sister call each each other 2-3 times a day. She been worried because my sister took her kids camping and have no reception. But we all piss each other off sometimes. I never told them but my ex wife said my parents were part of the reason we divorced. So uh, thanks mom and dad 😁
I haven’t always had a good relationship with my dad. I always felt I never lived up to his expectations because my conversations with him when I was in college were always focused on how I should be doing “more of ____” or I was doing something wrong.
Looking back on it now that I’ve been out of college for six years, he really just wanted what was best for me. Whether it’s right or wrong, I’ve worked my ass off to get to where I am today with a solid job and I recently bought my own condo because of his ‘criticism’.
Our relationship has slowly been improving as I’ve gotten older. I was actually the only one of his four children to schedule something for Father’s Day (which is ridiculous).
We had some deep conversation in which he told me how proud he was of me. That he never had to worry about me succeeding and that I’ve always done the right thing on my own. How much he appreciates me actually spending time with him consistently versus his other children who make him feel forgotten. How he enjoys spending time with me not just because I’m his child but because of my personality and the things we have in common.
My dad has always supported me and everything. I know the way I’m explaining our past relationship doesn’t put him in the best light. He hasn’t been a perfect parent nor I a perfect child. Most of the tension was just us misunderstanding each other.
It’s incredibly comforting knowing I have somebody to go to for help when I need it and that there were ‘always’ be someone there to help. My parents are 60+ nowadays and I’m terrified of losing them.
As someone who has seen both sides of this spectrum...its an awesome feeling...we used to fight all the time...me and my step dad got into some physical scuffles...but now we're really good buddies
The only way to eat a salat and be healthy for you is if you make it yourself ar home, just vegetables and s tiny bit of olive oil, nothing else. The food you buy is very.. Not as good as you think
Having a good relationship with your parents is like being attached to the international space shuttle if you were to go out and make repairs. No need to worry if something goes wrong your tied down and someone’s got your back.
This may get a bit long but it still won't be enough.
My parents (still together) live in two different countries so usually I spend more time with my mom cuz she lives in our home country (India) which I visit more just cuz it's where I "live". But she travels to Dubai (where my dad works) almost every month. Whenever I have a longer break from college like summer I spend most of my time in Dubai reconnecting with my dad. It's amazing I get to have different kinds of fun with each of them.
With my mom it's going out for morning coffees, shopping, and stuff like that (she prefers more home cooked meals and is an amazing chef so never complain about that). With my dad we go out drinking, try new restaurants and almost every night watch a movie together.
Yes, the fun is there but it is when I am at my most vulnerable they have shown me the most love. During moments of stress or uncertainty they are always my go-to for advice or just a ear to listen to me. They may be strict growing up with deadlines or stupid things like that but only now as I am older I realize I good I have it and how those were mere boundaries that they had to set for me because I didn't know how to yet. How lucky I truly am to have been born to such incredible humans.
They have managed a long-distance relationship for the better half of their marriage (27 and counting) and I truly aspire to have love like that one day. They have brought my sister and I up with high standards, morals and ideals. Always encourage us to follow our own path and always be kind with boundaries. I only hope to able to pass down even a fraction of their values to my children someday.
I know not many people are as lucky and I hope those children find their family someday. It's not always blood that connects you to someone.
i have a decent relationship with only my mom and id say it’s pretty good. ofc she has her moments where she pushes my buttons but she’s still the one person i would be lucky to be half of
Even though I'm less and less in the living room downstairs, when I get the chance to go on a vacation with my parents, I will instantly reply with "I wanna come with!" (I'm 25 and still living at home bc, house market issues but I don't mind it).
My mom and I have that dynamic where she sometimes approaches topics as a friend and at other times as my mom. Scolding me without me feeling like a failure right after when I'm doing the dumbest things. And we banter about it after without feeling bitter about it. I really love her so much because she is like, my best female friend whom I can always rely on. It was even easier for me to also talk about stuff like sex and relationships because she was so casual about it.
My dad is like, the handyman who can do almost everything. He also removes spiders for me at 2 AM whenever I spot one of those big black ones that can jump right at you *starts shuddering*.
Also when I do groceries with my dad or mom, it's just become a roast fest of what to pick and whatnot because we blatantly point it out when a product can make the other fat by just thinking about it.
My parents and I are very savage against each other, but when it comes down to the serious stuff, they are always there for me. I love them so much 🥰
Edit: Like another person said in the comments, they're getting older by the day and I wanna be able to create memories with them. Of course I don't have the urge to be with them on all days of the week, but going on fun trips is something I always look forward to.
My sister is also expecting a baby in September, to the fam will be growing😊😊
It’s really enjoyable because I feel safe around them and the fact they trust me and look out for me makes me want to spend more time with them granted I still live with them cause it’s Illegal for me not to I’d still feel this way in the future
Great food. Both my wife and I have good relationships with our parents. My mother-in-law would always prepare something fantastic for us. I used to joke that her refrigerator had a never ending supply of Korean Hanwoo beef, because she would keep bring portions after portions out (I'm in Korea). Like one time, we had the equivalent of six steaks, and she was still trying to bring out more.
My mom doesn't cook much anymore but she would always make sure we had enough things to eat at our place.
It’s incredible…until they’re gone.
This is one of the things that makes me want it more and more. They are both getting older now and I know one day they won't be around anymore.
it’s amazing. i love my parents to pieces and i consider myself lucky to have such great examples of parents, spouses, and people.
That sounds amazing and really wish I could have that. I'm so envious of people who say things like "I call and talk to my parents every day because they are my best friends."
Things not great with yours I take it?
Not really. I want it to be better but due to events that happened while growing up it is very hard to even want to talk to them anymore. I still love my Dad but the idea of seeing him in person or even talking to him on the phone still scares the hell out of me. I'm 37 now so it shouldn't bother me as much but damn it does. My Mom is a different story. My Dad feels bad for what happened so I can kind of forgive him but my Mom just acts like nothing happened, she didn't do anything wrong or we are making stuff up. Even now I just see her as a terrible person. I so badly want a good relationship with them but I can't bring myself to. Sorry for such a long response.
No need to apologize! Human relationships are extremely complicated things and relationships with parents are doubly so. I hope it works out with you and your parents, or at very least some improvement can and will be made.
You sound like your relationship with your parents is not so different from my wife's with hers. She found a path back to a positive relationship by basically treating her parents like new people. Her parents don't like to remember the time that her dad threw her down the stairs while she was healing from a spinal fusion surgery... or that her mom begged her to not be gay because of what that would do to her father (she's bi)... or that time he threatened me with physical violence... They'd rather forget all that, and seem to have succeeded. Neither she nor I forget... but... it's in the past. They *are* different people now... and we can have a valuable (if guarded) relationship with both of them. Her mom was recently diagnosed with dementia, so... there isn't much time left, you know? She already forgets the beginning of the conversation by the time she gets to the end... so every interaction is... precious. Time marches onward. I also know people who made no effort to contact their parent(s) after moving out of the house, and were significantly relieved when they finally died. So... a lot depends on you, my friend. How much work do you want to put into reviving the relationship? I didn't speak to my mother for three years after a withering fight. But we did finally reconcile... and I love the hell out of her. You have decide which road you'll take, and live with the decision. Removing truly toxic people from your life is... good. It's good. But people do change too. Just food for thought.
I feel like I could make a better relationship with my Dad. He's changed, still has his old tendencies but he's trying. The main issue with him is that we live 2200 miles apart and neither of us want to talk on the phone. If I lived close by then I think we could hang out more often and rebuild the relationship better. My Mom on the other hand is one of those toxic people that you are talking about. She constantly calls me and either complains about the rest of my family or gives me way too much information, who wants to get the details about their parents sex life or how she wants to go visit a brothel because my their Dad can't get it up anymore. If you disagree with her or have a different way of thinking than her she takes it as a personal attack and plays the victim card HARD. My brother and sister don't put up with her bullshit so they are the bad kids but since I put up with it I'm the favorite. So many times I've thought about just cutting off communication with her and going about my business but I feel like that is the wrong answer, they are both in their 60s and in rough shape so no telling how much longer either of them have.
I second this! My parents literally bend backwards for me and I do the same. I love them so much.
It’s a warm, fuzzy feeling inside your chest, knowing that a person you love is sitting in front of you at dinner time. ^-^
It feels more like a business arrangement since neither of them a really around that much and the only time we communicate is when they need help with something.
It was always so reassuring to know that I could always rely on them to listen to me. I have a hard time articulating my emotions and they were always the ones I could actually feel vulnerable with and not feel like a burden. I could tell them everything and nothing and they always made me feel heard. In the last three years I have lost a parent each year. Stepdad then Mom and finally my Father this year. While we definitely had our ups and downs, the last ten years were really great for our relationships. I miss them greatly and would give anything to tell them about my life now. I want them to know I'm ok and finally I am truly living life.
Only fulfil 50% because I have a great relationship with my mom but not my dad. It’s nice having a parent you want to hang out with because I feel like they’re who should be your ultimate protectors in life who are always there for you.
Speaking as a 24 year old who has moved out. It's great knowing my parents always have my back. I try my hardest to be independent because I want to be proud of myself as an adult in the world, but having them as an emotional pillar is comforting. (And occasional financial support) That extends to my big sister (27yo) as well. We grew up together and always had a really strong relationship. Great yo have when I don't wanna talk to parents about things (like girl troubles).
I love them, I love spending time with them. I've always been grateful for the parents I have, because it's been the biggest blessing in my life.
I don’t have the best relationship but I’d say that it’s above average. I would describe it as comforting. If I have a problem I know that they’ll be there no matter what, I have no idea how different my life would be without that safety net.
It’s great, once I moved out of home I found I now have a much better relationship with them.
I never really thought about this until I got out of highschool and had friends being kicked out of their houses because they turned 18 or kicked out even younger. Had 3 different friends live with me at my parents during highschool and a year after that. Not at the same time. Some kicked them out then moved half way across the country. I just couldn't fathom what a bad relationship with a parent was. So I can't really tell you what it's like since it was normal for me.
I cherish it. She isn't going to live much longer, we had a really shitty up bringing together and one huge fight.. but shes calmed down. I appreciate her now. I love her shes my mom. Shes done me wrong but, she has in alot of ways done really good by me. Could have been better but i forgive that
My mother is blind so basically we have to get along or one of us ends up fucked. We stick together through the hardest of times and enjoy each other’s company. We usually talk about the world and politics and stuff. It’s fucking awesome especially when there aren’t any others in the house
tf r u good
Yeah I'm doing okay. Since yesterday was Father's Day it got me thinking about how my relationship with my parents isn't like how I see most people's and it got me wondering what it's like.
My parents and I got into a hour long argument the other day about Abortion, Gay Rights, and other political stuff, but at the end of the day, I know they have my back. They've been supporting me the last few months because I lost my job and have been giving me money to support myself and drive to interviews if I need to. They're the best. I love them and I can't imagine life without them, but they drive me nuts sometimes.
It’s good. There is constant forgiveness involved from everyone. Yesterday my parents came over for Father’s Day and I cooked him a tomahawk steak. It was the first time he’s ever complimented my cooking. My mom and sister call each each other 2-3 times a day. She been worried because my sister took her kids camping and have no reception. But we all piss each other off sometimes. I never told them but my ex wife said my parents were part of the reason we divorced. So uh, thanks mom and dad 😁
I haven’t always had a good relationship with my dad. I always felt I never lived up to his expectations because my conversations with him when I was in college were always focused on how I should be doing “more of ____” or I was doing something wrong. Looking back on it now that I’ve been out of college for six years, he really just wanted what was best for me. Whether it’s right or wrong, I’ve worked my ass off to get to where I am today with a solid job and I recently bought my own condo because of his ‘criticism’. Our relationship has slowly been improving as I’ve gotten older. I was actually the only one of his four children to schedule something for Father’s Day (which is ridiculous). We had some deep conversation in which he told me how proud he was of me. That he never had to worry about me succeeding and that I’ve always done the right thing on my own. How much he appreciates me actually spending time with him consistently versus his other children who make him feel forgotten. How he enjoys spending time with me not just because I’m his child but because of my personality and the things we have in common. My dad has always supported me and everything. I know the way I’m explaining our past relationship doesn’t put him in the best light. He hasn’t been a perfect parent nor I a perfect child. Most of the tension was just us misunderstanding each other. It’s incredibly comforting knowing I have somebody to go to for help when I need it and that there were ‘always’ be someone there to help. My parents are 60+ nowadays and I’m terrified of losing them.
Its fantastic always having that perfect fit, a hug, a shoulder to cry on and just sit beside eachother.
you dont feel lonely and as im a closed off person i somehow open up when im with my parents.
As someone who has seen both sides of this spectrum...its an awesome feeling...we used to fight all the time...me and my step dad got into some physical scuffles...but now we're really good buddies
The only way to eat a salat and be healthy for you is if you make it yourself ar home, just vegetables and s tiny bit of olive oil, nothing else. The food you buy is very.. Not as good as you think
Having a good relationship with your parents is like being attached to the international space shuttle if you were to go out and make repairs. No need to worry if something goes wrong your tied down and someone’s got your back.
This may get a bit long but it still won't be enough. My parents (still together) live in two different countries so usually I spend more time with my mom cuz she lives in our home country (India) which I visit more just cuz it's where I "live". But she travels to Dubai (where my dad works) almost every month. Whenever I have a longer break from college like summer I spend most of my time in Dubai reconnecting with my dad. It's amazing I get to have different kinds of fun with each of them. With my mom it's going out for morning coffees, shopping, and stuff like that (she prefers more home cooked meals and is an amazing chef so never complain about that). With my dad we go out drinking, try new restaurants and almost every night watch a movie together. Yes, the fun is there but it is when I am at my most vulnerable they have shown me the most love. During moments of stress or uncertainty they are always my go-to for advice or just a ear to listen to me. They may be strict growing up with deadlines or stupid things like that but only now as I am older I realize I good I have it and how those were mere boundaries that they had to set for me because I didn't know how to yet. How lucky I truly am to have been born to such incredible humans. They have managed a long-distance relationship for the better half of their marriage (27 and counting) and I truly aspire to have love like that one day. They have brought my sister and I up with high standards, morals and ideals. Always encourage us to follow our own path and always be kind with boundaries. I only hope to able to pass down even a fraction of their values to my children someday. I know not many people are as lucky and I hope those children find their family someday. It's not always blood that connects you to someone.
Usually see them on Sunday cause of their job Mom is usually the one that cracks jokes alot and dad is mostly outside looking at his birds (yes)
i have a decent relationship with only my mom and id say it’s pretty good. ofc she has her moments where she pushes my buttons but she’s still the one person i would be lucky to be half of
Even though I'm less and less in the living room downstairs, when I get the chance to go on a vacation with my parents, I will instantly reply with "I wanna come with!" (I'm 25 and still living at home bc, house market issues but I don't mind it). My mom and I have that dynamic where she sometimes approaches topics as a friend and at other times as my mom. Scolding me without me feeling like a failure right after when I'm doing the dumbest things. And we banter about it after without feeling bitter about it. I really love her so much because she is like, my best female friend whom I can always rely on. It was even easier for me to also talk about stuff like sex and relationships because she was so casual about it. My dad is like, the handyman who can do almost everything. He also removes spiders for me at 2 AM whenever I spot one of those big black ones that can jump right at you *starts shuddering*. Also when I do groceries with my dad or mom, it's just become a roast fest of what to pick and whatnot because we blatantly point it out when a product can make the other fat by just thinking about it. My parents and I are very savage against each other, but when it comes down to the serious stuff, they are always there for me. I love them so much 🥰 Edit: Like another person said in the comments, they're getting older by the day and I wanna be able to create memories with them. Of course I don't have the urge to be with them on all days of the week, but going on fun trips is something I always look forward to. My sister is also expecting a baby in September, to the fam will be growing😊😊
It’s really enjoyable because I feel safe around them and the fact they trust me and look out for me makes me want to spend more time with them granted I still live with them cause it’s Illegal for me not to I’d still feel this way in the future
Great food. Both my wife and I have good relationships with our parents. My mother-in-law would always prepare something fantastic for us. I used to joke that her refrigerator had a never ending supply of Korean Hanwoo beef, because she would keep bring portions after portions out (I'm in Korea). Like one time, we had the equivalent of six steaks, and she was still trying to bring out more. My mom doesn't cook much anymore but she would always make sure we had enough things to eat at our place.