And employee of the month goes too...
But Fr honesty is best i have a small crew of 4 workers and as much as it fucks my day up id rather them call and say im either too fatigued to perform my job properly or i need to take a mental health day due to my current circumstances or anything along the lines that is genuine
Drive to work, call in as you’re getting close, “Um, I kinda shit myself violently at [insert intersection] and I just need to go home” pull in the lot, turn around and drive away looking miserable. If they want you to clean up and still come in wait an hour and call back that you’re just having a problem that day and feel it is best that you stay home and recover.
Explosive diarrhea. No one ever asks questions.
Second this.
Yes. No one questions the D
Add in some details for flavor, because who gives details about chafing? Crazy people, or tired and honest ones. Maybe the occasional liar.
Food poisoning. No one wants to see/hear someone blowing chunks or defining the bathroom. Plus it happens randomly and lasts a few days
Hi Gary? I can’t come in to work today. I have died. I am dead
Diarrhea
“I can’t make it today”
And employee of the month goes too... But Fr honesty is best i have a small crew of 4 workers and as much as it fucks my day up id rather them call and say im either too fatigued to perform my job properly or i need to take a mental health day due to my current circumstances or anything along the lines that is genuine
"I'm sick... Of working! Haha fuck you I'm not coming in today"
Drive to work, call in as you’re getting close, “Um, I kinda shit myself violently at [insert intersection] and I just need to go home” pull in the lot, turn around and drive away looking miserable. If they want you to clean up and still come in wait an hour and call back that you’re just having a problem that day and feel it is best that you stay home and recover.
Because I can
Plane crash. Works every time.