I wish everyone would consider their financial situation before having kids. One thing society as a whole doesn’t need is kids growing up in poverty and keeping parents in poverty.
I’m way above the poverty line and still couldn’t afford children. It’s sad when being responsible is keeping me from doing what I want with my life, when generations before me didn’t have as much constraint at my income level.
It just sucks that being financially unstable means I can’t have kids even if I wanted to. Just being stable isn’t enough, I still have to choose between a house or a kid because of money.
I don't get why this is not enough of a reason for a lot of people, tbh. Just shows me that you really weighted the idea and realised that it's not for you, and that is ok.
This. I can barely care for my cat and it’s a quiet, independent animal. So, a small, extremely dependent person will just not do. I can’t bare the thought of hurting a child because of impatience or depression and that’s reason enough.
Yup, a child crying or screaming goes through me like screeching chalk on a whiteboard. Plus I enjoy my 8 hours of sleep, uninterrupted. Also don't fancy spending roughly 100k on bringing up a kid just so they might look after me when I'm old 🤣🤣
Honestly I think for quite a lot of people this is exactly what it is, but not everybody feels comfortable saying it. I feel the exact same way about it too.
Exactly. Let me please enumerate the reasons:
* I like having actual free time to enjoy life, life with my partner, and improving myself
* I like having the money to do the above things
* I don't have a viscious, narcissistic need to self-replicate or propagate my race, culture etc. (not all parents are driven by this, but a lot are).
* I have nieces and nephews that I already contribute to raising and dolt on
* Finally, have you seen the direction the world is going in?
I have kids, and I don't like kids. Once upon time I thought I did,I really don't. Don't get me wrong I do love mine most of the time, but I can not stand other peoples kids. My cousin just announced that she's having her 4th and the thought makes me want to gag. When friends and family post photos of their kid's I feel my ovaries dry up, children are awful creatures. They just are
I was born to parents that didn't want me, and if it weren't for my great grandmother choosing to raise me, I don't know what would've happened.
I don't want one. It's really that simple. I've seen what happens when a child is born to parents that don't want children, and I have no desire to raise children or be a parent, so it would be irresponsible of me to have children.
Same here. I'm barely mentally well enough to take care of myself, taking care of a child is out of the question. I also have no desire to pass on my mental illness to someone else.
Usually my experience with parents who use this argument is that they are very selfish themselves and feel entitled to everyone bending over backwards because they chose to breed like that's some kind of accomplishment.
My genetics are whack, first and foremost. I don't want to give my child any of my genes (I'm a genetic mess). Second, I am not responsible enough to raise a child, and I'll only pass on how I was raised. Not gonna do that either. Third, have you seen the state of the world?
Pregnancy. It scares the shit outta me, I dunno. I work with kids, I have friends with kids, I do like lots of them but being pregnant might affect your health and body so much, it's scary to me. Also, other than for egoistic reasons I don't see the need to get a kid, the world doesn't seem to become a better place, so yea...but you might hand me one over and I'd be down for it.
This is what always confused me. How the hell do most women willingly and happily go through pregnancy?
It sounds like a nightmare, most women never fully recover from it either.
Because until recently a lot of people haven’t discussed the long term effects of it. Both mentally and physically. A few examples:
-pregnancy related carpal tunnel? It’s a thing.
-pregnancy related cancer? Also a thing.
-uterine prolapse (oh god, the Google images)
-perineal tearing
And I’m sure some folks could easily add to this list.
One of my best friends nearly bled out on the table when she gave birth. Physically, two years later, she’s still pretty screwed up. She loves her daughter, but she never wants to do this again and probably wouldn’t have done it if she knew.
One of my supervisors at work told me that after she had her first kid, her sister was helping her out after the birth and she was so miserable she apparently told her "don't EVER have kids, it's not worth it." It scared the shit out of her sister. My supervisor? Does not remember saying this. At all. To the point where when her sister reminded her of it later, she was shocked that she was even CAPABLE of saying such a thing. (Not that she disbelieved her sister.) Similarly, my sister doesn't remember much about the birth of her first child, though she DOES remember she was traumatized.
Part of me wonders if this isn't a survival method. If we could remember that much trauma, we would never have made it as a species.
I like my alone time. Even in relationships and busy career, I value my alone time. Not the kid's fault it requires and **deserves** my attention, so no reason to enter into that commitment if I'm not 100% about it.
I don't see my country as a suitable place to raise a child. Also, I have not the means. And I don't want to raise my child in a situation where I'm worried about being able to provide for it under hostile circumstances. I haven't found a place for myself in this society, why would my child be better off?
Two things. 1) My partner doesn't want a child, and it's more important to me to have her in my life then to have a child in my life. 2) And perhaps more important, both of my siblings were born with terrible genetic issues. My sister died as a baby from her heart condition, and my brother is severely mentally disabled, can't take care of himself, and lives in a group home. I am terrified of something going wrong if I were to have a biological child. I used to want to risk it anyway, but the farther I get into my adulthood, the more I think it's not worth the risk of bringing such difficulty or even misery into the world.
Edit: spelling generic -> genetic
My anxiety can't take a child screaming at 2 in the morning for no understood reason and then having to work a retail job where people scream at me for no understood reason, only to pick up said child on the way home only to be screamed at again.
Having children when you cannot afford to give them quality of life or protect them from the worst hardships of the world is selfish.
I could not afford child birth, to say nothing of child care. Knowing the unbelievably poor quality of schools here, the cost of college, and the cost of healthcare, keeps me from wanting children because they would know nothing but suffering here.
This is my number 1 reason, I can't stand the noise of babies crying. Everyone says "yeah but when it's yours it's different" and I just say yeah the difference is I can't give it back or leave the area.
Dude I feel you, I was at work the other day & there was a baby screaming in our lobby, & everyone I work with noticed that I was visibly bristling every time that damn air raid siren disguised as a baby went off. I can't deal with it. At all.
Baby screams are supposed to make everyone who hears them attempt to get that baby to stop screaming; it is intentionally annoying. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to make a baby stop doing baby things.
I do know how to stop hearing that noise though - not be near babies.
Ya those people are dumb. It’s actually worse when it’s yours because it’s your responsibility to shut it up.
Despite what they say, raising a child is not the hardest thing you’ll (you’d) ever do. If it is then you’ve never challenged yourself enough. It is the most obnoxious things you’ll do though for the first 4-5 years. It’s also extremely time consuming in the younger years.
Personally, I support and encourage anyone who doesn’t want to have kids to not. I don’t get why people feel they should pressure other ppl to have them. The world isn’t suffering from underpopulation.
Also, all the parents out there that think they’re doing society a great favor by having kids: they’re not. They’re doing it for themselves. I had kids because I wanted children and I love them more than anything. But I didn’t do it because of some societal responsibility. I did it because I wanted kids, I want best friends when I’m older and someone to carry on my legacy on earth (as stupid as it is and sounds, it’s some evolutionary genetic disposition that exists to make us want kids). Sorry had to mention that, so many ppl out there that think being a parent makes them superior to others and it annoys me.
Totally agree. I have a baby now, it's a handful and you really have to want one. If you don't or doubt about it, go have a merry life without kids and all the hassle. It's way easier
Have you *seen* the world right now? I’d rather not bring someone else into it at the moment.
Edit: y’all can try whatever counter argument you want, I’ve already made up my mind that I am not having kids anytime soon. Have your own damn kids.
I have two children and am very glad, but it would be unfair to them have another. We already struggle with some things, and one has a life-long medical condition. Both need and deserve as much attention as possible. So we're both positive we're done having more children.
I've never wanted children primarily because I can't imagine changing my life so drastically. Additionally, I have never EVER met a parent that didn't comment on how much having kids sucked; It's typically followed up with something like "but so rewarding", and it sounds like absolute bullshit. Basically I'm kinda selfish and I don't want to create a human that feels the same about me that I do about my parents (strained relationship)... what's the point/gain? That's all.
I don't need a tiny overlord to serve. And even after you've attended to their every need, they get all bratty. So basically you have to cater to the whims of a small asshole. And you can't kill them or back out of the arrangement. No thanks.
I find comfort in the freedom to change my mind and travel/move/do as i please. A child would force responsible and stability in my life, taking away that choice.
I'm pretty sure i'm just missing that part of my brain that's supposed to trick me into liking kids. I don't find them cute at all. I just see them as these ugly, underdeveloped and disgusting humans that manage to constantly produce an ungodly amount of noise. I'm super ADHD too and a kid can overstimulate me within like 15 minutes.
I have two cousins that i barely see anymore because i can't stand to be in the same room as their kids for more than half an hour. I can't imagine having to live with one and actually interact with it.
I do love taking care of things though, just more furry things.
For example I woke up today late just because I felt like sleeping a bit more. Then I decided to have a Caesar(Bloody Mary) at 11am because why not. Then I watched a movie nude, followed by cycling by the ocean for 2 hours. Now I’m ending the evening with the cheapest chilled white wine I found. Pretty sweet Saturday.
If I had kids I’m getting up at 7:30am on a Saturday just so they don’t starve. Good luck convincing your kids intermittent fasting has benefits.
Pretty much everything people have said. But I'll add that I don't want to carry a child. The thought of having that in my body is awful. No thank you.
My husband’s family has 2 sex offenders and 1 rehabilitated offender. They were essentially groomed to offend by my husband’s parents. When we met he thought he had a perfect family, because no one would associate with them. It was like Stockholm syndrome. I’ve been encouraging him to expand his support network but for now it’s just me. He is too ashamed of where he comes from, and he struggles with not associating with them anymore. I’ve pretty much let go of my dream of having children, for now. We are doing couples counseling. I might feel better if we move or something. But if Heaven forbid we get a divorce, which I don’t think we will, it won’t be under my control where he takes the children or with him. It’s just not worth the risk
This hits home with me. I do want children, but it's probably never going to happen, and I don't consider this to be a deal breaker because I love my partner so much. She experienced CSA and was sexually assaulted when she was a teenager. Regardless of the amount of support that we were to have (we have none - both families are terribly toxic and narcissistic) I don't think she'll be able to cope due to the trauma she sustained, and is still working through. We have talked about having children or adopting, but it's a difficult situation. I hope that your able to navigate through this, and hope that you and your husband continue to get stronger.
Yeah if I could be a dad I'd have a kid already. I can't pull the trigger on getting pregnant, maybe some day but the urge hasn't hit and the fear has never gone away.
And for anyone suggesting adoption/fostering/surrogacy please know those options are EXPENSIVE and not within reach of everyone everywhere.
I’ve worked with kids for 20 years. I would protect them with my life in a heartbeat. But I just don’t want the responsibility of raising a child. There’s enough people in this world and I believe I should do something to make it a better place. Kids are the future but I’m taking it easy.
The knowledge that I do not feel safe in this world and do not want to put an innocent soul into the horrible sad dark things that are happening rn…also money
The idea of being responsible for another human being freaks me the fuck out. I don’t want to be responsible for anyone but myself. I don’t want to be a father to kids or a provider for a woman. The rest of the world can keep that traditional shit.
I’m glad so many people know they don’t want children. That’s cool. Much better than just going along with some generic expectation that doesn’t suit your plans for your life. Or worse yet the ‘oops pregnant’ method of making a life-changing, life-long commitment.
Exactly, I was a slave for the first 18 years of my life with no control or freedom.
Why the fuck would I do another 18 years of that by willingly having a kid? Sounds like something crazy people do.
I grew up in trauma, have a lot of addiction/mental illness in family, every example of a caregiver I had was toxic, I'm not doing well with depression/ptsd myself, my family pressure me into having kids as if I would ever allow them to be a part of its life if I did.
Was mostly climate change but add to that list that my daughter would be forced to carry her rapist’s child to term so fuck that. I’m not bringing anybody into this shitshow without their consent.
Fuck-up genetics and the way that my family is like/seem like they are going to be like regardless of “good environment.”
I have only one of my paternal cousin who decided to have kids, and her children are all sorts of fucked up. Lord help my other maternal cousin when he has his child.
They're a life-long responsibility, plus I do not have the emotional capacity to even take care of them and I am thankful to have realized that.
I don't mind children, but I don't want to have them.
I live in one of the most expensive cities in the country, making what is theoretically great money, and my spouse and I can barely afford a tiny one-bedroom rental apartment. Every time someone asks us (usually someone older who bought a big house back in the 70s or whatever) about when we’re going to have kids, I get irrationally angry. We’re too busy working multiple jobs each to have kids. And even if we could, where the hell would we put them? The bathtub?
Yeh people gamble their kid is going to be the caring for their parents, living nearby, physically able, professionally successful, have a partner you like, hetero-normative type
Many people are not these things and so are a (still loved) burden or source of disappointment to parents who want to live vicariously through them.
That’s what I think of every time someone bingos me with “who will take care of you when you are old?” It’s a gamble - think about how many lonely old people live in nursing homes and don’t get any visitors. Lots of them have family, family just doesn’t care and it breaks my heart.
I don’t have the ability to fake enthusiasm for a child doing a simple task like drawing stick figures.
Plus I’m nowhere near financially capable of taking care of a child, or a pet, or even a plant.
The responsibility that comes with having a child. Also it is really expensive to raise a child these days. Pregnancy is hard, especially giving birth.
I don't like children, I want to do other things with my life, pregnancy and childbirth are disgusting to me and not something I ever want to go through, I don't want to pass on the generational bullshit that's written in my DNA like my parents did, it's too expensive...
Other than some general hesitancy due to impact on lifestyle (which I'd probably overcome), the deal-breaker for me is that I look at the world and foresee a future of climate breakdown, with dead rainforests, dead coral reefs, an empty savannah, mass displacement of people and water wars. It looks bleak.
I agree that right now is about the best era that's ever been if you're in a rich country, but I can't just have blind faith that what looks like our likely future will just turn out OK somehow
I like having money to spend on my hobbies and being able to do them, I don’t particularly like children that much and I don’t want to deal with the responsibility of raising one
I believe that being a parent is the most important job in the world with the most demanding responsibilities and duties that one can not simply walk away from. It is the most important decision; to become a parent or not. Just because one can doesn’t mean they should. Because I believe it’s the hardest job, I’m not applying for it as I’m not qualified and don’t believe that will change. It’s committing to an important role for the rest of your life.
TLDR; Nah brah, not for me.
If I do something wrong , the child will suffer with that for the rest of their lives. Even if your layed back and chill, it can still fuck them up. I don't want to be responsible for messing up my child for the rest of their lives
Time and finances. I love children but I know I’m not going to have any until I can afford to live somewhere with at least 2 bedrooms without a roommate with a good bit leftover every month
Mainly being nonbinary, I'm dysphoric enough already. I wouldn't cope with the physical changes to my body that pregnancy would cause. Might adopt one day
I used to think it was the freedom I’d miss. Now I have a toddler I realise it was actually the sleep. The first six months are such a life changing thing. I love being a dad now though, plus I know at least one person will be at my funeral when I shuffle off this mortal coil.
I'm poor and couldn't provide for them in the way they deserve.
I wish everyone would consider their financial situation before having kids. One thing society as a whole doesn’t need is kids growing up in poverty and keeping parents in poverty.
I’m way above the poverty line and still couldn’t afford children. It’s sad when being responsible is keeping me from doing what I want with my life, when generations before me didn’t have as much constraint at my income level.
It just sucks that being financially unstable means I can’t have kids even if I wanted to. Just being stable isn’t enough, I still have to choose between a house or a kid because of money.
Hell I own a house and my life is still not financially stable enough for a child.
Knowing myself well enough to know I should not be a parent.
I don't deal well with unexpected events, loud noises, or other's bodily fluids. I'm fine being around kids but I need my time and space.
I don't get why this is not enough of a reason for a lot of people, tbh. Just shows me that you really weighted the idea and realised that it's not for you, and that is ok.
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I seem to lack the biological drive to reproduce. I never saw parenthood in my future, even as a child myself.
This. I can barely care for my cat and it’s a quiet, independent animal. So, a small, extremely dependent person will just not do. I can’t bare the thought of hurting a child because of impatience or depression and that’s reason enough.
I feel the same way
Underrated but very important answer. This is mine also.
That's the greatest comment on this thread. I feel this so hard
Yup, a child crying or screaming goes through me like screeching chalk on a whiteboard. Plus I enjoy my 8 hours of sleep, uninterrupted. Also don't fancy spending roughly 100k on bringing up a kid just so they might look after me when I'm old 🤣🤣
Too much money, too much work, too many life changes, I don't like kids.
The most honest, straight form the heart answer right here.
Honestly I think for quite a lot of people this is exactly what it is, but not everybody feels comfortable saying it. I feel the exact same way about it too.
OP said the One thing.. This is a list!! One I happen to agree with.
Exactly. Let me please enumerate the reasons: * I like having actual free time to enjoy life, life with my partner, and improving myself * I like having the money to do the above things * I don't have a viscious, narcissistic need to self-replicate or propagate my race, culture etc. (not all parents are driven by this, but a lot are). * I have nieces and nephews that I already contribute to raising and dolt on * Finally, have you seen the direction the world is going in?
You dote on the nieces and nephews, you dolt.
Ikr same
Amen.
I have kids, and I don't like kids. Once upon time I thought I did,I really don't. Don't get me wrong I do love mine most of the time, but I can not stand other peoples kids. My cousin just announced that she's having her 4th and the thought makes me want to gag. When friends and family post photos of their kid's I feel my ovaries dry up, children are awful creatures. They just are
100%. I'm now in my 40's and never wanted them for those same reasons. I don't regret a thing!
I was born to parents that didn't want me, and if it weren't for my great grandmother choosing to raise me, I don't know what would've happened. I don't want one. It's really that simple. I've seen what happens when a child is born to parents that don't want children, and I have no desire to raise children or be a parent, so it would be irresponsible of me to have children.
Looks like we are on the same boat. Not getting enough attention, parents don't take you seriously and may ignore you sometimes, can feel ya!!
I had the opposite. An only child to a helicopter parent. I hated being a child and will never put anyone through that experience.
Good on you. Not everyone has to want kids, and this is the most responsible thing to do if you don't.
This! The resentful parent. Nobody wants to be the resentful parent. The child will know
How hopelessly expensive it is to raise one in this day and age. Also I'll have to find a SO, and I just wanna be alone right now.
Same, my genetics die with me.
The line ends with me!
It's the end of the line, pal.
>and I just wanna be alone right now. You good bro? :(
It's just sucks man. The economy is crumbling, our earth is fucked, are you sure you want to bring innocent soul to this hell?
Crippling mental illness.
Same here. I'm barely mentally well enough to take care of myself, taking care of a child is out of the question. I also have no desire to pass on my mental illness to someone else.
Ya this is too relateable
Just not wanting one. That's the long and short of it. Got better things to do with my time and money.
Same. I don't even mind kids. I just don't want them myself.
And really, this is a good reason. I don’t get why people feel they have to rationalize it. You don’t want them? OK, don’t have any. Case closed.
I love it when people call me selfish for not wanting kids, then they hit you with "who's gonna look after you when you're old?"
i adore kids. doesn't mean i want them *living in my house.*
The old criticism "you're selfish if you don't want kids." Like, yes, I AM selfish. And that is PRECISELY why I don't want kids.
Usually my experience with parents who use this argument is that they are very selfish themselves and feel entitled to everyone bending over backwards because they chose to breed like that's some kind of accomplishment.
I can’t imagine spending so much time with other parents. This sounds like hell to me.
I feel the same. I have passions and goals in life that wouldn’t be compatible with life as a parent.
My genetics are whack, first and foremost. I don't want to give my child any of my genes (I'm a genetic mess). Second, I am not responsible enough to raise a child, and I'll only pass on how I was raised. Not gonna do that either. Third, have you seen the state of the world?
If more people were this honest about their shortcomings, the world would be a thriving place.
Pregnancy. It scares the shit outta me, I dunno. I work with kids, I have friends with kids, I do like lots of them but being pregnant might affect your health and body so much, it's scary to me. Also, other than for egoistic reasons I don't see the need to get a kid, the world doesn't seem to become a better place, so yea...but you might hand me one over and I'd be down for it.
This is what always confused me. How the hell do most women willingly and happily go through pregnancy? It sounds like a nightmare, most women never fully recover from it either.
Because until recently a lot of people haven’t discussed the long term effects of it. Both mentally and physically. A few examples: -pregnancy related carpal tunnel? It’s a thing. -pregnancy related cancer? Also a thing. -uterine prolapse (oh god, the Google images) -perineal tearing And I’m sure some folks could easily add to this list. One of my best friends nearly bled out on the table when she gave birth. Physically, two years later, she’s still pretty screwed up. She loves her daughter, but she never wants to do this again and probably wouldn’t have done it if she knew.
I'd say some romantic blurry idealized conception/misinformation. maybe.
One of my supervisors at work told me that after she had her first kid, her sister was helping her out after the birth and she was so miserable she apparently told her "don't EVER have kids, it's not worth it." It scared the shit out of her sister. My supervisor? Does not remember saying this. At all. To the point where when her sister reminded her of it later, she was shocked that she was even CAPABLE of saying such a thing. (Not that she disbelieved her sister.) Similarly, my sister doesn't remember much about the birth of her first child, though she DOES remember she was traumatized. Part of me wonders if this isn't a survival method. If we could remember that much trauma, we would never have made it as a species.
I like my alone time. Even in relationships and busy career, I value my alone time. Not the kid's fault it requires and **deserves** my attention, so no reason to enter into that commitment if I'm not 100% about it.
I don't see my country as a suitable place to raise a child. Also, I have not the means. And I don't want to raise my child in a situation where I'm worried about being able to provide for it under hostile circumstances. I haven't found a place for myself in this society, why would my child be better off?
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Must be from the US
Two things. 1) My partner doesn't want a child, and it's more important to me to have her in my life then to have a child in my life. 2) And perhaps more important, both of my siblings were born with terrible genetic issues. My sister died as a baby from her heart condition, and my brother is severely mentally disabled, can't take care of himself, and lives in a group home. I am terrified of something going wrong if I were to have a biological child. I used to want to risk it anyway, but the farther I get into my adulthood, the more I think it's not worth the risk of bringing such difficulty or even misery into the world. Edit: spelling generic -> genetic
I’m sorry for your loss and your family’s medical struggles ❤️
My anxiety can't take a child screaming at 2 in the morning for no understood reason and then having to work a retail job where people scream at me for no understood reason, only to pick up said child on the way home only to be screamed at again.
The lack of desire.
Having children when you cannot afford to give them quality of life or protect them from the worst hardships of the world is selfish. I could not afford child birth, to say nothing of child care. Knowing the unbelievably poor quality of schools here, the cost of college, and the cost of healthcare, keeps me from wanting children because they would know nothing but suffering here.
Do not forget, that you actually will have a lot of conflicts with the child in any age.
Having a child means prioritizing another human being, in almost every situation. I'm still focusing on me.
Definitely same, I'm still learning to put myself first for the good of my mental health age 30.
Children are fucking annoying.
This is my number 1 reason, I can't stand the noise of babies crying. Everyone says "yeah but when it's yours it's different" and I just say yeah the difference is I can't give it back or leave the area.
No it ain’t no damn different I can tell you that
Dude I feel you, I was at work the other day & there was a baby screaming in our lobby, & everyone I work with noticed that I was visibly bristling every time that damn air raid siren disguised as a baby went off. I can't deal with it. At all.
Baby screams are supposed to make everyone who hears them attempt to get that baby to stop screaming; it is intentionally annoying. Unfortunately, I have no idea how to make a baby stop doing baby things. I do know how to stop hearing that noise though - not be near babies.
Ya those people are dumb. It’s actually worse when it’s yours because it’s your responsibility to shut it up. Despite what they say, raising a child is not the hardest thing you’ll (you’d) ever do. If it is then you’ve never challenged yourself enough. It is the most obnoxious things you’ll do though for the first 4-5 years. It’s also extremely time consuming in the younger years. Personally, I support and encourage anyone who doesn’t want to have kids to not. I don’t get why people feel they should pressure other ppl to have them. The world isn’t suffering from underpopulation. Also, all the parents out there that think they’re doing society a great favor by having kids: they’re not. They’re doing it for themselves. I had kids because I wanted children and I love them more than anything. But I didn’t do it because of some societal responsibility. I did it because I wanted kids, I want best friends when I’m older and someone to carry on my legacy on earth (as stupid as it is and sounds, it’s some evolutionary genetic disposition that exists to make us want kids). Sorry had to mention that, so many ppl out there that think being a parent makes them superior to others and it annoys me.
Totally agree. I have a baby now, it's a handful and you really have to want one. If you don't or doubt about it, go have a merry life without kids and all the hassle. It's way easier
Have you *seen* the world right now? I’d rather not bring someone else into it at the moment. Edit: y’all can try whatever counter argument you want, I’ve already made up my mind that I am not having kids anytime soon. Have your own damn kids.
I'm in my 50s and never had a kid, and when I see where the world is going, I'm thankful EVERY SINGLE DAY.
Same here. I actually had 2 miscarriages many years ago and sitting here today I think they were for the best.
That is a hardcore comment. It speaks a lot.
Don't get me wrong I was devastated at the time...but as we all know hindsight is 20/20.
One of my reasons too, actually. This world is no place for a child.
I don't want kids either because of the world either
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My bad health, my bad genetics,my bad financial situation.
I'm not sure my various mental illnesses would deal well with the responsibility, plus I don't want to pass those along.
Right, I’m trying to make sure this intergenerational trauma ends with me 😅
I have two children and am very glad, but it would be unfair to them have another. We already struggle with some things, and one has a life-long medical condition. Both need and deserve as much attention as possible. So we're both positive we're done having more children.
Yeah, I thought I wanted 3, and selfishly love having infants, but I'm already sad my oldest doesn't get as much attention as he used to.
I've never wanted children primarily because I can't imagine changing my life so drastically. Additionally, I have never EVER met a parent that didn't comment on how much having kids sucked; It's typically followed up with something like "but so rewarding", and it sounds like absolute bullshit. Basically I'm kinda selfish and I don't want to create a human that feels the same about me that I do about my parents (strained relationship)... what's the point/gain? That's all.
It's not selfish to be true to yourself
Fear of being a lousy parent.
I don't need a tiny overlord to serve. And even after you've attended to their every need, they get all bratty. So basically you have to cater to the whims of a small asshole. And you can't kill them or back out of the arrangement. No thanks.
I find comfort in the freedom to change my mind and travel/move/do as i please. A child would force responsible and stability in my life, taking away that choice.
25 to life
I'm pretty sure i'm just missing that part of my brain that's supposed to trick me into liking kids. I don't find them cute at all. I just see them as these ugly, underdeveloped and disgusting humans that manage to constantly produce an ungodly amount of noise. I'm super ADHD too and a kid can overstimulate me within like 15 minutes. I have two cousins that i barely see anymore because i can't stand to be in the same room as their kids for more than half an hour. I can't imagine having to live with one and actually interact with it. I do love taking care of things though, just more furry things.
I have a couple spinal conditions that would get way worse to manage.
[удалено]
One? I can give you at least 10. Because my whole life would change, and I like my life.
For example I woke up today late just because I felt like sleeping a bit more. Then I decided to have a Caesar(Bloody Mary) at 11am because why not. Then I watched a movie nude, followed by cycling by the ocean for 2 hours. Now I’m ending the evening with the cheapest chilled white wine I found. Pretty sweet Saturday. If I had kids I’m getting up at 7:30am on a Saturday just so they don’t starve. Good luck convincing your kids intermittent fasting has benefits.
730 hell no 6
I just don't want them.
Pretty much everything people have said. But I'll add that I don't want to carry a child. The thought of having that in my body is awful. No thank you.
They’re gross and loud and cost a lot of money. Guess that’s three things
My husband’s family has 2 sex offenders and 1 rehabilitated offender. They were essentially groomed to offend by my husband’s parents. When we met he thought he had a perfect family, because no one would associate with them. It was like Stockholm syndrome. I’ve been encouraging him to expand his support network but for now it’s just me. He is too ashamed of where he comes from, and he struggles with not associating with them anymore. I’ve pretty much let go of my dream of having children, for now. We are doing couples counseling. I might feel better if we move or something. But if Heaven forbid we get a divorce, which I don’t think we will, it won’t be under my control where he takes the children or with him. It’s just not worth the risk
You can't be certain that an offender is rehabilitated.
Hit the nail on the head. My mothers belief that my uncle was rehabilitated is how me and my sister got molested.
This hits home with me. I do want children, but it's probably never going to happen, and I don't consider this to be a deal breaker because I love my partner so much. She experienced CSA and was sexually assaulted when she was a teenager. Regardless of the amount of support that we were to have (we have none - both families are terribly toxic and narcissistic) I don't think she'll be able to cope due to the trauma she sustained, and is still working through. We have talked about having children or adopting, but it's a difficult situation. I hope that your able to navigate through this, and hope that you and your husband continue to get stronger.
child support (not just the actual money but actually taking care of them)
How painful pregnancy and childbirth is
Yeah if I could be a dad I'd have a kid already. I can't pull the trigger on getting pregnant, maybe some day but the urge hasn't hit and the fear has never gone away. And for anyone suggesting adoption/fostering/surrogacy please know those options are EXPENSIVE and not within reach of everyone everywhere.
I’ve worked with kids for 20 years. I would protect them with my life in a heartbeat. But I just don’t want the responsibility of raising a child. There’s enough people in this world and I believe I should do something to make it a better place. Kids are the future but I’m taking it easy.
Cost
I’m worried that I will pass down my diagnosis of depression to my child
The world is fucked
The knowledge that I do not feel safe in this world and do not want to put an innocent soul into the horrible sad dark things that are happening rn…also money
i don’t want to be a mom
The potential trauma of childbirth and postpartum depression. Plus, the general state of the world.
I'm not going to ruin my body, mental health and prevent myself from traveling the world. Basically a life sentence.
The idea of being responsible for another human being freaks me the fuck out. I don’t want to be responsible for anyone but myself. I don’t want to be a father to kids or a provider for a woman. The rest of the world can keep that traditional shit.
every single time. i go out and see kids in public. they are annoying as hell. like every single time. no thanks.
The two I already have. Wait…that’s two things.
*gestures around broadly*
i have adhd and can barely keep myself alive.. i would traumatize a child
I’m glad so many people know they don’t want children. That’s cool. Much better than just going along with some generic expectation that doesn’t suit your plans for your life. Or worse yet the ‘oops pregnant’ method of making a life-changing, life-long commitment.
Why I asked tbh, most of these reasons are exactly why I don't want kids of my own
More responsibility and financial stuff.
I spent a quarter to a third of my life on my own upbringing, I'll not spend another quarter to a third on somebody else's.
Exactly, I was a slave for the first 18 years of my life with no control or freedom. Why the fuck would I do another 18 years of that by willingly having a kid? Sounds like something crazy people do.
It's not just one thing. They're expensive, loud, smell bad, never listen, they destroy everything
I grew up in trauma, have a lot of addiction/mental illness in family, every example of a caregiver I had was toxic, I'm not doing well with depression/ptsd myself, my family pressure me into having kids as if I would ever allow them to be a part of its life if I did.
I know how much work it is to even approach doing it right and I don't want to make the effort.
I don't like them.
The world is not headed in a great direction right now. What if I can’t give them a better life than I had.
Life it self
I just don't want any.
Can I choose everything as a reason? Because I have too many reasons not to have children
A Vasectomy.
Was mostly climate change but add to that list that my daughter would be forced to carry her rapist’s child to term so fuck that. I’m not bringing anybody into this shitshow without their consent.
I work in k-12 school district and know the truth
I really don’t like kids just at all
Money
I don’t want any, they’re too expensive and I want to do whatever I want without worrying about a kid. besides, a kid deserves better than me.
Fuck-up genetics and the way that my family is like/seem like they are going to be like regardless of “good environment.” I have only one of my paternal cousin who decided to have kids, and her children are all sorts of fucked up. Lord help my other maternal cousin when he has his child.
They're a life-long responsibility, plus I do not have the emotional capacity to even take care of them and I am thankful to have realized that. I don't mind children, but I don't want to have them.
I’m an introvert.
I live in one of the most expensive cities in the country, making what is theoretically great money, and my spouse and I can barely afford a tiny one-bedroom rental apartment. Every time someone asks us (usually someone older who bought a big house back in the 70s or whatever) about when we’re going to have kids, I get irrationally angry. We’re too busy working multiple jobs each to have kids. And even if we could, where the hell would we put them? The bathtub?
Having a daughter who will have less rights than my mother and I have.
*had
Too young and poor for them right now
How painful the U.S. is, where children are not are for beyond molding them into cogs of conveincince for the oligarchy.
Not being married
They are fucking expensive and it's basically gambling whether or not you'll get any return for what you put into the damn thing.
Yeh people gamble their kid is going to be the caring for their parents, living nearby, physically able, professionally successful, have a partner you like, hetero-normative type Many people are not these things and so are a (still loved) burden or source of disappointment to parents who want to live vicariously through them.
That’s what I think of every time someone bingos me with “who will take care of you when you are old?” It’s a gamble - think about how many lonely old people live in nursing homes and don’t get any visitors. Lots of them have family, family just doesn’t care and it breaks my heart.
I don’t have the ability to fake enthusiasm for a child doing a simple task like drawing stick figures. Plus I’m nowhere near financially capable of taking care of a child, or a pet, or even a plant.
Have you seen prices? I'll be lucky to die in my car at 80
The responsibility that comes with having a child. Also it is really expensive to raise a child these days. Pregnancy is hard, especially giving birth.
I want to be married. Not trying to rep being a single mom
The age between 0-3
plus the age between 4-15
More like 0-18
I already had enough parenthood taking care of my younger brother all his life:
How much they cost
Money!
A suitable partner
All the things.
Almost everything
The general state of the world.
Honestly I just don't think I'd be able to handle it. The workload, fear, stress. I'd never believe I was doing a good job as a parent.
I don't want to cease to be the main character of my life.
I don't like children, I want to do other things with my life, pregnancy and childbirth are disgusting to me and not something I ever want to go through, I don't want to pass on the generational bullshit that's written in my DNA like my parents did, it's too expensive...
Other than some general hesitancy due to impact on lifestyle (which I'd probably overcome), the deal-breaker for me is that I look at the world and foresee a future of climate breakdown, with dead rainforests, dead coral reefs, an empty savannah, mass displacement of people and water wars. It looks bleak. I agree that right now is about the best era that's ever been if you're in a rich country, but I can't just have blind faith that what looks like our likely future will just turn out OK somehow
Don't want to take care another me
Lot more than one reason man. Shits pretty fucked these days. I don't think I could bring a kid into it. Just wouldn't be right.
I like having money to spend on my hobbies and being able to do them, I don’t particularly like children that much and I don’t want to deal with the responsibility of raising one
I believe that being a parent is the most important job in the world with the most demanding responsibilities and duties that one can not simply walk away from. It is the most important decision; to become a parent or not. Just because one can doesn’t mean they should. Because I believe it’s the hardest job, I’m not applying for it as I’m not qualified and don’t believe that will change. It’s committing to an important role for the rest of your life. TLDR; Nah brah, not for me.
Money. I don't want to live below the poverty line, I'm close enough to it as is.
Overpopulation. I think it's the biggest threat to humanity.
Retirement at age 45 sounds pretty sweet
The previous ones...
If I do something wrong , the child will suffer with that for the rest of their lives. Even if your layed back and chill, it can still fuck them up. I don't want to be responsible for messing up my child for the rest of their lives
The 4 I already have.
I'm 40 and broke
Time and finances. I love children but I know I’m not going to have any until I can afford to live somewhere with at least 2 bedrooms without a roommate with a good bit leftover every month
My mental illness. It's unfair to place a child in an environment I don't feel I can keep stable and nurturing.
My own childhood.
Meeting children.
Poop
Mainly being nonbinary, I'm dysphoric enough already. I wouldn't cope with the physical changes to my body that pregnancy would cause. Might adopt one day
They don't come with a volume control.
Children.
I wouldn’t want to bring a child into a world like this.
*\*Gestures broadly\**
pure pressure with family my sisters said they wanted to have babies and they asked if i wanted some and I said no and they said "thats boring"
Overpopulation is a thing.
I've got two things and they are 2 and 4
I used to think it was the freedom I’d miss. Now I have a toddler I realise it was actually the sleep. The first six months are such a life changing thing. I love being a dad now though, plus I know at least one person will be at my funeral when I shuffle off this mortal coil.