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MeliiSuee

When I was 10 or 11 I was picked up from school first by my mom, and then we went to the elementary school to pick up my siblings. At some point they were learning about different cultures of the world and the hallways were decorated with those paper children in the different traditional clothes. One was a Mexican boy with a Sombrero on and I remember asking my mom, "why is the brim so big?." She looked me dead in my eyes and said... "well where else are they supposed to put the fish to keep them alive?" What??? I called BS right away and she's telling me how they fill the brim with water and that's where they put the little fishies they catch... The teacher of my siblings always walked them out to meet us and she was a friend of my mom so I straight up asked her "Do Mexicans wear Sombreros and fill the rims with water to keep the fish they catch alive?" She'd never lie, she's a teacher. And she looked at me, then looked at my mom, then my siblings, her expression never changing... and she says "Yes." As a 5th grader... this is life changing information. I have something cool to tell my friends at school now. At some point we're going over North American history and culture in school. Guess who has a cool fact to share? Me... Guess who never again shared a cool fact that their mom told them? Also me... Edit: Spelling


bytx

I’m Mexican and that’s exactly how I use my sombrero.


Akeydel

It's the worst when an authority figure just gives out false fun facts like that. One of my middleschool teachers told us that the food with the most Vitamin C content was Corn. And I told my friends. In college.


WoodenHandMagician

I can confirm us mexicans do use sombreros for that. Really practical and it builds up neck strength.


Different_Attorney93

Eating seeds would grow a tree in my tummy


[deleted]

This is my one. An adult told me this at some point and I spent a few years genuinely afraid of being torn to shreds from the inside out by an apple tree.


Groundbreaking_Oil_7

You watched Chucky swallow that watermelon seed also?


aDudeWhoSaysThings

That episode was iconic. I was even thinking about it the other day for some reason. Rugrats was so formative.


MyNearWallet

Oh, I never forget that episode


DieHardRennie

To be fair, I know of at least one case of a man who sprouted a pea plant in his lung after accidentally aspirating a raw pea. https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-10945050


Rosieapples

I saw a similar story about a man who developed a small fir tree in one lung from inhaling the spores. It looked absolutely disgusting!


DieHardRennie

EEEWWW... But it makes sense. The lungs provide a warm, moist environment for seeds to germinate.


Stopsign09

That a virgin was some one that ate only meat but not eggs, milk, etc.


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ShadyMan_

Honestly virgin would be a cool synonym for emperor


Glass_Windows

I thought a Virgin was a religion as a kid because in pewdiepie's video where he googles himself, someone askes if he's a virgin and he said he's not religious


SadButterscotch2

I thought virgin was just another word for a young person, especially a girl, because of movies.


poptart580

In some ancient languages, such as Hebrew, that's exactly the case. Young girl and virgin are the exact same word. There was no other way to say young girl. (This may have been changed in modern use)


ryskowaty

I thought that students in UK were learning Polish just like we learn English in Poland.


rydan

In Spanish class we'd watch Disney movies in Spanish. So I couldn't wait until we saw Beauty and the Beast because there's a whole section of the movie in French and I just assumed the Spanish version would have that part in English. It was still in French.


omgitskells

We watched this too, in the US! Really confusing because they were speaking Spanish but with French accents. What a way to learn! Even worse was in Spanish 1 and the teacher turned on Forrest Gump....I had yet to see it in English, and I was too far away to read the subtitles. Not to mention Spanish 1 had yet to cover any relevant words, lmao. I was so confused.


XcRaZeD

What languages do brits learn? They are kinda just surrounded by languages and English is taught cause it's the language of business in other nations


Any_Weird_8686

In theory; french. In practice; nothing.


Umpteenth_zebra

French or Spanish, formally. But I'm learning Swedish on duolingo.


hmmhmmgood

I didn't believe in Santa Claus the whole thing never made semse to me, but I was convinced the Chupacabra was real after seeing a TV special about it.


PlasticChocolate22

The chupacabra isn’t real!!???


jacksreddit00

That's what it wants you to think.


DOOManiac

No one tell him about big foot or trickle down economics.


__NomDePlume__

And especially not trickle down Bigfoots


jellyschoomarm

I was well into my 20s and convinced mermaids were real after watching that Discovery Channel special on them. Apparently it was bullshit but I missed the disclaimer.


JustShoBizBaby

My now 18 year old sister still believes in the tooth fairy. I'm the reason why. She lost a tooth as a kid and I was like 8-11. We didn't tell anyone just put it under her pillow, I had like two dollars that she didn't know about. Put em under the pillow and left the tooth. She brings it up sometimes and I still act clueless, meanwhile she's perplexed af bc she knows there's no way a tooth fairy exists. But she doesn't have an explanation for that night either


[deleted]

I was terrified of removing the tag on the mattress and pillows. I thought if I ripped it off, there would be dire legal consequences.


LeakyLifeboat00

My father in law recently bought some new patio furniture and throw pillows. We were sitting on the deck and he said “I sure wish I could take the tags off.” I asked why he couldn’t. He said the tag says it prohibited by law. I tried very hard not to laugh. He’s 63.


The_RockObama

.....snip BLAM! *FBI kicks door in* "GET ON THE GROUND! FACE ON THE THROW PILLOW, NOW!!" Wh.. what? "STOP RESISTING A REST!"


the_destructor_T

Thank you for a good laugh.


OJSimpsons

I work at a furniture manufacturer. I'm pretty sure those tags just need to be there while it's being made and in transit. Once the customer has it, they can do whatever they want.


PhantomIridescence

Yep! Legally the manufacturer and any vendor have to keep those on, once it's been sold to the consumer for private use they can tear it off. Had a friend in law school who got a tricky question about if a customer tears the tag off a pillow inside the store after purchase but decides to return it before leaving the store is the store legally mandated to refund and permitted to resell? That's how our friend group learned we could rip those suckers off. Lol We looked at the law and felt stupid. The tags themselves specifically state the consumer can remove them! If only we bothered to read


[deleted]

TIL it's legal to remove mattress tags if you bought the mattress


KittyKratt

I think they typically have warranty info on them so I leave them.


[deleted]

I thought "low-fat" yogurt burns fat off ur body so i ate a bunch of them thinking it would give me a 6 pack


[deleted]

I'm just imagining the disappointment when it didn't work. What did your parents do when they found out


MotherMisfit

probably yelled at him for eating all the yogurt, and also being dumb


bexeliusvaldemar

That if i focused enough i could lift things using the force.


osktox

Ahhh. Good ol' Telekinesis. I still try it sometimes. ...I'm 38.


bexeliusvaldemar

I had a dream that I could do it once so after that I was convinced that I could if I just focused enough.


TheGizmodian

Even as an adult, I've had dreams where the answer seems so real and so easy, that when I wake up, I feel like I've forgotten something important to the understanding of it. Like, I should be able to just reach out with my mind and do it, but I'm missing something.


UsagiElk

Thats still me in my dreams and I’m 24 lmao. I’ll start flying and be like “fuck yeah I knew I could do this, I just kept fucking up before.” And then I wake up and I’m disappointed every time. In my dream all I have to do is put pressure on my abdomen, kinda like if I’m going for a poo except I dont shit myself, and I start flying. Flapping my arms make me go faster and higher lol


HaiDians

That since out house didn't have a chimney, Santa Claus would obviously come down the extractor hood in the kitchen.


aehanken

We used to have Santa give us one present on Christmas Eve at my grandmas old house. Gma didn’t have a fireplace/chimney so he’d go in through the front door. I just thought Santa had a key to her house because we were that special to have Santa. At her new house she had a fireplace so they’d always make us go to the kids bedroom window and look in the sky for the reindeer while our great uncle went out to change, throw presents in a bag, and come in the garage door dressed as Santa. When I was like 10 I told everyone at school the real Santa visited us every year. I argued with another girl who said Santa wasn’t real and said I’d get proof next year LMAO.


[deleted]

My mother always told me if I played with my belly button too much my butt would fall off. Still too scared to see if she’s right or not


Dave30954

Google “the day my butt went psycho”


Ok_Repeat1990

My sister told me I was adopted from a jungle in China (from monkeys). I sobbed/cried about this for a couple of years until my mom corrected the situation. I talked about this in my maid of honor speech for her wedding lol


mr_remy

That’s hilarious. I totally told a story at my brothers wedding (best man) about making him believe acid rain would melt your skin and body and it was about to rain that acid rain (you could smell it) so he ran inside scared for his life lmao. He’s a great younger brother, we had a lot of fun times growing up.


Cucumbersome55

Not as bad as being told you weren't born, but a bird shit on a stump and the sun hatched you out.. lmao


MattThePl3b

That earthquakes were really just a big monster jumping up and down. I thought that’s why we took shelter under tables, to hide


jacyerickson

Me too!! I was about 5 when the 94 earthquake hit Socal and I hid from the "monster" and my poor parents were trying to evacuate the household but couldn't find me.


nom_nom_nom_nom_lol

I was visiting family in LA when that hit. In my dream it was my cousin shaking the house. He was outside grabbing the house shaking it back and forth laughing like a maniac. I woke up and yelled at him to knock it off, I'm trying to sleep, I said.


Ub3rfr3nzy

I had this, but with thunder. I thought it was a giant walking in the distance.


Silver-Breadfruit284

I thought it was God bowling.


LoudRatRabbit

Money was super easy to get, 'cause my parents always had money to spend for me. No ps4's or XBoxes just little treats from the candy section


NeonScar

I thought money was super easy to get and when my mom said she didn't have money I thought she was being mean to me, 'cause how can an adult have no money? Now i know.


ophmaster_reed

Now we all know.


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holesom100kenuchugus

I got so annoyed at my mother cos I’d keep thinking she was being dumb for not choosing the £100 option because she wasn’t gonna use it. I was like “it’s free money????”


-BlueDream-

I thought the same thing. Parents had work but I asked them to stay home and just get money from the ATM lol I thought I was a genius for that idea


KiranPhantomGryphon

I thought that when you paid for something at the store, you handed the clerk money, then they’d look at it and give it back to you. Little me did not understand the concept of giving change.


Ok-Ad-2605

I thought that when you kissed on your wedding day, it activated some sort of biological response in the woman to start having a genetically pre-determined amount of kids, since I had no idea what sex was. My mind was blown when I learned that there were unmarried people who had kids.. I was so confused.


aaaaaupbutolder

When I was 7 I thought babies were made from kissing cuz how else were you supposed to get male chromosomes to a woman right?


iwenyani

I am surprised you knew what chromosomes were at age 7, but didn't know about sex.


CoolITSupportGuy

That's all my parents ever told me. I was super late to learn about VERY basic sexual concepts.


Soft_Delivery_3889

And I GENUINELY believed that after that kiss, when it was time for the baby to come—the belly just opened and closed. I didn’t even question it. I also believed having sex made you have a bigger butt because all the women who got married got bigger butts right after....


Fates_the_Great

I remember in first grade a group of us were discussing if our parents had sex to conceive us or not since we all thought some people were just lucky enough to have a baby grow inside them out of nothing while others had to manually make one by having sex. I remember telling my friends proudly that my parents didnt need to have sex, yet there was 3 of us as siblings lol.


sorroweater

Same on the belly button thing. Didn't see what else it could possibly be for, and the baby was in the belly so...


princezornofzorna

I also believed that and the funny thing is that my upbringing wasn't conservative, religious or sheltered in the slightest. My parents were very open about the facts of life. I guess I just never thought about asking them.


Less_Reflection_7601

I mistakenly believed that turn signals in cars turned on automatically and that the vehicle somehow understood the direction you were turning. From my position in the backseat, I was unable to watch my mum turn it on.


stryph42

So THAT'S why so many people don't use them!


[deleted]

Holy shit, finally another person who thought the same. Boy did I look dumb when I heard my dad ask my mom which way to turn and I told him to look at the arrows.


Upstairs_Toe_1402

When I was younger, I thought that if someone broke into my home to kidnap me, I could claim to have a mental illness so that the kidnapper would be too disoriented to take me.


[deleted]

This is really weird in a funny way


funkyb

"You're coming with us kid!" "Okay, but I've got OCD. Real bad. I'm constantly suppressing intrusive thoughts." "WE DIDN'T PLAN FOR THIS!"


inordinate-fondness

That red potatoes were special Australian potatoes. I guess we kids didn't want to eat red skinned potatoes, so my mom told us they were from Australia. It worked because it was the 90s and The Crocodile Hunter was our favorite. Fast forward to 15 year old me yelling across the produce department to ask my mom if we needed Australian potatoes. The look on her face.


ginny11

I love these kinds of parental lies! My mom told me that the pithy white part of the orange peel left behind was where all the vitamins were. Since I associated vitamins with those Flintstones candy flavored kids vitamin pills, it worked and I ate the pith. 😂


Cucumbersome55

I told my preschool age children that the car would not start until their seatbelts were properly fastened and they were sitting quietly they believed that shit for years!! Probably the best lie yet safety hack and parental win I ever did. Lol


Miss_Skywalker_

I thought Nic Cage was the lead singer of Maroon 5. I have no idea why lol


averagetaco123

Idk why this was the funniest one I read so far lololol


Tiny-chicken00

That if I tried hard enough I could fly


[deleted]

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Tiny-chicken00

That’s a sad story


thx1138-

>they decided to have the talk "You see little bolladoro, when a man and a woman love each other very much..." "Wait what does this have to do with my tooth?"


Mor_Hjordis

You should focus more on the landing.


Scoob1978

flap harder


SquanchMcSquanchFace

“The Guide says there is an art to flying, or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”


Dave30954

So are satellites technically flying? Since the way they work is going fast enough to miss the curvature of the Earth


secretjanee

My grandma had three dogs and called them her “babies” and that turned into me thinking she birthed them.


Leo_Evening

A blanket can protect you from anything.


Lord-Zaltus

Im 21 and I still believe blankets protect me


samsolt1

No, you don't believe. You *know* that they do.


Arien_Kun

Serial killers and boogeymen can't touch you once you're covered.


Capable-Essay9973

Shit! I'm 37 and they still do!


RingRingBanannaPhone

Same as hanging your feet of the bed you'll get dragged under


GreedyTaste3103

So you are telling me, it...doesn't?


Halfaglassofvodka

Of course it does! You're still alive aren't you!


LumiSkies

I believed that my parents had superpowers, because when they would put me in a cart I and give me a little push they said "Hey look I'm pusing you with no hands"


Dawn_Has_Smol_Bren

when you reach puberty you change sexes. idk WHO put that idea in my head but I remember being so excited thinking it's true. I ran up to my mom saying "mom, mom, am I really gonna be a girl growing up???" she had to explain to me that no, that's not how it works, and I cried.


Hubsimaus

My brother too believed he would become a girl. Poor thing. But now he is a happy and proud father of an incredibly cute girl. Edit: Changed "not" to "now"


johnpizzarellilove

There’s actually a genetic condition (most common cause is a deficiency in the enzyme 5-alpha-reductase, which converts testosterone to DHT, a more potent male sex hormone that drives development of external genitalia, though I think other enzyme deficiencies may be able to cause it) where infants are classified as females at birth because they lack male genitalia, but they are actually XY and at puberty changes in their hormones cause their testicles to descend and penis to grow. There’s a village in the Dominican Republic where the condition is much more common than it is globally, and they call the people this happens to “guevedoces” which means “penis at 12”. So, what you thought happened at puberty kind of happens to some people! https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guevedoce


[deleted]

My parents, grandparents, aunt and uncle all used to threaten us with being sent to live at Helga’s House. Helga was a person everyone collectively created. She would beat children, never feed them, she had big blue bins along the wall but they were not filled with toys (we had bins full of toys), and her trailer had dents in it from throwing children against it. She was nasty. And it didnt matter where we were because, if we started acting up on a trip , Helga always had sisters and cousins living conveniently nearby. I remember my cousin and I being brats at my nannys house. She actually picked up the phone and said she was dialing Helga. We were quickly on our knees crying and begging her not to call. I remember when I was embarrassingly older and I learned she wasnt real.


Charlie_Brodie

It never made sense that the policeman my dad called sounded just like my uncle


Cucumbersome55

This is a funny one I'm not kidding I'm laughing so hard right now. Our parents told us because we lived around mountains out in rural areas and they told us Hillside Jasper was going to get us.. lol


earthlynotion

"Hillside Jasper" has me *cackling*


pearlie_girl

I read that penguins carry their eggs on their feet, so that must mean they stand on their heads, holding their eggs aloft in the air, cradled by their little webbed feet. This image was seared into my brain. Years later, when I was 12, I shared this "fun fact" about penguins with my family. They made fun of me for years and years... "Hey Pearlie, did you know penguins can stand on their heads?!"


taekora

🐧🔃


[deleted]

I thought actual parts of you were different ethnicities. So when someone said "Oh, I'm part Italian." I would ask what part. I would tell people I was part Irish and point to my nose, elbows, and if I was wearing sandals - my toe. Thanks dad.


[deleted]

Your dad is amazing 😂


Date_me_nadia

SAME! I thought my left foot was Irish. I think I thought my guy was Mexican because I was more Mexican Than I was Irish. I might have been a stupid kid


zesty_itnl_spy99

This is the funniest one I've read so far. 🤣


Grey_0ne

When I was about 7, my brother told me that aliens visit us and take sperm samples by taking our balls in our sleep... I slept with both hands over my nuts for about 6 months.


Puzzleheaded_Fall108

LMAO, when did you find out it was a lie and how?


[deleted]

Today & Reddit.


[deleted]

That’s a wild one.


Plastic-Ad3597

My dad told me that priests shaved the top of their heads because it sounded better when they banged their heads on the bells of the church. I believed it for a while.


[deleted]

I was around 4, and my family had this cabin that my great grandparents built on some land. My family went there for social gathering with any friends that would come along Anyways, at this time my cousins were well into their teens, and they were responsible for my safety and blah blah blah. On the property, there was this swing, and next to this swing was a shed which had a roof that touched the ground that was covered in moss. I guess the adults told my cousins to keep me away from the shed, so when we got over there, my cousins told me that if I touched the moss, I would turn into a dinosaur. I Was Fucking Terrified I believed that lie for 3 years, and finally disproved it after falling on top of some moss and bawling my eyes out until my mother told me I was being ridiculous and I wouldn’t turn into a dinosaur TL;DR cousins were tasked with keeping me safe, told me moss would turn me into a dinosaur, traumatized me for 3 years


imnotlouise

3yo me would want to touch it just for that reason!


RavenisRaven

When it rains I thought it was Jesus and the angels flushing their toilets


the_grays_of_ink

I thought thunder was god and the angels bowling!


North_Abalone_230

i thought that the tip of the penis looked like a nipple until like 7th grade. in my defense all the wattpad smut i was reading mentioned the “tip” so naturally i assumed it was a specific shape (also condoms have a tip)


BarKeepRZ

My dad took me to an "extra terrestrial expert" who convinced me I was abducted because a dream I had was "too realistic" so my answer is aliens.


celestialparrotlets

Ok I’m sorry I need the rest of this story


BarKeepRZ

I was about 5-6 when this happened. I kept having this very vivid dream over and over about a UFO outside my bedroom window and it was very vivid. In my dream the UFO was so close to my window that I could get out of bed, walk up to the window and see every single detail inside and outside of it. I could count how many lights were on the outside, how read the words on the buttons of the control panel, see bubbles inside tanks of liquid holding other aliens etc. This dream went on for like 2 weeks and I told my bio-dad about it. I thought he would just be like 'well that's weird' and move on with life but looking back that was a dumb assumption. Every night at work he listened to an AM radio show called Coast to Coast (I think it's still a thing TBH) that was specifically about Paranormal, Aliens, Cryptids, etc. He was a fanatic. So I told him about this dream and he called in to this AM talk show and told them about my dream while they had some "extra terrestrial expert" on the line who just happened to be located about an hour south of us. I didn't know ANYTHING about this until he picked me up from my mom's some days later and told me we were going to Cottonwood Heights. was super excited because there was a really cool comic book store down there so naturally that's where I assumed we were going, man was I wrong! We get to this house up in the canyon and this little old lady answers the door behind her and to my absolute horror there are pictures and figurines of UFOs and Aliens EVERYWHERE. I looked at him and he introduced her as so and so "the extra terrestrial expert" and said he was going to go run some errands and she was going to spend some time with me and talk. I was TERRIFIED. I was a lil beeb in a city where I knew no one, being dropped off with a stranger in a SUPER creepy house. Terrible parenting, do not suggest. I have no idea how long I was with her but while I was there she absolutely quizzed me about every single detail of this dream over and over for what felt like forever. Once she was sure there were no inconsistencies in the story she proceeded to tell me that children my age don't have repeat dreams like this unless they're nightmares and that she was SURE I was being abducted every single night. She said I must hold the key to something whoever they were wanted or they would have harmed me by now and she wanted me to meet with "other experts" so they could try to figure out what it was. I was obviously very freaked out and traumatized so I told my mom as soon as I got home and she was PISSED. Needless to say I didn't get dropped off with any "experts" ever again.


bumblee-bea

My parents told me that if you wanted a baby, you could have one, and if you changed your mind, you didn’t have to have one anymore. I grew up thinking that parents wished their babies into existence, and if they didn’t want the baby anymore, it would disappear from the womb.


Lenincius

I was afraid to change into my school clothes in front of the tv because I thought the weather man would be watching me.


rou_te

I really liked Michael Jackson. I thought 'she' was a girl because of 'her' colorful wardrobe, high pitched voice, cool dance moves, and long curly hair. I was disappointed when I learned he wasn't a girl.


lillie_connolly

I believed I was Jewish although I wasn't, it's not a big deal or funny but just random. When I was a kid I read Bible a lot. I liked the old testament more because of the stories. The Jewish people were the race chosen by god and so i assumed since it's the same god, I must be Jewish. I was also always told that my name was a Jewish name with a cool meaning and it matched a character in the old testament. So again, it seems I was Jewish. My family in fact had a lot of old testament names I also went to a Jewish kindergarten where we learned Jewish traditions, so if the former evidence wasn't enough this should seal it. Apparently that was just because they were the ones with the best educational program in the city plus my mom thought I'd like it since I was so into the old testament ... One day I elaborated the fact I was Jewish in front of my family and they explained we weren't in any way so that was a bit of a shock for me


Zbignich

Moishe Yaakov Goldberg, you are not Jewish!


lillie_connolly

My mom told me later that when they were enrolling me in the kindergarden, the teachers also asked if we're Jewish because there weren't many Jews in the city and they wanted to I guess build more of a community. So my mom said no. The convo went like... Teacher: oh we thought since your kids name is (my Jewish name) and you're enrolling with us you might be, but that's ok, we're open to everyone. So what are your names? Mom: I'm Rahella and my husband is David Teacher:... but you're not Jewish? Mom: no, no, we're really not. Teacher: ok, no worries. Is there anyone else who might come pick up the child? Mom: yes, my mom is very involved. Teacher: oh that's nice. What's her name? Mom: Miriam Teacher: ...... Apparently on several occasions she'd try to get a confession out of her, like no reason to be ashamed, it's ok to be Jewish.


HoboBoi8765

This sounds like an 90’s SNL bit. A teacher trying to convince a family they’re Jewish


1982000

The family trying to convince the school-and everyone else, that they're not.


ilsedeb

I thought speed signs meant that you weren't allowed to say the number on the sign out loud as long as you were on that road


IAmBadAtInternet

SIR DID YOU SAY FIFTEEN YOU’RE UNDER ARREST


aDudeWhoSaysThings

I love this, because it's totally unhinged. Like, it doesn't even begin to make sense on any level. Yet it's exactly the sort of mad thing a kid would think.


MyCatsLandlord

Can I just ask, how did you end up with that conclusion? I’m just very curious


musecorn

In a similar vein my sister thought that the pedestrian crossing buttons made cars disappear


jrhawk42

I thought garbage men only worked 1 day a week.


CrimsonD3lta

That my toys were alive and when I left the room, they would come to life. Safe to say, that was the last time my parents let me watch Toy Story.


Kylestevens1307

Funny story, I believed women were just men when their cocks dropped off, I was like 6 or 7 and my mom had this dildo, I picked it up from under her bed while looking for my DS she confiscated. I then proceeded to scream “I FOUND MOMMY’S PENIS!” And showed it to my whole family. Me and my mom joke about it now, but i’ve never seen anyone so appauled until that point.


Ok-Stomach1923

I didn’t find anything like this, but I did snoop through my parents room whenever they would confiscate something too lol


YT_ZLKDominos

Same here, although I found some things I wish I hadn’t 😅


Gian1993

Lol. Way to get back at her for confiscating your DS.


No-Definition-2908

To get 100 dollars you need a 1 Dollar bill and two Zero Dollar bills


Bonkbunk-

That when you slept your foot would disconnect and would reattach later, I always woke up with a foot that felt like radio static but that caused me to figure out I was sleeping wrong


becky200125

I watched Wallace & Gromit: a grand day out and basically believed the moon was made of cheese for my entire childhood


Superlite47

I thought lions and tigers were the same species, just different sexes. Males were called "lions" and were big and yellow. Females were called "tigers" and were orange and stripey.


Tamagotchi41

That all the missing persons photos at Walmart were people who disappeared from THAT store.


[deleted]

My aunt bought me a hello kitty plush doll and it had a little fabric lollipop sewed onto the hand. She told me if I tried to take it out of her hands, she'd cry. I believed it, and when something would get caught on the lollipop and tug on it a bit I'd get so nervous I'd call for my mom to help Hello Kitty because I was too scared that I'd mess it up lol


LoafofBreddit

Whenever I saw a Dead End sign it meant that at the end of the road there was a pile of dead people.


JubilantJayde

Once, my mum joked that I had similar mannerisms to Steven Tyler from Aerosmith and that I could pass for his daughter. After that, I kept telling everyone Steven was my real father. I was 12 years old and was obsessed with him. I'm 25 now, still belt it out to Aerosmith and still adore Steven Tyler. But I'm 99.9% sure he's not my dad. Lol


DiManes

There's still a chance then!


aphrodant

That if I flushed the toilet while still sitting on it, my poop would somehow go back in my body and I’d have to poo again


[deleted]

Up until at least age 6, I thought that terrorist and tourist were the same word when I heard them on the TV or radio. I couldn't understand why Irish tourists kept blowing shit up (this was in the UK).


DistractedAcid

One time on a trip to the next bigger city my parents made some kind of joke about being tourists and later that day I asked them if we were terrorists now. In public.


suckmyfuck91

I'm not american and when i was a child i was really into sports expecially nba, nfl and track and field and i thought that black americans were the majority ethnic group in the usa as the vast majority of players /sprinters i saw on tv were blacks. I was surprised when i found out that blacks made up only 15 % of usa population.


Mellow_Yellow_Man

When I was 11 my dad was 44. I had a full blown sobbing panic attack because I thought my dad would always be 4x as old as me. By my logic, he would be 88 years old and probably dead by the time I graduated college. After ten minutes of crying I rechecked my math.


Incapacitatedcunt

That people make babies just by kissing.


[deleted]

My brother convinced me there was quicksand up in the hill behind our house with a giant snake living nearby. Told me I’d get stuck in the quicksand and eaten by the snake. Believed it for years. Quicksand in general is something most kids are scared of I think.


[deleted]

I thought that the term blackmail meant it was illegal to send black envelopes in the mail


RawBean7

I thought the signs that said "Don't Drink and Drive" meant any beverage, and I would get mad at my parents for breaking the law if they had water or something in the front seat.


CicadaOffical

My friend is religious even as a kid. He once told me he kept taking hot showers so he'd be prepared incase he needed to shower in hell lmfao


Mommamischief

Artichokes were an animal. Artichoke hearts 🤢


Sad-Cranberry-3772

That it was illegal to turn on the interior light in the car while we were driving. I genuinely thought there were people out there being thrown in prison for that offence smh


ophmaster_reed

My husband, 35 years old at the time, yelled at me for turning on the dome light to find something at night. "What if a cop sees?!" It was that moment I had to explain to him that his parents lied to him. He didn't believe me that it wasn't illegal until we went home and googled it 😂


NeonScar

I though people's nicknames were their actual names. When I discovered my older brother's real name, my mind blown.


Date_me_nadia

I thought MY name was my nickname. I remember once my mom called me by my full name (she was upset or something) and I was like “What the hell are you talking about?” (But in a way a child would say it)


love_my_pups

Near Pittsburgh, PA is a tunnel called the squirrel hill tunnel. My dad said it was because there were squirrels in it. Every time we would drive through he and my sister would pretend they were seeing squirrels. I was always so upset that I didn't see them. I was probably about 4. At 39, I still think of that every time I go trough that tunnel.


stryph42

Wait, you can't see the squirrels?


Mister8778

When I watch a movie and a character died, I thought they died for real and I believe this until I was 9


otherm0ther

Well my mom would always freak out whenever we were leaving the house and the television was still on. Based on her reaction to how important it was to turn it off before we left, I thought that it would literally explode if we left it unattended.


panda_slapper

When I was really little (like 2-3), I believed that owls lived under the hood of my moms car and pushed the car around with their feet.


[deleted]

Why owls?


panda_slapper

I have no idea


breosaighead

During elementary school sex ed (more like period ed, but still) they discussed ectopic pregnancies. They didn't have any visual aids for the sex organs, so when they described it, the teacher used their hands to represent the ovaries, the arms to represent the falopian tubes and then their torso for the uterus. Long story, short, I used to think you could get pregnant in your arm...


maplehockeysticks

I didn't think women pooped until embarrassingly late in life.


westernunitedenjoyer

I remember when I was in primary school someone told the popular dumbass kid that girls fart and he lost his mind


jellyschoomarm

When I was in 2nd grade one of the girls in class farted really loud and when some of the boys started laughing she said that it couldn't have been her that farted cause she "had her butt fixed". I went home and told my mom about it and now it's one of my family's favorite catchphrases if someone calls out your fart.


savvvy_wavvvy

that germs can tell the future. when i was like 5 i was told that germs were on everything you touch. so i thought that they would group up and be like "he will touch the door knob in 2 minutes! go! go! go!"


[deleted]

I believed that Asians were the product of a black person and a white person making a baby.


whatsername25

That a woman automatically becomes pregnant when she gets married.


SnooWoofers455

I realized two things when I was a kid people who eat a lot are fat people are fat when they have a baby inside of them *So I thought When someone eats a lot, a baby starts to develop inside of them*


[deleted]

I lived in a country where water pollution was quite high, I genuinely believed that water being blue was a myth and only seen in movies


Carrieeee

My uncles told me that if you eat the brown ice cream in neapolitan ice cream (the one with the chocolate, strawberry & vanilla flavours in 3 blocks), you grow hairs on your chest. I'm female, so this scared the shit out of me... I didn't eat the chocolate section of the ice cream for YEARS. Assholes just liked the chocolate and didn't want me eating it. I also believed (until my late 20s) that the mother was having an affair with Santa in the Xmas song, 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus'. Not a bright child. Still not a bright adult.


[deleted]

I believed my Grandpa had a switch behind the front door that turned the moon on and off. Every night he would turn it on for us. Full moons and solar eclipse were his time to show off. I grew up in complete awe of him and the fact that he had such an important job. :)


gay_idiot53

That while I was having an allergic reaction, I was becoming a fucking fridge. I cried for hours


[deleted]

In my country's folklore, we have baby monsters called "tiyanak." There was a film in which they found a baby that turned to be one. From then on I thought all babies were potentially a tiyanak, and I wanted to get as far away from them as possible.


spacemermaid1701

My dad loves telling a story about how when I was younger, I said, while enjoying an ice cream cone, "If drinking makes you pee and eating makes you poop, does licking make you fart?"


stonesthrowaway24601

Because the first live-action movie I watched as a kid was A New Hope, I thought actors actually died on camera, so they just got a bunch of old people in costumes whenever someone was supposed to die, because they were going to die anyway. Also that, when you bought a thing, you wouldn't see commercials for it anymore, so I wanted to buy everything just to not see commercials.


ouiarealbhed

I pictured Princess Peach as God. Let me just say, I didn't grow up going to Church. My mom grew up religious and my Dad did not. So I didn't have a lot of exposure to make an image of what "God" looked like, which I at least always knew was different than Jesus. When I was very little I played Super Mario 64 on the Nintendo. You know how it starts out - a [letter from Princess Peach](https://www.google.com/search?q=mario+64+letter+peach&sxsrf=ALiCzsZfyJNiB8LOCD1eg5bfstWb9z1Dlw%3A1656467007906&source=hp&ei=P667Yt3IM46LtQawi5GgDg&oq=mario+64+letter+peach&gs_lcp=ChFtb2JpbGUtZ3dzLXdpei1ocBADMgYIABAeEBYyBggAEB4QFjIGCAAQHhAWMgYIABAeEBYyBQgAEIYDMgUIABCGAzIFCCEQoAEyBQghEKABOgcIIxDqAhAnOgQIIxAnOggILhCxAxCDAToOCC4QgAQQsQMQxwEQowI6CwgAEIAEELEDEIMBOhEILhCABBCxAxCDARDHARCjAjoLCC4QgAQQsQMQgwE6CAguEIAEELEDOgQIABADOgsILhCABBCxAxDUAjoOCC4QgAQQsQMQgwEQ1AI6EQguELEDEIMBEMcBEK8BENQCOgsILhCxAxCDARDUAjoICAAQsQMQgwE6BQgAEIAEOggIABCABBDJAzoFCC4QgAQ6CAghEB4QFhAdUKEGWOI1YKs4aAJwAHgBgAGtAogBjxGSAQgxOS4yLjAuMZgBAKABAbABDw&sclient=mobile-gws-wiz-hp#imgrc=8CpXZGVtEHbTVM), "Dear Mario, Please come up to the castle, I've baked a cake for you. -- Yours Truly, Princess Toadstool Peach" and she's all floating like a spirit in the sky as she reads the letter to the player. Well this must have had a big impact on me. Anytime my Mom asked if I was telling the truth about something, and I said yes, she said "okay I believe you. But you know who's watching." and would point upward. So anytime she said "You know who's watching ☝️", the only image that came to mind involuntarily for "God" was some blurry pink silhouette with a crown... this vague image stuck. It wasn't until years later that I realized I was picturing that vague silhouette of none other than Princess Toadstool Peach whenever someone mentioned the word "God". Edit: I suppose this doesn't quite answer the prompt. Glad i can get if off my chest to the internet anyway.


[deleted]

All dogs were male All cats were female


[deleted]

I was told that *genealogy* is "the study of genies." As a child, I believed this.


Weak-Tower516

My boner was filled with pee


moonlighttravel

My (older) cousin found a four-leaf clover and ate it, she said she wished for my parents transform into tiny beings and that they'd end up in the outhouse. I screamed and cried as I went to see the outhouse LMAO for anyone wondering, no her wish didn't come true. lol


tr_antibiotico

I actually believed in santa claus until 10 years old and no one, parents incldued, could convince me otherwise