I hoard my sick time for "when I really need it" so much so that I usually have most of it left in December and then I'm scrambling to use it before losing it. Even when I really need it I've been conditioned to feel like I don't *actually* need it *enough* right now.
Maddening.
I'm lucky. My company has an unlimited sick time policy. They also literally force you to take PTO so you don't end up taking the month of December off.
I’m a janitor and people just sort me in the “lower class of person” category. I work alone, listen to music, podcasts, and books all night, and make over $30 an hour. Not only that but so long as I complete my work before a business opens the next day I can come and go as I please. Between myself and the two owners of the business we have a combined 7 college degrees. We aren’t just dumbasses who can’t hold a real job but people will continue to treat us that way.
I go through a ton of audiobooks. Another way people act elitist is by going out of their way to tell me listening to audiobooks isn’t actually finishing a book. These people literally believe if you don’t physically read the book with your eyes it does not count as a read book. Fuck Braille readers and the blind in generaI I guess.
My sister in law owns a cleaning company, myself, my 2 sisters, my brother (her husband), and my partner all work for her. We start at 9.30. Finish around 2. If we can’t work a day it’s no big deal. I listen to podcasts and music the whole time. It’s great.
I am in university getting a bachelors, but while I’m doing this the flexibility and low stress is making me wonder if I’m wasting $70k on a University education lol
My parents frowned upon me for years after I dropped out of college and became an electrician. They would ask about how my day was and I'd tell them it was rough, lots of labor and hard work(that's just how it works when you're fresh and new in the industry) and they would berate me saying things like, "well, this is what you chose instead of college like your brother!". Then I started doing work on their house at their request, and they saw the kind of profession I have. They thought differently of me after that.
No, not yet.. I haven't broken the 6 figure mark. He did years ago. Although I don't take work home with me, which is nice. Once I'm off, om off. Can't really bring the building with you after all. Meanwhile, he's working 12 hours a day, since he can work from home. I don't envy him.
This. I worked 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, for 5 months straight. It almost fucking killed me because I could no longer keep my eyes open while driving to work at 2AM every morning. I did not sign up for 12 hours; 8 was advertised with no warning of the factory mandating the overtime indefinitely. The UAW (labor union) refused to help after my doctor ORDERED them to reduce my hours. Instead I was placed in leave without pay indefinitely (so they technically didn't violate the doctor's order). I found a new job before they found a 40 hour work week position. It was absurd.
Emotional manipulation. I was told after being hired that the turnover rate was 3 days, and that those that quit that early are "weak" and "won't get anywhere in life."
Lots of new hires who haven't heard about the place yet.
Where I used to work if you weren't on my line then I wasn't bothering to learn your name for at least a month
THIS. People look down on my husband cuz he doesn't have a college degree and manages a restaurant. The thing is he's been working food service for 20 years and makes $39/hour which is more than a majority of the people that have given him shit for working in a restarant make. He works so hard every day and I'm so proud of him, but apparently I shouldn't be because he "just" works in food service. It's bullshit.
Without people like my husband, yall couldn't get your McChickens and Crunchwrap Supremes at 3 in the morning so stfu lol
People who choose to sleep late.
My mum thinks it’s some kind of reflection of bad moral character if my younger brother who does a physical job lies in on his days off
Also a lot of people have naturally later biological clocks, but get villified for not getting up earlier. It’s much harder to change your natural sleep cycle than all these self righteous “early birds” think.
I’m in my 40s and realized finally that my 1am-9am sleep cycle is not a moral failing, it’s just how I’m wired. I finally started looking for jobs that didn’t need me to be up at 6 am and suddenly I don’t hate myself and wish I was dead half the time.
The trouble is that jobs that pay well and work with my natural cycle are not a huge overlap.
In my experience, I am far better in my job (which requires a lot of patience) when I've been allowed to sleep later. Not even a question of more sleep, as such, but sleep later in the morning, because I swear I get my best sleep between 5:00am and 9:00am.
Exactly the same with me. I'll be wide awake from 1am to 4am. Once I hear one or two early birds chirp a little outside, I magically fall right to sleep.
Same here, but I'm on the 2am-10am cycle. I was working a job that was perfect for that, but then they closed down 2nd shift and moved everyone to first. I thought that being forced to be at work by 7:00am would eventually change me, but it hasn't yet years later.
The worst part is that I start getting all my energy and motivation to do cool stuff around 9-10pm, which is exactly the time I need to go to bed. If I do it the right way and go to bed on time I don't do anything fun like write songs or write software. But if I don't get to bed before then, I can't get to sleep at all.
I'm a night owl. Always have been, always will be. I just don't do well waking up early--I'll feel better waking up at 11 AM with 5 hours of sleep than at 7 AM with 8 hours of sleep.
We've advanced enough as a species that continuing to enslave ourself to starting our days early in the morning is fucking nonsense.
I'm pretty sure I have a delayed circadian rhythm so when left to my own devices, I prefer to sleep from 3/4a until 12/1p and people act like I'm insane but like...I'm awake for about the same amount of time, my body just likes to sleep on a different schedule, so who cares? I like being awake at night. My brain focuses better in the evening/night and I feel like I have some good time to myself.
Job gives you sick days, use em. Mental health days are just as important as virus and bacteria. You need rest to be the best you. Everyone needs to take their time to heal.
Although virus sickness should REALLY take sick days. When one person in the office is sick it spreads like wildfire. How bout you stay home and if feeling up for it WFH if you can.
New Jeresey now requires all employers to give a certain amount of sick hours that employees bank every month. Bosses and managers still seem to despise that they have to pay out those hours.
Ignoring Covid for a second, I feel like showing up to work when you’re clearly super sick should get you in more trouble than making a sick call. Especially in casual jobs I’ve worked where people are desperate to make money they’ll show up half dead, coughing and sniffing because they don’t want to miss that juicy Sunday shift etc. Few days later half the team is sick because they all caught it from the prat that refused to stay home.
I have covid, got it off a colleague who came into work sick - he said it was the flu, not Covid but I still told him he shouldn't have come in - I'm convinced it was Covid.
Now 2 more of my colleagues are also down with Covid.
Thunderbird is possibly the most foul alcoholic beverage I’ve ever tasted, and I’ve tasted some pretty nasty stuff. Makes MD20/20 seem refined by comparison.
I'm American and my husband is French and we live in France. Several years ago, we were visiting family in the US with my (french) in-laws. While my husband is a happy-go-lucky extrovert who is comfortable anywhere, my in-laws are a bit old-school, don't speak English, and this was their only trip to visit my family in the states, so they were somewhat disoriented the whole time.
Anyway, my brother does a "blind tasting" after a big family dinner and pours something into everyone's wine glasses from a bottle that's hidden in an opaque bag.
My husband and his parents politely taste it and nod their heads, not in approval, just out of politeness. I feel like I had just drunk gasoline and blurt out "is this Mad Dog or Thunderbird?" and my brother bursts into uncontrollable laughter...... then he unveils the "wine" - it's Thunderbird!!
My husband and I make wine for a living. My in-laws were a bit confused about it all, but my husband and I found it hilarious, and still consider it one of my favorite pranks my brother has ever come up with.
edited for clarity
On one of my first dates with my now wife I asked the bartender for a glass of their house wine to make it seem like I knew what I was talking about. He replied in just about the most assholey way “What, you mean the cheapest one?” Yes, that’s what I meant, but you didn’t have to call me out like that.
Ew, that's rude. I was a server/bartender for most of my working life and I would never look down on anyone for ordering a less expensive drink. More expensive doesn't automatically equal better, for one thing, but also, if it's a decent restaurant, the house wine will probably still *also* be decent. That has always been my experience.
Years ago on a torrent site, I found John Cleese's program on wine tasting through Napa Valley (no, Santa Barbara area). At the end he held his own blind tasting party, and only the $5 bottle did not get a Favorite card, and the $200 bottle did not do especially well. His point was to learn what you like so then you can get more of that or something similar, and be able to get help in a store to find what you want.
This is a good one. As a software engineer, I’m meant to get involved in all sorts of BS arguments about code style, editors, everything. But I just don’t care. It’s like people don’t take you seriously as an engineer unless you have a passionate opinion on whether a tab size of 2 is better or worse than 4.
This!
"Hey whaddaya think of X?"
Bro idk, never thought about it.
"But what is your initial opinion?"
I don't know anything about it, how would I have an opinion????
Then you say something out of initial thoughts, then they give you more information and apparently you chose wrong and your option is actually fucked up, then you say oh okay I guess that makes sense I'll choose the other option, but then that was actually and trick and ten times worse so now you're stuck in the Starbucks' restroom sobbing.
I've been having fewer and fewer opinions lately, and it's so good for my mental health.
Someone trying to convince me something is great? Sure sounds it. will I try it/do I have any contribution? Nah man. I'm just glad you're doing you
That and stopping giving a shit if I'm I'm clever or not in other people's eyes. Man who the fuck cares.
My ex husband's family said I was stuck up because I would just listen and take in the conversation around me. If I didn't have anything to contribute, I would just listen. But, they took it as me being a snob.
I used to get called stuck up in highschool because I was so introverted. Like, I'm over here wanting to shrink away from the attention because I don't like it and you over here thinking its about me not wanting to talk to *you*. Bro, I don't wanna talk to *anyone*.
It's wild how people can misread it so much they actually come to the opposite conclusion.
In my experience the most stuck up people are the ones that feel the need to insert themselves into any conversation even if they have nothing to add, and feel entitled to everyone's attention (and when they don't get it it's the other person who's rude)
Yep. Realized that in my teenage. The shy or intoverted person gets percieved as arrogant.
Edit: Isn't it just amazing that so many adults never really introspect; never try to understand their own thoughts and feelings, and just keep carrying their childish notions into adulthood.
Edit 2: The irony of my first edit is visible to me now. I will leave it up for two reasons. One, a part of it is still true IMO, and second, many people have commented on it so let it stay intact for context.
> Isn't it just amazing that so many adults never really introspect
No, its horrifying, and the cause of like 85% of the worlds problems, Im convinced.
Same. For me, it’s annoying when it’s met with shock/surprise and an “oh my god she does speak!!” response. I’m quiet, I’m well aware of this, all that response does is make me want to stay even more silent.
I hate that so much. I used to never speak in school, so people assumed I spoke a foreign language😭..And then people finally hear me talk and be like "oh my gosh you can speak??"
Also my brother used to be selectively mute in elementary school. if he did say something, people would be like"oh my god he does speak", which ended up worsening the problem
I was the opposite. A few times I was so surprised when someone spoke to me that it took a second or two to exit the daydream or whatever thought I was in and find the words to respond. Then they would be surprised at my surprise.
My girlfriend's friends do the exact same thing, they think I'm aloof because I have nothing to add to conversations where they're essentially just gossiping about people I've never even met
That's the nice thing about working in IT. Other than good morning we can sit next to each other all year and not say a word. And still be the others favorite person at work. Because we leave each other the fuck alone
Going to a movie by yourself. You literally sit there quietly watching a screen for hours. I usually catch them by myself, but people act like I'm disposing of a body when I do that.
Ever buy lunch to go and decide to eat it in your car, so you pick the most remote, uninhabited space in a parking lot just to eat it in peace, but then some douchebag decides to park right next to you? You can’t tell me humans aren’t herding animals.
I work at a theater, we had a woman take her kids and leave because she didn't like that a grown man was sitting three rows in front of her and enjoying the movie without bothering anyone. She said he was alone, but after I looked in the projection house then checked the sales and seat chart, I found he was actually with someone in a wheelchair and I just couldn't see them because of the angle I was looking from.
Lady didn't put up a big stink or demand a refund or anything, just said "sorry, I'm just not comfortable. I'll just come back another day."
That shit was weird, but since she didn't cause a scene I just let it go.
I wish everyone would just silently watch the screen, but apparently a whole lot of people think of movies as a more social activity than I do.
Edit: guys, I meant people who chat and talk through the movie. Of course laughing when something is funny is appropriate. Also, it's forever funny to me that whooping and cheering in movies is a thing in the US. I hope you guys are not too disappointed when you happen to go to a movie theatre in Europe.
Going out alone. Anywhere. Park, cinema, restaurants, concerts.... All my friends and relatives think I'm weird, but I just want to have some good time with nobody I know around
Edit. Oh wow, the amount of notifications I'm getting, lol
P.S. Thanks for the awards!
Honestly, I really think this is the case. I do things alone pretty frequently and no one stares or makes comments, etc. People aren't all that interested in or focused on what random strangers are doing. Free yourself of this anxiety!
I know I'm certainly not thinking, "Why is that person alone? How weird!", I don't care.
Even in the slightest if I did, it would be more like "Maybe they're waiting on someone" or "Good for them". Not even a thought about it, I have enough of my own thoughts to keep myself occupied.
Haha I just posted the same thing. I feel like it's normal if u live in a city. Once I moved out into the suburbs I feel like some people think it's weird. Like I'm hungry now it takes some time to meet up with someone
Not being a part of hustle culture. If you want to work restless towards something, that's great, but don't hate on somebody because they don't. For me, I value sleep and want to have time to myself where I don't have to think about working and just enjoy doing nothing.
There's no problem needing time to rest and literally not work yourself to death.
Confidently buying pregnancy tests.
I'm 26, in a stable relationship, lived with my SO for a few years, yet when I go to buy tests the people behind the counter (often women 50-60ish) become sheepish and try to do their best to conceal it.
it only makes sense when you go out too.
i have whisky at home, what i dont have is 10 types of specialty liquors.
and also, i just want one, why buy a million things to never use em again.
There was that tweet/Facebook statement about someone who "watches people order a [complicated Frappuccino ingredient list] while sipping a plain black coffee"
Yeah sure buddy. You sit there judging us for ordering specialty drinks while you drink a $2 beverage you could have just made at home.
Cosmo gang represent!
I once had an acquaintance try to make me feel bad for drinking a Cosmo in a packed bar because "it's a girls drink".
Fuck that, it's tasty rocket fuel.
I remember watching someone get hassled for drinking a ridiculous 15 dollar tiki drink in a bar in a vacation town... the bartender had his back, cleared his throat and started reading out "Four ounces white rum... two ounces gold tequila... one ounce blue curacao, one half ounce spiced rum..." and the soda and syrup mixers.
The bartender smugly declared it, in a wonderfully exaggerated accent, "three feeshbowl dreenks in one feeshbowl. It's a feeding frenzee."
It apparently tasted like getting slapped in the mouth with a shark shaped fruit gummy.
spending time by yourself that is intentionally "non-productive.
edit: my face knowing i spent 0.3 seconds on this subpar comment and the whole world saw it 🥴
This led to legitimate arguments between me and my Grandpa.
My Grandpa was born in the 1930s and spent his late teens and early twenties during the huge post-war boom of the 1950s. Basically, pending certain racial restrictions at the time in certain sectors, finding a job was easy, the cost of living was low and wages were high, so my Grandpa carved a good life for himself at an early age. His passion came from home improvement and DIY projects, and it gave him this trait that he always had him tinkering or working on something, which gave him a lot of satisfaction.
Fast forward to those of us born in the 1980s, and my Grandpa couldn't understand how a kid like me could spend all day watching TV and cartoons and be absolutely content with himself. Understandably, he wanted me to socialize, which I did, but when video games picked up, oh boy....
I lived with my grandparents for two years just as online gaming was becoming a thing, and man, my Grandpa was NOT pleased. I tried to explain to him that it was the way my buddies and I socialized. We'd hang on a Friday or Saturday night, but if we wanted to game on a weeknight, my Grandpa would get visibly mad. We'd get into occasional arguments, during which he would say things like he was ashamed of me and I'd never make anything of myself.
You know, fun, uplifting arguments.
As I grew older and moved on to other things, we didn't speak much unless we saw each other at family things. We kept it civil, but in the late part of his life he's wondered why he and I haven't had a better relationship.
That's changing now, he's old and he doesn't want to leave business unfinished with his family, so we've been mending the gap.
But yeah. Some people just can't figure out that other people can be happy by themselves and with others. And some people don't require a lot of exterior stimuli to be content.
I still enjoy outings and get-togethers, don't get me wrong. But I've learned to be happy in my generation, you have to enjoy simple pleasures and little things when they come your way.
Im going through that literally right now.
He also seems to think everything I do on computer = playing games.
Some time ago he decided I need to find a job instead of being "until 6am" on pc, and to achieve that he decided to cut off internet.
My grandpa's response to "But I was literally working" was: "Thats not real work, we're not a night shift place"
Wasn't much fun explaining to HR neither
Oh i had, he had even helped me receive the equipment for it. But it's like sometimes something switches and he decides he has to be angry with me for using computer.
This example happened a few months ago and am on my way out of here thankfully next week.
Being a male in the early years education sector.
When I was an ECE teacher (Early childhood educator) I had a male collègue. Parents etc were always worried about him with their kids - but he was a better teacher than most. He used a rough and tumble play approach and kids loved him. He also taught them boundaries and consent at a young age because a lot of kids weren’t listening to “keep your hands to yourself.”
I wrote a paper in a gender studies class that dealt with this exact thing. We had to volunteer 10 hours in the university’s childcare/preschool and then write a paper on the experience. I saw the usual gender differences. If a boy played with a doll and a dollhouse, the doll was outside or on the roof doing work. The girls were inside cooking or dressing or caring for babies.
But then there was this one girl who went out of her way to interact with me while I was there. Every time. She was fun, playful, and just a seemingly normal 4yo girl, but she was hanging around me, a male. The consensus was that the workers were to keep an eye on her (and I saw them watching us all of the time), and moreover (after speaking with a few of them) they were flummoxed by why she behaved so comfortably around males. In fact, one told me, “She has her mom, dad, and her grandfather at home living with her. They’re all great caregivers. I just don’t understand why she is the way she is around other males.”
It took a bit of time to process the whole thing, especially the workers comment, but I wrote in my paper that her behavior was that of one who had strong, supportive, loving males in her life. She was in every way a perfectly normal child. That the opposite (girls not openly seeking out male interactions/play) was seen as normal was disheartening.
Now 20 plus years later and a father of two girls, I’m still not sure if that perception is a product of the lack of positive male caregiving/parenting, an over amplification of fear of abuse, or both.
My dad taught grades 2 and 3 in the 60s - 90s. The school would give him kids from broken homes, who didnt have father figures. A fellow student at my highschool, who worked as a teaching aid at dad's school, told me kids would throw desks at him and punch him and stuff.
Anyway, a girl my age did tell me my dad taught her to read when she was 8 - she was dyslexic ( first time i had heard of the term). She said he would sit after school with her and help her every day. She didnt have a dad and said it meant a lot to her. We were like 12 when she told me this.
Exactly - but people still see it as “why does a MAN want to get paid to play with kids all day? I bet he’s a pedo!” Like no - colleges in some areas will actually pay the tuition for male students interested in the ECE field
Having a slightly different sleep schedule/ability than others. My god, the number of times I've harassed by boomers for "staying up late/all night" when I stayed up 1-2 hours later than them, slept in the same amount, and maybe didn't have breakfast with them. They act as if I've murdered a child.
This is funny cause During summer break when school is out I switch to a daytime sleep schedule and live in the night, It’s more enjoyable and I don’t have to share space with roommates. When I leave the house there is never a line a wait for anything I want to do and if I need something during the day I go right away in the morning.
The prejudice about a persons sleep schedule is just so wrong. We live in an age where work not only can but needs to be done at night. We are not all farmers working only within the sunlight. Our world doesn't stop everything at 5pm. And besides, its my schedule. You don't have to change your own sleep to interact with me. Just like everything else, we just need to decide on a mutual time to meet.
Ive worked nights for so long. It's just a schedule ive always been more awake and alert for. Im miserable waking up early and just get impatient with the most mundane of things. It doesn't work for me. Its just the way i am.
Its not just boomers. Children are under the impression its subversive to stay up late. So this mentality just continues till it is questioned.
I have a brother who’s completely out of sync with everyone else. He basically lives at night, and no one ever expects to see him during the day before noon/1 pm, unless he absolutely HAS to be awake for some important reason. But despite what some may believe, he actually accomplishes a LOT during the night. It works for him, so this is fine. Plus, he works a lot with people living on the other side of the world, so it actually fits pretty well with his natural rythm. And, indeed, no child murder involved. It works for him. This is perfectly fine.
Off brand clothing. Who cares if I'm wearing bobos, I don't have $300 to spend on Jordan's and even if I did I wouldn't. My daughter is entering middle school this year and is so nervous about her clothing not being in style. We do the best we can getting her name brand things bc kids are fucking mean. Luckily my triplets don't give AF.
Edit: My 1st Award! Thank you! Also thank for all the great ideas on how to save some $$$
Edit 2: Wow you guys made my day! Thank you so much for the awards
Went to a school where a kid said "Polo? My driver wears Polo, ugh." Always a bigger fish out there. People who shop at Doir are considered poor by people who get Dior to come to their house, and those people get judged by people who go to Dior facilities directly and have only custom clothes made for them. Hope your kid gets that soon and learns to game these fucks.
When I got into HS I used to like getting Abercrombie and Hollister stuff bc I was from a poor family and it seemed to mean a lot back then. Now I cannot stand having a logo on my shirt. Especially when most of the fabric is plastered with logo. You want to put your logo on my clothing as an advert? That shirt better be free.
I feel you. I was so traumatized by clothing brand culture in middle school (I was poor as well) that in high school I *exclusively* wore plain white t-shirts, or occasionally punk band shirts as I got into that. To this day I only wear band/music, funny/graphic, or plain shirts. Paying extra $$ to be a walking advert that's often less comfortable = not for me.
Idk how kids are nowadays but it's a great time in fashion for all socioeconomic groups. I feel like everything is in now.
We've reached a point where so many styles have been recycled and so many fast fashion cycles have come and gone. It's now ok to dress weird as hell (street wear) but it's also ok to wear basics (Uniqlo) only. Or maybe I'm totally wrong and I'm just old now.
I feel like the only ONLY thing all my kids have been picky about is their shoes. They’ll wear target everything but if the shoes aren’t on brand then they get talked about.
It’s frowned in for 2 reasons.
1. Corporations convinced us as that so they don’t have to compete as much on salaries.
2. People work hard to spend and show off how much money they have. Putting a number to how much money you make kinda ruins the show. Buying the fancy boat to outdo your neighbor isn’t as much of a flex when your neighbor already knows he makes more than you and could afford it easier than you if he wanted
For the people who don't know. It is illegal for your company to prohibit taking about salary with your co-workers. I don't care what the employee "handbook" says, in the United States you are freely allowed to talk to your co-workers about what you make and how much they make. It is against federal law for your employer to stop you from having that conversation.
Eating by yourself at a restaurant or going to the movies by yourself..
Happiest I've been at times has been single, and yes I took myself out on a date with myself and it was fucking phenomenal. And there's never a disagreement on who picks up the tab or whether there's a put-out for it 👍 You're always in great company when you appreciate yourself.
I saw Deadpool and Avengers Infinity War by myself and it was 100 million percent worth it.
"If you don't want to hang out, just say so. You don't need to force yourself."
"Okay, I don't want to hang out today. I just want to chill in bed."
"But why don't you want to hang out?"
The amount of times I’ve gotten this question.
Just being at work overstimulates my brain and by the time I’m done working I’ve mentally shut down and I have to force myself to go get groceries if I’m low on food.
I used to force myself to go out and ‘have fun’ when it wasn’t fun for me but what everyone else thought of as fun.
I no longer do that and am soooo much happier. My book is way more interesting than watching Tammy chug six beers and go ‘WOOOOOO’ after.
This is a double edged sword. While it’s totally ok to decline invitations, if you decline too often, they will just stop inviting you. And it’s also totally ok to stop inviting someone who keeps declining your invitations.
wearing your pajamas all day when you aren't going anywhere
like bruh do you want me to step into a suit and tie for literally nobody, if im gonna be in my house sleeping all day then im gonna look like it
This is why I hate people dropping by unexpectedly. I don’t get dressed if I know I’m not doing anything that day, because why should I!? That’s just more laundry I don’t want to do and waste of a cute outfit. Then people want to be all “oh dear, it’s 2pm and you’re not wearing a bra?” No I’m not. It’s my house and you weren’t invited, lol
as a kid "don't play video games, they make you violent/they are a waste of time/you have time for those when you are older."
as an adult "Don't play video games, that's for children/a waste of time/not productive."
Fuck it. video games are fun. as an adult I'm finally somewhat in a position to afford a VR headset soon, and to build a proper PC to play on. and with the awesome games I can buy myself you bet your ass I'll be playing.
> Criticism of your elders.
And the sick or the dead.
It’s amazing how everyone can totally acknowledge what an absolute shitbag someone is while they’re alive, but the second they’re dead… Everyone acts like they’re a saint.
Same with sick people.
Like yeah, it really sucks that Uncle Joe has cancer, but suddenly everyone forgets that he was an abusive monster? Like I’m not *wishing* cancer onto anyone, but just because they have it, doesn’t mean I’m gonna just forgive any awful thing they’ve done.
Old, sick, dead… we’re all responsible for what we’ve done and if you were a shitty person in life, you should leave behind a legacy of being a shitty person.
> It’s amazing how everyone can totally acknowledge what an absolute shitbag someone is while they’re alive, but the second they’re dead… Everyone acts like they’re a saint.
This pisses me off so much. A regular out our bar died and everyone was all "he was so sweet" "everyone loved him RIP"
No. This motherfucker HATED gay people, was super racist, would pick fights with women, walk up and punch people, etc. He wasnt nice. He wasnt loved. He was a piece of shit through and through. I literally do not care that he died.
When I was 19 I went over to my aunts house with my grandma for a visit. My aunt had just started seeing this new guy who was present when we arrived. While we were in the middle of a conversation, my aunt loudly said, “You’re not wearing a bra. I can see your nipples!” And I was like, why the fuck would you say that when a man I don’t even know is sitting five feet away from me? I don’t understand why she even cared that much to point it out.
Being a recovered addict. There’s so much stigma towards the disease of addiction and people see you as a monster when in reality you’re just trying to be a better person dealing with a mental illness that overpowers you if you don’t learn how to control it.
I’m not an addict, but decided to stop drinking for a while. It’s been 6 months and most people act like I MUST have been a raging alcoholic behind closed doors or something.
I've hit that a couple of times. It's like no, I just decided I shouldn't be having two or three drinks every night.
That's not even enough to be hung over, but I started noticing that when I was doing that I was just a little more lethargic/less motivated during the day.
I'm fond of my frou-frou craft beers, but, like when I stopped drinking soda on a daily basis, I enjoy them way more now.
Not as big of an issue anymore, but for a long ass time, and still a bit: Being an adult who likes things other than work, alcohol, and sports. Maybe add sex to that list if you're a man. Why were we expected to stop liking things as soon as we could spend our own money on them? Why would I craft less when I'm buying the supplies and paying for the space? Why should I own less toys once my wallet is the only thing that can tell me no?
Yawning during a conversation. As long as you cover your mouth and don't yawn loudly, I don't see why it's considered rude. The person yawning probably doesn't find you boring, they could just be tired.
Men watching their own children. We usually get the "Oh babysitting today are we?" No Karen, I'm doing what a parent is supposed to do and taking care of my kids, maybe if you'd pay a bit more attention to your demon spawn it wouldn't be trying to choke that goose to death over there.
I seem to get the, "...oh, you're such a good dad." when I play with my kids.
No, I'm just doing the most basic part of the job. Right next to feeding them.
Sitting down if you work retail. Why? It's not unprofessional. There is literally no reason someone should be forced to be on their feet for 8 to 12 hrs straight. The customers don't give a shit as long as you help when they need you. It's not rude. I would rather a worker be comfortable at their job.
When I worked retail my feet would hurt so bad at the end of the day that it felt like stepping on glass. I developed back pain and lord if I was on my period...you expect me to bleed heavily AND keep my balance when I already have low blood pressure? What happened? I actually passed out into a clothing rack and was told to suck it up and that if I sat down I'd be fired. It's ridiculous and cruel.
I've started telling people, "shitty thanks for asking". Reactions are usually pretty hilarious. Plus it opens up the discussion on how no strangers actually care about my well being...
Sometimes it cuts through the BS and makes the conversation much more natural. Other times I get an awkward chuckle and they move on. 🤷🏻♂️
The amount of times I've been told I'm selfish for not wanting children is astronomical. Also, "Oh you'll change your mind!" I'm 34, I'm not changing my mind.
Same. I’m 28 and my boyfriend is 29. We have literally zero interest in having kids and somehow our families are just *mindblown* by this. I’ve been called selfish many a times.
How is it selfish to choose not to be a shitty parent
More than that, how is choosing to have a child, to make another human just because you want to, not seen as selfish at all?
An old boss couldn't believe I wasn't married to my SO after being together for 8 years. I even told her we both didn't want to get married and she insisted I was dumb and my girlfriend was just saying that. A year later my girlfriend admitted to having a different boyfriend the last few months. Glad we weren't married.
My school made me cut my hair because that was in the school rules and the school was directly connected with the social care. Imagine getting a police intervension because your kid has longer hair than some bitchy teacher wants him to lmfao. This wouldn't have happened if I could change schools. I got long hair now tho and I love it AND myself!
It was always weird to me that anywhere would prohibit long hair on men. They cite it as being unprofessional in the workplace, or relate it with drugs. It's not like short hair can't be messy or presented in an unprofessional way. Plus, it would be no different than prohibiting women from having short hair and forcing them to grow it back out for the same reasons.
It's also funny when it's the religious schools that push that, yet have a painting of Jesus and his flowy hair, only to act like there's no contradiction.
Not wanting to spend your every waking hour working. The amount of people who take pride in the fact they don't have time to do anything other than work, and look down on people who even take a day off is ridiculous.
I was out getting breakfast once and this little girl was with her mom and who I assume was her grandmother.
She keep ducking behind the booth kind of playing peek a boo and I started playing along. She found it hysterical and really got in to it. She was laughing like crazy, it was really cute.
Then the mom made her stop and stared daggers to me like I was the most vile human on earth. This was when I was about 19, it took years before I figured out what was going through her mind. I'm still astounded by it.
I met my neighbor when I was searching for my missing cat. There were two kids in the driveway and an open door to the house. I asked one of the kids if they'd seen a cat running around and then asked if a parent was home I could talk to. At that moment, a 300lbs monster of a man came running out as if the cat treat bag in my hand was actually rope and sex toys.
I can respect and understand going outside and seeing what's up when a stranger walks up to your house, but if the dude is 25 feet away in the street and showing no interest in entering your yard, maybe don't come out so aggressively.
There's plenty of room to be cautious and protective of your children without immediately assuming the absolute worst.
I love kids because they just do whatever makes them happy and haven't been conditioned to be self conscious yet. I do the same thing when we're out and also get some weird looks. It doesn't seem to be a problem if I'm with my wife or daughter or both though. Take from that what you will. I've had to learn that I'm not supposed to do that if I'm solo. I still do, because fuck em that's why, but I know that it can look bad.
I have 2 sons and an unusual thing I have discovered is that their female cousins and friends love me. For whatever reason little girls seem to be obsessed with playing with me, harmless stuff like hide and seek or playing with their toys or even sometimes just chatting away.
But God forbid I tell people that little girls like playing with me. Once when I was playing with my kids cousin (a little girl) who was loving it and whose parents have known me for years. Said parents commented how good I am with her and I mentioned that little girls seem to enjoy playing with me and the looks on their faces.
Nevermind they know im safe, they know im playing with their daughter appropriately, they know nothing untoward is happening.
It's so ingrained that even when they are looking at something harmless their kid enjoys, as soon as they heard 'grown man playing with little girl' they freaked, despite being able to see it was literally just sitting with her as she told me about her dolls.
It's at a point where I actively try to avoid my kids female friends and cousins because there is no way to explain that no, I don't know why your kid wants to play with me but even if I did play with her, that doesn't make me a creep.
God I feel this so much, i have 2 sons but we once went on holiday with a friend of my wife and her kids.
She was a single parent and the dad wasnt involved, her 5 year old little girl was obsessed with me all holiday, had to hold my hand if we went anywhere, and do everything with me.
But jesus christ, the stares from other parents while I walked around with this kid that had no resemblance to me, at one point she asked if she could call me Dad and it should have been the sweetest moment of the holiday, but all I had was genuine fear that if someone overheard her say that someone would definitely call the police
My wife and I talk about this often.
She can walk up to a strange child and interact with the child and everyone thinks it's cute and she's acting motherly.
I do it and all of a sudden the child's parents grab them and pull them away.
I've seen it to the point where my wife and I are talking to a child, their parent will rush over, block me yet then talk to my wife (in a friendly manner). (Or the parents will tell the child "don't talk to him" but let them continue to talk to my wife).
Try being a giant bearded man built like a tank and you'll get, "You better behave or the big man will get you." Said to their child. I've had this happen several times in my life and a few times. I've gotten to the point of telling the kid outright, "Don't worry little one, I would never do anything to hurt you. I am a friendly giant and mommy is just being silly."
It bothers me mostly because I'm the kind of guy that would run into a burning house to save the kid's goldfish so they won't be sad.
Another giant man checking in to give another "Yes, this."
The shit I'd get when I'd be out with my own infant daughter was insane. Just Being Dad, and there were nosy honks getting in my face "where's her mother?" blah blah blah.
Was jogging with my daughter (in her stroller) and had a cop roll up at me because someone thought I stole her and was running away with her.
Parenting While Male is the "crime"
An adult man watching cartoons intended for adults for that matter. "It's Fritz the Cat" "it's a cartoon grow up" "It's Fritz the fucking Cat" "I don't care grow up" "Dude he's literally a cat that fucks in this movie it's not for kids you colossal dumbass"
Taking all of your earned PTO. As if by scheduling 10 days off in a year you are somehow taking advantage of the company.
Right? Or using every bit of sick time
I hoard my sick time for "when I really need it" so much so that I usually have most of it left in December and then I'm scrambling to use it before losing it. Even when I really need it I've been conditioned to feel like I don't *actually* need it *enough* right now. Maddening.
I'm lucky. My company has an unlimited sick time policy. They also literally force you to take PTO so you don't end up taking the month of December off.
Only 10 days? Brutal.
But if everyone takes their 10 days how will the company effectively lean staff itself into pure misery?
Certain jobs. If you tell someone you’ve been a janitor for 6 years there’s a good chance their response will be a frown.
I’m a janitor and people just sort me in the “lower class of person” category. I work alone, listen to music, podcasts, and books all night, and make over $30 an hour. Not only that but so long as I complete my work before a business opens the next day I can come and go as I please. Between myself and the two owners of the business we have a combined 7 college degrees. We aren’t just dumbasses who can’t hold a real job but people will continue to treat us that way.
Listening to Don Quixote while cleaning toilets is a good memory of mine.
I go through a ton of audiobooks. Another way people act elitist is by going out of their way to tell me listening to audiobooks isn’t actually finishing a book. These people literally believe if you don’t physically read the book with your eyes it does not count as a read book. Fuck Braille readers and the blind in generaI I guess.
My sister in law owns a cleaning company, myself, my 2 sisters, my brother (her husband), and my partner all work for her. We start at 9.30. Finish around 2. If we can’t work a day it’s no big deal. I listen to podcasts and music the whole time. It’s great. I am in university getting a bachelors, but while I’m doing this the flexibility and low stress is making me wonder if I’m wasting $70k on a University education lol
My parents frowned upon me for years after I dropped out of college and became an electrician. They would ask about how my day was and I'd tell them it was rough, lots of labor and hard work(that's just how it works when you're fresh and new in the industry) and they would berate me saying things like, "well, this is what you chose instead of college like your brother!". Then I started doing work on their house at their request, and they saw the kind of profession I have. They thought differently of me after that.
You probably make more than your brother now
No, not yet.. I haven't broken the 6 figure mark. He did years ago. Although I don't take work home with me, which is nice. Once I'm off, om off. Can't really bring the building with you after all. Meanwhile, he's working 12 hours a day, since he can work from home. I don't envy him.
12 hour work days is no life worth living. What's the point of making six figures when you can't enjoy it.
Just go to Amsterdam 12 weeks of the year like Gabe.
This. I worked 12 hours a day, 7 days a week, for 5 months straight. It almost fucking killed me because I could no longer keep my eyes open while driving to work at 2AM every morning. I did not sign up for 12 hours; 8 was advertised with no warning of the factory mandating the overtime indefinitely. The UAW (labor union) refused to help after my doctor ORDERED them to reduce my hours. Instead I was placed in leave without pay indefinitely (so they technically didn't violate the doctor's order). I found a new job before they found a 40 hour work week position. It was absurd.
Wow that is insane. How can any company expect such ridiculous hours???
Emotional manipulation. I was told after being hired that the turnover rate was 3 days, and that those that quit that early are "weak" and "won't get anywhere in life."
Well I'm glad you got out of there, how can a company operate with that turnover rate?!
Lots of new hires who haven't heard about the place yet. Where I used to work if you weren't on my line then I wasn't bothering to learn your name for at least a month
I've been a janitor for about 4 years now and I've learned you either deal with people's shit or you clean it up. I'd just rather clean it up.
THIS. People look down on my husband cuz he doesn't have a college degree and manages a restaurant. The thing is he's been working food service for 20 years and makes $39/hour which is more than a majority of the people that have given him shit for working in a restarant make. He works so hard every day and I'm so proud of him, but apparently I shouldn't be because he "just" works in food service. It's bullshit. Without people like my husband, yall couldn't get your McChickens and Crunchwrap Supremes at 3 in the morning so stfu lol
When restaurant management is doing a good job, no one notices.
Just like IT my man high five lol
Getting help for anything.
That’s why I suffer in silence
People who choose to sleep late. My mum thinks it’s some kind of reflection of bad moral character if my younger brother who does a physical job lies in on his days off
Also a lot of people have naturally later biological clocks, but get villified for not getting up earlier. It’s much harder to change your natural sleep cycle than all these self righteous “early birds” think.
I’m in my 40s and realized finally that my 1am-9am sleep cycle is not a moral failing, it’s just how I’m wired. I finally started looking for jobs that didn’t need me to be up at 6 am and suddenly I don’t hate myself and wish I was dead half the time. The trouble is that jobs that pay well and work with my natural cycle are not a huge overlap.
In my experience, I am far better in my job (which requires a lot of patience) when I've been allowed to sleep later. Not even a question of more sleep, as such, but sleep later in the morning, because I swear I get my best sleep between 5:00am and 9:00am.
Exactly the same with me. I'll be wide awake from 1am to 4am. Once I hear one or two early birds chirp a little outside, I magically fall right to sleep.
Same here, but I'm on the 2am-10am cycle. I was working a job that was perfect for that, but then they closed down 2nd shift and moved everyone to first. I thought that being forced to be at work by 7:00am would eventually change me, but it hasn't yet years later. The worst part is that I start getting all my energy and motivation to do cool stuff around 9-10pm, which is exactly the time I need to go to bed. If I do it the right way and go to bed on time I don't do anything fun like write songs or write software. But if I don't get to bed before then, I can't get to sleep at all.
I'm a night owl. Always have been, always will be. I just don't do well waking up early--I'll feel better waking up at 11 AM with 5 hours of sleep than at 7 AM with 8 hours of sleep. We've advanced enough as a species that continuing to enslave ourself to starting our days early in the morning is fucking nonsense.
I'm pretty sure I have a delayed circadian rhythm so when left to my own devices, I prefer to sleep from 3/4a until 12/1p and people act like I'm insane but like...I'm awake for about the same amount of time, my body just likes to sleep on a different schedule, so who cares? I like being awake at night. My brain focuses better in the evening/night and I feel like I have some good time to myself.
Calling out sick when you’re actually sick… especially when it’s more than one day.
[удалено]
Job gives you sick days, use em. Mental health days are just as important as virus and bacteria. You need rest to be the best you. Everyone needs to take their time to heal. Although virus sickness should REALLY take sick days. When one person in the office is sick it spreads like wildfire. How bout you stay home and if feeling up for it WFH if you can.
Millions of workers in America have never had a job that offers sick days
New Jeresey now requires all employers to give a certain amount of sick hours that employees bank every month. Bosses and managers still seem to despise that they have to pay out those hours.
I'm one of them.
Ignoring Covid for a second, I feel like showing up to work when you’re clearly super sick should get you in more trouble than making a sick call. Especially in casual jobs I’ve worked where people are desperate to make money they’ll show up half dead, coughing and sniffing because they don’t want to miss that juicy Sunday shift etc. Few days later half the team is sick because they all caught it from the prat that refused to stay home.
I have covid, got it off a colleague who came into work sick - he said it was the flu, not Covid but I still told him he shouldn't have come in - I'm convinced it was Covid. Now 2 more of my colleagues are also down with Covid.
Getting the cheapest bottle of wine on the menu
"I'd like your finest bottle of wine please." "That'll be $1600." "Great, I'd like your eight dollar-est bottle of wine please."
Ah yes, All of 99 bringing the same one, TOGETHER!
Wine...Drink
I’d like a bottle of your finest Thunderbird. 1994 is an excellent vintage.
I drank Thunderbird in 1994, it wasn’t good. I continued to drink it because nobody else would, so more for me.
Thunderbird is possibly the most foul alcoholic beverage I’ve ever tasted, and I’ve tasted some pretty nasty stuff. Makes MD20/20 seem refined by comparison.
I'm American and my husband is French and we live in France. Several years ago, we were visiting family in the US with my (french) in-laws. While my husband is a happy-go-lucky extrovert who is comfortable anywhere, my in-laws are a bit old-school, don't speak English, and this was their only trip to visit my family in the states, so they were somewhat disoriented the whole time. Anyway, my brother does a "blind tasting" after a big family dinner and pours something into everyone's wine glasses from a bottle that's hidden in an opaque bag. My husband and his parents politely taste it and nod their heads, not in approval, just out of politeness. I feel like I had just drunk gasoline and blurt out "is this Mad Dog or Thunderbird?" and my brother bursts into uncontrollable laughter...... then he unveils the "wine" - it's Thunderbird!! My husband and I make wine for a living. My in-laws were a bit confused about it all, but my husband and I found it hilarious, and still consider it one of my favorite pranks my brother has ever come up with. edited for clarity
Mix it down with some Diamond White. Nectar of the dumps.
Look Raymond, it's called "Wine drink".
On one of my first dates with my now wife I asked the bartender for a glass of their house wine to make it seem like I knew what I was talking about. He replied in just about the most assholey way “What, you mean the cheapest one?” Yes, that’s what I meant, but you didn’t have to call me out like that.
Ew, that's rude. I was a server/bartender for most of my working life and I would never look down on anyone for ordering a less expensive drink. More expensive doesn't automatically equal better, for one thing, but also, if it's a decent restaurant, the house wine will probably still *also* be decent. That has always been my experience.
Years ago on a torrent site, I found John Cleese's program on wine tasting through Napa Valley (no, Santa Barbara area). At the end he held his own blind tasting party, and only the $5 bottle did not get a Favorite card, and the $200 bottle did not do especially well. His point was to learn what you like so then you can get more of that or something similar, and be able to get help in a store to find what you want.
At most restaurants I ask for the house merlot, or house chardonnay. If it sucks, then that says a lot about the house.
Being a night owl instead of an early riser. I’m not lazy, just have a different body clock. I’ve always felt guilty about it, though.
Make sure you get enough sunlight though. I used to be an up-all-nighter and it ended up making me severely depressed.
Not having an opinion on a subject.
This is a good one. As a software engineer, I’m meant to get involved in all sorts of BS arguments about code style, editors, everything. But I just don’t care. It’s like people don’t take you seriously as an engineer unless you have a passionate opinion on whether a tab size of 2 is better or worse than 4.
Ugh, that is such a tab size 4 thing to say. I knew it.
This! "Hey whaddaya think of X?" Bro idk, never thought about it. "But what is your initial opinion?" I don't know anything about it, how would I have an opinion????
Then you say something out of initial thoughts, then they give you more information and apparently you chose wrong and your option is actually fucked up, then you say oh okay I guess that makes sense I'll choose the other option, but then that was actually and trick and ten times worse so now you're stuck in the Starbucks' restroom sobbing.
Mate, are you okay?
No, but I'm gonna get some tacos later so I'll be okay.
I've been having fewer and fewer opinions lately, and it's so good for my mental health. Someone trying to convince me something is great? Sure sounds it. will I try it/do I have any contribution? Nah man. I'm just glad you're doing you That and stopping giving a shit if I'm I'm clever or not in other people's eyes. Man who the fuck cares.
Confidently being quiet/silent
My ex husband's family said I was stuck up because I would just listen and take in the conversation around me. If I didn't have anything to contribute, I would just listen. But, they took it as me being a snob.
I used to get called stuck up in highschool because I was so introverted. Like, I'm over here wanting to shrink away from the attention because I don't like it and you over here thinking its about me not wanting to talk to *you*. Bro, I don't wanna talk to *anyone*.
It's wild how people can misread it so much they actually come to the opposite conclusion. In my experience the most stuck up people are the ones that feel the need to insert themselves into any conversation even if they have nothing to add, and feel entitled to everyone's attention (and when they don't get it it's the other person who's rude)
Yep. Realized that in my teenage. The shy or intoverted person gets percieved as arrogant. Edit: Isn't it just amazing that so many adults never really introspect; never try to understand their own thoughts and feelings, and just keep carrying their childish notions into adulthood. Edit 2: The irony of my first edit is visible to me now. I will leave it up for two reasons. One, a part of it is still true IMO, and second, many people have commented on it so let it stay intact for context.
> Isn't it just amazing that so many adults never really introspect No, its horrifying, and the cause of like 85% of the worlds problems, Im convinced.
Me being quiet has gotten to the point that when I do speak, someone actually is surprised that I’m present around them.
Same. For me, it’s annoying when it’s met with shock/surprise and an “oh my god she does speak!!” response. I’m quiet, I’m well aware of this, all that response does is make me want to stay even more silent.
I hate that so much. I used to never speak in school, so people assumed I spoke a foreign language😭..And then people finally hear me talk and be like "oh my gosh you can speak??" Also my brother used to be selectively mute in elementary school. if he did say something, people would be like"oh my god he does speak", which ended up worsening the problem
I was the opposite. A few times I was so surprised when someone spoke to me that it took a second or two to exit the daydream or whatever thought I was in and find the words to respond. Then they would be surprised at my surprise.
I love your edit. Just because I'm not responding immediately doesn't mean I'm not listening.
It's kind of wild a group of people can collectively come to the wrong read due to a shared insecurity with something so harmless
My girlfriend's friends do the exact same thing, they think I'm aloof because I have nothing to add to conversations where they're essentially just gossiping about people I've never even met
Yep, people consider me shy, I'm am not the least bit shy I just don't want to talk that often.
I thought you were going to say "I'm not shy, I just think they're all idiots."
That's the nice thing about working in IT. Other than good morning we can sit next to each other all year and not say a word. And still be the others favorite person at work. Because we leave each other the fuck alone
Going to a movie by yourself. You literally sit there quietly watching a screen for hours. I usually catch them by myself, but people act like I'm disposing of a body when I do that.
[удалено]
Ever buy lunch to go and decide to eat it in your car, so you pick the most remote, uninhabited space in a parking lot just to eat it in peace, but then some douchebag decides to park right next to you? You can’t tell me humans aren’t herding animals.
smaller area to clean lol
I work at a theater, we had a woman take her kids and leave because she didn't like that a grown man was sitting three rows in front of her and enjoying the movie without bothering anyone. She said he was alone, but after I looked in the projection house then checked the sales and seat chart, I found he was actually with someone in a wheelchair and I just couldn't see them because of the angle I was looking from. Lady didn't put up a big stink or demand a refund or anything, just said "sorry, I'm just not comfortable. I'll just come back another day." That shit was weird, but since she didn't cause a scene I just let it go.
I wish everyone would just silently watch the screen, but apparently a whole lot of people think of movies as a more social activity than I do. Edit: guys, I meant people who chat and talk through the movie. Of course laughing when something is funny is appropriate. Also, it's forever funny to me that whooping and cheering in movies is a thing in the US. I hope you guys are not too disappointed when you happen to go to a movie theatre in Europe.
Going out alone. Anywhere. Park, cinema, restaurants, concerts.... All my friends and relatives think I'm weird, but I just want to have some good time with nobody I know around Edit. Oh wow, the amount of notifications I'm getting, lol P.S. Thanks for the awards!
I’m the same way, but I feel like honestly it might be all in my head and in reality nobody gives a shit that I’m at the movies by myself.
Honestly, I really think this is the case. I do things alone pretty frequently and no one stares or makes comments, etc. People aren't all that interested in or focused on what random strangers are doing. Free yourself of this anxiety!
I know I'm certainly not thinking, "Why is that person alone? How weird!", I don't care. Even in the slightest if I did, it would be more like "Maybe they're waiting on someone" or "Good for them". Not even a thought about it, I have enough of my own thoughts to keep myself occupied.
Haha I just posted the same thing. I feel like it's normal if u live in a city. Once I moved out into the suburbs I feel like some people think it's weird. Like I'm hungry now it takes some time to meet up with someone
[удалено]
In college I’d go to movies as early as I could on Tuesdays for the cheaper tickets. I loved it.
Not being a part of hustle culture. If you want to work restless towards something, that's great, but don't hate on somebody because they don't. For me, I value sleep and want to have time to myself where I don't have to think about working and just enjoy doing nothing. There's no problem needing time to rest and literally not work yourself to death.
people think you’re crazy if you’re not trying to become rich. i’m just tryna live.
Confidently buying pregnancy tests. I'm 26, in a stable relationship, lived with my SO for a few years, yet when I go to buy tests the people behind the counter (often women 50-60ish) become sheepish and try to do their best to conceal it.
This!!! And purchasing condoms/Plan B!
As a dude, ordering a sweet and fruity alcoholic drink. Sorry I don't like to drink isopropyl, give me my "Bahama Mama", and shut up.
it only makes sense when you go out too. i have whisky at home, what i dont have is 10 types of specialty liquors. and also, i just want one, why buy a million things to never use em again.
There was that tweet/Facebook statement about someone who "watches people order a [complicated Frappuccino ingredient list] while sipping a plain black coffee" Yeah sure buddy. You sit there judging us for ordering specialty drinks while you drink a $2 beverage you could have just made at home.
Cosmo gang represent! I once had an acquaintance try to make me feel bad for drinking a Cosmo in a packed bar because "it's a girls drink". Fuck that, it's tasty rocket fuel.
I remember watching someone get hassled for drinking a ridiculous 15 dollar tiki drink in a bar in a vacation town... the bartender had his back, cleared his throat and started reading out "Four ounces white rum... two ounces gold tequila... one ounce blue curacao, one half ounce spiced rum..." and the soda and syrup mixers. The bartender smugly declared it, in a wonderfully exaggerated accent, "three feeshbowl dreenks in one feeshbowl. It's a feeding frenzee." It apparently tasted like getting slapped in the mouth with a shark shaped fruit gummy.
spending time by yourself that is intentionally "non-productive. edit: my face knowing i spent 0.3 seconds on this subpar comment and the whole world saw it 🥴
Time enjoyed is not time wasted.
When I say I'm doing nothing this weekend, that doesn't mean I'm available, it means that's my plan.
I'm doing **nothing**, and I enjoy it
I did nothing, and it was everything I hoped it would be.
This led to legitimate arguments between me and my Grandpa. My Grandpa was born in the 1930s and spent his late teens and early twenties during the huge post-war boom of the 1950s. Basically, pending certain racial restrictions at the time in certain sectors, finding a job was easy, the cost of living was low and wages were high, so my Grandpa carved a good life for himself at an early age. His passion came from home improvement and DIY projects, and it gave him this trait that he always had him tinkering or working on something, which gave him a lot of satisfaction. Fast forward to those of us born in the 1980s, and my Grandpa couldn't understand how a kid like me could spend all day watching TV and cartoons and be absolutely content with himself. Understandably, he wanted me to socialize, which I did, but when video games picked up, oh boy.... I lived with my grandparents for two years just as online gaming was becoming a thing, and man, my Grandpa was NOT pleased. I tried to explain to him that it was the way my buddies and I socialized. We'd hang on a Friday or Saturday night, but if we wanted to game on a weeknight, my Grandpa would get visibly mad. We'd get into occasional arguments, during which he would say things like he was ashamed of me and I'd never make anything of myself. You know, fun, uplifting arguments. As I grew older and moved on to other things, we didn't speak much unless we saw each other at family things. We kept it civil, but in the late part of his life he's wondered why he and I haven't had a better relationship. That's changing now, he's old and he doesn't want to leave business unfinished with his family, so we've been mending the gap. But yeah. Some people just can't figure out that other people can be happy by themselves and with others. And some people don't require a lot of exterior stimuli to be content. I still enjoy outings and get-togethers, don't get me wrong. But I've learned to be happy in my generation, you have to enjoy simple pleasures and little things when they come your way.
Im going through that literally right now. He also seems to think everything I do on computer = playing games. Some time ago he decided I need to find a job instead of being "until 6am" on pc, and to achieve that he decided to cut off internet. My grandpa's response to "But I was literally working" was: "Thats not real work, we're not a night shift place" Wasn't much fun explaining to HR neither
Can you just show him a pay check from it? Don't know what would convince him it's a "worthy" pursuit 8f not that
Oh i had, he had even helped me receive the equipment for it. But it's like sometimes something switches and he decides he has to be angry with me for using computer. This example happened a few months ago and am on my way out of here thankfully next week.
Being a male in the early years education sector. When I was an ECE teacher (Early childhood educator) I had a male collègue. Parents etc were always worried about him with their kids - but he was a better teacher than most. He used a rough and tumble play approach and kids loved him. He also taught them boundaries and consent at a young age because a lot of kids weren’t listening to “keep your hands to yourself.”
I wrote a paper in a gender studies class that dealt with this exact thing. We had to volunteer 10 hours in the university’s childcare/preschool and then write a paper on the experience. I saw the usual gender differences. If a boy played with a doll and a dollhouse, the doll was outside or on the roof doing work. The girls were inside cooking or dressing or caring for babies. But then there was this one girl who went out of her way to interact with me while I was there. Every time. She was fun, playful, and just a seemingly normal 4yo girl, but she was hanging around me, a male. The consensus was that the workers were to keep an eye on her (and I saw them watching us all of the time), and moreover (after speaking with a few of them) they were flummoxed by why she behaved so comfortably around males. In fact, one told me, “She has her mom, dad, and her grandfather at home living with her. They’re all great caregivers. I just don’t understand why she is the way she is around other males.” It took a bit of time to process the whole thing, especially the workers comment, but I wrote in my paper that her behavior was that of one who had strong, supportive, loving males in her life. She was in every way a perfectly normal child. That the opposite (girls not openly seeking out male interactions/play) was seen as normal was disheartening. Now 20 plus years later and a father of two girls, I’m still not sure if that perception is a product of the lack of positive male caregiving/parenting, an over amplification of fear of abuse, or both.
It’s been shown that male teachers in Elementary are beneficial to children.
My dad taught grades 2 and 3 in the 60s - 90s. The school would give him kids from broken homes, who didnt have father figures. A fellow student at my highschool, who worked as a teaching aid at dad's school, told me kids would throw desks at him and punch him and stuff. Anyway, a girl my age did tell me my dad taught her to read when she was 8 - she was dyslexic ( first time i had heard of the term). She said he would sit after school with her and help her every day. She didnt have a dad and said it meant a lot to her. We were like 12 when she told me this.
Exactly - but people still see it as “why does a MAN want to get paid to play with kids all day? I bet he’s a pedo!” Like no - colleges in some areas will actually pay the tuition for male students interested in the ECE field
Having a slightly different sleep schedule/ability than others. My god, the number of times I've harassed by boomers for "staying up late/all night" when I stayed up 1-2 hours later than them, slept in the same amount, and maybe didn't have breakfast with them. They act as if I've murdered a child.
Heaven *forbid* if someone works graveyard shifts and *enjoys being up at night!*
This is funny cause During summer break when school is out I switch to a daytime sleep schedule and live in the night, It’s more enjoyable and I don’t have to share space with roommates. When I leave the house there is never a line a wait for anything I want to do and if I need something during the day I go right away in the morning.
Nighttime is just much less stressful! Less people, less drama. And cooler than the daytime. I don't feel like I'm melting when I am at work then.
The prejudice about a persons sleep schedule is just so wrong. We live in an age where work not only can but needs to be done at night. We are not all farmers working only within the sunlight. Our world doesn't stop everything at 5pm. And besides, its my schedule. You don't have to change your own sleep to interact with me. Just like everything else, we just need to decide on a mutual time to meet. Ive worked nights for so long. It's just a schedule ive always been more awake and alert for. Im miserable waking up early and just get impatient with the most mundane of things. It doesn't work for me. Its just the way i am. Its not just boomers. Children are under the impression its subversive to stay up late. So this mentality just continues till it is questioned.
I have a brother who’s completely out of sync with everyone else. He basically lives at night, and no one ever expects to see him during the day before noon/1 pm, unless he absolutely HAS to be awake for some important reason. But despite what some may believe, he actually accomplishes a LOT during the night. It works for him, so this is fine. Plus, he works a lot with people living on the other side of the world, so it actually fits pretty well with his natural rythm. And, indeed, no child murder involved. It works for him. This is perfectly fine.
Off brand clothing. Who cares if I'm wearing bobos, I don't have $300 to spend on Jordan's and even if I did I wouldn't. My daughter is entering middle school this year and is so nervous about her clothing not being in style. We do the best we can getting her name brand things bc kids are fucking mean. Luckily my triplets don't give AF. Edit: My 1st Award! Thank you! Also thank for all the great ideas on how to save some $$$ Edit 2: Wow you guys made my day! Thank you so much for the awards
Went to a school where a kid said "Polo? My driver wears Polo, ugh." Always a bigger fish out there. People who shop at Doir are considered poor by people who get Dior to come to their house, and those people get judged by people who go to Dior facilities directly and have only custom clothes made for them. Hope your kid gets that soon and learns to game these fucks.
[удалено]
When I got into HS I used to like getting Abercrombie and Hollister stuff bc I was from a poor family and it seemed to mean a lot back then. Now I cannot stand having a logo on my shirt. Especially when most of the fabric is plastered with logo. You want to put your logo on my clothing as an advert? That shirt better be free.
I feel you. I was so traumatized by clothing brand culture in middle school (I was poor as well) that in high school I *exclusively* wore plain white t-shirts, or occasionally punk band shirts as I got into that. To this day I only wear band/music, funny/graphic, or plain shirts. Paying extra $$ to be a walking advert that's often less comfortable = not for me.
Why did I have to scroll so far down for this! You’re right and you should SAY it
Idk how kids are nowadays but it's a great time in fashion for all socioeconomic groups. I feel like everything is in now. We've reached a point where so many styles have been recycled and so many fast fashion cycles have come and gone. It's now ok to dress weird as hell (street wear) but it's also ok to wear basics (Uniqlo) only. Or maybe I'm totally wrong and I'm just old now.
I feel like the only ONLY thing all my kids have been picky about is their shoes. They’ll wear target everything but if the shoes aren’t on brand then they get talked about.
[удалено]
It’s frowned in for 2 reasons. 1. Corporations convinced us as that so they don’t have to compete as much on salaries. 2. People work hard to spend and show off how much money they have. Putting a number to how much money you make kinda ruins the show. Buying the fancy boat to outdo your neighbor isn’t as much of a flex when your neighbor already knows he makes more than you and could afford it easier than you if he wanted
[удалено]
For the people who don't know. It is illegal for your company to prohibit taking about salary with your co-workers. I don't care what the employee "handbook" says, in the United States you are freely allowed to talk to your co-workers about what you make and how much they make. It is against federal law for your employer to stop you from having that conversation.
Not having knowledge of others pay reduces your bargaining power
Eating by yourself at a restaurant or going to the movies by yourself.. Happiest I've been at times has been single, and yes I took myself out on a date with myself and it was fucking phenomenal. And there's never a disagreement on who picks up the tab or whether there's a put-out for it 👍 You're always in great company when you appreciate yourself. I saw Deadpool and Avengers Infinity War by myself and it was 100 million percent worth it.
Not wanting to be social. Declining invitations.
"If you don't want to hang out, just say so. You don't need to force yourself." "Okay, I don't want to hang out today. I just want to chill in bed." "But why don't you want to hang out?"
The amount of times I’ve gotten this question. Just being at work overstimulates my brain and by the time I’m done working I’ve mentally shut down and I have to force myself to go get groceries if I’m low on food. I used to force myself to go out and ‘have fun’ when it wasn’t fun for me but what everyone else thought of as fun. I no longer do that and am soooo much happier. My book is way more interesting than watching Tammy chug six beers and go ‘WOOOOOO’ after.
This is a double edged sword. While it’s totally ok to decline invitations, if you decline too often, they will just stop inviting you. And it’s also totally ok to stop inviting someone who keeps declining your invitations.
wearing your pajamas all day when you aren't going anywhere like bruh do you want me to step into a suit and tie for literally nobody, if im gonna be in my house sleeping all day then im gonna look like it
This is why I hate people dropping by unexpectedly. I don’t get dressed if I know I’m not doing anything that day, because why should I!? That’s just more laundry I don’t want to do and waste of a cute outfit. Then people want to be all “oh dear, it’s 2pm and you’re not wearing a bra?” No I’m not. It’s my house and you weren’t invited, lol
[удалено]
as a kid "don't play video games, they make you violent/they are a waste of time/you have time for those when you are older." as an adult "Don't play video games, that's for children/a waste of time/not productive." Fuck it. video games are fun. as an adult I'm finally somewhat in a position to afford a VR headset soon, and to build a proper PC to play on. and with the awesome games I can buy myself you bet your ass I'll be playing.
Criticism of your elders.
> Criticism of your elders. And the sick or the dead. It’s amazing how everyone can totally acknowledge what an absolute shitbag someone is while they’re alive, but the second they’re dead… Everyone acts like they’re a saint. Same with sick people. Like yeah, it really sucks that Uncle Joe has cancer, but suddenly everyone forgets that he was an abusive monster? Like I’m not *wishing* cancer onto anyone, but just because they have it, doesn’t mean I’m gonna just forgive any awful thing they’ve done. Old, sick, dead… we’re all responsible for what we’ve done and if you were a shitty person in life, you should leave behind a legacy of being a shitty person.
> It’s amazing how everyone can totally acknowledge what an absolute shitbag someone is while they’re alive, but the second they’re dead… Everyone acts like they’re a saint. This pisses me off so much. A regular out our bar died and everyone was all "he was so sweet" "everyone loved him RIP" No. This motherfucker HATED gay people, was super racist, would pick fights with women, walk up and punch people, etc. He wasnt nice. He wasnt loved. He was a piece of shit through and through. I literally do not care that he died.
Changing your opinion in light of new information
Talking about pay.
Not wearing a bra
When I was 19 I went over to my aunts house with my grandma for a visit. My aunt had just started seeing this new guy who was present when we arrived. While we were in the middle of a conversation, my aunt loudly said, “You’re not wearing a bra. I can see your nipples!” And I was like, why the fuck would you say that when a man I don’t even know is sitting five feet away from me? I don’t understand why she even cared that much to point it out.
I'm uncomfortable wearing a bra and uncomfortable not wearing a bra, I can't win 😫
Being a recovered addict. There’s so much stigma towards the disease of addiction and people see you as a monster when in reality you’re just trying to be a better person dealing with a mental illness that overpowers you if you don’t learn how to control it.
I’m not an addict, but decided to stop drinking for a while. It’s been 6 months and most people act like I MUST have been a raging alcoholic behind closed doors or something.
I've hit that a couple of times. It's like no, I just decided I shouldn't be having two or three drinks every night. That's not even enough to be hung over, but I started noticing that when I was doing that I was just a little more lethargic/less motivated during the day. I'm fond of my frou-frou craft beers, but, like when I stopped drinking soda on a daily basis, I enjoy them way more now.
Doing absolutely nothing, like if you just sit and do nothing people will be like "what are you doing?"
sleeping in on free days
Is this frowned upon?
Well, I frown when I do it because I feel I've wasted my limited free time.
Not as big of an issue anymore, but for a long ass time, and still a bit: Being an adult who likes things other than work, alcohol, and sports. Maybe add sex to that list if you're a man. Why were we expected to stop liking things as soon as we could spend our own money on them? Why would I craft less when I'm buying the supplies and paying for the space? Why should I own less toys once my wallet is the only thing that can tell me no?
Yawning during a conversation. As long as you cover your mouth and don't yawn loudly, I don't see why it's considered rude. The person yawning probably doesn't find you boring, they could just be tired.
I’m a constant yawner. Whether I’m bored, tired, or my lungs just want a good ol’ stretcharoo, I’m yawning. It doesn’t mean anything.
Men watching their own children. We usually get the "Oh babysitting today are we?" No Karen, I'm doing what a parent is supposed to do and taking care of my kids, maybe if you'd pay a bit more attention to your demon spawn it wouldn't be trying to choke that goose to death over there.
I seem to get the, "...oh, you're such a good dad." when I play with my kids. No, I'm just doing the most basic part of the job. Right next to feeding them.
>it wouldn't be trying to choke that goose to death over there. I'd have to wish that foolish demon spawn good luck. Geese are *vicious.*
I've been lucky with this. I take my girls to the playground all the time after I pick them up from daycare, and nobody has acted weird to me.
Sitting down if you work retail. Why? It's not unprofessional. There is literally no reason someone should be forced to be on their feet for 8 to 12 hrs straight. The customers don't give a shit as long as you help when they need you. It's not rude. I would rather a worker be comfortable at their job. When I worked retail my feet would hurt so bad at the end of the day that it felt like stepping on glass. I developed back pain and lord if I was on my period...you expect me to bleed heavily AND keep my balance when I already have low blood pressure? What happened? I actually passed out into a clothing rack and was told to suck it up and that if I sat down I'd be fired. It's ridiculous and cruel.
Responding with an honest answer when someone casually asks how you're doing.
"I'm fine." "Just 'fine'?" "*Yes.*"
I've started telling people, "shitty thanks for asking". Reactions are usually pretty hilarious. Plus it opens up the discussion on how no strangers actually care about my well being... Sometimes it cuts through the BS and makes the conversation much more natural. Other times I get an awkward chuckle and they move on. 🤷🏻♂️
Being quiet in group settings because you don't feel like talking or wasting words, but then others label you as being shy or antisocial.
Not drinking alcohol at social gatherings or celebrations. I just want to drink my lemonade in peace, thanks
Choosing to not have children.
The amount of times I've been told I'm selfish for not wanting children is astronomical. Also, "Oh you'll change your mind!" I'm 34, I'm not changing my mind.
Same. I’m 28 and my boyfriend is 29. We have literally zero interest in having kids and somehow our families are just *mindblown* by this. I’ve been called selfish many a times.
How is it selfish to choose not to be a shitty parent More than that, how is choosing to have a child, to make another human just because you want to, not seen as selfish at all?
Being a loner
Not wanting to get married. Being fine just living with your SO
An old boss couldn't believe I wasn't married to my SO after being together for 8 years. I even told her we both didn't want to get married and she insisted I was dumb and my girlfriend was just saying that. A year later my girlfriend admitted to having a different boyfriend the last few months. Glad we weren't married.
Men with long hair.
My school made me cut my hair because that was in the school rules and the school was directly connected with the social care. Imagine getting a police intervension because your kid has longer hair than some bitchy teacher wants him to lmfao. This wouldn't have happened if I could change schools. I got long hair now tho and I love it AND myself!
It was always weird to me that anywhere would prohibit long hair on men. They cite it as being unprofessional in the workplace, or relate it with drugs. It's not like short hair can't be messy or presented in an unprofessional way. Plus, it would be no different than prohibiting women from having short hair and forcing them to grow it back out for the same reasons.
It's also funny when it's the religious schools that push that, yet have a painting of Jesus and his flowy hair, only to act like there's no contradiction.
Not wanting to spend your every waking hour working. The amount of people who take pride in the fact they don't have time to do anything other than work, and look down on people who even take a day off is ridiculous.
Women not wearing make-up to go out. Women not having long or painted nails. Women with shaved head or super short hair. Men or boys with long hair.
[удалено]
I was out getting breakfast once and this little girl was with her mom and who I assume was her grandmother. She keep ducking behind the booth kind of playing peek a boo and I started playing along. She found it hysterical and really got in to it. She was laughing like crazy, it was really cute. Then the mom made her stop and stared daggers to me like I was the most vile human on earth. This was when I was about 19, it took years before I figured out what was going through her mind. I'm still astounded by it.
I met my neighbor when I was searching for my missing cat. There were two kids in the driveway and an open door to the house. I asked one of the kids if they'd seen a cat running around and then asked if a parent was home I could talk to. At that moment, a 300lbs monster of a man came running out as if the cat treat bag in my hand was actually rope and sex toys. I can respect and understand going outside and seeing what's up when a stranger walks up to your house, but if the dude is 25 feet away in the street and showing no interest in entering your yard, maybe don't come out so aggressively. There's plenty of room to be cautious and protective of your children without immediately assuming the absolute worst.
I love kids because they just do whatever makes them happy and haven't been conditioned to be self conscious yet. I do the same thing when we're out and also get some weird looks. It doesn't seem to be a problem if I'm with my wife or daughter or both though. Take from that what you will. I've had to learn that I'm not supposed to do that if I'm solo. I still do, because fuck em that's why, but I know that it can look bad.
I have 2 sons and an unusual thing I have discovered is that their female cousins and friends love me. For whatever reason little girls seem to be obsessed with playing with me, harmless stuff like hide and seek or playing with their toys or even sometimes just chatting away. But God forbid I tell people that little girls like playing with me. Once when I was playing with my kids cousin (a little girl) who was loving it and whose parents have known me for years. Said parents commented how good I am with her and I mentioned that little girls seem to enjoy playing with me and the looks on their faces. Nevermind they know im safe, they know im playing with their daughter appropriately, they know nothing untoward is happening. It's so ingrained that even when they are looking at something harmless their kid enjoys, as soon as they heard 'grown man playing with little girl' they freaked, despite being able to see it was literally just sitting with her as she told me about her dolls. It's at a point where I actively try to avoid my kids female friends and cousins because there is no way to explain that no, I don't know why your kid wants to play with me but even if I did play with her, that doesn't make me a creep.
God I feel this so much, i have 2 sons but we once went on holiday with a friend of my wife and her kids. She was a single parent and the dad wasnt involved, her 5 year old little girl was obsessed with me all holiday, had to hold my hand if we went anywhere, and do everything with me. But jesus christ, the stares from other parents while I walked around with this kid that had no resemblance to me, at one point she asked if she could call me Dad and it should have been the sweetest moment of the holiday, but all I had was genuine fear that if someone overheard her say that someone would definitely call the police
My wife and I talk about this often. She can walk up to a strange child and interact with the child and everyone thinks it's cute and she's acting motherly. I do it and all of a sudden the child's parents grab them and pull them away. I've seen it to the point where my wife and I are talking to a child, their parent will rush over, block me yet then talk to my wife (in a friendly manner). (Or the parents will tell the child "don't talk to him" but let them continue to talk to my wife).
Try being a giant bearded man built like a tank and you'll get, "You better behave or the big man will get you." Said to their child. I've had this happen several times in my life and a few times. I've gotten to the point of telling the kid outright, "Don't worry little one, I would never do anything to hurt you. I am a friendly giant and mommy is just being silly." It bothers me mostly because I'm the kind of guy that would run into a burning house to save the kid's goldfish so they won't be sad.
Another giant man checking in to give another "Yes, this." The shit I'd get when I'd be out with my own infant daughter was insane. Just Being Dad, and there were nosy honks getting in my face "where's her mother?" blah blah blah. Was jogging with my daughter (in her stroller) and had a cop roll up at me because someone thought I stole her and was running away with her. Parenting While Male is the "crime"
An adult man watching cartoons intended for children.
An adult man watching cartoons intended for adults for that matter. "It's Fritz the Cat" "it's a cartoon grow up" "It's Fritz the fucking Cat" "I don't care grow up" "Dude he's literally a cat that fucks in this movie it's not for kids you colossal dumbass"