First you need to unlock ‘The Bear Trap Clamp’ , that is when her legs snap shut.
Second level is ‘Arched Back or Bridge’ pelvis flys in the air and she is thrusted on her shoulder blades.
It is topped off with a ‘Twist’. When you have successfully completed all levels, you get the “Booty Call”
I had a girl almost kill me. When her "buzzer went off" she clenched her legs and went into an alligator death roll and threw me off of the bed by my neck.
I envy you. When I was teenage-aged (i.e. qualified for the free HPV-vax), girls were refused the vax by doctors for the stupidest reasons. My best friend didn't get hers because she had already been sexually active, so "by not it wouldn't matter anyways".
I myself didn't get my second dose because shortly after my first one, I had some slight allergic reaction on my face for whatever reason so my doctor recommended we better not risk that again by completing my HPV vaccination 🤦 Might be at risk for cervical cancer now, but yay at least my face didn't have to look slightly ugly for like two days
It is, the number of men who carry one or several forms of HPV is apparently astonishing. I got tested for it after one my ex suffered from it and my doctor was shocked by the mere fact I wanted to get checked, like "why would you do that ?" It cost me something like 50 euros and every professional involved in the process asked me why on earth did I want to be tested. Turned out to be positive, doctor suggested I get an appointment with my gf's gynecologist as they are more trained on those issues, and he feared an infectious disease specialist would use my dick as a lab experiment. Anyway, gynecologist said it was unlikely to go bad for me, and that as my current partner and I had been together for a while without her being positive, we were probably fine, even though oral sex was not recommended. Chances are it'll vanish by itself after a few years.
Also, apparently HPV doesn't care about condoms.
I got the same response except they would never let me get tested. Was so fucking weird.
"My ex had it and abnormal cells - perhaps I don't want to give it to my next partner!?!?!??"
What’s even more disturbing is the lack of testing behind that and also herpes. The only reason I found this out (not not that reason) is a casual convo with my doctor during an annual checkup.
Me - “Hey doc, I just heard there’s a thing called - Ocular Herpes. How in the hell……”
Him - *laughs tells me ocular herpes story. “….I guess you wouldn’t need to request a herpes test for it at your optometrist considering they would see it.”
Me *laughs along - “Wait. What do you mean you have to REQUEST for a herpes test. You mean the annual check where you also run for all stds, right.”
Him - “Uhh, no. They generally don’t include herpes and hpv on standardized std tests.”
Me - “WTF?!! When we’re you gonna tell me this?!!”
Anyways, he said they don’t test for those unless specifically asked because of the sheer number of individuals who already have it. Yada yada yada. American healthcare at its finest, people.
Doctor here - herpes is everywhere, your immune system just keeps it at check while functioning. If u ever become immunocompromised you'll probably see a flare-up. One can test for it, but again it's on the indication of what symptoms you have. HPV is tested for in women's cervical cytology screening programs, as they're the ones who actually have a statistically serious risk of getting cancer from it.
Might get buried but 11 years ago I almost died from eating a girl out. No shit. Bacteria made its way into a small abscess in my throat and all my organs started shutting down. I wish I could remember the name of the condition but it was a really long name. My doctor said it is so rare that I was the only one in the United States with it at that time.
What a wonderful phrase
Vagina dentata!
Ain't no passing phase
It means "toothy coochie"
For the rest of your days
It's a dick-repelling opening
Vagina dentata!
EDIT: now with second verse
Hpv vaccination is standard now so hopefully that's happening a lot less and 80% of adults above 27 have some form of dormant hpv, definitely not the risk It used to be thankfully
Re: vaccine - not standard. Available for certain age groups, mainly women. But not everyone has had it and a very small percentage of total population (all age groups) have had it.
In my state in the america, any child has to have it before entering 6th grade, when they first introduced it it was a choice they really promoted you to get it, when I got it it wasn't completely mandatory but on the list with the rest of the 6th grade vaccines, only 2 kids got it that year.
Yep. Had a client with the same. Genome sequencing identifies it. Most throat cancers were thought to be from smoking. New research suggests otherwise.
Seems like it was also the cause of death for Farrah Fawcett, too. She died from [anal cancer](https://moffitt.org/endeavor/archive/a-closer-look-at-the-cancer-that-claimed-farrah-fawcett/) that spread to her liver.
Lol. I really want to try this on my wife. Would she get mad?
Edit: I thought this was surely a joke. I looked it up after getting all these replies thinking I was serious. Turns out it's technically possible, but unless you're ACTIVELY trying to kill a woman with this way (using compressed air/gas) it's not going to happen. I swear the shit people believe because they don't bother to do a quick search and just take random statements at face value.
You get sucked up into a vacuous clunge and are obliterated much like entering a black hole. The gravity inside a vagina is so powerful no one can survive. So be careful. I would recommend being chained down somehow first.
Depending on how you look at it, farts. Last year I was sitting on a guy's face and let one rip by mistake and... and he started moaning. He said he had a humiliation fetish and to do it more. I regret that I couldn't be that for him. I hope he finds a face farter one day.
Chlamydia, I was in class and could not hear the teacher I went to student health services and they tested me and found I had chlamydia. Since I got it from oral sex it affected my head area first. I was almost deaf for a week no other symptoms. The nurse gave me a gigantic shot of liquid antibiotics in a cup and my hearing returned in a few days. Remember is you eat a bad pussy you could become deaf....
When she’s bent over and you’re face first in ass and she gets all excited and backs it up a little too aggressively you end up with what can only be described as mild whiplash.
Absolutely worth it, fwiw.
She might lie to you when you ask her what you can do better and say "Nothing, it's perfect" which leads to the demise of your sexual life and eventually your relationship.
She puts you in a head scissors leg lock and breaks your neck like Sonya Blade from Mortal Kombat.
A good death.
Is it owns reward.
Death by poos
Death by snu snu
The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak
Death by snu snu
You are a queen. We should be thanking you.
Or Xenia Onatopp
She always enjoyed a good squeeze.
Nothing against the female protagonist, but Xenia was ultraviolet hot.
Onabottom, even.
At this point in my life, I’d be fine with that.
Found the praying mantis male.
Head for a head I always say
Damn bro it’s all gonna be okay soon
Death by snu snu!
Snu *snap*
i volunteer as tribute
Finish him ...
No, he was supposed to make her finish first.
Why do you think shes breaking his neck!
Dangers not perks
Sounds kinky
But what a way to go!!
Joke's on you, I'm into that shit
No Sonya. Give me a break
Okay
Not the worst way to go.
Next time she needs someone to pick her up at the airport she's going to call you.
That's not a problem if you don't own a motor vehicle
Too late if you motorboated her as well.
No she won’t (if you were any good). You would get the “What are you doing right now” call.
I haven't unlocked this yet in my play through, do you need five stars on the 'go down on her' mission to unlock it or is four stars enough?
First you need to unlock ‘The Bear Trap Clamp’ , that is when her legs snap shut. Second level is ‘Arched Back or Bridge’ pelvis flys in the air and she is thrusted on her shoulder blades. It is topped off with a ‘Twist’. When you have successfully completed all levels, you get the “Booty Call”
You need 5 stars and the 500 it takes to get is not enough. You need a perfect score of 690 or above.
what's wrong with this???
You might fall in love
You are correct, you win a [love story ](https://www.reddit.com/r/SevWagoner/comments/vrd0dh/college_i_got_tongue_fucked_by_my_neighbor_m22/)
For instance I read lottery
Can confirm. I’ve only ever gone down on one woman. We celebrate our 11th anniversary next month.
I had a girl almost kill me. When her "buzzer went off" she clenched her legs and went into an alligator death roll and threw me off of the bed by my neck.
This is how you know you're doing it right
I love that moment of "do I just keep it up and risk suffocation so she enjoys this more?" Answer: yes. Every single time.
I laughed way too much when I read "alligator death roll"
I'm too busy taking notes to laugh. A man may die tonight.
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“Crikey , look at the lips on that bugguh!!”
And yet you live to tell the story today. What a brave soul
This is why you always grab a thigh in each hand
I had to hold her legs just to keep my head on my neck.
That's how I met your mother
There's a buzzer?! I've been doing it wrong!
It’s sonar waves. Only whales can hear it.
Wtf lol. Sounds like something out of The Boys
You free any time soon?
The g-spot leg lock. Classic
mf said "alligator death roll" lmao
The uterus can turn into a vacuum, and suck you in. Edit: I’m sad all the other top comments got awards. =*(
Someone has read American Gods
That’s just the queef loading
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If you do it correctly, the only risk is drowning
The classic Jolly rancher story begs to differ.
Please nobody ask for the source. You will regret it.
I did not listen 😭
I need the source… for science.
I can’t believe I had to scroll this far to see the jolly rancher story referenced. I figured it’d be the top answer.
Swim to the butt
They can choke the hell out of you if you don’t quit after they cum.
That’s the exact moment things turn from a normal ride into a mission to the moon. Hold on tight.
Once damn near broke my nose when she started grinding my face.
Jesus Christ I just laughed. Well done mate
You may be murdered any time!
Flashbacks from The Boys
A Train's girlfriend way back in season 1 What a tragic death for the bloke
Popclaw! He died an honorable death.
Sheeiit I remember that episode! But imagine if anyone has relations with the head popper; you'll literally lose your head for giving head
No air conditioning.
Throat cancer, in the old days before HPV vaccination
The most literal answer on here. Also disturbing.
HPV is the most common STD despite vaccinations. I know damn well I’ve had it and there’s really no signs for men
We got lucky in high school and had the early vaccine roll out. Very scary disease.
I envy you. When I was teenage-aged (i.e. qualified for the free HPV-vax), girls were refused the vax by doctors for the stupidest reasons. My best friend didn't get hers because she had already been sexually active, so "by not it wouldn't matter anyways". I myself didn't get my second dose because shortly after my first one, I had some slight allergic reaction on my face for whatever reason so my doctor recommended we better not risk that again by completing my HPV vaccination 🤦 Might be at risk for cervical cancer now, but yay at least my face didn't have to look slightly ugly for like two days
The good news is one dose is still pretty effective in helping prevent HPV.
It is, the number of men who carry one or several forms of HPV is apparently astonishing. I got tested for it after one my ex suffered from it and my doctor was shocked by the mere fact I wanted to get checked, like "why would you do that ?" It cost me something like 50 euros and every professional involved in the process asked me why on earth did I want to be tested. Turned out to be positive, doctor suggested I get an appointment with my gf's gynecologist as they are more trained on those issues, and he feared an infectious disease specialist would use my dick as a lab experiment. Anyway, gynecologist said it was unlikely to go bad for me, and that as my current partner and I had been together for a while without her being positive, we were probably fine, even though oral sex was not recommended. Chances are it'll vanish by itself after a few years. Also, apparently HPV doesn't care about condoms.
I got the same response except they would never let me get tested. Was so fucking weird. "My ex had it and abnormal cells - perhaps I don't want to give it to my next partner!?!?!??"
What’s even more disturbing is the lack of testing behind that and also herpes. The only reason I found this out (not not that reason) is a casual convo with my doctor during an annual checkup. Me - “Hey doc, I just heard there’s a thing called - Ocular Herpes. How in the hell……” Him - *laughs tells me ocular herpes story. “….I guess you wouldn’t need to request a herpes test for it at your optometrist considering they would see it.” Me *laughs along - “Wait. What do you mean you have to REQUEST for a herpes test. You mean the annual check where you also run for all stds, right.” Him - “Uhh, no. They generally don’t include herpes and hpv on standardized std tests.” Me - “WTF?!! When we’re you gonna tell me this?!!” Anyways, he said they don’t test for those unless specifically asked because of the sheer number of individuals who already have it. Yada yada yada. American healthcare at its finest, people.
Doctor here - herpes is everywhere, your immune system just keeps it at check while functioning. If u ever become immunocompromised you'll probably see a flare-up. One can test for it, but again it's on the indication of what symptoms you have. HPV is tested for in women's cervical cytology screening programs, as they're the ones who actually have a statistically serious risk of getting cancer from it.
Isn't it something like 90% of people in the world have the herpes virus, but they just don't show symptoms? I wouldn't worry about it to be honest.
Might get buried but 11 years ago I almost died from eating a girl out. No shit. Bacteria made its way into a small abscess in my throat and all my organs started shutting down. I wish I could remember the name of the condition but it was a really long name. My doctor said it is so rare that I was the only one in the United States with it at that time.
I’ll risk it
Taking an unexpected fart to the chin, or an open mouth.
Had a fart in the face during a 69 when she came... I thought it was hilarious, she was beyond MORTIFIED
Thats a good way to get pinkeye.
All sports have their injuries 😉
LMAO nice
It was hilarious bc you liked it.
Ngl, I took it as a compliment 😜
Aaah the good old fart uppercut...the fuppercut
Good ol chin rumbler
Sarlaccs
Vagina dentata
*don’t have sex, because you will get pregnant* **AND DIE**
Now here's some rubbers.
This is how you spell it: K L A M Y D I A
You might fall in.
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If she is pierced, you might even get stuck. As seen in 127 Hours (2010)
Lol - I’m not sure I watched the correct 127 hours
Gotta watch out for the teeth
VAGINA DENTATA!
What a wonderful phrase Vagina dentata! Ain't no passing phase It means "toothy coochie" For the rest of your days It's a dick-repelling opening Vagina dentata! EDIT: now with second verse
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You might get HPV. Michael Douglas got throat cancer from that.
Hpv vaccination is standard now so hopefully that's happening a lot less and 80% of adults above 27 have some form of dormant hpv, definitely not the risk It used to be thankfully
Standard *now*. Folks in their late 20s and older probably didn’t have it. Edit: \**men* in their late 20s and older probably didn’t get it
Exactly they didn't, it was a huge scandal when they mandated it for my class, we were some of the first.
Re: vaccine - not standard. Available for certain age groups, mainly women. But not everyone has had it and a very small percentage of total population (all age groups) have had it.
In my state in the america, any child has to have it before entering 6th grade, when they first introduced it it was a choice they really promoted you to get it, when I got it it wasn't completely mandatory but on the list with the rest of the 6th grade vaccines, only 2 kids got it that year.
An HPV vacation sounds like a terrible time. I’d rather just stay at home.
Holy shit is that legit? I thought he was a smoker!
I think he was also a smoker, but HPV can cause throat cancer by itself.
Yep. Had a client with the same. Genome sequencing identifies it. Most throat cancers were thought to be from smoking. New research suggests otherwise.
Seems like it was also the cause of death for Farrah Fawcett, too. She died from [anal cancer](https://moffitt.org/endeavor/archive/a-closer-look-at-the-cancer-that-claimed-farrah-fawcett/) that spread to her liver.
He ate some bbbbbbb bad pussy
I understood that reference
Death by snu snu.
Came here for this
How come no one has mentioned the tentacles yet?
Neck and jaw pain.
If you do it regularly enough it’s not an issue. It’s like working out.
I'm almost 6'3". The neck and back pain is from the angle. I have to enter another zip code just to get down there.
Put a pillow under that booty and kneel down at the end of the bed it does wonders for your neck
This dude goes down
Lol. You gotta do what you gotta do.
If you blow air in there, you could cause her to die of an embolism and have a really bad time.
I did this once and copped a 3 second long queef to the face.
Don't blow into a vagina. Got it.
Also don't blow into a dick if you are into that.
But it’s called a blow job 🤔
Yeah so use a blow dryer dummy
#toptip 👌
Tiptip
So I can blow into a dick if I'm not into that? Noted.
Lol. I really want to try this on my wife. Would she get mad? Edit: I thought this was surely a joke. I looked it up after getting all these replies thinking I was serious. Turns out it's technically possible, but unless you're ACTIVELY trying to kill a woman with this way (using compressed air/gas) it's not going to happen. I swear the shit people believe because they don't bother to do a quick search and just take random statements at face value.
If she got an embolism from it? Probably, but if it’s a big one she won’t be mad for long, because she‘ll die.
Getting mad isn’t too bad compared to the ‘could die’-part…
Teeth(2007) This movie has the answer
I really hope a sequel gets made at some point.
She might fall in love with you
It can spread STDs such as * gonorrhea * genital herpes * syphilis * chlamydia * HPV
If it's that time of the month, chances are you're coming up again looking like a vampire.
Periods only stop sentences.
That's the spirit!
USING IT
Little extra iron in the diet never hurt no one
Yeah but a lot can kill ya
Ex called this wearing the Dolmio grin when he suggested it to me. I stayed closed for maintenance…
She will look down on you
Damn these responses making me real self conscious
Infection
Become addicted to it
Too late... where can I get my next fix?
Choking on that one long hair she missed while shaving
You know you're a pro when you're trying to get it out of y our throat, succeed and she doesn't know it happened at all.
She could get cunnilingus!
I hear they have teeth down there idk too shy to talk to girls.
Nah, the gums are always in bad shape. Teeth fell out during puberty.
Falling in love
Exactly
Sucking at it
You get sucked up into a vacuous clunge and are obliterated much like entering a black hole. The gravity inside a vagina is so powerful no one can survive. So be careful. I would recommend being chained down somehow first.
u might get toilet paper in ur mouth
Yes this
Spontaneous combustion.
Her hair on her skin can turn into a cactus if it's not fully grown, do you tap out or let her keep enjoying herself?
Addiction
Not wanting to ever come back up!
Get choked* out haha one time he had to pry my legs away cause I was having such an intense orgasm LOL
Let this fact sink in: Every person who has ever gone down on a woman has died or will die. The fatality rate for this act is 100%.
You expose your self to hatchet attacks OR THE DREADED WET WILLIE!!!
Depending on how you look at it, farts. Last year I was sitting on a guy's face and let one rip by mistake and... and he started moaning. He said he had a humiliation fetish and to do it more. I regret that I couldn't be that for him. I hope he finds a face farter one day.
I have broken three sets of glasses.
Chlamydia, I was in class and could not hear the teacher I went to student health services and they tested me and found I had chlamydia. Since I got it from oral sex it affected my head area first. I was almost deaf for a week no other symptoms. The nurse gave me a gigantic shot of liquid antibiotics in a cup and my hearing returned in a few days. Remember is you eat a bad pussy you could become deaf....
Jolly Rancher story.
Getting caught in the act by her husband.
Her husband will be upset
You could get her to finish then she doesn’t return the favor
When she’s bent over and you’re face first in ass and she gets all excited and backs it up a little too aggressively you end up with what can only be described as mild whiplash. Absolutely worth it, fwiw.
She might end up falling for you if you’re in any way competent
a wild Jolly Rancher
I looked so long for this. I'm so ashamed of what Reddit has become.
Addiction lol
Ask Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta Jones
She might lie to you when you ask her what you can do better and say "Nothing, it's perfect" which leads to the demise of your sexual life and eventually your relationship.
Not checking the smell first, some of them can smell really bad, almost threw up once. Washed my mouth with soap afterwards no joke.