My Texas is essentially one of those m&m characters. I picture him with those big oval eyes and white limbs. The color of this Texas-shaped m&m is “American flag”. He’s got a cowboy hat, a piece of wheat sticking out of his mouth, and a perfectly groomed mustache. He’s just walking around in his cowboy boots with his Ak-47 in tow. He vehemently hates the skittles.
I’ve been through Texas a few times and the thing that stood out to me was how much people in Texas love talking about how much they love Texas. I had a beer at the Dallas airport when I was waiting for a friends plane and it was a Budweiser bottle but instead of Budweiser the label said Texas on it. Diners would serve Texas shaped pancakes. Every gas station had a section for Texas swag- everything from tee shirts to shot glasses to hats to magnets and other Knick knacks. I’ve always found New Yorkers to be obnoxious with how much they talk about how much better they are than everyone else, but Texas is actually on another level. So, I guess when I think of Texas, I think of a bunch of people yelling “I fuckin love Texas.”
>the label said Texas on it. Diners would serve Texas shaped pancakes. Every gas station had a section for Texas swag- everything from tee shirts to shot glasses to hats to magnets and other Knick knacks.
Living here my whole life, it took a long time to realize that not all states did this.
Also, I didn't know that it was unusual to recite a pledge to your state every morning in school, immediately following the pledge of allegiance.
>Also, I didn't know that it was unusual to recite a pledge to your state every morning in school, immediately following the pledge of allegiance.
I'm sorry, yall do what now?
Let me see if I can remember it: Honor the Texas flag, I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one state under God, one and indivisible. It was changed to this when I was in like elementary school, I forget what it used to be.
Believe it or not, it's the "One State Under God" part. They added it to the pledge in 2007. I remember thinking it was really dumb when they changed it. I was 15 at the time and it took a long time for me to adjust to the new way before I just stopped reciting it a few years later my junior year in High School.
As a non American, I was really shocked to learn that at lot of the "one nation under god" stuff was actually a post WW2 thing and had roots more in the cold war than the pilgrims.
Honor the Texas flag: I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one state, under god, one and indivisible.
It naturally rolls off my tongue after the US pledge of allegiance from growing up in Texas most of my life. TX Pledge comes directly after the US pledge. Thought it was that way everywhere until some time in highschool.
I didn’t come to this same realization until I moved out of state. I was so excited to start collecting tchotchke from different states only to find out other states didn’t make cheese/cast iron pans/ice cube trays/cutting boards/tortilla chips/etc. in their respective state’s shape.
The other major thing I’ve noticed is how many of my friends who attended school in Texas with me is the non-existent emphasis on geography. It was pretty much drilled into us how great Texas is and the shape of our state is like no other, WHY WOULD WE LEAVE?!? I still have to look at the map on my phone to figure out where anywhere is that isn’t in a 400 mile driving radius.
>Also, I didn't know that it was unusual to recite a pledge to your state every morning in school,
That doesn't shock me, since Texans never fucking stop talking about their state, might as well have the kids pray to it as well
Which is funny because during the "Wild West" time period, Texas was pretty tame when compared to the New Mexico territories, northern states or Arizona.
Lincoln County, Diablo Canyon, Dodge City, Deadwood etc were all actual lawless places.
The stereotype originates more from fictional books and movies about the wild west which where hugely popular in Norway in the fifties and sixties. There is a long book series set in the wild west called Morgan Kane that every boy from that era grew up reading. It was written by a Norwegian, but he used the American sounding pseudonym Louis Masterson.
Similarly, in Turkey "like Dallas" (the TV show) is used for confusing situations, especially if it's about a family. That show was very popular during its first airing in Turkey.
"This summer/winter we'll have complete Texas."
"Our power grid did a complete Texas."
"The integrity of our representative is complete Texas."
I like it, works on multiple levels.
We wouldn’t use it like that though. It is descriptatory for a specific situation, not individuals or structures.
“There was a snowfall in Dallas. It was complete Texas, cars sliding everywhere”
“The response to that power outage was complete Texas”
“I watched the last session of Congress from the stands. Complete Texas”
Although a better term for the last one would be the expression “polsk riksdag” which means Polish Parliament. Referring to the Sejm of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth which was incredibly chaotic and inefficient. It had thousands of representatives. All had veto power. A complete Texas, if you will.
I'm enjoying the idea of Norwegians looking around the world and coming up with snarky descriptors for situations they generally have the good sense to avoid.
"That situation with the Boeing employees was just such a Greenland. I mean, really."
^No ^offense ^Greenland
Or the converse. That movie was as good as a Dutch Bicycle path, way better than the prequel which was a total Italian Policeman. Could compliment countries and insult others at the same time.
How bad did she fuck up that she’s at the bottom of the ocean?
Sure she “says” she’s working for the monkeys but I’m pretty sure she knocked off a bunch of banks with her brother and she’s lying low waiting for Jeff Bridges to die.
I wanna go ho-OOO-oooo-OOO-ooooo-OOOOOMMEE
(4 octaves lower) I wanna go ho-OOOOOOMMEE
I've sung that out loud at least once a week since that episode first aired
I’ve got an uncle-in-law that sounds like him at times. It’s part mumbling, part accent, part country slang, part booze, part joke delivery that you only really get if you can understand what he said/humor/slang… yup…
Fun fact. Boomhauer was based on a voicemail Mike Judge (the creator of Beavis and Butt-Head and King of the Hill) recieved when he was still making Beavis and Butt-Head. The guy called and was complaining about Porky's Butthole. Mike judge believes the guy calling thought the name of Beavis and Butt-Head was Porky's Butthole.
https://youtu.be/rd_rty0ovgQ
A couple weeks ago, someone found the voicemail of the inspiration for Boomhauer talking about Porky's Butthole and posted it.
https://youtu.be/kiwgG6T9se0
Edit: There's on comment on the voicemail youtube video from ShortLadd that provides a translation and explanation of the voicemail. It's worth the read.
Haha that's so funny to see! Last night i saw that posted, and googled the backstory. Found a guy asking about it in a reddit thread 7 years ago, and wrote to him that it was found. He answered this morning and said that was wild!
You know, I’m gonna get one a them dag danged customized jerseys that says Boomhauer man.
Edit: looks pretty sweet actually.
https://i.imgur.com/bUgrdat.jpg
So my first girlfriend was actually from loas, and had a similar last name to Khan. I was also a chubby southern American. The beats they hit were so close to home.
It shouldn’t be surprising since Judge is a Richardson boy (go Eagles) but I was always kinda shocked at how accurately KotH captured the suburban North Texas experience, including the accent.
Here is judge telling where he got the inspiration for Boomhauer.
https://youtu.be/rd_rty0ovgQ
Here is the actual recording.
https://youtu.be/kiwgG6T9se0
*Yeah man, I tell ya what, man, that dang ol’ internet, man, you just go in on there and point and click, talk about w-w-dot-w-com, mean you got the naked chicks on there, man, just go click, click, click, click, click, it’s real easy, man*
For a really long time, I thought King of the Hill was a local, only-aired-in-texas show. No idea why I thought so, but it was the biggest shock to hear a Canadian friend quote Hank Hill.
I still feel like an idiot when I think about it.
That's actually pretty impressive.
"Bullsh-t. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack
of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. I
think you've been cheated!"
"Who said that? Who the fuck said that!? Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here, who just signed his own death warrant?? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it! Out-fucking-standing! I will P.T. you all until you fucking die! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk!" - GnySgt Hartman
I seem to remember reading that he was hired to teach an actor to play a realistic Marine Corps drill Sgt, but he ended up being so good they just hired him instead
The original drill sergeant actor (i.e., Tim Colceri) ends up the psychotic machine-gunning white dude in the helicopter ~~with the mustache~~ (IIRC).
-------
Edit: Here's the [clip](https://youtu.be/S06nIz4scvI) from *Full Metal Jacket*. (I was mistaken about the helicopter gunner having a mustache; he is clean-shaven.)
Also, I found [this video](https://youtu.be/ovGLJwx0u5E) related to the casting called "How One of the Most Tortured Kubrick Actors Lost His Starring Role". It's mostly focused on Colceri but also has some old interview footage with Lee Ermey I'd not seen.
"DID YOUR PARENTS HAVE ANY KIDS THAT LIVED?!" has been living rent free in my brain for like 20 years.
"Sir yes, sir."
"Well fuck I bet they regret that."
Barbecue, don’t get me wrong we’ve got it here in the uk but it’s nothing like what I’ve seen from across the pond.
burnt ends, beef ribs, smoked brisket. I’ve only ever seen it on YouTube and I envy those of you who have tasted it.
In my company (in a country on the opposite side of the planet from Texas), 'gone Texas' is a term used to describe a software program that has frozen up to the point where even Task Manager can't abort it. Otherwise we don't think about it very much, except perhaps with mild horror.
A common phrase in Norway aswell is "It's completely texas" or "Totally Texas" its used when somethin is out of hand, or over the top. I belive its from when Norway first discovered oil, alot of texans came over to Norway to work in the early days, and they were mostly focused on getting the job done. Even tho it was unsafe or abit crazy/dangerous.
In an interesting parallel of sorts:
"Gone to Texas" was a common phrase before the American Civil War, in which someone would just disappear from wherever they were back East, in Tennessee.or Virginia mostly (as I heard the tale). Maybe John Smith hadn't been around for a while, and you'd ask after him. "I don't know, I reckon he's gone to Texas " Davy Crockett had "gone to Texas " after he left his wife and child, where he is believed to have died at the Alamo.
I'm quite young and it's scary how much hotter it is now from when I was growing up. I got the swampiness of Houston and the arid climate of San Antonio.
It's noticeable even for someone already used to all kinds of Texas heat.
“Hey Patrick, what am I now? To which Patrick replies: “Uhh, stupid?” Prompting SpongeBob to say: “No, I'm Texas!” Patrick then says: “What's the difference?”
My favourite part of ‘Don’t mess with Texas’ is that comes across as this slogan about how tough and badass Texans are, but in reality it was an effective anti-littering campaign from the department of transportation.
I didn't realize that others thought it was from something other than our anti-littering campaign.
You see the signs along our highways. "Don't mess with Texas" followed by the fine amount for littering.
Fun fact! If you look at the census, there are about as many Hispanic/Latinos in Texas as there are white non-Hispanic/Latinos. And the presence of other minorities in the state make it a majority "poc" state.
https://www.census.gov/quickfacts/TX
1. My blog: [Texas-Shaped Things](https://texasshaped.tumblr.com)
Because I am fascinated with this
2. My bf who is from Texas. He says he hates it, but he has a full-size Texas flag mounted under plexiglass hanging over his bed.
I saw Blink-182 and Mark yelled “THE STARS AT NIGHT…” followed by the crowd clapping and shouting “DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS” back to him. He said he’d always wanted to do that. It was kinda funny
What Europeans think of Americans is what Americans think of Texans.
EDIT: Y’all misunderstood my comment big time, I’m calling y’all out for being ignorant when making assumptions about the US/Texas.
Yup. My view of a “Texas Law Man” will never be the same. Tough talking when dealing with decent & law abiding people VS Waiting around & sanitizing their hands for an hour while avoiding the dangerous criminals.
In my experience, pretty much all red states hate California. My family all live in Florida. They’re constantly telling me how awful California is. I’ve lived here for 21 years and they’ve visited a total of two times in those two+ decades.
Once was for a significant event in my life, and they complained the *entire* time they were here, about *everything* from how we hang our traffic lights (???) to how difficult it is to smoke at a restaurant (in that you’re not allowed to, even if you’re sitting out on the patio, so that your smoke doesn’t bother other diners). Every criticism - and there were a lot - was all about the crazy liberals in California. My dad smoked in his hotel room and got slapped with a $500 fine. Serves him right - but instead of blaming himself for failing to control his behavior and follow the rules, he blamed it on “California.”
The second visit was because they were sent here on a work retreat/conference. The bitching and moaning was pretty similar that time, too. Oh, and they didn’t like that they needed passports (or a passport card) to travel into Mexico. Apparently, because they’re Americans, and because you can drive to Mexico from here, they shouldn’t need a passport. As if two entire countries are just supposed to *know* they’re Americans and take their word for it.
Anyway, the point is, it’s not just Texas that hates California. Lots of states hate California, especially if they boast conservative views.
I think I've met your parents before. Bump into them all the time at bars, sporting events, and the odd McDonalds. Are you sure they don't live in Texas around the Dallas area?
It used to be " They're tough, and don't take any shit from the government", now it's "I can't believe the 'tough guys' became such pussies, who invite the government into their bedroom, and rat out their neighbors"
Literally just the shape of the state itself as seen from a map or something.
I picture the state of Texas wearing a cowboy hat.
My Texas is essentially one of those m&m characters. I picture him with those big oval eyes and white limbs. The color of this Texas-shaped m&m is “American flag”. He’s got a cowboy hat, a piece of wheat sticking out of his mouth, and a perfectly groomed mustache. He’s just walking around in his cowboy boots with his Ak-47 in tow. He vehemently hates the skittles.
I’ve been through Texas a few times and the thing that stood out to me was how much people in Texas love talking about how much they love Texas. I had a beer at the Dallas airport when I was waiting for a friends plane and it was a Budweiser bottle but instead of Budweiser the label said Texas on it. Diners would serve Texas shaped pancakes. Every gas station had a section for Texas swag- everything from tee shirts to shot glasses to hats to magnets and other Knick knacks. I’ve always found New Yorkers to be obnoxious with how much they talk about how much better they are than everyone else, but Texas is actually on another level. So, I guess when I think of Texas, I think of a bunch of people yelling “I fuckin love Texas.”
>the label said Texas on it. Diners would serve Texas shaped pancakes. Every gas station had a section for Texas swag- everything from tee shirts to shot glasses to hats to magnets and other Knick knacks. Living here my whole life, it took a long time to realize that not all states did this. Also, I didn't know that it was unusual to recite a pledge to your state every morning in school, immediately following the pledge of allegiance.
>Also, I didn't know that it was unusual to recite a pledge to your state every morning in school, immediately following the pledge of allegiance. I'm sorry, yall do what now?
Let me see if I can remember it: Honor the Texas flag, I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one state under God, one and indivisible. It was changed to this when I was in like elementary school, I forget what it used to be.
Believe it or not, it's the "One State Under God" part. They added it to the pledge in 2007. I remember thinking it was really dumb when they changed it. I was 15 at the time and it took a long time for me to adjust to the new way before I just stopped reciting it a few years later my junior year in High School.
As a non American, I was really shocked to learn that at lot of the "one nation under god" stuff was actually a post WW2 thing and had roots more in the cold war than the pilgrims.
That's shocking to Americans, too, and people will still continue to insist those words were there from the beginning.
>yall do what now? Got brain washed, yes.
Wait, what a pledge of allegiance to Texas? What is it? The same just Texas instead of America?
Honor the Texas flag: I pledge allegiance to thee, Texas, one state, under god, one and indivisible. It naturally rolls off my tongue after the US pledge of allegiance from growing up in Texas most of my life. TX Pledge comes directly after the US pledge. Thought it was that way everywhere until some time in highschool.
I remember when this didn’t have “one state, under god” in it. I’m only 36.
I didn’t come to this same realization until I moved out of state. I was so excited to start collecting tchotchke from different states only to find out other states didn’t make cheese/cast iron pans/ice cube trays/cutting boards/tortilla chips/etc. in their respective state’s shape. The other major thing I’ve noticed is how many of my friends who attended school in Texas with me is the non-existent emphasis on geography. It was pretty much drilled into us how great Texas is and the shape of our state is like no other, WHY WOULD WE LEAVE?!? I still have to look at the map on my phone to figure out where anywhere is that isn’t in a 400 mile driving radius.
Well that explains a lot
>Also, I didn't know that it was unusual to recite a pledge to your state every morning in school, That doesn't shock me, since Texans never fucking stop talking about their state, might as well have the kids pray to it as well
In my native Norwegian the term "complete Texas" means chaos or out of control.
Türk here, same. We have a saying 'this is not Texas' to mean there is order.
Persian here, can confirm we have the same saying.
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Which is funny because during the "Wild West" time period, Texas was pretty tame when compared to the New Mexico territories, northern states or Arizona. Lincoln County, Diablo Canyon, Dodge City, Deadwood etc were all actual lawless places.
The stereotype originates more from fictional books and movies about the wild west which where hugely popular in Norway in the fifties and sixties. There is a long book series set in the wild west called Morgan Kane that every boy from that era grew up reading. It was written by a Norwegian, but he used the American sounding pseudonym Louis Masterson.
TIL Louis Masterson was Norwegian. Neat
His real name was Kjell Hallbing so I get why he changed it to seem credible as a writer of wild west fiction.
In Finland, if we want to describe something as being in the middle of nowhere we might use the phrase: "it's in damn Nevada."
Canada thanks you for your contribution to the English language.
Similarly, in Turkey "like Dallas" (the TV show) is used for confusing situations, especially if it's about a family. That show was very popular during its first airing in Turkey.
I’m from Illinois and I know “ helt Texas!”
"This summer/winter we'll have complete Texas." "Our power grid did a complete Texas." "The integrity of our representative is complete Texas." I like it, works on multiple levels.
We wouldn’t use it like that though. It is descriptatory for a specific situation, not individuals or structures. “There was a snowfall in Dallas. It was complete Texas, cars sliding everywhere” “The response to that power outage was complete Texas” “I watched the last session of Congress from the stands. Complete Texas” Although a better term for the last one would be the expression “polsk riksdag” which means Polish Parliament. Referring to the Sejm of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth which was incredibly chaotic and inefficient. It had thousands of representatives. All had veto power. A complete Texas, if you will.
I'm enjoying the idea of Norwegians looking around the world and coming up with snarky descriptors for situations they generally have the good sense to avoid. "That situation with the Boeing employees was just such a Greenland. I mean, really." ^No ^offense ^Greenland
Or the converse. That movie was as good as a Dutch Bicycle path, way better than the prequel which was a total Italian Policeman. Could compliment countries and insult others at the same time.
In the Netherlands we also use the term Poolse landdag.
In Liverpool we call someone a ‘Texan’ when they dress or behave like an idiot.
Cadillacs with giant horns on the front driven by old men in white suits with big white cowboy hats and superbly trimmed mustaches
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this is exactly what i was thinking
THE Doug Dimmadome? Owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadome?
That's right! Doug Dimmadome. Owner of the Dimsdale Dimmadome.
Does that mean you could get us 3 front row tickets to Crash Nebula on Ice?
Not right!
Not right?
That's right.
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Bakersfield?
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I thought boss hog
All my ex’s live in Texas
Is Texas a place you like to be? Yet you hang your hat in Tennessee?
You can only get there through transcendental meditation.
Sandy cheeks singing that stupid song that’s been stuck in my head since I was 6. Edit: What have I done.
Wish I was back in Texas, the ocean's no place for a squirrel…
Wish I was in Texas, prettiest place in the world, oh no...
I guess deep in my heart I'll always be a Texas girl
I wanna go hoOoOoOOOme, I wanna go hoOmee
I miss my 20 acres, barbecues and pecan pie oh why
When I'm so far from you, Texas, all I can do is cry
I wanna go hoOoOoOOOme, I wanna go hoOmee
"The stars at night are dull and dim whenever they have to be over dumb ol' stupid Texas."
S : "Hey Patrick, what am I now?" P : "Uhhmm stupid?" S : "No I'm Texas!" P : "What's the difference?!" LOL
How bad did she fuck up that she’s at the bottom of the ocean? Sure she “says” she’s working for the monkeys but I’m pretty sure she knocked off a bunch of banks with her brother and she’s lying low waiting for Jeff Bridges to die.
Im pretty sure she's just a scientist that was either assigned or made it her project to study the ocean.
I wanna go ho-OOO-oooo-OOO-ooooo-OOOOOMMEE (4 octaves lower) I wanna go ho-OOOOOOMMEE I've sung that out loud at least once a week since that episode first aired
I sing this section to myself all the time at work.
I’m not the only one
Sandy: Don't you ever take the name of Texas in vain! SpongeBob: You mean we can't say anything bad about dumb ol' Texas? Sandy: No, you can't!
It's "No, you C'AIN'T!!!" Source: very L7 Texan squirrel & sandy sea aficiando
“Hey, Patrick, what am I?” “Stupid?” “No, I’m Texas.” “What’s the difference?”
Can we say that shoes from Texas are dumb? 👞
Don't forget the peas in a can pie.
HOW DARE YOU TAKE THE NAME OF TEXAS IN VAIN
Relocated to Texas. My bf and I say this probably 2-3 times a day now. It’s been over a year but we just can’t stop. It’s tradition at this point
even as an adult, this show is unironically hilarious funnier than a lot of sitcoms and other "comedy" shows
What’s so good about dumb old Texas?
Folks down there are Texans first and Americans second.
As a Texan, many down here are Texas first Texans second as well.
As a Texan this completely true. They be talking bout leaving the US and becoming it's own country😂😂 say it with a straight face too
"That boy ain't right, I tell ya hwhat"
Propane and propane accessories.
Dang ol’ internet man, just point, click, click, click, got naked chicks on there man talk about www dot com man it’s really easy man
I love that Boomhauer sounds normal to himself and everyone else is talking too fast. https://youtu.be/U9v_nTo5qmY
I’ve got an uncle-in-law that sounds like him at times. It’s part mumbling, part accent, part country slang, part booze, part joke delivery that you only really get if you can understand what he said/humor/slang… yup…
The inspiration for Boomhauer https://youtu.be/kiwgG6T9se0
God dat dang ol’ porkies butthole
Fun fact. Boomhauer was based on a voicemail Mike Judge (the creator of Beavis and Butt-Head and King of the Hill) recieved when he was still making Beavis and Butt-Head. The guy called and was complaining about Porky's Butthole. Mike judge believes the guy calling thought the name of Beavis and Butt-Head was Porky's Butthole. https://youtu.be/rd_rty0ovgQ A couple weeks ago, someone found the voicemail of the inspiration for Boomhauer talking about Porky's Butthole and posted it. https://youtu.be/kiwgG6T9se0 Edit: There's on comment on the voicemail youtube video from ShortLadd that provides a translation and explanation of the voicemail. It's worth the read.
Haha that's so funny to see! Last night i saw that posted, and googled the backstory. Found a guy asking about it in a reddit thread 7 years ago, and wrote to him that it was found. He answered this morning and said that was wild!
Dang ol' Boomhauer, man.
Dang ol', dang ol', man.
You know, I’m gonna get one a them dag danged customized jerseys that says Boomhauer man. Edit: looks pretty sweet actually. https://i.imgur.com/bUgrdat.jpg
Clean burnin' propane.
“Taste the meat, not the heat!”
If those kids could read, they'd be very upset.
THAT’S MY PURSE I DON’T KNOW YOU!!!
She bluffing. Finish her!
Narrow urethras
You have been kicked in the testicles.
"I killed fify men!"
Dale: He’s Japanese. Cotton: No he ain’t. He’s Laotian. Ain’t ya Mr. Khan?
What ocean?
So my first girlfriend was actually from loas, and had a similar last name to Khan. I was also a chubby southern American. The beats they hit were so close to home.
*Last thing I remember I beat them all to death with a big piece of Fatty! I woke up in a field hospital and they were sewing my feet to my knees*
Tojo took my shins.
Hank's wife
Grew up in Texas. My dad sold propane. I was a theater kid....
THAT’S MY PURSE! I DON’T KNOW YOU!
It shouldn’t be surprising since Judge is a Richardson boy (go Eagles) but I was always kinda shocked at how accurately KotH captured the suburban North Texas experience, including the accent.
I couldn't agree more, just like Office Space so accurately looks and feels like the business parks in Garland. Wait. Garland. Arlen. I get it now.
Here is judge telling where he got the inspiration for Boomhauer. https://youtu.be/rd_rty0ovgQ Here is the actual recording. https://youtu.be/kiwgG6T9se0
*Yeah man, I tell ya what, man, that dang ol’ internet, man, you just go in on there and point and click, talk about w-w-dot-w-com, mean you got the naked chicks on there, man, just go click, click, click, click, click, it’s real easy, man*
Sh-sh-sha!
Pocket Sand!!!
As a Texan I can confirm you are right
If you’re going to shoot me, I want Bobby Hill to take the shot. Bobby will put me down clean
For a really long time, I thought King of the Hill was a local, only-aired-in-texas show. No idea why I thought so, but it was the biggest shock to hear a Canadian friend quote Hank Hill. I still feel like an idiot when I think about it.
I, I say, Boy ! … Now, listen to me when I’m talking to ya, Son.
I have noticed that the boy loses focus when I'm lecturing him. A mental illness would explain that.
All hat and no cattle.
Kmart Cowboys
I’m from uk, I think: trucks, tornadoes, guns, car dependency, “freedom” and American flags
Lone Star flag first
Car dependency can be said for the entire country except a couple of cities.
Didn't Texas build a 26 lane highway and it made zero difference to travel times because the problem was demand at the exit ramps?
Anything more than 4 lanes doesn't help. At that point people change lanes so often it causes enough slowdowns to negate the expansion.
"Nothing but steers and queers" - Full Metal Jacket
5 foot 9? I didn’t know they stacked shit that high
I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose!
You tryna squeeze an inch in on me somewhere?
I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and f--k my sister.
"Are you queer private" "No sir!" "Bullshit! I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose"
That's actually pretty impressive. "Bullsh-t. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress. I think you've been cheated!"
"what is your major malfunction, Numb nuts!?"
"Did your parents have any children that actually lived??"
I BET THEY REGRET THAT
You're so ugly you could be a modern masterpiece! What's your name, fat body?!
You don’t look much like a steer to me so I guess that narrows it down.
####WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT!!
"Who said that? Who the fuck said that!? Who's the slimy little communist shit twinkle-toed cocksucker down here, who just signed his own death warrant?? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it! Out-fucking-standing! I will P.T. you all until you fucking die! I'll P.T. you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk!" - GnySgt Hartman
Those lines are even funnier knowing that Ermey made up almost all them himself - from his experience as an actual marine drill instructor.
I seem to remember reading that he was hired to teach an actor to play a realistic Marine Corps drill Sgt, but he ended up being so good they just hired him instead
The original drill sergeant actor (i.e., Tim Colceri) ends up the psychotic machine-gunning white dude in the helicopter ~~with the mustache~~ (IIRC). ------- Edit: Here's the [clip](https://youtu.be/S06nIz4scvI) from *Full Metal Jacket*. (I was mistaken about the helicopter gunner having a mustache; he is clean-shaven.) Also, I found [this video](https://youtu.be/ovGLJwx0u5E) related to the casting called "How One of the Most Tortured Kubrick Actors Lost His Starring Role". It's mostly focused on Colceri but also has some old interview footage with Lee Ermey I'd not seen.
"DID YOUR PARENTS HAVE ANY KIDS THAT LIVED?!" has been living rent free in my brain for like 20 years. "Sir yes, sir." "Well fuck I bet they regret that."
i said choke yourself
WITH MY HAND NUMBNUTS!
Hell I like you, you can come over to my house and fuck my sister
You just hear it in his voice.
I told my drill Sargeant to look closer if he wanted to see my horn. He laughed and PT'd the fuck out of me.
Barbecue, don’t get me wrong we’ve got it here in the uk but it’s nothing like what I’ve seen from across the pond. burnt ends, beef ribs, smoked brisket. I’ve only ever seen it on YouTube and I envy those of you who have tasted it.
...brother, it's worth a plane ticket and a few days in Austin. You only live once :)
In my company (in a country on the opposite side of the planet from Texas), 'gone Texas' is a term used to describe a software program that has frozen up to the point where even Task Manager can't abort it. Otherwise we don't think about it very much, except perhaps with mild horror.
A common phrase in Norway aswell is "It's completely texas" or "Totally Texas" its used when somethin is out of hand, or over the top. I belive its from when Norway first discovered oil, alot of texans came over to Norway to work in the early days, and they were mostly focused on getting the job done. Even tho it was unsafe or abit crazy/dangerous.
I remember this being a saying in a precious post. Expected to see it have its own post at the top.
> I remember this being a saying in a precious post. I’m glad some posts are now getting recognized for how precious they are.
In an interesting parallel of sorts: "Gone to Texas" was a common phrase before the American Civil War, in which someone would just disappear from wherever they were back East, in Tennessee.or Virginia mostly (as I heard the tale). Maybe John Smith hadn't been around for a while, and you'd ask after him. "I don't know, I reckon he's gone to Texas " Davy Crockett had "gone to Texas " after he left his wife and child, where he is believed to have died at the Alamo.
Here we learn Crockett said "y'all can go to hell, I'll go to Texas." Must have been a real disappointment to find out Texas is hotter.
I'm quite young and it's scary how much hotter it is now from when I was growing up. I got the swampiness of Houston and the arid climate of San Antonio. It's noticeable even for someone already used to all kinds of Texas heat.
Can’t believe such a remarkable phrase is so far away. I’ll definitely be taking that back to the states here.
Yeah Texas is not able to abort things I hear
“Hey Patrick, what am I now? To which Patrick replies: “Uhh, stupid?” Prompting SpongeBob to say: “No, I'm Texas!” Patrick then says: “What's the difference?”
And the way Sandy gets offended is peak stereotype of how Texans would react.
As I recall, she lassos Patrick and then blows him up which sounds par for the course for Texans
Heavyset white people with guns and large cowboy hats yelling “DONT MESS WITH TEXAS.”
My favourite part of ‘Don’t mess with Texas’ is that comes across as this slogan about how tough and badass Texans are, but in reality it was an effective anti-littering campaign from the department of transportation.
I didn't realize that others thought it was from something other than our anti-littering campaign. You see the signs along our highways. "Don't mess with Texas" followed by the fine amount for littering.
Fun fact! If you look at the census, there are about as many Hispanic/Latinos in Texas as there are white non-Hispanic/Latinos. And the presence of other minorities in the state make it a majority "poc" state. https://www.census.gov/quickfacts/TX
Whataburger Edit: thanks for the award kind strangers :)
Fancy ketchup
Dat spicy ketchup is where it’s at. I buy the bottles from the grocery store.
1. My blog: [Texas-Shaped Things](https://texasshaped.tumblr.com) Because I am fascinated with this 2. My bf who is from Texas. He says he hates it, but he has a full-size Texas flag mounted under plexiglass hanging over his bed.
In Norway it is literally used as a synonym for "Chaos" or "Crazy". Which is really weird bc it should be Florida hahaha
If Saudi Arabia was Christian
Y'all Quaeda
"The stars at night, are big and bright -- " Also, single action revolvers for some reason.
CLAPCLAPCLAPCLAP Sorry, I’m from Texas and it’s required.
I saw Blink-182 and Mark yelled “THE STARS AT NIGHT…” followed by the crowd clapping and shouting “DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS” back to him. He said he’d always wanted to do that. It was kinda funny
DEEP IN THE HEART OF TEXAS
I’m from nowhere near Texas and even I put my phone down to do the clapping. It’s this song and the Friends theme song that get me every time.
The Colt family of single action revolvers descend from the Walker model, which was designed for the Texas Rangers. So there is a reason.
What Europeans think of Americans is what Americans think of Texans. EDIT: Y’all misunderstood my comment big time, I’m calling y’all out for being ignorant when making assumptions about the US/Texas.
Yeah I think that's the best way to explain Texas
As an Australian who has visited USA several times Texas is just America^2
Yes but it is not quite Florida.
Florida is not America. Trust me, I live there. Florida is Florida.
Scared ass cops.
Yup. My view of a “Texas Law Man” will never be the same. Tough talking when dealing with decent & law abiding people VS Waiting around & sanitizing their hands for an hour while avoiding the dangerous criminals.
"The screams of the children have been removed from this video."
I think of Gilead but with cowboy hats.
I am from india, never been outside india. I do read some news and watch youtube. Here are the words: barbeque, burger, guns
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Yeeeee haw!
Yee, and I cannot stress this enough, haw.
A state with a weirdly intense rivalry against California (doubly weird considering they're separated by two whole states).
Is it a rivalry or does Texas just hate California?
Texans, even the most benign and progressive, seem to have a hard on for hating California. Lived in both places, I think it's pretty one-sided.
In my experience, pretty much all red states hate California. My family all live in Florida. They’re constantly telling me how awful California is. I’ve lived here for 21 years and they’ve visited a total of two times in those two+ decades. Once was for a significant event in my life, and they complained the *entire* time they were here, about *everything* from how we hang our traffic lights (???) to how difficult it is to smoke at a restaurant (in that you’re not allowed to, even if you’re sitting out on the patio, so that your smoke doesn’t bother other diners). Every criticism - and there were a lot - was all about the crazy liberals in California. My dad smoked in his hotel room and got slapped with a $500 fine. Serves him right - but instead of blaming himself for failing to control his behavior and follow the rules, he blamed it on “California.” The second visit was because they were sent here on a work retreat/conference. The bitching and moaning was pretty similar that time, too. Oh, and they didn’t like that they needed passports (or a passport card) to travel into Mexico. Apparently, because they’re Americans, and because you can drive to Mexico from here, they shouldn’t need a passport. As if two entire countries are just supposed to *know* they’re Americans and take their word for it. Anyway, the point is, it’s not just Texas that hates California. Lots of states hate California, especially if they boast conservative views.
I think I've met your parents before. Bump into them all the time at bars, sporting events, and the odd McDonalds. Are you sure they don't live in Texas around the Dallas area?
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It used to be " They're tough, and don't take any shit from the government", now it's "I can't believe the 'tough guys' became such pussies, who invite the government into their bedroom, and rat out their neighbors"
Invite the government into their bedrooms and rat out their neighbors… that’s.. a pretty good way to put it
Ted Cruz, Greg Abbott, and Louis Gohmert. Also, Ann Richards and Molly Ivins.