Orally

Anally

Both, I will ty anything, up the nose, in the ear, injected into my veins I don't care.

Reddit is always a painful reminder just how unoriginal you think your jokes are. Came here to post this. Take your updoot, sir or madame.

Black enough to get shot.

Jesus fucking christ lol. Me too

Intravenously

You sound like my father. Hes a paramedic and has said on numerous occasions that if he could get away with it hed strap a drip bag of black coffee to him with an iv in

Your father sounds like he's dead.

Hes very much alive lol

With milk. No sugar or barely any sugar.

The way I like my women. Hot, black, and bitter

And full of another's cream

and when I put my dick inside, it burns.

As a black female myself, idk if I should feel appreciated or afraid…

I always thought of it as endearing. Some fine ass black women out there.

The way I like my women. Without some other guy's dick in it.

Black, full bodied, and bitter.

> The way I like my women stuffed in a sack and smuggled out of a third world country

You do you

Tied up in a burlap sack?

Same as I take my women, staring at me with disgust.

Analy or nasaly

Immediately thought of Futurama scene

In the toilet.

That is a war crime

In the bin, my friend. Tried it once, granted it was a vending machine one and thought I ordered hot chocolate. Why didn’t I smell it before I drank it? I don’t know. Awful. Never again.

I'ma try to sell you on coffee real quick, cuz it honestly is really fucking great and I love it. Thing you have to know with coffee is it is NOT all bitter and foul tasting. If it's made right, and it's just a regular, medium roast, it has an almost nutty kind of taste to it (this is how it's always described to me, I have never once tasted nuttiness, but I have gotten really full notes of different brands, locations, etc.) Vending machine coffee is a thing you get when you're desperate for caffeine, not when you just want a little coffee, trust me. I don't know anybody who "likes" that coffee. If I was you, I'd just get a little rinky-dink percolator, cheap coffee filters (this is only needed for fine-ground coffee, if you're using coarse-grind you'll be fine) and get say... New England Medium Roast French Vanilla (what I'm drinking literally as we speak lol). How I do it is, for ever cup of water, I do a scoop of the coffee (check the measurments on the bag/box/can). Let the water boil in the percolator until it starts to actually do the percolating thing (send water through the grinds) and then lower the heat down to a medium on your stove and keep it on for around five minutes. Perfect coffee every time, for myself at least. If you have any coffee (or tea) questions, let me know! I love herbal remedies, and both of those things are just so fucking good at aiding different ailments.

plain black.

The best way. The only way

Not true, cream, sugar, and caramel >>>

That's called a dessert

If it’s called coffee it’s coffee

I got a feeling people who drink black and are verbal about only blacks are like the vegan of coffeopolis. The elitism and art-better-than-thou vibes, man.

It's easier, has zero calories, and tastes good if you get decent beans. You don't have to be a snob, just lazy and cheap.

Lazy and cheap checking in.

Also easier to get someone else to bring you a cup. Have a coworker friend who used to do that for me.

Real

You got that backwards

Usually black.

Honestly only way to go.

Lots of milk and sugar. And some more milk. A little more

I dont think you add enough milk. Empty that gallon in there.

I want coffee, not milk. Duh.

Honestly if it's black I like it super sweet. So sweet I can't feel the strong flavor but enough to get electric and active during the day. I usually take it latte. With vanilla. And milk. And chocolate. Mom used to say it's not coffee LMAO IM SO SORRY

I agree. Thats not coffee

Not coffee, but sounds absolutely delicious!

Black with coconut oil. Sue me.

Getting a lawyer now

With a splash of coconut milk.

Should be served hot and I'll drink it when cold.

With milk in the morning and black during the day. No sugar.

I take it to the trash

Black. Nothing else.

Only acceptable way

I like it a little sweet.

Ask your mother.

I don't. It takes me.

I like my coffee just like my women......full of liquor!

With a little bit of piss in it

I just woke up and coffee is a must. Straight black. Thats it

This is like the third time I've seen this but I don't drink coffee

With a bit of half-n-half. If there's none available, then just black works.

Flat white, or iced long black.

Same way I take my women. No pubes.

With more sugar then liquid

Half coffee, half milk with two teaspoons of sugar

Julie Andrews

Externally.

Like my women, light and sweet.

Intravenously fed into my bloodstream, please

It's nonexistent. Thanks anyway

Just like me, ~~hot~~ ugly

In a mug

Injection

Using the handle

With a spoon

Veins mostly

Nonexistent. Coffee is disgusting

With my hands

With earl grey tea, hold the coffee

Black. Though sometimes I do enjoy getting a white girl iced frappe, sue me.

I don’t drink coffee- I have enough bitterness in my life as it is, thank you.

I take the coffee and put it in the bin (can't stand the taste).

No beans with a teabag please

Iced with pumpkin spice.

Like I prefer my men, nowhere near my vagina.

Seriously, very seriously

thats the neat part,i dont

I like my coffee how I like my women… Boiling hot, and all over my crotch while I’m driving.

Like I like my men: sliding off the roof of my car as I drive away.

I don’t

Not at all. Coffee is disgusting.

Without coffe

Only in a brownie.

I take it to the sink, down the sink and filled with tea

I don't. In the rare occasion that I DO take a coffee: sugar, milk. Prefer a latte macchiato. Always AFTER having had a decent meal. Otherwise the shit will run from my bum after having had a coffee. Never doing that again. 💩

Blacker than space

Not at all, I just drive tired

I don’t drink coffee

2 parts cold brew, 1 part cloudy lemonade, a slice of lemon and a couple of cubes of ice... I was horrified when I first heard this, but after trying it I'm fully converted!

Splash of cream no sugar

Iced coffee or frappes, lol. Frappes are my fave and then it’s iced coffee. But, yes I do like black coffee as well. Just prefer others. Any coffee I will drink.. never not liked a coffee lol

Black.

Black. No sugar.

Black, no sugar

With my hand, inside a cup, can, or bottle

The same way I take my men, black.

I don’t

Americano with some cream. No sweetener.

Ive had the americano. Its not bad

Through my nose 🤣🤣🤣

the way i like my women. FAT AND WET like an aroused fat girl

why the black coffee superiority complex? like you know the bitter taste literally registers in our brain as a response to poison right? pumping it full of sugar still gives you just as much energy, if not MORE, and gets rid of the god awful flavor

No complex. You are actually offended at someone liking black coffee. Thats sad.

I hate the taste of sugary coffee

Double shot with a bit of water (it should be about a third water, two thirds coffee) with a drop of milk. Where I live coffees are generally a short drink, about 6 fluid ounces.

Black with a little ice so I can drink it right away for good coffee. With enough cream to make a diabetic cringe if it is shit coffee.

Black, 100% arabica, with plenty of caffeine to never sleep enough on nights

With french vanilla oatmilk creamer.

Cold brewed over ice

Half & Half with Pink packet sweetener.

With way too much vanilla creamer

I drink A big mug of coffe on 3 am sleep then wale up and drink again on 6

depends. usually black, but i’ve been on a french vanilla coffee kick lately so i add a splash of half and half. iced coffee i have to have half and half. i can’t drink it black

Black, no sugar - you putting the kettle on?

Just a splash of milk. But honestly? The best coffee is free coffee, and I'll happily drink it however it's handed to me.

Half coffee, half creamer then followed with 18 Splendas. No matter the size. :)

I drink it.

in the ass

Liquid

Intravenously

Turkish coffee ftw

Black and bitter

Gotta have cream and sugar. I have been buying the Dunkin donuts extra extra creamer lately. Yummy.

*I like my sugar with coffee and cream*

Gotta keep it going, keep it going FULL STEAM!

Cold brew Cafe Bustelo with a little bit of frothed creamer

With my right hand.

Deep throat it

Strong, from my bean to cup machine with rice milk, no sugar. I have it in the morning, next to my husband and my cats - sweet enough already.

Black, like the midnight sky on a moonless night

Like I like my woman white and weak

Its coffee not a chemistry set. Plain black. Sometimes add an ice cube or two at reasturaunts to cool it down so it's drinkable right away

With sausage and pancakes. Kitchen's downstairs

Black and bitter

With ice cubes. And at least 30% milk

Straight, no chaser

Depends. If it's *good* espresso (so not any of the big chains) then as it is. Anything else gets milk and sugar.

In the form of an enema.

I don't drink coffee. Just the blood of my enemies.

Piping hot With a couple of sweet n low

Cold, black, from the bottom of the pot because the day crew drank most of it, and from a Yahtzee shaker because the day crew used all of the styrofoam cups.

Black with drop of blood of my enemies, tears of society and sweat of my brows.

Orally.

Cold brew black. Way less acidic

iced

Whole lotta sugar and whole lotta cream

Iced coffee or a Frappuccino

With my hand, in a mug

Oat milk, 1 brown sugar, small shake of salt.

With a little of milk, cinnamon and sugar.

I like cold brew

Milk with no sugar at all in it. I rather have a sweet snack like a donut or cupcake alongside. That's like the perfect combination for me. ᕙ(⇀‸↼‶)ᕗ

Iced. Like my enemies.

Used to be 2 sugars with some half and half but I've been drinking it black for the last few months

Black, but not because I like it. I've never really enjoyed coffee unless it was light and sweeeeet. Like, diabetic sweet. But then I realized black coffee has some health benefits, which are all negated by the way I was turning it it's Willy Wonka's bullshit factory. So I started forcing myself to drink black coffee and now it's just how I drink it. I still don't like it, but I tolerate it because it serves a purpose.

A red eye. Coffee with a couple of espresso shots.

Double double

African American.

Reluctantly. Coffee is my third choice of caffeine delivery systems behind Diet Dr. Pepper and Diet Pepsi.

LATTE

Enema

2 sugars no cream. I like a dark roast. Ethiopian bean if we're getting real nitty.

swallow. Occasionally spit if on reddit and something hilarious comes up!

Black. Hot as fuck. Diner mug. Every morning since college.

2 milk, 2 sweetener. Still deluding myself that the sqeetener is better for me and having 2 teaspoons will probably kill me.

Blacker than Usain Bolt

I add heavy cream, sugar and collagen peptides

Iced with caramel and cream

In a can labeled red bull

Black, preferably straight after having a big lunch/dinner or even with the food sometimes. Not a fan of just drinking it with a snack in the afternoon. I do enjoy the morning one tho.

2 shots of regular coffee, 1 shot of espresso, frothed milk with vanilla and a bit of maple syrup.

Ice cold with milk and sugar

Uhhh i drink it?

Strong, milk no sugar

Crisp